TCRT 6: Episode 1 - The Phantom Chatroom

Moggy wrote:Normal person at work “I won £25 on the lottery last night”
Crazy new lady “Well, I once won £5,500 when it first started, I remember it well because I didn’t ever check the results and so was told by the shop that I had to go to the Post Office with it and when I got there they told me it would be 10 days until I get a cheque, I was confused because why pay by a cheque instead of cash? Anyway so I went back 10 days later and they gave me a cheque for £5,500! I was so confused as I had no idea how much I had won as I never checked how much it was!”.

I hate this woman, is she also middle age? I ask because most of the middle age women I work with are strawberry floating annoying. It seems to be once they settle into family life with a couple of children they just turn strawberry floating annoying and talk absolute bollocks all day.

shadow202 wrote:

Moggy wrote:Normal person at work “I won £25 on the lottery last night”
Crazy new lady “Well, I once won £5,500 when it first started, I remember it well because I didn’t ever check the results and so was told by the shop that I had to go to the Post Office with it and when I got there they told me it would be 10 days until I get a cheque, I was confused because why pay by a cheque instead of cash? Anyway so I went back 10 days later and they gave me a cheque for £5,500! I was so confused as I had no idea how much I had won as I never checked how much it was!”.

I hate this woman, is she also middle age? I ask because most of the middle age women I work with are strawberry floating annoying. It seems to be once they settle into family life with a couple of children they just turn strawberry floating annoying and talk absolute bollocks all day.

Yeah she’s middle aged. She is one of those people that is constantly one upping everyone else no matter the subject. If you won a small amount on the lottery, she won £5,500. If you went to watch horse racing, she owns racehorses. If you are ill, she once had cancer. If your kid is annoying, hers has autism. If you are single/just split up with somebody then she had a messy divorce and her husband not only cheated on her but also stole all the money out of her account. If you like a band/singer then she once had a date with Kevin Rowland from Dexys Midnight Runners, but her dad didn’t like him much.

All of those are true by the way and she has only worked here a couple of weeks.

We used to call my old boss two gooseberry fools. Every story you had he had one slightly more nuanced and to the next level.

If you had a gooseberry fool, he had two.

Someone at work once described someone exactly like this and said that if you'd been to Tenerife, he'd been to Elevenrife.

If your kid is annoying, hers has autism

Albear wrote:If your kid is annoying, hers has autism

That’s pretty much how the conversation went. One lady was saying how her kid was playing up last night and how she had to send him to his room. Crazy new lady then butted in with how her kid has autism and he plays music too loud and will not turn it down and so she trips the circuit breaker to his room when the music gets too annoying. That used to work when he was younger as he just thought it was a power cut but as he got older he realised that it was her cutting the power and so they had arguments about it. Oh and apparently he is 26 now.

They are on about diets at the moment. Apparently the Special K diet is the best as she watched a TV programme last night where somebody just ate Special K for 2 weeks and lost a whole stone!

Except she eats 'Extra Special K'

Moggy wrote:

Albear wrote:If your kid is annoying, hers has autism

That’s pretty much how the conversation went. One lady was saying how her kid was playing up last night and how she had to send him to his room. Crazy new lady then butted in with how her kid has autism and he plays music too loud and will not turn it down and so she trips the circuit breaker to his room when the music gets too annoying. That used to work when he was younger as he just thought it was a power cut but as he got older he realised that it was her cutting the power and so they had arguments about it. Oh and apparently he is 26 now.

They are on about diets at the moment. Apparently the Special K diet is the best as she watched a TV programme last night where somebody just ate Special K for 2 weeks and lost a whole stone!

To be fair that diet really works. Just thinking about eating nothing but Special K for 2 weeks makes me want to throw up so much that I'd probably lose a stone.

Eat it solely for a few weeks more and you'll lose tonnes of weight as your body turns into a slowly rotting corpse. It's the perfect diet plan.

You guys all talking about one uppers you know, I use to know a guy who could one up all of them in the blink of an eye.

Moggy, you could actually have some fun with this new lady being a one-upper. Start coming out with some perhaps untrue exaggerated outrageous stuff and wait to see how she tops it.

Get her on the Grcade podcast

An older chap called my sister "disgusting" this morning. Her crime was to be talking to a friend as they got their trollies at the supermarket. Apparently they got in the way of this guy and, when my sister asked him if he wanted to get past, he said "Disgusting!" .

what?

Disgusting behaviour

Pics

Just got back from the ultrasound (which we managed to get today with 2 hours’ notice) and it was totally clear. Doctor was lovely too and really put us at ease, nothing to worry about

Thank strawberry float.

Tomous wrote:You guys all talking about one uppers you know, I use to know a guy who could one up all of them in the blink of an eye.

Preezy wrote:Just got back from the ultrasound (which we managed to get today with 2 hours’ notice) and it was totally clear. Doctor was lovely too and really put us at ease, nothing to worry about

Thank strawberry float.

Wrong thread dude. Get yourself in the other one so Karl can tell you about his saucepans (no homo).

Preezy wrote:Just got back from the ultrasound (which we managed to get today with 2 hours’ notice) and it was totally clear. Doctor was lovely too and really put us at ease, nothing to worry about

Thank strawberry float.

That's awesomeness. Glad everything worked out okay..

But I once had to get a rectal examination by Hitler. My story is better than yours. WORSHIP ME.