Qikz wrote:I am at a complete and absolute loss. I don't understand what is going on anymore.
I've been acting like I always have, been doing more tickets than anyone again and working at a high standard and today I got pulled into my bosses office and given 1 step off of a disciplinary (a letter of concern) because I've been waiting for everyone to have lunch to go so we don't leave the desks unmanned and because I have an attitude problem.
Not one person has ever said I've had an attitude problem. I don't understand anything about this company. I'm just at a complete loss of words.
I find at times like this you need to be a bit clinical and break down what they're saying into bullet points and tackle them individually.
Going off what you've said:
A) I got pulled into my bosses office and given 1 step off of a disciplinary (a letter of concern) because I've been waiting for everyone to have lunch
A) i) The rule is that we were meant to go to lunch between 12 and 2. Me and my friend always went at 2, but because 4-5 people always went at half 1 it meant we could never leave until half 2 and there was never a moment before then we could go. He sees this as disrespecting a managerial decision as I've done that for over a year and nobody has ever complained to me.
B) I have an attitude problem
"A" you can tackle right away. Tell them to tell you when to go for lunch. They have a problem with when you go for lunch? In all honesty, I can't believe this is an issue yet here you are. From my perspective they're acting like strawberry floating idiots, and I'm sorry to say I hope they're trying to force you out because I wouldn't want you to work with people that were this petty naturally. You tried to make this a logical choice, and failed, so just put it on them. If they're unhappy with the way you're doing something, anything, it's not unreasonable to ask how they want it to be done.
"B" is more difficult. Maybe you do. We don't know.
But, I don't believe for one second you're being a dick, or trying to be one, but I can believe that the difficulties you've talked about recently have changed they way you are acting day to day enough for people who see you 40+ hours a week to notice. Issue being, most people don't care about you. Not in a "they hate you" kind of way, they just don't really care either way. Think about how much you care about your bus driver getting a promotion. That's how much most people care. They just care about you doing that job in that moment.
Really, I think you need to start looking at other options.
c) Whenever I get called to his office I get really nervous and just can't explain anything or ask him for anything, especially after last week I'm just terrified they're trying to find a reason to fire me. Despite the fact I perform better than anyone else (there's facts to back this up) and I know I'm paid less than people that just joined 6 months ago
If they're doing the same job as you, they why would you want to stay there?
If you have stats that back up your performance, and you're being paid less, then what else is there? Isn't that what work comes down to? Being paid a fair rate based on your performance compared to your peers and contemporaries? It's difficult to see it at times, especially when you feel like there's hundreds of people snapping at your heels to take your place, but having a job is a two way street, and you don't have to take this.
If your starts are as strong as you say, and even though it was temporary you have higher level experience, you can certainly make a CV explaining how you're looking for a greater challenge (glossing over the reason for the short promotion) you should be able to find something else. If nothing else, it'll give you a goal and a drive to help power you through the next few weeks and to help distract you from making a mistake at work because you've had too much time to over think things.
I'd say there's no harm in seeing what your options are. They're not loyal to you and any blip you may have, so don't bestow them the same gratitude.
Qikz wrote:...suddenly [some person] was made SLA manager and she seems to have a problem with me [and then] I suddenly lost my promotion and now this...
Qikz wrote:...he wants me to go back to how I used to be and as someone who hasn't really changed I don't get what I need to do.
I think these are the flashpoints. You need to figure out: 1. Is the new manager out for your blood? If so, you need to stay out of her way. 2. Regardless of whether or not you are actually acting differently, what do you need to change to convince your boss you're 'back to normal'? Maybe this is appearing very happy, putting in extraordinary effort, or following rules to the letter, and keeping it up for a while until he forgets about this.
If you're going to ask your manager about (2), I would start off by emphasising that you already feel better (even if you don't), assuring him that you'll be putting in double-effort to make up for any shortcomings (keep this vague and don't dredge up specifics), thanking him for looking out for you (even if he didn't), and then ask him if he has any specific points he'd like you to work on. That way it looks like you've taken initiative to address the problem, even if the problem only exists in his head.
Meanwhile, prepare a new CV, think about how to positively spin all the experiences you've had (even the bad ones), and keep an eye open for new opportunities. It sounds like long-term you'd be better off moving on.
I spoke to my new manager today and we've talked things through at least. I think she was under the impression that I hated her rather than the other way round and maybe she thought that I was deliberately being antagonistic with her which is why she complained to my boss and ended me up in this mess. I think we've made up so that's something.
I'm going to speak to my team leader and her again on Monday and find out exactly what is different about me. I'm going to ask my colleagues as well and at least then I can change whatever it is that's happening. If I'm being 100% honest it's likely my deep routed anxiety that I've been refusing to admit is a problem is finally starting to affect my life in a negative way and I need to control that.
Then again until I know exactly what I'm doing wrong I can't do anything to fix it, so getting upset or annoyed about it now isn't going to solve anything. I'm going to fix up my CV over the weekend to show my Dad since he wants me to do it ASAP and at least then I can start looking for other opportunities. I don't necessarily want to leave as where I work is so close, but that's why I need to fix things at my current work so i don't feel like I'm 1 step away from being fired so I can look at my own leisure for something that suits me.
All I know is I want to stay the hell away from remote support. I want a nice internal IT job. Thank you all very much for all your advice. It really means a lot that I have people I feel comfortable venting to.
The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Stay Dead...
jesus christ this all sounds like school puts a more positive gloss on being self-employed. sorry, i dont have much advice as never been in an office situation before - had a crazy manager in catering but that was everyone versus him so wasnt too bad to deal with.
That sounds like a great action plan mate really good on you for approaching it constructively and not giving into.
These people sound toxic, selfish and paranoid with no empathy, I genuinely can't understand why any of this matters to them if your performance is good. It sounds like somewhere I would end up ill but that's just me and don't have the full picture. I bailed out of office work entirely and have no interest to return despite being approached for numerous things. Even keeping on my feet and doing technical and physically demanding work didn't evade the "wire" of this sort of crap (just got shut out instead). Bloody people. So now I choose my people as much as they choose me.
Many say work for people not companies, maybe you could temp for a while to find somewhere you like. I just couldn't be bothered doing that forever but you seem to actually cope very well. As my performance sucked when mistreated, anxiety attacks etc.
It sounds like she is extremely petty. You are probably best following your dad's advice.
I've had this type of behaviour before. I generally don't sit with others for lunch or tea, I like my own space. People get very weird about it. I've had some bullshit situations develop from it in previous workplace, like being essentially shunned from everything and completely blanked. It is never the best feeling. Thankfully my workplace now has a lot more people in it. Makes it easier to avoid stuff like this arising.
I've yet to find a workplace that doesn't seem like an extension of school. Office hidden politics are literally the worst.
gooseberry fool Staydead, that sucks that you’re being put through that. My advice would be to look around for something else if you don’t think the relationship with the manager can be salvaged. You don’t deserve to be treated like gooseberry fool.
I had a similar issue years ago. I joined a new company and was put under the wing of a senior who I was to work with. The senior was fine, but the team manager HATED the senior. He hated him so much that he took everything out on me. I received a verbal warning for nothing. Then a first written warning for nothing.
I said to HR, what the hell can I do? I had lists of all the good things I had done, but it was brushed off that the manager can do whatever he wants.
Then suddenly I was moved to another part of the team. And the same manager was fine with me. Like nothing had happened!
Office politics are strawberry floating horrible, if you can’t change things there, then get the hell out before it destroys your self confidence.
I've always gone out for lunch or just generally buggered off, at least sat in another room. Even at university I didn't use the canteen until my final year because I couldn't deal with crowds or noise.
Lunch is the only time you get away from stuff so quite often socialising is the last thing I want to do. So now I go to co-working places occasionally largely for that, reversing it. If part of the reason I'm there is to meet people and make contacts then it's purposeful, but everyday unless I had great friends would do my nut in.
Kind of makes me sound like an asshole and I'm not I just don't work with large groups unless I have at least one proper friend. Really no one does, that's how cliques and gangs with obvious leaders form. It really is just like school.
Remember that it's always easier to find another job while you're already working. One thing I might suggest though is to not start applying to other places right away (though absolutely scope out the market). Do as you've suggested and work at getting the boss to think you're 'back to the person you used to be' as he puts it. The reason I say that is to ensure he gives a glowing reference, rather than potentially being tempted to just provide a basic "time served" reference that doesn't really mention you personally.
Also, have you considered talking to your GP about your anxiety? You say you've never really admitted it's a problem before so I'm guessing you haven't, or at least haven't told them how bad it really is, but please correct me if I'm wrong and you've said you have elsewhere. If you haven't though your GP can likely refer you to all kinds of services to help you deal with that which wouldn't just help you with work but with your everyday life.
Yeah, I don't plan on burning any bridges or going anywhere before I find somewhere else.
That's exactly why I want to mend things and why I'm so confused at what my attitude problem is. I look forward to finding out from my team leader on Monday so I can do the exact opposite to stay well away from any trouble.
The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Stay Dead...
Errkal wrote:Don't just do the opposite it may be their being dicks and you can justify whatever it is.
Acting how they want isn't necessarily a good thing, but be open to change and see what it is and go from there.
Yeah I’d agree with that.
Also, be prepared that they might just be acting likes dicks and there’s nothing you can do about it. Hopefully not, but they might just be arseholes.
Make notes on the things you’ve done to improve things and the things they’ve done that are unfair. Dates/times etc. If it ever comes to a head, you might have a case for constructive dismissal and having detailed notes will help you.