GRcade

poshrule_uk wrote:Family/friends/people telling me and my wife to have children when we don't want them really winds me up. I wish people would just except it and get over it or feel free not to say anything.

Bumped into an old friend on Saturday who asked if I had children and said I don't and was immediately told to 'step up'.
Language like that is so toxic for many reason and for all he knew we can't have children and something like that could be really triggering.
It's not the first time I have had this and it must be 100 times worst when women get this inquisition.

The other one was my Mum repeated telling me that children bring you so much joy. Yes Mum and so does being able to do what I want when I want.

If she brings it up again I'll get really angry with her.

Genuinely hate this. It was worse when I was married but I've had the whole "oh but you'd be a great dad!" and when I say I don't like kids it's "it's different when it's your own"

1) I'd be an awful father
2) It might be different if it's my own kids. Or it might not be and I could end up resenting them. I'd rather not screwup a kids childhood on a "maybe". I'd rather regret not having kids some day in the far future (not that I will) than regret having kids and making them and myself miserable for a lifetime

My wife and I struggled for over eight years to have a baby so we know just how painful questions like that can be. Women get grilled far worse and it's disgusting that people in general find it an acceptable part of someone's private life to pry into. I'd never dream of probing someone in such a way.

People are free to make whatever decisions they wish with regard to having kids and shouldn't have to justify themselves or be interrogated as to why by anyone. It's OK to not like or want kids.

What I've had plenty of over the years is what I'd like to think of as light-hearted critique whenever I express an opinion which isn't super-duper positive about my own kids. For example, if I mention in a slightly negative tone about having to take one of mine to another kid's birthday party (meaning I will need to stay for the duration of the party), there's a surprising number of people (almost always other parents) that waste no time whatsoever in retorting with words to the effect of "you chose to have kids!".

Yes, I did. That doesn't somehow remove my right to air my feelings about some of my parental duties, however. strawberry float off.

And let's not forget, kid's birthday parties are the absolute worst

Tomous wrote:And let's not forget, kid's birthday parties are the absolute worst

If there is a hell, then it isn't a fiery pit full of demons.

It's a soft play centre full of toddlers.

Maybe it's the weird circles I move about in but all I ever hear is "why the hell would I have children?!" and parents (including me) talking about how it's ruined our lives .

It'd sound bizarrely old-fashioned (and obviously rude as strawberry float) to me if I heard someone asking people why they haven't had children yet, or giving them any grief about it.

I get a fair few comments about it, although I look younger than I am (probably because I don't have kids) so it's not so bad at the moment. I think people assume I still have time to have children if I want; however, although not yet menopausal (39) I can definitely tell it would be extremely difficult if we did decide to try, it's all gone a bit... chaotic. I'm happy with that, and the only time I feel unease is when people bang on about it, as every time they do I feel it just leaves a tiny doubt you have to work through. Leave people alone! Surely the joy of a modern world is the ability to choose whatever the strawberry float you want to do with that.

Nobody ever tells me I should have kids.

Outrunner wrote:

poshrule_uk wrote:Family/friends/people telling me and my wife to have children when we don't want them really winds me up. I wish people would just except it and get over it or feel free not to say anything.

Bumped into an old friend on Saturday who asked if I had children and said I don't and was immediately told to 'step up'.
Language like that is so toxic for many reason and for all he knew we can't have children and something like that could be really triggering.
It's not the first time I have had this and it must be 100 times worst when women get this inquisition.

The other one was my Mum repeated telling me that children bring you so much joy. Yes Mum and so does being able to do what I want when I want.

If she brings it up again I'll get really angry with her.

Genuinely hate this. It was worse when I was married but I've had the whole "oh but you'd be a great dad!" and when I say I don't like kids it's "it's different when it's your own"

1) I'd be an awful father
2) It might be different if it's my own kids. Or it might not be and I could end up resenting them. I'd rather not screwup a kids childhood on a "maybe". I'd rather regret not having kids some day in the far future (not that I will) than regret having kids and making them and myself miserable for a lifetime

For the record I think I would be an awesome Dad I just don't want to prove or disprove the theory.

As an aside my mate keeps telling me to come over more often so his kid remembers me. He is only like 15 months old so I guess they don't nessersey remember people unless they see them all the time.

Anyway it always feels like a dig and winds me up as if we don't ever go round and show an interest which we do.

poshrule_uk wrote:

Outrunner wrote:
Genuinely hate this. It was worse when I was married but I've had the whole "oh but you'd be a great dad!" and when I say I don't like kids it's "it's different when it's your own"

1) I'd be an awful father
2) It might be different if it's my own kids. Or it might not be and I could end up resenting them. I'd rather not screwup a kids childhood on a "maybe". I'd rather regret not having kids some day in the far future (not that I will) than regret having kids and making them and myself miserable for a lifetime

For the record I think I would be an awesome Dad I just don't want to prove or disprove the theory.

I completely understand and definitely didn't mean to imply that you'd be a bad father, just that I know I would be and don't want to put a kid through that

poshrule_uk wrote:As an aside my mate keeps telling me to come over more often so his kid remembers me. He is only like 15 months old so I guess they don't nessersey remember people unless they see them all the time.

Yeah, that sounds like a cry for help. Your mate just wants to see you more often.

I have a niece thousands of miles away I still haven't met yet and a nephew from step sister, I'm not sure about it to be honest, I know I have far too much I want and need to accomplish before I can sensibly take care of kids. I'm somewhat grateful other people have them instead. I agree it's nobody else's business whether you want children or not, but my partner didn't, and that's 10 years gained or not depending on your POV.

"Legos".

Legos.

(Shudder).

American folk in my Fallout 76 group are using the term on a regular basis and I'm not sure that I can handle it.

jawa_ wrote:"Legos".

Legos.

(Shudder).

American folk in my Fallout 76 group are using the term on a regular basis and I'm not sure that I can handle it.

If you want to be really pedantic, then tell them it's LEGO, not Lego, lego, legos or Legos.

Moggy wrote:

jawa_ wrote:"Legos".

Legos.

(Shudder).

American folk in my Fallout 76 group are using the term on a regular basis and I'm not sure that I can handle it.

If you want to be really pedantic, then tell them it's LEGO, not Lego, lego, legos or Legos.

Is it acceptable to say 'lay-goes', y'all?

We all do it to an extent, but it drives me crazy when people reply to a specific question with unhelpful suggestions.

Things like:

Question: "I've just booked a holiday to Athens, what things should I see?"

Answer: "I don't recommend Greece, have you thought of going to Italy?"

Question: "We're in Manchester tonight and the wife wants to go for Chinese food, where should we go?"

Answer: "I think Indian food is better, Birmingham has some great Indian restaurants!"

Question: "My son wants a headset for his Xbox, what brands should I look at?"

Answer: "Have you thought of buying a Switch?"

Question: "I really enjoyed Stranger Things, can anybody recommend similar Netflix shows?"

Answer: "Succession, it's on NowTV."

Question: "I like to listen to music on my phone when I'm out walking, is Spotify or Apple Music better?"

Answer: "You can't beat the sound quality of vinyl"

Wankers.

Moggy wrote:We all do it to an extent, but it drives me crazy when people reply to a specific question with unhelpful suggestions.

Things like:

Question: "I've just booked a holiday to Athens, what things should I see?"

Answer: "I don't recommend Greece, have you thought of going to Italy?"

Question: "We're in Manchester tonight and the wife wants to go for Chinese food, where should we go?"

Answer: "I think Indian food is better, Birmingham has some great Indian restaurants!"

Question: "My son wants a headset for his Xbox, what brands should I look at?"

Answer: "Have you thought of buying a Switch?"

Question: "I really enjoyed Stranger Things, can anybody recommend similar Netflix shows?"

Answer: "Succession, it's on NowTV."

Question: "I like to listen to music on my phone when I'm out walking, is Spotify or Apple Music better?"

Answer: "You can't beat the sound quality of vinyl"

Wankers.

Have you considered posting this on LinkedIn? I really think it would gain traction!

The mouthy bint in the bank today.

Went in to do some stuff, and this woman was hovering around the cashier desks yet not in the queue, and so i went past her and joined the proper queueing area. Yet when the cashier was ready to serve, i went across only for the woman to squawk 'i was here first!'

Cue me pointing out she wasn't in the queue, yet she was so gobby that the staff had to diffuse the situation and she ended up getting her own way.

If you want to be served, queue where you are supposed to ffs, don't just hang around the cashier desks like a bad smell!

I am sick to strawberry floating death of our house being treated as the defacto attempted delivery hub for the road. The banana splits never come and get their parcels, often leaving then at our house for days until we go over and say there's something for them, and they pretend they didn't know, even though I've watched the delivery driver put the note through their door.

I've been ignoring the door for a while now when I know it's not for us, but just now I was expecting something so answered.

"Hello there mate, what it is see is I've got a parcel for your neighbour across the road".

Now I can't say no, because it's the regular driver and I don't want anything I have delivered to mysteriously go missing or get left in the rain or something.

Now I've got someone else's post annoying me.

We've a neighbour over the road who we semi regularly end up with post for. The last time we got one, the bloke came to get it, but when I answered the door to him, there was no hello or anything, just "i'm here to collect a parcel" like our house is the counter at the Post Office or something. Knob.

The postman's pretty considerate about this, and usually asks if we're happy to accept their post, so I'm tempted next time just to say no.