Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:16 pm

I think my medication probably does prevent that for the most part. It sucks sleeping like 12 hours but I guess if that's what I need, that's what I need. Unfortunately it acts as a tranquilliser but recently I forgot one dose and couldn't sleep whatsoever, it was awful.

The thing is with my brain condition I need occupational therapy/coaching for life basically, and need to find that. My dad's already set a budget for that and expects its to simply go away after a time which is typical. Really I need to get more money in so I can pay myself.

I also get screwed with the basic rate for PIP when I should get the enhanced and mobility rates. I'll fight that this time so I also have some money to pay for private therapy myself, even if it's just one hour a week, it would help massively. That's what it's for. Not just paying the rent and utilities.

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Jezo
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jezo » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:15 pm

Reading through this thread makes me realise how good I've got it, and how trivial and insignificant my issues are. And yet they still hurt so badly. Feelin pretty low all of a sudden. Hope everyone's coping with life ok

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OrangeRKN
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeRKN » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:24 pm

No one's competing or comparing, you can post about whatever if you want to o/

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Pedz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Pedz » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:44 pm

OrangeRKN wrote:No one's competing or comparing, you can post about whatever if you want to o/


I'm shocked Hexx hasn't posted something sexual to this. Well, more disappointed actually.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sat Feb 15, 2020 5:34 pm

My meds got doubled last month and they have also made me really tired like you Gecko.

On the one hand it's great because they make me a lot more motivated and goal orientated as well as more energised at work, but on the other I don't have the will to engage in any of my hobbies.

And like today I got a decent night's sleep and then ended up sleeping again from like 10am to 3pm.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Feb 16, 2020 6:06 pm

I think that SSRIs can help if you lead a structured life i.e. Have a regular job and routine etc but the numbing sensation of feeling kind of nothing rather than sad all the time makes it very hard to pursue passions so that might be why your hobbies are kinda lying in the dark.

I also take quietiapine which is what makes me sleep. BUt I stayed up late playing axiom verge this past few days and I just didn't feel like sleeping at all so that tranquilliser effect seems to have kind of worn off... I would prefer to have something else to help sleep when I need it rather than it just being a side effect.

The trouble is I need a bit of madness and risk taking and mania in my life because my job is about taking risks and going out on a limb sometimes, or I just end up doing almost nothing at all in the long term in terms of achieving goals. Seeing the same psychiatrist who diagnosed my brain about 10 years ago which is fitting and going to consider reviewing the meds to see if another approach I.e. Actually getting I.e. Paying for talking therapy works better for me and reduce the dosage overall. THe really bad episode I had was renewed trauma really, not just general feeling terrible and so I need to treat that not just take medication forever and keep thinking of sad things from time to happen that happened over a decade ago in some cases.

People with ASD are often over medicated and taking antipsychotics and things just because they perceive the world differently, I am not sure this is the right approach anymore so anyway just best to speak to my old psyhiatrist again and try to get some regular counselling or coaching set up instead of bouncing in and out of the triage system whenever it gets really bad and then never actually seeing an NHS psychologist because of NHS funding blahblah and being fobbed off to some counselling service elsewhere. I need to get ahead of it and take control of my own mental healthcare.

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J. Vengeance
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by J. Vengeance » Sun Feb 16, 2020 6:34 pm

So, i'm worried that i'm seeing signs in myself that i'm developing symptoms of Bipolar Disorder or some other mental health condition.

I've suffered from depression for a good number of years now, i've had counselling in the past but they have either been short term fixes or haven't helped at all and now i'm noticing i'm having very rapid mood swings.

I was out with friends and I went through a mental laspe of happiness, anger (at myself), jealousy, bitterness (at myself), boredom and the feeling of emptiness in the space of 4 hours.

And at work last night I went through the same mood swings but they were even more rapid and in a 3 hours time span and I can could visualize going from wall to wall. My head also feels foggy inside so I don't know what my train of though is when it happens.

I'm making an appointment with the doctor to ask for a psychiatrist appointment, what's going on in my head now isn't just depression, it's something else and i'm pretty much scared of myself right now. :cry:

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Feb 16, 2020 6:49 pm

J. Vengeance wrote:So, i'm worried that i'm seeing signs in myself that i'm developing symptoms of Bipolar Disorder or some other mental health condition.

I've suffered from depression for a good number of years now, i've had counselling in the past but they have either been short term fixes or haven't helped at all and now i'm noticing i'm having very rapid mood swings.

I was out with friends and I went through a mental laspe of happiness, anger (at myself), jealousy, bitterness (at myself), boredom and the feeling of emptiness in the space of 4 hours.

And at work last night I went through the same mood swings but they were even more rapid and in a 3 hours time span and I can could visualize going from wall to wall. My head also feels foggy inside so I don't know what my train of though is when it happens.

I'm making an appointment with the doctor to ask for a psychiatrist appointment, what's going on in my head now isn't just depression, it's something else and i'm pretty much scared of myself right now. :cry:

It's OK man you're doing the right thing by taking note of the emotions and mood swings and seeing the doctor, definitely 100% the right thing to do. It's much better to be aware of these things than to ignore them or pretend they're not happening.

I mentioned quetiapine before, at low doses this is a mood stabiliser that might help and there are some other more left field things like mindfulness/meditation and perhaps CBD oil (please be careful with this it's extremely expensive and sometimes the cannaboids are such a low volume it is a waste of money) that can take the edge off.

I have definitely experienced that in the past, mistakenly (as I hadn't seem some of my childhood friends for over a year) I let my family take over at Xmas and I didn't go to the pub for Xmas eve to see them. That said, last year I burst into tears just because my friend who is a bit up north now so talks very loudly and can seem angry when isn't. It's always an emotional time when seeing friends you haven't seem for a long time but still care about, nonetheless there are other occasions where I have thought "I must go see my friends!" And then go and can just barely cope at all, I will sit there in anxious silence and just go blank, feel that pressure on myself to talk because I want to socialise but somehow can't. It's a really tough place to be knowing you want that normality and commune of socialising but your brain just isn't playing along. So I do understand that being stuck between 4 corners of different emotions. Just bear in mind this can be normal sometimes for everyone when there's a lot going on but if it is occurring repeatedly and it's having an effect on your quality of life and overall mood or sense of wellness then it's best to see a doctor. Good luck with your appointment. Mine is tomorrow, I've written a small list of what I want to discuss (as I get an hour which is nice!) and review my care plan for the next 6 months or so which I haven't done in a long time (several years now).

I thought I might be bipolar, it was suggested by a tutor at college over 12 years ago now. I think I am on a low level but it's more like cyclothymic depression, this means you go through phases of subtle mania (excitement or hyperactivity or sudden bursts of energy) and depression on a sort of sine wave, up and down over several weeks over and over again and I just have to learn to live with that and identify the signs of when I need to take some time off or if it get worse go to the doctor. Yet it's that I very rarely feel "well" or "content" or whatever that even is. Which is a side effect of antidepressants - in my experience you can feel less cripplingly sad (like don't want to bother going on living sad or would be better off without a brain getting in the way etc) but just moot overall which I am not fond of being either, but it's better than being dead. That's such a low quality bar for life I need to look at it again from time to time so I am doing that.

For counselling I can get a discount at my girlfriend's work for a counsellor who also does neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis so really ought to try that. NOt sure why I'm putting it off, just always find it very difficult to start a relationship like that because it's so personal. I try to get on with things and then look back, I've spent maybe 90% of my time doing 5% of the things I had in mind (bear in mind I hyper think and am extremely creative so that's pretty normal to be honest) and part of that is because I'm just sleeping so much and getting stuck in ruts not knowing what to do next to benefit ME rather than my business or my customers or whatever. So overall the more I put off getting some help the more time I'm losing to just nothingness. It can be so hard to get over the barrel like that, as I've seen only a few specialists in my "journey" battling my own brain and sometimes they hare helpful and sometimes it just feels like talking to a brick wall or what can really come of this etc. I fill in the forms saying I feel a bit better in this respect because I'm speaking to someone about my traumas and then it's "you are NONDEPRESSED" and you can go home, queue a few months down the line new trauma happens or something else and I'm back at square one again. If I could make my business profitable I'd gladly pour all of that into paying for regular help as it isn't going to happen on its own in this climate (I never had help at school or when I was growing up despite presenting all the same issues) and jobs etc. Aren't going to provide adequate support because they don't want to or they don't want to pay for it or it's not available etc etc.

It's the only way I can be these days. It should be easier but unfortunately it isn't. I still don't even know where to start looking for private help even if it was just a half decent secretary type person who could take some of the load off, but that's expensive as well. In an ideal world someone like my dad would contribute and say, OK rather than buying a new car or house etc. Here's three grand, go and pay for a mentor or coach to help you out a bit. Although that may finally happen I need to make it sustainable. My old GP (founding partner of a practice so he was good but retired) said, think of it like an investment, invest in the wellness of your mind and then in the long term you will see a return from that. Of course, it's right, just hard to find the resources at times. I wish people like my dad and other people could see that, I suppose I can be grateful (and am grateful) that my partner does. But she has her own job and her own life, she can't be around all the time to deal with my work issues or problems at work years ago!!

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Jezo
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jezo » Mon Feb 17, 2020 5:07 am

Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek. Real night hours right now, who up?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa4 » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:07 am

Jezo wrote:Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek...

Jezo, man, this doesn't sound like good thoughts. A few hours on, are you still feeling the same way? I'm no expert in this field but, if you are thinking along those lines, maybe you could try talking to a close friend, your doctor, or perhaps even someone a bit more anonymous such as The Samaritans.

Whatever you do, hold on and try to get through it. It never seems like it when you're in the maelstrom, but things can change.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tsunade » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:09 am

Jezo wrote:Randomly just woke up at half 4 and started thinking about what would be the best way to end it all kek. Real night hours right now, who up?


I may be an anxious ridden mess with a lot going on at the mo but I'm always here to chat if you need to dude!

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Jezo
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jezo » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:31 am

It just happens sometimes, dw about it. Woke up, couldn't get back to sleep, brain bein weird, couldn't sleep more, got bored, came here. But thanks for concern/support. strawberry floatin tired now tho

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jawa4
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa4 » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:54 am

Jezo wrote:...strawberry floatin tired now tho

Yeah, those night-time thoughts can get a bit dark. Try and take things easy today, Jezo.


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