Worst (petty) crime or morally ambiguous act you've committed?

Mafro wrote:LewisD more worried about the Co-op finding his posts here than his missus

Speaking of the Co-op years ago my mam sent me out to pick up a loaf of bread and a pint of milk which would have come to a couple of quid tops. I paid with a fiver but they gave me change from a twenty. I gave my mother the change from the fiver and kept the other fifteen quid for myself.

Moggy wrote:I’ve never shagged a married woman, but did fool around with one in a nightclub once.

I did this once with someone from work who was engaged. The next day in work she avoided me and it wasn't mentioned.

She got married 2 weeks later.

Then month after she was back from her honeymoon a team reshuffle meant I became her manager.

Then the month after that her husband was diagnosed with leukaemia. Work asked me to keep checking in with her to ask how her husband was doing and offer support if needed... Fun, awkward, awkward times.

oh lord

Oh Jenuall is going to have things to say...

I've since left that job but the people I'm friendly with still there that I still speak to are pretty certain she's having an affair with the person who effectively took my role

Hexx wrote:Oh Jenuall is going to have things to say...

Rolls up sleeves...

Right, you're all a bunch of depraved, morally bankrupt, corrupt, perverted monsters and you are the reason we can't live in a world full of good things and have to contend with horrors at every turn!

Just kidding I don't particularly care that people have a different moral code to me when it comes to sexual liaisons. I've done my fair share of dubious acts in other departments, so who am I to say who's right or wrong*?




* I'm right and you're all wrong btw.

Tomous wrote:I've since left that job but the people I'm friendly with still there that I still speak to are pretty certain she's having an affair with the person who effectively took my role

Gotta climb that greasy pole

I’m still hoping to bang this woman at some point if the hubby ever does find out.

Denster wrote:I’m still hoping to bang this woman at some point if the hubby ever does find out.

Is she the cadburys caramel bunny?

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Im married and if my wife cheated I’d obviously be furious.

But I wouldn’t blame some random bloke she slept with on a night out. He doesn’t know me, why would he care? I would blame a family member or a friend (as well as her) though!

I think it's reasonable to assume that if presented with the person who their spouse cheated on them with most people would be at least a little bit "ticked off" with that individual. Not as angry as they were at their own spouse or partner perhaps, but still not exactly happy.

Only being an "accomplice" to the crime, so to speak, doesn't make you innocent of all guilt for that crime!

There is no “crime”.

Of course, hence the "so to speak".

But there is an act of wrongdoing, one which many would say shows a lack of morals on both parties, and one which can have severe negative consequences on the person they are doing it with as well as potentially multiple third parties.

If the cheating spouse is actively hiding the fact that they are in a relationship then fair enough I'd wager most would agree that bloke has done no wrong in that case. But if the bloke in this situation is aware that the person he is about to stick his dick into is married or in a relationship, or suspects this is the case and does strawberry float all to confirm it, then I think they are absolutely due a portion of the blame and guilt for the act if they go through with it.

I don’t think we are going to agree here.

I would only blame the person if they knew/were friends with/were a relative of the person who was getting cheated on. Otherwise I don’t think there is any blame or guilt there.

You wouldn't feel bad that there are probably kids involved and their childhoods and psychological development will probably end up ruined because of it? I know couples are likely to seperate at some point if there are ongoing problems, but it adds massive of volition and emotional violence into the equation, because of the distress around that kind of event. So the breakup is probably going to be real messy and sudden and the kids aren't going to know or understand what's going on, they just suddenly don't have a mum or dad around and they have to live with their parents hating each other probably forever, regularly slagging each other off and comparing their kids to the "bad" parent.

I'd honestly implore some people to think more deeply about this, I take a dim view of it because it's very short sighted. One strawberry float lasts 10+ years in that respect. I agree with Jenuall anyway, it's disingenuous, selfish and willingly ignorant of what happens in a marriage when you lend a helping hand to someone emotionally vulnerable because of whatever problems they are having in their marriage.

Green Gecko wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:I kind of get where you are coming from there Moggy, doing something like this when you actually know or are close with the people is obviously not good. But at the same time even if you don't know the partner you are still partaking in an act that you know is potentially going to cause pain to them. Should their anonymity really absolve you of any moral judgement or wrongdoing?

Obviously it goes without saying that it is the cheater who is really in the wrong here and if it causes problems at home then they need to shoulder the blame for that, but it still seems that anyone who "enables" that situation shouldn't be 100% guilt free!

Im married and if my wife cheated I’d obviously be furious.

But I wouldn’t blame some random bloke she slept with on a night out. He doesn’t know me, why would he care? I would blame a family member or a friend (as well as her) though!

I think it's reasonable to assume that if presented with the person who their spouse cheated on them with most people would be at least a little bit "ticked off" with that individual. Not as angry as they were at their own spouse or partner perhaps, but still not exactly happy.

Only being an "accomplice" to the crime, so to speak, doesn't make you innocent of all guilt for that crime!

There is no “crime”.

Of course, hence the "so to speak".

But there is an act of wrongdoing, one which many would say shows a lack of morals on both parties, and one which can have severe negative consequences on the person they are doing it with as well as potentially multiple third parties.

If the cheating spouse is actively hiding the fact that they are in a relationship then fair enough I'd wager most would agree that bloke has done no wrong in that case. But if the bloke in this situation is aware that the person he is about to stick his dick into is married or in a relationship, or suspects this is the case and does strawberry float all to confirm it, then I think they are absolutely due a portion of the blame and guilt for the act if they go through with it.

I don’t think we are going to agree here.

I would only blame the person if they knew/were friends with/were a relative of the person who was getting cheated on. Otherwise I don’t think there is any blame or guilt there.

You wouldn't feel bad that there are probably kids involved and their childhoods and psychological development will probably end up ruined because of it? I know couples are likely to seperate at some point if there are ongoing problems, but it adds massive of volition and emotional violence into the equation, because of the distress around that kind of event. So the breakup is probably going to be real messy and sudden and the kids aren't going to know or understand what's going on, they just suddenly don't have a mum or dad around and they have to live with their parents hating each other probably forever, regularly slagging each other off and comparing their kids to the "bad" parent.

I'd honestly implore some people to think more deeply about this, I take a dim view of it because it's very short sighted. One strawberry float lasts 10+ years in that respect. I agree with Jenuall anyway, it's disingenuous, selfish and willingly ignorant of what happens in a marriage when you lend a helping hand to someone emotionally vulnerable because of whatever problems they are having in their marriage.

Nobody has mentioned kids except you. And (again) the person to blame is the one who cheated, not some random bloke who had no idea of any of the family situation.

If you meet somebody and have a one night stand, you don’t first spend time going through a checklist of their lives to ensure that nobody is going to get hurt from it. And it’s not your responsibility to either.

I guess I'm talking about something different. If you know the person is married and has young kids and has made their bed etc, is it still OK to satiate their need to cheat?

Because sometimes it's not just about cheating, it's about (the person who is married) actively hurting and spiting the other person. I'd never feel OK enabling that, no matter how wet my dick gets. But I guess I've experienced the consequences more than most so naturally I'm going to think more about it.

Maybe it's also different if it's a woman cheating with a married man, because imo a woman should be sensitive to how they are going to hurt children (even if that's a bit sexist), but maybe some women love knowing they are strawberry floating over another (which is also a sexist thing to say, but it's impossible to enter the gender comparison without inferring sexist ideas).

Green Gecko wrote:I guess I'm talking about something different. If you know the person is married and has young kids and has made their bed etc, is it still OK to satiate their need to cheat?

Because sometimes it's not just about cheating, it's about (the person who is married) actively hurting and spiting the other person. I'd never feel OK enabling that, no matter how wet my dick gets. But I guess I've experienced the consequences more than most so naturally I'm going to think more about it.

Maybe it's also different if it's a woman cheating with a married man, because imo a woman should be sensitive to how they are going to hurt children (even if that's a bit sexist), but maybe some women love knowing they are strawberry floating over another (which is also a sexist thing to say, but it's impossible to enter the gender comparison without inferring sexist ideas).

I’m a married man with a 2 year old kid. For this whole debate I’ve been imagining the situation if my wife cheated.

In my opinion if we didn’t know the person my wife strawberry floated, then I wouldn’t hold him responsible.

If it was somebody we sort of knew but weren’t friends with, I’d think he was a banana split, but wouldn’t particularly blame him.

If it was one of my friends or a family member, I’d absolutely blame them (as well as her!) for it.

Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

Hexx wrote:Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

I think we’re talking about different things, but they can be linked. If the wife cheats and tells the guy that she’s married and looking to play away, then I’d still go with what I said above.

Moggy wrote:

Hexx wrote:Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

I think we’re talking about different things, but they can be linked. If the wife cheats and tells the guy that she’s married and looking to play away, then I’d still go with what I said above.

I still think the guy in that situation is being a dick. He's basically making the judgement call that his need to get some action is worth more than the security of any third parties who may be damaged by the act.

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Hexx wrote:Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

I think we’re talking about different things, but they can be linked. If the wife cheats and tells the guy that she’s married and looking to play away, then I’d still go with what I said above.

I still think the guy in that situation is being a dick.[/quote]

Which is exactly 'just' what lots of cheaters are looking for. I'll send you some instructional videos

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Hexx wrote:Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

I think we’re talking about different things, but they can be linked. If the wife cheats and tells the guy that she’s married and looking to play away, then I’d still go with what I said above.

I still think the guy in that situation is being a dick. He's basically making the judgement call that his need to get some action is worth more than the security of any third parties who may be damaged by the act.

No he’s not. He’s met a random woman, she’s told him she’s married but looking to strawberry float and he’s just gone along with it. He doesn’t know her husband, it’s nothing to do with him.

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Hexx wrote:Also - aren't you two talking differently?

Moggy seems to be talking about meeting a random in the nightclub with minimal discussion interaction beyond...the event.

GG seems to be talking more about someone going "I'm married but looking to play away - you in?" type encounter

I think we’re talking about different things, but they can be linked. If the wife cheats and tells the guy that she’s married and looking to play away, then I’d still go with what I said above.

I still think the guy in that situation is being a dick. He's basically making the judgement call that his need to get some action is worth more than the security of any third parties who may be damaged by the act.

No he’s not. He’s met a random woman, she’s told him she’s married but looking to strawberry float and he’s just gone along with it. He doesn’t know her husband, it’s nothing to do with him.

Really? Not personally knowing the people who will be potentially harmed by your actions is reason enough to justify potentially strawberry floating up their lives?

The guy is consenting to an act that he knows has a good chance of hurting people, I don't see how that can be seen as a wholly honorable thing.