So Ive gotten myself into a situation where Ive agreed to go away for a long weekend with some chick. Problem is Im not attracted to her and for this reason have never nailed her. She is not subtle in saying that she expects a weekend of getting messed up big time, but I dont want to do it. Ever since I agreed Ive had her trying to initiate dirty talk every day all the time. She always did that anyway and I fobbed her off, but now theres a prize at the end to her.
I like talking to her because it keeps my self esteem and ego up, and shes a nice enough girl, but I really dont want to do a sex on her. And the constant texting is exhausting.
So as far as shes concerned at the end of Jan we are going away for fun and frivolity. I dont really want to. If I had to go Im sure I could put on a show, but its a lot of work for what is to me, no payoff. I also dont want to shun her forever because shes my go to girl for 9 years now.
Basically shes my ego booster. If ever its all quiet on the poonani front shes a freebie. She likes me lots so I get the ego massage.
She called me on new years at about 2 am shitfaced and was telling me how jealous she was of other girls shes seen on my facebook and how Ive been avoiding her and how its a crime I havent nailed her and how wonderful I am etc. Up to this point I hadnt spoken to her for about 18 months, so shes obviously been keeping up with me. I ended up chatting to her for like 2 hours and in the end I agreed to go away with her.
The next day she texted me dates and it was at that point I realised she wasnt as shitfaced as Id hoped.
Ive been chatting to her all week and its been good and shes lovely and all that. If she was fitter Id probably have been with her for 9 years already. But so far I havent been able to come up with a solution that isnt 'go radio silence' or 'strawberry float her for 3 days'.
Im a fussy chap. Ive had instances before where Ive just had to grin and bear it, plow through (boom boom), and pretend I had a great time - but in those cases Ive always just made my excuses and left.
Its also the worry that she seems to be in the mood all the time. If I dont like it the first time how am I going to cope 10 times a day for 3 days?
I was just reading on another forum on some thread about how often is regular for married people and someone mentioned viagra which I had completely forgotten about. I could sneakily drop one of those as required, but Ive never tried them before and the last thing I need is to be pitching a tent 24/7 around someone like that.
If I were on the fence I'd see how it went. I've previously either not been attracted to someone or only found them slightly attractive at different times, different outfits etc and then I've been attracted to them later. Probably because my taste in women is all over the place. Sometimes there are things I don't like that I get used to when it turns out there is something about their personality that pleases more. And some pretty women can look like gooseberry fool (too much makeup, meth etc) and some more average women scrub up really really well (if they have basic good stuff like nice eyes and smile and balanced face). Some women just never wear makeup or dress down but are actually really pretty. And it helps it they have 1 or 2 fetishisms.
But it doesn't sound like you're on the fence. Maybe you should consider her personality more.
Plus it's pretty awesome when a woman just wants to have loads of sex with you when you aren't even trying. The ego thing you're talking about is important and sex is sex and doesn't happen all the time.
I'm not saying get into a thing with someone whom you're not physically attracted but sometimes you can change your mind. It's hard to explain. I find it happens when I have a crush on someone that blinds me to women like that who, well actually like you. So protip I guess, sometimes you should go for the ego booster even if they're not the prettiest woman in the universe.
And the "in the mood all the time" thing will pass.
I've read viagra is only meant to last something like 4 hours, so you should be safe there. And like GG says, don't worry about her wanting it all the time, that'll just because she hasn't had any in a while.
I agree that personality is important and all that gooseberry fool, but thats only if you want to pursue a relationship. Im not interested in that gooseberry fool and for these purposes attraction is surely the most important aspect.
My two biggest fears:
#1 - hairy beaver. I cant handle that gooseberry fool, let alone be trapped in a room with it for 3 days. #2 - she puts us as in a relationship on facebook. If she does that, everyone will know, and they'll all think thats the best I can do. To mitigate this I am seriously considering putting my facebook into hibernate.