Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
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Preezy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Preezy » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:58 pm

Just used some of these with the in-laws for extra brownie points :slol: 8-)

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Moggy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Moggy » Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:30 am

"Benjamin Button"

"Benjamin who?"

"Benjamin"

"Who's there"

"Knock knock"

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Ironhide
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Location: Autobot City

PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Ironhide » Sun Jul 21, 2019 6:22 pm

Moggy wrote:"Benjamin Button"

"Benjamin who?"

"Benjamin"

"Who's there"

"Knock knock"


:lol: .tnaillirb

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FatDaz
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by FatDaz » Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:11 am

Why should you never wear Ukrainian boxer shorts

because Cher-nob’ll fallout

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Ironhide
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Ironhide » Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:09 pm

An Englishman an Irishman and an American are stood at a bar enjoying their last round of the evening and are all quite drunk.

The American turns to the Irishman and says "did you know that when you've drunk 10 pints you can fly?", "Bollocks" replies the Irishman.

The American cockily says "come up on the roof and I'll show you then" so the trio head to the roof where the American walks to the edge, leaps off and proceeds to show off his flying abilities.

The Irishman not wanting to be left out, takes a running leap and plummets to his death.

The Englishman turns to the American and says "strawberry floating hell Superman, you're an evil bastard when you're pissed!"

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Moggy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Moggy » Sun Aug 04, 2019 7:42 am

How do you groom a horse?

Pretend to be a little girl on the internet

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Blue Eyes
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Blue Eyes » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:22 am

What's pink and hard in the morning?

The Financial Times crossword

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Preezy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Preezy » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:52 am

I chortled.

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Blue Eyes
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Blue Eyes » Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:27 am

How does Jacque Chirac get his bread delivered?

He has a baguette pushed through his chat-flap every morning

How do you keep a French person from coming to your party?

Put up a sign saying "no nudity"

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RichardUK
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by RichardUK » Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:07 pm

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

There's one less drunk.

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'Put on a proper suit, do up your tie and sing the national anthem'
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Blue Eyes
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Blue Eyes » Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:14 pm

:dread:

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Moggy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Moggy » Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:26 pm

    RichardUK wrote:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

    There's one less drunk.


    What’s the difference between owning a Bavarian home and having to sell a Bavarian home?

    strawberry float knows but at least this joke isn’t xenophobic bollocks you daft banana split.

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    IAmTheSaladMan
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    PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
    by IAmTheSaladMan » Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:05 pm

    A bloke finds a dirty old glass bottle while digging in the garden. Thinking it may be valuable he takes it inside to wash it.

    To his surprise while drying the bottle a genie appears and proclaims, "Thank you master for freeing me from the bottle. To repay you I shall grant you three wishes but be aware whatever you wish for your ex wife will receive twofold"

    Right away the man says "I wish for a grand mansion", the genie replies "Granted, but remember your ex wife receives 2 grand mansions"

    The man agrees and makes his second wish "I wish for a top of the range sports car", the genie responds "Granted, but remember your ex wife receives 2 top of the range sports cars"

    The man agrees then says "Those wishes were rather frivolous, I need a couple of days to think about my third wish if that's okay", the genie agrees to give him time to think then returns 2 days later.

    The man says "I've thought about this very carefully" pauses for a moment before adding "I wish to donate a kidney"

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    Vermilion
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    PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
    by Vermilion » Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:20 pm

    JediDragon05 wrote:What do you call a three legged donkey?.

    Wonky


    It's gotta rhyme!

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    False
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    PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
    by False » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:20 pm

    Moggy wrote:
      RichardUK wrote:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

      There's one less drunk.


      What’s the difference between owning a Bavarian home and having to sell a Bavarian home?

      strawberry float knows but at least this joke isn’t xenophobic bollocks you daft banana split.


      dont be a dick the irish joke is fine

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      Jenuall
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      PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
      by Jenuall » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:27 pm

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      Moggy
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      PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
      by Moggy » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:27 pm

      False wrote:
      Moggy wrote:
        RichardUK wrote:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

        There's one less drunk.


        What’s the difference between owning a Bavarian home and having to sell a Bavarian home?

        strawberry float knows but at least this joke isn’t xenophobic bollocks you daft banana split.


        dont be a dick the irish joke is fine


        Sure.

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        Pedz
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        PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
        by Pedz » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:30 pm

        Can I call someone a xenophobic banana split the next time they bring up sheep shagging?

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        Moggy
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        PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
        by Moggy » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:31 pm

        Pedz wrote:Can I call someone a xenophobic banana split the next time they bring up sheep shagging?


        Who’s stopping you?

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        Jenuall
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        PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
        by Jenuall » Tue Aug 13, 2019 4:36 pm

        Moggy wrote:
        Pedz wrote:Can I call someone a xenophobic banana split the next time they bring up sheep shagging?


        Who’s stopping you?

        The shepherd hopefully.

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