WWE RAW RESULTS 8/4/14 wrote:
Location: Frank Erwin Center; Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "$9.99" Lawler and John "$9.99" Layfield
The entire Authority made their way out to open RAW. Triple H plugged SummerSlam on the WWE Network. It's available for $9.99 don't you know. Hunter said this could be the biggest SummerSlam in history. Triple H then started running down the card. It's $9.99. He then revealed that tonight on RAW there will be a Beat the Clock Challenge, with Dean Ambrose facing Alberto Del Rio, and Seth Rollins taking on RVD. The one who beats the clock the fastest getting to choose the stipulation for their match at SummerSlam. Stephanie then took the microphone. Crowd booed. She noted she was wearing cowboy boots. Later tonight the Contract Signing between her and Brie Bella will take place. Stephanie said if Brie gets out of line she will slap her so hard she will end up in a hospital bed beside her husband Daniel Bryan. Hunter continued running down the card, this time focussing on John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar. $9.99. Christ, they must be desperate. It was then Randy Orton's turn to discuss his match. I own his suit. He guaranteed to decimate Roman Reigns. Speaking of Reigns, he then interrupted and made his way through the crowd. Someone hugged Reigns in the crowd, the cameras pulling away and focussing on everyone in the ring for an extended amount of time. Reigns said despite the beating last week he was still standing. He vowed to then beat Randy Orton's arse for free...tonight. HHH ordered Reigns to calm down. He announced Reigns will instead face Kane in a Last Man Standing Match...next.
Match 1: Roman Reigns defeated Kane in a passable Last Man Standing match using a Spear. Kane's wig/hair extensions almost fell out. The commentator's meanwhile continued to spend the match re-iterating that the WWE Network is only $9.99. Over...and over...and over again.
There's a fan in the front row of the crowd dressed as Bray Wyatt who looks like Bray Wyatt. There's also a fan that's wearing a WCW Monday Night Jericho shirt from 1998 that got told to sit down by security...twice.
Lights Go Out by Fozzy is one of the official theme tunes for SummerSlam.
In an excellent video/interview feature package, they hyped John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam. Brock Lesnar said that he is an ass kicking son of a bitch who doesn't give two gooseberry fools who he pisses off. He came back to be the WWE Champion and does not give a strawberry float who gets in his way. John Cena meanwhile said he does not want to talk about his successes, rather he feels fortunate to be where he is, and the reason he is where he is at is because he always looks forward. Cena continued that this will be the toughest match of his life. He repeatedly told Brock to 'come get some'. John wants to be the 1 who beat the 1. Lesnar said that if he had never left the WWE John Cena would be at home eating Fruity Pebbles rather than getting paid by them. Lesnar vowed to leave John Cena in a pile of blood, urine, and vomit.
I dunno if you know this or not but the WWE Network is only $9.99.
Boomer Sooner hit...everyone presumably expected Jim Ross. Instead they got Damien Sandow dressed in Oklahoma Sooners football gear. They're in Texas. Sandow then started screaming "Boomer Sooner".
Match 2: Hometown Hero Mark Henry destroyed Damien Sandow with the World Strongest Slam in 1.00. Commentators buried Oklahoma & got in various digs at Jim Ross.
Meanwhile in Vince Russo land, Adam Rose and his Rosebuds were backstage standing in front of the Oculus Mirror. We then got a dream sequence in which Rose looked into the mirror and turned into a 'lemon'...that is to say he was wearing a dull grey suit. Back in reality, they then all trotted off.
They revealed next week is RAW: A Hulk Hogan Birthday Celebration with Special Guests.
Match 3 - BEAT THE CLOCK: Dean Ambrose defeated Alberto Del Rio in 15:42 with Dirty Deeds. Apparently the WWE Network is available for $9.99.
We got a video recapping the last couple of week's programming and ensuing situation between Brie Bella and Stephanie McMahon.
Match 4: In a match that took place during the commercial break, Rusev (w/Lana) squashed Sin Cara in 1:00.
Lana sung Happy Birthday to President Obama in Russian. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter then interrupted. Crowd chanted "USA!" Colter told Lana to shut up as he had had enough of listening to her shrill voice. He said no wonder Russian men drink so much vodka. Colter gets the truck to put up photos of Real Americans like Nick (a guy in a hard hat), Megan (a nurse) and the Military. As Rusev and Lana appeared to be leaving then jumped Swagger with the Russian flag and beat him down. Rusev turned his attention to Colter who was still in the ring...but Lana showed some compassion and led Rusev away.
JBL revealed the WWE Network will be available in the UK on October 1st.
Match 5: Dolph Ziggler pinned Cesaro off the ZigZag in 2:00 (yes, really). Neither of them received an entrance. After the match The Miz, who was on commentary, confronted Ziggler in the ring. Ziggler then attempted to kick the money maker but Miz ducked and dropped to the canvas.
Tom Phillips interviewed Paige backstage. She wished AJ Lee a speedy recovery. Paige said she admires AJ and it's a dream come true to face her idol at SummerSlam.
Match 6: Stardust and Goldust defeated Ryback and Curtis Axel when Stardust planted Curtis Axel with Dark Matter in 3:00.
In the RAW Office, Stephanie and Triple H were going over the contract for later when Kane stormed in. He then took his mask off (explains the dodgy hair earlier) and handed it to Stephanie, before leaving.
WWE Slam of the Week brought to you by Arby's. Think Subway...but with sandwiches. And by the looks of it more cheap, shitty hams.
The show is sponsored by the new Gillette Fusion Pro Glide. Looks like a Dyson. Guess we'll be getting that in a few months, then....
Match 7: Chris Jericho defeated Luke Harper (w/Erik Rowan) by Disqualification in 5:00 when Bray Wyatt ran in and attacked Jericho. Bray then jabbed his thumb into Jericho's neck (think Umaga) and dropped him with Sister Abigail. Per the stipulation however, Luke Harper is also now banned from ringside at SummerSlam.
AJ Lee 'RETURNS' tomorrow night on Main Event.
Match 8: Diego (w/Layla and Summer Rae) defeated Fandango (w/new dance partner Hornwoggle) in 1:00. I don't know how the match ended as I was too distracted by Layla's breasts. She's 37. You'd still marry her tomorrow. After the match Hornswoggle switched allegiances and started dancing with the others. Fandango then grabbed 'swoggle and threw him to the floor. El Torito jumped off the top rope onto Fandango. El Torito straddled Layla on the outside and started riding her. JBL almost said something on commentary but immediately thought better of it.
Randy Orton was interviewed by Renee Young in his locker room. The commentators were blatantly laughing amongst themselves about the prior segment. Orton said Reigns' will need his head on a swivel because he might kick it off.
Match 9: As the rotten wrestling continued, and in a rematch of a rematch, Bo Dallas rolled up R-Truth at 1:00 by using his gear for leverage. After the match R-Truth assaulted Bo Dallas on the outside but was pushed into the steps, allowing Dallas to nail the Bo-Dog off the stairs.
I have a puzzle for you. 9$9.9. See if you can put it together in the correct order.
Bray Wyatt cut a promo on the Tron. Absolutely nothing of note.
They re-aired the entire Brock Lesnar/John Cena package from earlier.
Right after RAW they plugged that they'll be airing John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar from Extreme Rules 2012 on the WWE Network.
RVD made his way out. Justin Roberts then revealed that The Authority had changed the main event to Seth Rollins vs. Heath Slater.
Main Event - BEAT THE CLOCK: Heath Slater rolled up Seth Rollins in 5:00 after Dean Ambrose came out and distracted Rollins by ripping up the Money in the Bank contract from the briefcase, and pouring coke & popcorn into the now empty briefcase. Ambrose then stole JBL's cowboy hat and chucked that into the briefcase too.
Back from commercial, they revealed Dean Ambrose will announce the stipulation for his match at SummerSlam on SmackDown.
They re-aired highlights from Cena and Lesnar's Extreme Rules 2012 match.
There was a table set up in the ring as Stephanie McMahon and Triple H made their way out for the Contract Signing. Brie Bella then made her way out with her sister Nikki. Triple H said you can get the WWE Network for $9.99 and watch the historic match between Brie Bella and his wife Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie asked Brie if her puny, hippie-dippie husband was still recovering. They re-aired Stephanie getting arrested. Brie told Stephanie that she was going to embarrass her for the likes of Vickie Guerrero, Big Show, the Rhodes Family, and everyone else on the roster they have tortured week after week. Both women signed the contract. Stephanie said that she was going to tear Brie’s heart out at SummerSlam. Stephanie then blindsided Nikki with the contract case. Triple H then pushed the table back, trapping Brie in the corner. With Brie having no option but to watch on, Stephanie Pedigreed Nikki. Brie slapped Triple H in the face, who sold it like he'd just been shot. Stephanie, immediately coming to the aid of her husband, smashed Brie's face into the table and Pedigreed her too. Stephanie and Triple H then made out in the ring, before celebrating to take RAW off the air!
Our best bits.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW RESULTS 8/11/14 wrote:
Location: Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John “Bermuda” Layfield
So, here we are then. After 12 years - 16 since the scratch design first debuted - this is the final RAW before WWE gets a brand new logo. Truly, an end of an era. A small fact for you: The first RAW of the WWE era on May 6, 2002 featured an nWo main event, Undertaker's motorcycle hilariously failing to start, and then later on Hulk Hogan running it over with a truck. This would later lead to one of the all-time worst main events in company history at Judgment Day. So what better and a more fitting way to close out this portion of WWE than with...the nWo and Hulk Hogan. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Monday Night RAW: Hulk Hogan’s Birthday Celebration Special exploded onto the air with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman making their way out to the ring. They have red and yellow birthday presents on the stage ready for Hogan later. Heyman said before he brings his dissertation, he wants to give us all a taste of what he does. He sells us on major events. If he has to come out here and explain the history-making beating that John Cena will suffer at SummerSlam, we are all missing the point. Bad things happen to good people when you step in the ring with Brock Lesnar. Heyman had the truck put up images of Brock defeating the Undertaker at WrestleMania. If you were a fan of the Undertaker, we wouldn’t have missed WrestleMania. When Brock was a rookie, he got his hands on Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Brock beat The Rock and he was out of action for 6 to 8 months. When Brock was a rookie, when he was done with Hulk Hogan, he was gone for a year. If Hogan came back for revenge, there would not be a birthday celebration happening tonight. Therefore if we are a fan of John Cena, don’t miss SummerSlam. When Cena says ‘You Can’t See Me’, he isn't lying. When Brock gets done with John Cena, we aren’t going to see him around any more. Paul noted that when Lesnar got his hands on John Cena before, while John may have won the match, John will tell you that he lost the fight. The beating that Brock laid down on John Cena is something that needs to be addressed. When John got his tainted victory, Brock will not make any excuses. Brock was still battling diverticulitis. That Brock was only at 50% and still laid down a beating that John couldn’t get up from doesn't bode well for SummerSlam, where Brock will be at 100%. The beating that John Cena will face will be like that of a Shakespearean tragedy. Heyman said that his client wants us all to know that this is Brock’s house now. And on Sunday, it will be Brock’s title. His client has already conquered the WWE Universe. That means that we are his servants. This ring is Brock’s home. If we will excuse him, he is taking 'the man of the house' out to dinner. John Cena has something to say and there is a birthday celebration for Hulk Hogan, but when 'the man of the house' is done eating dinner, he is coming back home.
The announcers plugged the Network at only $9.99! JBL held up the paper $9.99 in front of Cole's face as it "worked out so well last week".
Happy Birthday Hulk: Flo Ride and "Weird Al" Yankovic wished Hulk Hogan a happy birthday in pre-taped messages.
Roman Reigns was shown taping up in his locker room.
A returning Director of Operations Kane made his way onto the stage. He revealed that "6 weeks before SummerSlam", before quickly correcting himself to 6 days (crowd got on his back for that) Roman Reigns would be competing tonight, per The Authority's orders, in a 2-1 Handicap match.
Match 1: Roman Reigns vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel ended in Disqualification when Reigns was repeatedly ran into the ring post on the outside and the referee rang for the bell. After the match Axel and Ryback put the beating on Reigns but he quickly made a comeback and flattened both of them with Superman punches, followed by a Spear.
WWE and Sky Sports momentarily put up the WWE App stream during the ad break...but then turned it off in favour of commercials.
Renee Young interviewed Roman Reigns in the ring. He embraced the "Roman" chants filling the building, before asking Portland if it looks like he is ready for SummerSlam. He said that Randy accused him recently of stealing something from him. Reigns said he has never stolen anything, but at SummerSlam he will take everything from Randy Orton. Roman asked what is a Viper when it has its fangs knocked down its throat: it is a worthless little worm.
Backstage, Kane walked into Randy Orton. Orton vowed to do what Ryback, Curtis Axel, and "The Demon" couldn't. In preparation for his match against Roman Reigns on Sunday, Kane told Orton he would face Sheamus (snore) later.
"Stephanie's Confession" was billed for later, as was an already conducted one-on-one interview between Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho.
Match 2: Seth Rollins defeated RVD in 8:00 with the Curb Stomp. After the match, Seth Rollins apparently felt the presence of Dean Ambrose in one of Hulk Hogan's presents on the stage. After gingerly investigating, he decided he was simply being paranoid. As he was leaving Dean Ambrose then suddenly burst out and attacked Rollins. As they brawled back down the ramp and into the ring, Rollins was clotheslined right back out, allowing him to make his escape through the crowd. "And for $9.99 I'm going to get more than my money's worth" Ambrose claimed on the microphone. God, this is coming across so desperately forced now.
Stephanie McMahon was shown grinning, making her way backstage towards the ring.
Stephanie McMahon came out. She said as principal owner, her mission is to always do what is best for the WWE Universe and Superstars; sometimes they receive information that could negatively impact superstars lives so therefore need to intervene. Stephanie said that Bryan has been aggressively rehabbing, so she would like to introduce his physical therapist. She then revealed she was in the arena watching from the crowd. God, this has a whiff of Claire Lynch about it already. Christ, she looks just like her. Meghan Miller nervously made her way into the ring. Stephanie said that Meghan was the victim and had something to confess. Meghan said she had really got to know both of them. Crowd chanted "What?". Megan claimed she and her boyfriend have had dinner numerous times with both Brie and Bryan. Meghan, growing upset, then STUNNED THE WORLD by revealing she and Daniel Bryan have been partaking in an affair. With my TV now steaming from the amount of hot gooseberry fool being pumped out of it, Brie Bella then stormed to the ring. Stephanie said the wife is always the last one to find out. She said Meghan had told her that Bryan had said Brie was a "dead fish" in the bedroom. Meghan nodded in agreement. Brie lost it and slapped Meghan across the face, dropping her to the corner. Brie then tackled Stephanie to the canvas, attempting to apply the Yes! Lock. Agents ran down and pulled Brie off. Clutching her arm, Stephanie grabbed the microphone and said they're not waiting till SummerSlam...instead they're going to do it TONIGHT!
Happy Birthday Hulk: Drew Brees, AJ Hawk and Aaron Rodgers wished Hogan a happy birthday.
Match 3: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) tapped out Cesaro with the Ankle Lock in 12:00. After the match, Rusev came out and they all waved their cocks about.
In a pre-tape, Michael Cole conducted an interview with Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho. Well, I say conducted...Bray told Michael to bugger off within the first 20 seconds. Bray's mouth moved and WORDS came out. Chris says that he is not a saviour, but after 15 years in the WWE, he has become a survivor. When you are a survivor, you don’t know what face you are going to get from him. Jericho said he cannot promise which Jericho we will see at SummerSlam, but he will follow the buzzards and shove them down Bray’s throat, therefore becoming the first person in the WWE to leave Bray speechless.
Match 4: Eva Marie defeated Divas' Champion AJ Lee with a roll-up at 1:00 in a non-title match when Paige skipped around ringside distracting AJ. On the stage, Paige recited a poem. "Roses are red, wood chips are beige, I'm sorry I pushed you right off the stage. It's not like I hate you, it's just that you have a face I just want to punch...I'll be skipping my way out of SummerSlam with my Divas' title". Afterwards, AJ Lee beat up Eva Maria, who was inexplicably still at ringside, to near enough complete silence.
John Cena was shown backstage heading towards the ring.
The Usos' Tag Team Championship Open Challenge announced for tomorrow night's Main Event.
WWE Champion John Cena, both championships still draped around his neck, made his way out. Yet another new shirt. Cena opened by mocking Paul Heyman with "My name is John Cena and I am to be maimed and conquered by Brock Lesnar...that is if you believe Paul Hayman." Cena said one thing Lesnar will not do is win, because for him to win Lesnar will have to make him lose, and he ain't laying down for Brock Lesnar.
Cena said we can take that however we want, but the fact is Lesnar doesn't deserve the WWE Championship. Cena said he will lose the title one day, but not this Sunday. Lesnar doesn't give a damn about anybody else, as he is the most selfish S.O.B to ever walk in the locker room and every Superstar knows it. Cena said he has heard the cheers, and the boos; been told he can't wrestle (some of the crowd naturally told him he can't wrestle); he's heard 'Lets go Cena', and 'Cena Sucks'. Crowd also obliged him there by telling him he sucks. But he said that every week he comes out with a smile on his face. Lots of fans ask 'When will Cena turn', 'when does Cena stop being about the T-Shirts and K-Mart shoes'. When does Cena unleash hell? Well this Sunday he fights a beast and this Sunday we will see a Cena we have never seen before. Paul Heyman told us earlier that Lesnar thinks that this is his house, but the fact is this house will always belong to us, the fans. But for the sake of gamesmen-ship, if it is Lesnar's house then there's a stranger standing in his living room, therefore he needs to try come down and kick him out. I'm "In Your House". Would have been well and good if that PPV was still on the strawberry floating air, John. Cena then joked that maybe Lesnar has come down with a case of "Punk-bitch-itis". Cena asked Lesnar to start with his fingers as he has too many and he's giving Lesnar the middle one. Crowd now chanted "Cena". He vowed to make history and conquer the conqueror.
Brie was shown heading towards the ring. Well, this ain't happening...
Happy Birthday Hulk: Larry King & Florida Georgia Line
Brie Bella made her way out for the match against Stephanie. Steph then came out and revealed Claire Ly...Meghan Miller had decided to press charges for the slap to the face. 2 plain clothes police officers turned up, handcuffed her, read Brie - who was now crying - her rights, and then carted her off up the ramp and to the back. Stephanie said that should Brie make bail, she will see her at SummerSlam.
Miz came out for commentary, stood atop the announce table the entire time. JBL briefly did us all a favour by accidentally unplugging Miz's headset.
Match 5: Heath Slater defeated Zolph Ziggler via Count Out when The Miz got involved and Ziggler then chased and beat him up around ringside. After the match, Heath Slater went to shake Ziggler's hand but then attempted a cheap kick to the gut. Ziggler counted and put him down with the Zig Zag.
McDonald's put on better birthday's than this.
Roman Reigns is on MizTV on SmackDown, so a nice heads-up by WWE there to avoid that show this coming Friday. That's Friday. Make a note in your calendar or something.
Main Event: Oh why do I have to sit through this again for crying out loud...urgh...in a match initially fought in front of mass apathy, but picking up steam in the closing 5 minutes, Randy Orton pinned Sheamus. Sheamus was going for a flying Shoulder Tackle off the top rope but Orton caught him in mid air with an RKO for the victory.
All the Superstars were on the ramp for Hogan's birthday, as the announcers hyped a special programme on the Network following RAW for John Cena vs. Lesnar. This will be like one of those UFC jobs I believe.
Mean Gene and Jimmy Hart were in the ring to introduce Hulk Hogan. A special video package then aired looking back at his entire life, accompanied to the soundtrack of "Forever Young".
Gene joked we could be here all night. Hogan said this is possibly the first time he has ever been speechless, though maybe he can muscle something up..."Well you know something Mean Gene". Hogan said that even that nasty old Vince McMahon had given him a present: a birthday card with a certain amount of money in there...$9.99. He wanted to make sure Hogan was subscribed to the WWE Network. Hogan said this has been the greatest night in his entire career. He thanked all the superstars on the stage...even Pat Patterson, to laughs. Hogan said Hulkamania is a two way street, so hopefully he has touched our lives just a little bit. None other than Ric Fair's music hit, with the Nature Boy coming out. This is turning into WCW appreciation night. Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff followed, once again sporting an amazing handle bar moustache. Roddy Piper then made his way out. New...New...New...World Order. Well okay, that bit was sadly lacking, but nevertheless out strolled Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. "Hey Yo". Hall said The Ousiders were both honoured to be at RAW to show some love. Hall then went through his survey routine, asking the crowd how many came to see Hogan in the Red and Yellow or the Black and White. Hogan tore his shirt off to reveal an nWo one underneath. "One more for the good guys." Nevin Nash said he was going to do something that he had never done before...he started singing Happy Birthday. Brock Lesnar suddenly interrupted and stormed his way into the ring alongside Paul Heyman. Heyman asked Hogan "Whatcha gonna do". Lesnar told Hogan that 'the party is over Grandpa'. John Cena bombed down the ailse to make the save. After teasing a confrontation, Lesnar instead just smirked and backed off out of the ring. They revealed Hulk Hogan's birthday celebrations and Monday Night RAW will continue exclusively on the WWE Network, having completely exhausted all TV time on this over-run.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW RESULTS 8/18/14 wrote:
Location: Thomas and Mack Center; Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Less than 24 Hours removed from SummerSlam, Stephanie McMahon kicked off a new-look, and a new era, of Monday Night RAW, coming out to Daniel Bryan's theme music and mockingly shouting "Steph! Steph! Steph!". The WWE Signature/DOG is now in the right corner of the screen rather than the left. The WWE sign on the stage has been replaced, along with the turnbuckle covers, ring apron curtain, on-screen graphics (which are a bit Cyber Sunday in nature), and microphone cover. The LED graphic on the stage is also new. The Twitter # is now also slightly bigger in the top left. Stephanie said that they have been monitoring social media and people are saying that SummerSlam was maybe even better than WrestleMania. Some of the crowd booed. She said that The Authority will be presenting the new championship belt to Brock Lesnar later. Steph then wished John Cena a quick recovery, despite not knowing how John Cena will ever recover from such a beating. Chris Jericho meanwhile had to recover from the lesson in humility from Bray Wyatt, and Dean Ambrose learned that Seth Rollins was the man who led The Shield. But the biggest loser of the night was her opponent, Brie Bella. She learned first hand you do not mess with The Authority. Not mentally, emotionally, or physically. She said you can relieve all these great moments on the WWE Network for just $9.99. Stephanie said that she could not have done it alone, thanking her rock, the man who stands by her side, and is forever faithful, Triple H...unlike Daniel Bryan, who cheated on Brie because he found out who she really was. Stephanie then brought out Nikki Bella, who become the victim of the ramp when she got her heel trapped in it and then had to take it off and put it back on. In the ring, they forgot to turn Nikki's microphone on. She said Brie is selfish; ever since kids it has always been about Brie. Crowd were chanting "What?". Nikki said she was so sick of hearing about how she was never going to get married or never going to have a husband. The acting and interplay between Stephanie and Nikki here was bloody atrocious. Nikki said that Brie married a goat faced, scraggly Daniel Bryan. They noted that Daniel has clearly been cheating on his wife Brie. Nikki said she was heartbroken, as Brie has mistreated her her entire life. But now she stands tall on her own two feet. Nikki said she could a say that she lost a sister but then she never really had one to begin with. "Free, free, and it feels so damn good". Brie Bella than walked out. Crowd swapping "What?" for "YES!". Brie asked her sister why she was doing this. Brie said Nikki has destroyed their family but she can still forgive her for last night. Nikki then slapped her sister in the face and screamed that she would never forgive her for anything. Brie then burst into tears and walked off crying. Crowd chanted "You sold out!".
They announced Big Show and Mark Henry will team later to take on Erik Rowan and Luke Harper. The comedy of errors continued as they put up a graphic for WWE Superstars.
The German announce team are now at ringside.
Match 1: Big Show and Mark Henry defeated Erik Rowan and Luke Harper in 12:00 when Big Show nailed Erik with a Knock-Out punch and Mark Henry followed it up with the World's Strongest Slam for the pin.
They announced that, in a rematch from last night's SummerSlam, Dolph Ziggler will defend his newly won Intercontinental Championship against The Miz.
In 6 man tag team action RVD, Sheamus and Roman Reigns will team to face Randy Orton, Curtis Axel and Ryback later tonight.
Ric Flair was with Dolph Ziggler backstage when The Miz walked in. Miz told Ziggler not to get too comfortable with the championship as he doesn't deserve it; the title soon coming back to an "A-lister". Ziggler replied that Miz isn't 'an A-lister...just an A-Hole'. Ric Flair went "Wooooo!" & fist-bumped Ziggler. The Intercontinental Championship now has the new logo on it, but is otherwise the same.
They recapped Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins from SummerSlam with stills of the action.
Renee Young interviewed Seth Rollins backstage. Rollins said that last night he did what he told the entire universe he was going to do; he didn't run or hide, he proved that he is not only the future World Champion, but the future of the WWE. Dean Ambrose then appeared behind him and chucked a load of ice cold water all over him. "What, it's for charity". Ambrose than chucked the empty bucket into his face and jumped him...agents and officials finally running in to pull the two men apart. Rollins screamed Ambrose 'was done'.
In the RAW office Triple H and Kane were having a discussion when Seth Rollins barged in, demanding that they've got to put Ambrose down and take him out of the equation for good. Triple H responded by making a rematch with Dean ambrose later tonight, with the WWE Universe deciding the stipulations. When Rollins finishes the job, the blood will be on our hands. Kane wished him luck.
Paige cut a short promo saying she respects and loves AJ, and is dedicating her next match to "My little AJ".
Match 2: Natalya (sporting new ring attire) defeated WWE Divas' Champion Paige in a non-title match when AJ Lee came out and skipped around ringside, distracting Paige and allowing her to get rolled up by Natalya.
After the match AJ Lee grabbed a microphone and, copying Paige from earlier, said she also respects her, loves her, and dedicates her entire life to Paige. Lee then said she wanted to get in the ring and shake Paige by the hand. Paige quickly scarpered. Crowd meanwhile broke out into a "CM Punk" chants
The announcers revealed the options for the WWE App fan voting for Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins; those being No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, or No Disqualification, presumably leaving everyone watching thinking 'why strawberry floating bother?'.
Announcers flogged the Network for $9.99.
King Of Kings hit and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon - now wearing a dress - made their way to the ring for the new WWE Championship presentation. The new belt was in the ring under a red cloth. Triple H said we witnessed a match last night that will go down as an instant classic. 2 men stood in the ring and gave everything they had to represent the company into the future, and it was their honour to show the brand new symbol of that future: the brand new world heavyweight title. It's pretty much the same as the last one, but the WWE logo is bigger and they've removed the big "CHAMPION" writing underneath, making it look less tacky. Hunter then introduced Lesnar to the ring.
Brock Lesnar, accompanied by Paul Heyman, came out grinning from ear to ear. All 4 of them posed with the new belt, as a photographer got in the ring for a photo op. They posed on each side of the ring. Crowd chanted "Lesnar". JBL called the crowd bandwagon hoppers who'll cheer for whoever is victorious these days. This sounded like a McMahon fed line. Heyman said last night his client didn't just beat, but conquered the title holder, which affords him the opportunity to plant himself as the advocate for the reigning, defending, and undisputed champion Brock Lesnar. Heyman said his client has authorised him tor reveal a secret that even The Authority may not want revealed: John Cena is not on RAW because, while he would be here if he could be, he isn't because he can't physically appear and that's all because of Brock Lesnar. Lesnar said he loves when Heyman says his name. Heyman said he has never seen an ass kicking like he saw last night. Not just any top superstar, but the top superstar of an entire generation. In comparison The Rock's run was maybe 3/3 and a half years. Steve Austin - receiving a big pop - 4 years. There has been one constant, one main eventer, and one man in WWE for the last ten years and that man is John Cena. Any other man would have turned the title over to lesnar after 30 seconds. But not Cena. Paul said once he saw the suffering on Cena's face last night, but he could never understand what so many fans see in him. Even his children are John Cena fans, and it pisses him off. When Cena says 'Never Give Up,' he means it. Heyman said Cena has earned his respect at SummerSlam, and if he had the time he would love to make Cena "a Paul Heyman guy". Unfortunately Lesnar doesn't share these opinions. Cena walked in a hero and left a martyr. In Lesnar's world, the one who dies with the most street cred still dies. Just like Undertaker's undefeated career and undefeated streak died. Cena's stupid motto of 'Hustle, Loyalty and Respect' died. Here's the problem, the same fate awaits anyone else that tries to take the championship. The same beatings awaits, which makes every title defence a must see. Heyman said to those too ignorant or too cheap to spend $9.99 on the WWE Network, he was going to tell everyone what happened (genuine company viewpoint shining through there): Suplex repeat. He then said it over and over 16 times. Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat. Eat, sleep, F5 repeat. And so on and so forth...Heyman closed with "Eat, Sleep, Conquer John Cena".
They re-aired the conclusion to the opening segment with Brie and Nikki.
Match 3: In a rematch from last night, The Miz defeated Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler via Count-Out. After the match an angry Miz then beat up Ziggler, but Ziggler managed to counter and lay out Miz with the Zig Zag.
Renee Young interviewed Jack Swagger backstage. Swagger said that last night he had a chance to defend the country he loves and he failed. However when things get hard, Americans join together. Swagger vowed to do what every Real American does when their backs are against the wall and that's to come out fighting.
Night of Champions next month is sponsored by Mountain Dew Diet. Fat bastards everywhere love it.
Match 4: Yes, it's this match again. Cesaro (who didn't receive any entrance) pinned Jack Swagger with the Neutraliser in 4:00. Swagger was selling his taped up ribs.
Bo Dallas then interrupted on the stage. He told Swagger that he had let down 318 million people last night at SummerSlam losing to Rusev. And here he was losing again. He told Swagger that he has now lost his manager Zeb Colter, all his self respect, and his dignity. But he can get it all back. All he has to do is BO-LIEVE!
Renee Young interviewed Chris Jericho backstage. Chris said he realised that after facing dozens of WWE Hall of Famers, he has never faced anyone like Bray Wyatt. He noted the upside down spider walk that Bray does is one of the most disturbing things he has ever seen. There is an emptiness inside Bray Wyatt; when Bray said that he was already dead, he is dead inside. In comparison, Chris said, is that he isn't. He has 3 things: the fire inside him to be the best in the world at what he does; the fighting spirit; and he still has the best fans in WWE history. He knows that every Jericholic will be behind him no matter what he does, who will carry on chanting "Y2J!", and that is something nobody can ever take away from him.
Big Show vs. Erik Rowan was announced for WWE Main Event.
Match 5: RVD, Sheamus and Seth Rollins defeated Randy Orton, Ryback and Curtis Axel in enjoyable 6 man action when RVD pinned Curtis Axel off the Five Star Frog Splash at 12:00. Ryback was in his hometown and therefore massively over with the Live crowd.
Randy Orton was walking backstage with an ice pack on his neck when Ric Flair approached him. Randy demanded Flair stay out of his way unless he wants reminding why they used to call him the Legend Killer.
Bray Wyatt interrupted on the Tron. He said a pale horse had cometh for Chris Jericho,the rider none other than Wyatt himself. He said he told Jericho this would happen as he is a man of his word. Jericho will never be able to truly comprehend what he is. "Follow the buzzards"
We got another recap of the opening segment.
Match 6: Goldust and Stardust defeated Tag Team Champions The Uso Brothers in a non-title outing at 6:00.
Randy Orton vs. RVD was revealed for SmackDown.
Rusev and Lana came out. Lana cut a promo saying Putin was very happy with their victory last night. Mark Henry interjected. Henry said that he had the honour of representing the USA twice in the Olympic Games, and those will always be 2 of his proudest moments in his life. He never had a problem with anyone who believes in their country or their flag, except for right now and the 2 jackasses in the ring. Lana was appalled. Mark said what really got under his skin was watching the flag raised last night in his country. It made him sick to his stomach. While Rusev and Lana may say the power in America has gone, he doesn't believe so. Rusev and Henry looked at each other face-to-face, Rusev getting the cheap shot in on Henry. Henry quickly fought back, planting Rusev with the World’s Strongest Slam. With Rusev down he followed it up with a Splash. Henry went over and high fived the announcers, putting on JBL’s hat and celebrating with the fans.
Next week John Cena returns and addresses the WWE Universe.
In the ring Jerry Lawler revealed the pointless results of the WWE App vote. 41% voted for Falls Counts Anywhere.
Main Event: Seth Rollins defeated Dean Ambrose via referee stoppage in an excellent wild and crazy brawl that concluded with Dean Ambrose receiving the Curb Stomp through cinder blocks, which Kane had conveniently hidden beside the time keepers area. During the match Rollins hit a running Power Bomb on Ambrose onto a pile of chairs in the ring.
After the match EMT's checked on Ambrose, the commentators questioning whether we'll ever see Ambrose again, as Kane raised Rollins' hand in victory atop the announce table to take RAW off the air. They have a new closing graphic.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
RAW Results 8/25/14 wrote:
Location: Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Monday Night RAW opened with Michael Cole in the ring, to introduce the first ever "Hall of Fame Forum". They had an announce table set up in the ring. Hulk Hogan came out first, followed by Ric Flair, and finally Shawn Michaels. Michaels' said Cena's chances aren't good because it simply ain't happening. Every man in his career has come to a cross roads where they have to make a decision, and Cena is at that point in his career. Hogan chimed in that Cena can still go. Flair said Cena is 'the franchise', but he doesn't want Cena up against Lesnar at NOC. Hogan said he has got to know Cena on a close level, and his "Hustle, Loyalty, Respect" slogan isn't just a marketing gimmick, it's the real thing. Michaels said everyone likes Cena (to boos), but Cena hasn't got a chance. Hogan said Cena found a way to win at Extreme Rules, and at Night of Champions it's the rubber match...and Cena will find a way to win. As Michaels and Hogan argued, John Cena's music struck and out he strolled. He said everyone is talking about what he should do, and what is supposedly going through his mind. Cena noted he has huge respect for the men in the ring; if there was no Hulk Hogan, there would be no John Cena. He said at NOC he will bring the fight to Brock Lesnar, and while Shawn and Flair have their doubts, this will be the biggest night of his career. He will not go to Night of Champions to beat Brock Lesnar, but rather to kick Brock’s ass. Considering the star power this was an utterly pointless segment.
They revealed Stardust and Goldust will challenge for the WWE Tag Team Championship later tonight against The Uso's.
Match 1: In a rematch from SummerSlam, Rusev (w/Lana) defeated Jack Swagger at 13:00 by referee stoppage after Rusev refused to stop stomping on Swagger's ribs. Crowd really got into the match in the second half, the finish then immediately souring the mood.
The German announce table has vanished.
Jerry Lawler will moderate a "family reconciliation" between the Bella twins later tonight.
In the trainers room, Swagger was being checked on when Bo Dallas walked in. He told Swagger that he had let his country down again, and if he wanted to succeed all he had to do was Bo-Lieve. Swagger sat there seething.
Sheamus was on commentary.
Match 2: Cesaro pinned RVD with the Neutraliser in 4:00 to become the new Number 1 Contender for the United States Championship. After the match Cesaro took the US title away from Sheamus and then threw it in his face. Sheamus laughed it off.
The Attitude Era Week begins on the WWE Network next week, along with the first 100 hours of WCW Monday Nitro ('95-96).
Match 3: WWE Divas' Champion Paige defeated Natalya with the Paige Turner in a non-title outing at 3:00. After the match AJ Lee skipped down, distracting Paige and allowing Natalya to level her with a clothesline. AJ Lee then took the microphone and told Paige that she knows she is sincere, but not as sincere as her. AJ kissed Paige on the hand and then skipped around her.
Seth Rollins Eulogy of Dean Ambrose. Kane was also out. Seth Rollins said that he was the one who created The Shield, and he was the one who ultimately destroyed it. Roman Reigns ended up coming through the crowd and destroying them and all the junk in the ring.
Match 4: Stardust and Goldust defeated The Uso Brothers via Count-Out, therefore the Uso's retained the Tag Team Championship. Goldust grabbed the microphone and said it wasn't going down like that, this being their one opportunity at the belts. Goldust demanded a rematch right away. Turning heel, Stardust and Goldust then assaulted The Uso's, smashing Jey's injured leg into the ring post.
In the RAW office Seth Rollins was losing the plot. He told Kane that they needed to do something about Roman Reigns sticking his nose into their business. Kane revealed Reigns would have to face the both of them later in the night.
In a pretape, Brock Lesnar cut a promo on John Cena interspersed with video of Extreme Rules and SummerSlam. Lesnar vowed that Night of Champions would be Cena's last night in his universe.
Seth Rollins vs RVD was announced for Main Event tomorrow.
The Miz came out and cut a promo on the stage. He said he went to Disneyland and was whisked straight to the front. Just one of the perks of being a Hollywood movie star. Another perk is having your own stunt double. Miz then introduced the man playing the part of himself in this match: "Stunt double Damien Mizdow". Miz then went and inserted himself on commentary.
Match 5: In a non-title match, Dolph Ziggler pinned Damien Mizdow in 2:00 with the ZigZag.
Jerry Lawler was in the ring. He said one of the most shocking moments at SummerSlam was when Nikki turned on her sister Brie. They then recapped last week's RAW segment. Lawler continued that as nobody likes to see a family torn apart, hopefully tonight will be the start of a reconciliation. Nikki Bella made her way out first. Two chairs were in the ring. She pulled one away to make a bigger gap between the two of them. Brie then came out. Nikki said that Brie couldn't even get her own entrance music. Brie said she could have it. Brie said she knows her feelings are hurt but forget everything as whatever she thinks, she is sorry. Nikki said Brie is talking crap. Brie has always wanted the spotlight and never really cared about her. It was always about Brie. Something about ultra sounds and holding hands...a fantasy of twins us fans are too fat and ugly to have. Isn't that incest...Brie Bella apparently stole all Nikki's boyfriends. Brie, upset, said it was all lies.
I don't care. You don't care. The acting is awful. The crowd is dead. Brie attempted to cry. Failed. Lawler tried to intervene but Nikki screamed for the "old man" to leave the ring. "I wish you died in the womb!" Nikki told her sister. She then yanked Brie off the chair and beat her up. Jerry Lawler pulled Nikki off. A few in the crowd chanted "Jerry!". Lawler was slapped in the face but the camera missed it. Nikki screamed that Brie was dead to her. Where's John Cena in all of this again...Brie was left crying in the ring, consoled by Uncle Jerry. They replayed Lawler getting slapped.
Match 6: Seth Rollins and Corporate Kane vs. Roman Reigns ended in Disqualification after about 2 minutes of insipid action when Reigns was nailed with the Big Gold Briefcase by Rollins. Kane and Rollins then went to work dismantling Reigns on the outside. Kane then revealed the cinder blocks, in the exact same place as last week. Superman Punch to Seth Rollins. Kane was bounced off the ring post and sent into the time keepers area. Reigns then picked up one of the blocks. Rollins begged off. Reigns threw the cinder block, Rollins ducking, it then exploding off the post...a big piece apparently almost hitting Lawler at the table, Cole immediately asking Lawler if he was okay. Thankfully, he was.
Bray Wyatt cut a promo on the Tron.
Mark Henry and Big Show to face Erik and the other one on SmackDown.
Match 7: Los Matadores (w/El Torito) beat Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil with a backslide on Slater.
Another recap of the opening segment. Bastards.
Match 8: Bo Dallas pinned Kofi Kingston in just over a minute with a botched Bo-Dog. Crowd knew it and booed. Swagger then turned up and beat him up...to more boos.
They revealed Randy Orton will be a guest on The Highlight Reel next week on RAW.
Main Event: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt (w/The Family) ended in Disqualification after 4:00 when all and sundry ran in. Bastards. Mark Henry and Big Show than ran down to make the save. During the match Cena hit multiple German Suplexes, sending a message to Lesnar.
Main Event 2: John Cena, Big Show and Mark Henry defeated The Wyatt Family when John Cena tapped out Luke Harper with the STF. He then AA'ed Erik Rowan. And then Bray Wyatt for good measure. And then Luke Harper was on the receiving end of an AA as well. Crowd legitimately booed him out of the building.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 1 2014 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Chris Jericho was in the ring to kick off proceedings on Monday Night RAW, which is their final week before Monday Night NFL returns - with a double header no less - to kick their backside. Crowd chanted "Y2J". "Welcome to RAW. Is. Jericho". "I'm bored already" was JBL's immediate response. Vince must be in a surly mood. Before Jericho could introduce Randy Orton, The "King of Kings" hit and out strolled The Authority: Triple H, Seth Rollins, Corporate Kane and Randy Orton. Chris said that he expected to see Randy Orton come out by himself, and not with his new law firm of: Suck Up, Sell Out, and Schnozz (meaning, presumably, Triple H's big hooter). Triple H fired back that Jericho's the guy that never grew up, both figuratively and literally. Jericho retorted that Hunter doesn't conduct business in the ring unless his wife is getting put in jail. Hunter took a jibe at Jericho's clothes. Jericho then criticised HHH's pink tie. "It's violet Nimrod" was Hunter's response to that. Triple H said that Jericho should b thanking him for making this the most historic Highlight Reel in history, as he has been reviewing the John Cena and Lesnar situation & come to the conclusion that the rematch might not be 'best for business' after all, instead contemplating a new Number 1 contender for Night of Champions. Jericho, mocking surprise, then sarcastically said 'you mean you can only get the WWE Network for just $9.99?'. Jericho questioned, despite already having granted Cena the rematch, who was now going to get title shot? Randy Orton interjected and said only one man can beat Lesnar, and he has earned everything he has gotten. Kane said maybe it needs to be someone that puts on a mask and unleashes a demon incarnate. Seth Rollins then spoke up, saying the future has already arrived. JBL then decided this was the opportune moment to bury Seth Rollins hair. Jericho suggested that they give the shot to a 6 time champion, the first Undisputed Champion in the WWE. This brought out Mr Grumpy Pants John Cena (makes a change). Crowd booed him. Cena questioned what the hell Hunter was talking about. Cena said just because his best friends Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels don't think he can beat him doesn't mean he won't. Those 2 guys didn't think he could beat Triple H at WrestleMania 22 but he made Triple H tap out, and if he's forgotten he can watch it again on the WWE Network for $9.99. Cena said he doesn't care how many Hall of Famers HHH talks to, he invoked his rematch clause, and Hunter authorised it. Cena said he will take Triple H to court, take all his money, then he will be COO of the company and then he'll look Hunter in the eye and tell him he's fired. Therefore he needs to save himself a headache, and his job, as he's going to beat Lesnar's ass. "Wow. All I can say is wow. So this is where's you're at with this? You're going to sue? That's a new shirt I think. Hustle, loyalty, respect, lawsuit.". Hunter continued that while Cena may be small minded like everyone else, he knows what his job entails. No matter what, he always does what is best for business, and he doesn't think John Cena as champion is what is best for business any more. Cena's career ending at the hands of Lesnar isn't good for business either. Rollins said he should let Cena have the rematch as what's the worst that could happen? And should an opportunity present itself, there is always plan B, Rollins' looking towards the briefcase. Orton then said Cena had earned it. He then asked whatever happened to his rematch from all the way back at WrestleMania. John Cena retorted that Orton has already had 4000 title matches since, and succeeded in a grand total of never. In fact the last match he had he got Superman Punched and Speared by Roman Reigns. Orton replied that Reigns beating him at SummerSlam meant nothing, and if he was in the ring right now he'd drop the piece of crap right where he stood. Cena said that if Orton proceeds to make a joke of him he won't like the punchline. This then brought out Roman Reigns through the crowd. He asked Orton to drop him. 'Just like I thought, all talk'. He said Rollin's looked pretty pissed that he almost had his skull crushed with a cinder block last week. Reigns said if all talk is about the WWE Championship though, then he belongs in that mix. Triple H said it sounds like everybody feels like they deserve to be champion, therefore he revealed everyone is going to be given an opportunity to prove themselves tonight in 6 man tag action. Jericho, John Cena, and Roman Reigns teaming to face Corporate Kane, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins in the main event. Hunter said he'll be sitting at ringside watching. Rollins then tried to attack Reigns with the briefcase but it was countered by Reigns, Rollins sent to the outside with an upper cut. Reigns then chucked the briefcase at Rollins. Long segment, if you hadn't already noticed.
There's a sign in the crowd which reads "I could be at home watching Nitro".
They announced Big Show and Mark Henry will take on Erick Rowan and Luke Harper later tonight.
They aired the conclusion of Damien Mizdow vs. Sheamus from SmackDown, which is leading to Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro and The Miz next.
Match 1: In the opening bout, Cesaro and The Miz (w/Stunt double Damien Mizdow and a female make-up artist) defeated United States Champion Sheamus and Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler in 11:00 when Miz 'tagged' in his stunt double. As the referee was attempting to get Sandow out of the ring, Ziggler dropped him with a Back-Stabber. Miz then nailed Ziggler with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.
They replayed the horrendous Bella segment from last week.
In what looks like a recurring piece throughout the night (groan) entitled Growing Up Bella, Nikki was shown talking in front of a black background to the camera. She said that her sister Brie has always been conniving and jealous. She showed a photo from prom night where she was with some bloke called "Ryan", who was apparently Nikki's biggest crush. Right after the photo was taken Ryan disappeared. Nikki found him in the parking lot strawberry floating Brie. She went home and cried her eyes out.
Match 2: Rosa Mendes, TheBomb.com and Eva Marie vs. Summer Rae, Naomi and Layla ended in Disqualification after 1:00 when all 6 girls got into the ring and the referee threw it out. A really piss poor brawl then broke out, the heels ultimately getting dispatched to the outside.
Match 3: Big Show and Mark Henry defeated Erick Rowan and Luke Harper via Disqualification when Rusev walked in and kicked Mark Henry in the face. They spent the first hour billing this as 1,400 pounds in the ring, like this was something to be remotely impressed by. After the match the Wyatt's tried to attack Show with steel chairs but Show punched it away, before standing his ground in the ring. Crowd spent various points in the match chanting "Sexual Chocolate".
Growing Up Bella: She said her sister has always been conniving and self centred. Nikki passed her driving test but Brie failed. Their Mum bought a Honda Civic. We then got a photo of a Honda Civic. Someone get me a drink. A vodka if you've got any in the cupboard. Nikki drove her sister everywhere. But one night they were out and Brie stole the car, along with the driver's license. She then totalled the car. When the police arrived she handed them Nikki's license. Half expecting Katie Vick to be in the boot.
At the announce table, Sky Sports briefly caught the tail-end of the announcers saying they will give Michael Sam of the NFL an open microphone next week on RAW (if he accepts) to put his side of the story across.
They replayed all of last week's action from RAW involving John Cena, showing how ready he is to take on WWE Champion Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions.
Paul Heyman walked out onto the stage. He said his client wants him to enlighten us on over-compensatory behaviour. Exactly what has been exhibited by John Cena ever since he was defeated in the most lob-sided title match in company history. They put up photos of Lesnar destroying and 'emasculating' Cena at SummerSlam. John Cena is no longer listening to reason. Triple H sees Cena as a cash cow that will be milked for the last time at Night of Champions. You can put the whole roster together and it still won't come close to the domination that Cena is going to endure in 3 weeks.
Match 4: Jack Swagger (w/a returning Zeb Colter) tapped out Curtis Axel with the Patriot Lock in 2:00.
After the match, Bo Dallas was on the stage with 3 people sat in chairs. This was intentionally crap. They were representing all the millions Swagger let down. He introduced a guy called Richie, a farmer from the heartland. He bet a month’s salary on Swagger at SummerSlam. Swagger then lost. Dumb strawberry float Richie then went double or nothing on the rematches. Now the bank is taking his farm. Good. He then moved on to Angelo, an up-and-coming tailor who emigrated to the USA. Angelo was so upset he failed his citizenship test and now he is being deported back to Italy. Bo finally introduced us to Jennifer. Her son’s favourite wrestler used to be Jack Swagger. But now her bastard of a son wants to be like Vladimir Putin. Putin was put up on the Titan Tron.
Match 5: Back on RAW, Adam Rose (w/The Rosebuds) rolled up Titus O'Neil (w/Heath Slater) in 2:00 when Titus was distracted by Heath Slater getting beaten up by The Bunny on the outside. After the match, Rose and The Bunny ran Slater into the steel steps.
Growing Up Bella: Graduation Day. If Brie didn't bring up her average she would be held back. Nikki said she tried everything but nothing was working. So Brie asked her to swap places and Nikki take the test on her behalf. Brie passed with flying colours. Nikki said she had never told anyone this before. Sure sucks to be us then.
Lana cut a promo on Labor Day, which is basically celebrating another day off. Educating the youth that it's okay to be listless. Russia meanwhile celebrated Knowledge, which promotes the education of their youth. Labor Day in comparison sucks.
Match 6: Rusev (w/Lana) demolished Zack Ryder in 1:00 to no reaction. After the match Mark Henry marched on down to the ring. Rusev then retreated. Henry asked what Rusev was scared of. Then said he was going to open an International wing in his Hall of Pain...and Rusev was going to be the first inductee.
Back in the RAW office, Stephanie McMahon was talking with her husband. Hunter said Stephanie has already beaten Brie. Stephanie said the Growing Up Bella segments had got to her. "When superstars have problems my door is always open". Crowd were heard laughing in the background. Somehow I don't think that line was supposed to be as laced with innuendo as it was interpreted. Triple H told his wife that she has such a big heart. Stephanie said that she cannot wait to see Nikki’s face next.
Stephanie made her way out to the ring for her announcement. 'As a principal owner, and one of the most powerful leaders in the world, I commend Nikki Bella for standing up in the face of diversity and standing up to her sister'. She then requested Nikki come to the ring. Stephanie told her she looked stunning. Nikki thanked Stephanie for allowing her to get everything off her chest tonight. Crowd chanted "boring". Loudly. Stephanie said we know what it's like to be powerless and weak. Brie still continues to take the spotlight, but Stephanie said she is so proud of Nikki, and also thankful there isn't a Brie among her daughters. Stephanie announced that, as Nikki is the face of the Divas' division, she is therefore giving her a Divas' championship match at Night of Champions. The Bella's music then hit again and out came Brie. Steph told the truck to cut the music as it's now exclusively Nikki's. Brie said none of this concerned Steph, as it's between 2 sisters.
Brie asked if this is what it was all about; all these lies just to get a championship match. Crowd were now audibly groaning in the background at the strawberry floating crap stinking up the joint in the ring. Nikki said she is just counting down the days until Daniel Bryan wakes up and divorces her. AJ Lee then turned up, skipping to the ring. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". AJ Lee said as she's never got her rematch, the Number 1 contender is her. Lee than said how about Steph do what is best for business and leave the Divas title to her. Paige arrived, also skipping to the ring. All this talk of Champions, there's only one thing missing...the bloody champion. Nikki said to her sister that she can make this all go away. She will forgive Brie under 1 condition: she sacrifice her job and quit. Brie stood there with a face that screamed guts ache. Nikki, outraged, chastised her sister for quitting for Daniel but not for her own sister. Nikki said Brie needed to go home and have some troll babies. In perfect timing "I could be at home watching Nitro" popped up in the background. Nikki screamed Brie should quit. About half the crowd chanted "No". Brie then shoved Nikki who flew into Paige and the belt, knocking them both down. Brie then stormed off, while Steph smiled. AJ Lee took the Divas' title and skipped about, until Stephanie got in her face and demanded the belt back. Stephanie then snatched it back. Nikki got to her feet. Paige's music played, as she also got back up, taking the belt, and skipping off. Nikki just stood there pulling a Victoria Beckham.
If you wish to prolong the torture, Dolph Ziggler will be on MizTV tomorrow night on Main Event.
Chris Jericho will take on Bray Wyatt on next week's RAW inside a steel cage.
Bray Wyatt popped up on the Titan Tron. He said next week it appears they will be inside a steel cage like wild animals. It is time for Jericho to pay for his sins.
They replayed the Rhodes' heel turn last week.
Goldust took the microphone and said they were sorry for their actions last week. The Uso's then attacked them anyway.
Match 7: Goldust (w/Stardust) defeated Jimmy Uso (w/Jey) with the Final Cut in 2:00. After the match, Stardust smashed Jey's leg with a steel chair against the ring post.
We got a recap on Rollins' taking out Ambrose in the Street Fight.
Rollins, Kane, and Randy Orton were shown chatting in the hallway backstage.
They recapped the conclusion to the 1,400 pound tag match. For Christ sake...
Mark Henry was in the locker room with Big Show. Show said they have the opportunity to be the most dominant tag team in the WWE. Henry said they will be, but first he needs to deal with Rusev for his country, and he needs to do it alone. Big Show said he respects that, and they then pumped each other up.
KING OF KINGS filled the building for the second time tonight. Hunter and Stephanie then waltzed on down, as they replayed the opening segment, having seemingly run out of...well...anything to fill this 3rd hour of hell.
Paige will take on Brie Bella in one of the main events on SmackDown. Tune in!
In a rematch from SummerSlam, Roman Reigns will face Randy Orton on RAW next week in a double main event.
Main Event: John Cena, Roman Reigns and Chris Jericho defeated Seth Rollins, Randy Orton and Kane in 23:00 when Cena hit the AA on Kane and Roman Reigns followed it up with a Spear.
John Cena got in The Authority's face at ringside. Rollins then attacked him from behind, but Cena immediately fought him off and gave him an AA onto the announce table (which didn't break). Cena screamed at Hunter and Steph he'd see Lesnar at Night of Champions. With the victors celebrating in the ring, the announcers ran down the card for next week, to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW: Jerry Springer Results September 8 2014 wrote:
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, John "Bradshaw" Layfield
The "Season Première" of RAW opened with a package running down the night's festivities.
Match 1: Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper and Eric Rowan) defeated Chris Jericho inside a Steel Cage at 17:00. The finish saw Chris Jericho hit a Cross Body off the top of the cage onto Wyatt, however Jericho 'injured' his knee in the process. With both men exchanging blows hanging out of the cage door on the ring steps, Wyatt ended up going over Jericho and falling to the outside. After the match Bray Wyatt slammed the door into Jericho's leg, threw him back into the ring, and planted him with Sister Abigail.
Backstage in the RAW office, Corporate Kane was telling Seth Rollins what an amazing start to the new season of the programme. Triple H walked in and congratulated Kane on a great show. Presumably Kane is now putting the show together. Triple H said they need to put on something memorable that nobody will forget when Randy Orton also walked in. Orton asked just how memorable he wants this to be, as one man is in the main event & it isn’t the corporate suit (Kane) or the corporate sell out (Seth Rollins). Orton asked Triple H if he can do something tonight that will make what Seth did to Dean Ambrose look like Sunday School. Hunter agreed and Randy replied that he'll not regret it.
In the ring Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler said that last week was a very controversial week in Hollywood, with many celebrities having their phones hacked and photos put all over the internet. No celebrity, no matter A list or otherwise, deserved to be tormented like this. Then again there maybe one D-List celebrity...that being The Miz. Ziggler said while he doesn't condone hacking, he had 'acquired' some photos of his own. Dolph then had the truck put various photos up on the Tron, with the first showing Miz getting a facial (no, not that kind). The 2nd was of Miz shaving his chest in a mirror. Ziggler was about to show something much more embarrassing when Miz, accompanied by his stunt-double Damien Mizdow, came out. Miz said this was an outrageous invasion of his privacy and Ziggler had invaded the sanctity of his home. He said those photos were for medical purposes only. Mizdow was mimicking Miz's hand movements & mannerisms - badly - the entire time. Miz vowed to sue Ziggler or anyone that published the photos. Miz said Ziggler will never work in "this town" ever again. Dolph replied that if he can never work in the town again then he guesses he might as well get his money’s worth tonight. A pixelated photo of Sandow spray-tanning Miz's naked buttocks went up. Miz demanded Mizdow go after Ziggler. Ziggler responded with a drop kick. and the ZigZag. Miz watched on from the outside.
Match 2: WWE Divas' Champion Paige defeated Rosa Mendes and Natalya when AJ Lee tapped out Rosa with the Black Widow in 3:00. After the match AJ Lee and Paige got into an argument. AJ Lee snatched the belt and kissed it, before passing it back to a disgusted Paige. Paige then decided to kiss the belt too.
Chris Jericho was in the trainers room getting checked over when Randy Orton attacked him from behind and laid him out. "What can I say, it's the season premiere" and walked off.
Paul Heyman was in the ring for a promo. He said he wanted to deliver a warning to John Cena tonight, and do so as if he was right in his face. That wish was granted as John Cena immediately made his way to the ring. "Not to worry Mr Heyman, I just didn't want to stretch everyone's imagination". Heyman said up until SummerSlam Cena was the greatest WWE Champion of all time, as it takes a certain type of man to be confronted with the truth. Paul continued that Brock Lesnar thought that Cena would come out, and in that eventuality, he had authorised him to drop the warning and give John some "inside information" - that being how Cena can defeat Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions. Cena interrupted, saying he already knows what he needs to do. Undertaker was defeated and we haven't seen him in 6 months. In comparison he's back 1 week after Summerslam ready to compete. And that's because his belief is "Never Give Up". Cena said he'd see Heyman's client at Night of Champions, and was just about to make his exit when Heyman chimed in that this was Cena's biggest problem: he just can't help but be John Cena. He lives for the kid that chants "Lets go Cena".
But when Lesnar steps into the ring he doesn't hear anyone but 3 people: the referee, Paul Heyman, and the suffering of his victims. Heyman said all Cena has to do to beat Lesnar is to give in to temptation. All those that say "Cena sucks" gets to him. Heyman asked whether Cena would like to go to the fat and ugly unemployed guy in the sixth row, find that hatred and contempt in his soul, & tell that person to "shut up"? Heyman, mocking Cena's old rap gimmick, took a shot at the Baltimore Ravens. Heyman told Cena to lose the T-Shirts and lose the slogans, so when he gives in to the hatred in his sole he can then be the one that beat the one in 21 and one. Or he can just be 1 of many victims that fell at the hands of the conquer Brock Lesnar. Cena just stood there gurning. Cena was about to step out of the ring and do it but of course changed his mind. Crowd did the whole back and forth chanting thing. "Shut up Paul Heyman". Cena said he can see exactly what Heyman's trying to do. He wants him to turn his back on everyone that has ever believed a word he's said. Heyman lives in a world of "Eat Sleep Conquer Repeat" but in his world it's "Eat Sleep Be John Cena Repeat" because that's who he is and he isn't going to change it even if he could. Cena said that he likes being the guy that gets the kid to do his homework so he can come to Monday Night RAW. He says he likes being the guy that likes granting the wish to that one kid and being fortunate enough to meet with wounded soldiers. In contrast in walks an advocate like Heyman who thinks he's going strip that all away simply to win a match. Cena then told Heyman he's showing up for a fight next week, but if Lesnar decides to take yet another week off and leaves Heyman do the talking...then he's going to fight Paul Heyman instead. "Have a nice week, see you next Monday".
Match 3: Seth Rollins defeated United States Champion Sheamus in a non-title outing after Sheamus and Cesaro got into a tug of war over the US title, which allowed Rollins to knee Sheamus in the back and hit him with a (mistimed) Foot Stomp for the pin. After the match Cesaro got in the ring and nailed the Neutraliser on Sheamus.
They revealed Mark Henry will meet Rusev on PPV in 2 weeks.
Lana cut a promo on the stage, saying that most Americans don't know that their own National Anthem was written in "this decrepit city". She then started singing it, changing some of the words. Badly. The 'real' National Anthem followed...Russia. Putin was shown again on the Tron. We shot to the announce table, where Lawler was so insulted he decided it was appropriate to kneel on the floor.
We got a package on NXT Takeover, which is Live this Thursday night on the WWE Network, and probably on Sky Sports a few days later.
Match 4: NXT Champion Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn defeated Tyler Breeze and Tyson Kidd in 4:00 with an incredibly impressive looking twisting corkscrew shooting star press off the top. By WWE standards, this received a pretty respectable response from the crowd, with a number of fans at least singing "Olay, Olay". Must really like the moisturiser. This actually almost felt like another promotion coming in for a match.
Stephanie McMahon was shown walking backstage heading towards the ring.
Back from commercial Stephanie McMahon made her way out. They had the black carpet out in the ring because God forbid they actually go to some effort with this thing. Steph said it felt great to be back in Baltimore. She's supposed to be a heel. She noted how she wrestled her father in this very building at No Mercy & they managed to patch up their differences in the end as nothing is more important than family, so it is therefore time to bring Nikki and Brie back together. And there's only one man capable of bringing two feuding siblings back together. She then introduced Jerry Springer, accompanied by his security guard "Jason". Springer thanked Stephanie for the introduction. Springer's voice has changed quite a bit. He said he couldn't possibly turn down the opportunity to be back on RAW. He asked Brie to come to the ring. She has new music. As she walked out they replayed last Monday's car crash. Springer said it was obvious she is being abused by her sister, yet she still tweeted an apology the following day. Springer asked why she was apologising. Brie said that she shouldn’t have stooped down to Nikki’s classless level. Out came a somewhat dishevelled looking Nikki.
Nikki extended her hand and she and her sister shook hands. Nikki said however it doesn’t mean that she will accept being treated like a second class sister because she is an intelligent and classy woman (in what strawberry floating lifetime) with a lot going on right now, such as the 3rd season of her show Total Divas débuting last night on E!. She continued that she couldn’t be happier, which is why she wasn't going to let Brie’s negativity get her down. Jerry intervened and said all this happened long before SummerSlam. We then got a load of highlights from Season 1 of Total Divas of the 2 sisters disagreeing and...zzzzzz. Nikki said she wouldn't be surprised if it was Brie's fault that their Dad left. She'd leave too if there was someone as attention seeking as Brie. Jerry revealed they were able to track him down! In a pre-tape their father said this whole situation was breaking their hearts. "Please help us Jerry". Their Mum, Kathy Colace, was then shown in another pre-tape saying both sisters need to make this right. strawberry float me the acting is diabolical. Springer said they're now going 1 better - their brother JJ Bella is here Live! Out he walked. JJ said Nikki needs to stop acting like the victim. All hell then broke loose as the sisters started fighting. Springer tried to get involved and ended up with all and sundry on top of him. Crowd naturally chanted "Jerry, Jerry". Nikki then walloped her brother. The sisters continued to roll around - and over - a floored Springer. Stephanie McMahon proceeded to get in the ring and ended up on the mat rolling all over the place too. Officials and Springer's completely useless body guard finally turned up to separate everyone. A stretcher was wheeled out for Springer. Stephanie kept apologising profusely. The commentators, not taking this seriously whatsoever, were now laughing and humouring themselves. Springer gave the 2 thumbs up to the crowd to signify he was okay as he was taken out of the building.
Inset promo by The Usos.
Match 5: Goldust and Stardust beat The Matadores in 2:00 when Stardust used Dark Matter. As the 'dusts were celebrating on the ramp The Uso's struck with crutches to the back, sending them packing.
They aired a tribute video, narrated by Jerry Lawler, for Joan Rivers. The crowd audio was turned off for whatever reason.
Match 6: Adam Rose (w/The Rosebuds) defeated Titus O'Neil (w/Heath Slater) with the Party Foul in 1.00. On the outside, The Bunny Super-kicked Heath Slater. In the ring somebody was Bunny Splashed off the top rope. I'm writing this in the ad break directly following and I've completely forgotten.
Renee Young interviewed Roman Reigns backstage. The interview lasted all of 20 seconds. Reigns' has the antidote to Orton's venom. Lewd.
Recap of the closing moments of Cena/Heyman.
They aired a video hyping Cena/Lesnar III, interspersed with comments from Lesnar & Heyman.
Brock Lesnar will be on the show, Live, next week.
Rusev and Mark Henry will face off in an "International Arm Wrestling Contest" on SmackDown.
Main Event: Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton ended in a No Contest when Kane and Seth Rollins, accompanied by the ring crew, ran in and put the beating on Reigns. The crowd are now actually looking at the ring entrance prior to a run in, just like they did in WCW. It's become that predictable now, not helped by the fact they've also got a camera man positioned looking at the ramp, foreshadowing everything.
With Kane, Rollins and Orton dealing with Reigns, the ring crew were busy working on the hardware needed to set up the steel cage. As the cage began to lower - hell, even the bloody music kicked in - Reigns' managed to make a comeback and sent Kane and Rollins to the outside. Before Rollins and Kane could re-enter, the cage was in place. Well, that was obviously the intention. In reality Rollins could have quite easily got back into the ring...the ring crew had to direct the metal rods into place. This also posed the question, having asked the cage to be erected again, why Kane and company couldn't have just asked for it to be raised again. Reign's sent Orton head first into the cage a few times and followed it up with a Spear. Kane then attempted to get in the cage via the door. As Reigns' turned back, unbeknownst to him, Rollins had managed to scale the cage. He then did a Jericho and floored Reigns' with a Cross Body. Kane sent Reigns' into the cage and put him down with a Chokeslam. With Orton back up Roman Reigns was destroyed with a steel chair. Finally Rollins placed a steel chair under the head of Reigns' and delivered the Curb Stomp. Orton, Kane and Rollins celebrated to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 15 2014 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
Monday Night RAW opened with Paul Heyman in the ring. He started by saying he is here tonight to give us all a preview of what will happen to John Cena at Night of Champions. First, the former Champion will make his way down the aisle. We will hear his music, Paul mockingly humming it in the process. All of the children will be cheering for Cena. Then the next person to walk down the aisle will be his client: The Conqueror, the Beast Incarnate, the reigning & defending Undisputed WWE Champion of the World, BROCK LESNAR. John Cena's music then interrupted. He said he is here for a fight. Heyman explained that, as a businessman, he wanted to entice the people to pay $9.99 to watch it on the WWE Network, whereas John wants to give it away for free in the Cajun Dome. Heyman said in actual fact everyone is going to get it right now. "HERE COMES THE PAIN". Heyman then revealed there is no pain because Lesnar is not coming out as Brock’s private plane has been delayed & he is still on his way to the building. Heyman told John that he thinks he knew the plane was delayed which is why he came out and challenged Lesnar because he knows he isn't there and likes to play the hero character better than anybody. Cena then grabbed Heyman and told him that he thinks he's full of crap. Cena said that if Lesnar doesn’t show up at the halfway point of the programme he will kick Paul’s arse. Heyman told Cena that when Brock arrives he will let him know. Heyman then left the ring. John cut Heyman off and said he doesn't trust him, and since people want a fight, he is going to make sure everyone gets one. He then put Heyman in a side headlock and forced him to the back.
They announced Roman Reigns will face Seth Rollins later tonight.
On the WWE App John Cena was shown dragging Paul Heyman backstage in a headlock. He then chucked him into his locker room and shut the door. Cena told Khali, who was standing in the hallway, not to let Heyman out of his locker room, and managed to say it in Punjab incredibly enough.
Match 1: Chris Jericho defeated Corporate Kane in 13:00 after Kane went into an exposed turnbuckle and was rolled up.
Paul Heyman was in the locker room on the phone to Brock. Somehow a camera crew had got in there...
Renee Young interviewed Roman Reigns backstage. Reigns' said 2 years ago he came in with 2 brothers but now he stands alone. Plan is simple; he is going to ball up his fist and hit Seth until his knuckles bleed. "Believe that".
They plugged The Steve Austin Show podcast.
Match 2: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) defeated Bo Dallas with the Ankle Lock in a 6 minute snooze.
They flogged the WWE Network schedule, including the Montreal Screw Job.
We got a recap of the Jerry Springer Show from last week. Sky mercifully said strawberry float this and cut to a commercial break
Match 3: Paige and Nikki defeated AJ Lee and and Brie in 3:00 when Paige hit the Rampaige on Brie. After the bell, Nikki attacked her sister. Paige skipped around a laid out Brie with the belt in hand.
They recapped the main event of SmackDown.
Bray Wyatt cut a promo about absolutely nothing on the Tron.
Paul Heyman was shown rocking back and forth in the locker room.
Paul Heyman tentatively came out of his locker room and tried to talk to Khali. Heyman told him he really needs to call Lesnar as he has poor phone reception. Khali then broke Heyman's phone...which was quite blatantly fake.
Match 4: Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt ended in Disqualification when the Wyatt's ran in. Big Show then double chokeslammed the both of them.
This entire RAW has been flat as a pancake.
Match 5: An hour 40 into the show we finally got something worthwhile as Tag Team Champions The Uso's and United States Champion Sheamus defeated Stardust, Goldust and Cesaro in the best match of the night (really not saying much).
We got a recap of Dean Ambrose having his head crushed on the cinder blocks.
Christian's Peep Show returns on the Night of Champions Pre-Show, with guest Chris Jericho.
We got some old clips of Mark Henry lifting weights from the mid 90s.
Renee Young interviewed Randy Orton backstage. Orton told her that he attacked Chris Jericho last week because a few weeks ago Jericho said he had had everything handed to him. Orton said it's not his fault Jericho has needed to work twice as hard to accomplish half of what he has. And on Sunday Jericho will receive the beating of his life.
Khali was shown standing in front of John Cena's locker room. Riveting.
John Cena thanked Khali and then dragged Paul Heyman back out of the room and to the ring. Cena said his name is John Cena (boos) and now is the moment we've all been waiting for: it's time to to watch Heyman-dini, the great man behind 21-1, magically make a beast appear...or he is going to magically use his fist to make Heyman's teeth disappear. Cena demanded Heyman produce his beast (yes this was coming off as lewd as it sounds). Heyman replied by saying "hustle, loyalty and respect" is a sham. This is the Cena he has trying to bring out. Heyman said the fans will never be the trigger, but he will be. To beat a beast you have to become a beast. And he is the one to bring that hatred out of Cena. Heyman continued that Cena will never beat him up, a 49 year old father of two. And this is why he can't beat Lesnar. This whole role model thing...he really does believe it. Heyman said the only way Cena has a chance of defeating Lesnar is if he finally lets that aggression out.
Heyman continued goading Cena to hit him. Heyman said that Cena can't be a bully as he can't even hit him, even though he deserves it. Therefore he will fail this Sunday and he'll never be Champion again. Cena replied that if ever there was a person that needed their face rearranging it's Heyman. Cena told the crowd sorry as he thought Heyman would produce Lesnar and they would fight. Instead there is no beast, just Heyman. An old washed-up scum bag who doesn't deserve the dirt off Cena's hands. Cena walked away. As he was about to leave, Heyman told him that he is doing the right thing by walking away, as if he was John’s mother he would be proud if his son was born with testicles. Cena then shoved Heyman down and straight out of the ring, telling him not to speak about his mother like that. Out came Lesnar finally, pyro exploding everywhere. Lesnar helped up Heyman. After much teasing, Cena and Lesnar finally got into it in the ring. Almost immediately Lesnar nailed Cena with a German Suplex, and then kicked Cena out of the ring to the outside. Lesnar turned his back and smirked in the ring. Cena then charged back in & both men brawled back out of the ring and onto the floor, Cena gaining the upper hand. Crowd chanted "Cena". Security finally ran down and pulled both men apart. They then held Cena back as Brock Lesnar and Heyman headed to the back. Cena shouted he'd see Brock Sunday.
Stephanie McMahon is on the cover of Shape magazine, promoting her upcoming fitness DVD.
They aired footage from Total Divas of Cameron and Naomi splitting up as a team. I thought this had happened months ago?
Match 6: Naomi tapped out Cameron. Naomi had some rather unfortunate markings on her gear around the inner thigh area, which made it appear like she'd shat herself. She may very well have done, or it could have been some form of bronzer rubbing off. Why black women need to wear something like that I have no idea but it wouldn't be the first time.
Match 7: R-Ziggler (R-Truth) and Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler beat Miz and Damien Mizdow when Miz accidentally punched his stunt double in the face and Ziggler hit the ZigZag for the pin. The commentators spent the entire match mockingly pretending they couldn't tell the difference between all 4 men.
Seth Rollins was interviewed by Tom Phillips backstage. Rollins said Reigns is one of the most naturally gifted superstars in history but Reigns is nothing without him. Rollins said that earlier Reigns commented on getting bloody knuckles. These are the comments of a Neanderthal and of someone that walks on all fours. Rollins then dropped down and mimicked an ape. He said Reigns is part gorilla, part Samoan, and part rhinoceros. And rhinoceros, while tough, are not that smart. Rollins finally claimed responsibilty for everything Reigns has accomplished and tonight he will take everything that he could have been away.
The Wyatt Family will face Big Show and The Uso's on SmackDown.
Main Event: Roman Reigns pinned Seth Rollins at 11:00 with a Spear. They will tangle again at Night of Champions. There are a smattering of boos beginning to surface for Reigns...
They re-aired the brawl between Cena and Brock Lesnar.
They ran down the card for Night of Champions.
In an utterly bizarre choice to end the show on - and billed as "Mark Henry Rallies America" - Michael Cole was in the ring. Everything was decked out in American colours, flags & garb. Mark Henry made his way out. Most in the crowd were waving mini US flags. As soon as Mark Henry started talking he was greeted by "What?" chants. Henry said he hates the disdain Lana and Rusev have for America. Henry said that he had to withdraw from the 1996 Olympics due to an injury & it still haunts him, but now he has a second chance. Cole noted that Lana has continued to disparage the United States on social media (which has been "on fire" over this subject...erm, apparently). Henry said that Lana would not be able to say those things if she wasn't in the United States. If she was in Russia, she would not have the luxury to spout her crap. Rusuv & Lana interrupted. Lana told Henry to shut up. She said that since American intelligence has dropped faster than President Obama's approval rating, they have provided visual aids. She said that what Henry conveniently forgot to tell everyone is that he participated in the 1992 Olympic Games. And failed. The Gold Medallist was actually Russian. A photo of the winner was put up on the Tron. Lana continued that just like in 1992, Henry's confidence was shattered when he saw the superiority of Russia, which is why he faked an injury in 1996. Lana said Henry reeks of inferiority compared to Russia’s finest. Just like President Obama cowers in fear when he hears the name of Mother Russia’s greatest leader, Vladimir Putin. Ever get the feeling McMahon really doesn't like Obama...Putin was once again put up on the Tron. Henry said he was going to make a pledge to everyone in the arena and everyone in America watching from coast to coast. Henry started reciting the Pledge of Allegiance but Rusev jumped into the ring and attacked him, both men getting into a brawl. Rusev gained the upper hand, flooring Henry with a thrust kick. With Rusev about to apply the Accolade, and the crowd now chanting "USA! USA!" Henry managed to muster the energy to power out of the hold. Henry then grabbed Rusuv around the neck with a Power Bomb. Henry tossed Rusev to the floor & celebrated by waving old glory to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 22 2014 wrote:
Location: FedEx Forum; Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John “Bermuda” Layfield
RAW innit. It'll probably be a load of gooseberry fool again. Some boring-arse matches we've seen 50 times before will probably take place. The main event probably won't have a finish just like the 900 other main events didn't. And nothing of interest will happen for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Why not come on the journey with me again & find out. Show opened with Dean Ambrose making his return to RAW. "I'm not dead!" he bellowed. Ambrose, pulling a Steve Austin/Randy Savage, then proceeded to grab a steel chair and refused to leave the ring by staging a sit in. John Cena then turned up. Ambrose said he didn't like the fact Cena was now in the ring with him, requesting Cena not give him a reason to dislike him. Cena said they both have a similar agenda in Seth Rollins, who did his best to take out Ambrose, but then last night cost him the WWE Championship. Cena said he was cashing in his "ass kicking in the bank contract" on Rollins tonight, and nobody was going to stop him. Ambrose replied that he had warned Cena once not to get in his way. Both men appeared like they were going to get into it when Triple H, wife Stephanie, and "The Cronies" Kane, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins interrupted on the stage. Triple H told them to relax as neither of them were fighting Rollins tonight, however Cena and Ambrose would both be in action. Cena and Ambrose immediately left the ring and all men then got into a melee in the aisle way, to near enough complete silence from the crowd. Oh God, it's going to be one of those nights. Rollins and Ambrose chased each other to the back, as we went to the announcers at the table. Stephanie picked up Rollins' briefcase and the faction regrouping headed to the back. Zooming backstage, Ambrose and Rollins continued fighting, Cena turning up as well. Rollins finally managed to scarper out of the building and into the parking lot, comically pushing some guy over and then hijacking his car. Ambrose jumped into the back but fell out. Cena and Ambrose stared at each other as well headed to commericial.
Backstage, Hunter and Stephanie told Kane and Orton that they'd be facing Ambrose and Cena respectively later. Randy Orton vs. John Cena. That's RANDY ORTON VS. JOHN CENA. Oh for Pete's sake, not again. Orton said he was sick of Mr. Money in the Bank setting fires that they then have to put out. They had announced Orton vs. Ambrose on WWE.com about 3 hours ago. Just goes to show doesn't it...
Match 1: In the opening bout, and a rematch from last night, Dolph Ziggler defeated The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow, who was carrying a much smaller and cheaper looking replica) in 13:00 with a roll-up to recapture the Intercontinental Championship. We've now entered the hot-shotting of titles phase.
Holy gooseberry fool the attendance on SmackDown was abysmal on Friday...
Match 2: In a rematch from SmackDown, which itself was a rematch from last Monday's RAW, Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) defeated Bo Dallas in 3:00 with the Patriot Ankle Lock. After the match Colter told Dallas that he '[high pitched] BO-LIEVE'd Jack Swagger just made him tap out'.
Match 3: Natalya (w/Rosa Mendes) tapped out Summer Rae (w/Layla) with the Sharpshooter in 2:00. Prior to the match Summer said something about the summer season being over but it always being summer in her and Layla's world. I was too busy reading the writing on my bottle of Buxton mineral water.
They recapped the opening segment...while also accidentally putting up the replay graphics for WWE Superstars. I doubt anybody noticed.
They replayed, for the 2nd time tonight, Ambrose getting Curb Stomped through the cinder blocks.
Match 4: Corporate Kane vs. Dean Ambrose ended in Disqualification when Seth Rollins ran in and attacked Ambrose. As Ambrose was making a comeback he was planted with a pretty lame looking Chokeslam from Kane. As Rollins was heading back up the aisle he changed his mind and went to attack Ambrose once more...but then thought better of it when Ambrose grabbed a steel chair.
Not that I blame them but the crowd tonight has been absolutely rotten.
Backstage Triple H told Rollins he needed to stop setting fires when Dean Ambrose appeared out of nowhere and attacked Rollins & Kane. Jamie Noble and security then came onto the scene and pulled him off. Hunter demanded they throw him out of the building. Stephanie then appeared and ordered they lock Ambrose in a closet instead. Stephanie questioned to her husband when the last time was that they chucked somebody out that didn't then come back later in the night. She then said Ambrose was "too much of a loose cannon". Best thing on the show and it's a strawberry floating sentence.
We got a package, which aired twice last night, on Roman Reigns' injury and surgery.
Match 5: The Uso's and United States Champion Sheamus beat Cesaro & Tag Team Champions Goldust and Stardust in your usual quality, but now very predictable, six man tag portion of the night. The crowd were monumentally disengaged until the very end.
Orton was working out backstage when Rollins' walked up to him. Rollins' said he appreciates that he is going through with this match with Cena, and that he might have a little surprise waiting for Orton during his match. He also revealed Kane and Rollins' will be out at ringside. Oh great, more interference. Orton said he does love surprises.
A dejected Mark Henry was shown walking backstage towards the ring.
They aired a trailer for WWE 2K15. It's the one currently on YouTube. Sky went straight to break.
Security were shown standing in front of a door making sure Ambrose doesn't escape. Spoiler: he will.
Mark Henry walked out. He said he wants to apologise for letting America down at Night of Champions. Crowd chanted "What". He said that they could. Rusev then came out with Lana. Henry just stood there looking sorry for himself. Lana said Henry didn't need to apologise as everyone was just as pathetic as he was. Crowd chanted "USA". Lana told them to shut up. 3 times. Lana said people in attendance want to see Rusev vs. Henry again. Henry said if people will allow him to destroy Rusev tonight, then bring it on.
MizTV returns tomorrow night on Main Event, with special guest Dean Ambrose.
Match 6: In another bloody rematch featuring HOLDS, lethargic action, and a crowd in a coma, Rusev (w/Lana) defeated Mark Henry in 7:00 when Henry passed out to the Accolade. The crowd were now being prepared for burial in the background.
They replayed the opening segment. AGAIN.
They replayed Ambrose getting locked in a closet.
Adam Rose and his Rosebuds were shown walking backstage all excited. The announcers revealed The Bunny would be in action. NEXT. Well at least this show is excelling at my opening prediction, I'll give 'em that.
Match 7: Adam Rose and The Bunny (w/The Exotic Express) beat Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil in 3:00. Party Foul on Slater for the pin.
Nikki Bella's inflatables were shown heading towards the ring to address the WWE Universe. Hopefully she'll get lost during the commercial break.
Men were shown standing in front of the door again.
Having unfortunately not got lost, Nikki came out. As she gyrated on the stage, Lawler came out with "Don't you wish you had a swing like that in your back yard". Cole and JBL no sold it completely. Crowd chanted "What". Nikki blamed Brie's words in an interview. She then demanded Brie come out. There's not over and then there's this. A bloke in the crowd crossed his arms and sighed. Brilliant. WORDS. WORDS EVERYWHERE. Nikki said Brie was an embarrassment to the name Bella. Nikki said Brie should change her name to "Nikki's trashy sister". Or 'Brie Quiter'. Nikki revealed she wants the Bella name exclusively. Brie said she would never give up the Bella name. Nikki asked why she wasn't taking that beaten down troll's name. Brie slapped her. A guy shouted "BORING". They fought a little bit and then AJ Lee came out. Someone blow up the ring.
Paige was out for commentary.
#BunnyMania was the number 1 trend on Twitter.
Match 8: Divas' Champion AJ Lee tapped out Nikki Bella in a non-title match in 5:00.
Triple H asked the security guarding the door if everything was okay. They said they hadn't heard a peep from Ambrose.
The Uso's vs. Goldust and Stardust for the Tag Team Championship made for SmackDown.
The October 10 episode of SmackDown will be its 15th anniversary.
A mysterious box was shown next to the time keepers area. The announcers made it sound like it was cinder blocks. It's probably Ambrose.
Main Event: In the most predictable ending to a main event since the last year of predictable finishes to main events, Randy Orton (w/Kane and Seth Rollins) vs. John Cena ended in Disqualification when all and sundry ran in & attacked Cena.
Kane then put down Cena with a Chokeslam and rolled him to the outside. With the intention of Curb Stomping Cena through Cinder blocks, Kane lifted up the wooden box at ringside to reveal, to the surprise of absolutely nobody other than the moronic announcers, Dean Ambrose. Ambrose then beat up everyone. Just as it appeared Ambrose was going to succumb to The Authority, John Cena re-entered the ring and made the save with an AA. Seth Rollins meanwhile retreated into the crowd and up the steps. Ambrose single-handedly fighting off the entire Authority deserved a much bigger reaction from the crowd than it got, but they weren't having any of it from this show.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 29 2014 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
With RAW emanating from Chicago tonight, expect copious amounts of "CM Punk" dotted throughout this Report. Proceedings kicked off with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon making their way out. The middle ring rope is pink. Susan G. Komen is on the ramp and the announce table hood. Stephanie sarcastically thanked the crowd for the warm welcome. Like clockwork, the crowd then broke out into a chant for "CM Punk". Stephanie said the crowd cheer for quitters because then can relate; they would rather just quit when life gets tough than fight for what they believe in. Stephanie said that when things get hard at work they quit, instead opting to take the easy way out. We steal...just like Dean Ambrose on SmackDown. She said his actions will not be tolerated. Hunter staid the briefcase is a symbol; a symbol that represents this business. Crowd gave him the "What?" treatment. Hunter said they will not let anyone disrespect the business. Paul Heyman then interrupted. Heyman said it was ironic he mentioned disrespect, as Lesnar feels disrespected by John Cena and "their boy" Seth Rollins, who got involved at Night of Champions, Curb Stomped his client from behind, and then attempted to cash in. Heyman said his client has instructed him to find out if he has a problem he needs to deal with. Stephanie told Heyman that as a very shrewd businessman he therefore needed to choose his next words carefully. Before she could finish Seth Rollins walked out, sans briefcase. Crowd told him that he'd sold out. Rollins claimed nobody in The Authority had told him to run down and cash in, he did that on his own. Further, nobody suggested he Curb Stomp Lesnar. Rollins said he was disappointed that Hyeman didn't understand, as he was trying to create opportunity. Rollins said he thinks he speaks for everyone when he says nobody wanted to see Cena become Champion again. Rollins said he wanted to beat the best, and that's Lesnar. Crowd one again started chanting for "CM Punk". Rollins suggested that Lesnar should actually be flattered, however if he is offended, then from the bottom of his heart, he is sorry. Rollins and Heyman shook hands on it. Heyman vowed that if it happens again then he will be dealing with Brock Lesnar. Hunter confronted Heyma before he could leave the ring, intimidatingly saying he enjoyed their conversation. He wished Heyman a nice night. Rollins said he appreciates The Authority coming out to chastise Ambrose. But Ambrose isn't normal. He doesn't respond like normal people. He's probably laughing. Rollins demanded the briefcase be returned immediately. Ambrose turned up on the Tron, briefcase in tow. He said the Authority makes him sick. Rollins used to be a man, so if Rollins wants it then all 3 of them can go and get it off him. The Authority left the ring and headed backstage. Before the could get all the way up the ring, John Cena's music interrupted and he assaulted Rollins, chasing him off through the crowd. Rollins then found his way back to the stage, mocking Cena that he couldn't see him as RAW crashed to commercial.
We got a package on Susan G Komen from various superstars on what it means to them.
In the RAW office, Stephanie told Rollins that Ambrose was just playing mind games. Hunter demanded Jamie Nobel and Joey Mercury go find Ambrose and get the briefcase back. Nobel, in his first speaking role in AGES, asked for a couple of sledgehammers from Hunter. Triple H told him no, demanding they simply go off and get the job done no matter what.
Match 1: In the opening bout for the Intercontinental Championship, Dolph Ziggler defeated Cesaro and The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow) when Cesaro nailed an uppercut on Miz but Ziggler got the pin.
Joey Mercury and Jamie Nobel were both on the hunt for Dean Ambrose backstage, asking The Exotic Express, Big E (who was playing with lightbulbs for some unbeknownst reason) and The Great Khali if they'd seen him. Khali said he couldn't hear Nobel as he was too small.
We got a video on The Wyatt Family which focused on Luke Harper and ended with him saying "peekaboo...you’re doomed" .
Back in the RAW office, Mercury and Nobel told Hunter that they'd looked everywhere for Ambrose and haven't been able to find him anywhere. Stephanie McMahon noticed mustard on Nobel's mouth, and asked him if they'd been eating a hotdog or hamburger instead. Stephanie said that if they don't succeed in finding Ambrose then they will both be fired.
Back from commercial, Miz and Mizdow walked into the RAW office and confronted the McMahon's. Sandow, playing the role of Miz, said that what happened earlier was a travesty and he should have got a 1-1 rematch. An A-lister should not be in a Triple Threat match. Hunter, laughing his head off, said he loves 'this'. Things get stressful and then they come in and make him laugh. HHH announced Miz’s stunt double can have a match against Sheamus tonight. Miz meanwhile best be careful as his "Straight to DVD career" is going to end up straight at the unemployment line.
We got a clip from Total Divas of Natalya and her husband TJ's marital problems.
Match 2: Layla (w/Summer Rae) pinned Rosa Mendes (w/Tyson Kidd and Natalya) with the Lay-out reverse stunner. Tyson Kidd spent the entire match playing on his phone and wearing Beats headphones.
Ambrose with a bag and the briefcase was shown walking backstage, apparently on the way out to the ring.
Dean Ambrose made his way out from beside the stage. Ambrose chucked a black bag into the ring and then pulled out a table from under the ring and set it up in the ring, placing the Gold briefcase on it. Ambrose said he had been up in the concessions the entire time, even waving to Nobel and Mercury who were eating a hotdog or something. Ambrose said he didn't like how they run their concessions around here therefore he was going to have an 'Ambrose Clearance Sale' of his own. He said he had found some of Rollins' personal items. Turning his attention to the briefcase, Ambrose quipped that he never knew Rollins had that side to him, the joke presumably being it was filled with various sex toys. Ambrose then started auctioning off the WWE merch. Nobel and Mercury marched on down to the ring. Ambrose said they've sent the cruiserweight division out to get him. Cole found the line hilarious. Ambrose said that if they want the briefcase, then then can come into the ring and get it. They both backed off and headed to the back. JBL said something about Hand-to-knee combat, further burying the now defunct division. As he had stolen everything anyway, Ambrose decided he was going to give it away. He then began chucking merchandise to the crowd.
Rollins made his way out with a returning Nobel and Mercury, accompanied by 5 security guards. Ambrose asked if they were real security as he was positive they were Rosebuds last week. Ambrose then said fair enough, and left the ring, telling Rollins that he could have his briefcase back. Ambrose exited through the crowd. As Rollins opened the briefcase, green gloop sprayed all over Rollins' face and jacket. Nobel and Mercury tried to control their laughter. Rollins screamed that he looked like a jerk.
Rusev responds to The Big Show KO'ing on SmackDown. Hulk Hogan also returns to RAW later tonight.
Orton and Kane were laughing their tits off in the RAW office. A vibrating sound was heard emanating from the briefcase. Rollins' re-entered the room and said it was an electric razor, before grabbing the briefcase and leaving again. Everyone just awkwardly looked at each other. The joke being IT'S A DILDO.
Mark Henry said the past week has been emotional. He apologised to the crowd. Before he could finish Bo Dallas interrupted. Dallas said Henry should be apologising to himself. Crowd chanted "What?" again. Bo said Henry needs to close the Hall of Pain and enter the Hall of the Bo-Liebers.
Match 3: Bo-Dallas pinned Mark Henry with the Bo-Dog in 1:50. Yes, you are reading that correctly.
Renee Young congratulated Bo Dallas backstage. Mark Henry then turned up and destroyed Dallas, repeatedly running a trunk into him. "THAT'S WHAT I DO".
The announcers plugged the WWE Network. No mention of the UK launch whatsoever. Very odd.
Craziness with Goldust and Stardust backstage.
Nikki Bella walked out onto the stage, slagged off Daniel Bryan, and announced her sister would have to compete in a Handicap match.
Match 4: Brie Bella defeated Cameron and Eva Marie when Brie rolled up Cameron in a crappy affair. The crowd chanted for the announcers.
Titus O'Neil spoke about his Grandma, who passed away from cancer.
Adam Rose and his Robebuds were on commentary.
Matcn 5: Titus O'Neil and Heath Slater (w/Hornswoggle in a alligator outfit) defeated Los Matadores (w/El Torito) in a rotten match at 2:00. After the match El Torito was beaten up. The Alligator performed a 'gator role on Torito. Adam Rose made the save. Matadores put down Slater and then The Bunny splashed him off the top rope. Reverend Jackson was in the front row.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas made for Main Event tomorrow night.
Lana came out with Rusev. Lana told the crowd to shut up. She then started speaking in Russian. As she rambled on about the usual stuff, Big Show interrupted all jolly and overjoyed. Show said their propaganda machine works so well, yet we all know it's a bunch of crap. Crowd chanted "USA". Show told Lana that she "can't handle the truth". Show joked he had always wanted to say that. They aired what happened on Main Event and SmackDown.
Rusev said he would bite his ear and kick his groin before then breaking into Russian. Show shouted that nobody speaks Russian. Show said how about he go to the ring and knock down a white Russian. Rusev then bailed. After teasing it, Show tore down the giant Russian flag hanging over the ring. Rusev then charged the ring...Big Show immediately tossing him back out.
They recapped the night's trouble's with Dean Ambrose.
Renee Young interviewed John Cena backstage. He said he loves Chicago as they're loud. They booed. He said he is happy that he is fighting with Ambrose tonight rather than against. Ambrose then turned up behind Cena. Ambrose said after they're done with Orton and Kane tonight, Rollins' is his. Cena countered that he is the one doing the beatdown. Ambrose said nobody takes food off his plate, not even Cena.
Paige came out and cut a promo on AJ Lee, who was in the ring. Crowd chanted for "CM Punk" again. Paige introduced Lee's opponent, and her new best friend.
Michael Cole revealed that the UK launch of the WWE Network has been delayed, with the announcement coming 1st November 2014.
Match 6: In the 3rd Divas' match of the night, Alicia Fox pinned Divas' Champion AJ Lee in a non-title outing at 1:30. Paige then laid out Lee after the match.
We got the same video from earlier on Luke Harper.
They plugged the Steve Austin Show podcast again, with this week's guest being DDP.
Match 7: Sheamus pinned Damien Mizdow with the Brogue Kick in 5:00 after throwing Mizdow into the Miz, who was doing commentary.
Hulk Hogan made his way out to a big ovation, running wild in pink. He said it's hard to believe Hulkamania has been going for over 30 years. He said this is the 3rd year that the WWE has teamed up with Susan G. Komen. Hogan, almost forgetting his lines again, said the real inspiration are those attempting to find a cure for cancer. He requested everyone give a round of applause to the women in the front row fighting it. Hogan revealed that the WWE merch proceeds will go to Susan G and other organisations. 'Watcha Gonna Do with Komen Mania runs wild on you.'
Orton told Kane backstage he doesn't care about the stupid briefcase. Kane said the only operations he has directed are those started by Rollins. Stephanie walked in and said they're going to do their jobs. She told them that The Authority stands together, and that they need to man up and re-establish their dominance. Stephanie said the people are saying Orton and Kane have gone soft. Kane asked if that was the people saying that or just Stephanie. She replied does it really matter.
Roman Reigns will be interviewed next week on RAW; Rusev will also battle Big Show in a rematch from SmackDown.
Main Event: John Cena and Dean Ambrose vs. Kane and Randy Orton ended in another predictable Disqualification when Seth Rollins ran in and attacked Ambrose.
Ambrose then beat up Rollins until Cena took over. Both Ambrose and Cena got into it over who could fight Rollins, Ambrose chucking Cena to the outside. Ambrose was then dropped with an RKO by Orton, followed by a Chokeslam by Kane. Ambrose was finally Curb Stomped into the briefcase. Cena attempted to make the save but was also taken out with an RKO and Chokeslam. Cena then taking a Curb Stomp into the gold case. With the crowd chanting "Thank you Rollins" Rollins, Kane, and Orton celebrated in the ring to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 10/6/14 - The Rock Returns wrote:
Location: Barclay's Center; Brooklyn, New York
Commentary: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Seth Rollins bombed down to the ring to kick off Monday Night RAW. Seth asked the crowd if they thought what Ambrose did last week was funny. They naturally chanted "Yes!". Rollins said what was actually funny, and the real highlight of last week, was when he nailed Black Out on both Ambrose and then Cena onto the briefcase. Rollins had the truck play the footage on the Tron. Back in the ring, Rollins said that's what happens when he gets disrespected, as one thing you don't do is embarrass him. Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury came out and demanded Rollins leave the ring. Seth replied that what they don’t understand is that what he is doing is putting a target on his back, and that's what he loves & lives for. John Cena then stormed to the ring and managed to get a few shots in before Rollins quickly exited out into the crowd. As Rollins was busy goading Cena, none other than Ambrose appeared behind him. He then attacked Rollins, leaving Rollins trapped inbetween Ambrose in the crowd and Cena at ringside. Cena grabbed Rollins and threw him back over the barricade. Ambrose then deciding to leap off the guard rail, taking out both Cena and Rollins in the process. Noble and Mercury then got involved, allowing Rollins to head up the ramp. Crowd chanted "Ambrose". "King of Kings" struck and out strolled Hunter and Stephanie. Stephanie noted they were not going to let this show dissolve into chaos before it had even got started. Stephanie said that Rolins let his ego overrun his brain. As Cena and Ambrose clearly aren't working together on this, and they both clearly want an opportunity to face Rollins, one thing the Authority stands for is opportunity. Steph asked the crowd if they wanted to see Ambrose and Cena get their hands on Rollins tonight. Crowd chanted "Yes!". Hunter said that if the crowd wants it, then it'll be Dean Ambrose and John Cena teaming (again) to face Seth Rollins, Kane and...Randy Orton in a 3 on 2 Handicap match later tonight. Feel the creativity.
They replayed Big Show tearing down the Russian flag...according to Cole this caused an "international incident". They then showed Big Show apologising on SmackDown. Rather than Big Show vs. Rusev tonight, Rusev and Lana will respond to Big Show's apology. The Authority have ordered Big Show attend "sensitivity training" instead. Plans change...
The Usos were shown talking to Dolph Ziggler backstage. Ziggler it should note was wearing the Intercontinental Championship (possibly a replica).
The Usos cut an inset promo mocking Stardust and Goldust, "Bros before weirdos". Prior to the match starting, Jey Uso was ran shoulder first into the ring steps. Naturally, he then started the match (what kind of arse-backwards logic is that?).
Match 1: In an entertaining bout in front of a greatly energised crowd, Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & The Usos defeated Cesaro, Goldust and Stardust when Jimmy Uso pinned Stardust with a Splash off the top rope at 12:00.
They aired highlights of John Cena on the Today show earlier today from NBC.
Adam Rose and The Rosebuds came out accompanied by honorary Rosebuds, Hoda and Kathie Lee! They had a black carpet and glass table in the ring, along with 2 bottles of wine. Crowd were already booing like mad. One of them asked "What we do". To drown out the boos from an audience baying for blood, they kept Adam Rose's theme music playing throughout the ENTIRE segment. This was brutal. Like cringe worthy horrendous. They then turned up the music again so they could dance. Hona started dancing first. Kathie 'snuck up' on Hoda and smashed a gimmicked bottle of wine on her arse. Kathie then started dancing and Hona did exactly the same in return. Adam Rose got back in the ring and said he could see that they were definitely going to fit in around here. Kathie and Hoda then fell back onto the Rosebuds off the apron. The look on Hoda's face as she was being carried out was priceless. A torturous 8 minutes.
We got a vignette on Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper.
Match 2: In a rematch of a rematch, Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry in 2:00 via Count Out. Mark Henry was about to put Dallas through the announce table with the World Strongest Slam but Dallas escaped and ran into the ring.
Show's off the rails.
They replayed the opening segment. I think they legitimately now think people aren't watching the opening hour.
Dean Ambrose made his way out. As the crowd chanted "Ambrose", he said he couldn't sit back in the locker room any longer as something was bothering him, that being John Cena lately getting up in his space and he doesn't like it. Ambrose said that Cena is his partner tonight but then again he was supposed to be on Friday. They aired Cena chasing Rollins out of the building and leaving Ambrose all alone with Orton and Kane.
Ambrose said he had told Cena not to give him a reason not to like him, and he's trying really hard. So before they go to battle tonight, how about they settle it right now. Ambrose requested Cena's presence in the ring. Cena then made his way out. Crowd booed. He thanked them for a raucous introduction. John reminded Dean of what he said on SmackDown. Cena asked the crowd if this was the same Dean Ambrose who launched himself onto himself and Seth earlier. If we all understand Dean Ambrose then we are all clear. Cena went to leave. Ambrose said they're clear, as he doesn't give a crap about Cena, just as Cena doesn't give a crap about him, and he has no problem dropping Cena right now and taking on The Authority all by himself. Cena stepped back in the ring. Cena reminded Ambrose that the last time he tried that Ambrose was put out for 5 weeks. Cena said Ambrose has "something" and that something is guts; to say whatever the hell he wants. Cena reminded Ambrose that however has consequences. Cena reminded Ambrose not to give him a reason to dislike him back. They both starred at each other. Ambrose then told him that he was off to Coney Island to grab a hot dog and get on the Wonder Wheel. Ambrose wished Cena good luck tonight and walked off.
Back from break, the replayed the conclusion to what we'd just watched. During the commercial break, Dean Ambrose was shown getting on the Subway (BTW, never want to hear people complaining about the look of London Underground trains ever again).
Hunter approached John Cena backstage. Triple H, pretending to act sympathetic, said that was the problem with the kids today - they don’t understand the opportunities presented to them, to be given the main event on RAW, and to team with "the John Cena". Ambrose has left him hanging for a hot dog. He said that's what he admired about Cena, his resolve. HHH told Cena that Seth Rollins will start the match. Pointing at the shirt, Hunter told Cena to "Keep Calm and Never Give Up."
Match 3: With one armed tied behind her back, Brie Bella defeated Summer Rae (w/Layla) in 2:00 with a running Knee. After the match, the crowd chanted "Yes!" in unison with Brie. Nikki, who was watching on from the stage, stormed off backstage.
In the RAW Office, Kane was shown bemusingly looking at some fruit when Miz and Damien Mizdow walked in. Miz said it was organic, and the LA way of doing things. Mizdow was there mimicking every word and mannerisms. Kane said they don’t want apples, oranges, or apologies as The Authority sees through the both of them. Miz responded by saying that they gave him A-List fruit and this is the thanks they get? Miz asked if Kane was dense. Kane said the only thing that was dense was them coming into his office. Dense is not apologising to Sheamus for what they did on SmackDown, and dense is getting put into a match against Sheamus later & eating a Brogue Kick. Miz and Sandow then slinked off in a huff. Damien Mizdow then walked back into shot and took the fruit basket back.
Match 4: In a COMPLETELY NEW MATCH-UP, Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) tapped out Tyson Kidd (w/Natalya) with the Patriot Lock in 3:00. Kidd and Natalya continue to have marital issues.
Michael Cole shot to Edge and Christian at WWE HQ. They called Cole a "dorkjob", before then plugging "Edge and Christian's 15th Anniversary SmackDown Show that Totally Reeks of Awesomeness" which follows RAW tonight, exclusively on the WWE Network. For $9.99!
Michael Cole introduced Roman Reigns "Live via satellite". Guess plans changed. Again. He said things are doing a lot better & that the doctors are happy with his progress. Channelling Dave Meltzer he said "You Know" a lot. Roman said that he would rather be in Brooklyn, but he knows that it is only a matter of time until he is strapping that vest on again and kicking ass. And with the right attitude, focus, and positive attitude, that will happen sooner rather than later. Interview, if you can even call it that, wasn't very good, slightly stilted, and lasted all of a minute.
Match 5: El Torito (w/The Matadores) pinned Mini Gator (w/Slater Gator). Oh just strawberry float off. The crowd chanted "THIS IS STUPID" and booed like mad. At the desk after the match, Michael Cole had his head in his hands & then asked if they could just move on. Get the feeling McMahon was probably doing his nut on the headset...
Big Show was shown looking into space backstage.
Bo Dallas will challenge for the Intercontinental Championship against Dolph Ziggler tomorrow night on Main Event. If you've been following the product recently, these announcements mean nothing.
Rusev and Lana, wearing the tightest black suit imaginable, made their way out. Lana said today is the birthday of Vladimir Putin. She demanded everyone get on their feet for the Bulgarian brute. Lawler said nobody was standing. Everybody was, in fact, standing. She said Big Show has been suspended for desecrating the Russian flag last week, and that everyone should be in prison; for supporting Show, they've committed a hate crime. Crowd chanted "USA!" in response to that. Lana told them to shut up. Deja vu this programme. Rusev said something in Russian to "What?". Rusev, now in English, said America is no super power, America is in fact nothing. Big Show is afraid. Rusev then challenged Show to come to the ring so he could be crushed, calling Show and the fans cowards in the process. "If You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking...". FINALLY. The Rock walked out onto the stage, as the building completely lost the plot. "Rocky, rocky" filled the arena, Rock marching his way down the aisle and into the ring. Rock took his jacket off and looked ready to go. Crowd continued to go bananas. "Holy gooseberry fool" filled the building. WWE turned the audio UP. "Little different to the gator and the bull" JBL quipped on commentary.
'Rusev, Lana...right now you need to do two things. And that's know you role...', the crowd finishing it off, "and shut your mouth". Rock said at 4am he woke up and went "clanging and banging" in the gym. Just like Rusev, but with the only difference being he doesn't pull his shorts up all the way to his nipples. Rock got on a plane, flew to the Big Apple, landed in Queens, and took a cab to Manhattan. He then went to visit Lana's favourite place: the meat packing district. He then got into the water and swam to Staten Island, got on the number 4 train and headed to the Bronx so he could show respect to "The Captain" Derek Jeter. Crowd chanted "Derek Jeter". The Rock had one last borough to go to, crossing a certain iconic bridge, down to Atlantic Avenue, and finally driving right up to the Barclay Center...just so he could say "The Rock has come back...to Brooklyn". Lana stepped in and asked Rock just who the hell he thought he was interrupting 'the great Rusev'. Lana told him to shut up. Rock retorted that she needed to stop dressing like a "Soviet street walker". Rusev called Rock an "American piece of garbage", issuing him a final warning to leave now or be crushed. Rock called him a "chewbacca hairy bean bag". Turning his attention to Lana, he said she is beautiful. Gorgeous in fact. As they say in America, "smoking". It's a shame then that she walks around like she has a Smirnoff bottle up her Putin. Rusev started saying something in Russian but was immediately cut off with "It doesn't matter what you think". Rock said that they run down America; the people don't hate them because they're Russian. They're hated because they're a "couple of international a-holes". Crowd chanted "Asshole" at them both. Lana told Rock enough. Rusev took his medal off. Rock, to quote Jay Z, said 'allow me to introduce myself'. After repeated right hands, Rusev was sent flying over the top. "If you smell what the Rock is cookin'".
The announcers welcomed everyone watching for the first time Live on Fox Sports Latin America. The Rock came over and shook their hands. As The Rock celebrated with the crowd, WWE were more interested in recapping Ambrose leaving earlier.
With normal service now unfortunately resuming...
Match 6: Paige and Alicia Fox beat Divas' Champion AJ Lee and, having been released from Walmart, a returning Emma. Paige hit the RamPaige DDT on Emma after AJ walked out.
Vignette from Bray Wyatt on Erik Rowan. They're all going their separate ways. Bray said he fixed him & is now setting him free. They showed a pregnant woman's stomach, with "it's coming" then appearing in black ink.
Bruno Sammartino's birthday today; he's 79.
Match 7: The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow) beat United States Champion Sheamus in a non-title outing when Sheamus Brogue Kicked Mizdow off the ring apron and Miz rolled him up. After the match, Sheamus chased off the twosome with a chair. During the match, crowd chanted "Sandow's better".
We got a recap package of Hogan's promo last week about Susan G Komen.
Jerry Lawler asked the crowd to give an ovation to the women in the crowd who have conquered breast cancer. Journalist Joan Lunden came out on the stage to speak about her fight with breast cancer. She thanked Komen and the fans for allowing her to speak on RAW. Crowd politely applauded. She then listed all the women in the crowd, as they stood up to more applause. John Cena then walked out and hugged her.
Edge and Christian were back again to plug the Network, quipping that we no longer had to listen to that "bag of yoghurt" Michael Cole.
John Cena came out. The crowd amusingly sang "John Cena suuuucks" along to the music.
Main Event: John Cena vs. Kane, Seth Rollins and Randy Orton ended in Disqualification (well, duh!) when Kane walked in & booted Cena in the face, causing the referee to call for the bell.
After the match, Kane planted Cena with a Chokeslam. Dean Ambrose's music interrupted. He wheeled out a hot dog cart onto the stage & down to ringside. Ambrose took a bite of a hot dog, which was clearly TOO MUCH for Kane and Orton to take, as they stepped out of the ring and confronted Ambrose. Straight out of a Western, Ambrose revealed two holstered bottles, one of tomato ketchup and the other mustard. He then sprayed it all over Orton and Kane. Ambrose ran them both over with the hot dog wagon and then went straight after Rollins in the ring. Kane and Orton re-entered & attacked Ambrose, Cena making the save with an Attitude Adjustment to Orton, who was hilariously covered in mustard. Cena clotheslined Kane, Ambrose following it up with a suicide dive through the ropes to Rollins on the outside. Things now completely descending into WCW Uncensored territory, Ambrose proceeded to chuck the contents of the cart onto Rollins before then taking the metal tongs and grabbing Rollins' in the goolies. Back in the ring, Kane was also put out with an AA. Rollins meanwhile was slipping and sliding up the ramp. "King of Kings" hit once more, with Hunter and wife-dearest walking out. Hunter called it an "impressive mess". They announced that both men will in fact get a chance to fight Seth Rollins, but they will have to fight each other first to do so. At Hell in a Cell, John Cena will have to face Dean Ambrose, with the winner taking on Seth Rollins inside the steel structure. Stephanie said "either John Cena or Dean Ambrose will go straight to hell". In the ring, Ambrose decided to level Cena with a double arm DDT, standing tall over a fallen Cena to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 10/13/14 wrote:
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Monday Night RAW kicked off with Dean Ambrose making his way out. He said there is nothing he'd like more in this world than to be locked inside Hell in a Cell with Seth Rollins', so he can brutalise him to the point he'll wish he never even heard the name Dean Ambrose. However until he gets there, there is something really pissing him off, and that's 15 time WWE Champion John Cena. Crowd booed. Ambrose said that it's quiet clear The Authority want them both to tear each other apart so there's nothing left for Seth Rollins'. Ambrose vowed to rip the Contract down at HIAC, beat John Cena, and then bounce Rollins' head around the Cell like a basketball, and there's nothing The Authority can do about it. This brought out John Cena to the ring, happy as Larry. "So this is why they call it Hotlanta" to a mixed response. Cena told Ambrose to relax as the match is made, and it's two weeks from now; a match the WWE Universe wants to see because they know they both have a chance at winning, yet Ambrose is out in the ring talking trash. Cena questioned whether it was so he'd come out and Ambrose would leave him unconscious again? Or maybe it's so Ambrose can walk out again...or not. Cena gave Ambrose some 'veteran advice', in that he has the match of his life, so he should shut up and, instead of coming out acting all crazy, use the 2 weeks to get prepared for his match. Ambrose replied by sarcastically thanking 'the veteran' for the advice, calling him "big brother". Ambrose said he was born ready to kick Cena's ass. Ambrose chastised Cena for pretending to give a damn about him. Cena responded by saying if Ambrose tried to drop him again he would find out why he has been to the mountain top 15 times. Cena once again told Ambrose to "Pipe down" and use the time to get ready. "BEHOLD THE KING" filled the arena, and out strutted Hunter and Steph. HHH told them both to slow down, as they've still got 2 weeks until they can both rip each other apart, which we can all see on the WWE Network for $9.99! Stephanie said for their own personal amusement, how about Cena and Ambrose team together tonight. Triple H said the idea shocked him, as they wouldn't be able to get along for more than 5 minutes. Stephanie said she thinks they won't fight as they're both too afraid. Hunter and Steph then made a sarcastic bet and shook on it, to an undisclosed "standard" amount. Stephanie choosing 'No', Hunter 'Yes' to them brawling. Stephanie then revealed they would compete in a Triple Threat tag team match, next.
The whole upper deck is blacked out opposite to the hard camera.
Match 1: John Cena and Dean Ambrose defeated WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust and Stardust and The Uso brothers in 14:00 when Cena and Ambrose hit their finishers on The 'Dusts.
"King of Kings" played once more, Hunter and Stephanie walking back out onto the stage. Hunter gave Stephanie the princely sum of 1 Dollar for being right. Hunter said that he hates to be wrong, and maybe Ambrose and Cena didn’t have the right motivation. Triple H then stated that we should all forget about waiting until Hell in a Cell to see who gets the shot, instead the No Hold Barred Contract on a Pole match will happen TONIGHT.
They re-aired highlights of Rusev vs. Big Show from SmackDown a few weeks ago.
They re-aired highlights of AJ and Emma vs. Paige and Alicia Fox from last week's RAW.
AJ Lee cut an inset promo saying Layla is the diva she dislikes the least. They insincerely hugged.
Match 2: Divas' Champion AJ Lee and Layla defeated Paige and Alicia Fox at 2:00. Layla left AJ Lee high and dry but AJ got the pin on Fox with a Running Knee anyway. Layla tried to run away after the match but was ran into the barricades by Lee as payback.
They replayed Big Show pulling the Russian flag down on RAW.
Stephanie and husband Triple H were in the RAW office talking when Randy Orton walked in. Orton said that before he destroys Ziggler tonight, Rollins likes to say he is the future, then the future is a long way off. Rollins' also wants the spotlight, and that is fine just as long as he doesn't take his. He knows Dean or Cena can beat Seth any day, which is why he also wants a match at Hell in a Cell - in the main event - against whoever Rollins' isn't facing. The Authority agreed.
We got a vignette on The Wyatt Family, in particular Erik Rowan.
They congratulated themselves on Forbes ranking WrestleMania as one of the most important and valuable sports brands.
Cesaro was on commentary.
Match 3: In a non-title encounter, Randy Orton pinned Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler with an RKO-OUTA-NOWHERE! at 18:00. After the match Seth Rollins' Cub Stomped Ziggler for the hell of it while Orton seethed in the background.
They plugged the Steve Austin Podcast again.
Match 4: Seth Rollins' defeated Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) with a roll-up holding the tights at 15:00. After the match Randy Orton immediately ran into the ring and RKO'd Swagger while he was arguing with the referee. Orton and Seth Rollins then jaw jacked face-to-face.
We got a trailer for the WWE Network. $9.99.
Renee Young interviewed Dean Ambrose backstage. Ambrose said don't expect him to go out there and be a nice guy tonight, as he gets to put John Cena in his place two weeks early. Rollins' and Cena both are on the "Highway to Hell". Shame that isn't the theme tune...
Big Show was interviewed in his locker room by Tom Phillips. Showster noted that he revealed Rusev isn't undefeatable on SmackDown, and that Rusev also has a glass jaw. Tonight, he is going to shatter it. Bog Show vowed to show Rusev what he learned in Sensitivity Training.
Lana, having apparently holidayed in Essex this past week, buried America & Christopher Columbus. Crowd chanted "USA!". Rusev said just like Henry, he will fail his stupid Americans and crushed.
Match 5: In a good match - and no that isn't sarcasm - helped tremendously by an extremely hot crowd, Rusev (w/Lana) defeated Big Show by Disqualification when Mark Henry, pissed at having just been nailed by Rusev off the apron, ran in and waffled Rusev while he had Show in the Camel Clutch. On the outside, Show and Henry confronted Rusev in front of the announce table. After a brief brawl with Henry, Rusev turned around and was planted with a KO punch.
Renee Young interviewed Sheamus backstage. The only thing worse than Miz is 2 Miz's. Sheamus said Miz is like a bad rash that just won't go away. However he has a cure. Take 2 Brogue Kicks and call him in the morning.
We got a trailer for Chrisley Knows Best on USA Network. Looks absolute trash. Todd Chrisley was shown in the front row with his family. Tom Phillips interviewed him. 2 guys right behind him were continually motioning that Chrisley's a wanker. He sounds just like Mr. Garrison from South Park.
Match 6: The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow) defeated United States Champion Sheamus via Count Out in a non-title match. Mizdow and Miz both went to hide under the ring. While Sheamus was busy Brogue Kicking Mizdow, Miz re-entered the ring on the other side. Mizdow was hilarious on the outside throughout the course of this entire thing.
NeNe Leakes and the cast of Total Divas had an altercation backstage and reminded me I needed to take a leak myself.
Match 7: Natalya, Brie Bella, and Naomi (w/Rosa Mendes & NeNe Leakes) beat Cameron, Summer Rae, and Nikki Bella in a pile of gooseberry fool. Brie pinned Nikki off the X Factor.
The Uso's and Sheamus will team to face Miz, Goldust and Stardust on SmackDown.
Renee Young interviewed John Cena backstage. He said absolutely nothing new.
An extremely creepy vignette for The Wyatt's aired. "It's coming". Worth hunting out.
For the 3rd time tonight "King of Kings" blasted out of my TV, as Triple H and Stephanie McMahon made their way out to ringside.
The RAW IS WAR theme tune played as they plugged the beer truck episode on the Network.
Seth Rollins came out.
Randy Orton came out.
Corporate Kane came out.
Main Event: Dean Ambrose defeated John Cena in a really disappointing No Holds Barred Contract on a Pole match at 6:00 when everyone interfered. As John Cena was distracted giving Kane an AA, Ambrose climbed the pole and grabbed the contract.
Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton and John Cena starred each other down to near apathy from the crowd, taking RAW off the air! This came off really flat.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 10/20/14 wrote:
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
The Hell in a Cell structure began to lower to open Monday Night RAW and stopped halfway. Triple H, Seth Rollins, and Randy Orton made their way out to the ring. Hunter promised an "epic night" and said John Cena and Dean Ambrose will team tonight to face Kane, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins in a 2-3 Handicap Street Fight. And if they make it through tonight, Hell will literally be awaiting them on Sunday and we can all watch it on the WWE Network for $9.99. At HIAC, we will see the end of two of the most heated rivalries in WWE history (I'm sure they've been promising that every time Cena and Orton have had a bloody match). Seth said that he loves the moniker Mr. Money in the Bank but he wants a new nickname: The Undisputed Future of the WWE. Seth noted the most important word being "future", as that will be something Dean Ambrose doesn't have when he beats him in "THE" main event at Hell in a Cell. Naturally Randy Orton interjected, and they got into a mini-spat over who is the real main event. Triple H, trying to cool things down, said it will be a DOUBLE main event on Sunday. In something that makes absolutely no sense considering Dean Ambrose won last week, HHH announced the winner of Randy Orton and John Cena will receive a championship match against Brock Lesnar at an undisclosed time. Orton responded by saying today is turning out to be a great day, and while The Royals haven't won in 29 years (baseball), and they won’t win this year or for another 29 years, he will make Triple H proud tonight & on Sunday. He will then go on to beat Brock Lesnar. HHH closed by stating The Authority always wins.
They re-aired Mizdow's impression of Sheamus on Main Event last week.
The Miz was on commentary.
Match 1: Goldust, Stardust and Damien Mizdow defeated United States Champion Sheamus and The Uso Brothers in 10:00 when Mizdow rolled up Sheamus.
In the RAW office, Orton thanked Triple H. Orton said he isn't always the easiest person to deal with, but HHH did him right tonight. Orton vowed victory against Cena and then Lesnar. Hunter told him that it has been a long time coming, but it was all Seth Rollins' idea. A sceptical Orton said that he needed to go find Seth and thank him personally.
Another Wyatt Family vignette aired.
AJ Lee will defend the Divas' Championship against Paige at Hell in a Cell.
Match 2: Alicia Fox (w/Paige) defeated WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee in a non-title match when Paige and Alicia Fox staged a shoving match on the outside. Paige tossed Fox back into the ring...who ended up rolling up Lee for the win. Paige and Alicia celebrated after.
Randy Orton thanked Seth Rollins in Rollins' locker room. Orton asked why he was looking out for him as he didn't need any help and to stay out of his business. Seth replied by telling Orton that he can end his rivalry against John Cena and if a miracle happens and he beats Brock Lesnar, he will become WWE Champion. Seth, clutching his briefcase, said the future kind of takes care of itself. Randy replied by telling Rollins' the future will indeed take care of itself.
Hulk Hogan returns Live, exclusively on the WWE Network following RAW on USA.
For the 2nd time tonight, Randy Orton made his way out to the ring...Orton noted how it's not even the first time he and Cena have both been in the Cell together. He said it only seems like yesterday when it was 2002 and the both of them were making their WWE débuts; he was 3rd generation royalty while John Cena was just some punk from Boston.
John and Orton went on to become the top superstars of their generation - they were the progression from Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Piper, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, and The Rock and Steve Austin. Orton said that while he respects Cena, he is still that same punk kid. Orton quipped that Cena can take his hustle, loyalty, and respect and shove it up his ass. Orton vowed victory, and he'll savour every second. John Cena's music hit and he marched his way down the ramp and demanded Orton shut up. Cena said every time Orton opens his mouth all he proves is that he's the biggest dumb ass alive. John did a decrepit old man routine ('comedy') that ultimately led to Cena telling Orton this is no longer 2002 - the last time Orton was relevant. They talked about the World Series (baseball). Paul Heyman interrupted. Heyman said, despite WWE's best efforts to change history, the class of 2002 also featured Brock Lesnar; the man who conquered The Rock for the WWE Championship in 2002, and who is still the current reigning, defending, and undisputed WWE Champion in 2014. Heyman said the winner of the match on Sunday is irrelevant as they will ultimately be a loser because they have to step into the ring with the beast. John Cena then picked up Paul Heyman and was about to give him the FU, before changing his mind. Orton then gave Cena the RKO OUT OF NOWHERE! Orton screamed "Who's stupid now". As Paul Heyman was leaving, Stone Cold Steve Orton RKO'd him too. He picked up Cena's cap and threw it into the crowd, and celebrated.
Rusev and Lana were shown heading towards the ring backstage.
Match 3: In a rematch from Main Event, Rusev (w/Lana) tapped out Big E in 7:00 with the Camel Clutch. Lana cut a promo after the match on Big Show. Lana said Big Show should be in a circus, where people throw half eaten food at him and Show can wallow in his own excrement. Rusev said Show will fail his country and everyone will despise him for it. Afterwards, the Russian flag failed to fall from the ceiling. Big Show then appeared on the Tron with a cheeky grin on his face. Old Glory fell from the ceiling instead. Someone from THE ARMY then ran into the ring and stopped Rusev just as he was about to pull the US flag down...Rusev in return booted him in the face. WWE officials then checked on the downed serviceman.
Back from commercial, the Showster was in the ring looking all sad. He was close to tears. A "USA" chant broke out from the crowd. "There are certain lines you don't cross. You do not disrespect an American soldier...EVER. Rusev [DRAMATIC PAUSE]...Rusev you want my attention, you want to get in my head? My head is a very dark place to be. And what you just did will make me unleash wrath all over your head. At HIAC your 15 minutes in the WWE is up". Big Show then said to hell with Hell in a Cell, as he wants it right now. Show demanded Rusev come back out, as the crowd once more chanted "USA". Show said as he wasn't coming to him, he was going to him. He then stormed his way backstage. Show booted Rusev's locker room door open. He wasn't there. He stood there. He seethed. He left.
Dean Ambrose was shown watching See No Evil 2 in his locker room when John Cena walked in. Ambrose said he was doing research. Tonight Cena and Ambrose is like Superman teaming up with Batman. Ambrose's advice to Cena was just to throw punches at anything that moves. Cena said he likes it. Cena noted Ambrose isn't like Batman...more The Joker. Ambrose then sat back down and went back to watching the film.
Match 4: Brie Bella pinned Summer Rae with the X Factor in 4:00. Nikki watched on from backstage, appalled. Brie led the crowd in a chant of "YES!".
Dean Ambrose was shown backstage carrying 2 grey bags.
Following the break, Ambrose made his way out. Notice how on these 3 hour shows we now see the same people multiple times over. Ambrose said he has been having dreams and visions of what it'll be like to get that sell-out Seth Rollins in HIAC. Ambrose then pulled out a dummy of Seth Rollins' from the bags. Ambrose joked that Rollins is nothing but a puppet for The Authority. Katie Vick anyone...
Ambrose told the Rollins' dummy that he never enjoyed getting his hands dirty; so when they get in the cell together, he's going to rip off Rollins' hands. Ambrose pulled the hand off the dummy & slapped the dummy in the face with it. "You're a smart guy...you're no dummy". Rollins then pulled out a screw driver and rammed it into the dummy's head. He then beat it up with a hammer. Pulling out a saw, Ambrose said that in his dream he imagined chopping Rollins' testicles off. He remembered that Rollins' already sold them to The Authority. Ambrose pulled out a pair of tongs and grabbed the imaginary testicles. Ambrose finally piledrove the mannequin, its wig falling off in the process. Rollins' - as in the real one - finally came out, accompanied by Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. Ambrose asked the crowd to give a hand to Rollins', the biggest sell out...he then chucked the plastic hand at Rollins'. Rollins', acknowledging the crowd's "You Sold Out" chant, said it stings for them so much because he is from the Midwest too, but that is where the similarities end as he's better than the Midwestern pieces of trailer park trash in attendance who will never amount to anything. Mick Foley's music interrupted out of the blue. Foley came out, hobbling really badly. 'Just came by to visit an old friend', looking at the Cell hanging ominously above the ring. Moley said he also came down to congratulate the both of them on reaching their destiny. Mick surprised everyone by saying that he envisioned Seth coming out on top almost every time when he faced Dean in the ring. Seth, stepping into the ring, replied by telling Foley that he thought Mick had no redeeming values left, but it turns out he still has some good thoughts in his half working brain. Foley said that Seth is mistaken, as he did not focus on the word "almost". This is Hell in a Cell, and Ambrose has made his intentions clear: he wants to rip his face off. As Foley talked about his contributions to the business inside the Cell, "Thank you Foley" filled the arena. Mick told Seth that his career is in two distinct phases, pre-Cell and post-Cell. Tomorrow, the people of Kansas City will get the game they have been waiting almost 30 years for, but on Sunday night, Rollins' and Ambrose will get the match they have been waiting their entire lives for. Mick Foley concluded by telling them both to "Have a nice day". Ambrose then knocked Rollins' off the ring apron with the mannequin, before throwing it at the two stooges and Rollins', the 3 of them taking a tumble.
Match 5: In a non-title outing, Cesaro pinned Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler off an Uppercut in 10:00. After the match he planted Ziggler with the Neutraliser. Notice how all the champions in this company are completely useless & never win...
Rollins and Orton were arguing in the RAW office when Triple H stormed in. Hunter said as neither of them can get along, there will only be 1 General out there later, that being Kane. Kane then screamed that they both need to put aside their differences and give the lunatic fringe and the golden boy a taste of hell.
MizdowTV with special guest The Miz on the Hell in a Cell Kick-Off show.
We got a "By the numbers" run-down of Hell in a Cell.
The same Wyatt Family vignette aired once more.
Hulk Hogan was shown pretending to talk to Renee Young backstage. They're really doing absolutely nothing of worth with Hogan...
Main Event: Seth Rollins, Randy Orton and General Kane defeated John Cena and Dean Ambrose in an ill-thought out 3-2 Handicap Street Fight...in which everyone politely stood on the apron and had to TAG in and out...but only when they didn't. Kane ordered the Cell be lowered at around the halfway point of the match. Randy Orton momentarily lost it and shouted "strawberry float" at the top of his lungs when he went flying over the top rope and almost landed on one of the legs from a broken upturned table. Randy Orton RKO'd Dean Ambrose for the pin. As Orton was on all fours, Seth Rollins' gave him the Curb Stomp. Seth then celebrated on top of the Hell in a Cell to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 10/27/14 wrote:
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Less than 24 hours removed from Hell in a Cell, the RAW Zone as nobody now calls it opened with The Authority - Triple H, wife Stephanie, and Kane in the ring. Stephanie welcomed everyone to the show. She noted those that watched Hell in a Cell on the WWE Network got one hell of a deal, getting more than their money's worth at only $9.99. Triple H said that while it was a bitter-sweet night as Orton lost an epic encounter with John Cena, there was a man who they have referred to as the future of the WWE. Triple H then introduced the individual he described as "quickly becoming the standard bearer of WWE" Seth Rollins. Rollins - who was limping - came out, flanked by the two stooges Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. "You Sold Out" filled the building. "Man, you guys are the best" Rollins' told the crowd. Rollins said now that finally the lunatic fringe is out of his hair once and for all, he has proved that intellect is worth much more than someone who should be institutionalised in Dean Ambrose. Rollins said he is moving on to John Cena. Crowd began the duelling "Cena sucks" chant. Mocking his hand gesture, Rollins said that later tonight he will be able to 'see' John Cena, just like everyone else will able to see him when he's left like Dean Ambrose last night, laying in a puddle of his own failure. Randy Orton's music then hit and out he stormed. Orton said he was sorry to break up this little lovefest, but to hell with Rollins'. A seething Orton wanted to know why has had heard twice already that he lost to Cena last night; perhaps it was because he was Curb Stomped on RAW last week. Orton than jumped Rollins and both men got into a huge brawl. Everyone tried to break them up, Triple H screaming there was no way they were doing this tonight. Orton raged "I'll calm down when he's dead". Crowd chanted "RKO". Hunter immediately snapped back for them to shut up. Triple H ordered Orton to get on his bus and take the night off. As Hunter was continuing to speak, Orton pushed him aside and dropped Rollins with a Diamond Cutter & slithered out of the ring. Triple H stood there attempting to keep his cool. The two stooges helped up a completely dazed Rollins. The Crowd chanted "Yes!" Yes!"
John Cena will face Seth Rollins later tonight in the main event, making a complete mockery of the last month's worth of storylines...
They revealed Hulk Hogan will run wild on RAW later tonight.
Big Show and Mark Henry will team next to take on the Uso brothers for the titles.
They showed footage from the RAW Pre-show of Big Show and Mark Henry talking in the locker room. Show was seemingly blaming Mark Henry for distracting him last night in his match against Rusev. Nonetheless, Henry revealed he'd secured a tag team championship match for tonight.
Match 1: Goldust and Stardust retained the Tag Team Championships against Big Show and Mark Henry in 11:00 when Henry turned on Big Show and planted him with the World's Strongest Slam, dragging a downed Stardust - who just prior had been planted with a KO punch - onto Show for the pin. After the match Mark Henry hit Show with 2 further Slams and a Big Splash.
Roman Reigns' Exclusive Interview to come next.
Renee Young caught up with Mark Henry backstage and asked him why he just did what he did to Big Show. Henry claimed that he did to Show before Show did the same to him. Henry told Renee Show has always been jealous of him: always has been and always will be. Here's a feud I have no interest in seeing again...
We got a short package on Roman Reigns.
In a short interview "via satellite", the announcers talked to Roman Reigns. Reigns' said he feels great, and is getting stronger every day. JBL asked what he thought of Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins' at HIAC. Reigns' said it was exactly what he thought it was going to be. He then called Rollins' a weasel who will hide behind anyone, even Bray Wyatt. Reigns' concluded by saying that when he is cleared, he is going to make Rollins' the past. "Believe in that". This came across like an attempt to redo the awful interview they did with him last month.
Match 2: Divas' Champion AJ Lee rolled up Alicia Fox in a non-title outing at 3:40 after Paige shoved her. After the match, Paige kicked Alicia in the face and destroyed her around ringside, to the point Jerry Lawler stepped in.
They announced Cesaro will face Dean Ambrose later.
New Number 1 Contender to the WWE Championship John Cena strutted on down to kick off the second hour. "Lotta excitement in here tonight" apparently. Cena said his match last night against Orton may not be the last chapter (lets strawberry floating prey together, eh), but will certainly go down as one of the best. Two men went through hell to face The Beast and an opportunity to be the best. Cena said he has earned it, and while Brock Lesnar just sits at home thinking he's a champion, he's in the WWE every day fighting like a champion. Cena vowed Lesnar will lose...whenever he decides to come back, that is.
Cena said tonight in a city of champions they get a main event worthy of San Antonio; tonight Rollins gets a first class wake up call, and tonight Cena goes through the future. Stephanie McMahon smiled her way down the ramp. She congratulated Cena on his victory...as the crowd booed. Stephanie said she couldn't wait for the main event tonight, and she also can't wait until Survivor Series, where we will see a traditional tag team match for the low price of $9.99. Stephanie then presented Cena with a business proposition. Steph noted that Cena works so hard, and works equally as hard pandering to the crowd. Stephanie told him that he doesn't have to do this. Crowd chanted "Go Spurs, Go". Stephanie mocked the crowd, saying how easy it is to get them to cheer. Stephanie asked Cena if he hears when they're chanting "Cena sucks"? She said the point wasn't to offend him, rather the point was to talk him into doing what is best for business. Crowd now decided to chant "Cena". Steph, latching onto that, said that just because one arena decides to chants his name, that's going to move him? The people don't matter, as all they care about is seeing Cena tear himself apart and blood and guts. Something Cena does every single night. Stephanie told Cena that he could join The Authority, and while it may sound crazy, he could come to a place that would care and respect him. Crowd chanted "No!". Stephanie said he is going to face Brock Lesnar, a man that has handily beat him time and again...and left his carcass laying to the cheers of the fans. Maybe Cena needs a little bit of insurance, and maybe The Authority could help guarantee a victory. Stephanie asked Cena to think about it; maybe even tonight, the winner of his match could be the Captain of Team Authority at the Survivor Series. Stephanie told Cena he deserves the respect and to be apart of the family. Cena replied that all he deserves is to come down that ramp and do what he loves. As the crowd continued to cheer, Cena said the fans aren't there for him, instead he is there for them. Stephanie said that when he is gone, the fans won't even remember Cena's name. Cena told her that he will never be remembered as a low life sell out punk, and as that is something he never will be...the answer is "Hell no". KING OF KINGS filled the building. Hunter came out smirking. "Told ya". Hunter said Cena was always going to play the hero. Triple H reminded Cena he has been in the company 12 years...and it gets harder every single year, and Cena is starting to eke-by every single night hanging on by a thread, both physically and mentally. Crowd chanted "What". Cena can't fight the future, whether he wants to believe it or not. Hunter said it doesn't have to be as hard as it is now or is going to get. HHH noted the business is about longevity, & doing the right thing. Or Cena will end up the beat up old shell of himself who comes in for his one last hurrah. Hunter said Cena is smart, so maybe he needs to prove it to Cena that he cannot stop the future. Triple H said Cena can have it his way and work against the Authority; Team Authority will take on Team Cena...Cena will just have to find someone that is willing to stand with him against 'the system' because at Survivor Series Team Cena will be whoever he can find to support him. The future will ultimately run through Cena, whether it's tonight or not, as they control the future and The Authority is the future. Hunter concluded by telling Cena that he needed to smarten up to the fact The Authority always wins.
Match 3: The Uso Brothers defeated Damien Mizdow and The Miz when they pulled "twin magic" on The Miz.
John Cena was shown talking to Dolph Ziggler backstage. They shook hands on something...
Kane approached Dolph Ziggler backstage and told him that he had heard a report that he was seen talking to John Cena earlier. Clearly Kane isn't actually, you know, watching the show like the rest of us. Kane said as Director of Operations, that can only be deemed as an act of aggression on Ziggler's part, therefore he would like to make a certain blonde superstar squeal in pain & to end him. He then told Ziggler he'll see him in the ring later.
Hulkamania made its return to RAW with the arrival of Hulk Hogan. He signed a kid's sign on the way to the ring. Hogan said he can't wait to see Cena take on that "stinky beast" Brock Lesnar. Crowd booed. I wish this crowd would make up its bloody mind on Cena...Hogan said KomenMania has been running wild all month long & plugged the cause once more. He then invited all the pink-shirted ladies from the front row into the ring for a pose-down.
Bo Dallas was shown heading to the ring for his "open challenge" to the locker room.
Match 4: A retuning Ryback killed Bo Dallas in 1 minute with Shellshock. Crowd chanted "Feed Me More".
Mark Henry will be on MizTV tomorrow night on Main Event.
They replayed Orton from the WWE App telling Tom Phillips that as The Authority had failed to deal with Rollins', he dealt with it instead.
They re-aired the highlights from Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins from HIAC.
On the announce table, Dean Ambrose said that last night he went straight to hell and loved every second of it. Only problem when he got to hell was he found Bray Wyatt. Ambrose said he doesn't know how or why, and he doesn't care. It's a crazy world, and the laws of the jungle say you don't screw with someone whose claws are bigger than your own. Back in the ring, Ambrose then waffled Cesaro with the microphone.
Ambrose continued to assault Cesaro with the microphone all the way up the ramp. Ambrose screamed for Wyatt & demanded he get out to the ring so he could kick his ass. Bray Wyatt then turned up on the Tron. Wyatt said he understands it; he can't help but look at Ambrose and see a reflection of himself. Wyatt continued that the world isn't made for the both of them, and he isn't Ambrose's brother or friend. Wyatt vowed to dismantle Ambrose...and then told him to run.
Match 5: Nikki Bella (w/personal assistant Brie Bella) pinned Naomi with the Rack Attack at 4:00. How has nobody said anything about John Cena's girlfriend being a bitch...
As Michael Cole was flogging the ticket on-sale date for the Royal Rumble next year he noted it will in fact be 30 men in the battle royal.
Match 6: Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler defeated Kane at 13:00 in a non-title outing. After the match, Seth Rollins nailed Ziggler with the briefcase in the aisleway. With the two stooges also putting the beating on Ziggler, John Cena ran down to make the save.
A Divas' Halloween costume Battle Royal was made for SmackDown.
Main Event: In a great bout, albeit one featuring copious amounts of outside interference, John Cena defeated Seth Rollins (w/Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) at 22:00 via Disqualification when Kane ran in.
Afterwards, all and sundry came down...as in the ENTIRE WWE locker room. In a prelude to the Royal Rumble next month, everyone brawled in the ring as The Authority watched on from the stage. John Cena gave Heath Slater and Bo Dallas the AA. Cena then celebrated standing tall to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 11/3/14 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfied
Hot on the heels of UK fans being bummed in the gob over the WWE Network & the revelation that, despite sitting through over 3 hours of this rotten product, we're not even worthy of one of the main events tonight either, Monday Night RAW opened with the return of Vince McMahon to television, flanked by daughter Stephanie and Triple H. Vince asked if the crowd had missed him. He said that from the looks of things, everything has been well in hand since he left. He then asked the crowd to give it up for The Authority. They booed, leading Vince to say that it seemed like Hunter and Steph are under-appreciated. Vince then announced that the WWE Network would be free for all new subscribers this month, and therefore Survivor Series would be free too. Vince said that while Team Authority vs. Team Cena in a traditional 5 on 5 Survivor Series match is good, he wants to raise the stakes; he wants the next generation to feel what he feels, as he remembers when he beat the United States Government. And then there was Ted Turner, Time Warner, and WCW. He beat them all too. And then there was the fictitious battle with God...Vince revealed, much to the apparent surprise of Stephanie and Hunter, that should Team Authority lose that would be the end of The Authority in charge, and they'd no longer have any power. Crowd chanted "Yes!". Vince seemed confident however they'd get the job done. As they were making their exit Dean Ambrose's music hit and he made his way out. Dean and Vince met in the aisleway, shaking hands. HHH and Dean just looked at each other belligerently.
They announced Big Show will take on Mark Henry tonight.
In the parking lot Vince McMahon, about to get into his limo, was talking to Hunter and Steph. Vince said it felt great to be back, and he always likes surprises. Vince informed the both of them that he was sure he could count on them at Survivor Series. Amusingly he then told Hunter his tie was crooked. Hunter straightened it. As Vince then got in his car, Triple H asked his wife "What was that?". "I dunno, lets go figure it out" was the response...
Match 1: In a rematch from the Halloween SmackDown, Dean Ambrose pinned Cesaro in 12:00 with the Dirty Deeds DDT. During the first half of the bout, Cesaro got busted open the hard way. The lights went out in the building and after the commericial break Bray Wyatt appeared on the stage in his rocking chair. As Dean was about to go after Wyatt on the stage, the lights went back out and upon coming back up, Bray had vanished...just leaving the chair rocking back and forth on the stage. The cameraman had obviously pushed it...
In the RAW office, Stephanie was telling Hunter that when they go out later they need to be all confident, and they have got to put together the strongest SS team there has ever been. She then asked who Hunter was texting. He replied that he was texting Randy Orton. Stephanie couldn't believe he was contacting the guy that defied them and then RKO'd Seth. Hunter reminded his wife that was before her Dad got involved and decided to make them stronger. Steph just looked on in disgust.
Match 2: The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow) defeated Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso) at 5:00 with the Skull Crushing Finale after he was distracted by an altercation happening between Jey and Mizdow on the outside.
Match 3: Tyson Kidd (w/Natalya) defeated United States Champion Sheamus via Count-Out in a non-title match after Kidd used his wife as a human shield on the outside and blocked Sheamus from beating the count. Rusev and Lana were shown watching the match from the back. Afterwards, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Tyson.
The entire Authority made their way to the ring to open the second hour. Dolph Ziggler, who was in the ring ready for action, looked on. Stephanie said they're all ecstatic about her Dad's announcement earlier as, unlike most people who aren't willing to stand up for what they believe in, they're winners. At Survivor Series they're going to put together the strongest team in history, with Seth Rollins, Kane and Randy Orton forming 3 members of Team Authority. Hunter said Ziggler is free to do what he wants and side with who he wants, but before he does so he needs to question a few things. HHH told Dolph that, should Team Cena win, who do you think will get the credit? Will it be Ziggler? Or does Cena just come out of it looking like an even bigger hero. Or the other scenario, and that's Cena's team loses - who takes that heat? Is Cena going to take the blame, or is he just setting Ziggler up for the loss so he can blame him. Hunter reminded him that every time he rises up to the top, no matter how much Ziggler busts his ass, John Cena is the one that keeps on getting the credit, and while you can call it a glass ceiling, Ziggler certainly 'can't see' through it, let alone break it. Triple H said Cena cares so much about his supposed team he isn't even on the show tonight. Maybe Ziggler does take the gamble, and it gets him the championships, the girls, the money, and everyone's adulation. Steph chimed in that was an awful lot of maybes. Hunter said Ziggler could pick up the phone and tell Cena that it's a no; that if Ziggler wants to get rid of all the maybes, he can tell Cena no and in return have anything he wants. Ziggler mulled it over, before telling The Authority what he really wants is them out of power for good. Hunter replied that was too bad, as he really wanted to give the crowd what they wanted. Hunter mocked that when all the 12 year old's start tweeting, don't blame him, blame Ziggler. As punishment, he then put Ziggler in a match against Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship, next. HHH wished Ziggler luck...as he was going to need it.
Match 4: Seth Rollins (w/the two stooges) defeated Dolph Ziggler by Disqualification in 16:00 when, right after hitting the Curb Storm, Randy Orton ran in and RKO'd Rollins. Kane stormed out and asked what Orton was doing, Randy walking right past him up the ramp.
In the RAW office, Stephanie was telling Hunter that they can't trust Randy Orton. Speak of the devil, Orton then stormed in saying that he wasn't making a statement, he was asking for a favour. He wants Seth Rollins tonight. Stephanie asked why they'd do that when they're Co-Captains. Orton, bemused, said that was the biggest load of garbage he'd ever heard in his life and maybe he should join Team Cena instead. Orton told them both that he did what neither of them had the guts to when he put Rollins away last week. Hunter told him enough, as he needs Orton on Team Authority. But he also needs Seth Rollins, as everything is now on the line. He needs The Viper. Demanding Orton look at him, he agreed to give Orton Seth later tonight. Hunter demanded however that when it was over, they're going to all pat each other and go to war together at Survivor Series. And win. Orton and Triple H then shook on it.
In a very creepy video that I think was for Erik Rowan or Luke Harper, a load of eyeballs appeared with the message "Everything is shared". The ominous voice vowed to piece himself back together with pieces of others.
Titus O'Neil cut a promo in the ring. He said at Survivor Series winning will officially be spelt "T.I.T.U.S". He was cut off by the arrival of Ryback.
Match 5: Ryback pinned Titus O'Neil in 2:00 with the Shellshock. The Authority were shown watching on from the office.
Renee Young interviewed Big Show backstage. Show opened by saying that if Cena needs the World's Largest Partner, he would be honoured to be on Cena's team. Moving on, he said Henry betrayed him like he couldn't believe. A man that has been in his house, ate at his table...(more like ate the table). Show concluded by saying there was a part of him that misses his friend...but there was also a part of him that just wanted to knock Henry out of his life.
Buffalo Bills players were shown watching in the front row.
They plugged the Network for the 100th time. No, they haven't mentioned the UK yet.
Match 6: In a lethargic, piss poor encounter devoid of crowd heat, Big Show defeated Mark Henry in 6:00 by Disqualification when Mark Henry nailed Show with the steel stairs on the outside. After the match Henry gave the Showster the World Strongest Slam on the steps.
In the office, Stephanie said Mark Henry has that Ruthless Aggression required for Team Authority. HHH asked Kane to go find Henry and see if he's interested. Stephanie was still worrying about the Seth and Orton situation. Hunter reminded her that sometimes guys just have to be left alone to get these things out of their system. Hunter told Stephanie to trust him.
Divas' Champion AJ Lee was on commentary.
Renee Young interviewed Brie Bella backstage. Nikki turned up and said this interview was over before it had even started as she hadn't given her sister permission. As Renee was about to shoot back to ringside, Erik Rowan appeared and called Renee Young pretty. Renee, confused & somewhat freaked out, thanked him and walked off.
They re-aired highlights from the Halloween Battle Royal from SmackDown. Nikki Bella is the new Divas' Number 1 Contender.
Match 7: Nikki Bella (w/Brie) pinned Emma with the Rack Attack. Crowd briefly chanted "CM Punk". After the match Nikki ordered her sister to slap AJ Lee on the outside. AJ Lee retaliated by clobbering Brie. The cameras missed the latter completely so they had to replay it.
We got a vignette for Xavier "a new day is coming" Woods, who appears to have been given a singing Church Minster/Preacher gimmick. He was joined by a female gospel choir.
Match 8: Rusev (w/Lana) demolished some bloke called Zack Ryder in a minute with the Camel Clutch. After the match Lana cut a promo and told the crowd to shut up, & said tonight they'll fulfil the directive of Putin to bring home the United States Championship. Rusev said Sheamus will hurt, beg, and suffer. Crowd chanted "What?". Too Many Limes came out and said he takes tremendous pride in wearing the US title. Shay Moose vowed Rusev would be in for the fight of his life on the Network later. Crowd sat on their hands.
Backstage, Stephanie told Rusev and Lana that the victory earlier was very impressive. As Rusev has never been pinned, they would be honoured to offer Rusev a position on Team Authority. Lana said they will talk to Putin and, as 'you Americans say', they'll get back to her.
Mizdow and Damien Sandow were on commentary. The commentators had a field day taking the piss out of Miz for continually stumbling over his words.
Match 9: Fernando (w/Diego and El Torito) pinned Stardust (w/Goldust) with the Backstabber in 2:00.
The Authority were at ringside.
They announced The Uso's will take on Goldust and Stardust for the Tag Team Championship inside a Steel Cage on SmackDown.
Main Event 1: Seth Rollins pinned Randy Orton at 13:00 in an okay match with a backslide.
In a very long over-run, Orton went over to Stephanie and Hunter on the outside and asked them what they now wanted him to do. Kane, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury congratulated Rollins in the ring. After attempting to compose himself, Orton shook everyone's hand in the ring before finally getting to Seth. They shook hands and embraced, Seth apologising for what had happened. Orton then said he was sorry too...and gave Rollins an RKO. He then went about dispatching everyone from the ring. Hunter entered and both men went face-to-face in an attempt to calm Orton down. Orton then lost it again and punched Triple H in the face, and brawled with everyone once more. On the outside, Orton RKO'd Mercury and continued to attack Rollins' on the announce table. Kane and Noble intervened, allowing Rollins to hit Orton with the Curb Stomp onto the table, busting him open in the process. Triple H ordered everyone to back off. Stephanie and Triple H whispered something to each other. Stephanie ordered everyone to 'finish it'. Triple H, torn, begrudgingly went along with it. Hunter and Steph made their exit up the ramp, leaving the others to continue the beating. Seth Rollins gave another Curb Stomp to Orton onto the steel stairs. With Triple H and wife Stephanie watching on from the stage, the rest of The Authority stood tall over a dismantled Orton.
WWE Network Exclusive
Randy Orton was stretchered out by the medics.
Main Event 2: In a match I didn't watch, Rusev (w/Lana) defeated Sheamus with the Camel Clutch to capture the United States Championship. It says here. Rusev and Lana celebrated in front of the Russian flag to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW from Liverpool Results November 10 2014 wrote:
Lilian Garcia kicked off RAW with the National Anthem, "God Save the Queen". There are already thunderous "Where's our Network?" chants filling the building.
John Cena made his way out. The crowd sang "John Cena sucks" along to his theme music. "Where's our Network?" chant throughout the majority of his promo. Cena revealed Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler would both be on his team at the Survivor Series. Swagger will face off against Seth Rollins later tonight. Cena then called out Ryback to the ring to discuss tonight's main event. The Authority instead interrupted with Triple H and Stephanie leading the way, alongside Kane and Seth Rollins. Mark Henry was also out with them. Stephanie McMahon announced Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler for tonight. "This is for beating me in 2013" - Ryback then planted Cena, much to the delight of The Authority.
Match 1: Seth Rollins defeated Jack Swagger with a Curb Stomp. After the match Rollins hit a second Curb Stomp on Swagger.
The ring curtain says "WWE Live" rather than "WWE Network".
Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose is confirmed for Survivor Series. Ambrose backstage said he faces demons greater than Wyatt every time he steps into the ring, and at Survivor Series, there will be a special place in hell for the both of them.
Segment with Kane and Ryback backstage. Kane tried to rally Ryback but Ryback responded by telling Kane that he has his own back and isn't worried.
Match 2: Paige defeated Alicia Fox. Big ovation for Paige.
Rusev (w/Lana) in-ring US Championship Coronation ceremony. The red carpet is out in the ring. Sheamus ended up interrupting.
Match 3: In a United States Championship rematch from last Monday's RAW Network exclusive, Rusev defeated Sheamus. They brawled to the floor after the match and The Authority made the assist for Rusev. Stephanie congratulated Rusev after asked if he was joining the team for Survivor Series, which he does.
Match 4: The Miz and Damien Sandow (w/Hornswoggle) defeated Los Matadores.
John Cena and Dolph Ziggler were both backstage when Triple H interrupted and banned John Cena from ringside for Ziggler's match against Henry, next. Triple H said Jack Swagger is also out of Team Cena. Triple H then asked "What's that song? Another one bites the dust?" That caused the crowd to start singing along.
Match 5: Dolph Ziggler defeated Mark Henry by Disqualification when Henry used a steel chair. Henry beatdown Ziggler after the match until Big Show ran down to make the save. Show revealed he's on Team Cena.
Backstage, Sheamus was welcomed onto Team Cena.
Match 6: AJ Lee defeated Brie Bella in another boring match, in which the crowd chanted "boring". Nikki Bella attacked AJ after the match and posed over her with the Divas Title.
Backstage segment with Ryback and Mark Henry talking about their WrestleMania match. Henry welcomed Ryback to Team Authority.
Match 7: Tyson Kidd defeated Adam Rose when The Bunny once again distracted Rose. Rose attacked The Bunny after the match. Erick Rowan appeared at ringside during the bout for seemingly no apparent reason.
Main Event: John Cena defeated Ryback in a horrible 20 minute encounter when Kane came into the ring and he and Ryback had words. Seth Rollins then got in-between them. Ryback nailed Rollins, Kane nailed Ryback to cause the Disqualification. Team Authority then beat down John Cena. The rest of Team Cena came down to make the save but they got taken out also. Ryback made a comeback and cleaned house on The Authority. Ryback then walked out to close the taping.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 11/17/14 wrote:
Location: Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
The go-home edition of RAW kicked off with The Authority making their way out, alongside their Surivor Series team. Hunter said that 3 weeks ago, the Chairman and CEO of WWE, Vince McMahon, came to the ring and added a stipulation to the match at Survivor Series; the stipulation being that if The Authority lose then they would be out of power. Hunter said we're all sheep. When Vince comes to the ring everyone cheers him, and yet years ago when he was the evil "Mr. McMahon", we booed. Now that The Authority has taken that role they are seen as the 'evil empire'. We'd rather have the inmates like John Cena and Dolph Ziggler run the asylum. Triple H then noted that the last time the inmates ran the asylum it was called WCW...The Authority won't let that happen again. In-spite of their best attempts to get Team Cena on side, they now have no choice but to decimate them all tonight. HHH said by the end of the night they'll have the biggest contract signing in the history of WWE, and by the end of the night they'll find out who has the guts to show up, and who is left standing. Stephanie then went through their own team, bigging them up. Team Cena in comparison seems to be one member down. Stephanie moved onto Ryback, saying negotiations don't always meet personal expectations. Ryback then interrupted. Crowd chanted "Feed me more". Ryback on the stage said while The Authory may want what is best for them, Cena wants what is best for the WWE Universe, he just wants what is best for him. Stephanie said that tensions ran a little high last week, and they regret some of the things that happened. She then had Kane say he regretted what ultimately transpired. Stephanie said that Ryback doesn’t have to believe her, but does he really want to join a man who has no respect for him? They then accidentally put up the Superstars graphics while replaying Cena verbally burying Ryback from last year's RAW. Stephanie claimed the footage doesn't lie, and while she doesn't know why Cena said those things, her best guess is that Cena is jealous of Ryback. She then asked if he wanted the contempt from Team Cena or the respect of Team Authority. Ryback replied he plays for the team he can count on, and that's Team Ryback. He then went backstage. Triple H said that was a wise decision. As for everyone else the decimation starts right now. And that begins next with Luke Harper facing Dolph Ziggler.
Lilian Garcia revealed that, during the commercial, she had been notified the following match would be for the Intercontinental Championship. Prior to the bell Ziggler was attacked by the two stooges and Seth Rollins, who struck him with the MITB briefcase.
Match 1: Luke Harper defeated Dolph Ziggler with the Clothesline From Hell in 8:00 to capture the Intercontinental Championship. After the match Seth Rollins nailed Ziggler with the Curb Stomp. Where the rest of Team Cena were is anyone's guess...
The announcers plugged the WWE Network...and then Grumpy Cat, who is the special guest tonight.
We got a Kofi Kingston vignette with the gospel choir.
Backstage, Miz said that "they" will be the blockbuster of Summer 2015. Miz, alongside his stunt double, then cut a Hollywood-trailer style voice over...the camera panning back to reveal Grumpy Cat. Miz asked the cat what he thought. Mizdow then pulled out Grumpy Stuntcat (a soft toy). Miz said that Grumpy Cat is just like everyone else sitting there with a smug look on its face. Miz told the cat the last time she had a good idea, it was left in the litter box. Miz and Mizdow walked off...until Miz returned and told the cat he follows her on Facebook. Crowd was heard booing in the background. Jerry Lawler lost it on commentary when he said Grumpy Cat looks like she'd seen one of Miz's crappy movies.
We got a trailer for WWE 2K15. Well...not us. Sky went to break.
Match 2: Tyson Kidd tapped out Adam Rose with the Sharpshooter in 2:00. Rose asked for help but The Bunny was too busy flirting with Natayla on the outside. After the match Rose went to attack The Bunny but he slipped behind and mimed doing Rose up the arse. No, that isn't a typo. Lawler could barely contain himself. Again.
We got a package on fans buying tickets to WrestleMania 31.
Bray Wyatt announced his arrival as we crashed to break.
Bray Wyatt made his way out to the ring for a promo. He claimed they've been lying to us from the very beginning. They said that love will make us rich, more than any dollar bill ever could. They said that love was the most precious gift you could receive, but what they never told us was that everything you loved could be taken away at the drop of a hat. A man that has nothing to love or nothing to lose is the most dangerous man in the world. Bray continued that Dean Ambrose every day makes a pathetic attempt to show love out of obligation, not out of desire. Dean however will always be alone, and that if he takes anything away from this, he prays that Dean will not mistake his generosity for something malignant. Bray claimed that he actually comes in peace, and while he knows that Dean still feels the torment he has suffered at his hands, that suffering was a gift. A mother who drowned herself in her own misery. A father who abandoned him, and a life of desolation. Bray vowed that Ambrose can be saved. Dean Ambrose then interjected on the TitanTron. Ever the long, meandering words that come out of Bray's mouth (boy, ain't that the truth), he hears them all. Dean said it's like nails down a chalkboard. Dean then revealed to Bray that he had learned a spooky magic trick of his own. Dean then mocked 'Oooooh' sounds and mannerisms, before telling Bray that his trick is a magic video recording...because he filmed this earlier on his friend’s phone. The lights then suddenly went up and Ambrose appaeared in the ring and attacked Wyatt, sending him to the floor. Dean took the microphone and said he doesn’t need any saving, and all Bray needs to worry about is saving himself at Survivor Series.
Match 3: Ryback pinned Cesaro off Shellshock in 14:00.
Renee Young interviewed John Cena, who was watching the match backstage. Cena vowed to remove The Authority from power on Sunday.
Lana cut a promo and asked the crowd if they'd like to see her topless photo. It turned out to be Putin topless on a horse. Heath Slater came out dressed as Uncle Sam and said everyone wants Lana to shut up. "Ding...Ding...You Son Of A Bitch". Before he could get in any offence, Rusev then flattened Slater.
Match 4: United States Champion Rusev (w/Lana) tapped out Heath Slater in about 30 seconds with the Camel Clutch in a non-title outing.
The Miz and Mizdow were once again backstage with Grumpy Cat trying to convince the cat of a movie role when Erik Rowan turned up and demanded the cat. He then took the stuffed toy version and walked off.
Big Show made his way to the ring for action. Stephanie McMahon then came out and and reminded Show that when he débuted in the WCW, he was billed as being Andre The Giant's son. And that has always been Show's problem; he's always been in somebody's shadow. Stephanie noted how he has always wanted to be "the guy" and "the main event", but he thinks it's up to the crowd. In reality it's up to The Authority. Stephanie said that if Show leaves Team Cena he will be the only active competitor to be inducted into the 2015 Hall of Fame. "A giant honour for a giant of a man". Show responded by telling her "No". Sheamus interrupted, and told Stephanie that he too is proud to be on Team Cena. Stephanie said she was glad he had come out, as there had been an issue with his passport, and that he isn't actually an American citizen. Therefore it would be a shame if something were to happen to his visa. Stephanie then revealed that he'd have to face Big Show, next...with the winner receiving a WWE Championship match against Brock Lesnar at an unspecified date.
Match 5: Big Show vs. Sheamus ended in an apparent No Contest when Rusev and Mark Henry ran in and demolished both men. Mark Henry put Sheamus through the announce table with the World Strongest Slam and Rusev applied the Camel Clutch to Big Show in the ring. Where John Cena was during all of this was never mentioned...
The crowd have been unbelievably dead during the matches on this show.
"The new and Improved" Fandango (w/Rosa), Paul Heyman, and Wade Barrett will all be on the Survivor Series Kick-Off Show.
Match 6: Brie Bella pinned Nikka Bella, who was dressed and acting as AJ Lee, in a rigged rigged "exhibition match" when AJ Lee - who was on commentary - distracted Nikki and Brie disobeyed orders and rolled up her sister from behind. Nikki then assaulted Brie, until AJ made the save. AJ Lee then beat the both of them up.
The commentators hyped WWE 2K15, out tomorrow on Xbox One and PS4.
Back in the gospel choir, Big E preached the word & claimed a new day is coming.
Cena asked Ryback backstage in the locker room if he has thought any more about joining his team. Ryback replied that he not only can't see Cena, he can't see his team either. Cena said that Ryback isn't stupid, he's just being selfish. And for a man who wants to be fed more, when he is actually given the chance to sit at the big table, he isn’t hungry. Cena then walked off, leaving Ryback to contemplate his words.
They replayed the confrontation between Bray and Ambrose from earlier.
The Usos, Los Matadores, Miz and Mizdow will all challenge Goldust and Stardust in a Fatal Four Way for the WWE Tag Team Championship at Survivor Series.
The "Dean Ambrose Survival Kit" billed for SmackDown.
Main Event: Miz, Mizdow, Stardust and Goldust defeated The Usos and Los Matadores at 12:00. Highlight of the match was Miz taking a double hiptoss and Mizdow then running in and hiptossing himself.
Larry The Cable Guy is the Guest Star next week. Bet you can't wait.
Triple H and wife Stephanie made their way out for the contract signing, accompanied once again by Team Authority. Triple H said that while Cena and us fans love the WWE, we actually have no idea what it's like for him. Every fibre of what they are is this business. Triple H turned to his wife and said they cannot lose. Stephanie replied that they won't. Stephanie introduced Team Cena...literally just John Cena by himself.
After a very long promo from Cena that resulted in him walking around the ring choosing fans to be on his Team at Survivor Series, Stephanie ended up slapping him across the face when he said herself and Triple H will be spending the rest of their time in WWE cleaning the toilets. Just as it looked like Cena was going to have to face off against Team Authority all by himself, Ziggler came out, followed by Big Show and then in a shocker, Erik Rowan. Stephanie said even with 4 guys, it's still career suicide. She then gave them all one more shot at changing their minds. Crowd chanted "feed me more". Cesaro then walked out. After initially making out he was teaming with Cena, he walked on over to Team Authority. Stephanie cackled about the look on all their faces. "Any more surprises" she joked. Cue the arrival of Ryback. Everyone got into a massive brawl...to relative silence from the crowd. Triple H was about to Pedigree John Cena when Ryback got in the ring and the both of them stared each other down. Cena then ran back into the ring and gave Hunter an AA through a table. With Team Cena celebrating, Stephanie checked on her fallen husband to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 11/24/14 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Monday Night RAW opened with desk-jockeys "The Authority", Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, making their way out. Steph began by stating that none of the crowd knew how to be leaders or accept responsibilities for their actions, unlike them - which is why they're at RAW tonight. She noted that Team Authority would have won too had it not been for one man who had never stood in a WWE ring until last night, and that man is Sting. And thanks to her father, the only man who can put them back in power is John Cena. She said that at the end of the day they both still have their corporate responsibilities...and each other. Stephanie, breaking down, said she hoped everyone had a nice Thanksgiving with their families. Triple H stepped in & asked the crowd if they enjoyed seeing them humbled and humiliated, and called everyone bullies. HHH told them all to be careful what they wished for as he knows there is nobody that can handle the power. We know nothing about finance and commerce, supply and demand; it takes a leader to make decisions on what is best for business. And who is going to make those decisions now. John Cena? Dolph Ziggler? Or maybe Sting? Hunter said he wasn't sure why Sting decided to come back and stick his painted face in their business; maybe it was so he could stand in the ring with him for 30 seconds, or an attempt to make his name relevant again somehow. Triple H said it may have been Sting's first night in a WWE ring, but it would also be his last night because while he ensured The Authority isn't in power, what he also did was cement the demise of the company. The WWE has 2 or 3 weeks at best. Triple H continued that we have the luxury of not knowing what they know. While their existence was seemingly grotesque and reprehensible they were the right decisions to maintain the juggernaut, and without The Authority there is no John Cena, Dolph Ziggler, no Ryback, and no WWE fans. "So congratulations", as what are we all going to do when RAW no longer exists? We're just going to have memories of our day and own personal failures. Hunter then asked the crowd to cheer, because they were now going to leave, and to mark his words, as we will all be begging for them to come back. None other than Daniel Bryan's music then hit and he made his way down to the ring leading the crowd in chants of "YES! YES! YES!". Triple H and Stephanie then left. In the aisle Daniel Bryan cut them off and continued to chant "YES!" in their faces.
Back from commercial, Daniel Bryan was still leading the crowd in chants of "YES!". He said having the ability to kick The Authority out of the ring felt good. Bryan noted he had been put in charge of running RAW for the night. While he has made it that Team Authority come out to the ring, it doesn't mean they're bad people. The crowd booed anyway. Out came Seth Rollins, flanked by Noble, Mercury, Kane, Rusev, Luke Harper and Mark Henry. Bryan told them that as he isn't a spiteful man, he isn't going to strip them of titles or put them in unfair matches. Bryan said Rollins is used to competing in handicap matches, so tonight wasn't going to be any different. Tonight he will compete in a 3-2 against John Cena and the man who single handily changed history, Dolph Ziggler. I think the crowd expected Sting. Seth Rollins took the microphone and said whether Bryan likes it not, he is still the future of WWE. Rollins asked who his 2 partners were going to be, Hornswoggle? El Torrito? Michael Cole & JBL? Daniel revealed the WWE Universe were going to choose on the WWE App. Team A: Mark Henry & Luke Harper. Team B: Mark Henry and Kane. Or Team C: Bryan asked Rollins to move to either his left or right on the stage. As he did so, he revealed Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury standing behind. Bryan said voting would start right now. Rollins responded by saying that they're not even real security...before quickly correcting himself to "they're just security". Bryan moved on to his long time buddy Corporate Kane. Bryan joked if only Doctor Shelby could see them now, what would he think? Bryan asked the crowd if Kane should still be the Director of Operations. They naturally chanted "NO!". Bryan said Kane should therefore be Director of Food and Beverage. And instead of Corporate Kane, he'll now be Concessions Kane. Bryan asked someone from the back to bring out a hair net and tray. After a sort wait, a man came out with a tray of popcorn and hotdogs. Bryan then moved onto Rusev and Lana. Bryan said Rusev needs to be a little bit more patriotic towards the US. Rusev can either compete in a company wide Battle Royal for the US Championship, or he can come down to the ring with a big US flag in the background & pledge his allegiance to the United States of America. Crowd chanted "USA". Rusev and Lana then stormed off. Onto Luke Harper, who won with the help of security last week. Tonight he will be facing Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental Championship. That then left Mark Henry on the stage. Bryan said a "big guy" had asked him for a favour backstage. That man of course being Ryback. Crowd weren't that impressed. Ryback told him he wanted a match with Henry tonight to avenge his loss at WrestleMania. Bryan announced it was happening right now. Ryback them stormed out and things got under way in the aisleway. Henry went into the post and was then rammed repeatedly head-first into the barricade. Officials ran down to pull Ryback off him as we crashed to break...
Back from commercial, and a whopping 35 minutes into the programme...
Match 1: Ryback pinned Mark Henry in 2:00 with the Meathook Clothesline.
Backstage, Stephanie and Hunter were shown on their way out of the building. Vince McMahon was awaiting them both beside the limo. Stephanie told her Dad that she was sorry that she let him down last night. Vince said that he is not an angry man, just disappointed. He told them both that you need to overcome insurmountable odds in the corporate world, just like those faced at Survivor Series... and they failed. Vince demanded the both never forget the feeling they had in the ring because somehow they were going to fix everything. Stephanie once again said she was sorry but Vince snapped that he has never been sorry for anything in his entire life. He might be sorry for having to spend Thanksgiving with the two of them though. The limo then pulled out of the parking lot...
Match 2: In a bout for the Intercontinental Championship, Dean Ambrose defeated Luke Harper by Disqualification when Harper intentionally shoved Ambrose into the referee & he called for the bell. After the match Dean Ambrose planted Harper with Dirty Deeds onto a steel chair. The crowd chanted "We want tables". Ambrose then went under the ring and pulled out a ladder...and a table. Bray Wyatt suddenly struck from behind and nailed Sister Abigail onto the floor, and tossed Ambrose over the announce table. Bray then buried Ambrose under a combination of office & steel chairs at the announce position.
We got a vignette for Big E with the choir.
Santino Marella and Larry The Cable Guy came out. Larry was topless and wearing a lucha mask. Commentators said he looked like Vader. Crowd booed. Larry sounded like a spoof of Jim Ross. Some very "Southern" comedy occurred. Stardust and Goldust interrupted.
We got an inset promo from Miz and Mizdow.
Match 3: The Miz & Damien Mizdow (who came out wearing cheap replica belts intended for kids) defeated Stardust and Goldust to retain the Tag Team Championship in 8:00 after The Miz, having apparently been 'injured' on the outside, blind-tagged Mizdow and nailed Stardust with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.
Kane was shown looking miserable at concessions. His small female manager turned up & said she heard he liked to burn things, which is why he will be kept far away from the deep fat fryer. She chastised Concessions Kane that if any of the chips went missing, even a crumb, it would be coming out of his pay cheque.
In the ring, Lana said this - and America - aren't fair. In an intentionally ironic remark, she asked what type of country imposes its will on its people. Rusev said he doesn't care who is in charge as he wasn't being brainwashed by some dumb Americans. Bryan appeared on the Tron in the RAW office. He then sent Sgt. "Straight from World War 1" Slaughter down to the ring to supervise proceedings...The US flag unravelled from the ceiling, to chants of "USA". Slaughter ordered him to recite the pledge of allegiance. Rusev refused. So Lana begrudgingly muttered it on his behalf. The crowd chanted along. Rusev stepped in and ordered Lana leave the ring. As it looked like Slaughter was about to be taken out, Jack Swagger ran down and they both got into it. Swagger planted Rusev and stuck him in the Patriot Lock, Rusev managing to retreat to the outside.
Kane was struggling with the till and handing out nachos and popcorn when Santino and Larry The Cable Guy appeared in the queue. Santino asked for heavy mustard...so Kane squirted him with mustard. Kane passed Larry a hotdog and said he's a big fan.
Match 4: The new and improved Fandango - sporting new music and Rosa Mendes, seemingly attempting to mimic Judy Murray - pinned Justin "strawberry float Leeds" Gabriel with a leg drop off the top turnbuckle. Crowd were so into the match they started chanting "CM Punk" for no apparent reason. After the match Fandango then continued to dance some more with the ironing board he'd brought to the ring.
An angry Big Show, coming off heel turn #652, was shown heading towards the ring and intimidating some stage hand.
Dean Ambrose will face Concessions Kane tomorrow night on Main Event.
Big Show came out to the ring all smiles. Show said he just wanted to come out and ask if everything is cool. He said he had read online and heard some stuff backstage that he is "a bad guy", but the fact is he had simply made a mistake, and we all mustn't misunderstand what happened. Show expressed that he despises The Authority. While physically strong, he - now trying to hold back the tears - has a medical condition that makes him the size he is. But on the inside he has feelings and he has to provide for his family. In the heat of the moment he made a snap decision based on what he saw in the ring. In that moment he thought his team was going to lose. Show asked the crowd for forgiveness. Crowd booed. Show said he gets it. They want to cheer. They want to boo. But this wasn't the appropriate time. Show said he is a good person. If he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have done what he did. Show asked the crowd if they believed him. The booed again. Show said that for the past 20 years he has been putting his body on the line, so maybe the crowd owes him a Mulligan. Crowd instead now opted to chant "You Sold Out". Show, now growing angry, said "how nice" & "high and mighty" they are when they have nothing on the line. He hears the whispers that people are calling him a traitor, but he is the Big Show, and he deserves respect. If the crowd wants to boo, then he'll let them into a little secret: the cowards in the back need to come out and say it to his face. This brought out Erick Rowan with new music. Big Show laughed his tits off, & called him an "upside down Sheamus". Big Show then mocked him with a child's voice. Show told him the ring is made for men. About half of the crowd chanted "Erik Rowan". Show told him to go back up the ramp before he gets himself hurt. Rowan responded that he doesn't like bullies...and then went about kicking Show's arse with a spinning kick to the head. Show tossed the stairs around on the outside in a rage, before then backing off up the ramp.
Seth Rollins was texting on his phone in his locker room when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury walked in. Rollins said they don't exactly measure up to his other potential tag partners tonight. Ziggler then turned up and said he believes in J&J Security so much he has asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for them. Mercury and Noble seemed really happy...until it quickly sunk in what that meant.
AJ Lee came out on the stage & congratulated Nikki on making her life's work into an accessory. AJ Lee said Brie is an even bigger skank than her sister & insinuated they're both a couple of lesbians. The Bellas have now patched things up apparently, ending the worst storyline of 2014.
Match 5: Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella) pinned AJ Lee in 3:00 off a distraction in a crappy affair.
AJ Lee grabbed the microphone & said she hated to break it to them both but talent is not sexually transmitted. Creative really running with the "Bella Whores" meme tonight, huh...
Larry The Cable Guy and Santino were on commentary. He really sounds like Oklahoma from WCW, which is probably why they've stuck him on commentary.
Match 6: In an Interspecies rematch from Main Event, Natalya and Tyson Kidd defeated The Bunny and Adam Rose in a horrible stinker of a match at 3:00 when The Bunny accidentally tripped up Rose.
Renee Young interviewed Ryback in the hallway. He said it's almost Thanksgiving and he's hungry. He then rhetorically asked her if she knows where a good concessions stand is, before walking off.
Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods all joined together for another gospel vignette. "Together we can create a new day".
Kane was sorting through the concessions when Ryback arrived and demanded 2 cans of tuna fish (like there's another type of tuna we don't know about), a protein shake with extra protein, and a big bag of beef jerky. Kane said he was all out of those things. He then flicked a hotdog in Ryback's face. Ryback responded by pushing the entire desk into Kane. While squirting mustard all over Kane, Ryback called him a "Devil bastard coward". Concessions Kane made his escape. Ryback grabbed a pair of peanuts and said Kane had "forgot his nuts, stupid" for the obvious gag.
Renee Young interviewed John Cena and Dolph Ziggler backstage. They both blew smoke up each other's arse for a couple of minutes.
MizTV was promised for SmackDown, with Special Guest Big Show.
Guest GM Daniel Bryan, clearly nonplussed his wife's a bitch, came out and revealed fans had voted for J&J Security on the WWE App with 93% of the vote.
Main Event: John Cena and Dolph Ziggler defeated Seth Rollins and J&J Security in 10:00 when Noble and Mercury were on the receiving ends of a ZigZag and AA. Rollins watched from the outside. Daniel Bryan then ran down and chucked Rollins back in the ring for a Superkick from Ziggler and an AA from Cena.
We then got the sounds nobody expected, nor wanted, to ever hear again: the sounds of an email arriving. Michael Cole, giddy with excitement, got up and approached the podium that had suddenly appeared at ringside from out of nowhere. With the audible GROANS emanating out of every single man, woman, and child in attendance, Cole uttered the 'vintage' line of "Can I have your attention please. I have just received an email from the Anonymous RAW General Manager. And I quote...". The email stated next week's RAW is Cyber Monday, where order and discipline will be restored. The email notification then repeatedly kept going off over, and over, and over again to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 12/1/14 wrote:
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Monday Night RAW kicked off with the sounds of an email arriving, the sounds of booing, and Michael Cole on the podium. "Can I have your attention please...I have just received an email from the anonymous RAW General Manager. I am back and I am not happy." The mystery GM said that he couldn't leave the future of the WWE in the hands of "washed up superstars". Yes, they actually scripted that. This brought out John Cena. Fantastic. John Cena said he loves absolutely nothing about the anonymous General Manager, and rather like Brock Lesnar they both only show up once every year. The RAW GM interrupted with another message. Before Cole could read it out, Cena left the ring and went over to the laptop. With the stupid ding repeatedly going off the entire time, the camera revealed no emails were arriving at all, rather just a static yellow highlighted script on screen. Amateur hour this show. John Cena said he wasn't going to let RAW be handed over to a faceless computer and closed the lid, suddenly stopping the notification sounds. This brought out Seth Rollins accompanied by J&J Security. Seth wanted everyone to give John a hand because he is ultra-talented & good at just so many things: bad jokes, waving his hands in front of his face as if he is a child, a proficiency in having half the crowd tell him how much he absolutely sucks... Seth claimed that he would have been the sole survivor at the Survivor Series had it not been for Sting. Cena replied that Seth was forgetting about Dolph Ziggler, who beat him and 2 other members of Team Authority. Rollins' said that was all fine and dandy, but is the company really better off without The Authority in charge? The Board of Directors have put the Anonymous GM back in charge. Cena quipped that he was on a leave of absence. Seth asked who was going to be next? JBL? This led to Cena walking over and putting the cowboy hat on JBL, who proceeded to milk it. Or what about Batista, having proved he is such a terrible wrestler and actor? Maybe they should even give Eric Bischoff a call. That received a few cheers. Seth continued that every week is now a guessing game. What's best for them and WWE is what is best for business, and the only one with the power is John Cena, therefore before the show descends into chaos, he has to bring back The Authority. Cena responded by telling Rollins' that he's in no place to be making orders, as his trump card in The Authority has gone. When they were around, he could do what he wanted, but now he is simply a normal guy with a gold briefcase who wears way too much latex, therefore Seth isn't going to order him to do anything. Cena then demanded Rollins ask him nicely to bring The Authority back. Seth said please. Cena didn't think Rollins' was being nice enough so ordered him to get on his knees. The email noise then went off. Cena ignored it, before saying that he noticed it's using America Online anyway and nobody uses that any more. Michael Cole read the message anyway, revealing for no apparent reason that at TLC, John Cena will wrestle Seth Rollins in a Tables match. Crowd cheered thinking it was tonight. However it will have the added stipulation that if Cena loses then he will no longer be the Number 1 Contender. Rollins' then attacked Cena from behind. Having quickly dispatched Rollins', the two stooges in Noble and Mercury got involved. Kane then ran down and planted Cena with a Chokeslam. Rollins' pulled a table from under the ring but Ryback suddenly ran down to make the save, demolishing all and sundry in the ring bar Cena. Kane came back in with a chair and began whaling away on Ryback. Erik Rowan interjected and met Kane in the aisleway with a boot to the face. In the ring he then wiped out Rollins' and J&J. Big Show then came out and chucked Rowan out of the ring and picked up the steel stairs & ran it into the head of Rowan on the floor. Ziggler than came down and posted Show, before pulling out a ladder from under the ring. As this cluster strawberry float continued, Luke Harper ran in and started attacking Ziggler with the ladder. Meanwhile back in the ring, Rollins was about to put Cena through the table but was reserved. Before Cena could make a comeback, Show delivered a KO Punch. They all then picked up Cena. Seth Rollins - with the help of J&J Security - Powerbombing him through the table. Kane, Show, Harper and the two stooges stood tall in the ring taking a monumentally long segment to break.
Back from commercial, John Cena, Erik Rowan, Dolph Ziggler and Ryback were being helped to the back by referees.
Cole and company revealed Erik Rowan would battle Big Show later tonight. Ryback, John Cena and Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins, Kane, and Luke Harper was also announced for later.
Match 1: In tag team turmoil to crown a new number 1 contender for the WWE Tag Team Championship, A New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E) defeated Goldust and Stardust; Tyson Kidd and Cesaro defeated A New Day following a distraction by the 'dusts on the outside; The Uso Brothers defeated Tyson Kidd and Cesaro; and finally The Uso's beat The Bunny and Adam Rose after the Bunny and Rose got into yet another argument. During the match Naomi was shown watching on backstage, Cole acknowledging her marriage to Jimmy Uso.
The Miz and Mizdow showed up and congratulated Naomi. Miz said he voted for her to team with AJ later and wished her luck. Miz then noted how he watched her music video & complemented her twerking ability, and told her that he knows a Hollywood producer who would be really interested in working with her. Miz then gave her his card. Mizdow then presented Naomi with an imaginary card of his own.
A limo was shown arriving in the parking lot, with none other than Vince McMahon (who was on the phone) stepping out.
We got a video promoting WWE Shop, with CYBER netting people 25% off today only.
They revealed celebrity Seth Green will be hosting the WWE Slammy Awards next week...
They recapped Show hitting Rowan with the stairs from the top of the broadcast.
Backstage, Erik Rowan was playing with a Rubik's Cube. Tom Phillips revealed that Rowan has an IQ of 143, which is bordering on genius status apparently. Rowan is also a classically trained guitarist & wine maker. Phillips asked, what with all that going for him, why target the Big Show? Rowan raised his mask and simply replied "He's a bully." He then passed the Rubik's Cube to him and walked off.
Back in the arena, Big Show waddled his way down to the ring. "You damn right I'm a bully. Why? Because I can be, that's why". Show said he had to be a bully as lots of people have betrayed him. Crowd told him he sold out. Show retorted that the fans had sold out on him. Show said all he cares about is hurting people.
Match 2: Erik Rowan vs. Big Show ended in Disqualification at 5:00 when Show waffled Rowan with the steel steps to the back on the outside.
They put up incorrect graphics for the 6 man tag team match (they had Big Show and Erik Rowan featured).
Vince McMahon was shown walking backstage & noticed some dude in a sombrero. Renee Young then approached McMahon and attempted to question him on the current state of the WWE. Instead Vince said he's so happy he could whistle...unfortunately he never learned how to. Vince said that after RAW and exclusively on the WWE Network he would be on Steve Austin's podcast. Renee asked if Vince was going to reinstate The Authority. He replied that was solely in the hands of John Cena. But what was in his hands was Steve Austin later tonight...
On the WWE App, they revealed fans had a choice of Naimi, Natalya or Alice Fox to team with AJ Lee against the Bella's.
Rosa Mendes was dancing in the ring, signalling the arrival of the new and improved Fandango.
They plugged the WWE Network, which now comes with a free Roku streaming stick if you subscribe for 1 year.
They played Jack Swagger's music twice but he never came out. They shot backstage and Zeb was down in a corridor screaming about his leg. Swagger turned up and wanted to know who had attacked him. Back in the ring, Fandango was announced as the winner by forfeit.
United States Champion Rusev, accompanied by Lana, made their way out to the ring.
Back from commercial, Lana cut another promo burying America. Crowd predictably chanted "USA". She then predictably told them to "shut up". Lana said last week Rusev was forced to recite the pathetic pledge of allegiance. He instead refused and was punished. 19 men tried to defeat Rusev on SmackDown and all failed. Lana proclaimed Rusev as the greatest US Champion the "pathetic excuse of a super power has ever seen." Lana then pledged allegiance to the Russian Federation, Putin put back up on the Tron. Jack Swagger's music hit and out he ran, both men then getting into a fight in the ring, before brawling to the outside. Swagger repeatedly ran Rusev into the barricades until multiple referee's ran down to pull them apart. Rusev retreated up the ramp as 6 referees held an irate Swagger back.
Match 3: Damien Mizdow (w/The Miz on commentary) defeated Fernando (w/El Torito) at 2:00 using the Figure Four. After the match Jimmy Uso stormed out to ringside and slapped Miz's lights out, screaming that he stay away from his wife.
Bray Wyatt announced his arrival to Tulsa.
Jimmy Uso vs. The Miz announced for Main Event tomorrow.
Match 4: In a bout that was more competitive than it had any right to be, and contested in front of a dead crowd, Bray Wyatt pinned R-Truth off Sister Abigail in 4:00. After the match Bray started chucking chairs in the ring, followed by a ladder. RAW went to commercial.
Bray Wyatt cut a promo about Jacob and a very special ladder leading straight to heaven. Usual nonsensical rambling gooseberry fool. Dean Ambrose stormed out and, with the ring littered with hardware, both men got into it around ringside. Ambrose began beating up Wyatt on the announce table. With Wyatt out of it on the table, Ambrose began ascending a ladder. Referees again ran down to try and separate them. Both men continued brawling until the referees managed to intervene & Wyatt retreated up the ramp. Back in the ring, Dean Ambrose completely demolished the rocking chair, the referees now holding Bray back on the outside.
They replayed the conclusion to the opening segment.
Jerry Lawler revealed to the Live crowd that 48% of fans on the WWE App had voted for Naomi to team with AJ Lee. Some Cyber Monday this has been...
Match 5: Naomi and AJ Lee defeated The Bella Twins when AJ used the Black Widow on Nikki Bella at 3:00. During the match about a quarter of fans briefly chanted for "CM Punk".
Father Christmas (Mick Foley) alongside his daughter was shown shilling various WWE Shop merchandise from WWE HQ.
Rusev vs. Dean Ambrose was made for SmackDown.
They recapped the conclusion to the opening segment. Again.
String of dead crowds for RAW continuing tonight. Must just be a run of bad cities or something (cough).
Paul Heyman was shown live via satellite from WWE HQ. Heyman said while John Cena may think it's funny to claim Lesnar only shows up once a year, take Christmas. Why not have it 365 days a year? Because it would cease being special or unique. Or why not have WrestleMania every Monday? Because it would stop being special & unique. Like his client Brock Lesnar. If Cena doesn't make it through TLC, who will become the Number 1 Contender? Is it Seth Rollins? Heyman then rescinded his apology from earlier in the year. Or Undertaker (if you can find him)? Or Sting? You wouldn't even have to advertise it as a retirement match, as it would simply be Sting's last match. Or the entire locker room? There is already an Authority in WWE and that's Brock Lesnar. He who has the gold has the power.
Main Event: Dolph Ziggler, John Cena and Ryback defeated Concessions Kane, Intercontinental Champion Luke Harper, and Seth Rollins (w/J&J Security) at 25:00 in a very luke-warm 6 man tag when Ziggler pinned Harper with a sunset flip.
After the match everyone started brawling until Big Show ran in and took out Cena, Ryback and Ziggler with lethargic offence. Big Show and Kane went to work on Ryback in the corner until Erik Rowan marched on down to the ring with steel stairs and took out everyone. Following a Superkick from Ziggler and a Clothesline from Ryback, Show was dropped with an AA from Cena. Rowan then smashed Show with the stairs. Team Cena stood tall in the ring, as Steve Austin was shown awaiting Vince McMahon backstage to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW: Slammy Awards 8th December 2014 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and John "Bradshaw" Layfied.
The annual Slammy Awards kicked off with Jerry Lawler coming out on stage and introducing Guest Host, the diminutive Seth Green. He said he was excited to be back on RAW, & unlike other phony award shows, every award tonight is going to be voted for by WWE fans on the App. The Miz and Mizdow interrupted. Miz was curious why Seth didn’t visit him in his dressing room earlier, but it didn't matter as he knew Seth is drooling over putting him, the A-Lister, into one of his projects. Green responded by saying he does see an A-Lister, it's just not The Miz...rather Mizdow. Crowd cheered & Mizdow posed for the crowd. Seth said Mizdow was awesome. An irritated Miz snapped that he is not awesome, he is a Stunt Double. Speaking of awesome, it was time for the award named after him, the This is Awesome Moment of the Year. The candidates were Occupy RAW with Daniel Bryan; Billion Dollar Jailbird, Stephanie McMahon getting arrested; Goodbye Authority at the Survivor Series, with the arrival of Sting; and Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and The Rock all together at WrestleMania.
They announced Dolph Ziggler will face Luke Harper in a Ladder Match at TLC...and Stairs this Sunday.
Match 1: Seth Rollins (w/Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) defeated Dolph Ziggler off a Curb Stomp at 7:00 when Joey Mercury interfered and pushed Ziggler off the second rope.
Seth Green announced Sting as the winner of the "This is Awesome" Moment of the Year award. A livid Seth Rollins' interjected, indignant that Sting had cost him the biggest win of his career at Survivor Series. Seth accepted the award on Sting's behalf.
On the WWE Slammy Award Pre-Show, the winner of Insult of the Year was The Rock returning and insulting Rusev and Lana; Tag Team of the Year was given to The Usos; Breakout Star of the Year was awarded to Dean Ambrose; Hashtag to #RKOOuttaNowhere; and finally Crowd Participation to "You sold Out", which Seth Rollins accepted.
Match 2: Kofi Kingston (w/Big E and Xavier Woods) pinned Stardust (w/Goldust) with a Cross Body off the top turnbuckle at 3:00.
John Laurinaitis returned to introduce Surprise Return of the Year, the nominees being Hulk Hogan, Batista, The Rock or Ultimate Warror. Michael Cole meanwhile told us how to download the WWE App on iStore. Laurinaitis said with The Authority gone it was time to bring back People Power.
Big Johnny revealed the Surprise Return of the Year had rightly gone to Ultimate Warrior. They showed a quick photo tribute.
Backstage Rollins' thanked the two stooges for earlier when Paul Heyman showed up. Heyman said he wasn't just dressed up to impress Rollins, but because he expects a clean sweep tonight on behalf of his client Brock Lesnar. Seth told him that the briefcase guarantees him a shot at Lesnar any time he sees fit, and when he cashes in, neither Paul nor Brock will see it coming. Paul said Brock is the current reigning and defending Undisputed WWE Champion & should be called the Champion for life, but Seth can still be the future. Seth earned his respect when he Curb Stomped Brock, but it is not Brock who is keeping Seth from being recognised as the future, it is John Cena who is holding Seth back. Heyman told Seth to make sure that John is well entrenched in the past if he wants to be the future, before walking off leaving Rollins' to contemplate his words.
Sasha Banks takes on Charlotte on NXT Take Over Thursday night for the WWE NXT Divas' title; and Adrian Neville defends against Sami Zayn. It's on Sky Sports this Saturday at 11pm.
(NXT) Match 3: Natalya defeated WWE NXT Divas' Champion Charlotte (w/Tyson Kidd) in a non-title outing with an inside cradle in 2:30. What can you say...
Satino, wearing a suit, came out to introduce OMG! Shocking Moment of the Year. The nominees being Seth turning on The Shield; Nikki Bella turning on her sister Bella; The Whole World in his Hands child choir; and The Streak finally conquered by Brock Lesnar. Santino said that he had just finished watching Luke Harper take a shower. Santino then followed up & said that it isn’t like he simply stands around watching men take showers...he watches the Divas' too. Realising what he had just said Santino awkwardly stood there & claimed that he wasn't a pervert. Comedy.
Back from commercial, Santino announced Brock Lesnar defeating Undertaker as the winner. Paul Heyman made his way out to accept on behalf of his client.
Heyman accepted & said nothing of note. Bray Wyatt then walked out with a lantern that now smokes like Paul Bearer's old urn. He said that was "her" chair. They replayed the brawl between Ambrose and Wyatt from last week's programme. He said Ambrose destroyed a piece of him that he can never replace, so he needed to take something from him. They then replayed Ambrose getting assaulted and stretchered out on SmackDown. Back on RAW, Wyatt vowed he will look down at Ambrose's mangled body on Sunday and none of us fans will be allowed to shed a tear as Ambrose deserves everything that he has coming. Wyatt then continued to repeat "Tables, ladders, and chairs". A siren filled the building, with an ambulance suddenly shown reversing into the arena. The back doors flung open and Ambrose appeared, smoke mysteriously billowing from the ambulance. He then pulled out a table, a ladder, and a chair. Ripping off the neck brace, he marched towards the ring clutching the ladder and a chair. He then ran the ladder into the stomach of Bray in the ring. Pulling out more hardware from under the ring, Ambrose set up a table in the ring. Wyatt managed to make his escape to the outside. With Ambrose antagonising Bray by laying on the table, Wyatt decided to charge up onto the apron, only to be greeted by a chair to the face. Dean Ambrose told Bray to take a good look at that ambulance, as the only way Wyatt is leaving TLC is in the back of one. Ambrose said on Sunday he will become the monster and he is going to eat Bray alive.
Seth Green on the stage said that was "pretty awesome". To present Diva of The Year, Seth introduced Jerry Lawler back out. The nominees being Brie Bella, Paige, AJ Lee, and Nikki Bella.
Lawler said it was only fitting the Queen of the Ring get a hug from the King of the Ring. Lawler revealed AJ Lee as the winner of the fan vote, who was watching on beside the other Divas' backstage. Titus O'Neil walked in on the girls for seemingly no reason. AJ Lee came out and accepted the award. Crowd broke out into an extremely mild "CM Punk" chant...that died out immediately. AJ Lee said that at TLC she will take back what is hers and become 4 time Divas' champion.
Renee Young interviewed John Cena backstage. Last week Vince McMahon told Stone Cold that all the WWE superstars need to step up & knowing Rollins' he probably took offence to that. But before he can face Rollins, he needs to get through Big Show tonight. Show will do anything to get The Authority back. Cena said Seth won't have to pin him on Sunday, & that's good because without Show Rollins' can't beat him. There are no submissions, which is also good because Seth isn't man enough to make him tap out. If Rollins' wins on Sunday then he's seriously going to think about stepping down. But tonight he is going to step up by slamming a giant. Everyone is going to see he isn't done yet. On Sunday he is going to take that backstabbing SOB and put him through a table.
The audio of Vince McMahon's interview with Steve Austin is now up to download on iTunes free of charge.
Match 4: In a match that you'd think would have had some much better storyline development behind it, Erik Rowan defeated Intercontinental Champion Luke Harper (w/a ladder) in a non-title bout via Disqualification in front of a thoroughly less than infused crowd at 2:00 when Harper nailed Rowan with the ladder on the outside. After the match both men continued to brawl around ringside. Harper ended up going face first into the stairs, before Rowan picked up the stairs and ran them into the head of Harper.
The Usos were shown celebrating over their Slammy Awards backstage as Naomi was getting ready in the mirror. Jimmy told his wife that the award is the second best thing to happen to him...the first obviously marrying her. Naomi revealed that she had heard from Miz's agent & he has given her a screen test for this week. Jimmy questioned whether she sure it wasn't Sandow. He then said that if she's going to Hollywood then so is he as he doesn't trust Miz.
Adam Rose and all his rejects came out onto the stage to reveal the winner of LOL Moment of the Year. Crowd booed. Crowd booed again when he asked them if tonight would have been better had he presented the whole thing. Rose muttered under his breath that the crowd don't know anything and haven't a clue. Nominees being A Special Mother's Day Message from Mr T; the Wee-L-C match from Extreme Rules; The Stunt Double Miz and Mizdow (the music that accompanied here was great BTW); Princess pudding, as Vickie and Steph end up in covered in chocolate.
In other awards, Faction of the Year went to The Shield, Rivalry of the Year to Daniel Bryan and The Authority, Guest Star to Hugh Jackman, Best Twitter handle to @HeelZiggler and Best Couple of the Year to Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella.
The Bunny attempted to read the winner but Rose shoved him away. Damien Mizdow was announced the winner. Miz and Mizdow both walked out. Before Mizdow could speak, Miz accepted the award. Crowd booed & chanted "We Want Mizdow". In a great bit of ad-lib, Miz said that the crowd "want Miz now, and they've got Miz now".
Rusev will defend the US Championship against Jack Swagger at TLC...and Stairs.
Lana said that the real LOL moment of the year was the crappy US economy, or Barack Obama. Crowd started to chant "USA" so she of course told them to "Shut up". Lana said her personal favourite however was their 'Real Americans'. Swagger came out onto the stage and said in America they have a saying: "what goes around comes around". Yeah, i think they have that saying around the world Jack...He then told Rusev that as he injured Colter, he was going to snap his ankle. Rusev and Swagger got into it on the outside, Swagger ultimately applying the Ankle Lock on Rusev on the mats. Rusev tapped out, as multiple referees then ran down to pull Swagger off. Rusev screamed in pain and clutched his ankle.
We got a John Cena fronted advert for WWE 2K15.
The New Day will face Goldust and Stardust on the WWE TLC...and Stairs Kick-Off Show. The Usos and Miz and Mizdow will also battle for the Tag Team Championship on the PPV.
Seth Green inserted himself onto commentary so they could get various gooseberry fool over other than the wrestling.
Match 5: In a fun 6 man, Ryback and The Usos defeated Concessions Kane, Miz, and Mizdow when Ryback pinned Miz with the Shellshock. During the match Mizdow suplexed himself...and then threw himself over the top rope. This got the crowd up on their feet in applause. Later on Ryback clotheslined Miz, with Mizdow clotheslining himself and comically falling off the apron in the background. After the match, The Usos lifted Seth above their head.
We got some brief highlights from the The Slammy Wrestling Music Awards in 1986.
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat came out to reveal the nominees for Match of the Year. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista from WrestleMania; John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt from Payback; The Shield vs Evolution from Extreme Rules; and Team Cena vs. Team Authority from Survivor Series.
Super SmackDown Live! returns next Tuesday.
Ricky Steamboat announced the winner as Team Cena vs. Team Authority. The crowd weren't exactly impressed....Dolph Ziggler came out to accept. He said that moment at Survivor Series was one of the coolest moments in his life, and he feels like they're going to build on that. The only reason he was in that match was because of the fans believing in him. Ziggler, taking it rather seriously, said the award belonged to the fans.
Match 6: AJ Lee beat Summer Rae with the Black Widow in 2:00. The crowd once again failed to muster a proper "CM Punk" chant.
Extreme Moment of the Year was presented by a returning Rob Vam Dam...in a tux. The nominees were Brock Lesnar destroying John Cena at SummerSlam; Daniel Bryan getting Tombstoned by Kane on the floor, steel steps, and announce table; Chris Jericho with a cross body off the top of the steel cage onto Bray Wyatt; and Dean Ambrose getting Curb Stomped through some foam blocks.
RVD announced Chris Jericho diving off the cage as the winner. Fandango came out with Rosa to accept the award instead. He said he defeated Jericho at WrestleMania in his début match, and will "never...ever forget the name Fan...dan...go. Come on baby!"
Santa Claus Mick Foley & his daughter were backstage flogging various tat from WWE Shop in grand fashion.
Renee Young interviewed Big Show backstage.
Double Cross of the Year went to Seth Rollins betraying The Shield; Animal of the Year to The Bunny; Best Actor to The Rock; NXT Superstar of the Year to Sami Zayn; and Anti-Gravity Moment of the Year to Seth Rollins diving off the balcony.
In the final Slammy of the night, Booker T walked out to reveal 2014 Superstar of the Year. The nominees being Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt, and John Cena.
RAW IS JERICHO next week, as Chris Jericho becomes Guest Host.
Booker T announced Roman Reigns had won Superstar of the Year. Excuse me if don't quite believe the legitimacy of this voting...Reigns walked out to a pretty decent reaction. "This isn't satellite baby, this is the real deal". Reigns said it wasn't the brass ring, but it was pretty damn good and he loves it. Reigns concluded by saying he doesn't care who is at the top of the stairs, he is stepping up.
Main Event: In a predictably boring main event, John Cena vs. Big Show ended in Disqualification at 6:00 when all and sundry ran in & attacked John Cena following an AA on Big Show. After Joey Mercury, Jamie Noble, and Seth Rollins had put the beating on John Cena, Dolph Ziggler ran down to make the save. Big Show then stepped back in the ring and Knocked Out both Ziggler and Cena. Erik Rowan ran in but was immediately greeted by Luke Harper. Big Show Chokeslammed Erik Rowan onto the stairs on the outside. Ryback then ran in and attacked Show, before levelling Harper with a Meathook Clothesline. Ryback set up the table that had been brought into the ring. Kane then came down and started whaling away with a steel chair to the back of Ryback. Meanwhile in the ring, Show went to Chokeslam Ziggler through the table but Ziggler reversed with 2 Superkicks. With the Showster out of the picture, Harper put Ziggler sloppily through the table. John Cena dropped Harper with an AA, Rollins following that up with a Curb Stomp to Cena. On the outside, Rollins and J&J Security cleared the announce position..and Powerbombed Cena right through it, exploding the table. Rollins berated a fallen Cena. Big Show, Luke Harper, Seth Rollins, Kane and J&J Security stood tall in the ring to take the Slammy Awards off the air!
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WWE RAW Results 12/15/14 wrote:
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Less than 24 hours removed from TLC...and Stairs, Monday Night RAW from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit opened with the arrival of Chris Jericho, a steel cage ominously hanging above the ring. "Welcome to RAW...IS...JERICHO!" Jericho said he couldn't think of a better place to be than in Detroit, as he could feel the energy - which is perfect as he's the Guest General Manager for the evening. Jericho thanked the fans for voting him as the recipient for Extreme Moment of the Year last week. Crowd broke out into a "Y2J" chant. Jericho said that as he couldn't make it to RAW last week he watched as a tangoing troll; a herdy gerdy horse's ass accepted his award for a Slammy instead. Jericho demanded FanDodgeDurango, breaking into a bit of "Can you do the fandango..." from Queen while he was at it, come down to the ring. Instead what Jericho got was the arrival of Paul Heyman to a chorus of boos. Heyman confessed he is a Jericholic, which is why he is amused that when speaking truth to power, he is the power. And yet tonight is RAW IS JERICHO. Heyman continued that as he has the most spectacular track record of running exciting promotions he therefore should be in charge of RAW. Jericho accepted a high dollar offer to host RAW, and he gets he is in high-demand, but Heyman told Jericho that he still has a beef with him for Jericho winning the Extreme Moment of the Year award when he is the father of the Extreme concept. Crowd started chanting "ECW". He is the 'Grand Poobah of Hardcore'. Jericho snapped back "you are the walrus". Chris Jericho conceded Heyman gave him his first big break in Extreme Championship Wrestling but Heyman has owed him $200 since 1995. Jericho playfully started slapping him asking for the money. Heyman moved on and said he wasn't here as an advocate for his client, but rather to address the whole situation with Seth Rollins, who had a chance to become a true Paul Heyman guy last night but instead failed in his task to defeat John Cena. This brought out none other than Seth Rollins with J&J Security. Rollins said as Heyman couldn't wait to see him, face to face, here he was. Rollins then got in Heyman's face. Rollins said Heyman saw him put Cena through a table and a WWE official raise his hand, and he saw his victory taken away from him. He had Cena beat and all of a sudden Roman Reigns' showed up. Rollins claimed Heyman, Cena and everyone else knows Cena can't beat him on his own. Cena likes to talk about how much of a stand up guy he is, but he's a coward. Rollins claimed that if Cena was half the man he thinks he is, he'll accept the challenge of a rematch...but not tonight. John Cena then stormed right down to the ring, not messing about. Makes a change. Cena told Rollins to shut his mouth, and just because he holds a microphone doesn't mean Rollins' has a set of testicles in his pants. Rollins' lost and he is still complaining. Cena said a man doesn't make excuses for defeat, he dusts himself off and continues to fight...even if that fight is with a beast. John Cena, turning his attention to Paul Heyman, said the world now knows he is facing a Beast at the Royal Rumble. However he showed up for a fight tonight. Cena said he needs help tonight, as he can't make matches. If the match is happening tonight, he needs somebody with power to make it happen. Jericho, feigning shock, stepped in. Jericho announced Seth Rollins' will face John Cena inside the steel cage hanging above the ring. Rollins screamed Jericho had to be kidding & called him the worst GM of all time. Rollins began chastising Jericho for being jealous of him. Rollins' claimed Jericho is now out of shape he couldn't even beat the janitor or the popcorn salesmen, let alone Paul Heyman. Jericho admitted that while the popcorn guy is indeed a ninja, he does think he can beat Paul Heyman. And as this is RAW IS JERICHO, he's booking a double main event bigger than ever. Y2J vs. Paul Heyman. Jericho then notifited us all get on the WWE App and choose what kind of match it'll be. And when they're done, Heyman will "Never, ever be the same again". 25 minutes in, RAW crashed to commercial.
Back from break, the commentators ran down the options for the Jericho vs. Heyman match on the WWE App: Extreme Rules, No Holds Barred or Street Fight. Another totally pointless vote then.
Match 1: Luke Harper and Big Show defeated Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Erik Rowan at 10:00 when Ziggler and Harper went flying over the announce table together, leaving Big Show to level Rowan with the KO punch in the ring.
They announced both Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose will be in attendance tomorrow night at Super SmackDown Live! likely setting up their rematch the following night at Tribute to the Troops.
Backstage, Fandango and Rosa were looking into each other's eyes when Jericho turned up. Jericho told him that once he was through with Heyman later he'd be back for his Slammy. Not quite sure why he couldn't just claim it now...
Renee Young interviewed A New Day backstage. Big E's new gimmick is apparently he is a sweaty bastard. I'm sure that'll get him over.
Match 2: Alicia Fox and Natalya (w/Tyson Kidd) defeated Nikki and Brie Bella after Natalya tapped out Brie Bella with the Sharpshooter.
WWE revealed Roman Reigns' returns to in-ring competition tomorrow night on Super SmackDown Live!
Chris Jericho was back out for the Highlight Reel. Crowd weren't as infused to see him for the 3rd time this evening...
United States Champion Rusev and Lana made their way to the ring. Lana said that before Jericho bores everyone with his infantile humour, she wanted to remind everyone Rusev crushed Swagger yet again. Jericho asked why they were both angry all the time. Jericho suggested Rusev show Lana his Sputnik. Jericho questioned whether something was going on between the both of them & called Rusev 'the guy that looks like an unwashed cab driver.' Jericho and Lana then had a shut up-off & the crowd started chanting "Y2J". Rusev finally stepped in and called Jericho a little man with a big mouth. Y2J talks too much, so maybe he should just crush Jericho right now. Jericho said he knows somebody who wants to fight him right now. This brought out Ryback. Ryback and Rusev went face-to-face, the crowd chanting "feed me more". Rusev grinned and backed off out of the ring.
Jerry Lawler on commentary suggested they tell viewers the difference between the 3 matches on the WWE App...and then they never did.
They recapped the conclusion to last night's match between Cena and Rollins & hyped the main event.
We got a hype video for "The Ascension Will Rise", which seemed like some sort of cross between Mortal Kombat characters and the Legion of Doom.
Gold and Stardust cut an inset promo on The New Day; the 3 are shining real bright but darkness is... [Stardust was completely & utterly inaudible]
Match 3: The New Day (w/Kofi Kingston on commentary) defeated Stardust & Goldust with the Midnight Hour. During the match the crowd broke out into a very loud "CM Punk" chant for all of 5 seconds before dying out, and then what appeared to be a chant for "NXT", though I can't be sure on that. Crowd were also rather negative on Xavier Woods.
Renee Young interviewed Miz and Mizdow backstage. Miz said in a far away land Jimmy Uso was Tag Team Champion but feelings of inadequacy and jealously led to his downfall and now Miz is the A-lister. Jimmy will simply be accompanying his wife Naomi to movie or music launches, but he is spoiling the chance of Naomi making anything of herself too. But tonight the credits will roll on Jimmy Uso.
Adam Rose was dancing down the hallway with his Rosebuds when he stopped and said he had a huge announcement to make. After his match he is going to have the biggest after-party in history. "Yay!!!!!". They then carried on with the jollities until Kane tapped him on the shoulder & told Adam Rose he doesn't like him. Kane then revealed he would be facing him next. "Party over".
Match 4: Kane demolished Adam Rose in 1:00 with a Double Chokeslam to both The Bunny and Adam Rose. After the match Kane Tombstoned The Bunny.
They re-aired highlights from the conclusion to the 25 minute long opening promo.
Paul Heyman was shown taping up in his locker room.
They revealed Erick Rowan and Kane will face off on Main Event ahead of Super SmackDown Live! tomorrow.
Chris Jericho made his way out once more. If you're not the world's biggest Jericho fan you're going to detest this programme...
Heyman came out and said he doesn't have any tricks up his sleeve or silly jokes like 'he is the Jew in Jiu-jitsu'. Heyman said he gave Jericho his big break, and he doesn't understand how he can fight him over $200 from years ago. Heyman said he'll give him his 200 bucks and Jericho can give him a pass. Heyman then began writing a cheque and Jericho knocked it out of his hand & demanded they put the results up on the Tron. 41% voted for a Street Fight. Heyman claimed he didn't understand why they were going with the App voting, as wasn't it fair to get into a fight with...BROCK LESNAR. Brock Lesnar, having finally decided to grace us all with his presence after months, then walked on out sans the WWE Title. Heyman scarpered, leaving Jericho alone in the ring. Lesnar smirked in Jericho's face. Jericho got the first punch in, and went for the Codebreaker but Lesnar blocked it and planted Jericho with an F5. Crowd chanted for Cena...who never came out, making John look like an idiot yet again.
Rosa danced, signalling the arrival of the new and worse Fandango.
FanDodgeDurango, clutching Jericho's Slammy, said "RAW IS JERICHO is now RAW WAS JERICHO". Roman Reigns' music suddenly hit and he made his entrance through the crowd. Reigns' then beat him up and quickly gave Fandango a Spear. Crowd chanted "Roman Reigns". Before Reigns' could speak however Big Nasty marched on out onto the ramp. Reigns told him that if he walked any further Show was going to get hit in the mouth. Show said everyone is excited to see Reigns, but he got involved in his business last night and for that he is going back on the injured reserve list. Reigns' then immediately hit Show with the Superman Punch off the apron. Show no sold it completely and kicked the ring steps in anger, and started swearing at Reigns. Show then stormed back off again.
Remember when RAW had an opening video and pyro...
Match 5: Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso) beat The Miz (w/Damien Mizdow) in 6:00. I don't know what it says that the only interesting thing on the entire undercard is now a joke act but Christ it's hilarious. Jimmy Uso pinned Miz off a Big Splash following interference from Jey on the outside, who waffled Miz in the gut with a Slammy while the referee was distracted getting Mizdow out of the ring. Those dastardly Faces.
Naomi was shown walking backstage when she was approached by The Miz and Mizdow. Miz said he is a man of his word, and is therefore still trying as hard as he can to get her a music deal. Tomorrow night on Main Event, he is inviting her as a guest on MizTV. Miz said this is her opportunity to reach millions on his talk show (even though the WWE Network only has about 750,000 subscribers). Miz said she deserves a chance at the Divas championship. He then walked off...before then returning, telling her that perhaps she shouldn't tell her husband about this little deal. The commentators said Naomi has a huge dilemma about whether she should tell Jimmy or not. Just think about the absurdity of that writing for a minute.
Renee Young interviewed Seth Rollins backstage. He said things are getting ridiculous. 24 hours after TLC he is expected to be in a steel cage match with the same John Cena that has cost him the 2 biggest matches of his career. Rollins said WWE isn't a safe environment any more, and the company needs the control and guidance of The Authority. A normal human being would be in a hospital, but he isn't a normal man. Rollins vowed to teach Cena a lesson tonight he wouldn't soon forget.
The cage began lowering from the ceiling. At least they've kept the cage music.
Ho Ho Hogan hosts next week's special Holiday edition of Monday Night RAW. Yes, this is the RAW I avoid every year as if previous years are anything to go by it takes place in some sort of strange parallel universe where everything is even more cartoonish and stupider than normal.
Main Event: Inside the cage, Seth Rollins defeated John Cena at 23:00 by escape when Brock Lesnar walked back out (this time with the WWE Championship) and repeatedly suplexed Cena, before nailing the F5. Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins then shook hands, leaving Cena to take a Curb Stump from Rollins. This was the main event promised and then not delivered on from last night's TLC.
J&J Security raised Seth Rollins onto their shoulders on the stage in celebration to take RAW off the air!
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