Things that annoy you - the official thread

[False]

Shocking display

[OLIN]

I can apreciate that if you've really got to go, then you've really got to go. But when you see the same people having a gooseberry fool as the first thing they do after coming in then why not just do it at home?

Because if you do it at home you're doing it in your own time and not being paid for doing it?

And if they're on a water meter, just think how much money they're saving over the year.

[SEP]

There is no greater feeling in the world than being paid to gooseberry fool.

[Lagamorph]

There is no greater feeling in the world than being paid to gooseberry fool.

I dunno, being paid to sit and play computer games all night was a pretty good feeling.

[That]

Following on from poop chat, yesterday I went to the loo over in the computer science department. Big mistake.

I walk in and am greeted by what I can only describe as the smell of death itself. One of the cubicles has a "Caution: Wet Floor!" thing in front of it, for some inconceivable reason being used to prop the door open. Now I can't emphasise enough that this is the worst thing I have ever smelt and it's clearly coming from that loo. So I get curious, naturally, and peer around into the stall.

The toilet was literally full and overflowing with gooseberry fool and blood, in I would guess roughly equal measure. The bowl being full, the man responsible clearly kept on shitting and bleeding until the floor was also saturated. At this point it strikes me that, after producing something that almost certainly required hospitalisation - we're talking maybe five litres of gooseberry fool and blood - the guy must have thought, "Whoops, better warn people the floor is wet!" I kind of stare into this hellish abyss for as long as I can hold my breath, then bolt for the disabled loos, which were thankfully largely blood-free.

strawberry float computer scientists.

[bear]

People who struggle to understand the most basic of instructions. I am working the weekend shift as the regular guy is out on holiday so I am finally exposed to the stupidity of the guys who cover the weekend night shifts.

"The boiler in the canteen was leaking a bit so maintenance shut it off. If you want tea or coffee you will have to either use the boiler near the conference room or just boil the kettle that's left in the canteen."

"Ok then"

Twelve hours later:

"Morning, is everything alright?"

"The boiler in the canteen is leaking badly"

As soon as they left I went to check the canteen and sure enough the ignorant banana splits had turned on the boiler they had been told was strawberry floated. I've now had to waste half an hour shutting it down again and draining it. Judging by the amount of water on the floor it must have been leaking for hours and these morons were happy to just watch the happen. I'd be tempted to file a complaint with HR if I thought it'd make any difference.

[1cmanny1]

You should have nabbed that sign, sounds like the perfect spot for GRcade advertising.

[SEP]

You should have nabbed that sign, sounds like the perfect spot for GRcade advertising.

"Did he wipe standing up? Discuss at http://www.grcade.co.uk! "

[OLIN]

I walk in and am greeted by what I can only describe as the smell of death itself.

I went for a piss at our place. Someone was in the crapper and it stunk to high Hell. As I was washing my hands, the crapper door opened and out came one of our lorry drivers. I turned round and said "strawberry floating Hell, have you been eating roadkill?".

[Bunni]

Apparently the gooseberry fools are going round work right now.

Think I'll use one of the spare bedrooms just to be sure.

[jamcc]

Going on business to the Northwest or Scotland - train is infinitely quicker

You have a really slow car.

London to Glasgow:

Car - at least 6 hours + lunch and breaks.

Train - 5 hours and free beer.

Don't see your point am aftaid!

London to Glasgow:

Train - 5 hours and free beer.

Car - infinitely slower ( ∞ hours - 5 hours = a bloody slow car)

400 miles in less than 5 hours?! I guess you aren't taking any breaks and/or are massively speeding. So it's irrelevant how fast your car is. You shouldn't be driving like that.

I was making a joke that you said that the train is infinitely quicker. If your car is infinitely slower than the train, you have a slow car.

And you are all doing Glasgow in povvo class anyway, flying is infinitely quicker than cars and trains.

Yeah, but flying is presumably a lot more expensive. My boss often gets return tickets from London to Glasgow for £38, I think. That's stupidly cheap. Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

[Bunni]

Security doesn't usually take long and on a 40 minute flight it's still less than 5 hours in a seat getting up for coffee and toilet breaks. Only time I travel by train is when I've got luggage. strawberry float off an I paying £30 to stick a suitcase in the hold when my seat only cost £18.

[SEP]

Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

On domestic flights, you don't have to do any security gooseberry fool at your destination. Just pick up your bag and go.

[jamcc]

Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

On domestic flights, you don't have to do any security gooseberry fool at your destination. Just pick up your bag and go.

Fair point. I've only flown domestically a couple of times. Still, you can generally use your time much more effectively on a train (phone signal!) and typically have more room to wander and stretch out. Simply put, train travel is more straightforward and comfortable.

[Errkal]

Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

On domestic flights, you don't have to do any security gooseberry fool at your destination. Just pick up your bag and go.

You do on the way into the airport. I went to Aberdeen last year and took bloody ages getting through security to then go to the gate.

[mrspax]

Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

On domestic flights, you don't have to do any security gooseberry fool at your destination. Just pick up your bag and go.

Fair point. I've only flown domestically a couple of times. Still, you can generally use your time much more effectively on a train (phone signal!) and typically have more room to wander and stretch out. Simply put, train travel is more straightforward and comfortable.

I've flown domestically probably more than a hundred times in the past ten years and without question it's a ball ache. Especially if you have to go to a big airport. All well and good going to a regional sleazy jet shed +runway that they nickname 'airports' ,but then you have to get on from whichever arse end of the South East you end up in.

Trains win every time.

Oh and think of the children all you plane loving air polluters.

[SEP]

Also, with flying you have to get to the airport early and do all the security gooseberry fool at both ends. Going by train is also less stressful.

On domestic flights, you don't have to do any security gooseberry fool at your destination. Just pick up your bag and go.

You do on the way into the airport. I went to Aberdeen last year and took bloody ages getting through security to then go to the gate.

"At your destination".

[Corazon de Leon]

In fairness I flew to Belfast in November and security took all of ten minutes to get through.

[Fatal Exception]

It varies from place to place. Heathrow is a pain to get through, as is Standstead. Birmingham tends to be OK.

[SEP]

Newcastle is alright, as is Exeter.