Stupid injuries

PostStupid injuries by **thousand yard stare** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:21 pm

I've just heard musician Charlotte Hatherley (once of Ash) admit she once had to pull out of an interview because she accidentally hit herself in the head with an iron. And I can dimly recall the story of a footballer who couldn't turn up for training because of some insanely innocuous activity that led to an injury (something like buttering some toast and he sliced his hand off. It wasn't that, but something similarly daft).

Leaving aside the weird ways people can injure themselves, I'm a bit surprised someone would admit to hurting themselves through such blatant nincompoopery. If you broke a toe by kicking a lamp post, for instance, would you admit it for the amusing anecdote value? Or would you make up a less interesting, but also less embarrassing story? Show your working out. Or just recall your golden memories of horrendous celebrity injuries that have amused you over the years. The choice is yours.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by JK » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:27 pm

Didn't David James drop a PS2 on his foot once?

I have no idea why I would know that.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **FatDaz** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:33 pm

JKingle All The Way wrote:Didn't David James drop a PS2 on his foot once?

I have no idea why I would know that.

I remember hearing Darius Vassell once used a power drill on a blister or something similar and was out of action for quite a while. Not sure if its true, but hilariously stupid if it is!

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Steve** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:33 pm

I crashed my bike into a tree once.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Abs** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:36 pm

Push bike Steve, or one of those motorized ones?

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Vermin** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:40 pm

Not an injury as such, but extremely embarrassing. A few years ago after returning home very drunk (on my Beer Scooter, no less) I decided that it would be a great idea to cut my own hair, as it was getting a little wild, and in my inebriated state I considered myself to be perfectly capable, if not perhaps a latent genius of hairdressing. I did this with the guidance of the bathroom mirror, and nothing - or nobody - else to help, as I was single at the time and lived on my tod. I woke up the next morning and was actually shocked to the point of tears at what a bad job I'd done. There was a huge clump missing from the left side that revealed some bare scalp.

Not wanting to go into work like this (where I managed a small team of people, so had to at least appear to be deserving of some respect) I decided to go for the earliest haircut in my life at a Barbers nearby, where they shaved my head to a number 1. Thing is, I had little choice but to be mostly honest about what I was doing, and had to tell the MD that I was going for an emergency haircut at 9.00am. I couldn't really lie, then appear at about 11.00am with a freshly shorn head, and get some very confused looks from some of the people I had been out with until around 10pm the previous night.

It took months to live it down.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **FatDaz** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:41 pm

Broke my toe having a danger wank, panicked and ran into a door at full speed

Not me of course :shifty:

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **BobbyDigital** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:54 pm

Steve wrote:I crashed my bike into a tree once.

Exclusive pictures from the scene afterwards.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Memento Mori** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:58 pm

Fell out of a tree, fell down some stairs, accidentally punched myself in the face.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Cardinal Chunder** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:58 pm

Footballers always seem to get injured in the most bizarre ways. Didn't someone trip over their dog and another drop some salad cream on his foot? I can't remember who they were but it sounds familiar.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Cuttooth** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:00 pm

Didn't someone recuperating from a hamstring injury on one leg, pull the other one by getting up too fast?

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **thousand yard stare** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:04 pm

i read about a footballer who was driving a flash car, but he's a short arse. He strained some tendons trying to accelerate the pedal. And there was a goalkeeper who was giving his defenders such a bollocking, shouting with such gusto that he dislocated his own jaw through the terrifying power of his vocal chords.

Nice danger-wank and drunken hairdressing stories too. Perhaps one day I'll recount a harrowing story of my own, but right now the scars are too fresh.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Memento Mori** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:08 pm

Walking into a lamppost that was another one and my brother hit me in the head with a rake years ago.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **SEP** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:13 pm

Memento Merry wrote:Fell out of a tree, fell down some stairs, accidentally punched myself in the face.

Was that all the same incident?

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Adam231** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:16 pm

I dropped my xbox steering wheel on my feet the other day, my left got off pretty lucky but my right one was cut to gooseberry fool was bleeding and swelled up like a bitch. :fp:

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Memento Mori** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:17 pm

Merry Christmas, Noobs! wrote:
Memento Merry wrote:Fell out of a tree, fell down some stairs, accidentally punched myself in the face.

Was that all the same incident?

Nah. I seem to regularly fall down stairs though. The other week I cut my hand on 2 doors on the same place on 2 different fingers.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **Fatal Exception** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:19 pm

*takes deep breath*

-Split my head open walking into a shop sign.
-Went over the handle bars of my bike while riding with no hands on a wonky pavement, broke two fingers in my left hand
-Went down a park slide on rollerblades, fell off at the end and broke my wrist.
-Fell sideways off my bike while stationary onto the handlebars of another bike breaking two ribs
-Running for the green man at a crossing I tripped over a disabled ramp for a bank and broke my left metatarsel.
-Fell over some shoes left on the stairs and broke my right metatarsel
-Droped a big 1L bottle of oil on my foot and broke by big toe.
-Threw my ex onto my bed from quite high up breaking the bed. A metal pole broke off and cut my foot, I've still got a scar.
-Jumped into a river and landed on slate, slicing open the whole of the bottom of my foot. I still have a scar.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **thousand yard stare** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:27 pm

I was such an incredible spasmo when I was a kid; there was a wall near our local library with a drop onto some grass that had to be at least four foot. I had a new BMX (was about 10), and I thought if I rode off this drop at full speed I'd go flying across like, I dunno, like Bart crossing the ravine on his skateboard I guess (though The Simpsons didn't even exist back then, the reference is for your benefit. I'm painting a picture.). So I went for it, and of course the moment the bike leaves the drop it just heads straight down and I smash into the ground like the massive twerp that I am.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **BobbyDigital** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:31 pm

Festive Exception wrote:*takes deep breath*

-Split my head open walking into a shop sign.
-Went over the handle bars of my bike while riding with no hands on a wonky pavement, broke two fingers in my left hand
-Went down a park slide on rollerblades, fell off at the end and broke my wrist.
-Fell sideways off my bike while stationary onto the handlebars of another bike breaking two ribs
-Running for the green man at a crossing I tripped over a disabled ramp for a bank and broke my left metatarsel.
-Fell over some shoes left on the stairs and broke my right metatarsel
-Droped a big 1L bottle of oil on my foot and broke by big toe.
-Threw my ex onto my bed from quite high up breaking the bed. A metal pole broke off and cut my foot, I've still got a scar.
-Jumped into a river and landed on slate, slicing open the whole of the bottom of my foot. I still have a scar.

At least this is confirmation that internet folk are not frail, weak and fragile.

PostRe: Stupid injuries by **SEP** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:34 pm

Festive Exception wrote:*takes deep breath*

-Split my head open walking into a shop sign.
-Went over the handle bars of my bike while riding with no hands on a wonky pavement, broke two fingers in my left hand
-Went down a park slide on rollerblades, fell off at the end and broke my wrist.
-Fell sideways off my bike while stationary onto the handlebars of another bike breaking two ribs
-Running for the green man at a crossing I tripped over a disabled ramp for a bank and broke my left metatarsel.
-Fell over some shoes left on the stairs and broke my right metatarsel
-Droped a big 1L bottle of oil on my foot and broke by big toe.
-Threw my ex onto my bed from quite high up breaking the bed. A metal pole broke off and cut my foot, I've still got a scar.
-Jumped into a river and landed on slate, slicing open the whole of the bottom of my foot. I still have a scar.

I suggest you drink more milk.

Stupid injuries

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