Worst (petty) crime or morally ambiguous act you've committed?

I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Well if it wasn't with me, it'd be with someone else...so...

Hexx wrote:

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Well if it wasn't with me, it'd be with someone else...so...

True, but does the fact that a spouse is able to commit a wrong or dubious act with somebody make it okay for that somebody to be you?

Are the benefits to you personally (getting your end away) sufficient to outweigh the negative aspects of either accepting the offer (damage to the persons relationship and family, possibly including children), or turning down the offer (someone else gets their end away and causes the damage)?

Terrible analogy time: alcoholics are going to get booze from somewhere so it might as well be my bar that gets their cash?

EDIT: Not trying to come across as judgey in this, just interested in the views of others and thought processes of those differing viewpoints!

yeah i dont get it either; youre party to an immoral act that has potential repercussions beyond yourself. steer clear, theres plenty of other women out there

Jenuall wrote:I'm interested in what people's general opinion is on this, I would have thought that most people would frown on this sort of thing - but then maybe I'm out of touch?

I wouldn't say that you are out of touch because it's wrong however you look at it. I don't think I would mess about with a married/engaged woman if a) I actually knew their family i.e. and b (somewhat double standards here...) I don't think I could do that to somebody that I was with.

But if I could get away with it then I probably would. That makes me sound like a terrible person perhaps, somebody with no morals but I do have them (honest!). Morals are great but I know from experience that you don't get very far by being the good guy or the white knight. I've passed up on opportunities I've had because I decided that I was doing the "right" thing yet I regretted it quite quickly.

Also, it's very easy to say what you would/wouldn't do but until you're in the moment I don't think you could know for sure. We're all human after all and there is a primal, subconscious beneath the surface that can't simply be erased by society and what we've been taught is right/wrong.

if you make her happy she wont cheat, so you have it coming really, which makes you the bad person

False wrote:if you make her happy she wont cheat, so you have it coming really, which makes you the bad person

Tell that to OS, who seemed like a great bloke who loved his family.

I like OS, hes a good boy

he wasnt knobbling her like she needed, simple as that

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Im married and if my wife cheated I’d obviously be furious.

But I wouldn’t blame some random bloke she slept with on a night out. He doesn’t know me, why would he care? I would blame a family member or a friend (as well as her) though!

When I was young I kept meeting and kissing this lass in various bars and night clubs. I thought she was single it was only after about a month I found out that she was in fact engaged to a guy about 3 years older than me who had been a massive bully in school, the kind of huge man child who picks kids up by the neck and smashes them against brick walls... I had a fair few fights with him at school and so I actually kind of found it funny... I did at the time hope she would leave him for me.... In honesty if id passingly known her fella and he had been a great guy id have backed off.

Nothing ever came of it as she stood me up but I was supposed to meet somebody I was chatting to on Tinder who turned out to be engaged. She didn’t tell me she was engaged by the way, I only discovered it through a spot of Facebook stalking. The weird thing was her fiancé looked a heck of a lot like me (big, beardy ginger lad with glasses) only his hair was shorter.

I think you guys make a mistake only thinking about some sexual problem. For example my mother is disabled, hit by a drunk driver, so maybe couldn't have sex. That doesn't mean it's totally fine for another woman to take advantage of a promiscuous husband and then take them in therefore making it "OK" and easy to ditch the family unit. We're talking 2 year old little brother, I was 5, in that case. And knowing fully all this. Sometimes the person cheating really is just a banana split, if you don't care at all about the family being damaged you're also a banana split imo. It's incredibly reductionist to assume sex is the only and most valid justification for treachery. I can't think of something more selfish. Just get rid of monogamy then. It's their fault they got married to begin with and chose to have children.

That's where a lot of affairs lead, so don't be part of that, is my advice. You end up with nutters like me.

Was on a night out with my friends. A guy and a girl. The guy was my best mate. My mate had previously slept with the girl and I used to have a thing for her. She was now a friend to us both. She’s currently married to a guy who is close friends with my mate and is actually a mate / acquaintance of mine.
Her hubby was away. We all went back to hers and had more drinks. She went to the loo and picking up on the vibe I suggested we try for a threesome to my mate. He said no it wouldn’t be right as he was good friends with her husband. He also called me a sly banana split for suggesting it.
So I left.

A few months later - my mate confessed that he’d banged her the second i’d left. He was only telling me as he was going travelling for a year and wanted to tell someone as he felt guilty. He then swore me to secrecy.
He left to go travelling - I told several people hoping it would indirectly get back to her husband. Then I could comfort her, blame my mate for blabbing and hopefully bang her.

It didn’t work but it did cause a lot of gooseberry fool.
Oops.

You wanted a threesome with another guy

Ad7 wrote:You wanted a threesome with another guy

Urggh you might catch gay.

Yes. That’s the bad bit.

A long time ago a mate of mine suggested that with some girl we knew. I politely said no.

Ad7 wrote:A long time ago a mate of mine suggested that with some girl we knew. I politely said no.

You know you don’t have to wank him off?

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Im married and if my wife cheated I’d obviously be furious.

But I wouldn’t blame some random bloke she slept with on a night out. He doesn’t know me, why would he care? I would blame a family member or a friend (as well as her) though!

I think it's reasonable to assume that if presented with the person who their spouse cheated on them with most people would be at least a little bit "ticked off" with that individual. Not as angry as they were at their own spouse or partner perhaps, but still not exactly happy.

Only being an "accomplice" to the crime, so to speak, doesn't make you innocent of all guilt for that crime!