Relationships Thread

[Qikz]

Hey I'm like a whole week younger than you, Grandpapa.

Grandpapa? Do people actually say this?

[smurphy]

I've had two successful dates with a human female. This scares me.

2nd date? How was the sex?

Also post pics.

[Banjo]

Sex is a kind of sandwich, right? If so it was delicious.

No. Didn't you see her anyway?

[PaperMacheMario]

Been with the mrs over 5 years now and we've not farted in front of each other once for that very reason.

Really? What do you do, go to the bathroom every time you need to let rip? What if you're really gassy one evening?

[Victor Mildew]

I just let it hiss out when I go for a piss or I'm a few rooms away in the house.

I have woken myself up with massive farts though

[PaperMacheMario]

Real men pin their partners down and fart in their face.

[Victor Mildew]

Dutch oven used to be my weapon of choice.

[That's not a growth]

A mate convinced me to message a girl I got off with last month to get my mind off the girl I really want but things are likely to go no where. After 2 texts we had drinks sorted for tomorrow and have been sexting for the last few hours about how I'm to tie her up and gooseberry fool.

For someone I met once in a bar a month ago and haven't spoken to since she's very keen. Tomorrow should be interesting.

[Shadow]

I've never sexted.

I don't know what they says about me.

[That's not a growth]

Sexting is pretty great, but her sending me a naked photo of herself was even better. You're never quite sure if their heart is in it until that point.

[degoose]

Been with the mrs over 5 years now and we've not farted in front of each other once for that very reason.

This is just weird to me.I've farted in front of my wife loads .I do loads in bed ,I'm sure I am super gassy.

[Green Gecko]

My girlfriend farts all the time and doesn't stop talking about it, jeez it's just a strawberry floating fart, it's like an obsession with farts so I have no idea what you guys are saying. Farting is something to be celebrated, such relief.

[Bunni]

I don't think my bowels could handle it if I moved on from Anung and had to start keeping my farts in again.

[Green Gecko]

I think the idea that farting means you're comfortable with someone is fair. A bit like yawning.

[Victor Mildew]

Been with the mrs over 5 years now and we've not farted in front of each other once for that very reason.

This is just weird to me.I've farted in front of my wife loads .I do loads in bed ,I'm sure I am super gassy.

Yeah but I've been in two long term relationships before and it quickly kills the magic when you're smelling the insides of each other's colons day in day out.

[degoose]

Been with the mrs over 5 years now and we've not farted in front of each other once for that very reason.

This is just weird to me.I've farted in front of my wife loads .I do loads in bed ,I'm sure I am super gassy.

Yeah but I've been in two long term relationships before and it quickly kills the magic when you're smelling the insides of each other's colons day in day out.

Nah five years together so far and we have been like it since pretty much the first month or two of the relationship,it's just dependant on the person.

[Victor Mildew]

It's my insistence far more than hers as my arse is strawberry floating rotten.

[That's not a growth]

So last night was pretty crazy. On the way to meet her, as we had discussed, I bought a clit stimulator. So we met up in a bar and got taking and after a little while I told her to put it down her pants, so she obliged. We stayed for another drink after that while she was trying to stay calm, and then we left for mine. Things started off pretty tame at mine, using the vibrator on her. Then I started to tie her up in various positions. Then I poured candle wax on her. It also turned out she really liked to be choked and pinned down with her fighting against it. My left bicep has bruises all over it, and my left arm and my body have scratches all over. Good night, long time since I've been with someone like this.

[KingK]

Arrrr, young love. Ain't it sweet?

[False]

Sounds ace