Workplace Blunders

Moggy wrote:The worst thing I have ever done at work was with an ex-girlfriend, she had a thing that she wanted to shag on my bosses desk. She didn’t know him, but she had it in her head and I wasn’t one to turn down sexy times.

It was a Saturday night and we were close to where I worked. After a few drinks we headed to the office, I let us in and we realised that the desk was a little bit too flimsy to do the deed on. Not wanting to miss out, we went to a sofa that was in the reception of the office. After hours and hours ( ) of vigorous lovemaking, we finished up and left.

On the Monday afternoon, I was called into a meeting room by my boss, who asked if I had been in the office over the weekend. I said yes, I popped in as I had forgotten something that I had left in my desk. He then showed me the state of the sofa, white stains all over it. There was also a clear footprint on the plant pot that was next to the sofa. The electronic entry system showed that I was the only one who entered the office over that weekend. Panicking, I asked who was last to leave on the Friday and luckily (for me!) a man and a woman had been the last to leave and so I said that it might have been them. I then just denied all knowledge, no matter who asked.

Nobody ever believed me, but somehow I got away with it.

Photek wrote:Moggy.

I'd done the whole boss's desk and boardroom malarky. I was 'seeing' an interior designer who ran a furniture shop for same company. I used to drive over at lunch and get a blowie, or shag. We got caught riding on one of the sofa's in the shop she ran by next door shop owner. He told EVERYBODY but we just kept denying it, then on last day before xmas party we where all sat around drinking in office (pre-Party) and she wanted something off a high shelf and in front of everyone said "babe could you get that cushion for me?" and I didn't move....then she looks at me and says "babe?" and I went red and then she went even Redder and ran while everyone burst out laughing.

Johnny Jalfrezi wrote:I wasn't the culprit, but about 15 years ago the MD of the air conditioning company I was working for was carrying out a site survey at GCHQ in Cheltenham. It was the height of a very hot summer and, rather than leave his cheese sandwiches in the car to melt, he decided to stash them in the shade under the car.
Yes, he is a thick strawberry floater.

An hour or so later, while he's busy measuring-up and making notes, the alarm goes off and everyone evacuates the building, including my boss, who is confronted with the sight of the bomb squad, about to carry out a controlled explosion on his cheese sandwiches.

He got a very stern telling-off, I believe.