The Work Thread

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Mon Sep 18, 2017 2:59 am

smurphy wrote:You're giving yourself 30 days to find a new job? Including Christmas. :dread:

Nobody wants to do their accounts. Ever. He'll be fine.

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Tragic Magic
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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Tragic Magic » Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:10 am

Green Gecko wrote:
smurphy wrote:You're giving yourself 30 days to find a new job? Including Christmas. :dread:

Nobody wants to do their accounts. Ever. He'll be fine.


I've done it before. When I was made redundant from my last job I got this one within days at the start of January, was my first interview too. And if I haven't found one by January I'm sure being able to say I can start immediately will be of some benefit, right?

I do have to say though, the thought of going ahead with it is terrifying me this morning. Two weeks until then anyway.

Had a quick job search on my phone at lunch time. Only looked at one job but it immediately looked very promising and I think I'd be a strong contender. Think I'll update my CV tonight and start applying.

Feel miserable today so I don't see a real need to wait until December. Was just wanting to ensure I wasn't working for the Christmas period but I'm more eager to get things moving than I thought last night.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Rocsteady » Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:37 pm

Jesus some jobs take ages to decide if they want you - first applied for a job in July, since then I've had four interviews and four tests, and they're gonna get back to me at the end of next week to tell me if i got it or not.

Bit awkward as I'm stalling like a mummy strawberry floater with the other position i got offered, they've been really nice so gonna feel like a total judas if i now say that i don't want the position. Still though, more money and more flexibilty in location = success..

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:58 pm

The idea is it costs more to hire the wrong person and have to hire again than to hire the right person to begin with, which is why there are so many hoops. Employment is an expensive and unrewarding business.

strawberry float all of that, I could spend 4 months soliciting 40 clients and probably have the same job security.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Rocsteady » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:01 pm

Yeah it just jars a little when the other place had one interview and one test before offering me the role.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:03 pm

If the employment is being handled by an external agency than they will be selling a giant contract to manage every intake, meaning strings of meaningless tests to get maximum money out of the client. Generally the smaller places can't afford these long winded processes, even though they are hit the worst by walk outs. So I wouldn't be surprised if one is a much larger organisation, or has higher per head capita i.e. sort of elitist / more risk on each individual's decision making power. Those places are so paranoid about hiring the wrong person they will just throw money at loads of employment screening.

At least you know if you get the job with loads of tests they will want to make a return on that over a longer term so probably much better job security - but it also puts more pressure on you to perform because a single stretched truth or any bullshitting will be held to task.. It's a tough ask because with so much grinding to just get the job everyone is going to play themselves up.. which is why I sort of disagree with it. If you can't judge somebody by an interview and/or work test then you probably shouldn't be hiring anyone.

The entire industry built around the paranoia and scarcity in the job market at the moment is ridiculous, you literally have employment firms making more money than most other professional sectors other than law, finance etc. I know because I worked for one. We literally had to watch a training video that talked about paedophiles. :lol: It was one of the fastest growing companies in the sector several years ago and I believe it still is.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Rocsteady » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:10 pm

Green Gecko wrote:If the employment is being handled by an external agency than they will be selling a giant contract to manage every intake, meaning strings of meaningless tests to get maximum money out of the client. Generally the smaller places can't afford these long winded processes, even though they are hit the worst by walk outs. So I wouldn't be surprised if one is a much larger organisation, or has higher per head capita i.e. sort of elitist / more risk on each individual's decision making power. Those places are so paranoid about hiring the wrong person they will just throw money at loads of employment screening.

At least you know if you get the job with loads of tests they will want to make a return on that over a longer term so probably much better job security - but it also puts more pressure on you to perform because a single stretched truth or any bullshitting will be held to task.. It's a tough ask because with so much grinding to just get the job everyone is going to play themselves up.. which is why I sort of disagree with it. If you can't judge somebody by an interview and/or work test then you probably shouldn't be hiring anyone.

Nail on the head man, $25bn company vs 12 person start-up.

The large company's tests have included outsourced personality and IQ tests :|

And you're right, I'm still telling the truth but by this point I'm wording it all so that I'm God's gift to marketing. Which unfortunately I'm not. Quite. Yet.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:19 pm

God I hate that feeling. I wish people could just be honest and talk about their potential in an interview, but nobody is prepared to take a risk on someone talented but not necessarily a test-taking machine. Nevermind the socially awkward, bullshit "fitting in" tests.

It's really depressing, which is why as you know I prefer selling. It's not like I can walk into an interview and say, "hey look I made all this cool stuff with zero help and then convinced random strangers it was worth money".. ok maybe I could but I would look insane and have some bullshit like "I'm not sure you understood the role of the job" (i.e. bullshit/boring work) or "We don't want to waste your time" or "We're looking for someone to fit into a specific role and this doesn't look like you would enjoy that" etc etc.

The worst ones are the places that claim to look for "entrepreneurial spirit - and you will feel just like you're doing your own projects here", usually creative companies. If you had entrepreneurial spirit, you wouldn't be looking for a job, you'd be creating one, that's literally what that word means. :fp:

Just so much bullshit on top of bullshit, it seriously reminds me of queuing up to be picked for football, and yes I was always picked last. Might have been the best strategist/marketing manager. Or maybe I should design the football, or the shoes. But I'm crap as part of any machination that's just, input/output and no processing. It took me forever to realise my skills don't make sense in almost every job out there.

My last job application like that, took about 3 months and I poured everything into the tests. Their feedback was literally to go the local theatre more in order to be taken seriously. The job was CAD drawing for a major international name.

I'm happy now though because I work with people on their own ideas usually outside of their normal jobs, at the moment it's a line of sportswear. I look forward to being able to look back at stuff that came from nothing and be able to say, "I was there and I was part of what made that possible". Plus people value and listen to your professional opinion. In the traditional workplace, I feel that 90% of feedback up the chain is ignored because nobody wants to implement it - the jobs are financially and time motivated, instead of being focused around job satisfaction. Basically nobody really wants to be doing the work even if they're earning 10 or 100x the people below them are. It's so upside down imo.

I've had interviews where the people doing it obviously didn't want to be there. :lol:

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Moggy » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:23 am

In an attempt to appear human and caring, our directors and management have launched “Forcus, Refocus” day today. It’s going swimmingly.

First we all came in this morning to find a canvas bag on each of our desks, a lovely bag with the company logo on and a load of guff around it about focusing! Exciting!

Inside the bag was a company branded water bottle. Oh stop it! You are spoiling us!

Everyone’s screensaver has been changed (for two weeks only!!) to a “Focus, Refocus!” logo. Amazing stuff and it is not annoying at all that IT strawberry floated it up so that the screensaver comes on every 60 seconds. Whoops!

We also have a little magazine each that is full of interviews with the company directors. Fascinating people, one of them owns a cat! One went on holiday to Maine and HAD NO WI-FI for a week!! One of them likes live music and the last band they saw was Linkin Park!!! One reckons his claim to fame is that in a club in Sheffield in the 80s he kissed “one of the girls” from Human League, he doesn’t even remember her name!!!! Top top bants lads and lasses!

At 11am it was declared we would all get a cupcake each. Except the Bristol office order was strawberry floated up and there are not enough cupcakes for one floor, let alone all 3 floors. It’s ok though, the secretary was sent over to Greggs to buy a load more cakes. I bet she enjoyed focusing (refocusing) on doing that.

Apparently we are getting drinks at 2.30. Oooooo I am quivering with excitement at the thought of having a cheap ass glass of wine in a meeting room.

Anyway enough excitement, I am sure all of this is leading to a big announcement where they will declare that we are all getting decent pay reviews and/or bonuses!

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Rocsteady » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:36 am

Someone's jaded

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:39 am

Focus/refocus, dafuq does that even mean.

I think your management is bored or hiding some kind of mid-life crisis.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Moggy » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:47 am

Green Gecko wrote:Focus/refocus, dafuq does that even mean.

I think your management is bored or hiding some kind of mid-life crisis.


It means this (from an email we received).

This morning you will have received a copy of our FOCUS REFOCUS Magazine in which my management team and I talk about what our four brand characteristics – Client focused; Specialist; Innovative and Personal - mean to us and why we believe they are important. If you haven't already, I encourage you to take a look. You will also see that we have incorporated the key messaging on your desktop (for a limited period only).

We want each of you to understand how embracing these brand characteristics will drive our future success, and to use them to guide the way you work on a day-to-day basis. Over the coming months you will be hearing more about this from me and the management team as we begin the process of embedding these into every aspect of our business. We look forward to sharing examples of individual and team behaviours that demonstrate these characteristics, and how they bring value to our four stakeholders – our people; our clients; our markets and our shareholders.

We want you to own the success of this business – it’s ours to deliver. Be part of this journey with us – be client focused, be specialist, be innovative, be personal. That’s what being part of this team is all about.

This morning you will have received some goodies on your desk and a copy of our FOCUS REFOCUS Magazine in which the management team talk themselves and about our brand characteristics – Personal; Client focused; Innovative and Specialist and our ambition to be the Leading Specialist consultant in the UK.

Please help yourself to cupcakes for 11’s this morning to be found in the kitchen on each floor.


Which was immediately followed by an email about how the 3rd floor ladies toilets are about to be fixed after being out of action for 5 months. They had to get somebody to come from Kent to fix them.

Priorities? :slol:

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:49 am

Yeah man, be the brand. :cool:

Somebody got sold.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by <]:^D » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:58 am

jesus christ that sounds like something out of The Office :fp:

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Rocsteady » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:59 am

Google focus refocus, i think they're priming you all to take part in a similar mystery film

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Frank » Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:24 pm

Moggy wrote:You will also see that we have incorporated the key messaging on your desktop (for a limited period only).


Obviously starting with a confidence that this new rebranding will last.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Moggy » Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:27 pm

Frank wrote:
Moggy wrote:You will also see that we have incorporated the key messaging on your desktop (for a limited period only).


Obviously starting with a confidence that this new rebranding will last.


:lol:

What that meant was the gooseberry fool new screensavers that IT strawberry floated up so that they were coming on every time you left your machine for 60 seconds.

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Tragic Magic
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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Tragic Magic » Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:41 pm

Oh wow, that's hilarious.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Green Gecko » Wed Sep 20, 2017 1:08 pm

Who the hell actually uses the term "key messaging" to staff unless they're in a brandng meeting?

Did they actually copy and paste the minutes from their £1k meeting into an email and send it?

There's branding and then there's corporate communications, they're not the same strawberry floating thing :fp:

People don't want to be a brand, that's for customers. They just want to do their jobs.

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PostRe: The Work Thread
by Squinty » Wed Sep 20, 2017 1:27 pm

That might be the funniest thing Moggy has posted here. I was cringing so hard from reading that.

We get emails from the high up boss in our place that tells us what he has been up to in his personal life. Last week he went to a duck pond.


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