Relationships Thread

[Scotticus Erroticus]

Last time I banged my ex-gf I couldn't get it up for almost 12 hours

Wait what? Did she munt or something, why were you completely turned off for so long afterwards?

This is cliche but "it has never happened before". Absolutely no idea why, it just wasn't happening. Usually I have a problem similar to GG, without the randomness, but once it's up it stays up for quite some time.

[Buffalo]

'Real talk'.

[Moggy]

Textbook friend zone bypass last night. Have known girl for 2 years, always quite fancied her, got home from a night out last night kipping at hers and she kept making excuses not to go to bed. Talked till the wee hours, hooked up and amazingly she didn't seem to regret anything this morning.

Seeing her again tomorrow. Stay tuned for the inevitable "we should just be friends" reveal.

Does her husband know about this yet?

[TheWay]

Scott, I want you add that to your list of Things I Mustn't Reveal On The Internet.

[Rocsteady]

'Real talk'.

Give me a strawberry floating break was about a litre of rum down.

[Fatal Exception]

Last time I banged my ex-gf I couldn't get it up for almost 12 hours

She dumped me 2 weeks ago.

[Scotticus Erroticus]

Scott, I want you add that to your list of Things I Mustn't Reveal On The Internet.

Internet forum full of gamers.

[Green Gecko]

Last I checked no one cares if you play video games regularly. Actually if you never play games you're a bit weird.

[Floex]

Scott, I want you add that to your list of Things I Mustn't Reveal On The Internet.

Internet forum full of gamers.

Ouch.

[Tafdolphin]

So, off to the "friend for two years then perhaps something more" girl 's tonight. Vague plan is to drive to a lake in the countryside, get a room somewhere and sightsee tomorrow.

Just to make it clear, when I said we hooked up it wasn't sex. We just ended up making out for ages and generally being a bit surprised at what was going on. Both of us. I'm still a little shocked.

Like I say, stay tuned for friend zone renewal, possibly mutual. It's all a bit Rachel and Joey at the moment.

[SEP]

So, off to the "friend for two years then perhaps something more" girl 's tonight. Vague plan is to drive to a lake in the countryside, get a room somewhere and sightsee tomorrow.

Just to make it clear, when I said we hooked up it wasn't sex. We just ended up making out for ages and generally being a bit surprised at what was going on. Both of us. I'm still a little shocked.

Like I say, stay tuned for friend zone renewal, possibly mutual. It's all a bit Rachel and Joey at the moment.

Ready to turn that tattoo into a diamond?

/\

[Green Gecko]

My girlfriend's depressed, distracted and overworked. We have no friends we see regularly and I struggle to motivate myself as well. We're expecting things will get better when we move back to Brighton where at least some of my social circle is and I'll be minutes away from my job as well (instead of 2.5 hours and working from home which is isolated). I've held out in my uni town (and I mean town, there is nothing but a few good pubs here) for 2 years living together. I wanted to do an MA or go to an academy abroad but relationship both complicated this and I had no idea how to fund it.

She has no interest in sex when it used to be really good and my boner is dying, so the honeymoon period ended a long time ago. How do you guys deal with this kind of isolation? I guess since all my friends graduated and moved on (twice, as I did an extra year) I've just not made much effort to make new friends. I've met loads of people mostly through uni with her but they almost never go out anyway and I've not been inviting anyone around or making other arrangements like that. I could go to London more but it's expensive and I don't have much money working part time, which is partly down to wanting to do more things outside of work and because the stress of having no life was doing my head in (when I commuted 20 hours a week).

It's like everything falls down on the relationship and there's not enough other stuff in my life. I'm trying to get on with my own projects (which shouldn't be this difficult) and I used to run bands, make films, do exhibitions and tonnes of stuff. But I was also massively lonely.

I can't tell whether it's me, the relationship or my circumstances that's making me unhappy. My girlfriend is really sweet and sexy but doesn't know it, she has self esteem issues. I've tried so hard to change this but it's getting worse over time.

Am I just actually isolated in the relationship and I need more men (and women) in my life? We used to go out quite a bit and sort of flaunt ourselves a bit but that was early on. We lack a sense of pride and have no social status. I've totally lost my identity as an artist and musician within the local community (students mostly).

So yeah.. I don't think I've asked for input much at all over the years as I always blame myself but what do you guys think might be going on? Am I overthinking this and I just need to get a life?

And we have talked about this a lot.

[That's not a growth]

How often do you go out together or on dates?

[False]

I dont think I could cope with no regular poon action

[Scotticus Erroticus]

My girlfriend's depressed, distracted and overworked. We have no friends we see regularly and I struggle to motivate myself as well. We're expecting things will get better when we move back to Brighton where at least some of my social circle is and I'll be minutes away from my job as well (instead of 2.5 hours and working from home which is isolated). I've held out in my uni town (and I mean town, there is nothing but a few good pubs here) for 2 years living together. I wanted to do an MA or go to an academy abroad but relationship both complicated this and I had no idea how to fund it.

She has no interest in sex when it used to be really good and my boner is dying, so the honeymoon period ended a long time ago. How do you guys deal with this kind of isolation? I guess since all my friends graduated and moved on (twice, as I did an extra year) I've just not made much effort to make new friends. I've met loads of people mostly through uni with her but they almost never go out anyway and I've not been inviting anyone around or making other arrangements like that. I could go to London more but it's expensive and I don't have much money working part time, which is partly down to wanting to do more things outside of work and because the stress of having no life was doing my head in (when I commuted 20 hours a week).

It's like everything falls down on the relationship and there's not enough other stuff in my life. I'm trying to get on with my own projects (which shouldn't be this difficult) and I used to run bands, make films, do exhibitions and tonnes of stuff. But I was also massively lonely.

I can't tell whether it's me, the relationship or my circumstances that's making me unhappy. My girlfriend is really sweet and sexy but doesn't know it, she has self esteem issues. I've tried so hard to change this but it's getting worse over time.

Am I just actually isolated in the relationship and I need more men (and women) in my life? We used to go out quite a bit and sort of flaunt ourselves a bit but that was early on. We lack a sense of pride and have no social status. I've totally lost my identity as an artist and musician within the local community (students mostly).

So yeah.. I don't think I've asked for input much at all over the years as I always blame myself but what do you guys think might be going on? Am I overthinking this and I just need to get a life?

And we have talked about this a lot.

I think you probably hit the nail on the head in the second sentence. Once you guys back in Brighton I'm sure you'll gradually start feeling more confident with the world and more able to express yourself.

[Poser]

I think you probably hit the nail on the head in the second sentence. Once you guys back in Brighton I'm sure you'll gradually start feeling more confident with the world and more able to express yourself.

What Scotty's saying is, always look on the Brighton side of life.

[Green Gecko]

I used to play gigs in Brighton regularly and I'll easily be able to hire the several studios there (even weekly). There's so much better about living somewhere like that.

To survive here socially you have to be involved in the university or there's literally nothing to do. Plus she gets sick all the time so doesn't want to go out.

Re dates, I know this is a problem. There's not much else to do but dinner and pub. We went to cinema recently which was good, I just insisted that we go and told her we are going, didn't give an option. It felt fresh. Trouble is she is depressed and is not outgoing. On the other hand I always feel I should be outside, doing things, collaborating with others etc as that's what makes me smile and I'm actually very social like that. Just my network is kind of gone now. Sometimes I have felt like I just want to move on. Sign up to some random course or say strawberry float it I'm going to royal college or whatever. But that isn't a realistic option. Seriously once I flipped in the middle of the night and applied to an academy in Germany but that was when I was jobless and mental. We've got through all that, in just 4 month's time we will be moving back to my home and I can actually see my friends. It's going to have been 6 years!

The dating thing can be helped but doesn't really seem to address the lack of self esteem and passion..

[False]

Doesnt seem like youre a good match from what youre saying tbh

[Fatal Exception]

I used to play gigs in Brighton regularly and I'll easily be able to hire the several studios there (even weekly). There's so much better about living somewhere like that.

To survive here socially you have to be involved in the university or there's literally nothing to do. Plus she gets sick all the time so doesn't want to go out.

Re dates, I know this is a problem. There's not much else to do but dinner and pub. We went to cinema recently which was good, I just insisted that we go and told her we are going, didn't give an option. It felt fresh. Trouble is she is depressed and is not outgoing. On the other hand I always feel I should be outside, doing things, collaborating with others etc as that's what makes me smile and I'm actually very social like that. Just my network is kind of gone now. Sometimes I have felt like I just want to move on. Sign up to some random course or say strawberry float it I'm going to royal college or whatever. But that isn't a realistic option. Seriously once I flipped in the middle of the night and applied to an academy in Germany but that was when I was jobless and mental. We've got through all that, in just 4 month's time we will be moving back to my home and I can actually see my friends. It's going to have been 6 years!

The dating thing can be helped but doesn't really seem to address the lack of self esteem and passion..

Maybe you need to give her space. The relationship is probably doomed, but maybe give her a chance to miss you. From my experience in dealing with a (probably) depressed girlfriend anything you 'try' will just make it worse.

[Poser]

Maybe you need to give her space. The relationship is probably doomed, but maybe give her a chance to miss you. From my experience in dealing with a (probably) depressed girlfriend anything you 'try' will just make it worse.

^^^

I concur. A girl I went out with for four years (3.5 years too long, with hindsight) credited me with getting her off prozac, which she did within three weeks of meeting me. Just became incredibly needy in my direction instead.

Jealous, possessive, suspicious, neurotic... I became scared to leave her and only stayed with her because I felt sorry for her. Utter strawberry floating disaster.

Good job I didn't slip into a damn-near-identical relationship immediately afterwards, then, eh? (Not my current one, who is bloody brilliant).


tl;dr - even the normal women are mental enough. The properly mental ones are worth avoiding and cannot be fixed. IMO.