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Dblock
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AKA: Discovery

PostThe dead job market.
by Dblock » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:06 pm

Here is a tip for all the unemployed or employed. If you want to make steady income every month you can easily. Make YouTube videos ofcourse with false headlines . Stick to something that is happening now. Example "kony caught in the jungle"

You will get lots hits and YouTube will pay you for it.

I got £110 last month :lol:

''Saying it's because I was controlling you and making you sad when actually I just asked you to wear some trousers'' :lol: :lol:
jambot
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by jambot » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:12 pm

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Last edited by jambot on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Eighthours
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Eighthours » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:12 pm

Oh, good point: NEVER WRITE YOUR CV IN COMIC SANS.

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Cuttooth
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Cuttooth » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:14 pm

Don't post it to the same vacancy twice either.

jambot
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by jambot » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:17 pm

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Last edited by jambot on Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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tnman
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by tnman » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:19 pm



See, the weird thing about that is that I noticed it broke a 'golden rule' I was taught immediately upon opening. I've always been told that a CV, under no circumstances, should be longer than 2 sides of A4.

So much CV advice out there is shite. Not that I'm applying that statement to Eighty and Millsy, but it is very difficult to actually choose what advice to follow, let alone then pumping out a good ol' vitae from it.

Dr Kelso wrote:I only play Pac-Man and that car-jack game. There's nothing quite like scoring a caddy and mowing down street hos.
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Eighthours
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Eighthours » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:25 pm

tnman wrote:


See, the weird thing about that is that I noticed it broke a 'golden rule' I was taught immediately upon opening. I've always been told that a CV, under no circumstances, should be longer than 2 sides of A4.

So much CV advice out there is shite. Not that I'm applying that statement to Eighty and Millsy, but it is very difficult to actually choose what advice to follow, let alone then pumping out a good ol' vitae from it.


It entirely depends on the position you're applying for. If you're after an entry level job and you're in your late teens or early twenties, then anything over 2 pages looks overblown and nuts. But if you're going for a £50k systems analyst role or something, then two pages would be ridiculously short.

I'm good at CV advice simply because of my wife, who has had to rewrite thousands of them over the course of her career for every level of role, from total foot-in-the-door £11k jobs right up to 6 figure salaries. If anyone has any specific questions that I'm not sure about, I'm more than happy to direct them to her.

You're right, though, tnny: a lot of the CV-writing advice out there is total shite.

If I can direct you to Millsy's CV for a second, his personal profile has gold filling in a cliche sandwich: "...passion for attention to detail, an ability to rapidly learn and implement new skills and knowledge" - that's great, that's me actually learning something about the way he works. The bits that surround it, though, I must have read on practically ever CV I've ever seen. They're necessary things to say, mind ("Ooooh, he hasn't said he's a team player?! He must HATE teams!"), but I'd make the less generic stuff jump out as much as possible. Also, the third part of the sentence is a bit clumsy. Apostrophes? Hmmm, maybe slightly too informal.

I'd change it thusly so it's not a run-on sentence and the team player aspect is reinforced:

Millsy mash up wrote:I am a confident, driven and professional team player who is able to quickly build rapport with new people using my highly effective communication skills. I have a passion for attention to detail, as well as the ability to rapidly learn and implement new skills and knowledge.

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tnman
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by tnman » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:28 pm

Does your wife have any editorial and/or new media jobs for me Eighty? ;)

Dr Kelso wrote:I only play Pac-Man and that car-jack game. There's nothing quite like scoring a caddy and mowing down street hos.
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by jambot » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:30 pm

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Last edited by jambot on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Slartibartfast
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Slartibartfast » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:31 pm

Carlos wrote:
Eighthours wrote:
Frank wrote:
Eighthours wrote:Finally, if you're not going through some horrible automated online application form (they suck), personalise the application. Not through *shudder* head shots or anything gooseberry fool like that, but a professionally written cover letter.


Christ, the online applications are the absolute worst thing about finding jobs at the moment. Why have I wasted all this time writing the perfect CV, if every bloody employer wants me to copy and paste exactly what I've written in the CV into separate stupid boxes in separate bloody windows. Don't be lazy, just read the sodding thing. It's genuinely baffling that they expect everyone to waste two hours filling in each of the 13 pointless bloody segments.

I reckon that's probably why they do it, actually. The only people who can be bothered to work through the whole depressing process are the ones who actually want a job.

Says a lot that I've actually had more luck sticking my CV on Monster (a few days after I posted it someone who employs contractors for Ford got in touch to say that Ford's chief engineer wanted a graduate for their latches department in a few months, and as I've got experience with latches, would I be interested?) than I have with these stupid online application graduate schemes, though.


Your theory is indeed why some companies like those hideous online applications. There are so many people out there who just spam their CVs to every Tom, Dick and Harry.


Also the only real reason to go to 6th form is to get into Uni in the first place. I speak as a Teacher when I say A-levels really are nothing more than Uni entrance exams. If you're not thinking of going to Uni, do something more productive like an apprenticeship.


True for some subjects, but I think maths A level is important to demonstrate a minimum mathematical competence. Otherwise you've stopped with doing basic sums at GCSE and havn't used it again for 2 years if you study other A levels, many more years if you go to university.

Required mathematics until 18 is a basic things the UK should be doing.

jambot
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by jambot » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:38 pm

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Last edited by jambot on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Eighthours
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Eighthours » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:42 pm

jambot wrote:For most employers, GCSEs have been completely devalued. A-levels are important, but only the good ones.


Which is why the CV and subsequent interview are so important. It's getting ever harder to differentiate between candidates based solely on academic achievement. There is a root cause: the previous Labour Government deciding that everyone leaving school with the same bit of paper was a good idea, devaluing exam results in the process as you say.

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tnman
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by tnman » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:47 pm

jambot wrote:
tnman wrote:See, the weird thing about that is that I noticed it broke a 'golden rule' I was taught immediately upon opening. I've always been told that a CV, under no circumstances, should be longer than 2 sides of A4.


That's rubbish. 3 is fine. Longer is too much to read.

Put yourself in the place of the person reading a massive pile of CVs and sifting down from 100 to 10, say. Anything scruffy gets ditched. Good layout is a massive factor. Any typos? Ditched. Those long, wanky personal statements that say nothing other than 'I'm a massive egotist'? Weirdo. Ditched.


I've been advised also to put in a wanky personal statement. Not long, just wanky.

It's just so subjective.

Dr Kelso wrote:I only play Pac-Man and that car-jack game. There's nothing quite like scoring a caddy and mowing down street hos.
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Frank
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Frank » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:52 pm

I think the real question is; do you write "Curriculum Vitae" at the top?

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tnman
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by tnman » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:54 pm

No.

*Waits for someone to say yes.*

Dr Kelso wrote:I only play Pac-Man and that car-jack game. There's nothing quite like scoring a caddy and mowing down street hos.
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Eighthours
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by Eighthours » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:55 pm

Frank wrote:I think the real question is; do you write "Curriculum Vitae" at the top?


You should write it in yellow and make sure it's misspelled. Oh, other top tip: find the worst face shot of yourself that you can and put it, loud and proud, in the top right hand corner of your CV. Would-be employers will ONLY hire people who do this.

jambot
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by jambot » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:57 pm

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Last edited by jambot on Tue Nov 06, 2012 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Dblock
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AKA: Discovery

PostRe: The dead job market.
by Dblock » Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:07 pm

Dblock wrote:Here is a tip for all the unemployed or employed. If you want to make steady income every month you can easily. Make YouTube videos ofcourse with false headlines . Stick to something that is happening now. Example "kony caught in the jungle"

You will get lots hits and YouTube will pay you for it.

I got £110 last month :lol:


Yes guys this is FOR REAL. If you don't believe me. Google it .

You generate money from the ads on your videos. You monetise your videos after uploading them, depending on how new your chanel is you might need to wait before you get the option to monetise your videos.

I have two channels.

All that money is for my GAEMZ 8-)

''Saying it's because I was controlling you and making you sad when actually I just asked you to wear some trousers'' :lol: :lol:
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Andrew Mills
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Location: Cranfield

PostRe: The dead job market.
by Andrew Mills » Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:13 pm

Eighthours wrote:
Millsy mash up wrote:I am a confident, driven and professional team player who is able to quickly build rapport with new people using my highly effective communication skills. I have a passion for attention to detail, as well as the ability to rapidly learn and implement new skills and knowledge.

I have to stick my hand up and - ironically - admit that my technical writing ability is strawberry floating shite. Utter rubbish. I have no idea about verbs, nouns, pro-nouns etc (although I've always remembered what an adjective is for some reason :?). But... my slightly informal writing 'style' must have been good enough to have been writing semi-professionally for over five years now (even more so seeing as my work has very rarely ever been altered by sub-editors). Eighty has great subbing skills (as demonstrated on my CV above :oops: ), but I'd - hope at least - that my CV is better than a lot of tripe out there (as far as structure and layout goes at least).

Feel like subbing my CV for real Eighty? :shifty: :shifty: ;)

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satriales
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PostRe: The dead job market.
by satriales » Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:19 pm

Frank wrote:I think the real question is; do you write "Curriculum Vitae" at the top?

No, just put your name there instead.


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