Dad, I’ve something to tell you...

Moggy wrote:
Vermilion wrote: (i once wanted to dye my hair silver to look like Sephiroth).

I genuinely can’t tell if the stupid thing is that you wanted to do it or that you didn’t do it.

Me wanting to do it was the stupid thing, thankfully i never went through with it as although it might have looked ok in a Central London setting or a gaming convention, wandering around with a mop like that in rural Devon would have been utterly ridiculous.

Just out of interest, are you particularly vocal about your dislike for the right? You mentioned this came about after you were talking about 'how sick you are' of the rise of the right, is this something that you do often? Could be a revolt against what he perceives as biased parenting. Maybe try to turn down the politics a bit for a while?

Maybe if you joined the alt-right he'd think it was lame and go and do something else. I really have no idea what I'd do in that situation.

suzzopher wrote:.

If you have some time to burn, these are two pretty good videos. The first is about why teenagers are drawn to alt-right ideas in general; the second is about why the author himself was right-leaning as a teenager and how he grew out of it.

I'm not sure it will directly help but it might give you more of an understanding of what's happened.

I'm sorry to hear this, Suzzopher. I can't imaging many worse things for a parent to discover about their child.

more heat than light wrote:Just out of interest, are you particularly vocal about your dislike for the right? You mentioned this came about after you were talking about 'how sick you are' of the rise of the right, is this something that you do often? Could be a revolt against what he perceives as biased parenting. Maybe try to turn down the politics a bit for a while?

I don't think this is the right solution. It's just abandoning him to the right wing ideas that have already taken root. I know normally I'd say there's no point debating right wing loons, because they're not looking for an honest discussion, but simply to air their views, but in the privacy of a home is the ideal place to have these difficult discussions. I suppose the question is if Suzz feels prepared to combat these beliefs, as depending on how far down the rabbit hole his son has gone, it could be a real uphill struggle.

Louis Theroux's latest doc on the God Hates Fags family comes to mind.

Everyone who defected that group was converted through kindness, love and compassion breaching the culture of loneliness, hate and fear which was imposed on them. A hard approach and criticism only calcifies existing biases.

Perhaps try to get him in a room with some people of colour and see if he can maintain his position to their faces.

Has he seen Schindler's List?

How is he with you wife, Suzz? I thought she was from Europe originally, is he OK with her?

Last edited by VlaSoul on Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Yeah I had a few friends go through this phase a couple of years ago, even i found myself drifting more towards the centre right when I was 14-15 because of the people I hung out with and with the rise of UKIP and Farage that was happening at the time. It's partially a symptom of a politically polarised climate where everyone is often pushed more progressive ideas more "aggressively" then they can tolerate, so the opposite end starts to look more attractive when they feel lost and out of touch, and this is very often true for young white males who feel like they aren't being catered to by their government at all. Also yeah some content creators can influence them when they're young. And additionally people often turn out politically opposite to their parents in their youth; my father (probably same generation as you) is fairly conservative and on account of being an econ phd seems to be a neo liberal, and I turned out to be a much further left (socially)liberal socialist and environmentalist.

With people I know, they tend to grow out of it at least somewhat, especially with uni because they're forced to confront the fact that every single person is more or less exactly the same as the next asshole despite any surface differences. What's important is that you have reasoned discussions with him about these kinds of things and explain why white nationalism is maybe a bit uh, bad? Don't lose your temper and do try to treat him like an adult, cuz just deriding what he thinks as if he is a child will push him further into this kinda gooseberry fool.

People do tend to go through some questionable phases when in that limbo period between childhood and adulthood. Not saying you need to ignore it, or that there is nothing to worry about, but I don't think this conversation is necessarily confirmation that he's now a card carrying lifetime member of the white nationalist brigade.

More helpful advice than what I can offer has already been posted in here, but I would agree that a fairly light touch is needed when you try to engage with or "combat" this position. I think the key is, where possible, making sure that he has access to a wider variety of sources of news and commentary on the world and encouraging him to explore more than just what is shared on the rabbit hole of the alt-right. Easier said that done I know.

But again, as others have said, we've all thought, said or done some unfortunate things when we were young.

I remember I did something questionable once. I sold out. Once many years ago... I went into a wine bar. :dread:

Pedz wrote:How is he with you wife, Suzz? I thought she was from Europe originally, is he OK with her?

Yeah he's fine with Swedes. It's the eastern lot he has a problem with :roll:

Thanks for the vids guys.

My rebellious moment was voting Labour when I was 18 in 1997 and then calling my dad in the morning and played Things can only get better down the phone (he was a Tory).

suzzopher wrote:My rebellious moment was voting Labour when I was 18 in 1997 and then calling my dad in the morning and played Things can only get better down the phone (he was a Tory).

Maybe try the same thing with your son? Call him and play Stormzy down the phone to him.

With kids it's never too late to consider the A-word.

It's probably just a teenager phase. I know I was completely idiot around that age.

I'm a nice, uncontroversial idiot now :datass:

Hexx wrote:With kids it's never too late to consider the A-word.

yeah put him up for adoption!

Kezzer wrote:
Hexx wrote:With kids it's never too late to consider the A-word.

yeah put him up for adoption!

Oh yeah. That's the word I meant. Of course. :shifty:

I knew a kid 15 years ago who had ENGLAND tattoed down his forearm in Olde English font. Used to wear Stone Island jumpers and would hang around with members of the Birmingham Zulus.

I presume he turned his back on the life of a racist as he is now a fairly successful property developer in the West Midlands.

My dad had a huge impact on my political beliefs when I was growing up, he'd rant and shout at the TV whenever Charles Haughey or Bertie Ahern were on TV (both gangsters but not enough evidence against Bertie to stick and Haughey died while being investigated). So I've always had this anti establishment kind of view, that has softened with age but the search for facts and truth remain unabated within me. It's this feeling that drives me to the left because, and I mean this in the kindest way, to be a republican in this day and age you have to be either a bare faced liar or completely inept at cognitive thought.

My 8yr old daughter (soon to be 9) is already left leaning by simply always telling her in any kind of situation that everyone is equal, and men can love men and women can love women, it's simple things but the likes of a gay couple to her is completely normal and she really doesn't see race at all, as far as I can tell. Teenagers can change tho but I'm hoping this ground work we've put in will put her in good stead.

Photek wrote:My 8yr old daughter (soon to be 9) is already left leaning by simply always telling her in any kind of situation that everyone is equal, and men can love men and women can love women, it's simple things but the likes of a gay couple to her is completely normal and she really doesn't see race at all, as far as I can tell. Teenagers can change tho but I'm hoping this ground work we've put in will put her in good stead.

Do you tell her that she can support Man United if she wants to?

Jenuall wrote:I sold out. Once many years ago... I went into a wine bar.

....

That's it? You went into a wine bar?

Dad, I’ve something to tell you...

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