Beating a drug test

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Rapidly-Greying
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PostBeating a drug test
by Rapidly-Greying » Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:27 pm

I got a job today at amazon but they told me I'll have to take a drug test. I think it's a mouth swab. I don't smoke weed but I will have opiates and benzos in my system. Should I just not bother turning up or does anyone know of how to beat it?

I've no chance of being able to stop straight away so there will definitely be some in my system when the test comes along in a few weeks. I don't take crazy amounts, just enough to make life bareable and stop the shakes, I certainly don't do enough to get high.

I've heard of brushing teeth about 5 times and using a super strong mouth wash but I'm not convinced. I really want out of my current job as its the worst I've ever had,but it looks like I might be stuck with it for the time being.

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Moggy
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Moggy » Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:49 pm

Walk in eating a poppy seed bagel. Then when you fail the test say "oh gooseberry fool! It must have been the bagel!"

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Grumpy David
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Grumpy David » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:17 pm

Moggy's method is probably your best option. :lol:

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Dual
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Dual » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:21 pm

Don't really think this is the place to be asking how to hide a drug addiction from an employer.

Edit: I've just realised that might have come across quite callous and I didn't mean it to. Hope everything is ok OP.

Last edited by Dual on Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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JCDenton
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by JCDenton » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:27 pm

Addiction's another form of slavery.

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ITSMILNER
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by ITSMILNER » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:28 pm

Rapidly-Greying wrote:benzos in my system.


I thought he was in the solar system, not yours

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Victor Mildew » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:36 pm

According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back.

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Return_of_the_STAR
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Return_of_the_STAR » Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:15 pm

Rapidly-Greying wrote:I got a job today at amazon but they told me I'll have to take a drug test. I think it's a mouth swab. I don't smoke weed but I will have opiates and benzos in my system. Should I just not bother turning up or does anyone know of how to beat it?

I've no chance of being able to stop straight away so there will definitely be some in my system when the test comes along in a few weeks. I don't take crazy amounts, just enough to make life bareable and stop the shakes, I certainly don't do enough to get high.

I've heard of brushing teeth about 5 times and using a super strong mouth wash but I'm not convinced. I really want out of my current job as its the worst I've ever had,but it looks like I might be stuck with it for the time being.


In all seriousness the problem you face is Amazon along with a lot of similar companies now enforce random drug testing. If you manage to pass this one that you know you will face in a few weeks that's one thing but the reality is you will get tested at random with short to no notice.

As for the actual test it depends how in-depth they are, a positive for opioid could be explained by the use of codeine for pain relief if they don't dig too deeply. You could attempt to pass it off as this however as I say it all depends on the test.

I don't know much about benzos. Again you may be able to tell that you are on diazapam or similar to help you sleep.

I don't know your background and history but have you approached your GP about prescribed substitutes to help with your addiction and to get off them?

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Skarjo
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Skarjo » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:27 am

Moggy wrote:Walk in eating a poppy seed bagel. Then when you fail the test say "oh gooseberry fool! It must have been the bagel!"


"But you also tested positive for cocaine and MDMA"

"Yea, it was an everything bagel"

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Rapidly-Greying
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Rapidly-Greying » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:48 am

Just for the record, I'm not a junkie. I have some serious anxiety and depression issues and I've found doctors to be useless, so resorted to self medicating. I'll delete this thread in the morning when others have read my last post here.

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That
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by That » Fri Jun 25, 2021 2:12 am

I don't have any advice but FWIW I hope you can find a way to secure the job you want.

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Curls
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Curls » Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:50 am

A bit of weed does no harm to anyone, really irritating they're testing you for that. They should be breathalysing all staff every morning too.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Rocsteady » Fri Jun 25, 2021 6:22 am

It's total bullshit employers can test you at all, unless you're operating heavy machinery.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Victor Mildew » Fri Jun 25, 2021 7:01 am

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Rex Kramer
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Rex Kramer » Fri Jun 25, 2021 7:59 am

Victor Mildew wrote:According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back.


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Tomous
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Tomous » Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:41 am

Ask/search on reddit.

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VlaSoul
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by VlaSoul » Fri Jun 25, 2021 9:41 am

That's rough buddy, best of luck. As RotS said, you might have reasonable excuses for taking these meds as painkillers, but they will randomly drug test you again in the future, so easiest way would be to get opiate prescriptions from a doctor.

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coldspice
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by coldspice » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:29 am

huh, I just re-watched the first episode of Workaholics before reading this

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Tafdolphin
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by Tafdolphin » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:45 am

No advice, but take care of yourself man. I hope the test goes ok and you get the job.

People making jokes in here...grow up. Seriously.

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That
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PostRe: Beating a drug test
by That » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:54 am

Rocsteady wrote:It's total bullshit employers can test you at all, unless you're operating heavy machinery.

For sure. It's dystopian. The corporation you work for shouldn't have control over how you relax at home.

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