Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
NickSCFC

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by NickSCFC » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:07 pm

Well this ugly bastard's reared it's head again.

Had the week off work with flu and have felt utterly miserable. Been having dreams and thoughts about my teens years, getting nostalgic about long care free summer days playing football all day, hanging out with friends and having spontaneous nights out.

This days feel so long away, those friends have settled down and had children or have moved away. I get a horrible feeling in my stomach about life only occuring once and those days never returning.

I should be happy, for a man in his mid-30s I have most things down, a house, a loving girlfriend, a stable job, no money worries. But it feels like my best years are now far behind me of no way of getting them back.

We have a holiday booked for March, but I can't get excited, if anything I just feel empty inside.

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Johnny Ryall
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:51 pm

You only remember the good parts of being an adolescent. I bet you don't reminisce about being skint on a Friday night, or being grounded, or having to crunch revise for exams.

Not to say you don't have problems now, but they are different! I bet you have way more independence. It is harder to meet with friends I find. A lot of my friends are on shift work and work nights for example.

Have you thought about doing amateur football? I have no interest but a bunch of blokes I work with rent out a sports field that has floodlights for an hour every Wednesday night for a casual kick about. I bet there is something like that you could do that would have you being social on the reg.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl_ » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:56 pm

@Nick: It sounds to me like you are maybe lonely? Not romantically lonely, but for friends. Maybe like Johnny Ryall said you could look at a social hobby, like sports or martial arts or whatever. Either way I hope things get better for you.

NickSCFC

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by NickSCFC » Sun Jan 27, 2019 1:08 pm

Karl wrote:@Nick: It sounds to me like you are maybe lonely? Not romantically lonely, but for friends. Maybe like Johnny Ryall said you could look at a social hobby, like sports or martial arts or whatever. Either way I hope things get better for you.


Johnny Ryall wrote:Not to say you don't have problems now, but they are different! I bet you have way more independence. It is harder to meet with friends I find. A lot of my friends are on shift work and work nights for example.


Yeah I think you guys are right.

My circle of friends have had less time for each other since they've all recently had babies and I've fallen into a trap of spending every evening in with the missus watching Netflix dramas.

I did play football until a year ago with my close friends and good group, but an ankle injury put paid to that a year ago.

I think it's up to me to be the one to be proactive and organise social events as I've always relied on them picking up the phone. Cool, fun social things just used to happen when I was younger, and I guess I'm responsible for that ending.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Jan 27, 2019 3:59 pm

If you live in a city check out Couchsurfing events or MeetUp events too, sometimes you meet really fun and interesting people at them. The folk are always friendly and pleasant if you're anxious about that sort of thing, and all age ranges attend.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:36 am

Meetup is good for that. Hell I went for my birthday party once with just my girlfriend.

Actually I haven't had a birthday party since I was 21.

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NickSCFC

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by NickSCFC » Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:22 pm

That's the problem with depression though, life problems are both the result and cause of depression.

I have no social life > Meet friends then > Can't, depressed

The only way I find of breaking the cycle, for me, is escapism. Dive into games, boxsets, books, things that really don't matter etc.

It only works for a few weeks though, the obsession breaks and once again you have that feeling that you've been thrown into a frozen lake again where you question what you've been doing with your time and before you known it you're back into the cycle.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:35 pm

True, it is really tough to break the cycle and actually get out. No one's gonna do it for you though man, as gooseberry fool as it is to hear.

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Johnny Ryall
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Mon Feb 18, 2019 7:22 pm

Started a new job in a different part of the building today. The work is exactly me, but socially it's absolutely awful, near empty part of the building and the folks who are there do a lot of scowling. Doesn't much help that my old team surprised me with a collection on Friday. It's like great I've gone from working with people who crack me up constantly to actual fun sponges.

All things in time I suppose, I've never been good with big changes.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Mon Feb 18, 2019 8:03 pm

I feel absolutely dreadful today, not sure what the issue is. Ready to chuck it all in and take up smack in SE Asia. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.

Not sure if meeting someone at the weekend impacted me. Got talking to a girl on the train on Saturday and spent the whole weekend with her; she was very creatively minded and had some convincing arguments for living with only the bare minimum and following your dreams as you go. Which isn't always possible but it made me reevaluate my situation where I can travel to wherever I want which is what I always desired. Doing something in an industry which I amn't massively passionate about maybe isn't the best use of my time though.

I think I'm always very hung up with the concept of time since if I was following my disease's average life expectancy I'd now have less than a decade to live. I never want to waste any time but when I just go off and try to make it with no job in exciting adventures I end up rapidly sliding into depression and addiction due to lack of structure.

I dunno, I'll probably be fine the morn.

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Corazon de Leon » Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:30 am

Rocsteady wrote:I feel absolutely dreadful today, not sure what the issue is. Ready to chuck it all in and take up smack in SE Asia. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.

Not sure if meeting someone at the weekend impacted me. Got talking to a girl on the train on Saturday and spent the whole weekend with her; she was very creatively minded and had some convincing arguments for living with only the bare minimum and following your dreams as you go. Which isn't always possible but it made me reevaluate my situation where I can travel to wherever I want which is what I always desired. Doing something in an industry which I amn't massively passionate about maybe isn't the best use of my time though.

I think I'm always very hung up with the concept of time since if I was following my disease's average life expectancy I'd now have less than a decade to live. I never want to waste any time but when I just go off and try to make it with no job in exciting adventures I end up rapidly sliding into depression and addiction due to lack of structure.

I dunno, I'll probably be fine the morn.


Don't do anything stupid, man. If nothing else, you don't wanna fall into the Trainspotting, Hibs supporting stereotype. ;)

No jokes though, she's right. There is a strong argument for it. But there are also strong arguments against that kind of transient lifestyle that your mind probably isn't letting you see right now. Sit tight for a day or two, think it out, logically and calmly, and decide where you want to go from there. But for strawberry float's sake make sure you don't end up in a Taiwanese opium den or some gooseberry fool. :dread:

You've spoken about your illness before and how it might well cut into your life expectancy. Do you have any ambitions left in terms of travel or experience? Is there anything you'd regret if you found out you couldn't do it tomorrow? Perhaps you need exciting adventures, but with a little more structure and planning, to avoid going off at the deep end when you arrive in an exotic location?

Are you travelling at the moment, or working somewhere?

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:25 am

Corazon de Leon wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:I feel absolutely dreadful today, not sure what the issue is. Ready to chuck it all in and take up smack in SE Asia. Hoping to feel better tomorrow.

Not sure if meeting someone at the weekend impacted me. Got talking to a girl on the train on Saturday and spent the whole weekend with her; she was very creatively minded and had some convincing arguments for living with only the bare minimum and following your dreams as you go. Which isn't always possible but it made me reevaluate my situation where I can travel to wherever I want which is what I always desired. Doing something in an industry which I amn't massively passionate about maybe isn't the best use of my time though.

I think I'm always very hung up with the concept of time since if I was following my disease's average life expectancy I'd now have less than a decade to live. I never want to waste any time but when I just go off and try to make it with no job in exciting adventures I end up rapidly sliding into depression and addiction due to lack of structure.

I dunno, I'll probably be fine the morn.


Don't do anything stupid, man. If nothing else, you don't wanna fall into the Trainspotting, Hibs supporting stereotype. ;)

No jokes though, she's right. There is a strong argument for it. But there are also strong arguments against that kind of transient lifestyle that your mind probably isn't letting you see right now. Sit tight for a day or two, think it out, logically and calmly, and decide where you want to go from there. But for strawberry float's sake make sure you don't end up in a Taiwanese opium den or some gooseberry fool. :dread:

You've spoken about your illness before and how it might well cut into your life expectancy. Do you have any ambitions left in terms of travel or experience? Is there anything you'd regret if you found out you couldn't do it tomorrow? Perhaps you need exciting adventures, but with a little more structure and planning, to avoid going off at the deep end when you arrive in an exotic location?

Are you travelling at the moment, or working somewhere?

:lol: :lol:

Yeah that's true. I don't think I actually would, my liver would rapidly collapse if I was going on the heroin i reckon.

Had a really long sleep so I think I feel a little better, will see how the day goes. My lifestyle the now has been decent for my mental health in that I'm seeing the world but have structured work from a laptop. It might not be the most fulfilling field of work in that I'm not helping or really benefiting others with it but otherwise it should be fairly perfect for me.

I'm in Athens just now which I've been really enjoying, on the move again in a couple of weeks too. I think maybe it was just one of those days that kick up occasionally. I hope. Thanks.

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:48 pm

Rocsteady wrote:.

If you don't mind me asking, what line of work are you in? I find it fascinating that people can travel the world and just live where they end up all whilst working from a laptop. I live a very structured 9-5 lifestyle with a wife and 2 kids, the antithesis of how you seem to be living and I just can't picture how that must play out day-to-day. Quite jealous really :lol:

Also, just curious what the medical condition is that you're living with? Feel free to tell me to strawberry float off of course :P

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Tue Feb 19, 2019 5:49 pm

Preezy wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:.

If you don't mind me asking, what line of work are you in? I find it fascinating that people can travel the world and just live where they end up all whilst working from a laptop. I live a very structured 9-5 lifestyle with a wife and 2 kids, the antithesis of how you seem to be living and I just can't picture how that must play out day-to-day. Quite jealous really :lol:

Also, just curious what the medical condition is that you're living with? Feel free to tell me to strawberry float off of course :P

I do marketing, I think remote work is becoming increasingly common in different fields though. It's normally great for me tbh. I get extremely restless very quickly so it's one of probably only a few jobs I could hold down long term, the thought of living with a partner and potentially having children absolutely kills me. Not that there's anything wrong with it obviously, just not for me. At least not at this stage. It's changed my personality too, I'm a lot more friendly and outgoing now when I want to be as you have to be when living on the road constantly, otherwise you go crazy from not talking to anyone.

Tbh I'm probably just a bit of a drama queen when depressed with my illnesses. I've had quite a few near death experiences with OD's, severe blood clot and pulmonary embolism, near liver failure etc, but it's the PSC I was diagnosed with years ago that I suspect when depressed will keel me over, don't exactly always live correctly for someone with the disease. I don't even normally think about any of health issues much, I think ignoring them works well. For all I know I'll live to 70, just talk shite.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Feb 19, 2019 5:59 pm

I work independently form my own brand/studio as well, and sometimes from co-working spaces and cafes for similar reasons, although I have a solid relationship which I need for emoshions and to combat loneliness absolutely. And also for health reasons - I can't hold down a job for longer than a year, what with it typically requiring some combination of (1) insane commuting hours (2) open-plan offices that set my neurological deficits into overdrive and (3) general communication difficulties strawberry floating everything up, or being ousted unfairly because a lack of skills to negotiate those situations or just bad luck with really shitty or unhelpful bosses and bad companies.

Now I effectively vet all of my customers, and do what I can to make my work life as sympathetic to my needs as possible, as in the past despite the legislation (equality act) that should protect me nobody else has done this, even when they have apparently tried. Consequently I'm hardly raking it in at all but it's fair to say that some people do end up quite well off if they stick at it establishing their own independent source of income not reliant on anybody else, which in this economy, is quite a valuable thing.

My sleep is still totally strawberry floated. Due to a mixture of meds and insanely deep dreams that seem linked to my neurotype I consistently sleep 12 hours per day, work late into the night, and get up in the afternoon. You can't sustain even a part time job with that kind of problem structured deeply into your brain. I might try hypnosis to see if I can snap out of it, but it tends to get dug in after short periods of high stress and needing to work late to meet ridiculous deadlines set by clients and my inhibition to say "no".

I see myself in a position say 10 years where I have a personal assistant, occupational therapist and an managing director dealing with all the gooseberry fool I struggle with, and just focusing on my creative strengths that are really the bedrock of any business that is going to survive with so much competition out there. I think being fully aware of your weakness and having plans for how to overcome them is the key. It's hard to follow through even at the best of times, but having some vision for how to see it through is in itself a solid coping strategy for the long term.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by poshrule_uk » Fri Feb 22, 2019 7:43 pm

Someone at my work who is on the autism spectrum thinks I'm on the spectrum too, I have looked this up online and I think they may be correct.

How can you get to 35 and not know about this? It's bothering me but I can't work out why as I wouldn't feel embarrassed by it if it was correct and it would help explain some of my traits.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:44 pm

my girlfriend thinks I have aspergers and everyone I have incredulously mentioned this to is like, yeah, sounds about right

I was chatting with a girl mate of mine and told her about it and she said she had been operating on the understanding that I was autistic for like the 9 years shes known me

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl_ » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:49 pm

False wrote:my girlfriend thinks I have aspergers and everyone I have incredulously mentioned this to is like, yeah, sounds about right

I was chatting with a girl mate of mine and told her about it and she said she had been operating on the understanding that I was autistic for like the 9 years shes known me

I have an IRL friend called Chris who has Asperger's and he has followed a pretty similar life trajectory to you in a lot of ways. I've never thought of you in that way before but now I can't unsee it.

It's a bit of a pain to get assessed for it as an adult but you should have a go and see where it leads you if you're curious.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:15 pm

I'm high functioning autistic and I'm 29, but I was autistic when I was 1 so whatever.

I din't get a diagnosis until I was 21 because I was strawberry floating everything up post GCSE and that's when my depression became most obvious (well, to anyone who gave a gooseberry fool, which was pretty much just me) as well. It's really not all that unusual. The NAS say 2/3 people on the autistic spectrum have a related mental health condition such as anxiety and depression. The best and worst part of it is managing to get through education (assuming you do because most high functioning autistics keep their head down and study one way or another even if it's self-directed) without anyone helping you do it and then suddenly realising pretty much everything outside of your own environment is 10x harder without structure and control over your environment and there's pretty much strawberry float all you can do about it.

A ludicrous portion of people on the spectrum are unemployed, have few or no friends or relationship. So if you have only recently discovered you may have some behaviours on the autistic spectrum, if you have even one of those things you can know right away that you are doing alright, if that helps.

Autism in and of itself is not a bad diagnosis, however the degree to which it is critically misunderstood even by those diagnosed with the condition is and the stigma around it especially online doesn't really help much at all.

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Corazon de Leon » Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:46 am

Karl wrote:
False wrote:my girlfriend thinks I have aspergers and everyone I have incredulously mentioned this to is like, yeah, sounds about right

I was chatting with a girl mate of mine and told her about it and she said she had been operating on the understanding that I was autistic for like the 9 years shes known me

I have an IRL friend called Chris who has Asperger's and he has followed a pretty similar life trajectory to you in a lot of ways. I've never thought of you in that way before but now I can't unsee it.

It's a bit of a pain to get assessed for it as an adult but you should have a go and see where it leads you if you're curious.


Sadly I find this to be the case for anything of that ilk as an adult - it took me nearly five years from my bringing it up with a mental health professional to actually being diagnosed with ADHD and mild anxiety.

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