Dad, I’ve something to tell you...

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suzzopher
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PostDad, I’ve something to tell you...
by suzzopher » Mon Jul 29, 2019 9:42 pm

I’m a white nationalist!

That was a conversation that took place tonight whilst I had taken my son out for a driving lesson. Basically I was talking about how sick I am with the rise of the right, my son said “we’re winning, accept it” obviously I questioned what he meant and he explained how he identifies with white nationalism and the far right.

When my daughter came out as gay when she was 15, people said “how did you take it?” I didn’t care as long as she’s happy, but I can’t feel that way about my son, I love him but he goes against everything I am. I’m not sure how we move on from it either :(

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massimo
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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by massimo » Mon Jul 29, 2019 9:48 pm

Hold on, is that a direct quote or am I missing some forum joke or something?

Edit: I feel gutted for you if this is how it went down. How old is he, and how do you think he has developed these feelings?

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by KK » Mon Jul 29, 2019 9:53 pm

Do you know what first sent him down this path - friends, YouTube, social media?

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Karl_ » Mon Jul 29, 2019 9:53 pm

How old is your son?

Lots of teens go through an edgy phase where they feel like the far-right is a kind of empowering counter-culture. It's often fuelled by spending a little bit too much time online particularly in "gamer" circles. There are many popular YouTubers like PewDiePie and Joe Rogan who aren't openly far-right themselves but constantly push far-right messages. Lots of "gamer controversies" have far-right undertones as well, it's openly accepted across a lot of gaming subreddits (etc.) that feminism/socialism/etc. is "ruining games".

Most teens grow out of it once they go to University and meet all sorts of different people and through that realise they are being idiots.

I have no experience at all parenting so I don't know if there's anything you can do to help that process along. Having a gay sister might help him one day realise how cruel far-right ideology is, at some point he'll have to confront the fact that these bigots think his sister is a subhuman "degenerate", but it might take time, he might be convinced at the moment that that's "edgy humour" or whatever.

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suzzopher
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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by suzzopher » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:00 pm

He’s 17, yeah he does watch a lot of YouTube gamer channels and Pewdie Pie was the topic at the time when I lambasted the far right before he dropped the bomb.

He lives in a Labour area, his mum is a labour supporter and very much on the left. Obviously I’m a bit of a lefty liberal. The rest of my family are right wing racists but not far right nationalists. He lives with his mum up north and his mum says all his friends are decent kids who talk about wanting Corbyn in power when they speak to her. So she thinks it must be online culture that has turned his head.

I’m hoping it’s a phase, but I don’t know how to talk to him at the moment.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Karl_ » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:00 pm

For what it's worth, God knows I said and did some moronic shite that I'm now ashamed of when I was in my teens. Obviously this white nationalism stuff is a pretty big "teenager mistake" but it's probably still ultimately that. You learn from those mistakes, grow as a person, try to make up for it by being and doing better. You are a good guy and I'm sure you've raised him well so you've got to believe your son will move past this.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Oblomov Boblomov » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:01 pm

Crikey. You could try to hold discussion with him, questioning his understanding of what it means to be a white nationalist and exploring his sense of empathy.

Does he plan on going to university? That will be a turning point, one way or the other... hopefully the good way.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by suzzopher » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:05 pm

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Crikey. You could try to hold discussion with him, questioning his understanding of what it means to be a white nationalist and exploring his sense of empathy.

Does he plan on going to university? That will be a turning point, one way or the other... hopefully the good way.

Yeah he’s wanting to be a journalist so is going to Uni next year, of course the world needs more right wing journalists.

Karl_ wrote:For what it's worth, God knows I said and did some moronic shite that I'm now ashamed of when I was in my teens. Obviously this white nationalism stuff is a pretty big "teenager mistake" but it's probably still ultimately that. You learn from those mistakes, grow as a person, try to make up for it by being and doing better. You are a good guy and I'm sure you've raised him well so you've got to believe your son will move past this.


That’s what has confused me so much, I’ve always talked about diversity and treating people as you want to be treated.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by OrangeRKN » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:07 pm

What Happened After My 13-Year-Old Son Joined the Alt-Right might be a useful read in some way - not exactly the same situation, but it runs through how a son was radicalised into and thankfully subsequently turned away from the alt-right.

Witty biological-political hybrid jokes are the reason this place fails to cater to a wide audience
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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Karl_ » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:32 pm

Sign him up for an account here and let us debate him. We'll make it a bet, if we win he has to apologise to you, if he wins we'll merge with the Stormfront forums.

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Unfortunately you usually can't reason someone out of an opinion they weren't reasoned into. People don't join the far-right because the neo-Nazis have really good arguments, they join because it fills an emotional hole for them. OrangeRKN's link really demonstrates that, even if the details might be different for your son. Maybe he feels insecure about his future, or disconnected from his community. It's a hard time to be young right now, maybe the future is easier to face if you're on the "winning" side? Finding out what the "hole" is might be a good start to helping him move past it.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by <]:^D » Mon Jul 29, 2019 11:01 pm

you should report him to PREVENT
better safe than sorry

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suzzopher
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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by suzzopher » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:03 am

Karl_ wrote:Sign him up for an account here and let us debate him. We'll make it a bet, if we win he has to apologise to you, if he wins we'll merge with the Stormfront forums.

---

Unfortunately you usually can't reason someone out of an opinion they weren't reasoned into. People don't join the far-right because the neo-Nazis have really good arguments, they join because it fills an emotional hole for them. OrangeRKN's link really demonstrates that, even if the details might be different for your son. Maybe he feels insecure about his future, or disconnected from his community. It's a hard time to be young right now, maybe the future is easier to face if you're on the "winning" side? Finding out what the "hole" is might be a good start to helping him move past it.


I can’t see a way to get across how important it is he be on the right side of history. But after talking with his mum and my wife last night ( they are not the same person ) I’ve decided I’m going to drop it and let him make mistakes, I’ll just be there to pick him up when he needs me.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Moggy » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:16 am

Sorry to hear that Suzz and I hope he comes to his senses soon.

It sounds like a teenage “edgy” thing that he’ll grow out of. It’s probably best not to keep on about it to him to stop him trying to rebel further.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Vermilion » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:41 am

Could be worse, he could have joined Extinction Rebellion. ;)

Seriously though, it's probably just a phase that he'll eventually grow out of, we've all done idiot things in our teens at one point or another (i once wanted to dye my hair silver to look like Sephiroth).

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Karl_ » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:43 am

Vermilion wrote:Could be worse, he could have joined Extinction Rebellion. ;)

I know you aren't being entirely serious but I don't think this is the thread for "haha left just as bad" jokes, given that's actually part of the rhetoric of the alt-right radicalisation pipeline.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Blue Eyes » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:04 am

Bloody hell that's awful. Sorry, man. I'd show him some videos by David Pakman or the Majority Report that will carefully explain why the far right are a bunch of banana splits.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Photek » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:23 am

Blue Eyes wrote:Bloody hell that's awful. Sorry, man. I'd show him some videos by David Pakman or the Majority Report that will carefully explain why the far right are a bunch of banana splits.

This, also add in some Now This and Destiny debates, Destiny is edgy but destroys pretty much all far right online 'commentators' into dust, every. single. time.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Vermilion » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:31 am

One thing I will add is that him being a teen does mean he's very impressionable, has he been in contact with far right groups on social media at all? If so then they may well have had a significant negative effect on him.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Somebody Else's Problem » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:34 am

Vermilion wrote:Could be worse, he could have joined Extinction Rebellion. ;)

Seriously though, it's probably just a phase that he'll eventually grow out of, we've all done idiot things in our teens at one point or another (i once wanted to dye my hair silver to look like Sephiroth).


A lot of my stupid opinions from when I was younger a very well documented, and remembered by people from this forum and its predecessors.

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PostRe: Dad, I’ve something to tell you...
by Moggy » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:36 am

Vermilion wrote: (i once wanted to dye my hair silver to look like Sephiroth).


I genuinely can’t tell if the stupid thing is that you wanted to do it or that you didn’t do it.


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