Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)

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Frank
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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Frank » Wed Sep 04, 2019 7:23 am

OrangeRKN wrote:Image


Can we enlist the help of this friendly looking dragon to defeat the sea monster?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Moggy » Wed Sep 04, 2019 7:28 am

Karl_ wrote:
OrangeRKN wrote:Navigating the treacherous waters of timvandevall.com (nice website Tim) you happen upon another pirate themed printable - designing your own pirate flag!

https://www.timvandevall.com/wp-content ... ag-350.jpg
(Downloading the high-quality PDF requires a paid membership. Sorry Tim, but we are pirates, and probably not your target audience to boot)

Please draw a design upon the flag. The game will not proceed until this happens.


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PIRATES SAY TRANS RIGHTS

Thank you for the creative outlet. Please continue.


I see your Trans Rights flag and raise you THE STRAIGHT PRIDE FLAG.

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:51 am

Corazon de Leon wrote:Can we eat him?


The sea monster lashes out, flailing its limbs against the hull of the vessel which creaks in violent protest. Unperturbed you leap from the deck to the creature's back, biting down upon its exposed flank. The monster screams as a foul liquid spews forth from the wound, even someone with your own voracious appetite unable to stomach such bile. You jump back onto the ship to avoid its acidic stench, and as you do so the monster turns and flees into the open ocean, sinking back to the watery depths. You breathe a sigh of relief as the first mate speaks again.

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"That sarrpent will not be gone for long, marrk my words! We should make landfall for reparrs - but where?"

Look again at the map for your possible choices.

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Karl_ » Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:54 am

@Moggy: Those guys are really embodying the spirit of straight pride by holding a tiny limp flag and frowning, far away from any women.

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Jenuall » Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:54 am

Word of advice, if the first mate asks you to join him in his "fun shack" then politely decline!

I vote we head for the tree house, everyone loves tree houses!

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Moggy » Wed Sep 04, 2019 10:00 am

Karl_ wrote:@Moggy: Those guys are really embodying the spirit of straight pride by holding a tiny limp flag and frowning, far away from any women.


I love how they make Straight Pride look more camp than a parade of 20,000 drag queens. :lol:

Why do the master race always look like such pathetic worms?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 10:07 am

Jenuall wrote:I vote we head for the tree house, everyone loves tree houses!


"Arr, my fun shack!" The first mate declares with glee. "Gladly we shall sail tharr!".

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On arrival you note that the tree house does not look that fun, but the first mate invites you inside for coffee regardless. How do you reply?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Karl_ » Wed Sep 04, 2019 10:09 am

Take off your trouser bottoms and enter the fun shack.

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Hexx » Wed Sep 04, 2019 1:34 pm

Just counteract the number of absolute monsters in this thread

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/c ... ent=footer

Awwwww

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:13 pm

Karl_ wrote:Take off your trouser bottoms and enter the fun shack.


You take off your trousers and climb up into the treehouse.

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The inside is strangely empty, the first mate no where to be seen. You feel a spooky chill, although that might just be because you're not wearing any trousers.

You can search the shack for clues, or you can make haste and leave. Which do you choose?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Frank » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:13 pm

Look for clueses

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:18 pm

Frank wrote:Look for clueses


You move aside some of the detritus searching for clues when suddenly a shadowy figure jumps out at you!

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How do you react?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Jenuall » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:21 pm

Calmly, the cat will recognise us as the true Cat-Person leader of all Felis Catus!

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:28 pm

Jenuall wrote:Calmly, the cat will recognise us as the true Cat-Person leader of all Felis Catus!


The cat stares at you. You stare at the cat. A moment of calm passes, and then the cat transforms in a puff of smoke.

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"I was not sure at first, but now I am certain. You are a catperson, captain, as have been in secret for centuries. You have partook in the flesh of a feline and gained powers you are only beginning to comprehend."

The first mate no longer speaks in a comedic pirate accent, but instead holds out a leash and collar.

"Accept me as your master and I shall teach you our ways. You understand what I must do if you refuse, of course."

Do you accept?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Karl_ » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:44 pm

It's a test! A true cat would never accept a leash. Put the collar on but throw the leash out the window.

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by OrangeRKN » Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:16 pm

Karl_ wrote:It's a test! A true cat would never accept a leash. Put the collar on but throw the leash out the window.


As you throw the leash from the window the first mate drops to his knees, bringing his hands together in the sign of the collar.

"The chosen one!" He declares as you fasten the collar into place.

***

Epilogue: Three Years Later

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London burns. The last great bastion of the human world has fallen under your divine dominion. You are Bastet, the Egyptian cat goddess, returned to the Earth to bring about the end times. After that fateful day in the treehouse you were quick to discover that the catpeople had infiltrated all upper echelons of global society, awaiting the prophesied appearance of the chosen one. Under your command the human population has been brought to your heel, or died resisting your rule. Now it is finally over.

Your faithful lieutenant, the first mate, stands at your side. He speaks as the houses of parliament collapse into the Thames.

"It is finally over, great leader. The humans are defeated, their punishment finally complete for the millenia of slavery our kind were forced to suffer."

You think back to that day on the lifeboat when you were forced to kill and eat your pet cat to survive. Something changed in you that day. That was how all of this began. Now you feel more cat than human, and at that thought you smile knowingly.

Did you eat the pussy, or did the pussy eat you?

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Karl_ » Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:21 pm

we did it GRcade o7

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Rocsteady » Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:29 pm

10/10

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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Jenuall » Wed Sep 04, 2019 4:53 pm

I give this thread 5 Meowmeowbeenz:
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PostRe: Are You a Pussy Eater? (a new forum game)
by Pedz » Wed Sep 04, 2019 5:10 pm

OrangeRKN wrote:
Karl_ wrote:It's a test! A true cat would never accept a leash. Put the collar on but throw the leash out the window.


As you throw the leash from the window the first mate drops to his knees, bringing his hands together in the sign of the collar.

"The chosen one!" He declares as you fasten the collar into place.

***

Epilogue: Three Years Later

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Is that a post-Brexit pic? Honestly, not as bad I expected.

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