Bro Moments

Hey y'all, Light here. So the past month I've been working on a goat farm. I've had two male colleagues, one of whom is gone back to France and one of whom comes from Italy. Let's call the Italian guy Dimitri. I've sort of been stepping out of my comfort zone with them, by doing stuff I'd usually never do (we've gone to the pub twice a week every week, I used never drink alcohol)

Anyways me and Dimitri were walking home from the pub last night. It's the countryside with no buses, so it was a two hour walk. We had been discussing stuff on his Facebook while we were in the pub, and when we were walking I said that I fancied his gay friend who had put up a bunch of shirtless swimming pics. Dimitri then said he'd screenshot the pics and send them to me. I hadn't even asked (it hadn't even crossed my mind) but it was really cool. It's like "Okay, I'm straight and you're gay, but you're my friend so I've got you bro, I'll send you those pics". It was very much a "bro moment". Maybe an unorthodox one idk, but I appreciate it a lot.

So my question for this thread is what are your bro moments? What's some interactions you've had with friends which really solidified your friendship and the bond you have with one another? Maybe something that seems utterly stupid to someone out of context, but something that meant a great deal to you/your friend.

Every post between me and my bros on here is an epic Bro Moment.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:my bros

I don't know if this is too heavy for this thread but:

i would not be here today if it was for a small handful of friends who each supported me in different ways. Not to downplay the support of everyone else at the time (everyone was great) but these 3 people in particular saved my life when I was suicidal and were there for me for the months it took me to get out of that mindset. None of them will accept that they did this and tried to give me credit for being strong. But I would be dead without them.

Also, the same friends (plus another one) were all very accepting when they found out I was asexual. A lot of other people say it doesn't exist or I'm probably just closeted gay or I'm trying to get attention (despite not really broadcasting it). My friend defends me and explains that asexuality is as valid an orientation (or lack thereof) as heterosexuality, bisexuality or homosexuality. To be clear, I can hold my own on this issue but since a lot of the talk goes o behind my back I'm not in a position to say anything where as she was

My first solo trip to Japan I was so anxious and lonely I wasn't really enjoying it. My friend made she was available in her 30 minute lunch break, to check in with me and see how my day had been. She did that every day I was on holiday and that contact lifted a massive weight and I loved every minute of the holiday after that.

And finally, once again while I was going through a bad patch with my depression, my friend dropped everything she was doing and drove 12 miles just to be with me and make sure I was ok

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:my bros

How did you get hold of mine, Preezy and Rocsteady's sexy photoshoot?

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Every post between me and my bros on here is an epic Bro Moment.

\o/


I remember years back I was feeling down so a mate called round with a 70cl of 89% absinthe. I was bulking hard at the time so was on 8 pints of milk a day, the last memory of the night I have was about an hour in where I threw up what looked like cheese curds all over the street. Happy bro memories.

Outrunner wrote:Also, the same friends (plus another one) were all very accepting when they found out I was asexual. A lot of other people say it doesn't exist or I'm probably just closeted gay or I'm trying to get attention (despite not really broadcasting it). My friend defends me and explains that asexuality is as valid an orientation (or lack thereof) as heterosexuality, bisexuality or homosexuality.

I'm sorry you've faced so much ignorance coming out as ace, pal. Acephobic views sadly aren't uncommon. In some people it's down to lack of knowledge and they just need to be brought up to speed, but in others it runs much deeper and boils down to these very deeply ingrained prescriptive, allonormative views on the role of sexuality in relationships & self-perception. Sounds like you have some great friends looking out for you though!

Outrunner wrote:I don't know if this is too heavy for this thread but:

i would not be here today if it was for a small handful of friends who each supported me in different ways. Not to downplay the support of everyone else at the time (everyone was great) but these 3 people in particular saved my life when I was suicidal and were there for me for the months it took me to get out of that mindset. None of them will accept that they did this and tried to give me credit for being strong. But I would be dead without them.

Also, the same friends (plus another one) were all very accepting when they found out I was asexual. A lot of other people say it doesn't exist or I'm probably just closeted gay or I'm trying to get attention (despite not really broadcasting it). My friend defends me and explains that asexuality is as valid an orientation (or lack thereof) as heterosexuality, bisexuality or homosexuality. To be clear, I can hold my own on this issue but since a lot of the talk goes o behind my back I'm not in a position to say anything where as she was

My first solo trip to Japan I was so anxious and lonely I wasn't really enjoying it. My friend made she was available in her 30 minute lunch break, to check in with me and see how my day had been. She did that every day I was on holiday and that contact lifted a massive weight and I loved every minute of the holiday after that.

And finally, once again while I was going through a bad patch with my depression, my friend dropped everything she was doing and drove 12 miles just to be with me and make sure I was ok

You've always got bros here, mate.

The Guardian did a fantastic series on modern masculinity recently which chimes in with this topic.

I liked the below the best but the whole series is really worth a watch, it's only 6 short episodes.

bruh sound effect 2

i maintain that the bond between homies is the purest form of love

VlaSoul wrote:bruh sound effect 2

i maintain that the bond between homies is the purest form of love

This is true. The bond between my best mate and I is unbreakable. We might not be able to see each other for months due to work etc, but when we do, it's as if we were never apart. We've been through gooseberry fool together, and you can't take that away.

This forum - people on here have been so supportive regarding my current situation even though I probably come across as being a massive t**t most of the time, it has made me feel so much better and less alone, I don’t use Facebook or anything and apart from my parents the only contact I have is with people on here

Best Friend - back in the days when I had friends (pre relationship) I had a group of friends that I meet from the age of leaving school and starting work, I wasn’t “out” for quite some time and didn’t know how or if I even could tell anyone, I was worried that I would lose my friends or things would be weird, anyway one day out of the blue one of my friends called Michael said something like “we know your gay and it’s fine” since then we became closer and ended up going to various day trips around the UK together, going to see films, shopping or the gym daily and made a week in London and a week in Paris together, he was straight but we had a bond and a love like brothers, my other friends were also fantastic as well,

Unfortunately once I got into a relationship I had to stop seeing them, they even came to where I was living and asked me to go with them because they were worried about me because I had not been in contact with them, left my job and not been seeing my family, this was all in 2007, I told them to go, they tried a few more times and every time I ignored them, one of my friends called John refused to go because he was that worried, my partner called the police, I was so fixated on making my relationship work, obviously that’s not how a relationship should be but at the time I went along with it,

I have no friends. I mean that in the nicest possible way. I dont want any though, so that is kinda cool. People are just hassle.i dont have time for them.

RichardUK wrote:even though I probably come across as being a massive t**t most of the time

That's just cause of your patriotism man. Anyone who declares undying loyalty to Liz comes off looking like a bit of a twat. But no in all realness you seem like a solid bloke and I for one generally hope things get better for you soon.

Mommy wrote:People are just hassle.i dont have time for them.

Dogs can be bros too you know.

Karl_ wrote:

Outrunner wrote:Also, the same friends (plus another one) were all very accepting when they found out I was asexual. A lot of other people say it doesn't exist or I'm probably just closeted gay or I'm trying to get attention (despite not really broadcasting it). My friend defends me and explains that asexuality is as valid an orientation (or lack thereof) as heterosexuality, bisexuality or homosexuality.

I'm sorry you've faced so much ignorance coming out as ace, pal. Acephobic views sadly aren't uncommon. In some people it's down to lack of knowledge and they just need to be brought up to speed, but in others it runs much deeper and boils down to these very deeply ingrained prescriptive, allonormative views on the role of sexuality in relationships & self-perception. Sounds like you have some great friends looking out for you though!

Yeah acephobia is a thing and unfortunately taken less seriously than other phobias aimed at the LGBT* spectrum, though thankfully it's generally not a violent phobia. I'm a homoromantic asexual and trying to explain that to some people is like explaining quantum physics. ("You're asexual? But you like guys, you like to be kissed and you look at shirtless photos" "well yeah it's a spectrum")

I'm glad you've gotten supportive friends Outrunner!

RichardUK wrote:Unfortunately once I got into a relationship I had to stop seeing them, they even came to where I was living and asked me to go with them because they were worried about me because I had not been in contact with them, left my job and not been seeing my family, this was all in 2007, I told them to go, they tried a few more times and every time I ignored them, one of my friends called John refused to go because he was that worried, my partner called the police, I was so fixated on making my relationship work, obviously that’s not how a relationship should be but at the time I went along with it,

This is very saddening to read, sorry to hear that your relationship managed to make you so much lonelier.

When you're ready to, down the line, it might be worth trying to reach back out to your old friends if at all possible. If they were great friends in the past, there's a chance they'll be far more accepting if you explain what happened than you might think.

Brokoon

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Every post between me and my bros on here is an epic Bro Moment.

This guy right here, this guy knows

Sorry for the late reply guys (not very bro like!) but I've had a rare busy weekend with the protest, a celebratory meal and then seeing family I hadn't visited in a while)

Karl_ wrote:I'm sorry you've faced so much ignorance coming out as ace, pal. Acephobic views sadly aren't uncommon. In some people it's down to lack of knowledge and they just need to be brought up to speed, but in others it runs much deeper and boils down to these very deeply ingrained prescriptive, allonormative views on the role of sexuality in relationships & self-perception. Sounds like you have some great friends looking out for you though!

LightWanderer wrote:Yeah acephobia is a thing and unfortunately taken less seriously than other phobias aimed at the LGBT* spectrum, though thankfully it's generally not a violent phobia. I'm a homoromantic asexual and trying to explain that to some people is like explaining quantum physics. ("You're asexual? But you like guys, you like to be kissed and you look at shirtless photos" "well yeah it's a spectrum")

I'm glad you've gotten supportive friends Outrunner!

Thanks Karl, thanks Light. I don't mind the ignorance that is just that, something they've never heard of before but they're open to listening and understanding. I don't even mind follow-up questions if it helps people get their head round it. That's absolutely fine. And to be fair, so far, mostly what I've experienced. It's the idea from a minority that I don't know myself and there's either something medically wrong with me or it's some sort of stop gap to coming out as gay. I've had people talk behind my back about how they think I'm gay not ace, I've had one person tell me I probably haven't found the right person yet and I should keep trying and one person ask how do I know I'm not gay unless I try gay sex (probably the same reason you know you are gay and not straight but I'm not pushing you to have sex with women all the time just to make sure). I mean how many times to I have to have sex before my orientation is valid? And with how many partners. One seems pretty low, maybe 10, maybe 100?

This came about after years of soul searching and a few failed relationships. For the longest time I thought I was broken. I'd never heard of asexuality and when I did and read up on it, it felt right and everything just clicked into place. This is one of the few aspects of my life I'm 100% certain about and 100% happy with. I don't get why a small minority seem desperate for me to be anything but ace

Sorry, I didn't mean to make torn this thread into my own peronal awaking thread

Somebody Else's Problem wrote:You've always got bros here, mate.

Thanks! I'll always remember back in 2014 when I was suicidal, posted something here about it and disappeared. You guys were worried enough about me to actually find out where I worked and phoned me to make sure I was ok. I was going through a really rough patch at the time and the fact that people in a forum, who I'd never met, cared enough to go to that effort meant so much to me. I'm embarrassed to say I have forgotten which forumite actually did call me, but thank you for that. Also a special thanks to Bunni, Denster, everyone in the 'Mental Health' thread and everyone else who has reached out to me over the years when I've gone through mental health stuff. And I apologise for to those that have reached out and due to my anxieties I've failed to get back to in a timely manner. I may not post here often or regularly but this is by far the best forum I've been a part of.