Bad Joke Thread | Jokes on you, these are great!

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
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Kezzer
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PostBad Joke Thread | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Kezzer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:12 am

They told me I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic…..but so far I've made three jugs and a vase!

Last edited by Kezzer on Wed Sep 08, 2021 3:29 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Hexx » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:18 am

What do you call a wizard good at giving hickies?

A necromancer

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Kezzer
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Kezzer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:20 am

Whats made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones

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Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Moggy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:22 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it wanted to

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Jenuall » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:22 am

Went to the supermarket in France the other week and even though the place had been cleaned out it was still packed in the champignon section. I turned to the guy next to me and:

"blimey, there's not mushroom in here is there!"

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Preezy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:25 am

Some of those jokes are actually funny, thread does not deliver 2/10 would suggest locking.

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Kezzer
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Kezzer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:25 am

Whilst cooking last night, I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes.

i’m now parsley sighted

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Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Hexx » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:29 am

Preezy wrote:Some of those jokes are actually funny


Mine right? cus the rest are shite.

Why is there no nightclub on the moon?

Because there's just no atmosphere up there

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Moggy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday
by Moggy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:32 am

Preezy wrote:Some of those jokes are actually funny, thread does not deliver 2/10 would suggest locking.


Just for you I googled “worst joke ever” and here is the first one.

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

ROFL!!

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Jenuall » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:33 am

Tenuous Movie Title Joke #245

What do you call a single unit of sodium chloride found on a wash basin production line run by teen-wolf?

A salt on pre-sink fur-teen! (Assualt on Precinct 13)

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Kezzer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:34 am

I downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody. I think it was filmed in the cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.

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Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Tafdolphin » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:46 am

My mate got himself a cloning machine. I told him I had no idea what it actually does.

"That makes two of us."

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Kezzer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:59 am

Man walks into a funeral and asks the widow if he might say a word.

By all means, she says.

He stands up and says "bargain", and sits back down.

Thanks, says the widow. That means a great deal.

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Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Moggy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:05 am

There was a man who couldn’t speak properly and he went out to do some shopping.

At the bakers he said “could I have a bum please?” “What!!” said the baker “A bum!” “A bum? Do you mean a bun?” “Yes!” he said and he left the shop with his purchase.

At the garden centre he asked the assistant “could I have a fuckit?” “What!” the assistant said “A fuckit!” “Do you mean a bucket?” “Yes!” he said and walked out with his bucket.

At the watchmakers he asked for a “Cock please!” “what!!!” said the owner “A cock please” “Do you mean a clock?” “Yes!” he said and walked out.

As he was walking down the road, a man stopped him and asked for the time.

“Hold my bum and fuckit while I get my cock out!”

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Preezy
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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Preezy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:07 am

So immature :lol: :fp:

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Moggy » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:09 am

Preezy wrote:So immature :lol: :fp:


It was one of my favourite jokes when I was a kid. :lol:

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by McCoughlan » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:28 pm

What's the most depressing group of people?

Youth in Asia. They're always asking to be killed.

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Jenuall » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:38 pm

Q: Why do I always feels dissatisfied and as if there is a lack of excitement when I'm playing video games?

A: Because I'm playing ennui!

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by False » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:45 pm

this thread is strawberry floating brilliant, Im growing my dad joke repository

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PostRe: Bad Joke Friday | Jokes on you, these are great!
by Cumberdanes » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:47 pm

Did you hear about the gay magician?

He disappeared with a poof

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