Top Tips

PostTop Tips by **Dowbocop** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:20 pm

Not the Viz ones this time, I actually mean real tips for real situations. I'll start with one from Something for the Weekend - when you've been chopping onions or garlic, rub your hands on a stainless steel surface (e.g. a sink or a draining board) and the smell will come off. I've just tried this and it works pretty well, although it works a lot better if you very briefly rinse your hands afterwards.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Denster** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:22 pm

For an exciting household. Have a stepson whose crazy a wife who makes you miserable and finds out youre in love with another woman. Good times.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Captain Kinopio** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:23 pm

Befriend Irish people on forums so you never have to buy tv dvd box sets again

PostRe: Top Tips by **Eighthours** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:25 pm

Denster wrote:For an exciting household. Have a stepson whose crazy a wife who makes you miserable and finds out youre in love with another woman. Good times.

Cyburn2 wrote:Lets celebrate good times come on.

I've got one. When considering whether to use "your" or "you're", sit back for a second and think about what you're trying to say. Do you want to denote possession? If so, use "your". Do you want the word to be short for "you are"? If so, use "you're".

It really isn't rocket-science, and it'll make your argument look at least 10x more intelligent. Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh! 8-)

PostRe: Top Tips by **Hexx** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:25 pm

[quote="Herb"]Befriend Irish peado's on the interweb and give them your home address so you never have to be a virgin again/quote]

PostRe: Top Tips by **Captain Kinopio** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:26 pm

Hexx wrote:
Herb wrote:Befriend peado's on the interweb and give them your home address so you never have to be a virgin again

Why do you think I've never given you my address?

PostRe: Top Tips by **Barley** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:26 pm

If you get caught short and want to go for a poo when out in town, but don't want to get your jeans covered in piss while they're round your ankles do this: Take one jean leg off completely, sit on loo, wrap said jean leg round thigh and there you have it - a comfortable poo without having to worry about walking around in piss covered jeans. This works *

*Disclaimer: Getting the jean leg back on whilst pissed and standing on one leg can be problematic.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Eighthours** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:27 pm

Additional top tip: don't put apostrophes in simple plurals. Ever.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Denster** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:29 pm

Thats the eighthours i know and love!

PostRe: Top Tips by **Captain Kinopio** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:29 pm

Eighthours wrote:Additional top tip: don't put apostrophes in simple plurals. Ever.

You're leaving yourself open

PostRe: Top Tips by **Cuttooth** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:30 pm

Add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you'll soak yourself calm.

PostRe: Top Tips by JK » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:31 pm

Cuttooth wrote:Add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you'll soak yourself calm.

If you're feeling stressed, do something different - roll up your sleeves, or have an orange.

PostRe: Top Tips by KK » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:32 pm

What is this, Take a Break?

PostRe: Top Tips by **Denster** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:32 pm

In a scarlett Johannsson thread - keep what you'd like to do to her to YOURSELF!

PostRe: Top Tips by **Igor** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:37 pm

Eighthour's wrote:Additional top tip: don't put apostrophe's in simple plural's. Ever.

I'll try to remember that.

Top Tip!

Paint a red stripe down the centre of you're car for that added speed! Brrummmm brruuummmm!

PostRe: Top Tips by **Eighthours** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:44 pm

Igor wrote:
Paint a red stripe down the centre of you're car for that added speed! Brrummmm brruuummmm!

Surely intentional. Surely.

*Wags finger*

PostRe: Top Tips by **Igor** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:46 pm

Yep, and don't call me Shirley.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Jax** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:31 pm

Never Eat Shredded Wheat.

Then you'll be Living the Dream.

PostRe: Top Tips by **SEP** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:45 pm

Erotic fan fiction is not welcome, even if it's what everyone is really thinking.

PostRe: Top Tips by **Denster** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:51 pm

If your name is MCN you should never use the words finger, labia or G spot ever, ever again!

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