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WWE RAW In-Depth Results December 2012 - December 2013

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Hour 1

The Shield were shown watching from a Skybox in the crowd.

Michael Cole said there were rumours circulating that Vince McMahon is in Greensboro tonight for RAW.

Match 1: Team Hell No defeated the Prime Time Players when Bryan pinned Darren Young with a reversed roll-up. Following the match, The Sheld jumped the barricade and attacked Bryan and Kane, before once again exiting through the crowd.

Sheamus and John Cena were backstage. Sheamus made a load of obscure references to the Eurovision Song contest and Father Ted.

Match 2: AJ Lee pinned Tamina Snuka with a roll-up.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman, clutching the new WWE Encyclopaedia, came out and cut a promo. Heyman said it didn't contain enough information on Punk. This segment went on for strawberry floating ages. Usual stuff. Buried the fans, buried the crowd, buried RAW itself, longest reigning champion of the modern era...blah, blah, blah.

Miz interrupted and offered Punk go on a lie-detector test later in the night. Called Paul Heyman a human walrus. Crowd chanted "walrus". CM Punk accepted.

John Cena told Stu the cameraman to get rid of his moustache/beard as November was over.

Hour 2

Match 3: John Cena and Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler and Big Show when Sheamus hit White Noise on Show and John Cena pinned Dolph Ziggler again following an AA.

They re-aired parts of the CM Punk promo from earlier in the night. And by earlier I mean less than half an hour. Yes, really.

Damien Sandow came out & cut a promo looking for an apprentice. He picked out some guy from the crowd and asked him 3 questions. Just like on SmackDown, the 'fan' got the first two easy questions right but flunked the last. Sandow ordered him to leave the ring and the United States. Santino interrupted. 'Comedy'.

Match 4: Damien Sandow pinned Santino.

Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero were backstage. Vickie made Ziggler vs. Cena for WWE: TLC. Brad Maddox was in her office as we went to commercial...

Back from commercial and Vickie told Maddox that if he could win a match tonight then he could have a WWE Contract. Deja-vu...

Match 5: Alberto Del Rio defeated Sin Cara with the arm breaker in a 13 minute match.

Hour 3

Vickie Guerrero came out and introduced Vince McMahon. It resulted in Ziggler and Cena being made into a Money in the Bank ladder match at WWE: TLC. Vickie, with much cajoling from Vince, also announced that, if it were proved Punk was lying later tonight, that Heyman would have to face Ryback next week.

Match 6: Randy Orton beat Brad Maddox in a quick match with the RKO. Afterwards, The Shield ran in and beat down Orton.

Stuff backstage with Ziggler and Vickie. Paul Heyman and Vickie, which involved them both staring at each other for an awkward amount of time. And John Cena, which involved some novelty John Cena dickie bow ties.

Teddy Long came out and changed a tag team match into a Fatal Four Way. This has to be some sort of in-joke. #RAWactive match, so fans had to vote for what title was on the line, US or Intercontinental. Not that it matters, as WWE will just do what it says in the script anyway.

Twitter users apparently chose United States Championship.

Main Event: Antonio Cesaro retained the US Championship against Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett & R-Truth when Cesaro pinned Kingston with The Neutraliser.

They announced Randy Orton would face Wade Barrett on SmackDown. What do we do to deserve all these new matches....

They partially re-aired the Vince McMahon segment from earlier in the night.

Miz strawberry floated up where the Sheriff conducting the lie detector is from. Members of the crowd shouted that Miz sucked.

CM Punk (with Paul Heyman) came out for his lie-detector test on Miz TV. It's now 3:56 in the morning.

In a piss poor segment, the lie detector ended in a No-Contest when The Shield ran in and destroyed The Miz. Kane, Daniel Bryan and Ryback ran down and sent The Shield packing. While Punk was alone & celebrating in the ring, Ryback sneaked up on him and gave him Shell Shock. Ryback then hit Punk with a ladder and steel chair, before finally powerbombing him through a table.

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Hour 1

IMPACT WRESTLING LIVE! opened with a recap video.

The arena was strewn with ladders, tables and chairs set up around ringside & the entrance.

Dolph Ziggler cut a promo atop a ladder in the ring saying he was going to defeat John Cena at TLC on Sunday. Sheamus interrupted & said he didn't need to worry about cashing in against Big Show as he was going to beat him at the PPV. Big Show then came out & shouted "Blah blah blah blah blah," calling Sheamus and Ziggler both boring and delusional. Sheamus asked Show where his Christmas spirit was, botched a joke about "roasted chestnuts" & then said as he couldn't have contact with Big Show, he would with someone else tonight. Sheamus then tipped over the ladder, crotching Ziggler on the top rope. This looked brutal.

Vince McMahon was shown backstage heading towards the ring.

Big Show vs John Cena was announced for later.

Kofi Kingston and Antonio Cesaro at the announce table for commentary.

Vince McMahon, wearing a truly horrendous suit, introduced Vickie Guerrero. Followed the same format of recent weeks, where Vince makes 'suggestions' to Vickie. Vince bigged up the Cena/Show match. Also announced was Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee vs. Vickie Guerrero.

Match 1: In a quick match, R-Truth defeated Wade Barrett (who didn't get an entrance) with a roll up. Kofi Kingston then hit a flying crossbody off the top rope on Barrett.

There's RAW IS WAR, nWo and Troll Face signs in the crowd.

AJ Lee was shown excitedly bouncing down the hallway backstage. She stopped Aksana & Kaitlyn along the way to the men's locker room & John Cena. She then hugged him while he was in mid-conversation. Cena tried to act all nice. Cena said they can talk somewhere else. As AJ left, Cena mouthed an apology to everyone else in the room before leaving to find AJ again.

Match 2: Cody Rhodes (sporting an awful moustache) and Damien Sandow defeated The Prime Time Players, Primo and Epico & Jimmy and Jay Uso in a 4-Way Number 1 Contenders Elimination Tag Team match for TLC. Only Rhodes Scholars got an entrance. Rhodes got the pin on an Uso following Cross Rhodes. Highlight of the match was the crowd breaking out into a "Cody's moustache" chant.

Cole and Lawler announced that next week would be the Slammy Awards. Voting is now through the WWE App.

Match 3: Eve pinned Alicia Fox with a Neckbreaker.

CM Punk, on crutches, and Paul Heyman were shown heading towards the ring.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman came out to cut a promo on the ramp. Talked about his surgery, that it was genuine, and not a ploy as some fans had speculated to get out of a match with Ryback. They took some shots at The Rock. Heyman said that, unlike Punk, Rock has a stunt double. Punk said he would be at WWE: TLC on Sunday to watch The Shield do to Ryback what Ryback did to him.

Hour 2

They recapped aspects of the McMahon/Vickie segment from earlier.

Match 4: In what was a great match, Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler via Disqualification when Ziggler hit Sheamus with a steel chair on the outside.

In an amusing segment, Vickie Guerrero was warming up backstage when Hornswoggle and Khali walked in. Vickie said she was tight. Vickie bent over and Hornswoggle and Khali stretched her out. Vince McMahon then walked in. Vince said that he "thought this was supposed to be a family show" before walking off in disgust. This was another take-off of the Trish Stratus/HHH/Stephanie McMahon skit, which they then spoofed on the 1000th episode.

Match 5: Alberto Del Rio beat Zack Ryder with the Cross Arm Breaker in a match that went longer than it had any right to.

AJ Lee and Vickie Guerrero came out. There was no referee in the ring.

As it turned out, Brad Maddox came out as the assigned referee.

Hour 3

Match 6: Vickie Guerrero rolled up AJ Lee in an extremely quick match. AJ Lee got the pin on Vickie during the bout, but Maddox refused to count.

AJ Lee threw a massive tantrum in the ring, chucked some chairs and ladders around ringside, tore the hood off the announce table and slapped Justin Roberts. She then stormed off to the back.

AJ Lee was still having an orgasm backstage, tearing up equipment. Cena turned up to calm her down.

Antonio Cesaro came out and cut a promo slagging off New Jersey & R-Truth.

Match 7: Antonio Cesaro pinned Kofi Kingston with the Neutraliser.

Rhodes Scholars were guests on MizTV. Sandow said the only thing worse than MizTV was the people who watch it. Crowd chanted "Cody's moustache" again. Rhodes could barely keep a straight face. Miz said he had to 'Moustache Cody a question'. Sandow said Miz wasn't a very good host. Lots of back and forth. Rhodes said Miz was dressed like Colonel Sanders. In the end Rhodes and Sandow walked off. Segment just ended.

John Cena was making his way to the ring, but bumped into AJ along the way. AJ Lee said she wants to be out there with Cena in his match, but Cena supposedly convinced her otherwise.

Dolph Ziggler came out for commentary.

Main Event: John Cena and Big Show ended in Disqualification when The Shield ran in and attacked John Cena. Team Hell No, then Sheamus and lastly Ryback ran in to make the save. John Cena put Big Show through a table set up in the corner. Everyone brawled to close the show.

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Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler, all suited and booted, were on commentary.

Hour 1

Match 1: Show kicked off with Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow. Mysterio won with the 619 and splash off the top.

In the first Slammy Award of the evening, Booker T came out to announce Most Shocking Moment of the Year. Booker was then interrupted by the return of the Boogey Man.

Following commercial, Boogey Man had vanished. The winner was about to be announced when Brad Maddox came out expecting to win, but the award went to Kofi Kingston instead for his hand-stand in the Royal Rumble match.

Match 2: In a non-title match, Kaitlyn defeated Eve with the Gutbuster.

The New Age Outlaws came out to award the second Slammy, Comeback of the Year. Billy Gunn read the nominees off his hand in a jokey manner. Jerry Lawler won for his heart attack. Lawler ran to the stage, and then joked that he shouldn't run otherwise he might give himself another heart attack. He thanked the fans in a short speech.

Match 3: In a non-title match, Kofi Kingston beat Tensai with the Trouble in Paradise in a very quick match that went about 1 minute. Crowd chanted "Albert". Following the match, Wade Barrett attacked Kingston on the top rope, ran him into the ring post on the outside and then gave him the Bullhammer.

The commentators once again told us how to download the WWE App on iPhone and Android.

Vickie Guerrero, accompanied with the usual boos, came out to announce The Kiss of the Year Slammy. All the nominees were of AJ Lee kissing everyone under the sun.

Sky 1 announced NCIS LA is back on the 6th January.

Vickie said that before she announced the award, she wanted to make clear that she'd never be nominated for this award as she'd never abuse her position like AJ. Winner was AJ Lee and John Cena. AJ came out to accept the award. Vickie said AJ needed to explain her actions at TLC. AJ said she didn't owe anyone anything, and that she no longer cared what people thought of her. Dolph Ziggler came out dressed like he'd stepped straight off the set of Grease to stop a potential altercation between the two. AJ then jumped up and wrapped her legs around Ziggler before proceeding to kiss him for ages. Strange segment, that made Vickie look like she'd been correct all along, and AJ a slag.

Great Khali came out with Natalya.

I can't believe this is still Hour 1.

Match 4: Khali pinned Otunga in a garbage outing. This went longer than the previous match.

Khali danced with Natalya.

Completely out of nowhere, and to almost zero reaction, Ric Flair's voice was heard saying "Whooooo! Superstar of the year. Whoooooo!" over the PA system.

Ric Flair returned, to a surprisingly modest pop from the crowd, and announced Superstar of the Year. John Cena won.

Hour 2

John Cena came out, and got booed out of the building, though there were a smattering of cheers. Probably about 70/30 against. Most antagonistic response to Cena in quite some time. Cena thanked the fans and the loyalty of the WWE Universe. Cena said Ric Flair deserved the award more than him &, despite the fan voting, gave the award to Flair. Cena left. CM Punk and Paul Heyman then interrupted. Punk said this was ridiculous on multiple levels. He said this was possibly the worst year of Cena's life. A clearly extremely motivated Punk cut one hell of a promo here. Flair told Punk he's been watching, and that the reason Punk can't walk is because he has too much baggage (Paul Heyman). Before Punk could get in there, Flair made a joke about his 4 ex wives. Punk then said he could beat up Flair even with just the one leg. Ric Flair said he and Punk should go right now on RAW. Flair took his jacket off and made his way to the ring. As Punk followed hobbling on crutches, & Flair strutted about in the ring, the announcers speculated whether we were going to get Punk and Flair...next! Hell of a crash to break this was.

Back from commercial, CM Punk hit Flair with a crutch to the gut and then broke it over his back. As Punk was about to nail Ric again, Flair thumbed him in the eyes, and then put the Figure Four on Paul Heyman, as the crowd went nuts. Continuing to channel the very best of WCW Nitro, Flair then got on the microphone again and said that he'd told Vince McMahon that if he was going to die, he'd want it to be in the ring or with a woman from Philadelphia. Flair took a moment to tell Jerry Lawler he loved him and that they'd both be around forever. As Flair was cutting his promo, The nWo Shield's music hit and they made their way out through the crowd. This has been the best 20 minutes of RAW in months and months.

Back from break, Team Hell No, Flair and The Shield were brawling in and around the ring. As The Shield were about to put Flair through the announce table, Ryback's music hit and he came down and made the save. The Shield were pasted by Ryback, and then promptly made their escape back through the crowd. Team Hell No and Ryback lifted Flair above their shoulders & celebrated in the ring.

Flair and Team Hell No were backstage celebrating. They all had a "Woooo", No!", "Yes!"-off. Ron Simmons arrived and said "Damn".

Brodus Clay and the Funkettes were dancing in the ring.

Match 5: Brodus Clay pinned JTG in a quick bout.

Some kids got in the ring and danced.

Santino and Tensai, who was wearing something utterly ridiculous on his head, came out to announce LOL Moment of the Year. Santino & the announcers fake laughed. Santino called him Albert. Santino said Tensai in Japanese meant "Fat Albert". The Rock won. Santino said The Rock couldn't be there in person. Crowd booed. Santino accepted the award on his behalf. Daniel Bryan and Kane came out. Bryan shouted that this should have been his Slammy. Kane carried him out as Bryan continued to rant and rave.

Match 6: Code Rhodes & Sin Cara were already in the ring. Goofy lights are also back again. Rhodes won with Cross Rhodes.

Layla and Zack Ryder were out to announce the Trending Now #Hashtag of the Year Award. Crowd shat all over this.

Back from commercial, Layla announced #FeedMeMore as the winner. Ryder said he'd give the award to Ryback backstage. Whoo. Whoo. Whoo.

Big Show came out hobbling and clutching the "Big Show chair" from last night. Show, smiling, said he wasn't surprised the crowd were booing. He said the crowd lets him down every time he turns around. He said the crowd couldn't handle that he was the most dominant superstar. Crowd chanted "BORING". Show said the crowd would not chant boring at him. Sheamus interrupted. Sheamus said he had no regrets about the match. A clearly restless crowd chanted "What". Sheamus said he wanted to shake Show's hand. Some parts of the crowd chanted "Sheamus sucks". They shook hands. Big Show called him a potato eating Irishman. Sheamus than tackled Show and grabbed the Big Show chair and wore him out. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick.

Dolph Ziggler ran down and was about to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase. Before he could, Cena ran down and attacked Ziggler, totally destroying him. Crowd were livid at that arsehole Cena.

Hour 3

Dolph Ziggler was ranting at Vickie backstage. Ziggler said their relationship was over. Dolph said her jealously was getting old and plain ugly, just like her. Vickie made the main event for later: Vickie and John Cena vs Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee. Yes, really.

Match 7: Alberto Del Rio, The Miz and Tommy Dreamer defeated 3 Man Band. Crowd chanted "ECW" and "Tommy Dreamer". Dreamer hit the DDT on Slater for the win.

During the match, Jerry Lawler said that he used to be in a band called T Mobile but they kept breaking up.

Lawler said he recorded a Country song called My Old Bag Left Me Because I Got So Hefty.

Sheamus came out to announce the winner of the Newcomer Slammy. Ryback came out and accepted his second award of the night. He quoted Owen Hart by saying "Enough is enough and it is time for a change". Ryback said he was that change.

Cesaro came out and said just like US voting, this vote was rigged.

Match 8: Ryback defeated Antonio Cesaro via Count Out when Cesaro simply walked out. Crowd chanted "Goldberg".

Gene Okerlund, Ricky Steamboat and Jim Ross introduced the final Slammy Award: Match of the Year. Undertaker vs Triple H. Triple Rooooooooooooooooode accepted. Crowd chanted "We want 'Taker" & "Thank you Hunter". Triple H said we haven't seen the last of The Undertaker.

The Shield were shown assaulting Tommy Dreamer and then Ricardo backstage.

AJ Lee came out and demanded the stage hands set up a ladder in the ring.

AJ, looking Ronsealed, cut a promo atop the ladder. Vickie interrupted. I have no idea who we're supposed to be cheering. It's now 4am and the match hasn't even started.

Main Event: Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee vs. John Cena and Vickie Guerrero ended in Disqualification when AJ Lee, who had walked out on the match after being attacked by Vickie, came back out with Big E Langston, who beat up John Cena. Langston stood tall over Cena, as Ziggler looked on confused.

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Commentary: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with John Cena coming out, who plugged The Rock's appearence later in the night. AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler and Big E interrupted. AJ said Cena was a "Pathetic, small man. A very small man." John Cena congratulated AJ Lee on making her first sixth-grade weiner joke. John Cena then got the crowd to do a Mexican Wave. Dolph Ziggler announced he was entering the 2013 Royal Rumble match. Cena made a joke about AJ Lee - who's now being portrayed as a whore in case you haven't yet got the message - "rubbing off" Ziggler and Big E Langston. Cena challenged Ziggler and Big E to a match. Ziggler initially refused but Big E grabbed the microphone and accepted on Ziggler's behalf. Dolph wasn't happy as they went to break.

Match 1: In a long match, John Cena defeated Dolph Ziggler (w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston) with the AA. During the match, Big E and AJ Lee were both ejected from ringside by the referee due to repeated interference. The finish saw the referee get inadvertently knocked down by both men, which led to Big E running down and hitting his finisher on Cena (who lost a shoe in the process). Another referee ran down but Cena kicked out, quickly fought back and hit the AA 'out of nowhere'.

Cena threw his shoe at Michael Cole.

Match 2: In a Divas Championship match, Kaitlyn defeated Eve via Count-Out when Eve walked out on the match.

During the match, the WWE débuted a Twitter Ticker along the bottom of the screen, showing various fan Tweets for #RockonRAW.

Santino and Ricky Steamboat were talking backstage when Wade Barrett walked in. He said Ricky was a has-been and Santino a never was. Steamboat said he would be in Satino's corner for his match with Barrett tonight.

Randy Orton was interviewed by Matt Striker when 3MB interrupted. 3MB said they were all entering the Rumble match, and then asked Orton who he was going to face tonight on RAW. Orton picked the "front man" Heath Slater, and said rather than the air guitar, he'd be playing the harp by night's end.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announced tickets for the Hall of Fame 2013 from MSG would be on sale from Saturday.

Hour 2

Match 3: Rhodes Scholars beat Team Hell No in a non-title match when Cody Rhodes pinned Daniel Bryan with Cross Roads after Bryan appeared to injure his knee in a move off the top, which led to Rhodes Scholars repeatedly working on the leg.

They re-aired the conclusion of Cena and Ziggler from the start of the show.

Match 4: In a surprisingly competitive match, Randy Orton pinned Heath Slater (w/Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal) with the RKO. Following the bout, the other two members of 3MB tried to attack Orton but also received RKO's for their efforts.

Match 5: Wade Barrett (who didn't get an entrance) pinned Santino (w/Ricky Steamboat) with the BullHammer elbow in about 2 minutes.

Matt Striker interviewed Sheamus. Sheamus said he probably isn't going to win the championship in 18 seconds this year. 3MB interrupted again. Sheamus sung "Danny Boy" & challenged them to see him in the ring for a match.

The Miz joined Cole and Lawler on commentary.

Match 6: Antonio Cesaro pinned Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) with the Neutraliser in a rematch from WWE Main Event.

Paul Heyman was backstage on the phone when Brad Maddox was heard going "Psssst" from out of shot. Brad Maddox suggested he go speak to Vickie and place himself in the TLC match as a referee. Heyman wasn't having any of it and demanded Maddox leave him alone.

Match 7: Sheamus pinned Jinder Mahal following the Brogue Kick.

They aired a PPV-style hype package for Ryback vs. CM Punk

Hour 3

Match 8: CM Punk defeated Ryback in a TLC match to retain the WWE Championship when the lights went out and the nWo Shield ran in and attacked Ryback just as he was about to grab the title. After initially fighting them off, Ryback was over-powered before being Triple Powerbombed through a table onto the steel stairs on the outside.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman were backstage when Matt Striker attempted to interview them. Punk said that he had no idea why The Shield interfered in his match. Punk said that before Rock comes out, he would drop a pipe bomb of his own in the ring later tonight.

Team Hell No were having a Yes! No!-off backstage when Vickie Guerrero arrived and said that Doctor Shelby would be on RAW 20th Anniversary next week to re-evaluate Bryan and Kane. As Vickie cackled and made her exit, Kane and Bryan couldn't decide on whether Shelby is a "monster" or a "nerd".

Main Event: In a complete squash, Big Show (who didn't receive an entrance) pinned Kofi Kingston with the Knockout Punch in 20 seconds.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman made their way to the ring. Long promo berating the fans & the company. Punk removed the WWE case on the microphone and threw it away. He said the meaning of the word "Pipebomb" has been misunderstood by WWE and the "Universe", when in actuality it stood for truth and honesty. Punk said the truth is that in WWE it doesn't matter whether you're the best in the ring, on the microphone, or at the announce table, because there is a glass ceiling and you're not allowed to break it. Punk said it was all about fan popularity. Punk said the WWE audience couldn't handle anything serious or complicated because we're all idiots. So the company gives everyone stupid gimmicks and that the likes of Daniel Bryan sully themselves with crappy catchphrases, and that wrestlers like Tyson Kidd are overlooked for people such as Brodus Clay, who's 'forced to touch filthy children' & dance like a moron. He continued that the roster are all fakes who don't care about the fans and just put on their 'happy faces' and go for cheap cheers from the crowd. Stage-hand got on the ring apron and told Punk to wrap it up as they needed to take one last commercial break. Punk said nobody in the truck tells him when to go to commercial, he tells people when they go to commercial. WWE cut to break with Punk still rambling on...

...back from commericial, CM Punk was still in the ring talking. Punk buried the crowd to such as extent, for so long, they were barely responding. The Rock's music then hit and Rock made his way to the ring. Long back and forth which ultimately led to The Rock giving CM Punk the Rock Bottom & standing tall as the show went off the air. Rock said that while Punk may have been WWE champion for 414 days, the number he needed to remember was "20", as in 20 days, Punk has to face him at the Royal Rumble, and that when the day arrives, "Time's up".

WWE announced that The Rock would be on SmackDown this Friday for the first time in 10 years.

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Location: Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler; Jim Ross, JBL and Jerry Lawler.

Hour 1

Show opened with a compilation of various opening video packages.

Vince McMahon was in the ring and welcomed everyone to the show. Vince said RAW was celebrating its 20 Anniversary because he's a genius, before then thanking the fans. He announced John Cena would face Dolph Ziggler again, though this time it would be inside a steel cage. Big Show interupted, demanding that the World Title situation be addressed, and that Del Rio be stripped of the championship. Vince McMahon said he didn't want to be referred to as "Vince". Alberto Del Rio came out with Ricardo and said how about they face each other tonight for the World Heavyweight Championship. Big Show refused and said he wanted the rematch on his terms at the Royal Rumble. Del Rio called him a "fat jackass" in Spanish. Del Rio said they had a present for him, and had Ricardo pick up a bucket in the corner. It turned out the bucket only contained confetti. Nonetheless, not best pleased, Show attacked Del Rio. Del Rio got the upper hand and laid waste to Big Show, as Show bailed to the outside.

RAW 20th Rewind: Bob Barker hosting The Price is RAW from 2009.

They announced Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton for WWE Main Event on Wednesday.

Match 1: Wade Barrett (who once again didn't get an entrance) defeated Randy Orton with the Bullhammer elbow.

The Tweet Ticker is back again.

They said they'd name the first inductee into the Hall Of Fame Class 2013 later tonight.

Eve bumped into Teddy Long and Booker T backstage. Booker T said that if Eve tried to intentionally get counted out or disqualified, she'd lose the Divas Championship. Eve then attempted to come on to Booker, and told him that maybe they could come to some sort of 'arrangement'. Booker and Teddy then laughed in her face. Eve slapped Long before storming off.

They aired footage shot earlier in the day of Kane and Daniel Bryan meeting with Doctor Shelby, which resulted in Doctor Shelby losing it with Rhodes Scholars when they started critiquing him rather than Kane and Bryan. Dr. Shelby then ordered Team Hell No to beat them both up. The segment ended with all three of them shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Match 2: Kane (w/Daniel Bryan) pinned Damien Sandow (w/Cody Rhodes) with the Chokeslam in a quick bout.

They re-aired highlights of the opening segment with Del Rio and Big Show.

Mick Foley was announced as the first inductee into the 2013 HOF, as his music hit and he made his way out to the ring. As soon as Mick Foley got his "Right here in Houston, Texas" cheap pop out of the way, The Shield made their way out through the crowd. Before they could attack Foley, Ryback made the save, followed by Randy Orton and Sheamus, who sent The Shield packing. Ryback gave Ambrose Shellshocked.

Hour 2

Josh Mathews interviewed Ryback in the ring. He said he will not rest until he gives back to the Shield what they’ve taken from him. He then shouted "Feed me Shield" like a pillock.

RAW 20th Rewind: Most Outrageous Gimmicks, featuring the likes of Gillberg, Beaver Cleavage and William Regal's "real man" skits.

Match 3: Kaitlyn (who also didn't receive an entrance) defeated Eve with a Spear to capture the WWE Divas Championship.

Cole said that Kaitlyn's journey started a "couple weeks ago on NXT".

Josh Mathews interviewed Brodus Clay backstage. They replayed Punk's comments from last week. Clay said he doesn't dance because he's told to, he does it because he was born to. He said Punk should keep his name out of his mouth, and that Punk’s pipe bomb was about to blow up in his face.

RAW 20th Anniversary Rewind: Donald Trump and Vince McMahon Contract Signing for Hair vs. Hair at WrestleMania, which resulted in Trump shoving McMahon over the table.

JBL said Brodus Clay was what would happen if Disco Inferno and Aretha Franklin had a kid.

Match 4: CM Punk (w/Paul Heyman) defeated Brodus Clay via submission with the Anaconda Vice.

Punk cut a promo saying that he just showed everyone what he does every Monday night, whereas Rock will come out later and 'do whatever he does'. He said there's opinions and then there's facts. It was a fact he had just made a 400-pounder tap out, it was a fact that he had been WWE Champion for 421 days and that it was a fact Rock wouldn't be leaving the Royal Rumble as champion.

They plugged that The Heavy's "What Makes a Good Man?" is one of the official theme song's for the Royal Rumble.

RAW 20th Anniversary Rewind: Best Vehicular Moments. They actually included Del Rio running over Santa from Christmas Eve 2012.

Mick Foley was on the phone to his kids when The Rock stopped by. Vickie Guerrero arrived and told them if they could both keep the noise down. Vickie asked Rock if he had anything to say to her. He said no, and Vickie left. Mick Foley was stunned he didn't issue her with a verbal Smack Down. The Rock told Mick to trust him.

Match 5: 3MB (no entrance) defeated Sheamus in a 3 on 1 Over-The-Top Challenge. Following the match, Sheamus issued Brogue Kicks to 2 of them.

Josh Mathews interviews John Cena in his locker room. Cena said that Dolph Ziggler would do exactly what the World Wrestling Federation did ten years ago, "Get the F out."

Miz came out on the ramp and said MizTV was next. He asked the crowd if they wanted a clue as to who his guest would be. Miz strutted and went "Woooooo". Nope, no idea.

They re-aired highlights of The Shield brawling with Ryback and company earlier.

Hour 3

Ric Flair came out for MizTV. Flair, who was visibly shaking, was asked what his favourite RAW moment was. He said the night after Mainia 24 when he 'retired' after losing to Shawn Michaels.

RAW 20th Anniversary Rewind: Catchphrases.

Miz tried to get Flair to utter another catchphrase, but Flair said RAW was now PG, and that having four ex-wives meant he needed this job. Finally Flair got up and wheeled out the "limousine ridin" sentence. This was not one of Flair's best promos by any stretch. Antonio Cesaro interrupted waving the American flag. Cesaro said the only thing the Four Horsemen hand sign now signified was Flair's four ex-wives. Flair & Miz then went to town on Cesaro, culminating in Miz putting the Figure Four on him. Flair then missed an elbow drop, before then knee & elbow dropping his jacket.

RAW 20th Anniversary Rewind: "Tyson and Austin, Tyson and Austin!"

Match 6: Daniel Bryan (w/Kane) defeated Rhodes (w/Sandow) via submission in about 1 minute.

They aired an interview Matt Striker had conducted with Eve earlier in the night on WWE Active where Eve announced that she was quitting the company.

They announced Alberto Del Rio would celebrate with a Championship Fiesta on SmackDown.

AJ Lee & Big E Langston was backstage and introduced...

RAW 20th Anniversary Rewind: Edge and Lita's wedding. They edited out the priest saying "Christ". Triple H & Stephanie renewing their vows in 2002. AJ Lee and Daniel Bryan's wedding on the 1000th episode. AJ Lee flipped out and said that was the best night of her life and that it was ultimately ruined by John Cena. Dolph Ziggler then rolled on in and cut a promo on Cena proclaiming victory for later.

Jim Ross came out to call the main event. Michael Cole said he'd personally invited him.

Main Event: John Cena defeated Dolph Ziggler inside a Russo steel cage match laden with copious amounts of outside interference in which Cena overcame everything. The finish saw AJ Lee climb the cage. While the referees were distracted, Big E Langston entered the ring and passed the briefcase to Ziggler. Dolph accidentally nailed Langston. With Langston dispatched, Cena hit the AA on Ziggler for the pin.

Over-run

The Rock Concert IV. The Rock sung two songs, one directed at Paul Heyman, and the other at Vickie Guererro. He called out Vickie onto the stage and sung his own version of Eric Clapton's You Look Wonderful Tonight. Vickie was flattered until Rock started to change the lyrics. Vickie almost cracked up laughing.

Following the concert, The Rock called out CM Punk & Paul Heyman. Rock had some facts of his own. Rock said it was a fact that Heyman had twinky tits. Rock said that last week Punk claimed facing him would be like "boxing with God". He said one thing was certain, and that Punk wasn't God. Punk then made his way down the ramp and Rock and Punk got into a brawl on the outside, as WWE officials & agents ran down to break them up to take RAW off the air.

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Location: San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman making their way to the ring together in a show of solidarity against The Rock. They both had the truck replay footage from last week of the Rock Concert. Vickie said that she's barred The Rock from entering the building tonight, and that if he enters the ring then he would be arrested. A stage-hand notified Vickie that The Rock had in fact shown up. The Rock was then shown backstage with 3 police officers, who were refusing him entry to the arena. The Rock said what they should be doing is arresting CM Punk for impersonating a champion, and Paul Heyman for not wearing a bra. He said rather than arrest Vickie, she should be asked what her intestines look like because she clearly has her head shoved straight up her ass. Rock said it's not a matter of if he enters the arena, but when. Back in the ring, Vickie said if Rock attempted to get in the building, the only song he would be singing tonight is Jailhouse Rock. She ended by saying "If you smell what The Vick is cooking".

It was announced that there would be a series of Beat The Clock matches tonight, with the winner getting to choose his entry number in the WWE Royal Rumble.

#BeatTheClock Match 1: Randy Orton defeated Antonio Cesaro with the RKO in 11:36.

They re-aired the Mick Foley Hall of Fame Class of 2013 induction video from SmackDown.

They aired The Shield video package/promo video running down the various people they've attacked over the last few months, such as Sheamus, Randy Orton and Ryback.

They re-aired highlights of Alberto Del Rio winning the World Title on SmackDown 2 weeks ago against Big Show.

It was announced that Big Show had demanded that his rematch with Alberto Del Rio at the Royal Rumble be another Last Man Standing match.

Eric Bischoff lookalike Brad Bradox climbed over the barricade behind the announce table and inserted himself on commentary.

Match 2: In a total squash, Big Show pinned Zack Ryder in under a minute with the Knockout Punch. Following the match, Big Show attempted to count to 10 to send a message to Del Rio, but lost it at the crowd chanting "What" and stormed off mid-count.

Brad Maddox left the announce position.

Paul Heyman was on the phone backstage when Brad Maddox interrupted. He said just like Paul Heyman, all he wanted to be was famous. And he said there was nothing he wouldn't do. Heyman said he was wrong about Maddox, and said if he stuck with him, then he'd make Maddox famous.

Match 3: In another squash match, Ryback pinned Heath Slater (w/3MB) in 1:20.

Ryback cut a promo saying that this was his first Rumble match, and that this was a match he was made for. He said it's the match that'll lead him to the main event of WrestleMania. He then shouted "Feed me more".

The Rock was still backstage with the 3 police saying that he needed to get into the arena. One of the police officers said his family are in the building tonight watching RAW, and that he also still has his ticket. Vickie Guerrero arrived and told The Rock that she'd let him in if he apologised about what he said about her last week. The Rock refused, and proclaimed that she was still 'looking horrible tonight'. Vickie said that The Rock would have to stand outside with the police while CM Punk & Paul Heyman head to the ring next. The Rock retorted that he'd enter the ring on his own terms & told the police, who Vickie had threatened with suspension via their superior officer if they didn't do their jobs, that he had a plan.

They announced that RAW Roulette will return next week from Las Vegas.

Hour 2

CM Punk, sporting massive bags under his eyes, and Paul Heyman made their way out to the ring to cut a promo. Punk put over the WWE Championship. He said that the most important thing to The Rock is to entertain the people, whereas to him the most important thing is the WWE Title. Punk vowed victory on Sunday.

Worth noting the show has been plagued by intermittent picture problems tonight.

They aired highlights of the previous week's MizTV with Ric Flair and Antonio Cesaro.

#BeatTheClock Match 4: Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) defeated The Miz in 10:56.

They announced that Kane and Daniel Bryan's Anger Management Graduation was next. Randy Savage's Pomp and Circumstance theme music was playing in the background.

'Comedy' segment. Dr. Shelby, dressed in a ceremonial school graduation gown, introduced Team Hell No. Kane and Bryan came out wearing black gowns. Shelby said one of them should be valedictorian. Kane and Bryan couldn't agree on who should give the speech, so argued over it before Shelby shouted at them. Crowd broke out into a "Dr. Shelby" chant. Dr. Shelby said everyone should hug to make them feel better. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler hugged. Dr. Samson and Justin Roberts hugged. They then showed various fans in the crowd hugging. Dr. Shelby, Kane and Daniel Bryan finally hugged to end the segment.

They aired highlights of Kaitlyn winning the Divas Championship and Eve quitting from last week.

Match 5: Kaitlyn pinned Alicia Fox with a Spear in a non-title match.

Paul Heyman and CM Punk were walking backstage. Heyman said he'd arranged a luxury skybox for CM Punk, as he wanted him to watch while he gave a message to The Rock in the ring next.

After the break, and with CM Punk watching on from a skybox, Paul Heyman was once again in the ring. Heyman said that that he serves as Punk's friend, strategist and adviser. Heyman said he noticed most of what Punk said earlier had gone over the heads of many of the fans. He said he would therefore act as his interpretor and keep his explanation simple. Heyman said many of the fans think it's a forgone conclusion that Punk will lose at the Royal Rumble. He blamed Vince McMahon for wanting anyone to remove the championship from CM Punk. He said it just so happens that the flavour of the month is The Rock. Rock's music then hit, and clutching a ticket, he made his way down to the ring. He demanded "Twinky tits" shut up and leave. The Rock then foccused his attention on CM Punk, and said he knows how tough and dangerous Punk is, and that he has earned the right to be called Best in the World, but that it didn't change the fact that tonight's RAW would be Punk's last episode as WWE champion. The Rock quoted Martin Luther King by saying that everyone would be "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last."

Hour 3

The lights then went out and upon going back up, the nWo Shield were in the ring putting the boots to The Rock. After a powerbomb, The Shield made their exit. CM Punk then grabbed a microphone and proclaimed that there was only one man who could be top of the mountain, and that The Rock would finally wake up from his dream. Rock was bleeding from the mouth as we headed to break.

They re-aired the previous beat-down. Michael Cole said during the break Rock was able to get back to his feet and walk out of his own accord.

#BeatTheClock Match 6: Sheamus and Wade Barrett ended in a draw when both men failed to Beat The Clock. As Sheamus was about to hit the Brogue Kick on Barrett, Dolph Ziggler and company ran down & distracted Sheamus. As Sheamus finally managed to connect with the Brogue Kick and go for the pin, time had elapsed.

Vickie was in her office when Dolph and company turned up. Ziggler and AJ Lee then snogged in front of her, as Ziggler proclaimed that AJ looked 'beautiful tonight'. Vickie then said Dolph didn't get to choose any number, rather he had to pick between Rumble Entry number 1...and 2, as Vickie walked off cackling. AJ told Ziggler she would end her.

They re-aired The Rock beat-down from earlier. 3 HOURS.

Punk and Heyman (yes, them AGAIN) were walking backstage when they bumped into Vince McMahon. Vince said that if The Shield interferes in his match with The Rock on Sunday, Punk would be stripped of the WWE Championship.

Main Event: Alberto Del Rio pinned Tensai with a top rope moonsault that barely connected. After the match, Del Rio said it wouldn't be Big Show counting to 10 at Royal Rumble, it would be him. In Spanish. He along with the crowd then counted to 10 in Spanish.

It was announced that the second inductee into the 2013 Hall of Fame would be Bob Backlund.

John Cena came out and cut a promo. I can't even be bothered to recap it because this was total strawberry floating gooseberry fool about total random nonsense involving what 3 fans in the crowd do on a Sunday, and that they wouldn't be doing it this Sunday because it's the Rumble. He then vowed victory. Sheamus came out and also vowed victory.The Prime Time Players came out and vowed victory. You can see where this is going can't you. Randy Orton then came out. Look, lots of people came out until they ran out of microphones, and then the locker room emptied out. Ended in a big melee. Show ended.

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Location: Las Vegas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with Vickie Guerrero backstage in front of 3 RAW Roulette wheels: Vickie Vegas Challenge, Stipulations, and Superstars. She announced Randy Orton would take on United States Champion Antonio Cesaro in the opening bout. Vickie spun the Stipulations wheel and it landed on Special Guest referee.

An incensed CM Punk, accompanied by Paul Heyman, made his way to the ring. An evidently delusional Punk said this was Day 435 of his WWE title reign, and that he didn't lose the championship last night. Punk said Rock was a cheater who needed help to win, and that Vince McMahon had screwed him worse than he screwed Bret Hart in Montreal. Vince McMahon interrupted and said he could also crash Punk's party tonight. McMahon claimed that they'd been sent a videotape by an anonymous source showing that Punk was complicit in a scheme orchestrated by Paul Heyman involving The Shield. Heyman tried to reply, but McMahon cut him off. Vince said he and Heyman would be back in the ring later tonight for a Personal Performance Review, which may just lead to Heyman's termination. I didn't know he was ever employed...

Match 1 - SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: In a non-title match, Randy Orton defeated Antonio Cesaro with the RKO when Special Guest Referee, The Miz, got into a verbal altercation with Cesaro, allowing Randy Orton to benefit off the distraction.

Following the match, The Miz helped Cesaro up, before giving him the Skull Crushing Finale.

Backstage, the Roulette wheel landed on "Make Me Laugh". The camera panned back to reveal Ryback with Vickie. He then snorted at her and walked off.

Andre Agassi and his wife were shown in the front row.

Matt Striker was in the ring with Ryback and The Prime Time players for the Make Me Laugh Challenge. Crowd booed. Prime Time Players made a joke at the expense of Matt Striker. It was then Ryback's turn. He asked 'What has four eyes, 20 fingers, and is about to be unconscious'. Ryback then jumped The Prime Time players, beat them up, and gave Titus Shell Shock. Striker announced Ryback as the winner. As Striker was laughing & congratulating Ryback, Ryback then beat him up as well.

They aired a new Bob Backlund Hall of Fame 2013 induction video.

The Roulette wheel landed on Players Choice (only just, mind).

Wade Barrett was in the ring and issued his challenge to Bo Dallas, who had eliminated him the night prior in the Royal Rumble. He said his career would end at the hands of the Barrett Barrage.

Match 2: In a quick non-title match, Bo Dallas pinned Wade Barrett clean with a slam.

Cody Rhodes span the Superstar wheel, which landed on John Cena.

Cody Rhodes was in the ring as we came back from commercial, while the commentators recapped the opening hour.

John Cena was shown as the new face of Fruity Pebbles. They than had a Tale of the Tape between Fred Flinstone and John Cena.

The Fruity Pebble then made his way out.

Match 3: John Cena pinned Cody Rhodes with the AA.

Hour 2

John Cena, who received a truly pathetic crowd response, cut a promo. Crowd broke out into a loud "Cena sucks" chant. Cena announced that he'd be challenging for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, despite his odds against CM Punk and The Rock not being in his favour.

The Shield's music hit and they made their way through the crowd. Cena stood his ground, but was overpowered by the 3 men. Sheamus and then Ryback attempted to make the save, but were also dismantled by the group. After giving Cena a Triple Powerbomb, they left back through the crowd.

They recapped what happened prior to the break.

Backstage, the Roulette Wheel landed on Lingerie Pillow Fight, much to everyone's immense joy. That was then swiftly kicked into touch when the camera panned back to reveal Tensai and Brodus Clay. Tensai shouted "No! No!" and stormed off. Vickie said with Vince McMahon in attendance issuing a performance evaluation, there was no way this was going to take place. She ordered Brodus to spin the Vickie Vegas wheel, which conveniently landed on Dance Off. Clay, grinning like an utter loon, said he'd notify Tensai of the change. You can see this joke coming a mile off, can't you...

They re-aired the Rumble Axxess video from last night.

Dance Off: For your weekly car crash segment, Brodus Clay and Tensai came out. Tensai was wearing lingerie. Tensai initially refused to dance, but Jerry Lawler said what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Tensai & Clay then danced together. Rob Simmons was shown watching on a television backstage. "Damn". Tensai left in embarrassment.

Vickie and Alberto Del Rio were backstage. The Wheel landed on "Body Slam Challenge" against the Big Show.

The Body Slam Challenge never got started, as Big Show jumped Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo before the bell. Big Show duct taped Alberto Del Rio to the second ring rope, and then proceeded to destroy Ricardo as a helpless Del Rio looked on. A smattering of fans chanted "boring". Show then gave both men the Knockout Punch before leaving.

Match 4: In a Las Vegas Show Girls Match fought under Lumberjack rules & in front of a completely dead crowd, Kaitlyn and Tamina Snuka ended in a no contest when the Lumberjills entered the ring and started brawling. Michael Cole buried the match on commentary, and promised us that the show would get better after the break.

They again re-aired the The Shield attack from earlier.

To end an unbelievably atrocious three quarters of an hour, new WWE Champion The Rock came out to a big ovation. He said he'd thanked his friends and family, but he hadn't yet had a chance to thank the fans. Rock claimed that this was the proudest moment in his entire career. Rock said that tonight was going to usher in a new era: The People's Era. Rock said everyone was going partying tonight in Vegas, and that everyone was getting 'pie'.

Hour 3

CM Punk interrupted. He said that after making the WWE Title mean something, Rock was proceeding to flush all his good work down the toilet. Punk said that if Rock were a man, and had any respect for himself & his father and grandfather, then he would walk down the aisle and hand back the championship he never earned in the first place. The Rock said rather than standing on the stage like a 'punk ass bitch', he should come down to the ring and face him like a man. CM Punk said he was going to grant The Rock a rematch on his own terms, and that he'd see him in 3 weeks at Elimination Chamber.

They aired a music video hyping WrestleMania 29.

Damien Sandow was in the ring. They showed the wheel landing on Tables on the WWE App

Match 5 - TABLES MATCH: Sheamus defeated Damien Sandow when he delivered White Noise through a table set up in the corner.

During the match, JBL asked why all Irish love to fight. Lawler said it's because everyone in Ireland is inebriated.

In another waste of time, Jerry Lawler was in the ring to announce that Zack Ryder and Great Khali were going to play WWE Karaoke. Great Khali, completely out of time to the words, sung along to Shawn Michaels' theme music. 3MB interrupted. They then got wasted at the hands of Khali, Ryder and Hornswoggle. Michael Cole for the second time tonight once again apologised for this awfulness.

Chris Jericho came out. Crowd chanted "Y2J". Jericho wheeled out his catchphrases, before thanking the fans. Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E interrupted. Jericho asked whether the "Big E" stood for Langston's bra size. Vickie Guererro appeared on the Titantron to make the final Roulette spin of the night. It landed on Strange Bed Fellows, meaning Ziggler and Jericho would be forced to team together. Their opponents were revealed as Kane and Daniel Bryan.

Main Event - STRANGE BED FELLOWS: Team Hell No defeated Dolph Ziggler and Chris Jericho when Kane Chokeslammed Ziggler.

WWE announced that Trish Stratus would be inducted into this year's Hall of Fame Class of 2013.

They announced that Booker T would have a major announcement concerning the future of the World Championship on SmackDown.

Vince McMahon was in the ring for Heyman's job evaluation. Vince McMahon said everyone knows he loves to have fun, and said the best place to have fun was right here in Vegas. McMahon demanded Heyman come to the ring. Vince said if he was looking for Punk, he was escorted out of the building about ten minutes go. Vince asked Heyman if either Brad Maddox or The Shield were under contract to Heyman. Heyman said he'd lied every day of his life to survive, but tonight he swore he was going to tell the truth. He categorically said he had nothing to do with it. Vince then ordered the video footage to be played on the Tron. It showed Paul Heyman secretly meeting with Brad Maddox and his cameraman, where in a conversation he admitted everything. Maddox demanded more money. The Shield then turned up, and on Paul's instructions beat up Maddox. Back Live, Heyman attempted to weasel his way out by saying it was an impersonator. Crowd sang, in probably the best I've heard in 10 years, "Na, na, na, na Goodbye" at him. Just before Vince McMahon was about to fire Heyman, Brock Lesnar's music hit, and Lesnar made his way down to the ring. As Heyman tried to convince Brock Lesnar not to do anything stupid, Brock went nose to nose with McMahon. Vince told Lesnar not to do anything he would later regret. Brock Lesnar then picked up Vince and gave him the F5. With Vince laid out, Brock & Heyman left the ring to take the show off the air.

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Location: Atlanta Georgia, Phillips Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with CM Punk coming out, minus Paul Heyman. Punk grabbed Justin Roberts and demanded he introduce him as the "People's Champion". Punk said he's had a week to contemplate what happened on RAW last week. He said he didn't overreact. Punk said he's had people asking him questions about Paul Heyman and The Shield video from last week. Punk left the ring and confronted fans in the front row, before asking Michael Cole if anyone had seen him in the video. Punk said everyone has bought into Vince McMahon's version of events, and that he'd staged the entire video with actors and CGI, and that the fans are stupid enough to buy into it. Punk claimed Vince got what he deserved at the hands of Brock Lesnar, and that it was karma. Punk said everyone who's a loser in life gets what they deserve. SmackDown General Manager Booker T interrupted. Booker T, completely stumbling over his words to the point he stopped and started over, said Vickie Guerrero had allowed him onto RAW. Punk asked if he was drunk. Booker T said he was going to let the fans decide on who Punk would face tonight exclusively via the WWE App. Punk said WWE fans don't even have smart phones.

They aired a tutorial of someone who was allegedly Michael Cole using the WWE App on the iPhone.

Michael Cole said they had an epic announcement regarding the next WWE Hall of Fame inductee.

Back from commercial, they aired Matt Striker interviewing Randy Orton on the WWE App. Orton said there was no better place than here in Atlanta for him to face CM Punk. The interview was in a small box-out surrounded by overlaid iPhone and App graphics.

Match 1: Ryback defeated United States Champion Antonio Cesaro in a non-title match with Shell Shocked.

WWE once again plugged the WWE App voting.

They re-aired the John Cena beat down by The Shield from last week.

Chilli from TLC was in the front row.

Matt Striker interviewed Rey Mysterio on the WWE App. Rey said Punk was embarrassing himself, and that he was the one who took Punk's hair at WrestleMania.

They aired a video package on The Shield, including their début at Survivor Series 2012.

Jonh Cena was shown watching the TV in Vickie's office. She said she'd heard Cena was going out later tonight to confront The Shield in the ring. She asked if he had a death wish. Cena replied that he'd heard there was a guy on RAW called John Cena who thinks that The Shield needed to be stopped, and stopped tonight.

They re-aired the Trish Stratus HOF induction video from last week.

Chris Jericho was shown being interviewed by Matt Striker on the WWE App.

Booker T joined Cole and Lawler on commentary. He brought up "buyrates" and "ratings", much to the amusement of Cole and Lawler.

Match 2: Jack Swagger defeated Santino with the Patriot Act (Ankle Lock) submission.

Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio were confirmed as participants in the Number 1 Contenders Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber on 17 February.

Michael Cole apologised that the WWE App had crashed due to 'overwhelming demand', and that fans should now go to WWE.com. strawberry floating amateur hour this is.

They aired Alberto Del Rio brawling in the parking lot with Big Show from SmackDown, along with Bhow punching out Ricardo backstage during the main event.

Hour 2

Match 3: Alberto Del Rio beat Cody Rhodes with the Armbar submission in under 3 minutes.

Aberto Del Rio grabbed the microphone and said he knew he used to look down on everyone but he was wrong. Del Rio said he appreciated everyone's support. Crowd chanted "What". Del Rio said Big Show was going to pay for what he did to Ricardo. Big Show appeared on the TitanTron from a hotel. Del Rio said Show had no "cojones". Show said he wasn't scared of Del Rio, rather the reason he wasn't there was to stop himself from tearing Del Rio apart. Show demanded Del Rio sign a contract for a rematch at Elimination Chamber and send the contract over to the hotel later tonight. Show told Del Rio not to even bother attempting to find him at the hotel otherwise he'd rip him apart.

Jerry Lawler announced Live to the crowd that Chris Jericho had won with 57% of the vote to take on CM Punk in a rematch from last year's WrestleMania.

Daniel Bryan and Kane were arguing backstage over their loss last week on SmackDown against Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio. Bryan said he didn't want Kane to ruin his chances to get into the Elimination Chamber, and demanded Kane stay backstage for his match tonight no matter what happens.

Match 4: Daniel Bryan defeated Rey Mysterio with the No! Lock in a good 8 minute encounter. During the match, Booker T was with Teddy Long watching on backstage deciding on whether Daniel Bryan should go into the Elimination Chamber match in 2 weeks.

Following the match, Mark Henry made his return. Upon dispatching Daniel Bryan in the aisleway, he made his way into the ring and destroyed Mysterio. Sin Cara ran down and attempted to make the save but was also taken out.

Back from break, Daniel Bryan ran up to Kane backstage demanding why he didn't come out to help him. Kane said Bryan had told him to stay backstage. Bryan said when did Kane ever listen to what he said, and that Kane should apologise. Kane said their friendship means a lot. Bryan asked him "really?". Kane laughed, said no, and walked off.

They aired highlights of the Vince McMahon/Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar segment from last week's RAW.

Lawler and Cole said Vince McMahon had suffered a shattered hip, and undergone hip replacement surgery earlier today.

Big Show was on the phone with Booker T asking where the contract was as he couldn't stay in the hotel all night. There was a knock at the door. It turned out to be room service with his food. He asked for a tip. Show showed him the door and said that next time, get a better job.

They plugged in an IMPACT WRESTLING-style recap commercial that John Cena would confront The Shield tonight.

Michael Cole announced that Booker T had inserted Daniel Bryan into the Chamber match.

Match 5: Sheamus pinned Kane when Daniel Bryan ran down and jumped on the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick off of the distraction for the win.

They re-aired Brock Lesnar giving Vince McMahon the F5. The amount of recapping tonight has been beyond a joke.

The Miz was in the ring for MizTV. As The Miz was talking, Paul Heyman interupted. The Miz said he hadn't introduced him yet. Paul said he'd agreed to be on MizTV to clear his good name. Paul Heyman offered his best wishes to Vince McMahon. Miz said Heyman had to be kidding, as like he cared what happened to Vince. Paul Heyman claimed he had no idea Brock Lesnar was going to show up last week.

Hour 3

Heyman claimed that if Miz watched the tape he would see Heyman was trying to call Brock off Vince. As Miz wasn't having any of Paul's bullshit, Vickie Guerrero came out and backed up Heyman's claims that he had no idea that Brock would be in Vegas. Vickie revealed that she'd actually signed Brock Lesnar to a new contract last week at RAW Roulette in an attempt to impress Vince McMahon, but that had all gone awry when Brock assaulted Vince. She broke down crying on Paul's shoulder. Wiping away fake tears, she then said both herself and Paul should pray for Vince's recovery. Miz said "Really?". Brock Lesnar's music hit, and he made his way to the ring. Miz shoved him, which led to Lesnar beating up Miz and throwing him to the outside. As Brock proceeded to throw the MizTV set out the proverbial window, Miz jumped back in the ring and attempted to take out Lesnar, but to no avail. As Brock was about to F5 The Miz, Michael Cole shouted to "watch the couch", as the upturned sofa was clearly of more importance. Paul told Lesnar "no more", as both men then made their way to the back.

Bo Dallas cut an inset promo.

Match 6: Randy Orton took on Wade Barrett for the 500th time. Seriously, we need some new matches around here...

Randy Orton won with the RKO.

We got a short Fandago vignette. Yes, he's back again. I wonder if this is going to turn into another Brodus Clay where he doesn't début for another 72 months, and ends up with a completely different gimmick than the one originally advertised. Except this will be in reverse, as he'll come out as a serious arse kicker rather than a Strictly Come Dancing knock-off.

Main Event: CM Punk pinned Chris Jericho with the Go To Sleep.

WWE announced that Bruno Sammartino would be inducted into the 2013 Hall of Fame with a long video package. Afterwards, the crowd were shown giving a very respectable standing ovation.

Matt Striker interviewed CM Punk backstage. Punk said he wasn't mad about Rock walking around with his belt while shooting commercials, but rather that Rock was a thief who was walking around with something that belonged to him. Punk claimed the title of Champion belonged to him, and he'll prove he's the best in the world at Elimination Chamber.

They aired a video package showcasing the various press coverage The Rock has garnered in the last week.

Josh Mathews interviewed John Cena backstage. Cena said the time for joking was over. The Shield pushed him last week, so he's going to push back next.

Over-run

Big Show was shown still finishing off his dinner at the hotel when there was another knock at the door. A man turned up with the contract. Show signed the contract, and ignored the man's attempted pleas to get his attention. After re-opening the door, Del Rio was standing there. Show and Del Rio brawled in the corridor, before Del Rio knocked him out with a fire extinguisher. The lift then opened and two men got out (one looking remarkably similar to the guy who'd given Big Show room service earlier). Del Rio said his friend had eaten some bad Mexican food, before riding off in the lift.

Lousy Eric Bischoff impersonator Brad Maddox was in the ring. Maddox said it was going to be him, rather than Cena, who was going to take out The Shield. Brad demanded The Shield come out and face him. The Shield's music hit and they made their way through the crowd. After dismantling Brad Maddox and giving him the Triple Power Bomb, John Cena made his entrance through the crowd, quickly followed by Ryback and Sheamus. As The Shield then attempted to retreat up the aisle, various WWE superstars blocked their exit on the ramp. In a brawl completely devoid of crowd heat, Sheamus, Ryback and Cena fought briefly with The Shield in the ring, before they managed to make their escape back through the crowd to close out RAW.

WWE From The Vault: RAW - 2 Out Of 3 falls match for the United States Championship Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler from June 2011.

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Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Quoted Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with Paul Heyman already in the ring. Heyman said tonight would be the last night they'd ever see him in the WWE, as he had decided to resign. Heyman said that for seven years he had sacrificed everything, including his parents fortune, to bring everyone the most ground breaking product in pro wrestling and sports entertainment history, ECW. Paul said that when he came to the WWE he saw the most physically gifted rookie of all time, and that he turned that rookie into the Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar. Then he met a man he felt was the epitome of everything that the WWE audience would support in CM Punk. Heyman said that he can see into the future, and something really bad was going to happen to CM Punk. That the Sword of Damocles was hanging over everyone's head. Heyman said he had become a distraction, and that the sins of the mentor will end up falling upon his protégé. Punk then came out and asked Paul Heyman what he was doing. Punk said that people admire and look up to Paul Heyman. Paul responded by saying that in the land of the McMahon family, perception is reality. If Punk thought Vince was screwing him at the Royal Rumble, wait until what he does next, and that he does not want Punk to think of him as a martyr, but as his friend. Punk told Paul that on Sunday this "bad dream" that they are living in will end, as at Elimination Chamber, on Day 455 of his historic title reign, things will return to normal when he beats the Rock, and that Paul Heyman will be in his corner to see it happen. Paul Heyman, suddenly rejuvenated and convinced by Punk's pep-talk, says that Punk is right and that he will indeed beat The Rock. He will no quit, and will be there to witness greatness. Heyman and Punk then hugged, as Heyman repeatedly told Punk that he is "the best in the world". Well, that was ultimately a total waste of 15 minutes...

Match 1: Mark Henry defeated Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) with the World's Strongest Slam. After the match, Mark Henry returned to the ring as Hornswoggle was checking on Khali and gave him the World's Strongest Slam as well.

Michael Cole said Randy Orton would take on Mark Henry in a return match on SmackDown Friday.

It was announced John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback would take on 3MB later tonight.

Booker T and Teddy Long were talking backstage about how impressive Mark Henry is, especially beating Orton last Friday. Chris Jericho interrupted and said he wanted to be in the Elimination Chamber. He said it would be good business, and that by being in the Chamber, it would add prestige to the match. Long said he was with Chris, and that he's in. Booker T however said he couldn't just walk in. Teddy Long had an idea. Upon hearing it, Booker responded that his idea sucked. Booker said that if Chris could beat Daniel Bryan he was in. Jericho called him "Daniel Bearden" and then comically impersonated Booker T as he left...

Vickie Guerrero was on the phone in her office when there was a repeated knock at the door. Paul Heyman walked in. Vickie said she didn't have time for Heyman's BS. Paul said she needed to make time. Heyman wanted a stipulation added to the WWE Championship match on Sunday. Vickie asked if he was crazy if he thought she was doing anything to the match without Vince McMahon's approval. Vickie's phone rang. It was Vince. Paul wanted the phone. Paul then attempted to suck up to Vince on speaker, but was told to "Shuuuuuuuuuuuutup". Paul said Rock would try anything to retain the championship, such as intentionally getting disqualified or losing by count-out. Vince decided that should either of those things occur, Rock would lose the WWE Title. As an elated Heyman said he saw Vince like "a father figure", McMahon hung up. Paul Heyman said Vickie had a crappy phone (it was an iPhone) & walked off.

A Fandago vignette aired.

Match 2: Chris Jericho pinned Daniel Bryan following the Code Breaker. Will probably end up being the best match of the show.

Hour 2

Match 3: In a thoroughly entertaining match in front of a hot crowd, John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback defeated 3MB in about 3 minutes when all 3 performed their finishers in unison.

Following the match, Ryback said this Sunday was a day he'd waited a long time for. It was the day that he would feast on The Shield. Sheamus then took the microphone and said for the past few months their opponents have being telling everyone to 'believe in The Shield' - well there was no reason he, Cena and Ryback couldn't get some of their own justice tonight. John Cena, receiving his usual mixed response, said that they would meet the sword tonight, and that if they want some, then they can come get some.

They replayed Del Rio's altercation with Big Show from SmackDown, in which Del Rio stole the wheels off Big Show's bus and poured orange paint/gunge over him and the bus.

They aired footage recorded earlier of Yoshi Tatsu and Alex Riley joking backstage at Big Show's expense, when Show then stormed in and knocked them both out.

Big Show made his way out to the ring to be interviewed by Matt Striker. Striker got about 3 words out before being punched in the face. Show grabbed the microphone and just walked about getting angrier and angrier at the boos from the crowd, before finally throwing the microphone down and storming out.

They re-aired the Bruno Sammartino Hall of Fame induction video from the past week.

Match 4: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) defeated Zack Ryder with the Patriot Act.

Swagger cut a promo, introducing long forgotten gimmick from about 16 years ago, Zeb Colter. Colter, sporting an old fashioned moustache and sounding like Jim Ross spoof Oklahoma, said everyone's forgotten what's wrong with America. He said he and Swagger's father were both in Vietnam. He said he no longer sees a country he recognises. He asked where all these people came from, and how they can get rid of them. He claimed 'real' Americans know the truth. Swagger knows the truth. He said America is now the home of whoever wants to cross the border. He said he's a real Patriot, and that they're going to re-take their country. Yes, they're really doing a "strawberry floating foreigners" gimmick.

Booker T and Teddy Long were watching on backstage, and said Jack Swagger was in the Elimination Chamber. Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E Langston interrupted. Dolph couldn't believe Swagger and Jericho are in the Elimination Chamber. AJ reminded Booker that Dolph still has his Money in the Bank briefcase. Big E Langston said that Dolph wants in on the match too, so he can have two World Title matches and get a chance at Jericho. Booker responded by saying he knows another man who wants in the Chamber. Booker said whomever wins the match later tonight can go in. Booker revealed Ziggler would have to face Kane.

They re-aired MizTV with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar last week.

Antonio Cesaro was on commentary.

Match 5: The Miz defeated Cody Rhodes via Disqualification when Cesaro ran Miz into the ring post. Following the match, Cesaro repeatedly swung Miz into the barricade.

They aired a video promoting the WWE WrestleMania Reading Challenge.

Match 6: Brodus Clay and Tensai beat Primo and Epico in a total squash. After the match, Rosa Mendes got in the face of Cameron and Naomi, and was promptly tossed over the top rope...albeit in slow motion.

Hour 3

The Shield came out through the crowd and cut a promo. They said that they stand united in the ring with a sole purpose - that of shielding the WWE from atrocities. Roman said that John Cena has been the problem in WWE for the past decade. They demanded if they wanted a fight then they can come out and fight them right now. The lights in the arena went out, and upon coming back up Ryback, Cena and Sheamus were brawling in the ring with The Shield. The Shield attempted to make their escape, but were cornered on the outside. All six men fought their way through the crowd, before The Shield managed to run away up through the stands. Cena and company celebrated in the crowd.

They re-aired Paul Heyman's promo from the top of the show.

Damien Sandow cut a promo criticising country music, saying they would rather listen to songs about dead dogs than Mozart.

Match 7: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) tapped out Damien Sandow with the Armbar submission in a little over a minute.

Following the match Del Rio grabbed a microphone, and joked earlier tonight Big Show had given the best promo of his life. Del Rio said the time for all these shenanigans was over, and that once he'd finished with him Sunday, Big Show could take his "tool bus" and go wherever he wanted. Del Rio vowed he was taking the World Championship to WrestleMania.

Backstage, Wade Barrett was making his way out for his match when Bo Dallas jumped and attacked him. Security and referees ran in and broke them up.

We got another vignette for Fandango. Go. Go. Go.

The re-aired highlights of Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston from the New Year's Eve edition of RAW.

Match 8: In their 4000th encounter, Wade Barrett pinned Kofi Kingston in roughly 3 minutes when Kofi got trapped between the ring curtain and apron, which led to Barrett hitting the Bull Hammer elbow.

After the match, Barrett shouted for Bo Dallas to come to the ring.

Main Event: Kane pinned Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee and Big E Langston) to gain entry into the Elimination Chamber match. Finish saw Dolph Ziggler hit the ropes and accidentally knock AJ Lee off the ring apron, causing the distraction and leading to Kane hitting the Chokeslam for the victory.

They aired a video hyping the Elimination Chamber match.

WWE Champion The Rock came out to a big reaction. The Rock said Nashville is very special to him, and that this was going to be "story time with The Rock".

Over-Run

I think he's told this story on The Jonathan Ross Show. Rock said that when he was 15 he moved to Nashville with his family. He said he didn't receive any reaction from the girls at school because they thought he was an undercover cop. Rock name dropped Jeff Jarrett. He said he bought a (likely stolen) car from a crack head in a bar for $40. CM Punk, accompanied by Paul Heyman, interrupted. Rock said the last time they were out in the ring they were attempting to re-enact a scene from Twilight. Rock claimed Paul Heyman & Vince McMahon could stack the deck and make all the stipulations they want as it didn't matter. Punk and Heyman ultimately made their way down the ramp and teased getting into the ring. After pretending he had changed his mind and was going to head to the back, he turned around in an attempt to get the jump on The Rock. They both had a rather sloppy brawl in the ring. As Rock was about to hit the People's Elbow on CM Punk, Paul Heyman tripped him from the outside, allowing Punk to recover and hit Rock with the Go To Sleep. Punk then took the WWE Championship and walked up the ramp. Punk grabbed the microphone and said story time was over. Punk said that every time Rock wants to bring it, he's just going to take it because it belongs to him. He held the title aloft to take RAW off the air.

WWE From The Vault: Alex Riley and Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz and Jack Swagger from June 2011.

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Location: Cajundome; Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

John Cena made his way out to open RAW. He said after last night, we know the two main events for WrestleMania 29: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger (which garnered as close to a zero reaction from the crowd as is humanly possible) and John Cena vs. The Rock. CM Punk's music then hit, and he and Paul Heyman made their way to the ring. Punk claimed John Cena was lucky in the Royal Rumble match, Rock vs. Cena is nothing more than re-run television, and that John Cena is incapable of winning the big one. Punk said Cena should do everyone a favour and leave. John was about to walk out, when he changed his mind and actually said Punk made some good points; he'd never beaten Punk or The Rock. John Cena said he was willing to prove something to himself and his critics by putting his match with The Rock at WrestleMania on the line against CM Punk. If CM Punk can beat him, then he can go on to face The Rock for the WWE Championship instead. Cena wanted it tonight, but CM Punk had other ideas, and said he'd do it on his own terms - next week on RAW.

Cole and Lawler recapped The Shield defeating Cena, Ryback and Sheamus at Elimination Chamber.

A quote from Thomas Jefferson appeared on screen.

Matt Striker interviewed Sheamus backstage. Sheamus said last night didn't go to plan. As he was talking to Striker, Ryback was pacing back and forth. Sheamus stopped Ryback and asked if he was a neanderthal. They were both about to get into it when Chris Jericho stepped in and said they shouldn't be fighting each other, but be putting all their anger towards The Shield. Jericho said he's seen the nWo, and Nexus, and these guys were even worse (stretching credibility somewhat there, Chris...). Jericho said he was going to ask Vickie that they all take on The Shield tonight.

Match 1: Mark Henry pinned Sin Cara following the World's Strongest Slam in a demolition job. After the match, Mark Henry was about to give Sin Cara another World's Strongest Slam when The Great Khali interrupted. As Khali got in the ring, Henry made his exit, mockingly danced a little and shouted to Khali "That's all you do anyway, dancing".

Cole and Lawler recapped the closing moments of Cesaro vs. The Miz from last night. They announced that both men would face each in a rematch tonight on RAW in a No Disqualification match.

They announced via a Tweet that Vickie Guererro had agreed to Sheamus, Ryback and Chris Jericho taking on The Shield later tonight.

They aired another Fandango. Go. Go. Go. vignette.

The Miz and Antonio Cesaro were already in the ring for their match. They re-aired last week's RAW beat-down by Cesaro on the Miz.

Match 2: The Miz defeated United States Champion Antonio Cesaro in a non-title, weapons-strewn No Disqualification match with the Figure Four.

They recapped The Elimination Chamber match from last night.

They aired a pre-tape from http://www.youtube.com/wethepeoplezeb of Zeb Colter, accompanied by Jack Swagger, cutting an anti-IMMIGRATION promo about those blasted piss taking foreigners.

They showed an Abraham Washington Lincoln quote.

Daniel Bryan was walking backstage when he bumped into Kane. Daniel Bryan said he had requested a singles match against Jack Swagger, and that he didn't want Kane coming down. Kane said in which case he was going to request a singles match tonight too, and he didn't want Bryan coming down to assist him either. Kane said he didn't deal well with snakes. The camera then panned out to reveal Randy Orton. He said Kane used to be intimidating but is now more like Barny the Dinosaur, as Kane couldn't believe what he'd just said and Daniel Bryan laughed.

Vickie Guerrero was backstage on the phone when Paul Heyman walked up to her. Vickie mockingly said the stipulations Heyman begged for in the main event last night were a great idea. Vickie told Paul that she had something that would impact on Heyman's entire career, and that they were going to do it in the ring later. Heyman said he doesn't like over-dramatic women, and that he doesn't like surprises. Vickie cackled as she walked off, while Paul had somewhat of a sly grin on his face.

Match 3: Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo)

Hour 2

Alberto Del Rio tapped out Dolph Ziggler with the arm bar.

Following the match, Big E Langston ran over Del Rio and nailed his finishing manoeuvre. Langston proclaimed Del Rio's 'time was over'. Dolph Ziggler then grabbed the Money in the Bank briefcase and was about to cash in when Ricardo stole the briefcase. Big E instantly gave chase, as Ricardo ran to the back, albeit dropping the briefcase on the ramp in the process. AJ Lee went to retrieve it. As Dolph Ziggler was distracted by AJ, Del Rio nailed him with the Enziguri kick.

They announced Kane would take on Randy Orton later tonight.

Wade Barrett was in the ring to cut a promo. He said he's about to become a huge movie star in Dead Man Down. Crowd chanted "What". They aired the film trailer. He was in the trailer for all of 1 second. Sheamus interrupted and said Wade Barrett isn't the star of the film, his mate Colin Farrell is. Sheamus said they were now out of time, while Wade stood in the ring shouting Sheamus had ruined his big moment.

Cole and Lawler, continuing in shill mode, had the WWE Power Slammers toys on the announce table. They aired a video and played with them.

Match 4: Tensai, Brodus Clay and Naomi's arse defeated Primo, Epico and Rosa Mendes in a quick bout.

They aired highlights of the WWE WrestleMania XXX Press Conference from earlier today.

Harry S. Truman quote.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter were in the ring for their President's Day State of the Union Address. A massively disinterested crowd could just about muster a "What" chant. Worth pointing out however that the crowd on this show have been truly diabolical. Zeb Colter went on another IMMIGRATION rant. Del Rio and Ricardo were shown watching on backstage. Zeb said it wasn't a World Title match at Mania, but a battle for America. Daniel Bryan's music interrupted theirs for his match with Swagger.

Match 5: Jack Swagger defeated Daniel Bryan with the Patriot Lock submission.

You've seen more energy in a Post Office on giro day than from this crowd.

Vickie Guerrero was in the ring with Paul Heyman to finally wake the crowd up from their stupor. Vickie said she was going to be naming a new assistant to the Managing Supervisor. She announced it was Brad Maddox. That's all we need, more people in charge. Brad said it was his reward for his loyalty, and exposing Paul and The Shield. He said Vince was so happy with him that he'd given him the opportunity of a lifetime. Vickie and Brad got into the correct pronunciation and semantics of "Managing Supervisor". Vince McMahon appeared on the TitanTron, clutching crutches, seemingly regressing from earlier today when he didn't need them - which in a pure WCW moment had actually aired about 30 minutes ago. Vince showed Paul Heyman saying last week that he'd "do anything" for the stipulation at Elimination Chamber. Vince said he had that put in writing. Vince told Paul Heyman that he could fire him right now, but that was too good for him. Vince said that next week he'd walk to the ring on crutches and the two of them were going to have a fight. Crowd remained dead, having been told twice in one evening what they could expect on RAW from Dallas.

They aired a video promoting the WWE WrestleMania Reading Challenge.

They re-aired the opening confrontation between Punk and John Cena.

Hour 3

Back in the IMPACT ZONE...

Match 6: The Shield beat Chris Jericho, Sheamus and Ryback when Ambrose pinned Jericho after Seth Rollins hit Jericho with a knee to the head off the top rope.

John F. KENNEDY. KENNEDY quote.

Damien Sandow cut a promo. He said many of his family had worked with former Presidents, and then called the crowd nitwits.

Kofi Kingston and Damien Sandow never got going as Sandow jumped Kofi Kingston before the bell. R-Truth ran down to make the save and beat the piss out of Sandow.

Josh Mathews interviewed two cast members of G.I. Joe again in the crowd.

They aired a trailer for G.I Joe.

A Fandango. Go. Go. Go. vignette aired for the 90th time.

Main Event: Randy Orton defeated Kane in a snooze fest when Daniel Bryan came out, distracting Kane and allowing Randy Orton to hit the RKO.

In what has become a staple of 2013, a promo was our final segment. The Louisiana Marching Band were on the stage and ramp to signal the entrance of The Rock. The Rock, clutching the original WWE Spinner belt, made his way to the ring, as the Marching Band played him in. The Rock unveiled the new WWE Championship title which we've seen half-finished photos of for many months.

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He asked a stage hand to take the WWE Spinner title, which he said looked like a toy, to the back and make sure it ends up in the WWE Hall of Fame. Rock polled the crowd on what they thought of it. Seemingly disappointed by their reaction - quite easily the hottest they'd been all night - he needed to ask them to cheer louder 3 times. John Cena made his way out onto the ramp. Before he could do anything, CM Punk sneaked out and nailed him with the WWE Spinner championship, before dumping it on the ramp, pointing at The Rock and walking out. The Rock looked on from the ring at a downed John Cena to take RAW off the air.

WWE From The Vault: Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth vs Rey Mysterio from RAW, June 2011.

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Location: Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Vince McMahon, looking better than he has in years, made his way down to the ring on crutches to kick off RAW. He demanded Paul Heyman come out. Heyman, wearing a black tracksuit, made his way out and confronted Vince in the ring. Heyman told Vince that he has as much chance of beating him tonight as Tony Romo has of leading the Dallas Cowboys to the Super Bowl. Crowd booed. Heyman then said he wants to send him a message, before suddenly tackling Vince to the mat and nailing him with a crutch to the knee. Vince managed to get back to his feet. As Heyman was about to hit him once more, Vince grabbed the crutch and took it off Heyman. As Vince began to lay waste to Paul Heyman with one of his crutches, Brock Lesnar's music filled the arena. Before Lesnar was seemingly about to attack Vince once more in the ring, Triple H's music hit and he slowly made his way down to the ring to confront Lesnar. Brock left the ring and met Triple H in the aisleway. Both men brawled around ringside, before Lesnar was posted extremely hard into the ring post, splitting him wide open. As the camera did its best to avoid filming Brock's head, Triple H sent Lesnar over the barricade into the timekeepers bell table. Lesnar fought back and slammed HHH onto the announce table. Brock tossed Triple H back into the ring, and grabbed a steel chair. HHH countered and hit a Spinebuster on Brock, before grabbing the chair and proceeding to waylay him in the back. Lesnar exited the ring, as Triple H stood tall in the ring, and an extremely bloodied Lesnar smiled in the aisle.

Back from commercial, Michael Cole asked fans to Tout their thoughts on the prior segment.

Match 1: Ryback pinned Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) with Shell Shocked despite repeated interference from AJ Lee and Big E. The "Goldberg" chant once again reared its head.

They aired a trailer for upcoming WWE Studios film The Call staring Halle Berry.

CM Punk made his way to the ring as we headed to break.

CM Punk cut a promo proclaiming he was God, and that tonight wasn't about Cena, The Rock, WrestleMania or even the WWE Championship, but rather it was all about CM Punk.

WWE announced that Donald Trump would be a "Celebrity Honouree" into the Hall of Fame class 2013.

Match 2: In a quick and hard hitting bout, Mark Henry defeated The Great Khali with the World's Strongest Slam.

They aired a clip from DVD and Blu Ray exclusive The Marine 3 staring The Miz. Coming to a petrol station near you soon.

The Miz made his way out for MizTV.

Hour 2

They aired a Fandango. Go. Go. Go. vignette, with an announcement that'll he'll finally be débuting on Social Media SmackDown Friday.

Miz, Zeb Colter, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo were in the ring for MizTV. Long segment played completely straight. There was initially a problem with the microphones, which resulted in a rather prolonged silence as they faffed about replacing it with one that worked. Zeb Colter went on a tirade about illegal and "criminal" Mexican immigrants crossing the border. He said many Mexicans see Del Rio on TV but have no hopes of reaching the same level of success. But instead of leaving and going back home when they've failed, they conveniently forget to leave America. Del Rio said Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger were nothing but bullies who hide behind the Constitution, and there's nothing he hates more than bullies. Del Rio said if they want him to leave, then why don't they do something about it right now. Swagger grabbed the microphone and said they will...at WrestleMania. He closed out by saying "We The People". Crowd were mildly more into this than in previous weeks.

They showed what happened during the break on WWE Active. Zeb Colter confronted The Miz on the ramp and said he didn't like the biased way he had conducted the interview. Miz was then blind-sided by Jack Swagger.

Match 3: In a non-title match Randy Orton defeated United States Champion Antonio Cesaro with an RKO as Cesaro was coming off the turnbuckle.

With JBL being away, it was announced Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole would be on a special 'Live' SMS SmackDown.

They announced the return of WWE: Old School RAW for next week.

Kane and Bryan were watching on backstage. Bryan said why don't they try and get along from now on. Bryan said Kane should stay in the corner tonight, and that he could beat their opponents blind folded. Kane retorted Bryan should stay in the corner and that he could beat their opponents with one arm tied behind his back. Vickie Guerrero and Brad The Mad Ox arrived and said they'd like to see exactly that. Brad called them "Team Brickie", and they announced Kane and Bryan would face the Prime Time Players later tonight.

They re-aired the John Cena and JBL movie trailer spoof from WrestleMania 21.

Sheamus, wearing a tuxedo, made his way out to present Oscar Snubs. They said they'd overlooked a great actor last night in Wade Barrett. In the third movie plug of the night, Sheamus aired a trailer for Dead Man Down. Sheamus said it was a great movie. Sheamus said he wanted to show another clip from the film. This was all at the expense of Wade Barrett, who has a blink-and-you'll-miss-him part in the film. Wade Barrett interrupted, laughing his head off. He said it's well known that the Irish love the colour green, and that it was clearly evident Sheamus was green with envy. In the ring Wade tried to cheap shot Sheamus, but Sheamus ducked and was about to hit the Brogue Kick when Wade made his escape.

Damien Sandow was on commentary as they re-aired R-Truth attacking him last week.

Match 4: R-Truth defeated Cody Rhodes. After the match, Sandow attempted to get the jump on Truth, but was quickly dispatched.

They aired a video from Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger's YouTube channel http://www.youtube.com/wethepeoplezeb on the subject of Jobs. This was funny as they were using a fan to make it look like they were doing this outside in front of a shed or something, rather than in front of a green screen indoors.

Match 5: In a non-title comedy bout, a blindfolded Daniel Bryan (who had a bag on his head) and a one armed Kane defeated The Prime Time Players when Kane Chokeslammed Darren Young for the win.

Hour 3

They re-aired highlights of the opening segment. WWE once again asked fans to Tout their thoughts on it.

The Shield came out from the crowd to cut a promo. They said things have got to get worse before they get better. And that things are going to get a lot worse. They said they're hear to take people out of their comfort zone, and that nobody is going to stop them from fighting and winning every single time. They said at TLC they solved the "John Cena problem". They did? They called Chris Jericho a washed up rockstar. Everyone that's stepped in front of them, they've defeated. Sheamus' music hit and he made his way onto the ramp. He said if they wanted a fight they could come up there and face him. The Shield obliged. As the other two were about to contend with Sheamus on the stage, Randy Orton snuck up on Rollins in the ring and delivered an RKO, before scarpering back through the crowd.

Match 6: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) tapped out The Miz with the Patriot Lock submission.

Michael Cole said there's a video of him attempting to get an interview with Glen Beck earlier today on YouTube.

Jerry Lawler was eating Sonic's new popcorn chicken at the announce table. I guess he gave up waiting for the Domino's Pizza to arrive from last time.

They re-aired highlights of last week when The Rock unveiled the new WWE Championship.

They aired Triple H sending a Tout - his first ever - to Brock Lesnar.

They re-aired the opening brawl between Lesnar and HHH again.

They aired various fan Touts.

Josh Mathews interviewed Mr Jollities John Cena backstage. Basically a drawn out promo in which John Cena vowed victory.

They aired a video promoting Chris Jericho's Robot Combat League on SyFy tomorrow night.

They aired yet another movie trailer, once again for Dead Man Down.

They aired a fan video (re-uploaded by WWE as a Tout) of the Undertaker returning at a Live Event over the weekend.

Main Event: John Cena vs. CM Punk. Long match which went through 2 commercial breaks. Lots of near falls, with both men repeatedly kicking out of and reversing each others finishers. Biggest shock was CM Punk hitting a Piledriver. Finish saw John Cena perform a Hurricanrana, and then the Attitude Adjustment on Punk to retain his position as Number 1 Contender to face WWE Champion The Rock at WrestleMania.

WWE From The Vault: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio, RAW July 2011

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Location: Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 16,597
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with The Undertaker making his return. As he raised the lights, the WWE WrestleMania 29 logo appeared behind him on the TitanTron.

Mean Gene voiced the opening Old School RAW intro. They set the pyro off above the ring on the lighting rig.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman made their way out, followed by Randy Orton and Big Show. Sheamus then also interjected himself. All four men stated their case for wanting to face Undertaker. Vickie Guerrero interrupted and announced that they would all compete tonight against each other in a Fatal Four Way match, with the winner going on to face Undertaker at WrestleMania 29.

Ryback was shown making his way to the ring as All Together by Anthrax (RAW IS WAR) played in the background.

Antonio Cesaro cut an inset promo.

Match 1: Ryback pinned Antonio Cesaro with Shell Shocked after countering the Neutraliser.

As Ryback was making his way to the back, Mark Henry came out for his match and both men had a stare-down in the aisleway.

Match 2: Mark Henry pinned Zack Ryder in quick order.

Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) were shown backstage heading towards the ring with another classic RAW theme (1995) playing in the background.

A short trailer for The Marine 3 aired.

Miz attempted to cut a promo, but the microphone wasn't working. When they finally switched it on, he introduced his mentor Ric Flair.

Match 3: The Miz (w/Ric Flair) defeated Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) with the Figure Four. After the match, Miz and Flair strutted around the ring and elbow dropped thin air.

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Highlight of the show.

They aired a video promoting WWE Magazine's 3 Collectable WrestleMania covers featuring Cena, Rock and Brock Lesnar.

WWE Champion The Rock came out to a huge ovation.

Hour 2

The Rock told a short story about the weather and a woman at the airport saying he should wear a jacket to Buffalo because it was so cold. He'd told her he didn't need a jacket because there was electricity running through him. Well as it turned out she was right, as Buffalo was absolutely freezing. John Cena's music hit and he made his way out to confront The Rock. Cena said that Rock doesn't know what it's like to fail. Cena claimed that last year's loss made him feel worthless, and sent his life to the gooseberry fools. Cena said he couldn't get over the fact he'd told everyone he was going to win but failed. Both men went back and forth proclaiming that they'd win at Mania. John Cena quoted Mike Tyson by saying "In order to be the greatest that ever lived, you have to beat everyone living". Rock then responded with a quote of his own: "Winning is about heart; you just got to have it in the right place". It turned out the person that said it was actually Lance Armstrong. Rock told Cena that Armstrong was full of crap, and so was he.

They aired a trailer for Dead Man Down.

They re-aired The Undertaker coming out at the top of the show.

Match 4: Jim Duggan (w/Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes) defeated Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) via Disqualification when Swagger nailed everyone with Duggan's 2x4 less than a minute into the match. Having laid waist to all 3, Swagger then applied the Patriot Lock to Duggan to minimal heat.

They aired another trailer for inevitable shit-fest The Marine 3, out on Blu Ray and DVD in America tomorrow.

Kane and Daniel Bryan were shown backstage making their way towards the ring.

Michael Cole told us that during the commercial break on WWE Active, The Prime Time players had asked Ted DiBiase to ringside to manage them, but DiBiase had told them that they'd have to win their match first.

Match 5: Team Hell No defeated The Prime Time Players when Kane Chokeslammed Darren Young. After the match, Ted DiBiase shoved a cash note into the mouth of Young, which Daniel Bryan then pinched for himself.

Honky Tonk Man came out and was going to say something but was told to go back to Vegas with all the other Elvis impersonators by 3MB.

Match 6: Sweet T (Tensai) and Brodus Clay beat 3MB in about 30 seconds with a roll-up. After the match, Honky Tonky Man and 3MB strutted and danced around the ring, but were interrupted by Heath Slater, who then promptly received the obligatory guitar shot to the head.

They aired a video from from the red carpet of Dead Man Down. Really had enough of these movie trailers now...

Strictly Come Dancing spoof Fandango. Go. Go. Go came out with his dance partner for his match with Kofi Kingston. The match never started because Fandango wasn't happy with the way Ring Announcer Justin Roberts was pronouncing his name. Fandango said he wouldn't début until people could say his name right, and walked off.

They aired a recap video of last week's brawl between Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman and Triple H and Brock Lesnar.

Hour 3

Triple H, sporting what looked to be a massive hole in his forehead when he first appeared, came out to cut a promo. He said last year after SummerSlam he had told everyone that he wasn't sure if he was going to return, but in truth he didn't know whether he was trying to convince the fans or himself. After training every day in the gym, he said he was in the best shape of his life, and that in reality all he needed was an excuse to come back. And that excuse came when he was in hospital with his family, watching his wife Stephanie and their kids crying beside Vince McMahon's bedside after Brock Lesnar had given Vince the F5. Triple H said last week he knew Paul Heyman would go to Lesnar for help. With only 5 weeks to WrestleMania, Hunter announced he was calling out Brock Lesnar for a match at the biggest stage of them all.

They re-aired the conclusion of Big Show vs. Randy Orton from SMS SmackDown last Friday.

They aired a pre-recorded message from The Shield. They said Undertaker wasn't the only one with an undefeated streak in WWE, and sarcastically wished Sheamus and Orton luck in their match tonight.

Match 6: In a non-title Champion vs. Champion encounter, Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) submitted Wade Barrett with the Cross Arm Breaker.

Match 7: A returning New Age Outlaws defeated Primo and Epico (w/Rosa) when Billy Gun nailed the Fame Asser on Primo for the pin.

During the match, Jerry Lawler got a rather sheepish "puppies" reference in. Cole responded by saying he'd just made a lot of people on Twitter happy.

They re-aired highlights of The Rock and Cena confrontation from earlier tonight.

Lawler accidentally said he was going to send Stephanie McMahon a Twit.

They aired a selection of fan Touts about who Undertaker should wrestle at Mania.

There was a selection of birthday cakes lit with candles in the entrance way to celebrate Mae Young's 90th Birthday. Various WWE wrestlers, including former boyfriend Mark Henry, were out there to wish her a Happy Birthday. Gene Okerlund led the arena in singing "Happy Birthday", which was then promptly stopped by the arrival of CM Punk and Paul Heyman, who barged past everyone en-route to the ring for the main event.

Main Event: CM Punk defeated Sheamus, Randy Orton (pinfall with the GTS) and Big Show to win the right to face Undertaker at WrestleMania.

The lights went and the dong sounded, signalling the arrival of The Undertaker once more, to close RAW just as it had started.

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Location: Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Proceedings got under way with Justin Roberts asking fans to rise and pay their respects to the late Paul Bearer, as they then aired a tribute video on the Tron. The bell then tolled to signal the arrival of The Undertaker, who made his way down to the ring. As 'Taker was knelt paying his respect to an urn that they'd set up in the ring, CM Punk interrupted. The crowd booed him out of the building. Punk told the crowd to "simmer down", as they had it all wrong. He was there to offer his deepest apologies to the Undertaker for his loss...at WrestleMania. CM Punk said in the eyes of Paul Bearer, Undertaker would forever be perfect. Undertaker would forever be 20-0 at WrestleMania. But in the eyes of everyone else, Undertaker would be 20-1. Punk claimed that in 50 years, everyones's grandchildren will be asking where they were when he ended The Streak.

Back from commercial, they aired what had happened during the commercial break on WWE Active. Kane came out and attempted to Chokeslam CM Punk off the stage, but Punk was able to counter and make his escape.

A furious Kane was shown smashing up the backstage area and throwing people around on the hunt for CM Punk.

They aired what had happened last week after RAW had gone off the air, with The Shield attacking Big Show and giving him the Triple Power Bomb.

Match 1: Big Show vs. Seth Rollins ended in Disqualification when The Shield attacked Show on the outside. Despite Big Show's best efforts, he was eventually out numbered, before receiving another Triple Power Bomb.

Brad The Mad Ox and Vickie Guerrero were talking backstage in their office when CM Punk turned up. Vickie said whether he intended to or not, he had disrespected the memory of Paul Bearer, and for that he would be facing Kane in a No Disqualification match later tonight.

They re-aired Ricardo throwing water all over AJ Lee on Smackdown, and then the subsequent confrontation between AJ and Daniel Bryan backstage, in which Bryan said as AJ was with Dolph Ziggler that she should be used to things lasting 18 seconds.

Remembering Paul Bearer: His début from the February 16th 1991 edition of WWF Superstars, in which he was introduced by Brother Love.

They asked fans to Tout their memories of Paul Bearer, and they'd air some of them on the show later.

Match 2: Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) defeated Daniel Bryan with the Zig Zag. Bryan had the match won with the No! Lock, but Langston pulled Ziggler's foot onto the ropes as AJ Lee distracted the referee. After the match, Big E planted Daniel Bryan with his still as yet unnamed finishing manoeuvre.

They aired a video package on the Triple H and Brock Lesnar feud.

The WWE Slam of the Week was Honky Tonky Man smashing a guitar over the head of Heath Slater last week.

"Sweet T" Tensai (sporting new gear) vs. Fandango never took place as Tensai, who had demanded Fandago hurry up and get to the ring, had apparently pronounced Fandago's name wrong. This is getting seriously old.

They trailed Rock's new film, GI Joe.

Remember Paul Bearer: His return at WrestleMania XX in 2004 with the Undertaker.

Hour 2

Damien Sandow said "The following interpretation was brought to you in taste and good form." Rhodes and Sandow did a phenomenal spoof-of-a-spoof of The DX Michael Buffer introduction. They were then interrupted by the Outlaws, who did it properly, and dedicated it to "Percy".

Match 3: The New Ages Outlaws and Team Rhodes Scholars ended in a No Contest when Brock Lesnar, accompanied by Paul Heyman, walked in and wasted the Outlaws with the F5. Paul Heyman then got on the microphone and said Brock Lesnar accepts Triple H's challenge for WrestleMania, but on one condition; Triple H has to agree to their match stipulations, which they won't reveal until HHH has signed the contract.

Match 4: Mark Henry pinned Kofi Kingston in a squash with the World's Strongest Slam.

The Bella twins, clearly having had zero success outside of wrestling and not fancying a career in porn, returned in a backstage skit with Rhodes Scholars and Kaitlyn. Vickie Guerrero arrived and announced as Rhodes Scholars had had their match interrupted, they'd be facing Sheamus and Randy Orton later tonight.

They aired a sneak peak of Psych staring Big Show, which Sky Sports cut from straight away, realising we'd rather watch our own commercials...

Match 5: Ryback pinned Heath Slater (w/3MB) in a 30 second squash. After the match, Drew McIntyre jumped Ryback, but was quickly out-muscled. Mark Henry then made his way into the ring, and both he and Ryback took it in turns annihilating Drew, before going face to face.

They aired a trailer for upcoming WWE Studios film The Call with Halle Berry.

They aired a seriously old-school inset promo with Alberto Del Rio. This was right out of the 80s...

Match 6: In a non-title match, World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) defeated United States Champion Antonio Cesaro with the Cross Arm Breaker.

Josh Mathews was backstage for an interview with Kane. Josh said that it must be a very troubling time for him. Kane was clutching Paul Bearer's urn. A fan then loudly shouted "SAY SOMETHING!", before Kane solemnly walked off.

Remembering Paul Bearer: Various clips of Paul Bearer introducing Kane from late September/early October 1997, including Kane's début from Badd Blood.

They aired a music video hyping The Rock vs. John Cena II.

Hour 3

They re-aired Brock Lesnar beating up the Outlaws from earlier.

Match 7: Sheamus and Randy Orton defeated Rhodes Scholars when Sheamus pinned Sandow following the Brogue Kick.

They aired what had happened during the commercial on WWE Active, with The Shield attacking Sheamus and Orton on the stage.

They aired various Touts from fans remembering Paul Bearer.

Chris Jericho was out for the Highlight Reel with The Miz and Wade Barrett. They aired another bloody film trailer, this time for The Marine 3. They joked that Jericho's set had vanished, possibly due to budget cuts. Wade Barrett interrupted. They then aired another trailer for Dead Man Down. They had a "Really"-off. Michael Cole said this segment was a load of absolute gooseberry fool. This is where I left to go brush my teeth. Brad Maddox came out and rambled about something or other, as the announcers buried the whole segment and told the truck just to go to commercial break.

Wade Barrett inserted himself on commentary.

Match 8: In a Number 1 Contenders match for the Intercontinental Championship, Chris Jericho vs. The Miz ended in Disqualification when Wade Barrett interfered after Jericho threw Miz into him at the announce table and he then attacked them both. Miz and Jericho regained the upper hand and hit Barrett with the Code Breaker and the Skull Crushing Finale.

They re-aired a YouTube video of Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo dressed as Swagger and Zeb Colter from SmackDown.

Remembering Paul Bearer: Paul Bearer and Mr Fuji skit from WrestleMania XI involving current Blue Blood star Nicholas Turturro.

Zeb Colter cut a promo berating Sin Cara, and said the only reason fans cheer him is because he has a nice entrance and bounces around the ring like a Mexican Jumping Bean. Crowd began to turn on this and chanted "boring". This storyline couldn't be less over.

It was announced that due to chaos backstage, Vickie Guerrero had made a Triple Threat match for the Intercontinental Championship next week between Miz, Barrett and Jericho.

Match 9: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) tapped out Sin Cara with the Patriot Lock. Swagger refused to break the hold, which led to Alberto Del Rio running down and the two of them got into a short, & pretty crappy, brawl.

They aired a pre-taped interview with Halle Berry about The Call. David Otunga interrupted her with a phone call, telling her that he'd 'accidentally' released her number to a load of people. This led to Kane calling her, asking why she never responds to his fan mail. She then hung up, raised her arms and set off Kane's pyro on the ring posts. This wasn't anywhere near as funny as you'd probably expect.

The WWE Rewind was from earlier in the night of Undertaker and CM Punk.

They announced Ryback will take on Mark Henry on SmackDown.

CM Punk made his way out.

Over-Run

Main Event: Kane (w/Paul Bearer's urn) defeated CM Punk in a No Disqualification match after Punk was distracted by Undertaker's dong (lewd) and Kane capitalised with a Chokeslam for the pin. After the match, Kane in the ring and Undertaker on the stage knelt and saluted each other in scenes reminiscent of January 1998 prior to the Royal Rumble. As Kane was doing so, CM Punk snuck up behind him and repeatedly nailed him with the urn. As Undertaker made his way into the ring, Punk scarpered with the urn up the aisleway, before mockingly kneeling and clutching the urn, as both men stared each other down to take RAW off the air. Just what a 3 hour show needs...an extra 15 minutes.

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Location: Pittsburgh
Attendance: 15,464
Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Show opened with John Cena coming out. As he received his usual mixed response, Cena said fans have 20 days to pick a side, and vowed he was ready for WrestleMania. He was interrupted by, of all people, the Prime Time Players: Darren Young and Rufus "Pankcake" Patterson (Titus O'Neil in blue overalls, a silly afro wig and geeky glasses). 'Rufus' said fans don't want to see Cena at WrestleMania, but the Prime Time Players. Rufus claimed some people say Young looks like John Cena, and with Cena being on the front of Fruity Pebbles, Darren should be on the cover of Cocoa Pebbles. "Pancake" claimed he would have no problem tearing Cena limb from limb, but he has gout in his leg, and it's bingo night on Friday. He said Young however would have no problem doing so. Young took the microphone and said Cena would be crying on the ramp, just like he was at WrestleMania 28.

Match 1: John Cena pinned Darren Young with the AA.

They announced Undertaker would be here later tonight.

The recapped Ryback and Mark Henry from SmackDown and ensuing beat-down of Ryback at the hands of The Shield and then Mark Henry.

Ryback was shown making his way to the ring for a match with David Otunga.

Match 2: Ryback defeated David Otunga with Shellshocked in a total squash.

Ryback took the microphone and said he was going to tear The Shield apart at Mania. And on the way, he and Mark Henry's paths would cross again. Mark Henry then came out, quickly followed by Teddy Long and Vickie Guererro. Teddy told Henry not to go any further. Vickie announced that she was taking Ryback out of the 6 man tag match at WrestleMania with Sheamus and Randy Orton and instead Ryback would face Mark Henry. Henry pointed at the WrestleMania sign, before Ryback grabbed Otunga, shouted "THIS IS YOU" at Henry and nailed him with another Shellshocked.

They announced Triple H and Brock Lesnar would sign the contract tonight, while Jerry Lawler's theme music inexplicably played in the background.

A Fandango. Go. Go vignette aired yet again, saying he will début next.

Fandango came out and started dancing on the stage with his partner. As he entered the ring, a giant silhouette of his pose was hanging from the rafters, which then ignited Jeff Jarrett/Sid Justice style. Well...kind of.

They re-aired a confrontation Khali and Fandango had from SmackDown, in which Khali struggled to say Fandango's name.

'dango took the microphone and said as Khali was too stupid to say his name, he asked if Natalya could pronounce it. She said "Fan. DANG. Go-get-him Khali". Before Khali could do so, Fandango made his escape, and said people weren't going to see his debut tonight either. Crowd then turned on this big style and chanted "You can't wrestle", as a fan in the aisle shouted "Nobody cares" at him. This sucks the full 10 inches.

Damien Sandow cut a promo at the expense of his opponent R-Truth. He said the "R" in R-Truth stood for Repugnant. Truth responded with a poem that wouldn't look out of place in a Primary School.

Match 3: R-Truth defeated Damien Sandow via Count-Out when Sandow simply walked out on the match.

Cody Rhodes was watching on backstage with the Bellas, when Kaitlyn showed up. She said the Bellas could have Cody's moustache...and he could have theirs.

Undertaker, having stepped straight out of Assassin's Creed, made his entrance to the ring. They débuted a new name graphic during his entrance.

Undertaker said Punk had sealed his own fate when he chose to make this personal. He said he was going to hurt him and hurt him bad, however Punk still has one last chance to save his soul by giving him back the urn. A somewhat off Paul Bearer impersonation filled the arena, only for it to be revealed as CM Punk on the Tron. Punk was clutching Paul Bearer's urn and moving the lid as if it was talking. Punk told Undertaker no disrespect but he couldn't hit the high notes. Punk continued to mock that Paul Bearer was talking to him from the urn.

Hour 2

Punk was doing various tricks with the urn, throwing it about and catching it in one hand to another. Punk said he was willing to go through hell to beat The Streak. As Punk was playing with the urn, he then 'accidentally' dropped it on the floor and said "Oh gooseberry fool" in the process, which the WWE managed to mute out.

They re-aired the closing moments of the previous segment...and forgot to bleep out Punk saying gooseberry fool.

Match 4: Team Hell No defeated Primo and Epico (w/Rosa Mendes) when Kane Chokeslammed Epico. During the match, AJ Lee came out and started skipping around ringside.

Josh Mathews was interviewing Chris Jericho backstage when Fandango interrupted. Jericho asked him to introduce himself. When he did so, Jericho started mocking his name by calling him everything under the sun. FanDumbo. FanDungo. FanJango. FanDangler. Fan Wango-TANGO....

They aired a clip of Alicia Fox and Natalya in Africa.

They showed Jack Swagger attacking Del Rio with a sneak attack on Main Event last Wednesday, costing him a match with Big Show.

Match 5: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) defeated Cody Rhodes with the Arm Breaker. Alberto Del Rio's got a rejigged and bouncier version of his entrance music. The crowd weren't into this match or Del Rio at all. Del Rio even received a smattering of boos.

After the match, Jack Swagger attacked Del Rio. As Ricardo tried to intervene, he was tossed to the outside. Del Rio managed to regain the upper hand and both men brawled on the outside. With Swagger down, Del Rio set his sights on Zeb Colter. Jack Swagger nailed Del Rio from behind and sent him flying over the announce table. The crowd chanted "USA, USA". Jack Swagger was about to make his way to the back, but Zeb pointed to Ricardo who was crawling on the outside. Swagger applied the Patriot Act to Ricardo, seemingly breaking his ankle in the process.

There was a Swagger = no ratings sign in the crowd.

The Twitter Ticker has been all over this show.

They recapped the closing moments of Swagger's attack, and Ricardo being carted out on WWE Active.

They announced Booker T as the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class 2013. In what was blatantly a rib, they included his infamous "Hulk Hogan, we comin' for you..." line in his interview from WCW's Spring Stampede 1997.

They confirmed Ricardo has suffered a broken ankle.

Hour 3

Match 6: Randy Orton and Sheamus defeated 3MB when Orton pinned Heath Slater following an RKO.

After the match, The Shield made their way through the crowd to ringside. Just as they were about to enter the ring, Big Show made his way down, which led to The Shield making their exit. Big Show, looking at Sheamus and Orton, then pointed at the WrestleMania sign before leaving.

They trailed GI Joe.

Match 7: Dolph Ziggler (w/Bigger Tits Than Your Girlfriend and AJ Lee) pinned Kofi Kingston when AJ Lee caused a distraction on the apron allowing Big E to interfere and attack Kingston, which led to Ziggler nailing the ZigZag for the win.

After the match, tag team champions Kane and Daniel Bryan came out on the stage and challenged Ziggler and Big E to a tag team match. AJ Lee said they'd accept on one condition: they put the titles on the line at WrestleMania. Kane and Bryan shouted "Yes! Yes! Yes!".

They re-aired the Undertaker and CM Punk segment from earlier.

They re-aired the preview video hyping John Cena vs. The Rock II from last week.

Main Event: Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett retained the championship against The Miz and Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat match. Finish saw The Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett roll-up Miz for the win. Was quite comfortably the match of the show.

They aired a video from the red carpet for The Call.

They aired various fan Touts on what the stipulation should be for Triple H against Brock Lesnar. There was a fan who called herself "Tout Girl", blatantly having a better idea in how to get over than half the roster...

Over-run

WrestleMania Contract Signing: In a segment that went on for 90 hours and was greeted by near total silence, Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar was made official for WrestleMania 29 in a No Holds Barred match, with the added stipulation - which I swear not one person in the building reacted to - that if Triple H loses, his career is over. Triple H had his sledge hammer stuck underneath the table, which he used to keep Lesnar and Heyman at bay on the outside. Heyman brought his own security to the ring, who Triple H ultimately wasted when Heyman made derogatory remarks about Stephanie McMahon. Triple H assaulted Heyman and signed the contract, which brought out Brock Lesnar with a steel chair.

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Location: Philadelphia
Attendance: 18,168
Commentary: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

The night's merriment and jollities opened with CM Punk and Paul Heyman making their way out to the ring. Heyman was clutching the urn, and was also sporting bruising around his left eye. CM Punk started by stating what "they" think about the urn doesn't matter, and that "they" don't know what they're talking about. CM Punk said he didn't take the urn to disrespect Paul Bearer, but because it means everything to the Undertaker. Punk said however that it doesn't mean anything to him, therefore he just dropped the urn in the ring. Punk vowed victory and that he was "the 1 in 20 and 1". Punk said he was waiting for the lights to go out and the chill to enter the arena. The lights then did go out and when they went back up Undertaker was in the ring behind Punk. Undertaker went to work on Punk with punches and body shots. As he was doing so, Punk dropped the urn and it rolled to the outside, allowing it to be promptly picked up by Paul Heyman, who quickly made his escape to the back. Punk also rolled to the floor, to be joined by a returning Heyman on the stage.

They announced both The Rock and John Cena would face a Q&A Hall of Fame Panel later tonight.

Fandango made his way out with his dancer for competitive action. After going through his "Fandango" spiel, Chris Jericho sprinted his way down to the ring and assaulted Fandango, who quickly made his escape up the aisle. Crowd were massively into this.

As Chris Jericho was already in the ring they made the decision to have his scheduled match for later tonight right now.

Match 1: Chris Jericho tapped out Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E Langston and AJ Lee) clean with the Walls of Jericho.

After the match, Big E nailed Jericho from behind and and hit his finishing move. As Jericho was laid out, Fandando returned, danced in the ring with his partner, and then attacked Jericho, before finally hitting his top rope leg drop. The crowd loudly chanted "You can't wrestle". Fandango grabbed the microphone as Jericho audibly and repeatedly told him what to do. Jericho tapped Fandango's leg and told him to 'look at him'. This almost killed it as there's no way people at home won't have heard all of this. Fandango then shouted "It's Fandango".

Matt Striker interviewed Sheamus backstage, as they re-aired highlights of the six man tag main event from SmackDown (3MB vs Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton). Sheamus said in the beginning he didn't trust Big Show as much as Randy Orton but after SmackDown when they were all standing tall against The Shield that changed. The Shield then ran in and began putting the boots to Sheamus, before Randy Orton came in with a steel chair. The Shield retained the upper-hand until Big Show arrived and sent all three men packing, leaving himself, Sheamus and Orton standing seemingly united.

Match 2: Mark Henry defeated Jimmy & Jey Uso in a 2 on 1 Handicap match with the World's Strongest Slam. Afterwards, he delivered a further two consecutive World Strongest Slam's on the brothers, before then hitting a splash on one of them.

It was announced that Ryback would compete later tonight in a Handicap match of his own at his request.

Ricardo came out in a cast and on crutches to introduce Alberto Del Rio.

Hour 2

Match 3: In a Champion vs. Champion encounter, United States Champion Antonio Cesaro defeated World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio when Alberto Del Rio was Counted Out. Jack Swagger attacked Ricardo on the outside & went to work on his leg again during the match, which caused Del Rio to jump to Ricardo's aid and brawl with Swagger on the outside and through the crowd, ultimately leading to the referee counting him out. Del Rio went to check on Ricardo. As Cesaro was celebrating on the turnbuckle, Alberto Del Rio got in the ring and jumped him from behind. Del Rio then applied the Arm Breaker to a very muted reaction. There's no escaping the fact now that Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger and this entire storyline isn't over.

They recapped highlights of CM Punk's opening promo.

Match 4: In a non-title match, Tag Team Champions Team Hell No beat The Prime Time Players when Kane Chokeslammed Darren Young for the pin. Afterwards Kane and Bryan stared down Diggler, Big E and AJ Lee who were watching the match on the stage.

They announced all three members of The Shield would be in action tonight.

They aired a video package recapping the contract signing between Triple H and Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman.

Chief Operating Officer, The King of Kings, The Game, The Cerebral Assassin, The 13 Time World Champion Triple H came down to the ring for the shortest Triple H promo in living memory. He said that for the first time ever he is entering a situation at WrestleMania where if he loses his career is over. He said he's had a 20 year career, and every day he has fought like his career and life has depended on it. So if Paul Heyman thinks he's made some "grand coo" by adding the stipulations then he's mistaken. Triple H said he had some advice of his own for Brock Lesnar, and that's he needs to pretend that it's his career on the line.

As Triple H was making his way to the back, Wade Barrett's music interrupted and he sauntered down to the ring for his match. As he and HHH stared at each other in the aisleway, HUNTER THE GREAT DESTROYER kicked him in the gooseberries.

Match 5: In a non-title match, The Miz defeated Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett via submission with the Figure Four.

Kane and Bryan were backstage discussing their match at Mania and arguing over their previous relationship with AJ Lee. Kaitlyn walked in and said it's obvious they still haven't gotten over her. AJ Lee came in through another door and was listening to their conversation, as the other three remained completely oblivious. Kaitlyn then called AJ Lee crazy, which led to AJ losing it and wildly attacking her and throwing her into what appeared to be a steel sink on the wall. That or a drinking fountain. Yes, it's that important. Kane and Bryan grabbed AJ and carted her off into another room.

Hour 3

Match 6: The Shield defeated Justin Gabrielle, Great Khali and Zack Ryder in a nothing match.

After the match, The Shield beatdown Khali and gave him the Triple Powerbomb. Sheamus and Randy Orton came out on the stage. Big Show appeared from the crowd. All three men dismantled The Shield and sent them packing through the crowd.

They recapped Jericho and Fandango's confrontation from earlier.

Jericho was shown coming out of Vickie Guerrero's office. Josh Mathews stopped him and asked him what they had spoken about. Jericho said that Fandango was going to get his wish, as at WrestleMania it was going to be him vs. Fandango.

Team Rhodes Scholars came out. Sandow had the microphone and said they were in a city famous for its greasy sandwiches and a stadium which holds a prison inside of it. Despite that, they had a gift for Philadelphia: New Boobs. I mean The Bellas.

Match 7: In yet ANOTHER bloody rematch, Team Rhodes Scholars (w/The Bellas) beat Sweet T and Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls) off a distraction when the girls got into it on the outside in another 2 minute match.

Match 8: Ryback defeated 3MB in a 3 on 1 Handicap match with a Double Stack Shellshocked on Jinder and Heath.

There was a "Steph: resign from Creative" sign in the crowd.

They announced Mark Henry will take on Ryback in a Wieghtlifting Competition on SmackDown.

The re-aired highlights of Jack Swagger breaking Ricardo's ankle from last week's RAW, and the attack from earlier tonight.

They announced Arnold Schwarzenegger will induct Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

Main Event: In a non-title bout, AJ Lee defeated Divas Champion Kaitlyn via Count Out when AJ sidestepped a Spear and Kaitlyn crashed into the barricade.

It was now time for the Q&A Hall of Fame Panel, moderated by Jerry Lawler. They had 4 chairs, desk, 2 podiums and black carpet set up in the ring. The Hall of Famers - Booker T, Mick Foley, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart (who was not walking well at all) - were all individually introduced by Lawler, and given a very brief video package.

WWE Champion The Rock came out first, followed by John Cena.

Over-run

Staggeringly long segment that went a quite ridiculous 35 MINUTES. It was good but this was practically the same thing extended for a ridiculous amount of time. Smattering of fans were leaving during this. Each guy on the panel asked either Cena or Rock a question, and then the other guy could then offer a rebuttal. Mick Foley opened by asking Cena if he was prepared to live with the regret if he fails to defeat Cena for a second time. Cena said if he wins he gets the WWE Championship and much needed redemption. He said last year losing wasn't an option, but he ultimately lost, so he's well aware that it is an option. Cena brought up Donovan McNabb to a chorus of boos. The WWE Universe want to invest in someone that can win the Big One. And if he doesn't, he'll carry the legacy of Donovan McNabb. Statistics said he is the greatest Quarterback to ever put on an Eagles uniform, yet the crowd still boo him. Why? Because he could never win the big one. With Philly's passion, they deserve someone that can win the big one. Cena said it may be a lot of regret but he'll be able to live with failure. Rock in comparison knows nothing of failure. Smattering of "boring" chants at this point. Rock responded with story time with The Rock. He said he had to get a mattress out of a dumpster when he was 23. He reiterated his story of how he flopped when he initially came to the WWF. Bret Hart was next and said it upset him that last year it became a Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels type situation filled with bad blood, yet this year something has seemingly changed. The Rock said he respected Cena for taking his loss last year like a man, and he didn't bitch and complain. Cena responded by saying he originally started all of this in an interview. He thought Rock was only here for "once in a lifetime", but in actual fact had kept coming back, and has proven his love for the WWE. Cena said he took his loss like a man, now we'd see how Rock would take his. Booker T followed by asking them both why John Cena is going to defeat the Rock. Cena blew it off by simply saying that "he has to". Rock asked what kind of shallow answer that was. Cena snapped back that Rock didn't beat him last year, and that he actually beat himself. He made one bad decision by attempting to hit the Rock Bottom on Rock and it backfired. He got caught up in the moment, but that won't happen again this year. Rock fired back that if he had him beat, he would have beaten him. Rock quoted Ric Flair that "to be the man...wooo...you've got to beat the man", and that Cena can't beat the man because he isn't the man. And finally Dusty Rhodes asked his question; What do they really want out of their match? Cena said what he really wants is for Rock to be staring up at the lights. The guy that he said would never belong in the Attitude Era, belongs. He wants the loss at Mania 29 to haunt Rock the rest of his life. Rock said Cena would be stuffing his face full of fruity pebbles asking himself how he lost to Rock yet again. Rock asked him to prove him wrong right now. Ultimately ended with Cena and Rock coming face-to-face. Cena got Rock up for the AA, but Rock reversed and hit the Rock Bottom to leave Cena laying. Show ended with Rock standing tall on the stage, and Cena in the ring with a despondent look on his face. Thank God this segment wasn't next week at 4:20...

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Location: Washington, DC
Attendance: 16,733
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

They announced in the opening video package that Shawn Michaels would be here tonight Live.

John Cena came out to a chorus of boos & "Cena sucks" chants to open the show. He cut a 10 minute promo vowing victory at WrestleMania, and was also greeted by a loud "boring" chant, cutting him off in his stride. Last year Cena and Rock would have come down to the ring and made fun of each other, but this year those childish games were over with. Cena proclaimed Rock as the greatest WWE Champion of all time, but on Sunday "The Rock's Time Is Up and My Time Is Now". Cena said that in Rock's very first defence of his new WWE Championship belt, he will lose it.

Cole plugged Tout, and asked fans to Tout their videos on Cena and Rock. He then filmed Lawler cutting a promo and uploaded it.

Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show were shown backstage heading to the ring.

They recapped the conclusion to Friday Night SmackDown, in which a united Sheamus, Orton and Show fought off The Shield through the crowd.

Match 1: Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show defeated 3MB when Big Show hit Jinder Mahal with the Knockout Punch for the pin.

As they celebrated in the ring, The Shield made their way through the crowd, stopping on the steps. They sarcastically congratulated them on their victory tonight, but said at WrestleMania, Orton and company would be staring up at the sky asking themselves what went wrong. Seth Rollins took the microphone and said they may have managed to convince themselves and the audience that they're on the same page, but The Shield knows that they're a phony team.

They announced Zeb Colter will face Alberto Del Rio later tonight.

They aired a pre-tape of Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter on the streets of Washington spouting his usual rhetoric.

Matt Striker interviewed Alberto Del Rio. He called Zeb Colter a Piñata with a moustache.

They showed Vince McMahon's first Tweet on the screen.

Match 2: Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee and Big E Langston) defeated Daniel Bryan when Bryan dropkicked Langston on the outside and Ziggler rolled him up off the distraction. After the match, Langston ran over Bryan and hit his finisher. Kane came in and regained the upper hand, but was also out-muscled and laid out by Langston with his finishing manoeuvre. Ziggler and Langston then posed with the tag titles.

Shawn Michaels' music hit and he made his way out to the ring.

Hour 2

Shawn Michaels said he became concerned when Triple H put his career on the line. This immediately brought out Triple H. HHH said he thought they'd talked about this already, and that he knows what he's doing. Hunter said it's the same situation as Taker vs. Shawn. Michaels replied by saying that they couldn't be more different; he had respect for Undertaker and Undertaker had respect for him. When he lost he was heartbroken, but he knew Taker was too. Undertaker never once bragged about his victory. In contrast Lesnar has no respect for anyone, and Triple H doesn't respect him either. Shawn Michaels said that Lesnar simply does this for the money and the joy of hurting people. Michaels said he came to the realisation that he doesn't care nearly as much for wrestling as Huntor, where for him it's his life. Hunter said that if he's trying to talk him out of it to save his breath. Michaels said he wasn't, and that come Mania he'd better kick Lesnar's ass. And he will be right there in his corner to see it happen. This brought out Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Heyman kept Lesnar on the ramp. Heyman said HHH was going to have to live with the disappointment of losing, and disappointing Vince McMahon, the Board of Directors and his wife Stephanie McMahon. But he was probably used to doing that anyway. Heyman concluded by saying Triple H was about to commit "professional suicide".

They recapped highlights of Cena's promo at the top of the show & The Shield.

Miz was on commentary.

They announced Miz vs. Wade Barrett will take place on the Pre-Show 1 hour prior to WrestleMania 29.

Match 3: Wade Barrett pinned Zack Ryder with the Bullhammer Elbow.

Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox were in their office when Santino turned up and said he saw Vince McMahon storming out of his limo, and that he was mad as hell at the both of them. He then shouted "April Fools". Vickie and Brad said Santino would be in a match tonight, and that he'd be the fool.

They re-aired highlights of the Bench Press Challenge from SmackDown.

Match 4: Mark Henry destroyed Santino in about 30 seconds.

Ryback came out and confronted Henry. Henry reminded Ryback that they had a No Contact Clause, and that all they'd be doing tonight was smiling, before smiling himself from ear-to-ear. As Mark Henry was leaving the ring, Ryback picked up Santino and ran him into Henry, knocking him to the outside. He then picked up Santino and chucked him over the top rope, taking out Henry. Ryback then shouted "stupid", much to the annoyance of Henry.

Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger were shown talking backstage.

Matt Striker interviewed CM Punk backstage. Striker asked Punk if he was disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer. Punk, still clutching the urn, said a better question was whether he gives a damn if he's disrespecting his memory. He claimed Undertaker was more interested in Paul Bearer's Streak of no longer waking up in the morning. He said he will do whatever it takes to beat the Undertaker.

They re-aired highlights of Swagger breaking Ricardo's ankle.

After the introductions, Alberto Del Rio ordered Ricardo to go backstage but he ignored him and came to ringside anyway.

Match 5: Alberto Del Rio and Zeb Colter (w/Jack Shagger) ended in Disqualification when Zeb Colter grabbed Ricardo's crutch and nailed Del Rio with it. After the 'match', Colter and Swagger wasted Del Rio with Ricardo's crutches.

They again re-aired highlights of John Cena's promo from the start of the show.

Hour 3

The Rock came out and cut a catchphrase and inanimate objects up bottoms promo.

Match 6: In a long match, Chris Jericho defeated Antonia Cesaro with the Walls of Jericho. Fandango came out during the match and started scoring Jericho's performance Strictly Come Dancing style. After the match Fandango assaulted Jericho.

It was announced via Twitter that Stephanie McMahon will induct Trish Stratus into the Hall of Fame at Trish's request.

They aired various fan Touts on Cena and Rock.

Main Event:The Bellas (w/Rhodes Scholars) defeated The Funkadactyls (w/Sweet T and Brodus Clay)

Undertaker made his way out, while they recapped Punk's comments from last week. Undertaker said Punk's historic title reign lasted over 400 days, but his pain at Mania will last an eternity. He said it was Punk that made this personal, and that now he would suffer as a result. Defeating him at Mania was no longer good enough, and his disrespect will cause him to the pay the ultimate price. Undertaker said that while Punk might be correct that, in his current state of mind, the Streak may end, Punk wouldn't be alive to talk about it. The Druids then made their way out, 2 of them clutching burning torches. It was apparent they were not out at the request of the Undertaker.

Over-run

"Oh Yes!" then came over the PA system, as a Paul Bearer impersonator appeared on the stage clutching the urn. It turned out to be none other than Paul Heyman. The Undertaker left the ring and made his way up the ramp, befor turning his attention to the Druids. He then took one out, as CM Punk - who was dressed as one - then attacked Undertaker from behind. After repeatedly nailing him with the Urn, he unscrewed the cap and poured what was supposedly Paul Bearer's ashes all over the Undertaker. Punk then scooped up the remnants before throwing it over himself to take RAW - and a stunned crowd - off the air.

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Location: Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jearsey
Attendance: 16,173
Commentary: Michael Cole, John Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

RAW opened with them recapping the previous night's events at WrestleMania. When they showed a photo of The Rock the crowd was heard booing, which only increased when they showed John Cena.

John Cena's music hit and he made his way out to a thunderous chorus of boos. Crowd was vehemently anti-Cena. Cena opened by saying it should be every superstar's dream to win at WrestleMania, and to expect cheers. He repeated himself each time, to increasingly louder boos. Cena said he might be going out on a limb but the crowd seems a little angry. He said he's upset too. Crowd broke out into a "BORING" chant. Cena began to do a dance. Crowd booed again. He then asked them if they'd like to see Cena do a "heel turn". Get it? Crowd cheered, before going into a "Same Old gooseberry fool" chant. Cena said he was going to defend the WWE Championship tonight. Mark Henry came out. Crowd chanted "Sexual Chocolate". Cena responded by saying it was a raucous crowd, and that they want to have sex with chocolate. After Henry mentioned beating Ryback last night, crowd then broke out into a "FEED ME MORE" chant. Cena claimed Henry had the "Breath of a thousand asses", before announcing to everyone that if Henry wants a fight then he would defend the WWE Championship tonight against him. SmackDown General Manager Booker T interrupted. Booker said that while he appreciates Cena being a fighting champ, he can't have John coming out and making matches. Booker T said The Rock was the Number 1 Contender. Crowd booed Rock out of the building. He announced due to an injury, Rock wouldn't be here tonight. Clearly not buying that for a moment, the crowd broke out into a loud "BULLSHIT" chant. However if Henry wanted to fight, then that's exactly what he'd get as he stated that should Mark Henry defeat John Cena tonight then he can face him at a later date for the WWE Championship. Crowd audibly deflated.

They announced Alberto Del Rio would take on Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger in a Handicap match tonight.

Big E Langston was shown talking with AJ Lee and Dolph Ziggler backstage, as they announced Langston would be in action for the first time on RAW next.

Match 1: Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee and Dolph Ziggler) defeated Daniel Bryan (w/Kane) after nailing Bryan with the Big Ending. On the way to the ring, Big E accidentally backhanded AJ Lee in the chest.

Josh Mathews interviewed Kurt Warner in the crowd, host of new reality show The Moment on the USA Network.

Match 2: In a rematch from the WrestleMania Pre-Show, and in front of a very pro-Barrett crowd, Wade Barrett (who didn't receive an entrance) recaptured the Intercontinental Championship against the Miz following the Bullhammer Elbow.

Vickie and Brad Maddox were both in their office when Sheamus walked in and demanded a match with Big Show. Maddox said if they give Sheamus the match then he owes them. Sheamus responded by saying he couldn't give a fiddlers. Vickie made the match.

Booker T was walking backstage when Randy Orton approached him. Randy Orton said he wanted a match with Big Show. Booker told Randy he couldn't as Vickie had already made Sheamus vs Big Show. Randy Orton said Booker was a proper GM and he could easily overrule her. Booker T agreed and made Randy Orton vs. Big Show for later.

Zeb Colter came out and claimed America was in bad shape, and after last night was now in even worse shape. Zeb asked the crowd for support. Crowd gave him the "What" treatment. He called Del Rio filthy. Incredibly, Zeb got the crowd to chant "USA, USA, USA".

They recapped Cena and Mark Henry from earlier.

Hour 2

Match 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) defeated Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger in a 2 on 1 Handicap match. Zeb Colter was never tagged in. After the match medical personnel entered the ring to check on Del Rio's injured ankle at the hands of Swagger's Patriot Lock. Dolph Ziggler's music then hit, to a ridiclously loud pop, and instructed the referee that he was cashing in his Money in the Bank contract.

Match 4: Dolph Ziggler defeated Alberto Del Rio to capture the World Heavyweight Championship to what will most likely be the biggest crowd reaction on any RAW of this year. To quote Gorilla Monsoon, the roof literally blew off.

Undertaker made his way out. Just as he was about to speak the crowd broke out into a loud "UN-DER-TAKER!" chant. He said he dedicated last night's match to the late Paul Bearer. The Shield's music hit the PA system and they made their way out through the crowd. As they surrounded the ring, Kane's pyro went off on the ring posts and Undertaker's brother and Daniel Bryan sprinted their way out to the ring. The Shield then backed off, before making their escape back through the crowd.

They re-aired Ziggler cashing in and winning the World Title from earlier.

Josh Mathews interviewed Dolph Ziggler backstage. Ziggler said he's been too damn good for too damn long. He said that this was his WrestleMania moment, and that it was about damn time.

Match 5: R-Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino beat 3MB when Santino nailed Heath Slater with the Cobra.

In an incredibly self indulgent video, they aired highlights of various WrestleMania activities from over the past week, set to the track "We are superstars".

Orton and Sheamus were arguing backstage about how Orton misjudged Big Show, and who should be the one to face him tonight. It concluded with Sheamus telling Orton he 'had this'.

They aired the Big Show interview from the WrestleMania Post-Show. Big Show said that all he wanted was the opportunity to get that tag, but instead Orton decided to take his thunder. Show said nobody is taking his thunder ever again. I guess he's fiercely protective of those WCW tapes...

Sheamus came out and asked the crowd if they wanted to see him kick Big Show's arse. Crowd mostly booed. Randy Orton interrupted and asked the crowd the same thing, this time to cheers. We then cut to the announce table as they revealed the choice would be up to the fans on Twitter to decide by # vote. Back from commercial break, it was revealed Orton had garnered 77% of the vote. Vickie and Booker T came out and said they both had legitamate reasons for facing Big Show, and after both conferring they'd decided it would be Orton vs Sheamus with the winner facing Show. Crowd, not remotely impressed, booed. People on Twitter presumably were left wondering what the point of their voting was.

Hour 3

Match 6: Sheamus vs. Orton ended in Disqualification when Big Show walked in and destroyed both men. During the match the crowd chanted for RVD, JBL, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, ECW, Randy Savage, HBK and performed a Mexican Wave, all to the complete and utter bemusement of the announcers. After the match was thrown out, Big Show KO'ed Orton in the ring, before dragging him to the outside and throwing him into the barricade, spearing him on the floor, and tossing him over the announce table. Big Show then threw two of the announcer office chairs into the ring post and ring ropes. Crowd then started chanting "We are awesome" and "One more chair". When Show failed to launch the last chair, the crowd booed.

They announced Triple H would be on SmackDown Friday.

They re-aired Undertaker being confronted by The Shield.

Match 7: Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston also ended in Disqualification when Chris Jericho ran in and dismantled Fandango. Jericho tossed Fandango around ringside, applied the Walls of Jericho and nailed him with the Code Breaker. As Justin Roberts was then announcing Fandango the winner, Fandango still found the energy to correctly say his name properly.

They aired a package highlighting Cena's multiple media appearances.

They showed Triple H having an X-Ray from last night's Post Show.

Josh Mathews was backstage interviewing Paul Heyman. Heyman said despite Lesnar getting knocked out within 3 minutes of the match, it still took Triple H a further 23 minutes to beat him. Heyman said Brock Lesnar is ready for a fight tonight, but unfortunately he doesn't let his clients fight for free. Paul then said CM Punk wasn't there tonight, and instead he'll tell us how he feels on next week's episode.

Match 8: The Funkadactyls, Sweet T and Brodus Clay defeated Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins. The crowd spent the majority of the match singing Fandango's entrance music.

They trailed The Moment on USA Network.

Over-run

Main Event: John Cena defeated Mark Henry when Mark Henry was thrown into the ring steps and Counted Out. After the match, Mark Henry got back up and ran right over Cena, and gave him the World's Strongest Slam. Ryback made his way out to the ring, and he and Henry then got into it, before Ryback dispatched Henry. Ryback grabbed Cena's hand to help him up, and both men looked at each other face-to-face. As Cena was celebrating with Ryback, Cena turned around and walked straight into a Clothesline from Ryback. He then picked him up and delivered Shellshock. Ryback held up the WWE Championship, as the crowd loudly chanted "FEED ME MORE" to take an incredibly memorable RAW off the air!

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Location: Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Match 1: Sheamus and Randy Orton defeated Big Show in a Handicap match when Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick and Randy Orton followed it up with an RKO for the pin.

They aired highlights of 3MB interrupting Triple H on SmackDown, followed by The Shield coming out and beating them up.

Josh Mathews interviewed 3MB backstage. Heath Slater said they were heading to the ring to call out The Shield next.

After the break, 3MB were all in the ring. Heath Slater claimed they were going to make an example of Triple H on SmackDown, but that "3 man cover band" came out and stole the spotlight. Drew McIntyre demanded a hand written apology. The crowd told them that they sucked. Brock Lesnar's music then hit and he made his way to the ring. Lesnar promptly destroyed all 3 men, planting an F5 on Drew and delivering a further 2 to Heath Slater onto the barricade. Paul Heyman then ran down and called Lesnar off. Heyman took the microphone and said that last week his client wanted a fight, and the fight he wants is with Triple H. Heyman said Triple H did something no other man has ever done in history, and that was knock out Lesnar at WrestleMania. He said that Triple H is one hell of a man, and that if he were here tonight on RAW he'd shake his hand because he's gained his respect. Crowd chanted for Triple H. Unfortunately Lesnar doesn't share the same opinion. They're now 1-for-1, and there can only be one dominant alpha male in the WWE. Therefore they're proposing a match for Extreme Rules. Heyman said it was time to get barbaric, in a match which is uncensored and ruthless. It's time to get extreme. The match Lesnar wants is a steel cage. "Challenge issued".

New joke character Antonio Cesaro came out and started yodelling.

Match 2: In another rematch from Friday's SmackDown, this time for the United States Championship, Kofi Kingston beat Antonio Cesaro with Trouble in Paradise to capture the United States Championship.

After the match, Kofi told Josh Mathews that he'd just brought the US Championship back home.

They re-aired the entirety of Dolph Ziggler cashing in and winning the World Title from Alberto Del Rio on last week's RAW.

World Heavyweight Champion Dolph Ziggler, girlfriend AJ Lee and bodyguard Big E Langston made their way out to the ring.

Hour 2

Ziggler proclaimed that last week was the single greatest moment in the history of RAW, and it was so all because of him. Part of the crowd attempted to give him the "What?" treatment. Dolph said that there's never been someone as charismatic, or as flamboyant, and that he does it better than everyone else. He said he doesn't care if the crowd boos him, as showing off is what you do when you're better than everyone else. He said perks come with the job, before turning to AJ and kissing her. Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo, who was still on crutches, interrupted. Del Rio said that last week he congratulated him and that when the time was right he was going to invoke his rematch clause. And that time was right now. As Ziggler responded by saying that Del Rio needs to be 100% to hang with him in the ring, Vickie Guerrero interrupted. Vickie demanded that they get a ref out there as the match was indeed happening right now. Before the match could get started however, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger came out. Zeb said Ziggler wouldn't even be champ without Jack Swagger, and the only reason Dolph won was because Jack tore him to pieces. Swagger and Del Rio got into it, before Del Rio clotheslined Swagger back out of the ring. Swagger then grabbed Del Rio from the outside and wrapped his leg around the ring post. On the outside, Swagger applied the Patriot Act ankle lock as various referees did their best to get him to break the hold.

Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo were in the trainers room.

They announced The Shield would take on Team Hell No and the Undertaker next week on RAW from London.

Match 3: In a match we've seen at least 500 times already, Team Hell No defeated the Prime Time Players after Daniel Bryan nailed Darren Young with a diving headbutt off the top rope for the pinfall victory.

Ryback cut a pre-taped promo. He said WrestleMania 29 was the highlight of John Cena's career but the worst of his. While Cena was back on top, Ryback was back at the bottom. He said there's only one place to go; Cena down, and for himself to go back up. Ryback said he wasn't going to start at the bottom all over again. Ryback called Cena a lousy friend, and said a friendship with John Cena means nothing more than living in Cena's shadow. Ryback asked when The Shield were attacking him where was Cena to help, and that he was probably off designing his latest T-Shirt. Ryback said Cena will to admit that he is the biggest threat to Cena's title, and that "Ryback rules".

They recapped Brock Lesnar destroying 3MB and challenging Triple H.

They announced a #1 Contenders Battle Royal for the Intercontinental Championship on Main Event.

Match 4: In a non-title match, R-Truth pinned Wade Barrett with a move.

Vickie and Brad Maddox were in their office discussing Del Rio's condition when Teddy Long walked in. As Del Rio can't compete tonight, Long said Jack Swagger would go one-on-one with Dolph Ziggler. Long said he's already given Swagger some "extra incentive" and he was fine with it. Vickie asked if Booker T knew about this, and Teddy responded by saying he didn't know. Vickie and Teddy told Brad to go tell someone about it.

WWEcommunity.com has launched.

Rhodes Scholars cut a promo. They said "like a famed philosopher once said, we are but dwarves on the shoulders of giants". Rhodes said they believe in decency for all. Sandow followed up by saying even in a den of ignorance like south Carolina.

Match 5: Rhodes Scholars beat Santino and Great Khali when Sandow rolled up Santino.

They aired a trailer for rotten looking game Rockpocalypse on GooglePlay and iPhone. On the plus side, it is free.

Jerry Lawler was in the ring and introduced a video of various people and celebrities "Fandangoing", before introducing the man himself. Crowd, and you surely saw this one coming, weren't even remotely as into it as last week. Fandango asked him how Lawler's hips were feeling, and he told him to move his hips. Lawler replied by saying he was going to move his hips back over to the announce table.

Hour 3

Fandango asked the fans if they wanted to go Fandangoing. There was a loud air horn in the crowd. He asked each side of the crowd. Only about 20% of the people seemed interested. Fandango told the crowd that before they could do that they needed to pronounce his name correctly. He said as they were incapable of doing so they could all go Fandango themselves.

Matt Striker interviewed John Cena backstage. Cena said apparently Ryback has a problem with him, but he isn't hard to find. Cena said he'd be out in the ring later, so Ryback can come find him face-to-face.

Match 6: In a non-title bout, Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) pinned Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee and Big E Langston) with a roll-up.

After the match, Del Rio nailed Swagger from behind on the ramp, threw him into the WWE Sign and kicked him off the stage. Alberto Del Rio then applied the Cross Arm Breaker as Swagger hung off the side of the stage. WWE referees ran down and pulled him off. Del Rio pointed at Dolph Ziggler in the ring.

Matt Striker was about to interview Sheamus backstage when Mark Henry appeared and Speared him through the set.

Paul Heyman and CM Punk both made their way out. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". Punk said that for 434 days he was the WWE Champion he couldn't enjoy the ride because he was always looking around the corner at what was next. He said the championship meant the world to him, but he wanted the next challenge, and that he found it with The Rock, arguably the greatest of all time. Yet he still wanted more, because he's never satisfied. He always wants more. Punk said that after battling the most "electrifying man in sports entertainment" where do you go? He said he looked at the one thing bigger than The Rock, and that was Undertaker's Streak at WrestleMania. Punk claimed that he pushed 'Taker to the very limit. A few in the crowd chanted "respect", before breaking out into a loud duelling "Undertaker/CM Punk" chant. Punk then turned around, hugged Heyman, and walked out of the building, leaving Heyman shocked in the ring.

Booker T was telling Teddy Long backstage that he was overstepping his bounds. Long said Swagger is the next number one contender for the World Title. Booker disagreed and announced Swagger, Del Rio and Ziggler will face each other at Extreme Rules in a Triple Threat match. Booker then reprimanded Teddy by saying that he needs to handle his business. Booker then stormed off.

Main Event: In a non-title match, Nikki Bella beat Kaitlyn when Brie pinned Kaitlyn. The commentators spent most of the match laughing at the expense of Nikki's new "larger" breasts.

They recapped the closing moments of the Handicap match from earlier, and then Mark Henry spearing Sheamus.

They announced Sheamus and Orton will team up to face Big Show and Mark Henry this Friday on SmackDown.

John Cena made his way out to the ring, mouthing the lyrics to his theme music. Cena demanded "the Ryback" get out to the ring as well and face him. Ryback immediately obliged. Crowd chanted "Feed Me More". In a WCW moment, The Shield were accidentally shown getting ready in a hallway. Announcers didn't mention it. A few in the crowd chanted "boring". Cena said Ryback made us sit through his highlight promo earlier and quite frankly it was boring. Cena said he understood why he did what he did last week, he just didn't like how he did it. Cena said Ryback lacks the two most important things it takes to be champion: "the space between your ears and a piece between your legs".

Over-run

Finally Jerry Lawler asked if the other two had seen what he had earlier, and Cole responded yes, clearly attempting to cover for the mistake with the camera. Cena said rather than hold onto the title like Ryback did last week, this week how about he make a move and see if he has what it takes to earn a championship. Ryback turned around and left. The Shield's music then hit and they made their way through the crowd and slowly into the ring. Ryback watched from the aisle as The Shield decimated Cena, and gave him the Triple Power Bomb. Crowd chanted "One More Time", as The Shield stood tall over Cena and Ryback turned around & headed to the back to take RAW off the air!

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Location: The O2, London England
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler

In quick results...

RAW from London opened with Paul Heyman coming out and cutting a promo claiming he had received a message from Triple H saying he wasn’t going to be on the show tonight. Triple H then came out, accepted and killed Heyman with a Pedigree.

Match 1: R-Truth pinned Antonio Cesaro.

Match 2: Damien Sandow (w/Cody Rhodes) pinned Brodus Clay (w/Tensai)

Match 3: World Champion Dolph Ziggler pinned Chris Jericho with the Zig Zag, with the stipulation being that if Jericho won, he would join the World title bout at Extreme Rules, making it into a Triple Threat. Fandango's music hit to distract Jericho, setting up the finish.

Match 4: Tensai pinned Cody Rhodes.

Ryback cut a backstage promo saying the fans don't understand him. He knocked John Cena and said he would see Mick Foley in the ring later tonight.

Match 5: Big E. Langston defeated Zack Ryder.

Kane and Daniel Bryan were backstage, where Bryan was trying to explain something with a chart. Kane told Bryan not to show Undertaker, and that Undertaker didn’t carry a phone.

Match 6: The Shield defeated The Undertaker & Team Hell No in a really good, long match. Finish saw Bryan going for the Flying Headbutt but Ambrose moved and got the pinfall.

WWE aired The Rock's tweets on screen about having surgery.

Backstage, Mick Foley and John Cena discussed Ryback calling Foley out.

Match 7: Fandango defeated William Regal in a quick match. Afterwards Jericho ran in and attacked Fandango. Lots of crowd involvement.

After the match, Chris Jericho comes out and attacked Fandango. Jericho threw him off the stage and danced with Fandango’s dancer to end it.

WWE Divas champion Kaitlyn came out for commentary.

Main Event: There will be a Divas battle royal with the winner being crowned the new #1 contender for the Championship. The participants were Tamina Snuka, AJ Lee, Cameron, Naomi, Layla and The Bella Twins. AJ got the win.

Mick Foley came out with a steel chair. Foley was in good spirits and says he didn't come out here for a confrontation. Ryback comes out. They have words and Foley names off things he's done throughout his career. Foley says he won't back down from a fight. Ryback tells him to shut up. Ryback declares he will defeat "Super Cena" at Extreme Rules and become the next WWE Champion. Ryback calls Foley a "Fat pathetic lazy bastard". Cena then came out. The Shield promptly follow and its 4-on-1 for Cena. Cena backs away and begins his exit. The Shield turn and surround Ryback. Cena came back with a steel chair and chased off The Shield. Cena hit an Attitude Adjustment on Ryback to close out RAW.

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Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 14,282
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Everyone's favourite early morning show that isn't Babestation opened with Ricardo and Alberto Del Rio coming out to the ring.

Match 1: In a Triple Threat encounter, with the winner deciding the stipulation for the 3-way World Title match at Extreme Rules, Ricardo (w/Alberto Del Rio) defeated Zeb Colter (w/Jack Swagger) and Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee and Zolph Ziggler) when Ricardo rolled up Zeb Colter off a distraction by AJ Lee, who had entered the ring to break up a pinfall attempt.

Here on World Wish Day, they aired a touching video package of John Cena granting a wish to an 8 year old boy.

John Cena came out to the stage with 3 kids. He said it was their wishes, here on World Wish Day, to spend the day at RAW. He said WWE were making them honorary Superstars for the day. Each kid chose their 'Superstar names'.

Randy Orton was shown making his way towards the ring.

Match 2: In a long match, Randy Orton pinned Cody Rhodes following an RKO in mid-air off a Disaster Kick by Rhodes. The commentators spent a large portion of the match amusing themselves over JBL's continued use of dated references, and made comment of Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire.

Afterwards Matt Striker interviewed Randy Orton in the ring. Cody Rhodes attempted a sneak attack from behind but was hit with another RKO.

In a horribly acted segment, The Bellas were shown warming up backstage.

They aired a video package promoting WWE's new 'reality' show, Total Divas, on E!

Match 3: Brie Bella (w/Nikki) defeated Naomi (w/Cameron) when Nikki pinned Naomi. After the match, Cameron complained to the referee that the twins had switched, which resulted in the referee changing the decision to a Disqualification and awarding the victory to Naomi. The Bellas then ran back in and brawled with The Funkadactyls, gaining the upper hand.

Hour 2

The Shield came out through the crowd. They said they'd dealt out justice to Ryback, The Rock, Sheamus, John Cena and now Undertaker. They recapped highlights of their attack on the Undertaker from SmackDown. 3MB interrupted, angry that The Shield had ruined their chance of beating up Triple H on SmackDown. 3MB were promptly delt with, when Kane's pyro went off on the stage and Team Hell No made their way to the ring. The Shield made their escape, leaving 3MB to be finished off by being tossed over the top rope and Chokeslammed.

John Cena was backstage getting his lower leg and foot taped up when Ryback walked in. Ryback said he could tape up all he wanted but it wouldn't matter. John Cena said he isn't injured, just hurt, and that he's probably more effective on one leg than Ryback is on two. Ryback said he couldn't take that chance and walked off.

At the announce table, Jerry Lawler ordered a Domino's pizza, and was shown tracking it using the online pizza tracker. Lets see if this one actually turns up...

They announced Antonio Cesaro will face Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship on Main Event.

Match 4: World Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee and Big E) pinned Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston with the ZigZag in a non-title bout. After the match, Ziggler ordered Big Tits Langston to inflict further damage on Kofi, nailing two Big Endings.

As Zolph was heading back up the ramp, the name plate on the World Title was hanging off.

Did You Know? WWE has over 100,000,000 Facebook fans. That's one of the more ridiculous claims in quite some time...

Zolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E bumped into Kaitlyn and Natalya backstage. After a bit of back and forth, a stage hand gave AJ Lee a gift, which turned out to be for Kaityln. It was a baseball hat with gold spikes on it. There was also a note from a mystery individual expressing their love - i.e. she's got a secret admirer.

They recapped the Triple H/Brock Lesnar feud from over the past two weeks.

Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox were in their office when Ryback walked in. He said John Cena had left him to face The Shield alone for the last time. Vickie agreed and said Ryback wasn't going to be left in a Handicap match, therefore he would instead team with Kane and Bryan to face The Shield. Ryback said he'd been there done that, and didn't trust either of those guys. Ryback shouted NO! and walked off. Brad asked Vickie what he meant by No.

The commentators were checking on the progress of the pizza. The tracker said it had been delivered...to the front row of the crowd. Various people were shown eating the Pizza Hut deep pan knock off, much to the anger of the 3.

Monumental dork Zack Ryder came out and said for anyone who missed Zeb Colter getting pinned earlier, here it was again.

Match 5: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) tapped out Zack Ryder with the Patriot Lock. After the match, Zeb punched Zack in the face.

Mark Henry was shown heading towards the ring carrying a rope.

On WWE Active, Ryback was shown apparently leaving the building.

Mark Henry was in the ring. He said he was going to prove he's the Strongest Man. He said Vickie had given him two opponents to face tonight. Sweet T came out. Jerry Lawler asked if this was going to be a Handicap match. A few in the crowd chanted "Albert". There was a rope and red line in the middle of the ring. Lawler's clearly half asleep.

TUG OF WAR 1: Mark Henry tugged off Sweet T.

TUG OF WAR 2: Mark Henry beat Brodus Clay.

Hour 3

Sheamus came out and congratulated Henry. He said he knows he wanted two competitors, but how about one more. Henry declined. Sheamus asked Henry if he was afraid, at which point Henry demanded Sheamus get to the ring.

TUG OF WAR 3: Ended in a No Contest when Sheamus let go of the rope, sending Mark Henry flying backwards. He then nailed him with the Brogue Kick.

They re-aired John Cena granting the 3 wishes to the 3 kids from earlier.

Team Hell No were in Brad and Vickie's office. Kane told Brad to shut up. Kane said they were just as well off without Ryback, and that it was back to being a Handicap match. Vickie said if that's what they wanted, then they've got it. As they then left, Vickie told Brad there was one more thing she wanted him to do, before whispering something in his ear.

They aired Rock's Tweet from last week saying his surgery was a success. They also congratulated Rock on Pain and Gain being number 1 at the box office.

Brad Maddox walked in to Cena's locker room. Cena first called him Brandon Walker, and then Bad Mattress. Cena told Brad to go tell Vickie he will be in the 6 man main event tonight. Brad said he was hurt too bad. Cena said Brad would be the one hurt if he didn't go and tell Vickie he was going to be in the match.

Ricardo came out and introduced Del Rio.

Match 6: In another long match, Alberto Del Rio defeated Antonio Cesaro with the Arm Breaker. Crowd chanted "Olé! Olé! Olé!" during and after the match.

Alberto Del Rio announced that the World Title Triple Threat at Extreme Rules would be a ladder match. Well that's saved the PPV from being a pile of arse.

DANCE OFF CHALLENGE: Fandango and Summer Rae (Danielle Moinet) danced. Large majority of the crowd Fandagoed. Great Khali and Natalya danced. Jerry Lawler asked the crowd who they thought was better. Crowd cheered for Khali (who was absolutely useless, naturally). As Khali was celebrating, Fandango clipped his knee from behind and hit his leg drop off the top.

They again re-aired the beat down on 'Taker from SmackDown.

John Cena, wearing the worst T-Shirt in the history of the company, came out. Team Hell No followed.

They announced Dean Ambrose will face Kane on SmackDown.

The Shield made their way out through the crowd.

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Main Event: The Shield defeated Team Hell No and John Cena. Finish saw John Cena go for the Attitude Adjustment but his leg give out, which led to Roman Reigns hitting him with the Spear for the pin.

After the match, Ryback - who was dressed like Bill Goldberg - came out onto the stage and looked on at John Cena, who was being tended to by a trainer.

This show felt loooooooooong.

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Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

John Cena came out to open the show. Cena did some 'comedy'. Vickie Guererro interrupted with "excuse me". As the managing supervisor she said she was so excited that he was going to be at Extreme Rules. Crowd booed her out of the building. She introduced Ryback to the ring. Vickie asked Cena and Ryback what stipulations they'd like for their match. Cena instead opted to mock Ryback, joking about having a "Vickie Guerrero's granny panties on a poll match". I'm sure Russo thought it was a great idea. Ryback said it was extremely stupid of Cena to forgo his choice, before opting for a Last Man Standing match.

Damien Sandow sang a hilarious song replacing the lyrics of Orton's theme music, basically saying he was boring.

Match 1: Randy Orton pinned Damien Sandow following an RKO.

As the commentators were recapping the match, Big Show punched out Randy Orton off camera on the stage. After showing a replay, referees came out to Orton's aid.

Fandango and his partner (not Summer Rae) were shown dancing backstage.

Chris Jericho's pyro went off and he made his way out, as they recapped his on-going feud with Fandango. He said he'd set up a judging panel to critique Fandango's performance tonight. He introduced Sweet T and Brodus Clay. They had a table set up at ringside.

About 10 people were Fandangoing in the crowd. This thing's dead.

The judging table held up two 2's and a 1. Fandango asked who they were to judge him. He said just because Jericho was on Dancing on the Stars and failed doesn't make him an expert.

Match 2: R-Truth defeated Fandango via Count-Out when Fandango simply walked out on the match, after the judging table awarded three 10's for R-Truth's dancing.

They aired WWE employee's photos and tweets of Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar turning up at Titan Towers and storming into Triple H's office.

Josh Mathews interviewed Daniel Bryan. Bryan said it'll take more than a Shield ambush to keep him down, which is why he's challenging Ryback to a rematch from SmackDown tonight. Ryback confronted him and told him "No" because he wasn't physically ready. Kane then walked up to Ryback. Ryback said there was only one monster in WWE, and that was him.

Alberto Del Rio made his way out with Ricardo.

The commentators announced that Vickie had made Ryback vs. Kane for later.

Hour 2

Match 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee and Big E Langston) in a non title match ended in Disqualification when the referee saw Big E Langston dragging Del Rio out of the ring. Langston then intentionally threw him into Swagger, which led to Swagger going mental. Swagger then obliterated everyone with brutal looking ladder shots.

During the match, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger came out, had a stare-down with Big E on the outside, before Zeb inserted himself on commentary.

They re-aired the opening segment with Ryback and Cena.

Kaitlyn was backstage with The Funkadactyls. She was discussing a text message she'd received from her mystery admirer. Khali turned up and Natalya convinced him to go undercover in the mens locker room. JBL burst out laughing.

The Bellas were shown backstage laughing.

They aired a video promoting their new deal with Yahoo.

Match 4: The Shield beat The Usos and Kofi Kingston when Ambrose pinned Kingston.

They continued to air employee tweets of Lesnar and Heyman at the WWE Headquarters.

They announced Randy Orton will face Antonio Cesaro on Main Event.

They showed Cesaro attacking Kingston backstage on Main Event last Wednesday.

Match 5: Antonio Cesaro pinned Zack Ryder with the Neutraliser.

Cesaro cut a promo. He asked whether Ryder was all the competition the WWE had for him. He said there was nobody in the whole company that can hold a candle to him, before throwing the microphone down.

A stage hand was shown putting a microphone on Paul Heyman, who was up next via satellite.

After the break, Paul Heyman was on the Tron from an undisclosed location. He said earlier today they took "a tour" of the WWE HQ. Instead of flapping his gums, he wanted to just air the footage he shot oh his phone. They aired Lesnar and Heyman walking in, up the lift - where Paul started whistling the Fandango theme tune - and through to Triple H's office (which looked more like a room with a false partition in). Along the way they stopped to look at a poster of The Rock on the wall. Lesnar then totally destroyed everything in it, and managed to break a sledgehammer in the process.

Hour 3

Back with Heyman Live, he said he happens to know something about "Extreme". He said when Brock tries to hurt someone, it's always him that pleads with Lesnar, and it's always him that has to discourage him. Then Triple H decided to predigree him, therefore he's not going to discourage Lesnar any more, rather he was going to beg him to hurt HHH inside the cage. Paul had a destroyed replica of the World title over his shoulder. Heyman claimed Lesnar would go "Further, and further and further...". Triple H's music then hit in the building and he made his way out. Triple H joked Heyman's hair was a mess. He asked Heyman if he ever opens his mouth without crap falling out of it. HHH said he knew something about being Extreme as he launched DX, & ran through the Attitude era. He said he has two offices: the one he tore up and the one he's currently standing in; the 2nd office was more like his home, and where he became a man, something Lesnar never became. He said if Lesnar wants to say something, he should say it to his face. He said in this office, he fights back.

Match 6: Kaitlyn and the Funkadactyls defeated the Bellas and AJ Lee when Kaitlyn pinned AJ Lee. Dead crowd.

Mark Henry made his way out to the ring. He said in a few minutes Sheamus will be out acting all tough and doing all his posing. He said that's where the problem is: Sheamus acts tough, whereas he is tough. Crowd chanted "What?" He repeated "When Sheamus", to ever louder "What?" chants. He called the fans nothing but puppets. They re-aired the arm wrestling contest from SmackDown. He said if Sheamus had any guts he'd face him in a match at Extreme Rules. The "What?" chants appeared to take him off his stride. Sheamus came out. Mark Henry said instead of waiting for Extreme Rules, how about they go tonight. As they were both about to get into it, Wade Barrett's music hit. Michael Cole questioned on commentary whether Henry knew Wade was scheduled to come out.

After the break, Mark Henry was on commentary.

Match 7: Sheamus pinned Wade Barrett in a non title match following a Brogue Kick. During the match, Sheamus levelled Henry with a Brogue Kick on the outside.

After the match, Mark Henry went at Sheamus with a belt he'd stolen off one of the WWE trainers.

They announced Fandango will face Jericho next week on RAW in a dance-off.

They re-aired highlights of Paul Heyman and Lesnar destroying Triple H's office.

They announced Ryback will be on Jericho's Hightlight Reel Talk Show on SmackDown.

Over-run

Main Event: Ryback pinned Kane in a thoroughly boring match off Shellshocked.

After the match, The Shield came out through the crowd, which led to Ryback bailing to the outside. Daniel Bryan ran down, followed by John Cena. As they began dispatching The Shield, Ryback entered the ring with a steel chair. Cena got Roman Reigns up for the FU, but Ryback nailed Cena in the gut with the chair, and then waffled him in the back. Show went off the air with Ryback standing tall over Cena and shouting "Ryback Rules".

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Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, OK
Attendance: Half empty.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John “Bradshaw” Layfield and Jerry Lawler.

Hour 1

DANCE OFF: Night’s entertainment got going with Jerry Lawler in the ring. Fandango, with Summer Rae made their way out for the Dance Off with Chris Jericho. They had parkay flooring in the ring. JBL lost no time in mentioning Wigan upsetting Man City on Saturday. Chris Jericho came out with Edyta Sliwinska from Dancing with the Stars. Long segment that went over a quarter of an hour. Lawler said a coin toss earlier had decided that Fandango would dance first. The quirky music hit and Fandango and Summer Rae got into their stances and prepared to dance. After standing there for what seemed like forever, Fandango took the microphone and demanded the crowd be quiet as he was "trying to create a masterpiece out here." They then played the music again and after another initial pause, Fandango and Summer Rae started dancing. After a few seconds, Summer Rae went down, apparently having twisted her ankle. Fandango began berating her in the corner. Sliwinska and a WWE Trainer checked on her in the corner. With Jericho also distracted, Fandango nailed him from behind, tossed him to the outside, threw him into the ring steps and threw him into the announce table. Fandango picked up a piece of the flooring in the ring and bashed Jericho with it, leaving him laying. Fandango got back in the ring, and looked at Summer Rae...who then smiled and jumped back up to her feet, revealing the whole injury to be a ruse.

The announced Team Hell No and John Cena would face The Shield in a 6 man tag team elimination match later tonight.

Ryback was shown heading towards the ring.

Match 1: Ryback defeated Zack Ryder with Shellshocked in a total squash.

The commentators implored us to download the WWE app, as Del Rio was being interviewed backstage. They showed part of the interview on screen, with the audio. Just in case this match wasn't worthless enough as it is.

They re-aired highlights of the April 30th 2012 edition of RAW when Lesnar broke Triple H's arm.

They said Triple H and Brock Lesnar would come face-to-face later tonight.

Match 2:The Prime Time Players defeated Sweet T and Brodus Clay in a nothing match that went about 2 minutes. In a TNA moment, the cameras missed the finish. It was revealed in a replay that Darren Young had hit Brodus with his hair comb and Titus O'Neil rolled him up for the victory.

It was announced Teddy Long would make an announcement concerning the World Heavyweight Championship next.

Matt Striker was on the stage and introduced Teddy Long. Striker said that with WWE.com reporting Dolph Ziggler is not cleared to defend the championship at Extreme Rules, what Teddy was going to do about it. Teddy said Vickie Guerrero had given him the power to decide on what to do. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter came out. Zeb, stumbling over his words, said Ziggler should be stripped of the title. AJ Lee and Big E Langston interrupted, and said Jack Swagger shouldn't be awarded but fired, as he was the one who injured Dolph in the first place. Teddy told all of them to quiet down. He said Dolph will not be stripped of the title, rather at Extreme Rules Swagger and Del Rio will now wrestle in a Number 1 Contenders I Quit match. Crowd booed. Teddy then announced Big E would take on either Del Rio or Jack Swagger tonight, with the WWE Universe deciding exclusively on the WWE app. Crowd were not even remotely impressed at this.

They announced Kofi Kingston will defend the title against Dean Ambrose on PPV.

Damien Sandow came out. He said that contrary to popular demand he would not be singing tonight, and proclaimed that much like Kofi's championship reign, the song was already foolish. Sandow closed by saying Kofi's reign would soon be coming to an end.

Match 3: United States Champion Kofi Kingston pinned Damien Sandow with Trouble in Paradise in the 3rd successive quick match of the night.

There's a "I watch wrestling because I'm single" sign in the crowd.

Mark Henry was in the ring with a strap.

The showed highlights of Eddie Guererro and JBL's strap match from the Great American Bash in June 2004 and last Monday's RAW with Henry beating Sheamus with a strap.

Hour 2

Josh Mathews was in the ring interviewing Mark Henry. Henry said that if we thought the whipping of Sheamus was something then wait until Extreme Rules. They then showed Henry pulling the tractor trailers from SmackDown. Mathews asked how he was going to beat Sheamus. Henry said he was going to go one better than that and show him. Mathews reluctantly put the strap on his wrist. Henry waffled Josh and then proceeded to drag him around the ring slapping each turnbuckle cover. He then took the strap off Josh and allowed him to run out of the ring "like a rat". Henry asked why wait until ER; how about Sheamus come out right now and let him finish what he started last week. Sheamus' music hit and he made his way to the stage. Sheamus mocked that Henry may be the strongest but he's not the brightest. Henry said he was doing a lot of talking but not a lot of walking. Sheamus said Henry sure was a brave man with a strap. Henry responded by calling him a coward. Sheamus said he'd just talked him into it. As Sheamus was about to get in the ring, he remembered that'd he'd got a present he'd put under the ring earlier today: another strap. Sheamus and Henry went at it in the ring, leading to Henry bailing on the outside, leaving Sheamus standing tall.

They re-aired highlights of Brock Lesnar F5'ing McMahon from January.

A trailer for 12 Rounds II with Randy Orton aired. Phone Booth, Die Hard, Speed...you know the score by now.

Match 4: In the patented MATCH WE'VE SEEN AT LEAST 900 TIMES part of the show, Randy Orton pinned Antonio Cesaro off an RKO.

I ate a Wagon Wheel.

They announced The Miz will take on Cody Rhodes on the Extreme Rules pre-show.

Match 5: The Miz beat Health Slater (w/3MB) with the Figure Four.

Jerry Lawler said that he used to be in a cover band called The Quilts.

In a new annoyance to accompany the Twitter ticker, they've been airing partial WWE App interviews in the bottom right of the screen during the matches. Lawler said you could watch RAW on one eye and the App on another. Someone muttered what if you were Cyclops, which led to a prolonged period of silence and snorting as the commentators absolutely pissed themselves laughing. They're now regularly amusing themselves rather than calling the matches. And who can blame them...

More Lesnar/Triple H recapping.

DOWNLOAD THE APP. VOTE ON THE APP. WATCH THE APP. THE APP.

Team Hell No will defend the WWE Tag Team Championship against The Shield in a Tag Team Tornado match at Extreme Rules.

Kane vs. Seth Rollins for WWE Main Event.

Match 6: Team Hell No and John Cena vs. The Shield.

  • Kane was eliminated first after kicking too much ass. The referee finally had enough when he hit Ambrose with the announce table cover.

Hour 3

  • Daniel Bryan was eliminated by Ambrose.
  • John Cena pinned Rollins with the Attitude Adjustment.
  • Roman Reigns was eliminated after shoving the referee and Spearing Cena.
  • John Cena defeated Ambrose via Disqualification when the other Shield members ran in and attacked Cena.

After the match, The Shield gave Cena the Triple Powerbomb. The Shield left through the crowd. With Cena down, Ryback made his way out, stood over Cena, and then appeared to leave, before changing his mind, taking a chair from under the ring and battering Cena in the ankle with it.

Matt Striker interviewed Ryback backstage. Ryback said he had played by their rules and tried to do things the right way and it got him absolutely nowhere. Time and time again he tried to do the right thing and ended up getting screwed out of the championship. He said everyone on Sunday is going to find out that "Ryback rules".

65% of the fans on the WWE App had voted for Big E to face Jack Swagger.

Match 7: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) beat Big Titties (w/AJ Lee) via Count-Out in front of a dead crowd. Langston had his arse hanging out during the match.

After the match, Alberto Del Rio ran down and attempted to attack Swagger, but was promtly put in the Ankle Lock like a massive twat. Ricardo then nailed Swagger with his metal tin pot. Swagger booted Ricardo in the face. With Swagger distracted, Del Rio put him in the arm breaker, but that was broken up by Big E. All men had a hopeless brawl, finally ending with Del Rio standing tall in the centre of the ring. Crowd booed.

The Bellas and Kaityln were on commentary, for a 6 person clusterfuck. Kaitlyn received a Simpson's Triva cube or something from her admirer.

Main Event: AJ Lee defeated Natalya with the Black Widow submission. Match was terrible, commentary was even worse. At one point I thought AJ Lee was dead in the ring.

They aired highlights of Brock and Paul Heyman in Stamford last week.

They re-aired highlights of the Dance Off

Matt Striker interviewed Chris Jericho backstage. Striker asked him if he felt foolish. Jericho said it was his own fault as he was trying to play by other people's rules. Jericho said that there was going to be no more joking around. He's done it all, and beat them all, and on Sunday he's going to teach Fandango on how to dance Chris Jericho style.

Triple H's music hit for what is inevitably going to be a 14 hour segment. The cage began to lower as we headed to the final commercial break.

Triple said he and Brock Lesnar have been at war for a year and nothing has been settled. Until that is this Sunday, when it all finally gets settled. Hunter said he has learnt to thrive on hate. Triple H demanded Lesnar get down to the ring and try and take 'his home' from him. Heyman came out with Lesnar. As soon as Heyman started talking HHH told him to shut it and for Lesnar just to get in the ring. This didn't stop Heyman from speaking however, much to the crowd's chagrin, who clearly were not interested in chat. Heyman questioned if "hate" was on the WWE banned words list. Heyman said his client Brock Lesnar was going to teach him the true meaning of the word hate. Lesnar is a carnivore and HHH is the "biggest slab of meat in the WWE universe". Heyman proclaimed HHH was going to hate facing his family when Brock leaves him battered in the cage.

Over-run

Triple H is going to have to face going down in history as the loser, and he can't imagine how much he's going to "hate" that. He said he's ready for a fight, but he's going to have to wait till Sunday as Lesnar doesn't fight for free. Triple H questioned why Lesnar won't just face him like a man, and the truth is it's got nothing to do with Lesnar but rather Heyman can't afford for him to face him, as HHH did the unthinkable in his eyes and knocked Lesnar out cold, and beat him. Heyman knows if he walks down right now and steps in the cage then he's going to kick his ass one more time and that doesn't bode too well for Heyman as a business man. Hunter said that if he beats Lesnar again, then the sounds he hears at that moment won't just be the cheers of the crowd but Lesnar's "mystique" flying out the window. He said Heyman no longer believes in Lesnar. Hunter asked whether Lesnar was going to prove he's a beast or continue standing on the stage and prove he's just a bitch. Lesnar proceeded to make his way down to the cage, as referees and Heyman tried to convince him otherwise.

Lesnar finally entered the cage and both men got into it. Triple H quickly got the upper hand, threw Lesnar into the steel and then into the door, sending Paul Heyman and numerous referees flying on the outside. Triple H told Lesnar to get back in the cage. After staring each other down, Lesnar picked up Heyman and headed back up the ramp. Show went off the air with Triple H standing tall and Heyman crying and mouthing that he 'hates him'.

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Location: Sprint Center; Kansas City, MO
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

24 hours removed from WWE Extreme Rules, RAW kicked off with an ambulance making its way into the arena with its sirens blaring. Ryback stepped out the back as they aired photos on the Tron of their Extreme Rules match. Back in the building, Ryback had made his way to the roof of the ambulance. He said last night the decision was that there was no decision. The record books state that there was no real winner. He said that while Cena walked away with the WWE Championship, he didn't walk away, he was carried away. They then aired footage from the Extreme Rules Post Show of Cena being stretchered out and refusing to be taken to the hospital. Ryback said at WWE Payback next month John Cena wouldn't be able to refuse medical assistance, nor would it matter if he couldn't stand or had a beating heart, as he was challenging him to an Ambulance match. Ryback said he's going to send Cena to the medical facility, just like the rest of the crowd. He then went on a tirade stating none of the crowd knew anything about nutrition or education, and that everyone in the crowd were "weak, weak, weak, weak, weak..." and pathetic, and that they'd skip the hospital and just end up going straight to the morgue.

They announced that Heyman would reveal who his newest client of "Heyman Enterprises" is later tonight.

They aired a load of fans drinking Sonic milkshakes. Some interesting flavours, that's for sure...

Wade Barrett will take on Sin Cara Wednesday night on Main Event.

Wade Barrett's got new theme music.

Match 1: The Miz and Chris Jericho defeated Wade Barrett & Fandango (w/Summer Rae). Jericho somehow got busted open. Finish saw Fandango start dancing on the outside with Summer Rae, leaving Barrett to get wasted by Jericho in the ring with the Lionsault and Codebreaker. Jericho then tagged in Miz who applied the Figure Four for the submission. After the match, Jericho and Miz confronted Fandango on the outside, which led Fandango to scarper through the crowd, accidentally knocking down a fat fan in the process. Jericho then danced with Summer Rae, before blowing her off.

During the match, Josh Mathews was shown interviewing Road Dogg and Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Cos who cares about the match in the ring, right?

Vickie Guerrero came out and announced that Jack Swagger will wrestle tonight against an opponent chosen by fans of the WWE App. Choices being Great Khali, R-Truth and Randy Orton. Begging the question...what's the strawberry floating point?

Daniel Bryan was in his locker room when Kane walked in. Kane asked him if he was ready for later tonight. Bryan said that it's finally hit him: he's not the tag team champions; Kane isn't the tag team champions; They're both not the tag team champions. Kane told him to stop being so negative. Bryan responded by saying Kane was the one going around telling everyone to "embrace the hate". He said he felt naked without the title. Kane asked whether that had anything to do with him not wearing any pants or a shirt. Bryan didn't see the funny side. Kane said they had a rematch with The Shield and they can't show weakness, as that's what they prey on. Bryan took this to mean that Kane was implying he was the weak link. They both started arguing, as Kofi Kingston came in and broke them up. Bryan stormed off.

They showed a disheartened Mark Henry on the Extreme Rules post show telling a WWE trainer that he was "going home"

Match 2: Sheamus defeated Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) with the Brogue Kick in a competitive bout.

Keven Jonas was the WWE Twat of the Night or some such nonsense involving Twitter.

Paul Heyman made his way out to no entrance music. He asked what it feels like to be powerless. He said the crowd's booes wouldn't change the fact that Brock Lesnar defeated HHH last night. History doesn't record booes, rather it'll record that his client emerged victorious in the cage, and that Triple H will go down in history as a loser. While Lesnar is at home enjoying the spoils of war, HHH tucked his sledgehamer between his legs and went home to mummy. Heyman said with Lesnar fulfilling his obligations to WWE, people had questioned what he was now going to talk about. He said it's time for something different. It's time to give us that moment in time where we need to set our DVR. The Youtube clip that we'll all look back on in history and see where it "took a left turn". Heyman claimed that tonight we all witness history. He introduced the "newest Paul Heyman guy": Curtis Axel (Curt Hennig's son from NXT). Axel came out to a dead reaction. He's got a rejigged version of Mr Perfect's theme. Crowd booed. Heyman said it's the exact same reaction the crowd gave Lesnar in 2002, and the same reaction in 2006 that greeted CM Punk in the new ECW (actually they cheered). Heyman said that in the Alice in Wonderland, upside-down land of WWE, having a legacy like Curtis Axel is an albatross that sinks you to the bottom of the talent pool. He says he's playing homage to his Dad and Axe Hennig with his name, but is going to carve out his own niche. With the beard he looks like Mike Knox.

Hour 2

Triple H's music then hit and came out with a smirk on his face. Hunter, clearly not giving a gooseberry fool, sarcastically said "Wow" and blew off Hennig. HHH told Heyman that he could put any spin on last night he wanted, but not to claim he's embarrassed because he isn't embarrassed about a damn thing. He went to war and Lesnar beat him, but he'd beat him at Mania. Triple H said that Lesnar didn't walk away last night, he limped. Mr Axel then got in Triple H's face, and told him that 'The Game' had now changed. Triple H, grinning like a loon, slapped him in the face, and Axel fell to the mat like a piece of piss. Hunter said he's going to book himself in a match with Axel tonight, and once he'd got through kicking his ass, he's going to kick Heyman's.

Match 3: Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) with the Big Ending, after Langston raked Del Rio in the eyes while the referee was distracted by Ricardo's tin pot AJ Lee had rolled into the ring.

They re-aired highlights of the opening segment.

Match 4: AJ Lee beat Laya with the Black Widow. Commentators seemed to talk about everything but the match. The Bellas were shown watching on a TV backstage.

Match 5: Cody Rhodes pinned continual no-hoper Zack Ryder off the Disaster Kick. Neither man got an entrance.

After the match, Ryback made his way down to the ring and laid waste to Ryder with a Clothesline, Powerbomb and Shellshocked. Ryback then chucked Ryder to the floor, picked him up and carried him to the ambulance beside the stage. After chucking him in the back, the meat wagon reversed back out of the arena.

The Shield made their way through the crowd and took the microphone. They said that last night they took power back to the titles. They claimed they were the reason The Rock lost at WrestleMania, that Undertaker was now resting in peace, and why Ryback felt so alone and helpless that he finally snapped. He said all the fan's heroes had gone down at the hands of The Shield's justice. Rollins claimed we can now all see what a cohesive unit looks like, and said the scary part was that this was just the beginning, and that they run the yard.

Hour 3

Match 6: In another great WWE six man tag, The Shield defeated Kofi Kingston and Team Hell No when Reigns Speared Kane for the pin.

Triple H was shown taping up backstage when "Larry" the trainer walked in. He told HHH that the doctor doesn't think he's able to compete. Triple H asked whether the Doc likes having a job in WWE, and if he doesn't like Hunter's decision he can find a job elsewhere. A public sign of how the inner workings of WWE work, there...

Natalya was backstage with Kaityln, who had received another text when Rhodes walked past on his phone. Natalya hugged him and Kaitlyn nabbed the phone. Cody Rhodes was posting pictures of himself on the internet, much to the derision of the two girls. Wonder if this was a rib on Matt Striker, who posted photos of his 3 inch cock on the internet...

They announced 150,000 votes have been cast on the App service.

Jerry Lawler announced to the Live crowd that Randy Orton had received 72% of the vote to face Swagger.

Match 7: Randy Orton pinned Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) with the RKO.

Re-aired highlights of Ryback from the top of the show.

Fiddly Diddly Coombs promoted bullying. Or the opposite of it.

Over-run

Main Event: Triple H and Curtis Axel ended in a No Contest when Triple H, appearing blown up and disorientated, collapsed at ringside. As medical personnel checked on him, Lawler questioned whether Triple H was having a stroke. Possibly a concussion angle.

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Location: Calgary, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Memorial Day RAW got under way with a video package thanking the troops.

WWE Champion John Cena came out and, rather than accept Ryback's challenge for an Ambulance match at WWE Payback next month, decided to tweak the stipulation. For only the 4th time in WWE history, Cena said he wants Ryback in a 3 Stages of Hell match. 1st fall a Lumberjack match, 2nd a Tables match and finally an Ambulance match. Cena said once he'd beaten him in 2 straight falls, he'd pick up Ryback and chuck him in the back of the ambulance anyway. Ryback interrupted with a big smile on his face. He said he agreed with Cena that payback should be definitive and should be hell. Some of the crowd started chanting "Goldberg". Ryback claimed that's what he tried to do to him at Extreme Rules when he put him through the LED board. Crowd began giving him the "What" treatment. Ryback said he tried to take Cena to hell, and compared himself to Lucifer and Satan. As Ryback left, Paul Heyman came out. He said while Cena's saying hello to everyone, he'd like him to say hello to a future WWE Champion, and a person who defeated HHH so decisively we won't be seeing Triple H around any more. Curtis Axel came out sporting new music (yes, already). He said both he and Heyman were watching backstage. They said as Cena was a fighting champion, he wouldn't back down from their challenge tonight: John Cena vs. Curtis Axel. Cena said Curtis shouldn't listen to a word Heyman says as he's full of more crap than a stable after a stampede. Curtis told Cena that they didn't ask for he's opinion, they asked whether he was looking for a fight. Cena said Curtis showed guts and moments of greatness, but he's already talking like he's the big dog in the yard. Cena asked how about we find out just how good Curtis really is, and accepted the challenge for later tonight.

Alberto Del Rio was shown walking backstage with Ricardo towards the ring.

Match 1: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) defeated Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) with a roll-up after sending Langston into an exposed turnbuckle, which had been undone by AJ Lee earlier in the match.

Afterwards, AJ Lee and Big E had words in the ring, with AJ Lee shouting that she was trying to help.

During the match, Jerry Lawler said that he was suffering from AJHD. That is whenever he sees AJ Lee in HD he can't focus on anything else.

It was announced The Shield would defend the belts against Team Hell No tonight.

Kane and Daniel Bryan were arguing backstage again about Daniel Bryan's obsession with not being the weak link when Bret Hart walked in. He said they were better than this and they both needed to get their act together. Kane asked why when he says the same thing to Bryan he doesn't listen, yet when Hart says it Bryan suddenly pays attention. Bryan responded by saying 'that's Bret Hart, the best there is, was, and ever will be'. Whereas 'Kane is just...Kane'.

They announced Bret Hart Appreciation Night, hosted by Jerry Lawler, will take place exclusively on the WWE App after the conclusion of RAW. Because 3+ hours on Monday, and a further 3 throughout the week, just aren't enough.

Match 2: Dean Ambrose defeated Kofi Kingston with his finishing manoeuvre to retain the United States Championship.

During the match on the WWE App, Sheamus and Randy Orton were shown having stilted conversation while watching on backstage.

As The Shield were celebrating Ambrose's victory in the ring, Kane's pyro went off on the stage and Team Hell No ran down and got into it with The Shield, sending them retreating to the outside.

Hour 2

Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions The Shield retained against Team Hell No when Seth Rollins nailed Kane with a flying knee off the top rope for the pin.

During the match some of the crowd chanted "JBL", "Michael Cole", and "This is awesome!".

They recapped the opening segment with John Cena.

The commentators said that according to WWE doctors, Triple H was suffering from the effects of the sledgehammer blow to the head, and wasn't supposed to compete last Monday but went against doctors orders. He was advised not to travel to RAW tonight, but that he had suffered no further damages. It was announced that all that was needed was rest, and all being well he should be cleared by the middle of the week, therefore could be at RAW next Monday.

The Miz came out to the ring. They said fans could vote now on the WWE App to decide if they wanted Miz to be Guest Ring Announcer, Guest Referee, or Guest Commentator in the next match. Jerry Lawler voted for guest commentator.

Back from break, Jerry Lawler revealed to the crowd that 85% of fans had voted for Guest Referee.

Wade Barrett and Big E Langston vs. The Miz and Del Rio for WWE Main Event Wednesday.

Match 4: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) defeated Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett in a non-title match when Miz nailed Barrett with the Skull Crushing Finale after Wade Barrett threw Miz down, having accidentally got in the way. After the match as Fandango was dancing with Summer, Miz kicked him in the head, resulting in Summer Rae falling on top of him. Miz then symbolically counted to 3.

A very beardy Shawn Michaels was backstage with John Cena. Michaels asked if he was sure he wanted to do this. Shawn said he's the voice of reason but nobody ever listens.

3MB were shown attempting to get a piece of Natayla's pink cake backstage. It ended up in Hornswoggle's face.

Match 5: Sweet T, Brodus Clay and Khali (w/Natalya, Hornswoggle and The Funkadactyls) defeated 3MB when Brodus pinned Heath off a big splash.

Jerry Lawler said he used to be in a band called The Hinges. They supported The Doors.

After the match, Khali sang Happy Birthday to Natayla. Everyone then danced.

Paul Heyman was shown backstage making his way towards the ring.

John Cena voiced a Memorial Day video package.

Chris Jericho, flashing jacket and all, came out for the Highlight Reel with Paul Heyman. The set is now simply a black carpet with a TV on a stand. Sparing no expense. Jericho called Heyman the most disingenuous and bulbous superstar in WWE history. Heyman came out. Jericho said Heyman's been called a lot of things in his time, from a genius to a walrus, however he deserves credit for aligning himself with tremendous talent. Heymen responded by saying he discovers and develops great talent, such as Chris Jericho. He claimed he gave Jericho his first big break. Jericho replied by saying while that's true, Heyman also still owes him money. Heyman said that's why he's waived his fee for tonight. He said he discovers new talent, just like he's done with Curtis Axel. Jericho said he has great potential, but he doesn't want to talk about him, rather he wants to talk about Heyman's other client. Heyman got into bigging up Lesnar before Jericho told him to shut up, as Jericho wasn't talking about him either. Rather he wanted to know about CM Punk. They re-aired Punk's comments from last month's RAW.

Hour 3

Jericho said what he noticed, apart from Heyman wearing the exact same suit, was Heyman's shocked face. Heyman responded by saying he was glad he brought that up. Heyman said it's his favourite suit, which is why he's wearing it tonight. Crowd chanted "Walrus". Heyman reeled off Punk's accolades. He didnt have to come out and say stupid things like "best there is, best there was and best there ever will be". That annoyed the crowd. Jericho turned into Mr Blobby and cut Paul off with "Blah, blah, blah, blah". Jericho asked Heyman again where Punk was. Heyman said he would have an announcement in the coming weeks about Punk's return. Jericho was having none of it, saying Punk couldn't sit at home and still lay claim to being the best in the world. Heyman said Punk's watching right now. Jericho noted the next PPV is in Chicago, so if Punk wants to retain the title best in the world, how about Punk face him at Payback. Heyman said Jericho can't dictate to either of them. If Punk's going to stay at home, Jericho said, he's therefore going to proclaim himself as the best in the world at what he does. Heyman, now having being goaded into it, said if he wants a match with Punk at Payback then, on behalf of Punk, he accepts.

They congratulated The Rock for being Number 1 at the Box Office.

Match 6: The Bella Whores defeated Natalya and Kailtyn when Kaitlyn accidentally Speared Natalya, allowing the Bella without the boob job to pick up the pin. Kaiyln's breasts looked GREAT.

Curtis Axel was preparing backstage when Bret Hart walked in. Bret Hart said Axel should get rid of "that bum Paul Heyman". Axel said just because he knew his dad doesn't mean he knows him. Curtis told Bret to enjoy his Appreciation Night, as he was going to enjoy beating John Cena instead.

A bizarre vignette aired for Bray Wyatt and what I presume to be his relatives, possibly lifted from NXT.

Match 7: The Celtic Vipers (Randy Orton and Sheamus) beat Team Rhodes Scholars when Sheamus fed Sandow too many limes. That or a Brogue Kick.

During the match, Heyman was shown giving Curtis Axel a pep talk on the WWE App.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton booked for SmackDown. Not that announcing something on TV means anything these days...

Over-run

Main Event: Curtis Axel defeated WWE Champion John Cena in a non-title match via Count Out. An Ambulance sped into the arena and John Cena immediately left the ring to investigate. Ryback nailed him from behind, and was about to Spear Cena through the LED panel again, but Cena reversed and was about to hit the AA when Ryback muscled out and pushed Cena off the stage, before quickly making his escape backstage. As Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman celebrated in the ring, Cena begrudgingly clapped the victory.

During the match, there was some sort of altercation or disturbance in the crowd that resulted in everyone being distracted for ages. Security appeared to be manhandling someone in the top left of the screen.

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Location: XL Center, Hartford, CT
Attendance: Unannounced
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

They announced Triple H would face Curtis Axel in a rematch later tonight.

Monday Night RAW opened with Stephanie McMahon making her way to the ring. Stephanie said it was great to be back on RAW, but just wished it was under better circumstances.

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No this isn't an accidental screen grab from an episode of RAW in 2001...

She said despite doctors clearing Triple H to wrestle, she was making an executive decision and cancelling the match. Crowd booed. Steph claimed she was making the decision as an executive, wife, and mother. She said Triple H wasn't going to risk his health against Curtis Axel, who she deemed to be "beneath him". She then asked the crowd not to be selfish, which went down as well as you'd expect. "No Chance In Hell" then hit and Vince made his way out. Vince asked if the crowd were happy to see him. They cheered. Vince said he had a request, and that was for the crowd not to boo his daughter. Vince said both of them cared more about Triple H than the fans did. Crowd broke out into a loud "Triple H" chant. Vince and Stephanie were about to leave when Vince remembered something. He told the crowd that WWE is "family entertainment, not a blood sport". He asked the crowd if they wanted Triple H's heart, liver, lungs and various other parts of his body. Vince then lambasted the crowd about their reaction Friday night to Ryback putting Kofi Kingston through 3 tables. He said the crowd chanted "one more time" each time Kofi was put through a table, but there wouldn't be "one more time" for Triple H. Not now, or ever. Vince reiterated Stephanie's remarks that Curtis Axel - along with the crowd - are beneath Triple H. The Shield interrupted and made their way through the crowd, JBL imploring both the McMahon's to leave the ring, as RAW crashed to commercial.

Back from break, The Shield were in the ring, the McMahon's having left "without incident" on the WWE App.

They re-aired the conclusion to the six man tag team match from SmackDown.

Match 1: In front of a very hot crowd, The Shield defeated Randy Orton and Team Hell No in another excellent 6 man tag when Randy Orton, who was going for an RKO on Roman Reigns, was pushed off and bonked into Bryan, allowing Ambrose to nail Bryan with his finisher for the pin.

They announced Alberto Del Rio will face Big E Langston later tonight.

They also announced a CM Punk and Chris Jericho Contract Signing for Payback later.

Kane, Randy Orton, and Bryan were arguing backstage. Randy apologised for what happened in their match. Bryan said that it was his fault that they lost. Bryan said neither of them respected him. Kane said Bryan's lost touch with reality. Bryan responded by saying the reality was they think he's the weak link, and as neither of them respect him, he was going to find another way to show it to them tonight. He was going to have another match and beat someone else. Bryan then stormed off.

Triple H was shown arriving at the building and walking with his bag backstage, before asking a stage-hand where Vince's office was. In his office, Triple H told Vince he was wrestling Curtis Axel tonight. Vince said no he wasn't. Triple H said who was going to stop him. Vince asked Triple H not to do something he would regret, before leaving, as Stephanie McMahon closed the door on the cameras.

Match 2: The Uso's defeated The Prime Time Players with a Splash off the top rope onto Darren Young.

They showed some people and athletes that'll be competing in the 2014 Special Olympics in the front row.

Ricardo introduced Alberto Del Rio.

Hour 2

Match 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) beat Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) with roll up combination off the Arm Breaker.

WWE REWIND: Sheamus and Damien Sandow from SmackDown playing 3 cups 1 ball.

Match 4: Sheamus pinned Cody Rhodes off a Brogue Kick.

Damien Sandow on commentary promoted Meredith Whitney (JBL's wife) new book.

After the match, Sheamus went over to Damien Sandow at the announce table. When Damien Sandow refused to shake his hand, Sheamus punched him in the face.

Triple H was shown storming into the parking bay with Stephanie. Triple H threw his luggage into the boot of a limo and said he wasn't leaving because Vince asked him to, but rather so he didn't end up kicking Vince's arse on worldwide TV. He asked Stephanie to go tell that "crazy old bastard" he'd be in the ring at the start of RAW next week to wrestle Curtis Axel. Triple H then got in the limo and drove off, leaving Stephanie standing there.

They re-aired Ryback destroying Kofi Kingston on SmackDown.

Bryan was shown kicking over stuff backstage when he walked into Ryback, who called Bryan "a little puke". Bryan asked if he was going to do to him what he did to Kofi on SmackDown. Ryback said that because of him Kofi had surgery on Thursday. Ryback said when he had the flu his sick was bigger than Bryan. Bryan responded by saying he wasn't afraid of him, which led to Ryback saying Bryan must have lost his mind. Ryback asked why Bryan doesn't face him later tonight, so not only would Bryan be the weak link, he'd be the missing link too.

Heyman was with Curtis Axel in McMahon's locker room. Vince told Curtis that he has 'a hell of a future ahead of him'. Paul Heyman extended his hand to shake Vince's hand but Vince completely blanked him. Vince said he would have loved to see the match with Triple H tonight, but we're not going to. We're not going to see the match next week either. Heyman thanked Vince for the opportunity and said they'd see him Friday on SmackDown. Vince said Axel's going to be in action tonight against John Cena in a No Disqualification match up. Vince wished Curtis luck.

Randy Orton and Team Hell No was announced as guests for MizTV Friday night.

They re-aired Fandango beating up Khali at the conclusion of their Dance-Off a few weeks back.

Match 5: Great Khali (w/Natalya and Hornswoggle) defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) via Count-Out when Fandango simply walked out.

Jerry Lawler noted Khali has a chin so massive he must get fan mail from Jay Leno. Michael Cole found this hilarious.

As Fandango was heading up the ramp, Miz came out on the stage in an attempt to get Fandango to head back to the ring but Wade Barratt snuck up behind Miz and, upon turning around, was nailed with the Bull Hammer Elbow.

Match 6: The Miz submitted Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett with the Figure Four in a non-title bout. Fandango came out on the stage with Summer Rae and started dancing, distracting Barrett.

Jerry Lawler was in the ring for the Contract Signing between CM Punk and Chris Jericho. Lawler introduced Y2J first, followed by Punk's representative Paul Heyman. Lawler said they've both looked at the contract already, and all they needed to do was sign it. Paul said they could have just signed this in private backstage. As Paul was about to head into another long monologue bigging up Punk, Jericho interrupted and mockingly reeled off Punk's accolade's instead. Heyman signed the contract. He said before Jericho did so was he sure he was ready for Payback. He said while tonight he was in "a building filled with Jericho-Horlicks", that wouldn't be the case in Chicago.

Hour 3

Jericho said Heyman might be right. Maybe they should have the match at Summerslam in LA instead. Heyman refused. Jericho then asked how about MSG in New York. Heyman responded by saying while that was tempting, it was still no. Jericho said what about tonight in Hartford Connecticut? Crowd popped big for that and chanted "Yes!". Heyman said "No" once more. Crowd deflated. Jericho sarcastically said "Guess we'll just to have it in Chicago" and signed the contract. "When you act like a jackass like Punk, you get treated like a jackass". Jericho asked they're now going to have to figure out where to file the contract; at Heyman's lawyers office, Jericho or WWE headquarters. Jericho said he had a good idea where the contract should be filed. Jericho told Heyman to stand up and unbutton his jacket. Y2J rolled up the contract and shoved it down the front of Heyman's trousers, before telling Heyman he'd see them in Chicago.

Sheamus Antonio vs. Antonio Cesaro announced for Main Event Wednesday. Running joke this is.

Match 7: Funkadactyls and WWE Divas' Champion Kaitlyn beat The Bellas and AJ Lee when Kaitlyn pinned a Bella off a Spear. AJ Lee refused a tag and skipped off, effectively costing them the match.

Hollywood Undead Another Way Out is the official soundtrack of Payback.

Bryan was in his locker room. Kane said this was a mistake fighting Ryback. Kane said in all the years he's been in the WWE he's never seen anyone with the will to fight like Bryan. He has nothing to prove to anyone. Bryan said he was wrong, and he always has something to prove. He said he was going to prove it without Kane. Bryan asked Kane if he understood. Kane said he did loud and clear, and that he was leaving. Kane told Bryan to call him when he's found his mind, because it's obvious he's lost it.

They showed another vignette for the Wyatt Family.

Sirens filled the arena for Ryback's entrance from the back of the ambulance. Thought Scott Steiner was coming out...

Match 8: Daniel Bryan defeated Ryback via Disqualification in a hell of a match when Ryback Powerbombed Bryan through a table.

Before Ryback could put Bryan through another table on the outside, John Cena ran down to make the save. Ryback and Cena stared each other down, before Curtis Axel's music hit and he made his way out with Paul Heyman. A WWE Trainer checked on Bryan in the ring as we headed to break.

Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel was announced for SmackDown.

Over-run

Main Event: In a No Disqualification match, Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) defeated John Cena via Count-Out when Ryback interfered and ran Cena through a table set up against the barricades on the outside. Ryback screamed "At Payback, Ryback Rules" at a fallen Cena to take RAW off the air.

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Location: My living room
Attendance: Not sure. I counted about twenty before I got distracted by
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour One: Match One: Triple H vs Curtis Axel. Axel entered to very little reaction, possibly due to his music changing again. Did it? I'm not sure, probably. Match was about thirty seconds long with Triple H on top when Vince's music hit and he made his way to ringside. Vince spoke to the bell-man and Justin Roberts. The bell rang and Curtis Axel was announced the winner by disqualification, which added a new finisher to Curtis's repertoire to go with the deadly Count Out. Triple H seethed and hopped out the ring, ordering Justin Roberts to restart the match. Triple H beat up on his opponent for a few seconds before Vince came back out and ordered Axel the winner by forfeit. Triple H rolled out of the ring and ordered the match be changed "by the COO of the WWE" to a 60 minute Iron Man Match. Vince returned to ringside, told Curtis he could go as he'd already won twice then stole the microphone and ring bell before leaving.

I didn't make any of that up, honest.

Ryback and Cena will be face to face later tonight on Raw. Not sure how that's any different from every other week for the past two months, but we'll have to see. They mentioned they'll hear from Kaitlyns secret admirer and then said Kane vs Dean Ambrose is up next.

Back from the break and Triple H was maaaad at Vince. Steph was almost crying, begging him not to hurt her dad. Triple H was still mad, but she controls the boob supply in his life so he asked her to go talk to Vince instead, then threw a towel to show his anger. Grr.

Match Two: Kane vs Dean Ambrose. Kane entered first while they played a recap of him and Daniel Bryan Danielson shouting at each other from Smackdown. Dean entered with the other members of the Shield, who stopped partway down the steps and retreated, possibly to go watch the match on tv, while eating some grapes. Green ones, maybe seedless, I'd imagine.

Still no bell so they just started wrestling. It was fun as Kane threw Dean about a bit and generally beat him up. It's Kane vs Dean Ambrose, you've probably already seen it a couple of times. A referee ran down with the ring bell. First mention of the WWE app after the break during this, where you can watch Randy Orton watch the match you're not watching. Rollins and Reigns ran in for the DQ as Kane was readying himself for the chokeslam, but Randall Keith Orton (Hey, that spells RKO!) and Daniel Bryan Danielson made the save to run off the dastardly hounds of justice.

Second mention of the WWE App, vote for Daniel Bryan Danielson's opponent tonight, either Roman Reigns or Seth Rollins. Randy Orton will face the remaining dude, who will no doubt feel as unloved as an AWOL order from the military or a turd in a divas bag.

Seth Rollins won the vote, to the delight of Ring of Honor fangirls (And some boys) all over the world. Kane, Randall and DBD were arguing backstage about arguing and hitting each other last week on Smackdown. Kane was attempting to mediate when BRAD MADDOX and Vickie sidled into shot. Vickie announced that this Sunday at Payback (I know, someone remembered there was a PPV Sunday!) it'll be Randy Orton and Bryan Danielson Bryan versus The Shield for the Tag Team titles. @LanceStorm christened this team RK-NO, which is just one of the best things ever. Kane was most displeased and shouted "What?" in a voice that was quite unbefitting for a monster and quite funny for me. Vickie then announced Kane would face Dean Ambrose at the PPV for the US title, so he Kane was a happy man and hugged Vickie tight. "The Miz" entered. He's a cock.

Match Three: Wade Barrett joined the gang on commentary as Cody Rhodes got the jobber entrance to face "The Miz." No-one cares about this match. "The Miz" is such a dullard. Why should I cheer for him? He has stupid hair. All of these are thoughts I'd guess the crowd who were sitting on their hands thought as "The Miz" slapped on the figure-four to win the match. Wade was quickly out of his seat to try and attack "The Miz" but was interrupted by Paul Heyman. Heyman announced that just because Fandango was injured didn't mean it wasn't going to be a triple threat match, as his place was going to be taken by Curtis Axel. His protege came out and said something forgettable that ended with the word "perfect" then left.

Mark Henry promo video played, of him generally splitting wigs and kicking asses. That's what he does. He's returning next Monday. Ad break, the more recaps of the Triple H/Vince/Steph stuff earlier for a few minutes. Because nothing makes people tune in early than the knowledge they don't need to tune in early because you'll recap it all anyway.

Hour Two: Stephanie was in Vinces office, talking to the back of his head as he refused to turn around. He did after she mentioned how proud they both were. Vince was wearing a special tie here, it really was something. Steph said Vince crushed "Paul" out there (FOURTH WALL) Vince said he was doing what was best for business, business comes first.

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN.

Don't really, it's probably structurally unsafe to do so. It's just lyrics from Chris Jericho's theme who's making his way to the ring. Jericho got a microphone and built up his upcoming match against CM Punk. He talked about how they both believed they were the best and how they had in common how they worked their way up. Good stuff. Dolph f'n Ziggler interrupted!

Dolph (With AJ and Big E in tow) talked about how'd not long got the World title before it was nearly taken from him due to a concussion. He stated that he felt nobody wanted him to have the belt so he came out and stole the show every night, and that he was going to outclass and outperform Alberto Del Rio this Sunday. Jericho challenged Dolph to a match tonight, Dolph accepted and then said Jericho would be facing Big E instead of him. Ad break.

Match Four: Chris Jericho vs Big E Langston. We came back from the adverts to find the match underway with Big E in charge. Crowd was behind Jericho the whole way with vocal support. Big E got chucked to the outside then kicked, Jericho got thrown into the steps, the WWE App was advertised again and I died a little inside. Jericho got distracted by Ziggler on the apron and got squashed by Big E when he turned around. Big E pulled down his straps to signal for the Big Ending, when a Wild Alberto Del Rio appeared and threw Ziggler towards the ring. Due to this distraction Big E turned his attention to the number one contender, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the win.

Match Five: Zeb Coulter on commentary for Sin Cara vs Antonio Cesaro, who is now German apparently. Zeb unsurprisingly hates the Mexican more, accusing him of sneaking over the border with his face covered, while at least Cesaro came to the US legally with his head held high. Cesaro no longer wears any sort of strapping or knee pads, it's a weird look. This match wasn't good until Sin Cara got off a bit of offense, ascending to the top rope and jumped off, only for Cesaro to catch him into a wonderful twisting backbreaker. Cesaro then picked him up, slapped a headlock on and swung him around without letting go of the headlock. It was awesome and has probably been giffed at least three hundred times by the time most of you read this. Cesaro hit Sin Cara with the Neutraliser and won...the match..on Raw?!?

WTF.

Vince, BRAD MADDOX and Vickie were talking backstage. Thanks to Skys shoddy timing, I missed the start of this but figured out they were talking about Cena and Rybacks face to face thing. BRAD MADDOX suggested having the lumberjacks there to stop them killing each other before the PPV and that was that.

Match Six: Randy Orton came to the ring, shortly followed by Daniel Bryan Danielson. Roman Reigns w/Seth Rollin Rollin Rollin Rollin uh, entered with Ambrose appearing with them at the top of the steps before returning to the dressing room. This was an okay little brawl, but not that interesting. Orton did his spots, etc. Rollins attacked D-Bry on the outside, then ran in to attack Orton. Orton threw Rollins out to join Reigns who had bailed to the outside. Daniel Bryan Danielson dived through the ropes to take out both members of the Shield before shouting Yes as the crowd joined in. Match was ruled a No Contest.

Hour Three: Match Seven: Daniel Bryan vs Seth Rollins followed on straight from the previous match. I think you should go watch this, it was fun. If not, feel free to read on. Everybody in this crowd loved Daniel Bryan, or at least loved chanting YES everytime he punched, kicked or generally did damage to Rollins. One particular highlight was Rollins getting knocked outside and getting hit with Bryan's running knee off the apron, which he sold like he'd been hit with a strawberry floating hammer. D-Bry hooked up Seth in a surfboard dragon sleeper at one point, which looked ridiculous in the best way. D-Bry went for a dive through the ropes and I'm pretty sure Seth just punched him in the face. Daniel Bryan hit a rolling German suplex then seemingly kicked Seth in the head as hard as he could. Seriously, why are you reading these spoilers? You could be watching this match. D-Bry won when he rolled up Seth following a missed splash for the three count, then YES'd along with the crowd. Orton hit an RKO on Seth after the match, he and Daniel Bryan stared each other down for a little bit before they left.

Re-cap of the shows earlier Triple H/Vince/Stephanie stuff. It's 2013. Yeah. Kaitlyn was shown backstage getting ready to meet her secret admirer. Following the break she was in the ring waiting and asked for her secret admirer to show themself. IT WAS BIG E AUSTIN! IT WAS BIG E ALL ALONG! Out came Big E with a bunch of flowers for Kaitlyn. D'aww. Big E presented her with the bunch and asked for the microphone. Big E stated that he was more than just Dolph's heavy and how he was crazy about Kaitlyn. I'm not sure which one of these two has the bigger chest. They pulled together close and teased a kiss, Big E flung her back, then dropped her to the mat. AJ's music played. Boo, hiss! When did romance become so difficult in the wrestling world?

AJ says she was abandoned by Kaitlyn and talked about how she was hurt over the past year by men. Says the likes of D-Bryan, Cena and Punk used her, hurt her and shattered her into glass, but even shattered glass can cut pretty deep. Kaitlyn called her crazy, AJ denied this, said she was smart and laughed it up talking about how Kaitlyn was all alone and nobody cares about her. AJ talked about their match Sunday and said Kaitlyn's gonna go running back to whatever trailer park she came from when she loses. Kaitlyn snapped and attempted beat the piss out of AJ, who bailed and skipped away. Good segment.

Match Eight: Damien Sandow cut a promo as he entered, ragging on Sheamus saying he'd clearly beaten him with his intellect last week and would beat him physically this Sunday. R-Truth came out to face him and I don't think you need to be the intellectual saviour of the masses to figure out who won this one. (Sandow did. It was short.) Sheamus came out and congratulated Sandow for winning, but promised he'd kick his head off this Sunday.

Stephanie was shown backstage sending one guy to tell Vince to meet him in her office and one to tell Triple H to meet her there. Ad break. Lumberjacks entered the arena and began surrounding the ring. Ad break. Back from the break to the office where Steph is there with Triple H and Vince arguing. She storms out and tells them to work it out. They shout some more, Vince puts over Triple H saying he's above a match with Curtis Axel ( :fp: ) and that he wants him to be a legend, saying he wants him to be the guy behind the desk. Vince then says he's got the match with Curtis Axel. Triple H says he doesn't want the match so they start arguing again. Stephanie comes back and makes them all hug. I'm starting to question how much of this I'm actually seeing or just making up at this point.

Cena comes out, weeks old yellow shirt, eight year old routine. SCOTT STEINER IS IN THE HOU-Oh it's just Rybacks ambulance. Ryback stands at the top of the ramp while Cena talks. Cena says he needs to come down to the ring otherwise this isn't a face to face. Ryback tries to talk but gets interrupted. Cena says Ryback doesn't deserve to be champ. Ryback says he should've been three times over. Cena starts shouting. He's still shouting. Please, won't he stop shouting? Cena shouts over a guy and calls him names. Cheer! Ryback makes reasoned points. Boo! Cena says this Sunday Paybacks a bitch! He attempts to roll out of the ring but is thrown back in several times by the lumberjacks. Ryback comes down to the ring and gets thrown in. They attempt to brawl but the lumberjacks stop them. I don't know what the lumberjacks were trying to do here. Both men are trapped in the corners by the other wrestlers as Raw goes off the air.

Image

Location: Van Andel Arena; Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Less than 24 hours removed from WWE Payback, RAW opened with Ricardo announcing new World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio. Crowd started booing Ricardo and then Del Rio as soon as they came out on stage. Alberto Del Rio asked the crowd how their weekend was, and asked why they were talking about the Man of Steel movie when the real Superman was right here. Del Rio said some people thought his win last night was controversial, yet when Ziggler cashed in the night after WrestleMania when he was injured they all cheered. Del Rio continued that he 'always gave everything but was never shown any respect'. Del Rio accused the fans of disrespecting Mexicans, who would rather chant "USA, USA" along with a pig like Jack Swagger and Colter. "I guess that's what America is all about: pigs and cowards". Del Rio said however he would give the fans one more chance to show him some respect. Crowd booed. CM Punk's music then hit and he made his way out along with Paul Heyman. Punk said he wasn't out here because he was berating the crowd, rather that he said he was "the best". Crowd broke out into a "CM Punk" chant. Punks said there is only one best in the world, and the reason he was out was to challenge him. Paul Heyman intervened and said his clients don't fight for free. Punk asked Heyman what he was doing. Heyman said he's banged up from last night and the title wouldn't even be on the line. Punk said he knows he's banged up and knows Ziggler deserves a title rematch, but he was stealing the show at Payback with Chris Jericho. Punk said how about he prove once again he's the best in the world and do it tonight against Alberto Del Rio. Vickie Guerrero, accompanied by Brad Maddox, interrupted. She said she'd like to continue the momentum from last night's PPV so was therefore making CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio in a non-title match official for tonight's RAW main event.

They showed a graphic on the screen saying Vickie Guerrero would have a big surprise for the McMahon family and the rest of the WWE Universe later tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan was announced for later.

Wade Barrett was shown heading towards the ring for a Intercontinental Championship rematch against Curtis Axel.

Paul Heyman was backstage with CM Punk apologising for jumping the gun earlier. CM Punk said he doesn't need Heyman's help to win matches, and that he almost cost him the match against Chris Jericho at Payback. He said he isn't his client and didn't want him at ringside any longer for his matches. Punk said however he'd always be a "Paul Heyman guy" before walking off.

Vickie Guerrero, once again flanked by Brad Maddox, came out and said Barrett's title rematch would have to wait, as he would have to face someone else instead: Christian.

Match 1: Christian defeated Wade Barrett (who didn't receive an entrance) with the Kill Switch.

Michael Cole said that Vickie Guerrero had decided to allow fans on the WWE App to vote on whether tonight's match between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton would be No Disqualification, No Count Out, or 2 out of 3 falls.

A Wyatt Family vignette aired.

Match 2: Team Rhodes Scholars (who didn't receive an entrance) defeated Sheamus in a 2-on-1 Handicap match, not fought under tag rules, when Sandow rolled up Sheamus. After the match, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Cody Rhodes while Sandow was celebrating in the aisle.

They showed a graphic on-screen posing the question on whether Mark Henry would announce his retirement later.

A video package aired promoting the return of oVeRrateD at Money in the Bank next month.

Vickie and Brad Maddox were in their office with Triple H. Vickie said she wanted to do something to make Triple H proud. Hunter said her choice of main event tonight was "genius", and it was great to see Vickie thinking on her toes. He then asked had Punk not come out what the main event would have been. Vickie quickly moved on to the return of Christian. Triple H asked why it took them so long to bring him back when he's been cleared for a month and half. Vickie again quickly moved on to RVD. As Vickie and Brad went back and forth as to who had come up with the idea to resign him, Triple H said he didn't remember either of them on the phone. Triple H then said that Vickie needed to get The shield under control as they've been running roughshod through WWE. Hunter said if they get involved in any matches tonight that they need to be made an example of. Triple then said putting 3MB on the show was also a stroke of genius. Brad thanked him as Hunter left, before Vickie told Brad he was being sarcastic...

Bryan was warming up backstage when Kane walked in. Kane asked whether they could talk. Bryan said he was busy, and if he was only going to say 'told you so' then he wasn't interested. Kane said he wasn't glad of anything, and said that perhaps the fact they both lost at Payback was a sign that they should both give it another shot as a team. Bryan said he would never be able to prove himself, and that the only Team was Team DB. Kane said Bryan was "acting like a DB". Bryan said he needs to win the WWE Champ. Kane said he was thinking same thing in regards to himself too. Kane pondered whether they were now done and whether this was it for them as a team. Kane wished Bryan luck, which only led to Bryan asking whether he was only wishing him luck because he thinks he's the weak link. Kane stormed off...

Voting for Bryan vs. Orton opened.

They showed an interview with Randy Orton from the WWE App. He said it was down to Bryan that they lost at Payback, and Bryan was the weak link, and he was going to prove it tonight.

Jerry Lawler entered the ring and revealed the WWE App voting had decided the stipulation for Bryan and Orton would be No DQ, with 54% of the vote.

Hour 2

Match 3: Randy Orton defeated Daniel Bryan via stoppage when the WWE Doctor called the match off due to Bryan suffering some sort of injury. This appeared to be legit, as at one point Orton was heard asking the referee "what the strawberry float is going on?", as WWE desperately attempted to mute the audio. Randy Orton checked if he was okay and along with the trainer helped Bryan to the back.

They recapped the opening segment.

They aired Kaitlyn crying from last night after losing the WWE Divas' title.

AJ Lee, accompanied by Big E Langston made their way out. AJ grabbed the microphone and said "So this is what it feels like to have it all". She announced Ziggler wasn't there, much to the crowd's disappointment. AJ said that she's always been the champion, but now just has the proof. She said that she had employed mind games to crush the spirit of Kaitlyn. AJ said she was the hero of this story, and that she's a women that knows exactly how to get what she wants, and that there isn't a woman anywhere as strong, brilliant or courageous as her, and if there was for them to come out right now. Stephanie McMahon's new music hit and she made her way out. Stephanie said there was a whole line of Divas willing to challenge AJ Lee. Stephanie The Feminist then asked why AJ Lee feels the need to perpetuate this stereotype that women need to tear each other down instead of building each other up. Stephanie said the way AJ treated Kaitlyn was degrading to women everywhere. Crowd chanted "We want puppies". Stephanie said AJ needs to act more like a champion. AJ responded by saying that maybe she does need to be thinking and acting more like Stephanie. Perhaps rather than dating superstars, maybe she should marry one instead. Crowd went "Oooooh". AJ then went on about Stephanie having Daddy issues. Mrs McMahon then said she would have expected something more original. She said if AJ wants to give her the crazy eyes, then she needs to remember there's nobody more crazy than the McMahons. Steph said AJ needs to remember that she can take everything away from AJ and could easily fire her. Kaitlyn interrupted on the ramp with the rest of the Divas locker-room. Stephanie walked up the ramp and told Kaitlyn and the rest of the Divas' never to interrupt her again. Kaitlyn said AJ broke her emotionally, before heading into the ring and brawling with AJ. AJ made it to the outside with Big E Langston then carrying AJ to the back.

Match 4: In a rematch for the United States Championship, Kane defeated Dean Ambrose via Disqualification when The Shield ran-in almost immediately and assaulted Kane.

Mark Henry was backstage shaking hands and hugging with Tamina Snuka and some tag team I can't remember the name of. The one with the comb and looks like John Cena. Ah, who strawberry floating cares anyway...

The Shield were walking backstage, before being confronted by Vickie and Brad. The Shield mocked what Vickie was going to do about their actions. Just as Vickie said "You're..." Vince McMahon turned up to congratulate The Shield, saying it reminded him of himself, and that they were showing "Ruthless aggression". Vince said he never liked that Halloween mask wearing freak anyway, said Vickie looked nice, and walked off.

Another vignette for the Wyatt family aired.

Zeb Colter came out and cut a promo about the US government spying on its citizens and foreigners sneaking across the border. To show neither Jack Swagger or himself are prejudicial, they were joining forces with Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro came out and did Swagger's "We the people" line. Michael Cole called them hypocrites.

Match 5: Antonio Cesaro (w/Zeb Colter) pinned William Regal off of the Neutraliser. After the match they draped a yellow "Don't tread on me" yellow flag over Regal.

John Cena was shown heading towards the ring.

Back from break, WWE Champion John Cena came out in what is fast becoming a night of promos...

The commentators said Ryback refused to go to the hospital last night, but had not been medically cleared to compete on RAW. Usual mixed response for Cena. Cena was grinning from ear to ear like a complete loon.

Hour 3

Cena said he "loves this". Crowd booed the INSUFFERABLE BASTARD. Cena said his favourite superstars were the WWE Universe, because they were always honest. He said every time he steps in the ring he goes to war for the group of fans that support him. Cena said he had a horrible 2012, and that he would come out and ask his fans to hang on in there. Cena said sceptics and critics would always be there, but for those that stood by him "thank you". Cena said he could take care of any challenge that is put in front of him. I blame the writers. Cena said at MITB he would know where his next challenge would come from. There would be no opportune time to cash in as he will always be ready. Cena said "our time is now because the champ is here". Mark Henry's music interrupted and he made his way out smiling clutching a pair of boots. He left them on the stage and made his way into the ring. Henry's wearing a pink blazer. He asked Cena to stay and listen to this. Henry, who was crying, said he was retiring. Crowd chanted various "Thank you Henry" and "One more match" at him. He thanked his family, and said they'd be seeing a lot more of him now, whether they wanted to or not. Someone in the crowd shouted out "Mae Young" which Henry acknowledged. As Cena passed the WWE Title to Henry and went to hug him, Mark Henry then picked him up and gave Cena the World Strongest Slam in the SWERVE OF THE DECADE. Mark Henry shouted "You think it's that easy?" at a downed Cena. Henry walked up to the stage, as he turned around and shouted "that's what I do".

Backstage Mark Henry was approached by Renee Young. Henry said he had everyone fooled and we're all a bunch of puppets. He said the WWE Championship is the only title he hasn't held and he's challenging Cena for it right now.

Match 6: Chris Jericho pinned Heath Slater (w/3MB) off the Codebreaker. After the match the other 2 members of 3MB ran in but were immediately dispatched with Codebreakers.

Heyman was telling Axel backstage to pick his moment when Matt Striker interrupted. Heyman said couldn't they see they were both talking. Striker asked if there was any more to Punk and Heyman splitting. Heyman responded by saying that true friends know when to give each other space, and why Striker wasn't asking about the Intercontinental Champion instead.

The Miz was on commentary.

Match 7: Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) defeated Sin Cara in a non-title bout with a DDT. Seriously, this is their third match in the last month. And those stupid lights are back again. The lights that were so epically gooseberry fool in 1997 when Kane débuted they immediately got rid of it.

They announced Daniel Bryan was scheduled to face Dean Ambrose on SmackDown.

Vince McMahon was backstage with Vickie and Brad saying they were both doing a good job. Vince said that Henry sucked him in and had him crying, and what they were going to do about it. Vickie said she was giving Henry his Championship match at Money in the Bank. Stephanie walked in and said the show was out of control and Vickie needed to reassert her authority. Stephanie called the show a "disaster". Triple H then walked in and said he had ordered Vickie to do something about The Shield, before demanding Vickie start listening to him. Triple H left and Vince said not to worry about it, and instead listen to him. When he walked out, Stephanie put her arm around her and said not to listen to either of them two and rather listen to her. Vince McMahon or a stage-hand was then heard off screen wrapping the segment.

Paul Heyman ran over to Punk backstage as he was heading to the ring and said he understood his decision. Heyman said he loved Punk and told him to "go get 'em". They hugged and as Punk walked off Heyman shouted that he was the "best in the world".

Over-run

Main Event: CM Punk ended in Count Out when Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) simply walked out on the match.

Michael Cole announced on commentary during the match that Daniel Bryan had only suffered a "stinger", and had also been in some form of verbal altercation with Triple H backstage, with footage now on WWE.com.

Dolph Ziggler then appeared and jumped off the stage attacking Ricardo and Del Rio on the floor. Ricardo and Del Rio fled to the back, with Ziggler in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile, with CM Punk still in the ring, Brock Lesnar's music hit and he made his way down to the ring. Lesnar grabbed the microphone, stood in front of Punk, smirked, and then suddenly gave him the F5. Lesnar then laughed and left, leaving Punk out in the ring to take RAW off the air.

Image

Location: North Charleston Coliseum; North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour 1

Monday Night RAW kicked off with Daniel Bryan making his way to the ring. Bryan said that before he starts his match, there have been some people that have accused him of having some sort of "complex"; a walking example of "little man syndrome". He said there were some people asking him whether he was an extra in The Hobbit. To which he replied by saying that he is, in fact, "not an extra in the hobbit". Bryan said that whether he was teaming with Kane or when he was on NXT, some people have accused him of being the weak link. Those people are morons, he claimed, as he's gone toe-to-toe with Orton. Bryan said SmackDown wasn't good enough, and he won't be satisfied until he beats Orton either via pinfall or submission. Bryan then shouted "YES", which brought out Randy Orton. As Bryan said he was glad he came out, Randy grabbed the microphone and told him straight to his face that he should just shut up and fight.

Match 1: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan ended in a Double Disqualification when Daniel Bryan accidentally knocked the referee down on the outside. As both men continued to brawl on and around the announce table, more referees came down to break them up as we crashed to break.

Vickie and Brad Maddox were talking in their office when Daniel Bryan walked in complaining about his match with Orton ending in a Double Disqualification. He demanded a rematch for later tonight, but Brad said that they already have a very full show, and that he had already had his match. Daniel told them that they either give him a match with Randy or he'll face Brad Maddox instead. Vickie told Bryan he had his match...against Randy Orton. As Vickie cackled away at the look on Brad's face, Vince McMahon walked in. Vince said some people think Bryan has issues and is too small to be a WWE Superstar. Vickie asked Vince what he thought. McMahon told Vickie to figure it out herself.

They announced Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow in a "Dublin Street Fight" for SmackDown Friday.

Match 2: Sheamus and Christian defeated Team Rhodes Scholars when Damien and Cody had a miscommunication when making a tag, leading to Sheamus nailing the Brogue Kick on Cody Rhodes for the pin.

In a rematch from SmackDown, they announced Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho for later tonight.

CM Punk was backstage on his phone when Vickie walked up to him. Punk asked whether Heyman or Brock Lesnar had arrived at the building yet? Vickie said she hadn't seen either of them. Vickie told Punk she was putting him in a match tonight. Punk ignored her and continued playing on his phone. Vickie responded by shouting "Excuse me", which only led to Punk shouting "EXCUSE ME" back at her even louder. Punk told Vickie to come find him when they both arrive and left.

They recapped Kaityln and Aksana's altercation from SmackDown, which led to other Divas attempting to separate them.

Match 3: Kaitlyn (w/Layla) pinned Aksana off a Spear. During the match AJ Lee came out dressed as Kaitlyn on the ramp in an attempt to distract her, but to no avail. A small section of the crowd chanted "We want puppies" during the match.

AJ Lee, sporting comedy muscle arms, mocked Kaitlyn on the microphone, which led to Big E Langston coming out with flowers and giving them to AJ. Lee, playing Kaitlyn, said she has the voice of a man, legs of a man and an Adam's apple. As Layla held Kaitlyn back in the ring, AJ Lee said Kaitlyn would never again be Divas' champion.

A Wyatt Family Vignette aired.

They re-aired highlights of Mark Henry's swerve retirement from last week.

Ricardo came out and asked how the crowd was doing in a stupid Southern/hick accent.

They announced Dolph Ziggler will get his rematch for the World Title at Money in the Bank against Del Rio.

Match 4: Chris Jericho defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) by Disqualification when Ricardo entered the ring and waffled Jericho with a steel bucket while he had Del Rio in the Walls of Jericho.

Hour 2

Zolph Ziggler ran down to make the save. After dispatching of Del Rio and Ricardo, Ziggler and Jericho stared each other down. When Jericho turned around, Ziggler hit him with the ZigZag.

Vickie and Brad were in the office saying they were "going to cancel it", when Triple H walked in saying he had heard a nasty rumour that they'd thought about cancelling the Bryan/Orton match tonight. Vickie said she agreed with Vince and that Bryan was too small, and had too many psychological issues. Hunter responded by saying while some people may think that, he doesn't, and the WWE Universe want to see the match. HHH told Vickie it would be a good idea to give the fans a choice on the match stipulations. Triple H then told Brad that he was wearing a spectacular shirt, and whether it came in mens size.

1-800 FELLA commercial.

Jerry Lawler introduced Vickie and Brad in the ring to announce the launch of WWE 2K14. Crowd went mild. Crowd booed Vickie out of the building. She said the stips for the Bryan/Orton match would be Street Fight, Lumberjack match or Falls Count Anywhere. Crowd were booing so loudly that she had to shout at the top of her lungs. Vickie said she had made a cover of her own. It was the McMahon family. Brad had one too, which was himself along with John Cena and CM Punk. As Vickie and Brad then started arguing amongst themselves, Lawler took control and asked the crowd if they wanted to see the real cover. This time the crowd cheered. Some pyro went off on the rig above the ring, and the cover unravelled. It was, NO SURPRISE SURPRISE, The Rock.

Ryback was shown heading towards the ring backstage.

Match 5: In a horrible match that led to a smattering of "Boring" chants, Ryback beat Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) with Shellshocked. Referee was talking to Khali in the background, so he may have been hurt off of this.

WWE Champeen (#TAZ) John Cena came out. Autopilot promo. Vowed victory. WWE title is very important. Champ is here. All that 'good' stuff. Left.

Match 6: In a Number 1 Contenders match for the Tag Team Championship, The Usos defeated Sweet T and Brodus Clay (w/Sandy Relief auction winner EMT Scotty Campbell and the Funkadactyls) and 3MB.

After the match, The Shield's music hit and they stood in the crowd and looked down on The Usos.

Worth noting this show alone has probably had more pyro on it than WWE have used in months.

They aired a trailer for The Call...featuring David Otunga (remember him?) and Kane.

Paul Heyman was shown walking at pace through the backstage area towards the ring.

Paul Heyman made his way out to the ring, as they re-aired highlights of Lesnar attacking Punk last week. Heyman said that for the last 7 days he's been dogged by Lesnar's actions last week. He said as they live their lives so much in public, the only place to address this situation was in public. Punk wanted answers, and he was going to get them. Heyman invited CM punk to come down to the ring. Punk's music hit and a quizzical looking Punk made his way down. The commentators, unconvinced, said they smelt a rat. Punk said the public needed to be brought up to speed on their relationship dating back to 2005. Punk said John Laruintis sent him down to developmental where Heyman was in charge. Punk claimed that WWE didn't want him to succeed, and upper management used to send emails to Heyman telling him not to even consider him for the main WWE roster. But because Heyman saw something in him, he refused to fire him. When ECW was resurrected, Heyman's first pick was CM Punk. With that out of the way, Punk said he wants Heeman to tell Brock he's coming for him. He doesn't care if he's bigger or stronger, he isn't better. Brock doesn't have the balls to be on RAW tonight, so he's telling it to Heyman. Let Lesnar know that Heyman's "beast incarnate" is going down.

Hour 3

Punk then asked Heyman what happened last week, and whether he told Lesnar to attack him or if Lesnar did it of his own accord. Punk questioned if Heyman saw the writing on the wall after Payback and sent Lesnar after him. Punk demanded Heyman to look him in the eye and tell the truth for the first time in his life. Heyman buried his head, looked up at the ceiling and then told Punk he never wanted it to be this way between them. Paul said as Punk is his best friend, he deserves the truth. Heyman claimed, on his children's life, he didn't know Lesnar would be there last week. Crowd booed. Heyman said that was the same response WWE used to give him. He said it's a fact Lesnar had fulfilled all contractual obligations with WWE. Heyman told Punk that when he said Lesnar needed Heyman's help last week, he effectively picked a fight with Lesnar. Heyman said the reason we never saw a Lesnar & Punk Tag team was because of professional jealously between the two, and that's why he kept them apart. Heyman said he and Punk would once again walk down the aisle


TV Listings

Image - Live Monday (Tuesday Morning) 2am on Image & Image

Image - Replay Thursday 10pm on Image & Image (Subject to change)



Quote:
WWE Monday Night Raw is a Live professional wrestling programme, which first debuted on the USA NETWORK back in January of 1993. It is highly regarded as the flagship show of the WWE, & of professional wrestling in general. The show is hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler, who call the action from ringside. Check out http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/


Image - Friday 10pm on Image & Image (Subject to change)

Image - Edited Saturday 10am on Image & Image

Image - Late Night Saturday 11pm on Image

Quote:
WWE Friday Night SmackDown is a professional wrestling programme, first debuting on Network Television on the 26th August 1999. The show originally started off on Thursday nights before being moved to Friday in 2005. The programme is pre-recorded. The show is hosted by Josh Mathews, Michael Cole & Booker T, who call the action from ringside. Check out http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/


Image - Thursday (Friday Morning) 12am on Image & Image (Subject to change)

Image - Monday (Tuesday Morning) 12am on Image & Image



Quote:
NXT (NEXT) is a professional wrestling programme produced by World Wrestling Entertainment, which débuted on the SyFy Network on February 23rd 2010. It is now a WWE.com exclusive in the United States, after being cancelled on television in 2011. The original premise of the show followed numerous WWE superstars as they mentored 8 rookies from Florida Championship Wrestling. The rookie determined to be the winner received a contract to perform on WWE RAW. The show was hosted by Maryse and Matt Striker, and in-ring action by Jack Korpela and William Regal, who called the action from ringside.

Commencing from the 17th May 2012 tapings (broadcast in the UK on the 21st June) the format of the show was changed; now filmed from Full Sail University in Florida, WWE NXT is intended to grant Worldwide exposure to stars from developmental territory Florida Championship Wrestling, with some talent later being called up to either WWE RAW or SmackDown. Hall of Famer Jim Ross and William Regal call the action.


Image - Sunday 10am on Image

Image- Sunday 3pm on Image

Image - Monday (Tuesday morning) 1am on Image



Quote:
WWE Vintage Collection is a professional wrestling television programme from World Wrestling Entertainment showcasing action from the extensive WWE video library, including matches from the 80s & 90s. The show is hosted by Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund.


Image - Sunday at 9pm on Image



Quote:
IMPACT WRESTLING, formerly TNA iMPACT, is a professional wrestling programme produced by Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA), which first debuted on Cable Television in May of 2004. The show is filmed at the 'iMPACT Zone', Soundstage 21 at the Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. Featuring the likes of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Sting, AJ Styles & Abyss, the show is hosted by Mike Tenay & Taz, who call the action from ringside.



Image - Every Thursday on Image

Quote:
Ring of Honor (ROH) is an American professional wrestling promotion, first founded in 2002. Featuring new talent like Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, and former WWE & IMPACT WRESTLING stars like Jay Lethal, Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin, the show is hosted by Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness, who call the action from ringside.


Image - Saturday 8pm on Image

Quote:
Ring Ka King (King of the Ring) is an Indian professional wrestling promotion owned and operated by TNA Wrestling. The show is filmed at Pune The Stadium in India. Featuring new talent like Roscoe Jackson and Raisha Saeed, along with familiar faces such as Scott Steiner and Mickie James, the show is hosted by Siddharth Kannan and Jeremy Borash.


Sites of Interest

http://www.f4wonline.com (The Wrestling Observer)
http://www.pwinsider.com
http://www.prowrestling.net
http://www.pwtorch.com
http://www.jrsbarbq.com
http://www.rajah.com
http://www.thewrestlinganswer.com
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/wrestling
http://www.lordsofpain.net


Live Streaming

http://www.justin.tv
http://www.ustream.tv

WWE Tagged Classic Reviews (courtesy of PowerSlam magazine) - 1997 to 1998

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PowerSlam Magazine Recap

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Issue #52, November 1998

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In the News (edited by Fin Martin)

    In all the happenings from WWF Raw is War & Sunday Night Heat...

  • From the September 21 Raw is War (taped on September 15th before a sell out crowd of 10,500 in Sacramento, California): The Headbangers turned heel on The Oddities by blasting them with silly string, then beating them senseless. The dastardly Mosh and Thrasher also destroyed Golga’s Cartman doll.

    Jacqueline pinned Sable to capture the revived WWF Women’s Title.

    In a vignette, ‘Man’s Man’ Steven Regal was shown shaving in a forest.

    Al Snow downed Sgt. Slaughter in a lousy Boot Camp match.

    Following Val Venis’ bout with Owen Hart, which ended by way of disqualification when Dustin Runnels ran in, his latest ‘XXX’ video aired on the Titan Tron. The sequel to The Preacher’s Wife – broadcast on the previous week’s programme – There’s Something About Terri also co-starred Terri Runnels. The artist formerly known as Marlena then broke the news to Dustin: there were through! Val was the new person in her life – him being the “bigger man” and all...

    Finally, X-Pac defeated D-Lo Brown to lift the European title.

  • From the September 27 Sunday Night Heat: Golga pinned Mosh in a horrible match.

    Michael Cole claimed that 'Triple H' had been attacked and would therefore be unable to defend his Intercontinental title against Mark Henry on the Breakdown show. What a shame that was...

    The Hardy Boyz beat Sho Funaki and Mens Teoih in a fast-paced aerial battle.

    Finally, Austin disguised as a cameraman, cornered Mr McMahon inside a steel cage and gave him a bit of a pasting.

  • From the September 28 Raw is War (held before a sell out crowd of 14,500 in Detroit, Michigan): Vince McMahon came out with the World title belt and claimed that, unlike in June when the championship changed hands at King of the Ring, Steve Austin would not receive a rematch. McMahon then said that he would crown a new champion later on the show...

    Owen Hart went to a no-contest with Dan Severn when he nailed him with a tombstone piledriver and Severn suffered a ‘serious’ neck injury.

    The Undertaker and Kane came out for the presentation ceremony but, before McMahon could announce who was the new World Champion, he was attacked by Steve Austin. After police hauled ‘Stone Cold’ out of the building in handcuffs, a furious McMahon castigated Undi’ and Kane for failing to protect him from Austin. He then said, as a punishment, they would have to fight it out in the main event of In Your House XXV: Judgment Day in order to determine the new champion, adding that the bout would be officiated by none other than ‘Stone Cole’ Steve Austin. As the ‘brothers’ were leaving the squared circle, The Undertaker caught McMahon giving him the finger, then he and Kane destroyed him.

    Finally, The Rock, Ken Shamrock and Mankind defeated The undertaker and Kane when The Rock pinned ‘Taker.

  • From the October 4 Sunday Night Heat: From his hospital bed, McMahon claimed that his leg had been crushed and that he was in "excruciating pain." He said that he would never forgive The Undertaker and Kane - then, curiously, placed the blame for the entire incident on Austin.

    Kurrgan and Golga beat The Headbangers following interference from The Insane Clown Posse.

    The Rock went to a no-contest with Jarrett when Dennis Knight interfered. 'Stone Cold', on commentary, then left the broadcast position and wiped out Knight and Jarrett. The Rock and Austin stared each other down as the show went off the air.

  • From the October 5 Raw is War (taped on September 29th before a sell out crowd of 10,000 in East Lansing, Michigan): D-Lo Brown pinned X-Pac to regain the European title.

    McMahon was shown giving a nurse a hard time from his hospital bed.

    The Headbangers viciously beat the crap out of The Insane Clown Posse.

    Steven Regal demonstrated his masculinity by downing a glass of orange juice.

    Owen Hart apologised for ‘injuring’ Dan Severn on the previous week’s programme, then left...

    Austin, disguised as a Doctor, annihilated McMahon in his private hospital ward.

    Finally, The Rock pinned The Undertaker in an average match after Kane blasted him with a steel chair.


    From the October 11 Sunday Night Heat: Kaientai defeated Too Much and The Hardy Boyz.

    Edge pinned Vader clean.

    Al Snow beat Shamrock by DQ when Shamrock refused to release the ankle lock. Mankind made the save.

    Austin pinned D-Lo Brown.

  • From the October 12 Raw is War (held before another sell out crowd of 10,700 in Uniondale, New York): McMahon was shown arriving at the arena in his Corvette.

    It was announced Hunter Hearst Helmsley had been stripped of the Intercontinental title and that an eight-man tournament would be held to fill the vacancy.

    In a first round match up, Shamrock beat Steve Blackman via ankle lock submission. After the decision, Owen Hart – in Blue Blazer garb – hit the ring and attacked both men.

    In other first round bouts, Val Venis defeated Marc Mero, Mankind beat Mark Henry, and X-Pac pinned Jeff Jarrett.

    In Semi-final number one, Shamrock beat Venis with the ankle lock. Following the match, Goldust ran in and destroyed Venis.

    X-Pac took Semi-final number two with a win over Mankind, but then fell victim to an attack from ‘The World’s Most Dangerous Heel’...

    In the Final, Shamrock beat X-Pac, again using the ankle lock, to claim the title.

    [A title tournament with no disqualification finishes, & all decided cleanly. Now isn’t that novel... – KK]

    And finally, Austin and The Rock downed Undi’ and Kane by DQ when new signing The Big Boss Man (Ray Taylor) walloped ‘Stone Cold’ with his nightstick.


    In all the happenings from WCW Monday Nitro...

  • From the September 21 Monday Nitro (held before a crowd of 15,000 in Boston, Massachusetts): In a PISS-poor segment, The Warrior 'kidnapped' The Disciple. Later, Hollywood Hogan discovered Disciple lying on the floor in the toilets. Then the nasty mist was piped in and, when it had cleared, The Disciple was gone!

    Raven and Kanyon went to a no-contest with Villanos IV and V when Villano IV suffered a legitimate neck injury (as opposed to a Dan Severn neck injury) when Raven and Kanyon nailed him with a combination neckbreaker/powerbomb and the match was stopped. Afterwards, Raven looked very concerned.

    Cruiserweight champion Billy Kidman (who captured the belt from Juventud Guerrera on the previous week's programme) downed Disco Inferno in a strong bout.

    Ric Flair had an extremely heated verbal confrontation with Eric Bischoff.

    Kevin Nash and Lex Luger went to a non-finish with The Giant and Stevie Ray in a poor match-up when Scott Hall staggered in, tossed the referee to one side and fell down. Nash then challenged Hall to a match at Halloween Havoc.

    Finally, The Disciple revealed that he had joined forces with OWN (One Warrior Nation). Fantastic.

  • From the September 28 Monday Nitro (held before a sell out crowd of 9,800 in Rochester, New York): Hollywood Hogan issued challenges to Sting and Bret Hart. Later, 'The Hitman' (who turned babyface on the September 14th Nitro) vowed to "kick the crap out of Hogan;" hence, the match was on.

    The Warrior cut a pathetic, nonsensical speech which was roundly booed.

    Nash beat Brian Adams by disqualification when Ray and Vincent ran in. An apparently sober Hall then hit the ring and lamped Nash.

    The bout between Hogan and Hart ended without a decision when Sting arrived on the scene, bringing Hollywood's assault on 'The Hitman's' knee to a halt. He took over as Luger and Konnan carried Hart backstage. Later, Hart returned to the ring and, as Sting held Hogan in the Scorpion Deathlock, 'The Hitman' drilled him with a DDT, before connecting with a barrage of punches. Hogan laughed. Looks like Hart's babyface turn was a ruse.

  • From the October 5 Monday Nitro (held before a sell out crowd of 8,800 in Columbia, South Carolina): After a brawl with nWo Hollywood in the backstage area, the Wolfpac headed to the car park where Sting jumped behind the wheel of a fork lift truck which he used to dent, then turn the Hollywood limousine over. Moments later, Nash and the boys began laying into the vehicle with sledgehammers.

    After interrupting a match between Damian and Hector Garza, Eddy Guerrero delivered a monologue at the expense of Eric Bischoff and announced the formation of the LWO (Latino World Order). Damian and Garza signed up.

    Diamond Dallas Page defeated Kanyon by DQ in a thrilling match when Raven interfered. Bill Goldberg made the save. A stare down between Goldberg and Page followed.

    Finally, Sting and Bret Hart had a wild, backstage brawl.

  • From the October 12 Monday Nitro (held before a sell out crowd of 17,500 in Chicago, Illinois): In a segment, The Warrior asked Sting to team with him to face Hogan and Hart in the main event. Warrior was booed again.

    Chavo Guerrero Jr., Super Calo and Psicosis defeated La Parka, Ciclope and Villano V, following which Eddy Guerrero offered Psicosis a spot in the LWO. He accepted.

    On the heels of their argument on the previous week's Thunder, Scott Steiner nailed Marcus Bagwell and then dropped him throat first on the top rope.

    Goldberg defeated The Giant by count-out following run-ins from Stevie Ray and Dallas Page. Afterwards, Goldberg and Dallas had another stare-down.

    Finally, Sting and The Warrior downed Hollywood and 'The Hitman' by disqualification when the entire nWo stormed the ring.

_______________________________________

Jim Neidhart, 43, was arrested by police on an outstanding warrant for writing a bad cheque to a Publix supermarket in 1996 on the morning of September 8th in Pensacola, Florida. He was released several hours later.

Taz (Peter Senerca) was arrested prior to an ECW card in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on September 12th and charged with indecent exposure and corruption of a minor following an incident at a local solarium around Noon of that day. Senerca, 31, asked a 15 year old female employee of the centre to remove her top. When she did, he is alleged to have exposed himself to her. Senerca was held at Allegheny County Jail until September 14th when he was released on bail. His preliminary hearing was scheduled for October 20th.

Scott Hall was collared by the law again on October 1st when he took one of his keys and put a seven foot long scratch down the side of a limousine outside the Diamond Mine strip club on Orlando, Florida. The driver of the vehicle caught the 39 year old Hall in the act and called the police. Hall was arrested and charged with third-degree assault and released on bail.

The Giant (Paul Wight) was charged with assault on September 9th in relation to an incident at the Marriott Hotel in Uniondale, New York on June 16th. According to witnesses, Wight, after much provocation, punched and broke the jaw of 29 year old Robert Sawyer Jr. in the hotel lobby. Wight, 27, turned himself into the authorities. He was arraigned and released on his own recognisance later that day.

Laugh, I almost choked, when I heard the news on Radio One on September 23rd. During the lunchtime Newsbeat, it was reported that Jerry Lawler had attacked Jim Carrey on the set of Man on the Moon in Los Angeles, California the previous evening; that Carrey, who is playing Kaufman in the biopic, was "badly shaken up" and had been taken to hospital for a CATSCAN; and that Carrey and his manager Eric Gold were considering taking legal action against Lawler. The story was all over the British tabloids. It was also reported in newspapers in the US and many other countries around the world. Here's what really happened on the set: after riling Lawler up all week long, Carrey spat in his face. Whether or not that was part of the script depends on whom one chooses to believe. Then, definitely unscripted, Lawler grabbed Carrey in a headlock and injured his neck. Carrey was rushed to hospital, had his scan, and left...sporting a neck brace! He was so "badly shaken up" that he was back on the set the next day, showing no ill-effects of his run-in with Lawler. Sound familiar? I'd say so. Sound like a publicity stunt? It was: a publicity stunt, designed to increase public awareness of the film. Which it did. Looks like one or two mainstream journalists and reporters - you know, those people who usually have a good laugh a wrestling's expense - have been well and truly had. Perhaps Lawler and Carrey will catch them out again in December when the Letterman incident goes before the cameras.

Recent signing Kurt Angle is making great progress in the WWF's training facility.

A campaign is under way to persuade Sky Box Office to carry WCW Pay Per View shows. If you are prepared to pay to watch these events, write and let the decision makers know.

As of October 9th, WCW Thunder is being broadcast immediately after Nitro on TNT Europe on a one-day delay.


In the Ratings

September 21st: WWF Raw is War posted a 4.0 to WCW Nitro's 3.9.
September 28th: WWF Raw is War pulled a 4.7 to WCW Nitro's 4.0.
October 5th: WWF Raw is War & WCW Nitro tied with a 4.5.
October 12th: WWF Raw is War managed a 4.8 to WCW Nitro's 4.7.

WCW Fall Brawl: War Games

We've seen some bad ones over the years: The Great American Bash '91, WrestleMania IX, Uncensored '95, WrestlePalooza '98 - the list goes on. None have been quite as ghastly, however, as Fall Brawl '98 on September 13th in Winston Salem, North Carolina. In the absence of volunteers, the straws came out. Pity him: Fin Martin drew the short one...

Once upon a time, War Games was one of the highlights of the professional wrestling calendar - an eight or ten-man struggle between two warring factions which invariably delivered at least 15 minutes of nonstop, blood-soaked action. Of course, those days are long gone: War Games has offered offered viewers little in the way of excitement since its association with Fall Brawl began in 1993. Since then, many longtime fans have been calling for WCW to scrap the mass of steel and chicken wire which descends from the ceiling each September. After this year's fiasco, the group should heed said advice and comply forthwith: It HAS to go.

Following the opening five minute period, the participants entered the cage at two minute intervals. In no particular order. What's more, the teams were irrelevant; it was every man for himself. Oh, and a pinfall or submission could occur at any time - ludicrous as it sounds. Bret Hart and Diamond Dallas Page kicked things off with some solid action which saw 'The Hitman' overwhelm his foe with punches, a choke and a backbreaker. Stevie Ray subsequently stumbled in and dragged the match down with his spineless offence. He was followed by Sting, who brought the crowd to life with his entrance and enthusiastic dive at Ray from one ring to the other. The bout then slowed, however, and grew progressively worse as Lex Luger arrived on the scene and contributed little, and dear, old Roddy Piper ran through his anachronistic eye-poke routine. The arrival of Kevin Nash revived the audience; but Hollywood Hogan was just 30 seconds (instead of two minutes) behind him. Wielding a blackjack, he knocked out Nash, Luger, Sting, Page and Piper. Ray, Hogan's only ally, then clipped Hart's injured knee and he crashed to the mat as well. At this point, no less than six wrestlers were lying flat out on the canvas. Did Hogan or Ray attempt a pinfall? Don't be silly: Ray just stood around like a spare part while Hogan legdropped Nash a few times - for a laugh or something.

Moments later, dry ice was piped into the ring and, when it had cleared, Rick 'Renegade' Williams was standing there, waving his arms around like a moron. Dry ice then filled the area again, Williams returned to his inflatable camp bed under the ring (via the trap door) and, when the mist had gone, Hogan was left clutching a Warrior robe. The real Warrior then charged down the aisle, clambered into the cage and staggered Hogan with a barrage of punches. Realising that he - and, more importantly, the buy rate for Halloween Havoc - would suffer if he hung around, Hollywood made a hasty retreat and then ran for the door, while Ray kept the face-painted wonder at bay. Once outside, The Disciple mugged the official and padlocked the door shut, whereupon The Warrior went mental. Gasping for air, the super-athletic Warrior began rattling the door and the cage and finally booted down a section of the wall. Before he could lay his hands on Hogan again, though, security intervened. Then Hogan and Warrior wandered off.

Meanwhile, back in the cage, Page blasted Stevie Ray with the Diamond Cutter and scored the pinfall, thus securing the World title shot at Halloween Havoc, as the fans looked on, stunned, no doubt wishing they'd stayed home and watched Sunday Night Heat...

One strong bout (Raven vs Perry Saturn), a couple of adequate outings and heaps of trash, topped off with a contest almost as offensive as the opprobrious Doomsday match at Uncensored '96. September 13th, 1998 was a horrible night for WCW, a night when it drove wrestling on Pay Per View to new depths, a night when it might as well have raised a big, fat finger at its own consumers and yelled, "You Suckers!". Down there with whale droppings, Fall Brawl 1998 richly deserves the title of Worst Card In The World...Ever! It will stand as the measuring stick by which all lousy cards are judged.

[I have this PPV on WCW Home Video. It took McMahon 8 years with ECW December to Dismember 2006 to put on a worse show... - KK]


FEATURE

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Issue #57, April 1999

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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

    In all the happenings from WWF Raw is War, Sunday Night Heat & In Your House XXVII...

  • From February 14 Sunday Night Heat (held Live before In Your House XXVII): Dominic DeNucci, The Iron Sheik and that madman Bob Backlund ‘trained’ Mankind for his World title match with The Rock.

    Viscera defeated Test by DQ when The Bossman ran in.

    Finally, Billy Gunn went to a non-finish with Tiger Ali Singh when Venis and Shamrock hit the ring.

  • In results from In Your House XXVII: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre (held before a sell out crowd of 19,000 in Memphis, Tennessee): Goldust defeated Bluedust in a stinker

    Bob Holly pinned Al Snow to raise the vacant Hardcore title in a passable brawl (which actually took place in the Mississippi River!)

    The Big Bossman bested Mideon in a mind-numbingly boring match-up.

    Val Venis pinned Ken Shamrock to win the Intercontinental title in another boring match, officiated by Billy Gunn.

    Chyna and Kane beat Triple H and X-Pac in a surprisingly entertaining match when Chyna pinned Triple H.

    Mankind went to a double knockout with The Rock in the best match of the night.

    And finally, Steve Austin downed Vince McMahon in a decent cage match when Paul Wight burst through the ring canvas and hurled Austin into the cage which subsequently collapsed and, consequently, Austin hit the floor. During the bout McMahon bled heavily and took a dangerous bump from the side of the cage onto a ringside table.

  • From the February 15 Raw is War (held before a sell out crowd of 13,906 in Birmingham, Alabama): With a bandage on his forehead and a brace around his neck – from the pounding he received the previous evening at In Your House XXVII: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre – Vince McMahon persuaded Commissioner Shawn Michaels to book a ladder match between World Champion Mankind and The Rock in the main event of the programme.

    Triple H and X-Pac challenged Kane and Shane McMahon to a match. After convincing X-Pac to put his European title on the line, McMahon accepted the invitation.

    Val Venis gave Ryan Shamrock the elbow.

    Kane and Shane defeated Triple H and X-Pac when McMahon pinned X-Pac, with assistance from Chyna, to become the new European Champion.

    Finally, The Rock regained the World crown from Mankind in a red hot Ladder match, following inference from ‘Big Nasty’ Paul Wight.

  • From February 21 Sunday Night Heat: Shane McMahon defeated Gillberg in less than half a minute. Ha-ha-ha.

    Viscera beat The Bossman by DQ when the Corporate ‘B’ team of Test, Kane and Shamrock jumped in.

  • From February 22 Raw is War (taped on February 16th before a sell out crowd of 8,000 in Chattanooga, Tennessee): The Public Enemy beat Gangrel and Edge by disqualification in a dreadful match when Christian ran in. Afterwards, Flyboy Rocco and Johnny Grunge were the recipients of a ‘blood bath’.

    Goldust pinned Val Venis in a non-title match with assistance from The Blue Meanie.

    Hardcore Champion Bob Holly beat Bart Gunn in a wild brawl after Steve Williams shoved Gunn off the stage – onto and through a table – and the champ scored the pin.

    The Undertaker downed Kane in an Inferno match. Afterwards, Undi’ grabbed Vince McMahon’s teddy bear (which Paul Bearer had given to him earlier in the show) and set it on fire. Vince freaked out.

  • February 28 Sunday Night Heat: The programme failed to air due to technical problems.

  • From March 1 Raw is War (held before a sell out crowd of 16,560 in Cleveland, Ohio): Jim Ross turned heel on Bart Gunn and aligned himself with ‘his boy’ Steve Williams.

    Road Dogg had a big brawl with Al Snow and Bob Holly outside the building.

    Mankind beat The Undertaker by count out. Following the decision, Undi’ attempted to chokeslam Vince McMahon, but The Big Bossman made the save.

    Finally, Austin went to a non finish with Kane when Chyna and Paul Wight interfered.

  • From the March 7 Sunday Night Heat: The Acolytes gave The Public Enemy a savage beating en route to a disqualification loss.

    Goldust and Shamrock beat Venis and Billy Gunn when Goldust pinned Venis.

    Finally, The Rock and Paul Wight argued. Steve Austin came out and nailed the champ with the Stone Cold Stunner.

  • From March 8 Raw is War (held before a sell out crowd of 17,000 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania): Test pinned X-Pac after Shane McMahon nailed him with the European title belt.

    In an angle, Kane threw a fireball at Triple H, but he moved and the fire hit Chyna.

    Tori (the former Terri Power) beat Luna Vachon by disqualification when Luna refused to release her choke-hold. During the match, Sable came out and showed Jerry Lawler her nude photo spread in Playboy magazine. Lawler got really excited. Afterwards, Sable attacked Tori.

    The Undertaker and the Ministry crucified The Bossman.

    In a match refereed by Wight, Mankind beat Austin by count out.


    In all the happenings from WCW Monday Nitro & SuperBrawl IX...

  • From the February 15 Monday Nitro (a truly dreadful show, held before a sell out crowd of 2,500 in Tampa, Florida): The Wolfpac destroyed Ric Flair in a field in the middle of nowhere.

    Bret Hart crushed Will Stasso, a member of the cast of MAD TV.

    Roddy Piper beat Hollywood Hogan by disqualification in a terrible match.

    Benoit and Malenko beat Mike Enos and Scotty Riggs in a tourney bout.

    Finally, Flair arrived at the arena in a truck, all beaten up, and received another pasting from the Wolfpac.

  • WCW Superbrawl IX: It's Good To Be Bad - especially if you wear red and black. Those Wolfpac boys compiled an outstanding win/loss record at SuperBrawl IX on February 21st in Oakland, California, as Fin Martin reports.

    Hot? The crowd were red-hot for the first bout of World Championship Wrestling's ninth annual SuperBrawl pay per view. But then, that's what happens when you create an issue between competitors who are over and fairly evenly matched. Everything the opening attraction of Souled Out wasn't, Disco Inferno and Booker T worked the crowd like a couple of old pros while trading one massive move after another.

    Booker T pinned Disco Inferno with the Harlem Hangover. Great opener.

    Contest number two was a peculiar one. We saw: Perry Saturn camping it up in a dress and eye-liner; Chris Jericho's crack bodyguard Ralphus waddling around in an old dear's frock and earrings; and referee Scott Dickinson playing it straight, with no explanation as to why. In the end, Saturn drilled Jericho with the Death Valley Driver. But, then, instead of making the cover, he nailed referee Dickinson with the DVD and left, thus losing the match by count out. From this, one can only conclude that Saturn enjoys wearing the dress. After all, the stipulation was that if Saturn won, Jericho would have had to don said garment. Oh, well. Each to his own...

    Kidman beat Chavo Guerrero Jr. with the shooting star press in a fairly entertaining bout.

    The odds were stacked against the combo of Robin Ethics and Dean Malenko in the closing stages of the World Tag Team Title Tournament: they had to best the much larger tandem of Curt Hennig and Barry Windham twice to raise the vacant belts. The finish was as follows: as 'The Crippler' pounded Hennig in the corner, Malenko wrapped Windham up in the Texas Cloverleaf in the centre of the ring and the big man tapped out. Prior to their second match, the final of the tourney, there was meant to be a 30 second rest period. It didn't happen: Benoit and Malenko immediately flung themselves at their opponents - which, unfortunately for them, backfired big time. As the ref attempted to separate Benoit and Hennig, Windham removed his belt, lassoed Deano and pulled back with all his might, and then flattened his foe with a clothesline and made the cover, obscuring the belt with his arm and torso. Hollow as their victory was, Curt Hennig and Barry Windham were the new Tag Team Champions.

    Elizabeth's hair or Rey Mysterio Jr.'s mask? Someone was going to lose something at the conclusion of the next match, pitting Liz's guys Kevin Nash and Scott Hall (replacing an injured Lex Luger) against Mysterio and Konnan. The second best match of the night, and a darn good one at that, the opening sequence between Hall and Mysterio could not have been better. The finish came when Liz distracted the ref (and who can blame her?) and Hall sneaked in and walloped Rey with the Outsider Edge, then dumped the semi-conscious Nash on top of him, whereupon Liz ended her conversation with the official who promptly turned around and slapped the mat three times, giving Nash and Hall the victory. When Mysterio removed his mask, that funster Kevin Nash took one look at his face and told him to put it back on...

    Scott Steiner beat Diamond Dallas Page for a hugely popular win via the Steiner Recliner. Best match of the night.

    Scott Hall pinned Roddy Piper in a pathetic, embarrassment of a match.

    Goldberg bested Bam Bam Bigelow with the jackhammer.

    Main Event time. Time for those old geezers to slug it out again. Can't say I was looking forward to it; in fact, I was dreading episode 126 of the Hollywood Hogan/Ric Flair feud: no way would the decrepit 45-year-old and the haggard gent just days away from his 50th be able to pull it off. As top-liners go, this was going to suck. Actually, it didn't. Not even slightly. It was a damn good, extremely hard-hitting, and very bloody headliner between two guys who obviously still have a lot to offer pro wrestling, whether we like it or not.

    A Great Wrestling pay per view, the best of of the five promoted thus far in 1999, the Atlanta crew certainly came through with SuperBrawl IX. No doubt the fans on hand at the Oakland Arena appreciated it, for the rip-roaring action and the outcome of the matches which, from the title tourney onwards, nearly all went the good guys' way.
    Good guys?
    Yeah. Good guys.
    Some call them bad guys. But they're good guys, really. In the current, upside-down world of WCW, the heels are the heroes.
    Kevin Nash and Hollywood Hogan have made sure of that.

  • From February 22 Monday Nitro (held before a sell out crowd of 13,900 in Sacramento, California): Booker T pinned Bret Hart in an excellent match-up to become the number one contender to the United States title.

    Hugh Morrus dropped Chris Jericho, following interference from Perry Saturn.

    Rey Mysterio Jr. cleanly pinned Kevin Nash in an entertaining match.

  • From March 1 of Monday Nitro (held before a sell out crowd of 18,600 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina): Nash and Lex Luger offered Rey Mysterio Jr. a spot in the Wolfpac. Rey wasn’t up for it, apparently.

    Kidman beat Psicosis in a good match.

    ‘Giant Killer’ Rey Mysterio Jr. pinned Bam Bam Bigelow in a decent bout. Backstage, Nash attacked Mysterio Jr.
    Then Bigelow, Raven and Hardcore Hak (James ‘Sandman’ Fullington) had a huge brawl.

    Benoit defeated ‘The Hitman’ by DQ in a fine match.

    Finally, Flair hyped up his Cage match with Hollywood Hogan at Uncensored.

  • From March 8 (held before a crowd of 11,000 in Worcester, Massachusetts): Raven went to a non-finish with Hak when Bigelow ran in. Afterwards, they brawled backstage where Raven DDT’d Hak’s head on the bonnet of Ric Flair’s limousine.

    Scott Steiner downed Booker T with the Steiner Recliner.

    Mysterio Jr. beat Scott Norton in a poor match-up.

    Bill Goldberg went to a no-contest with Ric Flair in a decent bout when the nWo/Wolfpac ran in.

_________________________________________

ECW was on the verge of closure in February due to serious cash flow problems, stemming from the expansion of the pay-per-view schedule. At press time however, the crisis appeared to be over: Paul Heyman has obtained a loan to tide his company over until the outstanding pay-per-view revenue comes through and struck a sweet deal with Buena Vista television to co-promote ECW’s pay-per-view and television shows.

Taka Michinoku may return shortly [to the ECW] – ‘on loan’ from the WWF.

Richard Wilson died of a self-inflicted gun shot on February 22nd at his home in Marietta, Georgia , following an argument with his girlfriend. He was 33. Wilson wrestled independently as Rio Lord of The Jungle, but was more famous for his disastrous tenure as Ultimate Warrior rip-off Renegade in WCW in 1995.

WCW Superbrawl IX pulled a 1.1 PPV buy-rate for a company gross of around $5.3 million.

Word is that Chris Jericho is seriously considering taking a job with the WWF when his contract expires in July. If I were him, however, I would reconsider: now, more than ever this decade, the WWF is a big man’s promotion. And if there’s one thing Jericho isn’t – it’s big...

Sting has found God.

Bret Hart is said to be most disgruntled with the manner in which he’s being booked. And who can blame him?

A WCW staffer drove his motor over Scott Hall’s foot in the car park of an Oakland area bar after the Superbrawl pay-per-view. Hall was not seriously hurt.

Mikey Whipwreck was backstage at Nitro on March 8th. Believe it or not, booker Kevin Nash had no idea who he was.

St. Valentine’s Day Massacre pulled a 1.2 pay-per-view buy rate for a company gross of $5.7 million, making it the biggest money IYH event ever.

Jerry Lawler is considering running for Mayor in his hometown of Memphis.

Shawn Michaels has split from longtime fiancée Jennifer.

Steven Regal is still trying to kick a prescription drug problem.

Road Dogg spent some time in drug rehab in February.

Dan Severn accepted his contract release and is finished with the WWF.

The Body Shop used a photograph of former two time WWWF World Champion Bruno Sammartino in its advertising campaign for Mother’s Day.

_________________________________________

Bill Goldberg appeared on NBC’s The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on February 19th. Came across damn well, too: in discussing his three year tenure with the Atlanta Falcons, his Jewish ancestry (did you know his mother was a concert violinist and his dad was a gynaecologist?), and his commitment to the fans with the large chinned chat chap, Goldberg confirmed what insiders have known all along. He’s a bright guy, with a strong sense of humour.
But our Bill wasn’t booked on Leno’s show to regale the audience with his war stories and self-depreciating gags; he was there to issue a challenge. Leno set it up, Goldberg delivered.

Leno: “This Steve Austin guy...I hear ‘Goldberg’s scared of him.’”
Goldberg: “I guess this gives me the opportunity to throw a challenge out.”
Leno (feigning surprise): “You want to throw a challenge out there?”
Goldberg: “Ever since I started, everyone’s always called me a rip off of Steve Austin. You guys and I know there’s only one Goldberg...I’ll (put up) $100,000 of my money, Austin; any time, any place. We can even (wrestle) in the back alley of the NBC studios.”
Leno: “A hundred grand! Austin, you’re a dead meat!”

As luck would have it, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve appeared on the Howard Stern radio show three days later. Naturally, the Goldberg invite came up. Austin responded with words to the effect of, ‘I’m far too busy to waste my time with someone from the minor leagues’.
Meanwhile, on the SuperBrawl IX and subsequent Nitro broadcasts, Tony Schiavone mentioned that Goldberg had issued a challenge on The Tonight Show. Only trouble was, he didn’t say who he’d issued the challenge to, for fear of legal reprisals from Titan. What’s more, Goldberg himself never acknowledged his throwing-down-the-gauntlet on WCW television (for the same reason). And by the end of the week, WCW had ditched the entire thing; it was like it never happened.
Why it happened in the first place when WCW could not legally talk about it on its own television programmes is mind-boggling to say the least.
Here’s Goldberg, the organisation’s hottest star, appearing on a highly-rated network television show to issue a challenge to a grappler who works for the opposition – a challenge that will never be answered or acknowledged on WCW TV. It’s two days before a major Pay Per View and, instead of promoting that, Goldberg, under strict orders from Eric Bischoff, is saying “How about it, Austin?”.
What a waste of time.


In the Ratings

February 15th: WWF Raw is War posted a 5.9 to WCW Nitro’s 3.9.
February 22nd: Raw is War pulled a 5.5 to Nitro’s 4.7.
March 1st: Raw is War drew a 6.3 to Nitro’s 4.3.
March 8th: Raw is War posted a 6.5 to Nitro’s 4.5.


FEATURE

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Issue #97, August 2002

Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • On the June 17th Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Oakland California), Vince McMahon reminded viewers that Steve Austin had walked out the previous week for the second time in three months. McMahon said that all attempts to persuade Austin to return had failed, and that he may be through with WWE. Soon afterwards, they implemented a storyline which gave viewers the impression that Austin was en route to the arena.

    Ric Flair announced that he was a wrestler again. That's all we need...

    Brock Lesnar pinned Booker T with assistance from the nWo to book his place in the King of the Ring Semis.

    The Rock made a surprise appearance. (it was The Rock, not Austin, who was "travelling to the arena"). 'The Great One' cut an impassioned speech in which he stressed the importance of loyalty, and instructed anyone who wasn't dedicated to the WWE "to get the F out". I think there might have been a message for Austin in there somewhere. I also think it was a little hypocritical of The Rock - whose acting career has taken priority over wrestling for more than a year now - to stand there and harp on about "loyalty" and WWE being "home".

  • In a move which sent shockwaves throughout the industry, Vince Russo was hired by WWE to work on its booking committee on June 20. Russo, who destroyed WCW with his inept and irrelevant booking, was appointed to a position just below Stephanie McMahon on the staff. The following day, Russo met with the rest of the creative crew and revealed his ideas to turn the WWE around. Rumour has it that one of them involved The Rock character developing homosexual tendencies. We can confrim that Russo's proposals were considered so unworkable or risible by his new colleagues that Vince McMahon removed him from the booking team after just one day. Russo, who has never signed a contract, remained on the WWE payroll until July 8 when he tendered his resignation and accepted a booking job with NWA: TNA.

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  • On the June 24th Raw (held before a crowd of 9,000 in Cleveland, Ohio), Vince McMahon coined WWE's new motto: Ruthless Aggression.

    Paul Heyman introduced the 2002 King of the Ring, Brock Lesnar. Lacking charisma and personality, and oblivious to all those little things that superstars do, Lesnar looked lost out there. Again, Heyman did all the talking. RVD eventually halted this boring segment by attacking 'The Next Big Thing'.

  • On the July 8th Raw (held before a crowd of 10,500 in Philadelphia), Trish Stratus & Bradshaw downed Jackie Gayda and Nowinski in the worst match of the year. Stratus and Gayda blew so many spots, so badly, the crowd booed them, and the commentators were embarrassed.

    Shawn Michaels advised Triple H, who wasn't present, to acknowledge that he was a member of the nWo or be considered an enemy of the Order.

    Jeff Hardy captured the European Title from William Regal.

  • Officials [in TNA] have made it known that, in order to cover costs, each Pay Per View must draw a minimum of 50,000 buys.

In the Ratings - RAW

June 17th: 3.9
June 24th: 3.7
July 1st: 3.6
July 8th: 3.7

Signs of The Times

You can't spell overrated without RVD - Raw, June 17
Unemployed 3:16 - Raw, June 17
Lawler's love child - Raw, June 17
Someone feed Teri - Raw, June 17
Eddie Guerrero mows my lawn - King of the Ring, June 23
Brock ate Sid Vicious - Raw, June 24
Hogan stole my tanning pills - King of the Ring, June 23.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"There's a pimple on the ass of life, Paul Heyman; a walking haemorrhoid" - Jim Ross, Raw June 10.

"They're both Canadians. I guess they have stuff in common: they're Canadians" - Tazz, making another brilliant observation, Smackdown June 13.

"I said to myself, 'Ric Flair, you may have lost a half-a-step. But you are still two steps faster than just about every superstar in that locker room'" - Ric Flair, deluding himself again, Raw June 17.

"You're pretty gullible tonight, JR. You said you believe that Flair's got one more good run in him, too."
- Jerry Lawler, Raw June 17

"Tonight I'm going to make Hulk Hogan tap faster than Mr Bo Jangles on speed" - Kurt Angle, King of the Ring June 23.

"Big Show, the nWo never told you, did they, what happened to your father?" - Goldust, imitating Darth Vader Raw, June 24

"Man, don't you know my father's dead?" - Big Show (in response).

"Big Show, I am your father" - Darth Goldust, (in response).

[In the world of wrestling, Big Show's Dad has died twice: First being Andre the Giant, second at the hands of the Big Boss Man - KK]

"An argument can be made that Billy Gunn could be the greatest tag team wrestler of all time" - Michael Cole, Smackdown July 4.

"True, true" - Tazz (in response)

FEATURE

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Letters/Questions

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Issue #99, October 2002

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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the August 19 Raw (held before a sell out crowd of 9,500 in Norfolk Virginia): The Undertaker said he was proud to be an American and was 'The American Bad Ass' again. He was then attacked by the UnAmericans. Undertaker's halfhearted selling was an insult to his assailants.

    Fozzy performed their soulless song To Kill A Stranger. Chris Jericho's vocals were about as powerful as an asthmatic ant.

    Finally, The Rock went to a non-finish with Triple H in a decent match when Shawn Michaels and Brock Lesnar ran in.

  • From the August 26 Raw (held before a crowd of 13,000 in New York, New York): Eric Bischoff introduced Jimmy Snuka to an enormous ovation. However, after they ran a touching compilation of Snuka's career highlights, Eric uttered the three words no performer wants to hear - "three minutes" - and in bounded The Island Boyz. Rosie and Jamal hammered 'The Superfly'.

    RVD beat Tommy Dreamer in a good brawl to unify the Hardcore title with the Intercontinental belt (in reality the Hardcore belt was binned).

    Lastly, Triple H pinned The Undertaker in a poor main event after Lesnar nailed the 'Taker with the Undisputed title belt. Following the decision, Stephanie McMahon announced that she had signed Lesnar to an exclusive Smackdown contract.

  • From the September 2 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin): Eric Bischoff awarded HHH the World championship. Yeah, just like that. The Game was handed Raw's version of the World crown. That WWE has two World titles again is bad enough. That Hunter didn't have to beat anyone to win the strap is straight out of the Vince Russo school of booking.

    RVD & Ric Flair beat Triple H and Chris Jericho in a passable encounter when Rob Van Dam pinned Triple H. Flair's selling here was embarrassingly bad.

  • From the September 9 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,000 in Ames, Iowa): Bischoff announced that Hot Lesbian Action was on its way. Uncle Eric may as well have added: "And the reason for that is, the muppets in charge of this company have no faith in their wrestlers and no fresh ideas for them" [Boy...does that sound familiar - KK]. Eric Bischoff introduced 'lesbians' (who were UPW wrestlers Looney Lane and Savvy). They shed most of their clothes and started getting down to it, before Bischoff decided their "three minutes" was up and brought The Island Boyz in to slaughter them. The vicious male-on-female beating was cut from Sky Sports' version of the show.

    The National Network was bombarded with complaints from angry viewers who were deeply offended by the HLA segment. TNN executives were also alarmed by the footage, and reportedly told WWE that they didn't want to see anything like that on Raw again.

    RVD won an elimination match over Big Show, Jeff Hardy and Jericho to earn a shot at Triple H's World Title at Unforgiven.

  • Jerry Lawler had cosmetic surgery on his eyes and jaw line in early September. Lawler, who turns 53 on November 29, is obviously keen to remain as youthful-looking as possible in this image-obsessed game.

  • Mike Awesome officially hit rock bottom at the September 3 Velocity taping when he did the job to Funaki.

  • Kane [Raw] wrestled on a Smackdown show on September 1 in Dallas Texas. Does anyone understand this brand extension?

In the Ratings - RAW

August 19: 4.0
August 26: 3.9
September 2: 3.6
September: 3.4 (worst in over 4 years)

Signs of The Times

Sign Sabu - Raw, August 12
Eddie Guerrero washes my dishes - Smackdown, August 15
Flair is old - Summerslam, August 25
Latino Heat has smelly feet - Summerslam, August 25
The Rock sold out - Smackdown, August 29
Why is Angle still bald? - Smackdown, September 5
Undertaker = Underseller - Smackdown, September 5

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"I didn't think Spike went out with Molly. I thought all his dates were inflatable" - Jerry Lawler, Raw August 12

"World's strongest man, eh? What was that for: weightlifting or body odour?" - Kurt Angle to Mark Henry, Smackdown August 19

"The only place you'll see two Olympians is right here on Smackown" - Michael Cole, failing to realise the Olympics exist, Smackdown August 15

"This isn't football, folks. These guys don't have pads on" - Michael Cole, stating the obvious again, Smackdown, August 15

"Stacy's trying to immerse Trish in that water. I'm sure she's somewhat buoyant, but..." - Jim Ross, Raw August 19

"He's a horrible human being" - Jim Ross on Triple H, Raw August 26

"Bubba's gonna get some wood, King" - Jim Ross, Raw August 26

"Molly is certainly not used to that" - Jerry Lawler (in response).

"A lot of guys don't realise that. That's how you win a match. You've gotta cover the man. A lot of younger competitors don't do that" - Tazz, drifting off into his own little world again, Smackdown August 29

Letters/Questions

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FEATURE

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Issue #100, November 2002

Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)


  • From the September 16 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,000 in Denver, Colorado): New wrestler Rico upset Ric Flair in a complete mess.

    Chris Jericho beat Rob Van Dam by submission in a decent match to capture the Intercontinental title for the fourth time.

    A phony women’s rights group, called the International Organisation 4 Women, demanded equality for females on Raw. Eric Bischoff in response demanded Hot Lesbian Action. Moments later, Stephanie McMahon, who was hiding among the crowd of IOW protesters, removed her disguise and booted Eric in the nuts. However, the (accidental) star of the segment was the unnamed IOW spokesperson who couldn’t keep a straight face as she delivered her idiotic lines. Afterwards a challenge was issued for the Billy and Chuck Vs. Rosey and Jamal match at Unforgiven: if Billy and Chuck won, then Bischoff would have to kiss Steph’s backside; whereas if Rosey and Jamal went over, Steph would have to tackle some HLA (neither happened, of course).

  • From the September 22 WWE Unforgiven (held before a sell out crowd of 16,000): WWE ignored the cardinal rules of pro wresting at Unforgiven in Los Angeles, California when it put The Undertaker's demands before the good of the Undisputed title, the pay-per-view and the company itself. Undertaker, who was originally scheduled to lose to Brock Lesnar by pinfall, persuaded Vince McMahon to change the ending of the main event to a non-finish. 'Taker, as the story goes, felt that he needed to be 'protected' for his rematch with Lesnar at No Mercy (there were ways of doing that while still delivering a pinfall). Ironically, in preserving his own interests, the selfish veteran almost did require protection - from the sell out crowd in the Staples Center who were furious at the double disqualification ending.

    Rob Van Dam's crack at Triple H's World crowd was the biggest match this year. On the verge of achieving genuine main event status, Van Dam might have taken that giant final step if he had pinned 'The Game' clean for the belt. But, alas, in order for RVD to rise, Hunter had to fall, and that wasn't an option. Worse, Van Dam lost after Flair ran in and 'shockingly' turned on him following a ref bump. Yawn. Flair started 2002 as a babyface, then went heel, then turned babyface, and is now a villain again.

  • From the September 23 Raw (held before a crowd of 9,000 in Anaheim, California): The Bisch announced that Vince McMahon had frozen all WWE performers’ contracts. Hence, there can be no further movement of talent between Raw and Smackdown!, unless it’s an official trade authorised by both Bischoff and Steph. The Bisch revealed that he’d managed to raid two more guys before the contract freeze cam into effect.

    New Raw man Randy Orton beat Steven Richards in a passable match bereft of crowd heat.

    Kane and The Hurricane downed Lance Storm and Christian in a fair match to capture the World Tag Team title.

  • From the September 30 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Houston, Texas): Trouble in The Un-American camp: Storm and Christian argued over who was to blame for their loss the previous week.

    Trish Stratus beat Victoria by disqualification in a good match when Vic nailed her with a chair shot. This was a great effort by both women...

    Kane downed Jericho to win the Intercontinental title.

  • From the October 7 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in Las Vegas, Nevada): It was the Raw Roulette Wheel show - an evening of gimmick matches, all selected at random (hey, would they lie to us?) by Bischoff's wonder wheel. These ranged from the silly (the dress in drag Las Vegas Showgirl match in which William Regal beat Goldust) to the outstanding (the TLC match in which Kane retained the Tag Team title against Bubba Ray Dudley and Spike, Jericho and Christian, and RVD and Jeff Hardy).

    After the TLC clash, Triple H came out and accused Kane of killing a woman ten years ago.

  • Vince McMahon opened secret negotiations with Lennox Lewis' representatives last month. McMahon would like Lewis, the World Heavyweight Boxing Champion, to participate in an angle with Brock Lesnar early next year.

  • Vince McMahon mentioned at a recent stockholders' meeting that he would like to revive Extreme Championship Wrestling, complete with a weekly television show. McMahon didn't say when he might do this. I would be amazed if he ever did...

  • Shawn Michaels is saying he has one more match left in him, and that match will probably be at WrestleMania XIX...

  • During a September 30 appearance on Florida's Bubba The Love Sponge radio show, Hollywood Hulk Hogan stated that his WWE contract had expired and he was working on a handshake agreement with Vince McMahon. In truth, Hogan is under contract to WWE until February 2003. He's telling friends that he's in no hurry to return to WWE. Knowing Hogan, that probably means he can't wait to come back...

  • Ted Petty, who wrestled as Rocco Rock (The Public Enemy), died of a heart attack on September 21 at the age of 49.

  • In recent happenings from TNA...

    Week 14: B.G. James downed Jeff Jarrett by disqualification in the main event when everyone ran in.

    Week 15 (October 2): Jerry Lynn beat AJ Styles on a reverse decision in a thrilling Ladder match. This set up ANOTHER Ladder bout between the two on the October 9 show (an abundance of gimmick matches is always a sign that a promotion doesn't know what to do next).

    Syxx-Pac and B.G. James defeated Jeff Jarrett & Brian Lawler in a crap main event. Ron Killings ran in to help Jarrett and Lawler batter 'Pac & James afterwards.

In the Ratings - RAW

September 16: 3.4
September 23: 3.6
September 30: 3.6
October 7: 3.8

Signs of The Times

Brock took my beer money - Smackdown, September 5
Push Spike - Raw, September 16
Latino Heat sold me oranges - Smackdown, September 19
I miss WCW Nitro - Raw, September 23
Hopefully HHH is in every segment - Raw, September 23
They took my sign again! - Raw, September 23
Eddie moed (sic) my lawn - Smackdown, September 26
Tazz can't add - Raw, September 30

Know Your...Wrestling Euphemisms

What wrestling people really mean when they say...

"This is an unorthodox idea" - This idea doesn't make any sense.
"Oh, no! It was a set up all along!" - The bookers don't have a clue what to do next, so they're turning everyone.
"There's no wasted motion in this match!" - The wrestlers in this match don't know how to work the crowd.
"He's a methodical competitor" - He's a boring competitor.
"He's the very best in the business" - He's knocking off the boss' daughter.
"Everyone knows I'm a straight shooter" - I lie habitually.
"Vince McMahon is a genius" - Please, WWE, give me a job!!!
"Vince Russo is a genius" - Russo tells me I'm in line for a push
"Our organisation features the greatest collection of talent under one roof in the history of the business" - We've just hired a bunch of washed-up veterans.
"This kid has tremendous potential" - This kid is doing the job.
"That kid doesn't know how to work" - Damn! That youngster is better than me.
"I have absolutely no problem putting anyone in the company over under the right circumstances" - I'm not doing any more jobs.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"I knew Stacy Keibler was a lesbian when she wouldn't go out with me" - Jerry Lawler, Raw September 9th.

"I am the greatest World champion there has ever been. And the reason is: I've got it all" - Triple H, Raw September 16.

"You've lost it, Flair. If this is the way you're gonna be, why don't you do everybody a favour: give it up, retire. The Ric Flair I see before me now is pathetic" - Triple H, summing up the Flair situation perfectly, Raw September 16.

"Keep in mind, Brock Lesnar has all the accolades: He's a two time Big Ten champion, he's a..." - Michael Cole, boring us senseless once again with that irrelevant crap, Smackdown September 19.

"I don't have a tattoo on my back. What are you looking at my back for anyway, you dirty old man?" - Jim Ross to Jerry 'Albert Steptoe' Lawler, Raw September 23.

"I'm tired of hearing him, and I'm tired of seeing him: this is not the Triple H show." - Bubba Ray Dudley, Raw September 23.

"A '6' and a '9'. What's that: 14?" - Tazz, demonstrating his genius again, Smackdown September 26.

"A lot of 'Es' in this match: Edge, Eddie, Edge, Eddie..." - Tazz, Smackdown September 26.

FEATURE

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Issue #101, December 2002

Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)


  • From the October 14 Raw (held before a crowd of 10,500 in Montreal, Canada): Chris Jericho and Christian defeated Kane and The Hurricane in a nothing match to win the World Tag Team title.

    Kane denied the accusation made by Triple H that he murdered a woman in 1992. According to 'The Red Machine', the female in question, Katie Vick, was killed in a car accident when they were returning home from a party. It happened when Kane, who was driving, swerved to avoid an animal and ran their car off the road. Poor Katie was killed instantly. Aww. Devised by a dimwit (Kevin Dunn) and approved by a muppet (Vince McMahon), this story line then leapt to the top of wrestling's all-time worst list when Triple H came out and accused Kane of being drunk when he was driving the vehicle, and raping Katie after she had thrown a seven.

    Christopher Nowinski returned and defeated Tommy Dreamer in a terrible match.

    Triple H pinned Rob Van Dam again in a lame Lumberjack match.

  • From the October 21 Raw (held before a crowd of 5,000 in Nashville, Tennessee): Triple H claimed to have videotape evidence which would prove that Kane had sex with Katie Vick's corpse.

    Test beat the worthless D-Lo Brown with help from special referee Stacy Keibler. Afterwards, Keibler threw herself at Test.

    HHH's video aired. It featured Triple H, crudely disguised as Kane, entering a chapel of rest and approaching a coffin which contained the body of Katie Vick (a manikin, of course). Tripper undressed Miss Vick and then disrobed and hopped on board for a spot of necrophilia. Fortunately for UK viewers, Sky Sports 1 cut most of this segment.

    The Big Show hammered Rosey and Jamal and Rico in a handicap match. Afterwards, Eric Bischoff announced that Show was through with Raw and was now the property of Smackdown!

    Kane and RVD defeated Triple H and Ric Flair in a poor main event when Van Dam pinned Flair.

  • From the October 28 Raw (held before a crowd of 9,000 in Detroit, Michigan): Bischoff announced that Triple H and Kane would settle their rotten feud in a non-title Casket match.

    Test's "marketing person" Stacy announced that Test's fans would henceforth be known as "Testicles".

    Kane beat Triple H in a mediocre Casket match with help from Shawn Michaels.

  • From the November 4 Raw (held before a crowd of 9,000 in Boston, Massachusetts): Uncle Eric seemed repulsed that he had kissed Stephanie on Smackdown! Triple H was concerned about the connection...

    The Dave Batista push began. He hammered Justin Credible.

    Maven returned and attacked Nowinski.

  • WWE received a record number of complaints about the simulated necrophilia angle on the October 21 Raw. While planning and filming the segment, the creative department was fully expecting that reaction. Bigwigs were also expecting the mainstream media to jump all over the skit. A publicity-seeking exercise, you might say. And one which failed miserably. The mainstream completely ignored WWE's rotten little angle.

    Triple H provided colour commentary on the Mr. Olympia pay per view on October 19. Triple H is a huge fan of competition bodybuilders, and supposedly has framed photos of them all around his mansion...

  • WWE's only house show sell-outs of the month were in the UK (Belfast and Sheffield)

  • Randy Orton is out until February due to a separated shoulder.

  • Stephanie McMahon talked WWE, breast implants and sex (naturally) on the Howard Stern show on October 17. Steph, 26, stated that WWE business was down because the economy was down. [They're still using that excuse today... - KK] Quizzed about her silicon implants, Miss McMahon revealed she went under the cosmetic surgeon's knife because her natural knockers looked like, and I quote, "melted packets of butter" (how poetic).

  • Scott Steiner signed a big money contract in late October. Rumour has it that he will be pushed into the main event picture (on Raw, most likely) as soon as he arrives on television. Steiner's buddy Terry Taylor was rehired in October. He is working as a road agent for the Raw team.

  • In recent happenings from TNA...

    Panda Energy, an international firm based in Dallas, Texas, purchased the majority share of NWA:TNA from Jerry and Jeff Jarrett in late October. The organisation - which has lost in excess of $20,000 on every show it's promoted since July - would have folded before the end of the year had the buy-out not occurred. The Jarretts have retained a minority interest in NWA:TNA, and dear, old Jerry will stay on as booker. Vince Russo, who was working as Jarrett's assistant before the buy out, is no longer with the company.

    The new financial backing from Panda has allowed NWA:TNA to upgrade its production values, but the real problems remain. The group is short on fresh ideas, still lacks an identity and has no long term direction [Well, good to see things have changed in 8 years... - KK]

    Curt Kennig made his debut on October 9 in a six man match. That same night, Syxx-Pac won the X Title in a Ladder Battle Royal.

    NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler teamed with B.G. James (the washed-up lard arse formerly known as Road Dogg) to beat Jeff Jarrett and Bruce in a terrible match on the October 16 show. NWA: TNA sponsors Sadler's race car. For some reason they think that gives them the right to book this bland and wimpy looking non-wrestler in the ring.

In the Ratings - RAW

October 14: 3.9
October 21: 3.7
October 28: 3.45
November 4: 3.5

Signs of The Times

I paid 2K for HLA - Raw, October 7
Viva lost wages - Raw, October 7
Undertaker needs new music - Smackdown, October 10
Triple H is a liar - Raw, October 14
Kane is a murderer - Raw, October 14
Hollywood Hulk Huggins - Raw, October 21
More HHH please - Raw, October 21
Not another Big Show push - Smackdown, October 31

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"She has flexibility, don't she?" - Jim Ross on Stacy Keibler, Raw October 17

"Is that all you're noticing: her flexibility? J.R, if Lady Godivah rode by here, all you'd talk about is the horse" - Jerry Lawler (in response)

"Where are we? Phoenix...that's right." - Tazz, on the ball as always, Smackdown October 10.

"How could you, Mark? For three months, you have lied to me and slept with me. And now I find out you're married, and your wife is pregnant. You bastard!" - Tracy, delivering poor quality lines poorly, Smackdown October 10.

"They speak French over there in Montreal, Quebec. You know that?" - Tazz, Smackdown October 10.

"William Regal, you certainly seemed at home in that female attire last week." - Jim Ross to Blackpool's finest, Raw October 14.

"How bloody dare you!" - Mr Regal (in response)

"I'll do anything to get my chance...unlike Trish Stratus, who will 'do' anyone" - Victoria, Raw October 14.

"Between Katie Vick and semen, I'm having a hell of a time focussing on this match, thanks to you" - Jim Ross to Jerry 'Sex Angles Rule' Lawler (or possibly Kevin Dunn), No Mercy October 20.

"I do what I want to do to when I want to do it, and there is not a damn thing anyone can do about it." - Triple H, Raw October 21.

"Because Rebellion is the very first Smackdown!-only pay per view, we wanted to make it the best pay per view of the year." - Stephanie McMahon, having a laugh at out expense (quite literally), Rebellion, October 26.

"Cole: has the UK area, the neighbourhood the UK as they call it...have they ever won any gold medals in anything?" - Tazz, Rebellion, October 26

FEATURE

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Issue #102, January 2003

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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • On the November 11 Raw (held before a crowd of 6,000 in Cincinnati, Ohio): Ric Flair seemed very interested in managing Batista. The big man hammered D-Lo Brown in 90 seconds.

    Triple H pinned Booker T with assistance from Flair. Afterwards, Chris Jericho, RVD, Kane & Shawn Michaels ran in for a big brawl to set up the Elimination Chamber match.

  • On the November 14 Smackdown! (taped on November 12 before a crowd of 6,000 in Columbus, Ohio): Al Wilson and Dawn Marie were discussing arrangements for their forthcoming wedding. (Al proposed to Dawn on the previous week's Smackdown!). I used to think Marie and Torrie Wilson - the other star of these segments had a modicum of acting ability. Now I realise I was wrong...

    Eddie Guerrero pinned Rey Mysterio Jr. in an excellent match.

    Brock Lesnar had a confrontation with The Big Show which ended when Lesnar nailed Show with several evil chair shots.

  • On the November 18 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Bridgeport, Connecticut): Scott Steiner cut a promo. Jericho interrupted him. He paid for that later...

    Christopher Nowinski beat Al Snow in an unusual brawl which featured such props as a skeleton, a dunce cap and a bowling ball.

    Eric Bischoff welcomed Val Venis/The Big Valbowski to Raw. Venis stated that he had changed his name.

    Batista attacked Kane from behind and left him laying.

    Lastly, RVD won a mediocre Triple Threat match over Jericho and Booker T, following interference from Steiner, to become the number one contender to the World Title. After, Michaels came out and shook hands with Van Dam.

  • On the November 25 Raw (held before a crowd of 6,500 in North Charleston, South Carolina): Sean Morley, formerly Val Venis, was named Eric Bischoff's new Chief of Staff.

    Lance Storm and William Regal 0 a/k/a Wrestling's Most Boring Team - beat The Hurricane and Jeff Hardy in a worthless match.

    Batista pinned Kane with help from Flair.

    It was explained that Big Show was traded to Smackdown! in exchange for Ivory, D-Von Dudley, Maven and Morley.

    And, Michaels went to a non-finish with Van Dam when - WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? - Triple H ran in and destroyed absolutely everyone.

  • On the November 28 Smackdown! (taped on November 26 before a crowd of 5,000 in Columbia, South Carolina): Ernest Miller replaced Tazz in the colour commentators chair for the evening. I was hoping this would, at least, provide some nutty material for "If I Can Be Serious For a Minute..." But, instead, 'The Cat just listlessly mumbled his way through the broadcast. His clichéd and unintelligible performance was so bad, I was longing for the return of Art Donovan.

    Bull Buchanan was renamed B Squared. He is associated with John 'What The Hell Happened to My Career?' Cena.

    Finally, as Big Show was about to choke-slam that promising up-and-comer Fabulous Moolah, Lesnar ran in again and F-5'd him through the announcers' table.

  • On the December 2 Raw (held before a crowd of 5,500 in Austin, Texas): The Dudley Boyz defeated 3 Minute Warning in a poor match. Following the decision, Jericho and Christian helped Rosey and Jamal batter Bubba Ray and D-Von.

    Sean Morley was renamed Chief Morley.

    Jacqueline pinned Victoria in a non-title match.

    Lastly, HHH pinned Rob Van Dam - YET AGAIN - in a match refereed by Michaels. That the babyface couldn't defeat the heel with a babyface referee assisting him tells you all you need to know WWE's thoughts on Van Dam's top-line suitability and its obsession with relentlessly pushing Triple H at the expense of everyone else in the company.


    In all the happenings from NWA: TNA...

    Jerry Lynn regained the X title from A.J Styles in a superb bout on November 6. As far as match quality goes, these two may have had the Feud of the Year.

    B.G. James referred to Lenny Lane as a "******" on the November 20 event. What a step forward (he writes sarcastically). Nothing like reinforcing those redneck stereotypes. What's James' next trick: using the "N"-word to describe Ron Killings?

    Bruce, another gay character, apparently turned heterosexual on November 20. April was responsible for changing his sexual persuasion.

    Jeff Jarrett captured the NWA title from Ron Killings in a really good match on November 20 after Vince Russo, was was disguised as Mr. Wrestling III, drilled Killings with a guitar.

    Sean Waltman quit the company after Russo returned. According to NWA management, Russo is not employed as a booker/booking assistant - only as an on-screen performer. Waltman disputes that, and that's why he quit. We also have reason to believe that Russo is heavily involved in the 'creative' department. On November 27, he uttered several 'shoot' comments, swore repeatedly and, in classic Russo fashion, made very little sense. Shock TV lives on - in NWA: TNA.

_______________________________

The World Wildlife Fund/Worldwide Fund for Nature is threatening legal action against WWFE again. Not satisfied with the name change, the Fund is saying it wants damages for the wrestling company's illegal usage of the WWF initials. The good news is, the Fund is prepared to settle out of court - for the sum of $90 million. How the panda people arrived at that figure, I do not know...

Steve 'Austin' Williams managed to avoid a prison term by pleading no-contest to the charge of assaulting his wife Debra. Williams - who was arrested following the couple's much-publicised bust up in June - entered the plea during a November 25 pre-trial hearing at Bexar County Court in San Antonio, Texas. The 38 year old former World champion was fined $1,000 and placed on probation for one year. He will also have to carry out 80 hours of community service, undergo domestic counselling and refrain from drinking alcohol for 12 months.

WWE Anthology is now available in the UK. The 86-track set was due for release on December 16.

Triple H suffered breathing difficulties after Rob Van Dam accidentally struck him in the throat with his knee while performing a frog splash in the Elimination Chamber. Hunter spent the night in hospital, but was released the following afternoon.

Booker T, Lance Storm, William Regal, D-Lo Brown, Rob Van Dam, Steven Richards, Al Snow and others went down with sickness and/or diarrhoea either during or while returning from the tour of India.

Rey Mysterio Jr. is recovering from arthroscopic knee surgery.

Kurt Angle was set to undergo arthroscopic knee surgery after Armageddon (which will pin him to the sidelines until Royal Rumble).

The Undertaker's wife Sara gave birth to a girl on November 22. Seems the official story that Undi' had to withdraw from Rebellion on October 26 because Sara was ready to drop was total bollocks...

Remember the Stephanie/Eric Bischoff kiss on the October 31 Smackdown!? Well, forget it: that story line has been dropped.

Jim Ross was visible during a backstage segment on the November 21 Smackdown! Stupid mistakes like that are now unfortunately happening with alarming regularity in WWE.

Perry Saturn and Diamond Dallas Page have been released from their contracts.

Kurt Angle's wife Karen gave birth to a girl on November 25.

Vince McMahon has privately admitted that the Katie Vick saga bombed.

Triple H twice called a halt to his November 9 house show match in Philadelphia. First time, when a fight broke out in the crowd; second, when a woman in the front row began yelling at him. On each occasion, HHH complained over the house mike.

After declaring a money-losing financial quarter (August to October) last month, WWFE is again under pressure to cut costs.

WWFE Classics has been replaced by NWA/WCW Worldwide on Sky Sports 1 because WWE is no longer allowed to air any footage which includes the WWF initials.

In the Ratings - RAW

November 11: A terrible 3.1.
November 18: 3.7
November 25: 3.4
December 2: 3.3

Signs of The Times

I'm a huge testicle - Raw, November 11.
Test has no testicles - Raw, November 11.
Kane digs dead chicks - Raw, November 11.
A.J. Styles is God - Raw, November 11.
Big Poppa Boner - Survivor Series, November 17.
Scott Steiner = drug-free athlete - Raw, November 18.
Raw is worse than Nitro - Raw, November 25.
Brock, U are a pansy - Smackdown!, November 28.
I came to see Tommy Dreamer - Raw, December 2.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"Booker, you might have been a five-time WCW champion. But that was then, and this is now. And the fact is right now, buddy, you can't even hold my jock." - Triple H to Booker T, Raw November 4.

"I think failure has gone to his head" - Jerry Lawler on Al Snow, Raw November 4.

"Let me tell you this: in this arena, I'm God!" - Triple H, Raw November 11.

"Come on Jeff, God damn it!" - A furious Rico to Jeff Hardy after he forgot to knock Rico off the ropes in their match, Survivor Series.

"(Jamie) Noble's got something up his sleeve here; but he has no shirt on, so he has no sleeves." - Tazz, Survivor Series

"Where is this going, King?" - Jim Ross on the painfully lame segment involving Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy, Survivor Series.

"I don't know, but I wish it would hurry up and get there," - Jerry Lawler (in response).

"Give me a strawberry floating mike!" - Scott Steiner's first words before a crowd as a WWE employee, Survivor Series November 17.

"You should be worried that Raw will be minus Triple H tonight. Let's see you produce Raw without 'The Game'" - Ric Flair to Eric Bischoff, Raw November 18.

"Raw without The 'Game'?" - Jim Ross (in response).

"Can that happen? Is it possible?" - Jerry Lawler (in response to that).

"Al Wilson's so old that instead of renting a limo for his wedding, he's gonna rent a stagecoach." - Tazz, Smackdown November 21.

"Triple H has ruined this title match! Bastard!" - Jim Ross, Raw November 25.

"For those of you who don't know, I am Vince Russo, and I am the Antichrist of professional wrestling. I've kept a low profile for two years. But I figured before this business gets any deeper in the shitter, Vince Russo better come back" - Vince Russo, NWA: TNA November 27.

"This product sucks, WWE sucks, and Vince Russo is here to save the day once again." - Vince Russo, NWA: TNA November 27.

"I want you all to realise that I didn't screw Brock Lesnar: Brock Lesnar screwed Brock Lesnar. Brock, you're suspended!" - Stephanie McMahon, making the weekly reference to the Survivor Series '97 double cross, Smackdown November 28.

FEATURE

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Issue #103, February 2003

Quote:
Image

In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the December 23 Raw (tape on December 21 before a crowd of 9,000 in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma): The new look D-Lo Brown lost to Natural Born Thriller Test by disqualification after he pushed the referee. Brown, who now believes WWE officials are racist, was dressed like Konnan.

    Eric Bischoff and Chief Morley informed Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler that they would be wrestling in the main event.

    Scott Steiner beat Triple H in an arm wrestling match. Then he beat him again. And again. This was a killer angle.

    Finally, Ross and Lawler defeated Lance Storm and William Regal with help from The Dudley Boyz.

  • From the January 2nd Smackdown (held before a sell out crowd of 8,000 in Albuquerque, New Mexico): They promoted The Undertaker's Royal Rumble return by airing spooky footage of him as 'The Phenom'. Strangely, though, The 'Taker was scheduled to return as 'The American Bad Ass'. I can't explain why WWE would mislead its viewers in this fashion - it makes no sense.

    Dawn Marie 'married' Al Wilson. This segment was as badly written and poorly acted as all the others involving Marie and Al (and Torrie Wilson).

    Lesnar crushed Matt Hardy.

  • From the January 6 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in Phoenix, Arizona): As a punishment for interfering in the Storm/Regal vs. Ross/Lawler match two weeks earlier, Bischoff and Morley had 3 Minute Warning, Rico and Batista batter Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley.

    Storm and Regal beat Booker T and Goldust to capture the World tag team title in a good match, with help from Morley.

    Finally, HHH beat 'Big Poppa Pump' in a Pose Down Challenge when all six judges selected from the audience - whom HHH had supposedly bribed - voted for 'The Game'. Not surprisingly, Steiner pounded the judges. (who just happened to be independent wrestlers) afterwards.

  • From the January 9 Smackdown (taped on January 7 before a crowd of 5,000 in Tucson, Arizona): Poor Al Wilson was unable to keep up with Dawn Marie's sexual demands and, by the end of the show, had been quite literally 'shagged to death'.

  • And from the January 13 Raw (held before a crowd of 6,000 in Uncasville, Connecticut): In his big comeback on Raw, Raven lost to Jeff Hardy in a terrible match.

    Vince McMahon returned. He told Bischoff that he wasn't happy with Raw (but then, who is?). Vince demanded that Bischoff improve the programme within 30 days or he would appoint a new General Manager. Shane McMahon then entered the picture. The Bisch got the message.

    ______________________________________

  • Triple H suffered a partially torn muscle in his right thigh on December 9. The injury hindered 'The Game' for around four weeks.

  • Bill Goldberg met Vince McMahon for the first time on January 8 in Los Angeles, California. Goldberg and McMahon discussed several different deals and scenarios - which included a match with The Rock at WrestleMania XIX on March 30. Although Goldberg has yet to commit himself to WWE at time of writing, everyone involved was confident that an agreement would be reached and that his proposed bout with The Rock at 'Mania would go ahead. Speaking of The Rock: he is scheduled to return in mid February as a heel.

  • Bill Goldberg stated in a radio interview before his meeting with McMahon that he would like to work with Rock, Steve Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle in WWE. No, Triple H is not on his list. However, Goldberg did say that if 'The Game' attempted to cause any problems for him in WWE, he would know how to handle the situation.

  • Jim Ross' Ross Report is no more. Ross was ordered to discontinue his weekly column because it was upsetting certain WWE wrestlers and staff and was divulging too much "inside information". That's the story, anyway...

  • Kevin Nash hopes to return to action at WrestleMania XIX. Oh, goody...

  • WWE is said to be impressed with Gail Kim, who started working house shows last month.

  • Bret Hart met with Vince McMahon at McMahon's holiday home in Boca Raton, Florida before Christmas. The two men finally buried the hatchet.

  • Dustin 'Goldust' Runnels married his girlfriend Milena on December 18.

  • Hulk Hogan's autobiography should definitely be stocked in the "Fiction" section of bookshops...

  • None of the women are actually undressed on the new Divas Undressed video and DVD.

  • In recent happenings from NWA: TNA...

    The weekly events are now being broadcast on Star World - which serves the Far East, the Middle East and India - and Main Event, a pay per view channel in Australia.

    Curt Hennig claimed he was 35 years of age in an interview on the December 4 show. I'm sure Hennig wishes he was 35: In truth, he turns 45 on March 28.

    Roddy Piper made an unadvertised appearance on December 4. He cut a confusing and tasteless promo, in which he blamed the death of Owen Hart in May 1999 on Vince Russo and his style of sports entertainment. Russo came out, with Ron and Don Harris, and had a standoff with Piper. Piper later claimed this was a "shoot". It wasn't...

    Dusty Rhodes made his NWA: TNA debut on January 8.

    Hennig had a horrible match with David Flair on January 8 and may be through with the company.

    William 'Percy Pringle' Moody - alias Paul Bearer - and Mike Sanders are now regulars with the group.


In the Ratings - RAW

December 23: 3.24
December 30: 2.8
January 6: 3.6
January 13: 3.9

Signs of The Times

Nidia likes truck stops - Smackdown, December 5
Big Show + blonde wig = Anna Nicole Smith - Smackdown, December 5
We got these seats free - Armageddon, December 15
Eddie mows his hair - Smackdown, December 19
Flair, go home. Nobody cares - Raw, December 23
Stop saying What - Smackdown, January 2
HHH, spit here - Raw, January 13
Spike is really sexy - Raw, January 13

Know Your Wrestling Euphemisms 2

"This is not in the script" - This is in the script.

"Look at this man. He's in the best shape of his career." - This guy looks terrible.

"I'm loyal to the company" - 1. I am under a long-term contract. 2. No one else will have me.

"I am no longer interested in winning the World title: I would much rather enjoy myself, and help create new stars" - My last World title reign was such a disaster that they've told me in no uncertain terms that I'm never having another.

"This guy is a tremendous athlete." - This guy has no charisma and is not over.

"How are you qualified to judge wrestling? When have you ever wrestled?" - I am a bitter and twisted grappler with no 'look' and a piss poor ring style, who has achieved little, will achieve even less in the future, and am so narrow-minded and thin- skinned that I lash out at any and all forms of criticism, no matter how well-deserved it may be.

"Let me tell you something - and this is a shoot!" - This is another lie.

"I'm going to squash you in this match, yes. But, because I'M a top guy and you're NOT, you will be elevated just by being in the ring with me." - My name is Triple H. And your push is over.

"Things were much better in the 1980s." - I was much better in the 1980s.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"If this was boxing, Chavo Guerrero would definitely be ahead on points." - Michael Cole, Smackdown December 5.

"But it's not boxing, Cole" - Tazz (in response)

"Thanks. That's why you're a colour analyst." - Michael Cole (in response to that).

"You change your mind more than an old lady." - Jim Ross on Jerry Lawler, Armageddon December 15.

"Scott Steiner is nothing but a jacked-up piece of trash." - All-natural athlete Triple H, Raw December 16.

"I'm going to introduce a man to you to whom we owe a tremendous amount of gratitude. A man who has done more for this industry than anyone else alive. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you the World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H!" - Eric Bischoff, Raw December 16.

"Even a red carpet is not good enough for a man of Triple H's stature" - Jerry Lawler, Raw December 16.

"It's hard to be humble when you're Triple H" - Triple H, Raw December 16.

"If (Eric Bischoff) would worry more about business instead of ruining people's lives and humiliating people, we'd have a better television show, I guarantee ya'" - Jim Ross, identifying one of WWE's genuine problems, Raw December 23.

"It appears that my announce team is taking their jobs for granted J.R., need I remind you that I have Tony Schiavone's number in my speed dial." - Eric Bischoff, delivering another inside line that was lost on the masses, Raw December 23.

"Rikishi, backing that big bum up. Bum means, like, butt. Get it?" - Tazz, generously sharing his knowledge of British culture with his compatriots, Smackdown January 2.

"Triple H has intimidated a lot of men in this business, but he's not going to intimidate 'Big Poppa Pump'." - Jerry Lawler, making a valid point for once, Raw January 6.

"I am here to save this business. This business is at an all-time low...Evolutuon is the solution." - Vince Russo, seeing the light at last, NWA: TNA January 8.

2002 PowerSlam Reader Awards

Wrestler of the Year - Kurt Angle

Match of the Year - Shawn Michaels Vs Triple H (Summerslam, August 25)

Feud of the Year - Kurt Angle Vs Edge

Babyface of the Year - Rob Van Dam

Heel of the Year - Kurt Angle

Character of the Year - Kurt Angle

Most Abysmal Wrestler of the Year - Big Show

Most Abysmal Match of the Year - Trish Stratus & Bradshaw Vs. Jackie Gayda and Chris Nowinski (Raw, July 8)

Commentator of the Year - Jim Ross

Card of the Year - WWE Summerslam

2002 Year In Review

January

  • The WWF did a fabulous job of promoting Triple H's return to television on the January 7 Raw. The 13, 811 fans at Madison Square Garden almost shook the roof off when 'The Game' hit the ring.

  • There was an outcry from PowerSlam readers when Royal Rumble was broadcast on Sky Box Office at a cost of £14.00.

  • The WWF signed Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall to mega-money contracts. In response to claims that the three veterans would be a bad influence on locker room morale and the promotion in general, WWF spin doctors, led by Jim Ross, arrogantly stated that the grief they previously caused in WCW was due to gutless management.

  • Edge was trapped in a dreary feud with the awkward, bumbling, clumsy William Regal.

  • It was revealed that the legendary manager Bobby Heenan had been diagnosed with throat cancer.

February

  • February 5, his very first night on the job, Scott Hall got hammered and made a complete idiot of himself and those who hired him. Nevertheless, WWF management continued making excuses for Hall - until they fired him on May 7.

  • The new nWo made its on-screen WWF debut at No Way Out on February 17. Thanks to the novelty of Hogan, Hall and Nash being together for the first time in Order colours on WWF turf, the supercard was a solid financial success. In the squared circle however, No Way Out was one of the worst pay-per-views of the year.

March

  • Due to sagging business, the WWF 'asked' each of its rank-and-file performers to take a $25,000 per annum pay cut. Not surprisingly, no one refused. Equally predictably, the main eventers - who probably wouldn't have missed the cash - were not 'asked' to make a sacrifice for the good of the company.

  • Bret Hart was invited by Vince McMahon to make an appearance at WrestleMania X8. 'The Hitman' declined the offer.

  • Hollywood Hulk Hogan made The Rock look foolish by deliberately turning the crowd against him in their memorable WrestleMania outing. Rock won, by the way. There was nothing else of interest on the show.

  • Kevin Nash almost started crying when The Rock called him "Big Daddy Bitch" on Raw. That line wasn't in the script.

  • The WWF held the long awaited Draft on March 25. On that same Raw show, Stephanie McMahon lost a Loser-Leaves-The-WWF-Forever match. Yes, they lied to us. Again.

April

  • The Scorpion King, starring The Rock, proved to be a sizeable hit and the perfect vehicle for the affable Mr Johnson, who received glowing reviews.

  • Undisputed Champion Triple H did a rare television job to Hollywood Hulk Hogan in a passable match at Backlash. The decision to put the title on Hogan was made only hours before the show. It was one they would regret later...

  • The legendary Lou Thesz passed away on April 28 at the age of 86.

May

  • Bill Goldberg became a free agent on May 1 when AOL Time Warner bought him out of his contract.

  • The WWF officially became WWE on May 5 after losing its court battle with the World Wildlife Fund. According to judge Sir Robert Carnwath, the McMahon-owned wrestling company had committed "clear and repeated breaches" of its 1994 agreement with the Wildlife Fund.

  • The Plane Ride From Hell was perhaps the funniest story of the year. So many of the WWE wrestlers and staff were so utterly plastered on their chartered flight back to the States following Insurrextion that anarchy ensued. In what was described as the highlight of the journey, Sean Waltman cut off Michael Hayes' hideous mullet while he slept.

  • The Undertake captured the Undisputed title from Hulk Hogan in a terrible match at Judgment Day.

  • Convinced they were onto a winning new character, WWE's booking squad forced Tommy 'The Freak' Dreamer to eat hair, second-hand chewing tobacco and hot dogs which had been on the floor.

  • Robin Ethics returned to television on May 27 - showing even less fire and charisma than he did before his neck injury.

  • Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda won Tough Enough 2 on May 30.

June

  • Fed up with the "piss poor" booking, as he called it, and furious that management would even ask him to lose to the then clueless Brock Lesnar, Steve Austin walked out of WWE on June 10. Five days later, 'The Rattlesnake' was in the news again for beating up his wife Debra.

  • Diamond Dallas Page retired on June 11.

  • NWA: TNA staged its first pay per view on June 19. Ken Shamrock captured the vacant NWA World title in the main event.

  • Vince Russo was rehired to work on WWE's booking committee on June 20. After listening to Russo's ideas, Vince McMahon sacked him for the booking committee the next day.

  • Brock Lesnar won a rubbish King of the Ring tournament on June 23. After the card, Chris Jericho on his website instructed anyone who failed to mark out for his match with Rob Van Dam to "stop watching WWE and take up bowling." Hopefully, Jericho will never be in a position where he has to run his own business.

  • Bret Hart suffered a stroke when he fell off his push-bike.

July

  • WWFE scored a rare victory when it was offered $3.5 million by the Parents Television Council to settle its lawsuit out of court.

  • Kevin Nash suffered a torn left quadriceps - his second serious muscle tear in four months - on July 8. WWE at that point may have regretted signing Nash to a $700,000 per annum downside.

  • Shane Douglas was named XPW booker. In a revolutionary booking decision, 'The Franchise' immediately made himself XPW Champion.

  • In a closed-door meeting attended by WWE wrestlers and road agents, Triple H blasted the under card and mid-card performers for being "lazy" and "not knowing how to work". Afterwards one WWE wrestle, speaking behind the veil of anonymity, called Triple H "an arrogant prick".

August

  • Ron Killings became the first black NWA World champion when he defeated Ken Shamrock on August 7.

  • The Hardy Boyz finally split up for good.

  • Undisputed Champion The Rock put Brock Lesnar over clean in the top-liner of SummerSlam on August 25. Despite his customary selflessness in the ring, though, The Rock's cover had been blown. Recognising him as a part timer who arranged his wrestling appearances around his movie commitments, fans at SummerSlam loudly booed The Rock. Consequently, 'The Great One' cancelled his scheduled appearance on Raw from Madison Square Garden the following evening. Rocky strongly suspected the New Yorkers would subject him to more of the same.

September

  • Triple H awarded himself the World Heavyweight title on September 2.

  • Apparently believing its viewers no longer wished to see wrestling-related entertainment, WWE hired UPW's Looney Lane and Savvy to perform "hot lesbian action" on the September 9 Raw, and had Billy and Chuck pretend to almost get married on the September 12 Smackdown! Both segments resulted in hundreds of complaints.

  • The Undertaker ruined the main event of Unforgiven when he refused to lose to Brock Lesnar.

  • Joanie Laurer made her début for New Japan. She became the first woman to wrestle men in NJPW.

October

  • Apparently believing its viewers no longer wished to see wrestling-related entertainment on Raw, WWE unveiled the Kane/Katie Vick/Triple H murder/necrophilia saga. It was the worst thing the company ever produced - and earned it a record number of complaints (in a rare display of humility and candour, Vince McMahon later admitted the angle sucked.)

  • Nicole Bass' sexual harassment lawsuit against WWE was thrown out of court.

  • NWA: TNA sold up to Panda Energy.

  • Issue 100 of Power Slam hit the shops. It was our best seller in years.

  • The Undertaker finally put Brock Lesnar over in a bloody Hell in a Cell match at No Mercy on October 20. Lesnar stuck two fingers up at The 'Taker after the finish by not selling anything and effortlessly climbing on top of the cage. Either that or he hadn't grasped the concept of selling.

  • WWE decided to push The Big Show again. It actually worked this time (for a couple of weeks, at least).

November

  • Sean Waltman and Joanie Laurer announced their engagement on November 14.

  • Triple H did his bit for WWE's future by dropping the World title to broken-down part-timer Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series on November 17. On the same show, Scott Steiner made his WWE re-début.

FEATURE

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Issue # 106, May 2003

Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the March 17 Raw (held before a sell out crowd of 16,349 in St. Louis, Missouri): The Dudley Boyz reluctantly joined forces with Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff and his lieutenant Chief Morley. Bubba Ray and D-Von had to side with the heel administration in order to get their suspension lifted.

    Maven overcame interference from Rosey and Jamal to pin Rico. Neither 3 Minute Warning nor Rico’s prospects look fabulous at present.

    Steve Austin pinned Bischoff in a lame match. The Rock sprinted in afterwards and levelled ‘Stone Cold’ with a Rock Bottom.

  • From the March 24 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in Sacramento, California): Due to William Regal’s illness, Chief Morley announced that he and Lance Storm were the new World Tag Team champions.

    Booker T and Goldust beat Triple H and 54-year-old Ric Flair in a plodding, 1980s-style match when ‘The Book’ pinned ‘The Game’.

    Lastly, Austin interrupted Rock’s heavily hyped concert and smashed his favourite guitar.

  • From the March 31 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Seattle, Washington): The show began with an angle which effectively exploited Steve Austin’s very real physical problems. With Austin’s (genuine) medical records in hand, Bischoff broke the news to ‘Stone Cold’ that his neck was so far gone that his active wrestling career was over. The Bisch then fired ‘The Rattlesnake’.

    Maven defeated Rosey in a rubbish match. Rosey is thoroughly awful.

    Rob Van Dam and Kane downed Storm and Morley (champions) and The Dudley Boyz in an exciting and heated Triple Threat elimination match to win the World Tag Team titles.

    Finally, The Rock claimed that he had “done it all” in WWE. Having nothing left to achieve, ‘The Great One’ said he would never again appear on a WWE show. Moments later, Bill Goldberg marched down to the ring to a huge reaction and floored Rock with a Spear.

  • From the April 7 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin): Goldberg challenged Rock to a match at Backlash. Rock wasn’t keen. He’ll have changed his mind before you read this...

    Jim Ross quit in protest against Bischoff’s decision to fire Austin on March 31. Yes, ‘Cowboy’ Jim took his ball and went home...

    Kevin Nash returned after Shawn Michaels and Booker T’s victory over Triple H and Chris Jericho and attacked the heels.

    _______________________________

  • Brock Lesnar suffered a concussion, facial bruising and a minor neck injury when he blew his shooting star press at WrestleMania. He returned to action nine days later.

  • Steve Austin may have worked his last match at WrestleMania XIX. He has serious spinal degeneration and needs his C-6 and C-7 vertebrae fusing. His injuries will not prevent him from working in a non-wrestling capacity, however. Expect him back on WWE television shortly (assuming he hasn’t returned before you read this).

  • The Undertaker had a minor elbow operation scheduled a few days after PS went to press. He will return to action in mid-May.

  • Bill Goldberg has signed with the company. It’s a one-year deal, supposedly. No one will tell us how much he’s being paid. But, if it’s anything less than $1 million (plus bonuses), I would be amazed.

  • There was a titanic blow-up between Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff prior to the March 17 Raw taping. According to reports, The Bisch was in his made-for-television office, minding his own business, when not-so-‘Slic’ Ric burst in and began yelling at him. Flair accused Bischoff of sabotaging his career and Arn Anderson’s career in WCW. Flair, who had turned scarlet and was sweating profusely, as if he were playing that crazy ‘Nature Boy’ character, then reportedly took a swing at The Bisch! Calling on his karate skills, Eric fired back, and the two rumbled until they were separated by road agents. Later, Bischoff confronted Flair in the canteen about the incident and the two men had another row before they were pulled apart again.

    Image

  • Speaking of scuffles, Bill Goldberg and Chris Jericho had one of their own after the April 7 Raw. There had been heat between Goldberg and Jericho dating back to 1998, when both worked for WCW. Anyhow, on this night, Goldberg apparently dissed Jericho. And Chris took exception to it. They had a bit of a shoving match before agents yanked them apart. [Isn’t it amazing how, like on TV, these agents (& referees) always seem to be milling about & just so happen to be in the vicinity when a fight breaks out – KK]

  • Sable has inked a three-year contract. What are they going to do with her for three years?

  • The APA – Bradshaw and Ron Simmons – reformed in Ohio Valley Wrestling last month. The washed-up combo will soon return to WWE to flatten anyone who opposes/opposed the war on Iraq. I think Bradshaw sees himself as a modern-day John Wayne.

  • Kevin Nash was originally scheduled to return as Diesel. Plans changed, as they often do in this company.

  • Chris Jericho’s wife is pregnant with the couple’s first child.

  • Paul Heyman is still employed by WWE. He requested he be removed from television prior to WM XIX. Word is that the agent-to-the-superstars will return in an on-screen role later in the year.

  • Kevin Kelly was last month released from his contract as a cost-cutting measure.

  • The King of the Ring pay-per-view and tournament are no more. This year’s June supershow has been renamed Bad Blood.

  • Sting has reopened negotiations with WWE and could make his debut for the company in the summer.

  • Piper’s Pit returned at the April 8 SmackDown! Taping. In the first one, Roddy Piper interviewed Vince McMahon. Who says this company is bereft of new ideas?

  • Dustin ‘Goldust’ Runnels absolutely buried his ex-wife Teri during an appearance on Howard Stern’s radio show on March 19. Runnels, who referred to Teri as a “bitch”, said he filed for divorce after he discovered that Teri had committed adultery with two men – her dentist and gynaecologist! Dustin said he never speaks to Teri backstage at WWE events. He also claimed Teri’s second marriage only lasted a month.

  • The big rumour out of Stamford is that Triple H and Stephanie are expecting their first child. Huntor, we’re told, is praying it’s a boy, so he can put him over for the title in 20 years’ time. Sources tell us that HHH has privately admitted he might be ready to retire by then...

  • Former WWF and WCW wrestler Haku (Meng) is now working as a car salesman in Orlando, Florida.

  • Curt Hennig died of acute cocaine intoxication. Dr. Jacqueline Lee of the Hillsborough County Medical Examiner’s Office, who carried out the post-mortem, stressed that Hennig did not die of a cocaine overdose. It is believed that Hennig’s heart gave out when he suffered an adverse reaction to what was probably a bad batch of cocaine. Hennig was found dead in a Tampa, Florida motel room on February 10.

In recent happenings from NWA: TNA...

    D-Lo Brown teamed with Jeff Jarrett and Dusty Rhodes to beat the useless trio of David Flair, Erik Watts and Brian Lawler in his in-ring debut on March 19. Afterwards, Brown walked out on Jarrett.

    Raven defeated AJ Styles in a Ladder match on March 19 to become the number one contender to Jarrett’s NWA World title.

    Perry Saturn made his TNA debut on March 26. He joined with The Sandman, Brian Lee and Slash to best Elix Skipper, Christopher Daniels and Ron and Don Harris in a shambolic main event. During the bout, TNA fans received a special treat when the artist formerly known as Mabel and Viscera (Nelson Frazier) waddled in.

    New Jack was the TNA surprise of the week on April 2. He and his Team Extreme buddies Saturn and Sandman downed Daniels and Harris twins.

    Though he hasn’t appeared on screen since his ‘retirement’ speech on March 5, Vince Russo is still on the booking team and is working backstage at every show.

In the Ratings

Raw

March 17: 3.8
March 24: 3.45
March 31: 3.7
April 7: 3.5

Smackdown

March 13: 3.0
March 20: 2.73 (pre-empted in numerous markets due to the war in Iraq)
March 27: 3.2
April 3: 3.3


Colour Commentary (by Mr. Colour)

I probably should be irate; but when you so frequently sigh, "It figures," anger and feelings of helplessness meld into melancholia. No sense in kicking furniture. You're resigned to the fact that although something positive is possible, it's foolish to expect that it actually will.
What's turned Mr. Colour blue? Booker T ending up on his back at WrestleMania XIX was a monstrous screw-job, with the fingerprints of his opponent's political manoeuvrings coating every facet. Worst of all, it was exactly what I expected.
Between getting over huge, despite a second-rate push, and a hype-job which included the public admission of a dodgy past (as well as the dreaded race card) logic said Booker "had to" win the World title at 'Mania. However, when T scored a pin on HHH during a tag team match on the Raw prior to WM, it guaranteed the former was doomed in the pay-per-view finish.
Note to novices: Any time you see an egomaniac with clout lose clean less than a week before a major event, take it as wrestling sign language for: "No way am I doing the job twice in a row." What may seem like a generous gesture on the surface - the star agreeing to take the weekday loss - is, in actuality, him setting the table for his foe to get reamed on the far more important show that weekend.
I'm not about to launch into a fiery diatribe about Hemsley's astronomical selfishness and lack of scruples, as HHH regularly gets blasted throughout PS. Instead, I'll publicly pose questions to the man.
Everyone not named Paul Levesque wanted Booker to capture the World belt at the big event. So, what possible harm would it have done to switch the strap? Seriously, name one negative consequence of sending the fans home happy.
You may not believe it, but we 'get it': You have the stroke and, barring a split from Stephanie, will retain it for the remainder of your career. Still, couldn't you have taken one bloody night off from rubbing it in?
Maybe YOU don't 'get it'. It's WrestleMania, the big party, where poopers are definitely not welcome. Lose the attitude or don't come at all.
No, the world didn't collapse at the end of the match, nor was the show ruined. Nonetheless, an opportunity to toss loyal fans a bone was squandered...yet again. I wish I could say it was difficult to see it coming.

Signs of the Times

Hurricane blows – Raw, March 17
Woof! – SmackDown, March 27
Cena mark – SmackDown, March 27
Where are my pants? – WrestleMania XIX
Pukestar Pukestar Pukestar Pukestar – WrestleMania XIX
Heel section – WrestleMania XIX
What about Raven? – Raw, March 31
I need a boyfriend – Raw, March 31
Nathan Jones = Outback Jack Jr. – SmackDown, April 3
Eric, please fire J.R. – Raw, April 7

If I can Be Serious For A Minute...

“Are you on crack, Coach?” – The Rock to Jonathan Coachman, Raw March 3

“I know what signing this contract means, brother. I know that I gave my word to all these ‘Maniacs out here that if I lost this match, I’d hang those tights up and I’d never wrestle again.” – Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Smackdown March 20

“I find that hard to believe” – Gene Okerlund (in response)

“Arrest The Hamburgler! Get his little green monkey ass out of here. Arrest him: he’s guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets up his ass.” – The Rock, Raw March 24.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have put my career on the line at WrestleMania. But I did and I will because I’m a man of my word.” – Hollywood Hulk Hogan, cracking us up again, SmackDown March 27

“Twist of Fate! Ladies and Gentlemen, this is over!” – Michael Cole, making it clear the Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio match wasn’t over, WrestleMania XIX

“How long did you work at WCW?” – Jim Ross to Jerry Lawler, WrestleMania XIX

“Never” – Lawler (in response)

“Well, I did” – Ross (in response)

“Was it a joke?” – Lawler (in response)

“Damn Right.” – Ross (in response)

“Stone Cold has never quit on any of us in his entire life!” – Jim Ross, WrestleMania XIX

“Booker T came so close to becoming the world’s heavyweight champion at WrestleMania” – Jim Ross, apparently seeing something we didn’t, Raw March 31

FEATURES

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Issue #107, June 2003
Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the April 21 Raw (held before a crowd of 10,000 in Atlanta, Georgia): In the first Five Minute White Boy Challenge, Theodore Long’s main man Rodney Mack pounded jobber Sean Evans (whose name was never mentioned) in less than two minutes. It will take more than a low-rent racist angle like this to get the nondescript Mack over.

    Lita returned to Raw. She was quickly interrupted by Eric Bischoff, who (correctly) noted that she had not received medical clearance to wrestle. Since she couldn’t run the ropes, Eric suggested that Lita should make herself useful by baring all for Playboy. He also proposed that she show him her assets in his hotel room. Totally creeped-out by his sinister tone, Lita told Eric to “go to hell”. Bischoff then fired her.

    The Rock flattened Goldberg during the Rock Concert II. ‘The Great One’ later levelled Goldberg a second time with a barrage of chair shots.

    Finally, Triple H went to a non-finish with Booker T in a poor match when Chris Jericho, Ric Flair and Kevin Nash ran in.

  • From April 27 Backlash (held before a crowd of 10,500 in Worcester, Massachusetts): Backlash didn’t do much for me, to be perfectly candid. I had no interest in seeing Rob Van Dam and Kane tackle The Dudley Boyz again – or the umpteenth match between Trish Stratus and Jazz. The (laudable) attempts to get new acts over (Sean O’Haire, John Cena) failed. The Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio did neither man any favours, and was followed by a high risk angle which could have left Mysterio with serious injuries (as Rey was strapped to a stretcher, Big Show grabbed the board and swung it forcibly into the ring post). The six man semifinal, designed to intensify the Triple H vs. Kevin Nash programme, instead proved that no one gave a rat’s bottom about their feud. And The Rock vs. Bill Goldberg main event, although decent, failed to deliver the promised thrills and spills.

  • From the April 28 Raw (held before a crowd of 9,000 in Boston, Massachusetts): Sill fuming over being nailed with a sledgehammer and pinned by Triple H the previous evening at Backlash, Nash came out and chased ‘The Game’ backstage with a sledgehammer. Actually, “chased” is an exaggeration: Dear old Nash’s knees are so knackered that he cannot even walk briskly – never mind run. Still, he somehow caught up with HHH, just as the World Champion climbed into a limousine in the underground car park, and smashed two of the car windows with the sledgehammer.

    Linda McMahon made her quarterly appearance and revealed that WWE’s phoney Board had decided to hire a co-General Manager of Raw to keep The Bisch in line. It was, of course, Steve Austin. ‘Stone Cold’ Stunned Eric to a huge reaction.

  • From the May 5 Raw (held before a sell out crowd of 7,000 in Halifax, Canada): Austin announced that the Intercontinental title would be revived in a Battle Royal at Judgment Day.

    Jim Ross was reinstated as announcer after Jerry Lawler pinned Chief Morley in a stipulation match. Afterwards, Bischoff fired Morley for being incompetent.

    Austin and Goldberg met in the ring for the first time and drank some beer. (In real life, Austin’s alcohol ban has been lifted by his probation officer – so expect to see this scene on every episode of Raw.)

  • From the May 12 Raw (held before a crowd of 9,500 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania): The Legion of Doom returned and lost to Rob Van Dam and Kane in a dreadful match. Hawk (who is 45) and Animal (who’s 43) were abysmal.

    They brought out Fred Blassie to promote his autobiography. 3 Minute Warning were about to attack him when The Dudley Boyz ran in and flattened Rosey and Jamal.

    Finally, Bill Goldberg defeated Christian in a Cage match.

    _________________________________

  • Kurt Angle had successful neck surgery last month. At time of writing, he was on course to return to action in mid-June.

  • The Undertaker underwent successful elbow surgery on April 10.

  • Batista tore his right triceps muscle again in early May when he fell over. He had a second operation to reattach the muscle, and will be sidelined until Autumn.

  • Goldust has missed several dates due to neck problems.

  • Rey Mysterio was badly shaken when The Big Show flung him into the ring post at Backlash. He suffered no lasting injuries, though.

  • Booker T spent three days in hospital suffering with Pneumonia just before Powerslam went to press. He’s okay now.

  • Chavo Guerrero suffered either a biceps or triceps tear at the May 13 television tapings and will be benched for at least three months.

  • Circle October 25 on your calendar: that’s the most important date of the year – nay, the decade – for sports entertainment. Yes, on October 25 wrestling’s favourite couple, Paul ‘Triple H’ Levesque and Stephanie McMahon, will become man and wife! Steph is already hard at work planning her special day. Our sources tell us that no expense is being spared, and that hundreds will be invited. I don’t think Power Slam will be among the guests, though...

  • In other wedding news: Torrie Wilson and Billy Kidman will tie the knot on July 25.

  • Former WWF star Elizabeth Hulette died on May 1 of a suspected drug overdose in Marietta, Georgia at the age of 42. Hulette – most famous for her role as Randy Savage’s valet Miss Elizabeth in the 1980s – lost consciousness in the house she shared with longtime boyfriend Lawrence ‘Lex Luger’ Pfohl. A frantic Pfohl called an ambulance but Hulette was pronounced dead on arrival at hospital. Pfohl was questioned by police over Hulette’s death, but later released when no evidence of foul play was found. However, during the investigation, police discovered 14 different illegal drugs in Pfohl’s home. Among the drugs were the steroids Dianabol, Sustanon, Boldenon and testosterone, growth hormone and a large quantity of downers. Pfohl was charged with possession of controlled substance and released on $27,500 bail. This was Pfohl’s third arrest in two weeks. It later emerged that he was charged with battery after he allegedly attacked Elizabeth in their garage on April 19. Elizabeth had bruises on her face and head when police arrived at their property in response to a 911 call. Two days later, Pfohl was arrested again, for drink-driving and driving with a suspended license, after he caused a car accident.

  • Ultimo Dragon has signed with WWE. He was set to make his in-ring debut at the post-Judgment Day television tapings.

  • There have been no further negotiations with Sting.

  • WWFE made ten office staff redundant in early May after the WrestleMania buy rate came in well below expectations (the event pulled 550,000 buys, a whopping 300,000 less than what they’d hoped for, which tells you how out of touch the company is with its public). More cuts are expected imminently in all departments – and that includes the locker room.

  • The Rock said goodbye to fans in Worcester after the Backlash pay-per-view went off the air. The latest on ‘The Great One’ is that he will return to WWE after he has completed his publicity tour for Welcome To The Jungle, which will be released in late September.

  • WWE will publish a Triple H workout book in November. ‘The Game’ was asked to work with a ghost writer on an autobiography, but declined because he didn’t think he was ready for the ‘biog treatment.

  • The National Network (TNN), home of Raw in the States, will change its name to Spike TV on June 16.

  • I can only assume that Chris Jericho wears that chequered jacket and trousers because he wants to be voted The Uncoolest Man On Television. It’s 2003, not 1987, you muppet...

  • WWFE scored its first victory over the Worldwide Fund for Nature on April 7. The Court of Appeals in London reversed a decision made last year which banned THQ/Jakks from selling classic WWF videogames. THQ/Jakks can now market games which feature the old “WWF” Scratch logo. WWFE was delighted with the ruling.

  • Arn Anderson has been sent to a drying out clinic. Anderson has reportedly had a drink problem for a while.

  • ‘American Dragon’ Bryan Danielson is on a tour of the UK. He has wrestled for All-Star and on the Butlins holiday camp circuit.

    In recent happenings from NWA: TNA...

    Jerry Lynn and The Amazing Red captured the NWA World Tag Team title from Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper in a superb match on April 16.

    Justin Credible and Mike Awesome debuted on April 16. Credible is with Team Extreme; Awesome is a member of the New Church.

    A.J. Styles needed nine stitches in his head after his match with Glen Gilbertti (formerly the Disco Inferno) on April 16.

    Raven signed a contract extension in early May.

    Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell returned on the May 7 show in a Battle Royal to determine the number one contender to the NWA World Heavyweight title and did nothing to distinguish themselves. Vince Russo’s buddy Gilbertti won the match.

    The promotion will stage its first anniversary show on June 18 in Nashville. Many people didn’t think NWA would last a year, so it’s a double celebration for the company.

    TNA is working on television deals in the US and UK.

In the Ratings

Raw

April 21: 3.8
April 28: 3.9
May 5: 3.5
May 12: 4.4

Know Your Wrestling Euphemisms 3

“He’s been granted a leave of absence to address his personal problems/issues.” – Oh, boy. You should have seen him at the last show: what an embarrassment. The guy was totally incoherent – smashed out of his mind on painkillers, I reckon. In that state, they wouldn’t let him go anywhere near the ring. He was sent home immediately – and told to seek professional help. This is his last chance. One more screw-up and he’s history.

“I really do prefer to work the small circuits.” – 1. WWE wouldn’t give me a tryout if I paid them. 2. I am clinically insane.

(Announcers) “I’m convinced the challenger is going to win the title tonight.” – The challenger is definitely not winning the title tonight.

(Announcers) “Look at the size of this man! He’s huge!” – This grappler is devoid of talent and charisma – and no one gives a toss about him. But he is really big.

“He arrived at the arena in no condition to perform.” - He was off his head on drugs.

(Announcers) “This wrestler doesn’t get paid by the hour, that’s for sure!” – This wrestler’s matches are booked to last two minutes or less because he’s F’N clueless.

“I’m signing with the big money promotion to secure my family’s future.” – I’m just after the cash, really, because I want to live in a bigger house and drive a faster car. But I haven’t got the guts to admit it.

“Our locker room is like one big happy family!” – The wrestlers in our promotion all look out for number one, but are told to propagate the ‘family’ myth because it makes it sound like they care, even though their actions prove they don’t.

“Wrestling had a drug problem in the 1980s. But it doesn’t exist anymore.” – Wrestling has a drug problem. But if I pretend it doesn’t exist, the problem will just go away.

Signs of the Times

HHH is boring – Raw, April 7
Security took my better sign – Backlash, April 27
Big Show loves Cher – Backlash, April 27
My sign rocks – Raw, May 5
Linda is wonderful – Raw, May 5
Vince took my sign – Raw, May 5
World’s biggest testicles – Raw, May 5
Stun me! – Raw, May 12
X-Pac still sucks – Raw, May 12
LOD = OLD - Raw, May 12

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"You look horrible” – Vince McMahon to Roddy Piper, SmackDown April 10.

“He’s a lying, manipulative piece of trash, and everyone in the business knows it.” – Shawn Michaels on HHH, Raw April 14.

“I don’t care what your name is; that don’t mean nothing to me. All I know is that you’re just another white boy. And, unfortunately for you, this isn’t white boy day.” – Theodore Long to Sean Evans, the first victim of the Long/Rodney Mack Five Minute White Boy Challenge – Raw, April 21.

“I’m speechless.” – Jonathan Coachman, Raw April 21.

“You are in so much trouble: you’ve been making fun of Goldberg for years.” – The Rock to Gillberg as Bill Goldberg came out during the Rock Concert II segment – Raw, April 21.

“Well, I have a feeling right now, despite the fact that HHH is in control, somehow Booker T will be able to come out of this the World Heavyweight champion. I can feel it in my bones.” – Jonathan Coachman, Raw April 21.

“It could just be gas.” – Jerry Lawler (in response).

“I give to you the newest disciple of Mattitude: Crash!” – Matt Hardy, adopting another loser, SmackDown April 24.

“Crash has 14 pets...He has five dogs, two turtles, two pigs and five cats.” – Michael Cole, SmackDown April 24.

“I’m very proud of him. His house must smell like a real stinky zoo smell.” – Tazz (in response).

“I want you to know I’m more interested in a mature woman.” – Eric ‘Sleaziest Man On TV’ Bischoff to Linda McMahon, Raw April 28.

“Crash is a vegetarian, Cole...He tosses salad.” – Tazz, SmackDown May 1.

“I don’t know everything, Cole. I know you think I do...” – Tazz, SmackDown May 1.

“This is America: home of the brave, land of the free. But it is not the country of stupidity. You are not Mr America; you are simply Hulk Hogan.” – Roddy Piper to Mr America, SmackDown May 1.

“Well let me tell you something, brother: that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, brother.” – Mr America (in response).


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Issue #108, July 2003

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Quote:
In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the May 18 Judgment Day show (held before a crowd of 14,000 in Charlotte, North Carolina): Judgment Day was a waste of three hours of Pay Per View time. Featuring mainly rushed or uninspiring matches and half-baked performances and an offensive finish in the boring World title match (which mirrored the one used in Triple H's match with Scott Steiner at Royal Rumble, JD was a failure in terms of booking and execution. You know things are pretty grim when The Big Show is one half of the hottest match of the night.

    Chuck Palumbo, Johnny Stamboli and John Cena defeated Robin Ethics, Rhyno and Spanky in just four minutes.

    La Resistance downed Test and Scott Steiner in a terrible match.

    Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri beat Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas in a good ladder match to raise the WWE Tag Team Title.

    Christian won a rotten Battle Royal to capture the vacant Intercontinental title.

    Mr America pinned Roddy Piper in a worthless match.

    Kevin Nash downed Triple H by DQ when 'The Game' intentionally hit the referee to 'save the title'.

    Jazz retained the Women's title against Trish Stratus, Victoria and Jacqueline in a decent Fatal Four Way.

    And finally, Brock Lesnar beat The Big Show in an entertaining Stretcher Match.

  • From the May 19 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,000 in Greenville, South Carolina): Triple H was ordered by Steve Austin to defend his World Title on the show. Austin graciously allowed Tripper to choose his own opponent. It could be anyone - so long as he was a former World champion. 'The Game' selected Ric Flair. Backstage, HHH asked Ric to lay down for him in their match. 'Slic' Ric wasn't keen.

    Austin discovered that Chris Jericho had engineered the hit and run attack which almost wiped out Bill Goldberg in the car park on the previous week's show.

    Lastly, Triple H pinned Flair in a passable bout. Afterwards, Austin announced that HHH would face Kevin Nash in a Hell in a Cell match at Bad Blood. What a waste of a perfectly good gimmick.

  • From the May 22 SmackDown (taped on May 20 before a crowd of 4,000 in Greensboro, North Carolina): Vince McMahon set up a stipulation match between Mr. America and Sean O'Haire. If America won, Roddy Piper would be fired, whereas if O'Haire won, America would have to take a lie detector test.

    Two days after suffering a concussion at Judgment Day, Spanky made his in-ring comeback and took several wild bumps en route to a useless squash loss to John Cena. Young Brian Kendrick should have been given the week off.

    The Undertaker returned and saved Brock Lesnar from a three-on-one attack by the Full Blooded Italians.

    Lastly, O'Haire defeated Mr. America by count-out.

  • From the May 26 Raw (held before a crowd of 6,500 in Mobile, Alabama): Shawn Michaels and babyface Ric Flair exchanged compliments. And more compliment. And more complements still. In fact, this shameless display of arse-kissing went on so long, I thought I was watching the Academy Awards ceremony. Then Triple H and Eric Bischoff joined them in the ring. The Bisch booked HHH against Michaels and Flair in a handicap main event.

    In the Highlight Reel, Jericho trashed Goldberg. He then dropped him with a shot of mace to the face when Goldberg launched the Spear.

    Finally, the Handicap match proved to be a set up all along (I never tire of that angle): 'Slic' Ric turned heel on Michaels in a deeply predictable main event. Soon, a masked man joined in HHH and Flair's assault on Michaels. The masked man was Randy Orton, which begs the question why he was wearing a mask. Regrettably no one cared.

  • From the May 29 SmackDown (taped on May 27 before a crowd of 5,000 in Pensacola, Florida): Mr America passed the lie-detector test with flying colours. He's not Hulk Hogan after all, you know. This infuriated Mr McMahon, who decided to hook himself up to the polygraph machine to 'prove' it was faulty. Instead, McMahon was totally humiliated when the machine 'proved' he was a selfish, power-mad pervert. Vince was a riot throughout the segment.

    Lastly, the Basham Brothers defeated Spanky and Rikishi in their instantly forgettable début.

  • From the June 2 Raw (held before a crowd of 8,000 in San Diego, California): Due to all the squabbling between Stacy Keibler and Test and Scott Steiner, it was announced that Test would clash with Steiner at Bad Blood and the winner would earn Keibler's managerial services.

    Jericho poured paint all over Goldberg's car. Goldberg ran outside to nail him, but Jericho had disappeared. Goldberg was outsmarted again.

    The Rock came back for one night only and turned babyface in a Highlight Reel hosted by Christian.

    Finally, Goldberg returned to the arena and tried to Spear Jericho. But - guess what? - Jericho was way ahead of him yet again: the man with no dress sense sidestepped the Spear and Goldberg levelled the referee.

  • From the June 5 SmackDown (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Anaheim, California): Kurt Angle returned as a babyface. He had a confrontation with The Big Show, and shook hands with his new buddy Lesnar. That friendship won't last...

    Cena pinned Robin Ethics in a mediocre match after Rhyno 'inadvertently' nailed 'The Crippler' with a chain. Looks like Benoit and Rhyno are heading for a feud...

    Finally, Rey Mysterio beat Matt Hardy in a good match to capture the Cruiserweight title.

  • From the June 9 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Miami, Florida): Trouble in the RVD/Kane camp. Kane was nowhere to be seen when Van Dam was flattened by La Resistance. When RVD confronted him about it later, 'The Big Red Machine' walked off, without offering an explanation.

    Mick Foley was announced as the referee of the HHH vs. Nash Hell in a Cell match at Bad Blood. 'The Game' later attacked Foley and gave him a proper beating.


    _________________________________

  • Earl Hebner suffered a badly bruised shoulder when HHH drilled him with a sledgehammer at Judgment Day.

  • Scott Steiner is having serious back problems (along with everything else). Rumour has it that he doesn't have many matches left in him.

  • WWE decided not to hire the Legion Of Doom. Management was not impressed by their performance - in particular Hawk's no-sell job after he absorbed the Five Star Frog Splash - in their match with RVD and Kane on May 12.

  • Ultimo Dragon made his debut on May 26. He defeated Rico in a dark match.

  • Steve Austin suffered cuts and bruises in a car accident in late May. That's why he looked so awful on the May 26 Raw (you didn't believe that tale about him slipping in the shower, did you?)

  • Fred Blassie died of a heart and kidney failure on June 2 at the age of 85. Blassie, one of the greatest managers ever, had been in poor health for several weeks.

  • Mark Henry is still stationed in OVW - in the unlikely event that you're wondering what happened to him. Hey, only three more years and the WWE will finally be rid of Henry: his contract expires in 2006.

  • Still no sign of Goldberg on House Shows...

  • Mr America's buddy Zach Gowen is the artist formerly known as Tenacious Z. The one legged 19-year old can work an exciting short match, as NWA: TNA fans discovered in February.


    ____________________________

  • In recent happenings from TNA...

    Chris Sabin captured the X title in a Triple Threat match against The Amazing Red (champion) and Jerry Lynn on May 14. Afterwards, Sabin joined Christopher Daniels, Low Ki, and Elix Skipper in the Sports Entertainment Xtreme stable.

    Sean Waltman was scheduled to return in a prominent role on May 21, but managed to miss his flight from Los Angeles (where he rents a very expensive apartment). Believing Waltman to be unreliable, TNA has no plans to use him again.

    BG James returned on May 28. So did Vince Russo. He ran in during the main event between Raven and Glen Gilberti (WCW's Disco Inferno) and nailed Raven with a rubber baseball bat, which enabled Gilberti to score the pin.

    Jeff Jarrett defeated Gilberti with Russo's assistance on June 4. Russo was also involved in the finish of the NWA World title bout on June 11, which ended with a new champion being crowned. In a Triple Threat encounter between Jarrett (champion), Raven and AJ. Styles, Russo ran in blasted Jarrett with a guitar, and Styles made the cover to win the NWA World title. Yes, it was a set up all along...

    Sting was scheduled to make his first appearance for the promotion on June 18.


In the Ratings

RAW

May 19: 3.6
May 26: 3.7
June 2: 3.9
June 9: 3.5

SmackDown

May 15: 3.2
May 22: 3.3
May 29: 3.4
June 5: 3.1

UK - RAW

Week ending April 24: 240,000
Week ending May 4: 230,000
Week ending May 11: 200,000

Signs of The Times

Sable is FOXY - Raw, May 19
I want Stone Cold to lose his temper - Raw, June 2
Piper has my leg - SmackDown, June 5
Big Daddy - Insurrextion, June 7
Spoiler: Triple H wins - Insurrextion, June 7
Jazz is a boiler - Insurrextion, June 7
HHH is holding down my sign - Insurrextion, June 7
wHHHo booked this crap? - Insurrextion, June 7

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"Don't forget: Charlie Haas was an academic All-American. He's got the brains...Well that's not going to help him in the ring here." - Tazz, Backlash April 27.

"He's a rock star, he's a dancer...now, he's an interviewer?" - Jerry Lawler on Chris Jericho, Raw May 5.

"Not really a fashion plate though, is he?" - Jim Ross (in response)

"The irony of the innocence of Miss Elizabeth, juxtaposed to the way that she died. There's a message there somewhere. I'm not too sure what it is.. But it's something that performers in our business have to learn from, so they do not repeat the same mistakes that were made by others before them." - Vince McMahon, Confidential May 10

"Not everything in France is bad, JR. The Eiffel Tower's nice. Those berets...it's a functional item of apparel." - Jerry Lawler, Raw May 12

"I know berets are illegal in the state of Oklahoma." - Jim Ross (in response)

"Do you like sushi, Cole?" - Tazz to Michael Cole, SmackDown May 15

"I love sushi!" - Michael Cole (in response)

"You can't afford sushi, you geek. You like hamburgers." - Tazz (in response to that).

"...Unimpeded?" - Tazz, Judgment Day May 18

"It means nobody in their way, no obstacles." - Michael Cole (in response)

"I know what it means, Cole. Let's just call the match." - Tazz (in response to that)

"In WWE, I became one of the biggest stars in the history of the company." - Chris Jericho, dreaming again, Raw May 26

"A lot of farmers cattle with Cadillacs, you know that?" - Tazz to Michael Cole, SmackDown May 29

"What are you talking about?" - Michael Cole (in response)

"The one thing I can't stand, Hogan, is a liar." - Vince McMahon to Mr America, SmackDown May 29.

"All this cruiserweight talk. These flying cruiserweights, they don't deserve a second look. It's like watching The Haiti Kid beat on Lord Littlebrook." - John Cena, SmackDown June 5.

"They got rid of Mad Cow Disease, but what about Fat Cow Disease?" - The Bisch on the gals at the Telewest Arena, Insurrextion June 7.

FEATURE

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Issue #109, August 2003

Quote:
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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the June 15 Bad Blood Pay Per View, before a crowd of around 10,000 in Houston, Texas): The single-brand pay-per-view format started very badly with Bad Blood. Most of the matches ranged from mediocre to abysmal, some of the booking was downright offensive, and all of the segments between Bischoff and Steve Austin - which featured a burping contest, 'pie-eating' [Mae Young, wearing a thong, came out and gave Bischoff a Bronco Buster. Austin then gave her a Stunner] and singing - was one of the worst things I've ever seen on a wrestling show.

    Rodney Mack and Christopher Nowinski beat The Dudley Boyz in a passable opener

    Scott Steiner pinned Test to win Stacy Keibler's managerial services. [This is the match where Steiner fell off the apron in hilarious fashion]

    Booker T beat Christian by DQ in a rubbish match when Christian nailed Booker with a belt shot in front of the referee.

    La Resistance downed RVD and Kane to win the World tag team title in a worthless match.

    Goldberg pinned Chris Jericho in a passable match.

    Ric Flair defeated Shawn Michaels in another so-so effort.

    And HHH downed Kevin Nashm with Mick Foley as referee, in a gimmick-filled Hell in a Cell match.

  • From the June 16 Raw (held before a crowd of 11,500 in Dallas, Texas): Mick Foley exchanged barbs with Randy Orton. He then exchanged blows with Orton, Triple H and Ric Flair and, inevitably, took a pasting.

    Rob Van Dam and Kane had an argument backstage. However the team did agree they would split as a team if they failed to beat La Resistance later on the show.

    Steve Austin told Lance Storm he was boring. He then led fans in a "boring" chant.

    Changing his gimmick again, Rico was unveiled as a modern-day Adrian Street, complete with a female valet Miss Jackie (Jackie Gayda). Street - who strongly implied but never said he was gay - had a good run on the British circuit in the 1970s before he and his valet Miss Linda emigrated to the US, where they worked for various Southern territories. Anyway, back to Rico. He pinned Spike Dudley in a bout memorable only for its "boring" chants.

    Finally, La Risistance defeated RVD and Kane by Disqualification when Kane went ballistic on the heels. Afterwards, it was announced that HHH would face Kane in a
    World title vs. Mask match on the June 23 Raw.

  • From the June 23 Raw (held before a crowd of 15,451 at Madison Square Garden): La Resistance beat The Hurricane and the enormous Sgt. Slaughter in a rubbish match.

    Triple H pinned Kane in a decent match, following loads of outside interference. Complying with the stipulation, Kane unmasked afterwards - and, strangely, looked normal, apart from his ridiculous half-bald hairstyle, which was cut specifically for this show. So, after nearly six years, we saw Kane's face - but no evidence of burn scars. Indeed, for a man who was badly disfigured in a fire, Kane didn't look too bad.

  • From the June 26 SmackDown! (taped on June 24 before a crowd of 9,500 at Madison Square Garden): Orlando Jordan lost to John Cena in his SmackDown! début. Neither wrestler looked impressive.

    Outside the arena, Jamie Noble learned that his Aunt Lucille had left him $827,000 in her will. In real life, a wrestling fan once left Shawn Michaels even more than that...

    Vince McMahon told Zach Gowen that he would sign him to a WWE Contract - if he joined the Kiss My Ass club. The plucky Gowen again defied and outsmarted the boss by drilling him with a low blow.

    Lastly, The Big Show, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas bested Mr. America, Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar when Show pinned America.

  • From the June 30 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,500 in Buffalo, New York): Gail Kim in her Raw debut won the Women's title in a Battle Royal.

    And... HHH downed RVD AGAIN in a forgettable match. Following the decision, Kane came out (with a bald head) and choke-slammed Eric Bischoff off the ramp onto a large crash mat.

  • From the July 3 SmackDown! (taped on July 1 before a crowd of 4,500 in Rochester, New York): Gunn beat Cena in the US title tournament after The Undertaker distracted Cena.

    Benjamin and Haas beat Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri to regain the WWE Tag Team title in an exciting match. Afterwards, Guerrero turned heel on Tajiri and bodyslammed him through the windscreen of his lowrider.

    Vince announced that he had fired Mr America/Hulk Hogan.

    Lastly, Zach Gowen and Stephanie McMahon defeated The Big Show, with assistance from Angle and Lesnar. Gowen pinned The Show with a one-legged moonsault to finally 'earn a WWE contract' .

  • From the July 7 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,000 in Montreal, Canada): Booker T defeated Christian to win the Intercontinental title in a good match.

    In The Highlight Reel, Chris Jericho 'interrogated' Shawn Michaels about the 1997 Survivor Series double-cross. The fans cheered Jericho (a Canadian) and loudly booed Michaels at the start of the segment. However, when Michaels said the double-cross was ancient history (which it is) and asked everyone - the people of Montreal, especially - to come to terms with it and move on (which everyone should), and reminded supporters that Jericho, their babyface hero, thought so much of Canada he moved to Florida, the mood in the arena began to change. Fans grew even more perplexed by it all when Michaels challenged Jericho to a match, and Jericho backed down. Who was supposed to be the face and the heel here? And what was this awful segment meant to achieve?

    Test pinned Kevin Nash in less than two minutes.

    Jericho beat Mark Jindrak in a terrible match.

    Lastly, Kane turned heel in a mini-brawl with Steve Austin.

    ____________________________________

  • Brock Lesnar suffered a large gash on his lower leg when he caught it on a propeller during a boating trip in mid-June. Lesnar, who needed stitches, only missed a few house show dates.

  • Bill Goldberg was excused from the July 7 Raw when he suffered a serious arm infection which required hospital treatment.

  • Marc Mero filed for divorce from Rena 'Sable' Mero on June 19. Rumour has it thar Marc sought a divorce after he learned that Rena was having an affair with a member of WWE Management.

  • Hulk Hogan left WWE following his appearance at the SmackDown! taping from Madison Square Garden. Hogan was not comfortable with the way his character was being portrayed. He attempted to negotiate a compromise with Vince McMahon, but, when their discussions failed to meet his satisfaction, he decided to quit (again). Hogan, who was working on a handshake deal, has since talked about wrestling in Japan and setting up his own company. I'll give him six months, and he'll be back working for Vince again...

  • Crash Holly was released in late June.

  • Extreme Championship Wrestling now belongs to the WWE. After a two-year legal struggle in bankruptcy court, it was ruled last month that WWE owned the rights to the ECW name, logos, characters, and videotape library. We have no idea what they're going to do with them.

  • WWE made a record loss of $19.2 million in the year ending April 30. The good news is that the losses were caused by the disaster that was The World restaurant in New York City.

  • RVD this month plans to open a comic shop in Long Beach, California. The shop will be called RVD's Five Star Comics.

  • Bill Goldberg was furious at a comment made by Linda McMahon during a conference call to discuss WWE's financial results on June 13. Linda, in a truly senseless public dressing down of a WWE employee, said Goldberg had been "disappointing". Goldberg and Vince had a little chat about it a few days later.

  • Mick Foley's house in Pensacola, Florida burned down on June 7. As estimated $300,000 of damage was caused to the property, which had not been occupied for more than a year. I hope Foley was insured...

  • Roddy Piper was fired by WWE on June 26 after he spoke honestly about his personal drug use and the callous nature of the wrestling business on HBO's Real Sports programme about premature deaths in wrestling, which aired two days earlier.

  • The now retired Del 'The Patriot' Wilkes was also interviewed by Real Sports, and talked openly about his steroid, cocaine and painkiller use during his wrestling days. But the star of the feature was undoubtedly Vince McMahon, who again cracked under the pressure of having to answer real questions from a real reporter. McMahon refused to accept any responsibility for the changes in the wrestling business in the 1980s (even though every performer he pushed was on steroids), the bad habits wrestlers developed or their untimely deaths. When reporter Armen Keteyian dared to challenge McMahon about his statements, Vince flew off the handle and attempted to knock some papers out of Keteyian's hand. Well done, Vince!

  • Bret Hart released a statement on his website regarding the Survivor Series double cross segment on the July 7 Raw. In a nutshell, he wasn't happy about it. Hart also stated that Shawn Michaels has never apologised to him for his role in the double cross.

  • In Pay Per View buyrate news: Royal Rumble 2003 drew 515,000 buys; No Way Out 450,000; WrestleMania XIX 560,000 buys; Backlash 350,000; Judgment Day 230,000 (a disaster).

    _______________________

  • In recent happenings from TNA...

    Sting made his NWA: TNA debut on June 18 in a tag team match. He joined with Jeff Jarrett to beat AJ Styles and Sean Waltman when Jarrett pinned Styles. Sting is scheduled to make further appearances for the group on special events.

    America's Most Wanted (Chris Harris and James Storm) defeated Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels to capture the NWA World Tag Team title in an excellent Cage match on June 25.

    Jarrett and Raven teamed up for the first time on June 25 to beat the awful combo of Glen 'Disco Inferno' Gilberti and Shane Douglas by Disqualification when Jim Mitchell interfered.

    The Sandman downed New Jack in the final of the Hard 10 hardcore tournament on July 2.

    NWA plans to use Don 'Cyrus the Virus' Callis and Terry Funk on forthcoming events.

In the Ratings

RAW

June 16: 4.1
June 23: 3.9
June 30: 3.6
July 7: 4.2

SmackDown!

June 12: 3.7
June 19: 3.2
June 26: 3.4
July 3: 3.0

Signs of The Times

Kevin Nash fears bumps! - Insurrextion, June 7
Goldberg, please go away - Bad Blood, June 15
Foley is round - Raw, June 16
Spear our Mayor - Raw, June 16
500lbs of crap - SmackDown!, June 19
Can U rig it? - Raw, June 30
No more double cross angles - Raw, July 7
WrestleMania XX spoiler: HHH retains - Raw, July 7

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...

"Triple H retired Mick Foley almost three years ago." - Jim Ross, deliberately ignoring Foley's comeback 22 days after his 'retirement' match, Raw June 9.

"If Christian leaves here tonight with the Intercontinental title, it's going to be a miracle." - Jim Ross, informing everyone 'in the know' that Christian was about to retain the IC title, Bad Blood June 15

"This is even more boring than I thought it was going to be. I'm starting to get a little sleepy up here. You know what, Lance, you're better than a sleeping pill, kid...(score)...I'm having a dream that Lance Storm is in the ring. No, no, no! It's not a dream; it's a nightmare, and he's boring the hell out of me." - Steve Austin on Lance Storm, Raw June 16

"Lance Storm, you are, without a shadow of a doubt, the. most. boring. son-of-a-bitch I have ever seen!" - Steve Austin, laying it on thick, Raw June 16.

"This is not the night to confront Kane, because he'll tell you who your daddy is!" - Jim Ross, June 16.

"Billy Gunn's six-foot five, and he's got Jamie Noble by two inches. Noble's, like, five-foot 11, I guess" - Tazz, losing it again, SmackDown! June 19.

"'The Game', who I consider to be the greatest World Champion of all-time." - Jerry Lawler, Raw June 30.

"I tell you: Nidia looked great in that coat, didn't she?" - Michael Cole, SmackDown July 3.

"She did. Nice beaver." - Tazz (in response)

"It was a mink." - Michael Cole (in response to that).

"Nobody cares about what happened (at the 1997 Survivor Series)." - Shawn Michaels, in a segment based around the 1997 Survivor Series, Raw July 7.




Issue #110, September 2003

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In The News (edited by Fin Martin)

  • From the July 21 Raw (held before a crowd of 10,500 in Los Angeles, California): Bill Goldberg and Triple H had their first on-screen confrontation. Goldberg, not surprisingly, told 'The Game' that he was "next.

    And Chris Jericho defeated Shawn Michaels by submission in a decent match, following interference from Randy Orton.

  • From the July 24 SmackDown! (taped on July 22 before a crowd of 6,000 in Fresno, California): John Cena cut a promo - written by Stephanie McMahon - about how gorgeous Stephanie McMahon was. Can you imagine what they'll be ordered to say about her on her wedding day?

    Lastly, Big Show, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas downed Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar and Zach Gowen in a good match when Show pinned Angle.

  • In results from WWE Vengeance (held before a crowd of 12,000 in Denver, Colorado): This supercard was a fabulous return to form by WWE. After producing several inferior quality pay-per-views, the organisation came through with its first all-SmackDown! supershow (in the U.S.), which delivered everything it promised and more.

    Eddie Guerrero beat Robin Ethics to win the vacant/reborn United States title in a good match with a wacky finish (the referee went down and Rhyno ran in and turned heel on Benoit).

    Jamie Noble beat Billy Gunn in a passable match.

    Bradshaw won the Old Compton Street fake Bar Room Brawl (which sought laughs, and fell short every time).

    Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas defeated Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman in a superb wrestling match.

    Sable pinned Stephanie McMahon, with help from A-Train, in a decent match for (two non-workers).

    The Undertaker pinned John Cena in a fair match.

    Vince McMahon pinned Zach Gowen in a simple but effective encounter (McMahon bled incredibly badly just before the finish).

    And finally Kurt Angle defeated Brock Lesnar (champion) and The Big Show in an exciting Triple Threat bout to win the WWE Title when he pinned Lesnar.

  • From the July 28 Raw (held before a crowd of 5,000 in Colorado Springs, Colorado): Goldberg hammered Steven Richards (who, believe it or not, was once an entertaining and productive performer). As Goldberg celebrated in the ring, Evolution sauntered onto the stage and interrupted him. Goldberg challenged Triple H to a match, right there and then. Cooler-than-absolute-zero HHH declined the invitation; he was prepared to wait until SummerSlam. So Goldberg fired off a challenge to Ric Flair. By rights, 54-year-old Flair (the mid-card heel) should have been visibly intimidated by 36-year-old Goldberg (the top line killer babyface). But that's not the way things are done in this company. Flair couldn't wait to tackle Goldberg; he had to be held back by his colleagues. Eric Bischoff then arrived on the scene and booked a Flair vs. Goldberg match on the August 4 Raw.

    Lastly Molly Holly downed Gail Kim to win the Women's title.

  • From the July 31 SmackDown! (taped on July 29 before a crowd of 4,500 in Colorado Springs, Colorado): New WWF Champion Kurt Angle offered Brock Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar was elated. However Vince McMahon came out and forbid it. Instead, he announced the two would team up in the main event...

    Eddie Guerrero pinned Tajiri in a very entertaining match-up.

    Shannon Moore beat Zach Gowen, with help from Matt Hardy. It looks like Gowen's big push is over - and thank God for that. As courageous and talented as Gowen is, a man with his disability does not belong in main event scenarios. When he wrestles, I find it impossible to suspend my disbelief.

    Lastly Angle and Lesnar beat the awful team of The Big Show and A-Train in a poor match when Angle pinned Show after Lesnar nailed him with an F-5. Following the decision, Lesnar attacked Angle for stealing his pinfall.

  • From the August 4 Raw (held before a crowd of 6,500 in Vancouver, Canada): Goldberg defeated Ric Flair by disqualification when Orton ran in and drilled Goldberg with a chair. Flair looked ancient, awkward and, above all, abysmal in this bout. At one point, he just fell down for no reason. And the booking again did nothing to aid Goldberg, the so-called golden goose: he should have smashed through this frail veteran in his usual squash-like fashion.

    It was announced that the main event of SummerSlam had been changed. Triple H would now defend World title in an Elimination Chamber match against Goldberg, Orton, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.

    Lance Storm admitted to Goldust that he was boring, and asked for his help.

    And Gail Kim turned heel on Trish Stratus. I have no idea why.

  • From the August 7 SmackDown! (taped on August 5 before a sell out crowd of 4,000 in Kelowna, Canada): John Cena pinned The Undertaker in a poor match after A-Train ran in and flattened 'Taker.

    Lesnar turned heel on Angle in a Cage match. Actually, Angle was just the Special Referee: Lesnar faced big, bad Vince McMahon in the match itself. Which was, of course, a set-up all along: Lesnar attacked 'The Olympic Hero' from behind and left with Vince.

  • And from the August 11 Raw (held before a crowd of 7,000 in Moline, Illinois): Jim Ross returned. He threatened to sue Bischoff for placing him in an unsafe working environment (you know, on the July 14 Raw, when he was attacked and set on fire by Kane). In an effort to appease J.R., The Bisch reinstated him as lead announcer. But he had to do more than that. To avoid a lawsuit from 'Cowboy' Jim Watts, Bischoff had to sign a 'legal document' brought to the ring by Steve Austin. He did so, without reading it - and then learned it was a match with Kane later on the show...

    Kane refused to harm Bischoff and deliberately lost to him by count out (to bedevil the fans, apparently).

    Finally, Goldberg beat Flair in another rubbish match, with assistance from Michaels. Orton was the Special Referee.

    ____________________________________

  • More crippling news for Triple H. He went down with another haematoma in his leg in an early July match, and then suffered a torn groin in his post-Raw showdown with Bill Goldberg on July 28 (which Goldberg won by disqualification). When management learned the injury would effectively sideline 'The Game' for eight weeks, they decided to scrap the Triple H vs. Goldberg singles match at SummerSlam and replace it with a six-man Elimination Chamber. That's the story, anyway. HHH was also pulled from the tour of Australia.

  • Manager Paul Heyman is still recovering from neck injury.

  • Christopher Nowinski is suffering from post-concussion syndrome.

  • William Regal still hasn't received clearance to return to action after suffering a strange virus in February which led to a heart condition. He is now working as a road agent.

  • Playboy has revealed that its May 2003 issue, featuring Torrie Wilson on the cover, was a massive seller. That probably means Hugh Hefner will invite another WWE Diva to pose nude for his magazine at some point in the future.

  • Would it be possible for Rico to be any less over? You could blame it on the gimmick - which undoubtedly is the pits. But he is too...

  • Undertaker's motorbike died on him when he rode out on the stage at Vengeance. That's why he walked to the ring...

  • Torrie Wilson and Billy Kidman were married on July 11 in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. Among the wrestlers and personalities invited to the ceremony were Chris Jericho, Dawn Marie and Simon Diamond, Glen "Disco Inferno" Gilberti, Chris Kanyon, Victoria, and Test and Stacy Keilber.

  • Road agent Arn Anderson returned to work on July 21 following his stint in an alcohol rehab clinic.

  • Prediction of the Month: Hollywood Hulk Hogan will return to WWE in 2004 and play a major role in WrestleMania XX. Hogan's ego will demand that he wrestle on the event because, firstly, it will be hyped more than any WrestleMania in history and, secondly, it's being held in the city (New York) where much of America's media is based. Hogan can't get enough of that mainstream publicity...

  • It seems we were overly optimistic about Ultimo Dragon's WWE prospects in our article in 109. Management as already lost interest in pushing Dragon because his ring style differs so greatly from the standard WWE style. That's why this promotion will never have a thriving cruiserweight division: WWE will not allow its junior-heavyweights to employ a fast-paced, high spot-based style which would effectively distinguish them from the heavyweights.

  • An accidental overdose of alcohol and painkillers took the life of Elizabeth Hulette on May 1 in Marietta, Georgia.

  • Joanie "Chyna" Laurer is seeking a restraining order against Sean "X-Pac" Waltman. Laurer, 34, applied for the protective order on August 1 after alleging that Waltman had hit her, pulled her hair out and threatened to kill her. Laurer also claims that the 31-year-old Waltman has threatened to take his own life. Laurer and Waltman were engaged. But not any more...

  • Hulk Hogan's defamation lawsuit against WCW and Vince Russo - which had been on the books for more than three years - was dismissed during a Federal Court hearing in Fulton County, Georgia on August 6. Judge Susan B. Forsling ruled that Russo's comments were directed at Hulk Hogan, the wrestling character, not Terry Bollea, and therefore were not defamatory.

  • Scott "Raven" Levy's answering machine cordially instructs callers to "strawberry float off".

    _______________________

  • In recent happenings from TNA...

    Don Callis made his debut as a heel manager on July 9.

    Jerry Lynn beat Justin Credible in a very good Last Man Standing match on July 16.

    Michael 'Crash Holly' Lockwood made his debut as Mad Mikey on July 23. Unfortunately he lost in his first match to Elix Skipper.

    NWA World champion A.J. Styles beat D-Lo Brown in a best-of-three-matches series on July 23.

    Kid Kash beat Rick Morton, his original trainer, on July 30.

    Konnan, Ron Killings and B.G. James are now collectively known as 3 Live Krew. The trio filmed some strange vignettes in a trailer park and a Mexican restaurant before their official debut on August 13.

    Dusty Rhodes returned on August 13. 'The American Dream' teamed with America's Most Wanted to beat Simon Diamond, Johnny Swinger and Glen Gilberti.

    Low Ki also returned to NWA: TNA on August 13. He put A.J. Styles over in the main event.


In the Ratings

RAW

July 21: 4.2
July 28: 4.2
August 4: 4.0
August 11: 3.9

SmackDown!

July 17: 3.4
July 24: 3.4
July 31: 3.4
August 7: 3.0

Signs of The Times

The guy behind me can't see - SmackDown!, July 10
Sars section - SmackDown!, July 10
I'm laughing at you Kane - Raw, July 14
Kane uses J.R.'s BBQ Sauce - Raw, July 21
Stephanie is a McMAN - Raw, July 18
Free ticket - Raw, July 28
We took our honeymoon on Raw - Raw, Aug 4
This Raw is only 70% as good as an American one - Raw, Aug 4
La Resistinks - Raw, Aug 4.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute...


"I swear, and I'm not just saying this..." - Tazz, SmackDown July 10

"The Big Show's fingers are the size of most people's wrists. I'm not exaggerating. That's straight up: it's the truth" - Tazz, SmackDown July 10

"Not the (ring) steps! They're about 400-500 pounds!" - Tazz, talking total gooseberry fool again, SmackDown July 10

"Lance Storm can't believe it. Not only is he boring, he's on a losing streak." - Jerry Lawler, Raw July 14.

"Sold out in Fresno, California. (It's) 111 degrees here today." - Michael Cole, SmackDown! July 24

"Yeah, it's hot. It's like the Himalayas." - Tazz (in response)

"Punk, I'm going to kill off your career before it ever gets started." - Shawn Michaels to Randy Orton, Raw July 28

"You see Gowen favouring his right leg, the leg Mr McMahon worked on on Sunday." - Michael Cole, taking about the one-legged Zack Gowen, SmackDown! July 31

"Randy Orton always puts a smile on my face." - Triple H, Raw Aug 4

"Goldberg's a lot of flash, right? I'm the real deal. He's all show, no go. I'm all go, baby," - Triple H, as he was virtually immobile after suffering another injury, Raw Aug 4.


Velvet Sky BLOWOUT

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TNA's Velvet Sky slapping her arse. Yesterday. Officially the greatest moment in TNA history.

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Velvet Sky Photos (2)
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Velvet Sky Gifs
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AJ Lee Gifs
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SoCal Val BLOWOUT
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TITAN TRON SIZE

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Kaitlyn Photos
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_________________
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Last edited by KKLEIN on Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:41 pm, edited 85 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:05 pm 
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1st post in the best thread :o

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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:06 pm 
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It's like we never moved; this is ridiculously organised :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:06 pm 
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First page. 8-)

Great work with the opening post, KK. Will you be continuing with the ever changing titles to entice non-regulars into the thread? :P


#GRAPL

Now here: viewtopic.php?p=652#p652

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Last edited by Drumstick on Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:51 pm, edited 25 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:07 pm 
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AKA: Stealth Troll
It's good to see you here KKLEIN, but for god's sake get your avatar sorted now.

Summerslam tonight then, and I'm still unsure whethere ot not I'll buy.

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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
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AKA: Deadpool / sntaa
BAM!

I'm here, of course.

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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
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We're back baby! 8-)


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 Post subject: Re: The Wrestling Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:11 pm 
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...And we're back.

And after 5 minutes of fiddling around I finally found my avatar.

:lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:13 pm 
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Any chance of a sticky, Pell? ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:13 pm 
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AKA: DAT MAF
Whos staying up for Summerslam tonight then?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:15 pm 
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Mafro wrote:
Whos staying up for Summerslam tonight then?


I am , should be quite good.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:16 pm 
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AKA: Ryallback
Drumstick - voldo now.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:17 pm 
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I'm not going to break from tradition so I won't be ordering Summerslam. I do want to see what happens in the Hell in the Cell match though, Edge has been absolutely superb for the last several weeks in his promos.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:18 pm 
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Craig wrote:
Drumstick - voldo now.

...

But I love this avatar! :cry:

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Corazon de Leon wrote:
I once allied myself, as a human, with the Alpha Wolf.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:19 pm 
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Drumstick wrote:
Craig wrote:
Drumstick - voldo now.

...

But I love this avatar! :cry:


You moaned at me for changing mine a few years back, so now I'm returning the favour.

;)


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:20 pm 
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For the first time in ages, Sky Sports edited Smackdown on Friday in a major way. It was an awful show anyway, but the whole final angle was cut, in its place 3 video packages. Squash matches, no main event to speak of...it was practically Velocity.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:20 pm 
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AKA: Deadpool / sntaa
Voldo. Angel Dust is for MSN.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:21 pm 
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I got all my old toys down from the loft at my parents house yesterday. I found my entire collection of WWF figures complete with my ring. I currently have it on display in my lounge with Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior frozen in time in a recreation of Wrestlemania 6. Pics will follow when my girlfriend isn't about!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:23 pm 
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KKLEIN wrote:
For the first time in ages, Sky Sports edited Smackdown on Friday in a major way. It was an awful show anyway, but the whole final angle was cut, in its place 3 video packages. Squash matches, no main event to speak of...it was practically Velocity.


I noticed that on another forum, and so I watched the cut section from the end of the show on Youtube yesterday. I didn't think it was too bad in all honesty, it was just Edge acting like a psycho really. Although he did fling Vickie out of her wheelchair again so maybe that's why they cut it.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:23 pm 
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KKLEIN wrote:
For the first time in ages, Sky Sports edited Smackdown on Friday in a major way. It was an awful show anyway, but the whole final angle was cut, in its place 3 video packages. Squash matches, no main event to speak of...it was practically Velocity.


Benjamin vs Hardy was a great match on that show.

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