GRcade

To be fair, I don't envy people living in flats. Like most people, I went through a period where I lived in one when I was younger and it was definitely on a different level of internal noise irritation to any other place I've lived in.

And I didn't even have bad neighbours. They were just doing normal stuff but the noise insulation between floors was so useless everything got amplified and drove me up the wall at times.

You learn to deal with it to some extent though.

Imrahil wrote:To be fair, I don't envy people living in flats. Like most people, I went through a period where I lived in one when I was younger and it was definitely on a different level of internal noise irritation to any other place I've lived in.

And I didn't even have bad neighbours. They were just doing normal stuff but the noise insulation between floors was so useless everything got amplified and drove me up the wall at times.

You learn to deal with it to some extent though.

All of this is true. I'm in a flat and the noise from neighbours drives me crazy.

But I'm aware enough to realise that there's not much that can be done. Flats are gooseberry fool, I can't be complaining to a neighbour just because they are doing normal things like opening a wardrobe.

https://www.tinnitus.org.uk/misophonia- ... misophonia

I think there may be some deeper-seated issues than just a noisy wardrobe here.

Moggy wrote:

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:It is loud and causes in vibrations because it is a fixed wardrobe. Therefore the door slides open and shut and has full contact with the floor. How else can I explain it?

So is it broken or just loud?

It must be broken in some way as her other wardrobe doesn't cause such heavy thumping when it is open and closed. Yes I can hear it but it does cause tremors in my flat like this one does.

N1FFF, I think it's hard to convey to a forum the effect something like this can have and it's very easy to come off as unreasonable.

Please can you provide a video so we can hear/see for ourselves?

I have mild misophonia so I can understand to a degree.

Grumpy David wrote:

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:I am so shocked that you both seemed to have failed to read what I have written.
Wardrobe is broken
Wardrobe door slides along the bare floor

Bare floor as in no carpets? It's very often the case that leaseholds have a clause in them about rooms needing carpet (bathroom and kitchen not included).

Does your leasehold agreement allow this?

Very good point but unfortunately the leasehold does not state this. I've already complained to the council about how ridiculous it is that their leasehold terms does not state this.

Drumstick wrote:N1FFF, I think it's hard to convey to a forum the effect something like this can have and it's very easy to come off as unreasonable.

Please can you provide a video so we can hear/see for ourselves?

I have mild misophonia so I can understand to a degree.

Thanks I will try however since I posted this letter to her I doubt it will happen again for some time.
Maybe I can ask her to open it like normal whilst I record it?
Basically it's loud with lots of vibrations that if you were in the middle of a conservation you would not be heard.

I don't think the point about carpet is likely to be relevant - it sounds like this is a built in wardrobe rather than a freestanding one so it will be attached directly to the floor rather than sitting on top of carpet.

Can I ask, how many times a day is your neighbour opening an closing her wardrobe to make you feel this distressed over it?

Moggy wrote:You live in a flat. You are always going to hear the neighbours. Opening a wardrobe is not "unacceptable", it's a perfectly normal thing for people to do.

This.

For strawberry float sake n1fff, I understand it's annoying and I went through similar with my neighbour's dryer being on 4 hours a day and it took me a while to realise... that I live in a flat and I am going to hear people doing things such as their washing and opening and closing doors.

unless you live above and below people who are bedbound, you are going to hear these noises. Even then, what if their carers have heavy feet? Are you going to write them a note asking for them not to provide assistance to your bed bound neighbour? You are going to end up having someone at your door telling you to leave them alone. One note might be fine, but two notes IS harassment.

Again, I understand you are sensitive to noise, but I think looking at yourself before trying to manage the way someone else lives their life might help.

Kezzer wrote:No.1FFF have you considered a signal generator to try and cancel out the vibrations? I am no physicist but I think it will work.

I am deceased after reading this.

In the nicest possible way I do think there's an element of self reflection that might be warranted here N1FFF - how many times have these kind of things come up where pretty much everyone seems to agree that the viewpoint you have is a little bit extreme or unrealistic?

This isn't intended as a "you're the problem" post, but I do think there is scope for exploring what you can do to manage the response you have to some of the things that happen around you. There's only so much you can do about how other people behave, particularly if what they are doing is broadly in line with what would be considered acceptable by most.

I sympathise with being sensitive to noise but you also have to look at this from her point of view. Imagine living your life in a perfectly reasonable way, moving about your flat, the wardrobe maybe be a bit noisy but it's not like your there 7 hours a day opening and closing it. Hell, you might even be a bit clumsy and drop things from time to time. Then your neighbour downstairs talks to you/posts a note complaining about the noise. Fair enough, you may have been a bit noisy, you want to be a good neighbour so you modify your behaviour. But you're only human so don't always remember. And then you get another note complaining that you still aren't tiptoeing around the flat like a cat. So now you're in a situation where literally every single thing you do in the flat makes you think "god, am I disturbing my neighbour". Modifying your behaviour to that extent and the stress over whether she's going to disturb you at any given point has got to be stressful and wear on her nerves.

Got scammed by plumbers vastly overcharging for a boiler repair, so I really feel like a homeowner now.

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Thank you Kezzer for that it is much appreciated. I like your sensible shortened version. But the first one is funny. I have thought about sticking notices on the stairways and lifts actually lol
I have added a paragraph at the end about the loud footfall. I understand some people are stompers and cannot walk quietly. Was so hard to word it in a way without calling her fat.

I found an old poster that might be helpful

Outrunner wrote:I sympathise with being sensitive to noise but you also have to look at this from her point of view. Imagine living your life in a perfectly reasonable way, moving about your flat, the wardrobe maybe be a bit noisy but it's not like your there 7 hours a day opening and closing it. Hell, you might even be a bit clumsy and drop things from time to time. Then your neighbour downstairs talks to you/posts a note complaining about the noise. Fair enough, you may have been a bit noisy, you want to be a good neighbour so you modify your behaviour. But you're only human so don't always remember. And then you get another note complaining that you still aren't tiptoeing around the flat like a cat. So now you're in a situation where literally every single thing you do in the flat makes you think "god, am I disturbing my neighbour". Modifying your behaviour to that extent and the stress over whether she's going to disturb you at any given point has got to be stressful and wear on her nerves.

Hmmm but she's recently seems to have forgotten as it has been getting worse again. Plus I believe she rents that room so new tenant not behaving.
Hopefully she's fine with my polite reminder.
If I was in her shoes I would have gotten rid of that wardrobe and also bought a rug for areas of high footfall. I would certainly do a lot more if I was in her shoes but then maybe I have more respect for others and more self conscious than she is? Just seems like she isn't trying hard enough.

speedboatchase wrote:Got scammed by plumbers vastly overcharging for a boiler repair, so I really feel like a homeowner now.

Get your money back! Paid using a credit card? Your credit card company can help.
Plumbers tried to scam me for a massive call out charge. I give them a peace of my mind over the phone and they left me alone after

I'll be honest, if you came to my door with this id tell you politely where to go.

And having worked in for the local authority for 3 years, I can assure you they are doing absolutely nothing wrong and the council have no authority to stop what she's apparently "doing".

Kezzer wrote:

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Thank you Kezzer for that it is much appreciated. I like your sensible shortened version. But the first one is funny. I have thought about sticking notices on the stairways and lifts actually lol
I have added a paragraph at the end about the loud footfall. I understand some people are stompers and cannot walk quietly. Was so hard to word it in a way without calling her fat.

I found an old poster that might be helpful


[img]

https://i.imgur.com/DNBB8Sh.png

[/img]

Thanks your the best Kezzer! Will get a few copies printed off now

Are we being trolled?