The perfect murder!

PostThe perfect murder! by **Drunken_Master** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:05 am

One of my neighbours is always annoying me, parking his TWO cars next to my house, playing loud music etc. Anyway, enough is enough, and I want the strawberry floater taken out.

Unfortunately, this'll probably result in me going to prison. Unless I committed the PERFECT murder!!!

So, basically I need to know the method, a plan, and how to establish an airtight alibi.

Go!

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Memento Mori** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:07 am

If he actually is murdered, and the police find this thread.....

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Cuttooth** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:08 am

Stab him with an icicle.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Hexx** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:08 am

Use a very sharp icicle as a weapon to stab him with.

It melts and leaves no evidence!

PostRe: The perfect murder! by KK » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:08 am

Fart through his letterbox, then light a match.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Memento Mori** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:08 am

Where do you get one from?

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **abcd** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:09 am

Use a very sharp banana as a weapon to stab him with.

It rotts and leaves a sticky mess.

Petrol through the letter box at night? Wait until you hear the screams, then rush out and try to act like a hero, but really just push them back in if they manage to escape.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Drunken_Master** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:09 am

Hexx wrote:Use a very sharp icicle as a weapon to stab him with.

It melts and leaves no evidence!

Alibi?

Where am I going to get an icicle from?

Where should I stab him?

Details!!!

You'd make a crap criminal.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **the yattering** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:10 am

Iceland??

i know, terrible

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Octoroc** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:10 am

Stab him with a bicycle.

Then ride away dead fast.

Octoroc wrote:Stab him with a bicycle.

Then ride away dead fast.

Yup. Use the forks, Luke.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **abcd** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:11 am

Have you considered magic?

It leaves no milky residue

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Cuttooth** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:12 am

Make a mould of a sharp weapon, put water in it and freeze it.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Jimmy Shedders** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:12 am

Make friends with him

Build up relationship

Turn this relationship into something a bit more serious

Start dating

Have a wonderful time

Go back to his for a "night cap"

When you're about to bum him, shove a massive 30 inch dildo up his arse.

His anus will be ripped apart, and he'll die from internal bleeding

Job done

PostRe: The perfect murder! by KK » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:12 am

Drunken_Master wrote:Where am I going to get an icicle from?

Take the front wheel off.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Drumstick** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:13 am

Use Iago's technique from in Othello; apply the psychological pressure needed into provoking someone else to do it for you.

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Drunken_Master** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:13 am

Cuttooth wrote:Make a mould of a sharp weapon, put water in it and freeze it.

What about forensic evidence?

gooseberry fool, where's Rapper when you need him?

Drunken_Master wrote:
****, where's Rapper when you need him?

Prolly at a P-R-A-TY

PostRe: The perfect murder! by **Cuttooth** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:15 am

Make it an elaborate and ironic murder. Set up something in his home so that the loud music something something something and it blows up his house!

The perfect murder!

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