Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Samuel_1
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Samuel_1 » Sun Jan 19, 2020 2:58 pm

Chickenwings147 wrote:so, it's been a long time since i logged onto the forum and posted, but i always read every day

today, in the early hours of the morning I came downstairs to find my wife dead.

after a few days of coughing/sneezing (I've had a cold and assumed she'd picked it up from me) she seemed worse thursday night and i said to get an emergency doctors appointment the next day.
at 4am I woke and seeing she wasn't in bed, i went to find her, and she'd gone downstairs and was on the kitchen floor. im in shock. im scared and feel absolutely devastated.

we've been together 24+ years and god knows what im going to do without her. no idea why im here getting this out here after such a long time not posting but i'm all over the place at the moment

That is horrendous news. I don't know you as a forumite, but I am truly sorry for your loss.

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Clarkman
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Clarkman » Sun Jan 19, 2020 4:26 pm

False wrote:I went out with some ‘friends’ tonight as my fave club In Manchester was being closed down

And then I saw the texts the texts they were sending about me

I’m supposed to sleep at their place tonight

In a cab with them and just wanna cry and hang myself

My strawberry floating friends are even treating me like strawberry floating turd

I’m done

strawberry floating dogshit sorry everyone


Hello mate - when I'm at my lowest, socialising always feels like a coin flip. It's either exactly what I need to change headspace, or something that will only suck me deeper.

Friends can be inconsiderate and selfish and gooseberry fool, but they will very rarely do it to be cruel.

Take a few days off from those mates and enjoy a game or a movie or a book. Plenty of people available here too if you fancy a chat

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Jan 19, 2020 5:04 pm

sorry to worry you I’m not dead

I spoke to my care coordinator and she helped me down

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Curls
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:44 pm

Good news. Keep.fighting.

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still
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by still » Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:11 pm

False wrote:sorry to worry you I’m not dead

I spoke to my care coordinator and she helped me down


Good. Stay strong. Always remember, that whatever gooseberry fool is surrounding you and dragging you down, that’s all just external, that isn’t you. You have a right to be you, to do the things you like to do, want to do. Sometimes, just to wake up is a start, an achievement. Something to be proud of. Keep fighting, enjoy the things in life that make you happy, reject the things that bring you down, (even though their hold on you may be strong). Keep fighting. Always.

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ianfianf
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by ianfianf » Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:16 pm

False wrote:sorry to worry you I’m not dead

I spoke to my care coordinator and she helped me down


Good to hear from you falsey :wub:

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:31 pm

False wrote:sorry to worry you I’m not dead



Stay strong, brother. Stay strong. We're here for you

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Dual
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dual » Sun Jan 19, 2020 10:03 pm

False wrote:sorry to worry you I’m not dead

I spoke to my care coordinator and she helped me down


\o/

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smurphy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by smurphy » Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:23 pm

Hope things start to improve for you soon Falsey. Bumped into Donna in the shops and she told me what was going on, so I thought I'd pop on. Didn't realise it was so bad though. You can get through it.

And really sorry to hear about your mum StayDead. Hope you're feeling better.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Feb 02, 2020 8:40 pm

had another quite bad vibe week this week culminating in me wandering out last night at 2am and that resulted in some girl burning out my thc pen - which was basically the only thing mellowing me out - and then me getting robbed

luckily I left my phone in the car and kept my keys but Ive had better nights

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Peter Crisp
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Peter Crisp » Sun Feb 02, 2020 8:57 pm

False wrote:had another quite bad vibe week this week culminating in me wandering out last night at 2am and that resulted in some girl burning out my thc pen - which was basically the only thing mellowing me out - and then me getting robbed

luckily I left my phone in the car and kept my keys but Ive had better nights


Just look at the topic about you on here and see that people who have never met you and only know you from here are willing to give you support. Can your friends say they have others willing to do that for them?

Keep on trucking and know you can always pop on here to vent.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Fri Feb 07, 2020 3:26 am

back in work tomorrow for the first time in months and trying and failing to get some kip and my borderline friend calls me at 2.30am because she’s on a bridge and gonna top herself and I have to talk her down until now

think I did it but bloody hell

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Zilnad
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zilnad » Fri Feb 07, 2020 6:02 am

Bloody hell, False. You're doing a good job! Good luck tomorrow and I hope it all goes well and you get some sleep for your first day.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:10 am

I stayed on the phone with her and police came, must have seen her on the cams or something, she had a knife and alcohol on her so they sectioned her

So I had a bad morning but hers is worse atm

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Jenuall
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jenuall » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:24 am

Damn, well done for helping her out False.

Are you starting back in work today or tomorrow? (Wasn't sure if the "tomorrow" at 3am really meant today!) Either way good luck and hope if goes well.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:39 am

Yeah I’m in the office now

3.5k emails to inspect and lots of access requirements and stuff to rerequest

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Fri Feb 07, 2020 4:28 pm

Falsely I am wondering if you had a nurse ascribed through adult social care or something similar? I had an assessment before and it was gooseberry fool, they basically said well you have a girlfriend who helps, you are fine.

Unfortunately the police did have to get involved last time I went off on a blender but I can see this all being gradually deescalated into nothingness systematically until I'm at my worst again. I really need to try and make sure they get the message that I need some actual real therapy to deal with these recurrent issues and of course my dad is saying he will pay for stuff but it's confusing where to even start looking for private treatment and so far nothing has been forthcoming from his end.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Feb 09, 2020 12:19 pm

Im classified as high risk by the nhs because of the bipolar and suicidal stuff and I saw some stuff for a little bit but not recently, so Ive got a primary care nurse, a doctor and a therapist

my therapist has actually submitted me for specialist counselling for sexual addiction which is interesting, not sure when that starts though

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:06 pm

I've seen a psychiatrist in the past who basically just doubled my medication and added anti psychotics, but psyhocholigist literally said they can't help me because money. And that was via primary care nurse. So I never actually had any therapy for years. They told me I had to self refer to a counselling service, I know counselling is useful in the short term but really it's just because I'm lonely and see pretty much zero friends for months and months. There's no practical movement towards discussing any of the old traumas and solving them. I get bounced down to voluntary bodies and stuff whole either can do very little or require payment.

So on the payment front I will make my dad pay for that this time seeing as he pretty much strawberry floated my brain up when I was 5 leaving me otherwise I can only hope suitable referrals actually happen.

I have got a reply from adult social care which the cops contacted who are going to assess me, this time it's a woman so sexism aside I genuinely hope they get the message rather than the dude that just used as many rules as possible to say no. And this time it says they are for mental health and substance abuse, rather than grannies shitting themselves or whatever.

It's really strawberry floating annoying that because I attempt to run a business and maintain an office etc I look totally competent, this is all aside from the actual issues I am experiencing. It's the same thing as, you have a job, you are fine. You had a wife, how did you meet someone if you are so ill? Your house looks clean, you are fine, your girlfriend doesn't just do all of that stuff. You live in an expensive area, you must afford this somehow, you are fine. strawberry floating hell.

There's a hypnotherapist and NLP specialist at my partner's college who is offering staff discounts. I might try that and see how it goes. But I can't believe how hard it generally is to see anyone after literally walking out in front of traffic and waving my arms around wildly ranting about weird gooseberry fool. I got stuck in some kind of weird loop with my brother chasing after me who can be very aggressive and violent when pushed so didn't really know what to do, I was running away from him. Mind just broke completely.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:10 pm

I think its because I had 'persistent symptoms indicative of psychosis' that they booked me in, as I say with the bipolar and suicidies all at the same time I guess I triggered their threshold

also Im in cheshire so maybe that makes a difference

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