Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Thu Aug 20, 2020 9:25 am

It's been a bad time for me these past two weeks.
There has been probably only one day where I haven't broken down in tears at least once, and it's been almost impossible to shift a feeling of anxiety and being scared. About 2 weeks ago I just seemed to get struck with the terrifying reality of my own mortality and it hasn't really gone away.
It culminated in basically having a panic attack last night where the terror just got overwhelming and never really went away.

My GP referred to a mental health place, which I have an assessment with tomorrow to hopefully get therapy/help with the causes, but after last night I called the doctor back this morning and they’ve prescribed me a mild anti-depressant (an SSRI, I don't know which) to take once a day for the next 4 weeks.

Just a few weeks ago I felt so normal and happy, and now I can't stop thinking about my own mortality and how much it scares me, which just feeds the panic and anxiety which just makes me think on it more.
It's so hard to see a way to get back to normal, to feeling how I felt before.

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Thu Aug 20, 2020 3:17 pm

So I've been prescribed Sertraline for the next 4 weeks, I'm really hoping it will help me because today honestly feels like the worst day of my entire life.
I'm due to start taking 50mg per day every morning from tomorrow. They recommended not taking it today as I've been taking St John's Wort for the last week and had one this morning, so they said to wait until tomorrow to start on the Sertraline and to completely stop taking the St John's Wort.

Just yesterday I felt not too bad most of the day until a panic attack last night at about 7ish and it just doesn't feel like it's really subsided.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl_ » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:27 pm

I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling so bad over the last fortnight, Laga. I know how scary and upsetting panic attacks can be. You 100% did the right thing by getting in touch with your GP. I hope that the combination of some medicine and talking it through with a mental health specialist helps you.

Sertraline is a good medicine to try for mixed anxiety/depression. It's likely to take a couple of weeks for you to notice the difference, just to give you a heads up.

Yeah, I'm sure your doctor explained, but basically St. John's Wort is itself a mild antidepressant (although it doesn't work as well as prescribed ones) and it wouldn't be good to take two at the same time.

Just so you know, if you continue to have panic attacks, particularly if they happen more frequently, you can ask your doctor about fast-acting medications that you can take to calm yourself down when one is happening.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dual » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:37 pm

Hope you feel better soon Laga. You're a cool dude and you're going to make it. xxx

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:42 pm

Karl_ wrote:I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling so bad over the last fortnight, Laga. I know how scary and upsetting panic attacks can be. You 100% did the right thing by getting in touch with your GP. I hope that the combination of some medicine and talking it through with a mental health specialist helps you.

Sertraline is a good medicine to try for mixed anxiety/depression. It's likely to take a couple of weeks for you to notice the difference, just so you know.

Yeah, I'm sure your doctor explained, but basically St. John's Wort is itself a mild antidepressant (although it doesn't work as well as prescribed ones) and it wouldn't be good to take two at the same time.

Just so you know, if you continue to have panic attacks, particularly if they happen more frequently, you can ask your doctor about fast-acting medications that you can take to calm yourself down when one is happening.

Dual wrote:Hope you feel better soon Laga. You're a cool dude and you're going to make it. xxx

Thanks guys, it really does mean a lot.

The nurse did say that it may take a week or more for the Sertraline to start having any kind of effect, but I'm really hoping I don't need to be on it long term. If I do, then I do, but I'd really prefer to be back off it by the end of the year if at all possible.
I did tell them about the St John's Wort I'd been taking for a week, for the express reason that it was a mild antidepressant, so that was why they said to start the Sertraline tomorrow rather than today.

One of my other worries is what the waiting lists for counselling/therapy might be. Looking at it though there may be options through the healthcare provided by my employer if waiting lists are quite long, so that might be another avenue I can explore.

I had read about the faster acting medications, though unlike Sertraline those are addictive and only for short term use.


All I really want is to get back to normal, how I was just 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I'm really hopeful that the medication can help me deal with these symptoms, whilst working with a specialist can help me deal with the causes.

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Zellery wrote:Good post Lagamorph.
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeRKN » Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:02 pm

I can relate somewhat to crises over the realisation of mortality, they've had me wide awake pacing in panic late on many nights for pretty much as long as I can remember. It's partly why I like to go to sleep so late - if I'm overly tired then it's easier to fall asleep without thinking about anything. I cope better nowadays because I've convinced myself to rationalise the fear away, but it's always there.

Your situation sounds more acute Laga, it's good you're seeking help and hopefully things improve for you.

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RJ Badman
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by RJ Badman » Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:07 pm

Everyone gets the mortality night frights (Not discounting your experiences, just trying to say you aren't alone).

Different meds work for different people, but sertraline doesn't seem to have done much for me over the past few years. Mind, I've lacked routine for that time; when I actually have a plan or go somewhere new I'm pretty on the ball, so that's good. When I'm just alone with my bad self, though, I'm pretty convinced I'm gonna have a stroke or a heart attack or develop cancer at any given moment, heh. Tip: If you go for a pint, don't go on the fruit machines. That way's a slippery slope that preys on anxiety and depression.

Opinions expressed in this post are those of RJ Badman and do not reflect the views of Bovril Fluid Beef Ltd.
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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Fri Aug 21, 2020 2:28 pm

So I had my assessment call this morning and I am being referred for some therapy/counselling but they have no idea how long I might be waiting.
Essentially the place that gave me the assessment refer me but the place they refer me to won't contact me until I get relatively higher up the waiting list, and that's the part they can't give me any info about.

Fortunately though I may have options through my private healthcare with work, with potential access to therapy and no excess to pay, but I don’t know if they offer ongoing sessions or if it's basically a one off session.
So for now I've put myself onto the waiting list, and on Monday I will contact the private option available and discuss what options are available there. If they are able to offer me some ongoing sessions to help me through then I'll go with them and remove myself from the NHS waiting list to make room for others.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by aayl1 » Fri Aug 21, 2020 2:57 pm

For what it's worth 100% private therapy isn't the bank breaking exercise it's made out to be in the media. In London you can find therapists who will do you £50 for an hour. I understand that ain't cheap, but £200 per month on my mental wellbeing was an easy choice to make at the time (and now I only see my therapist once a month).

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Fri Aug 21, 2020 3:42 pm

That does sound reasonable and may not be that much in the North East. If work provides no suitable options then I'll certainly look into regular private therapy.

Of course now I'm panicking over a little red dot on my wrist. My medication mentions to go to A&E for red itchy rashes, but this one isn't itchy and I'm not even sure if it was there before I took my first tablet this morning. Now though my anxiety is making me jump to horrific conclusions like allergic reaction or meningitis, so I've decided to head to A&E, as advised by the medication, just to get it checked out for peace of mind.

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Zellery wrote:Good post Lagamorph.
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Fri Aug 21, 2020 3:49 pm

For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by aayl1 » Fri Aug 21, 2020 4:00 pm

Rocsteady wrote:For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.


Hang on this is the mental health equivalent of setting your Steam Store to Argentina to get games cheap.


(jk, this is a genuinely good suggestion)

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Fri Aug 21, 2020 5:55 pm

So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.

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Zellery wrote:Good post Lagamorph.
Turboman wrote:Lagomorph..... Is ..... Right
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Fri Aug 21, 2020 8:15 pm

aayl1 wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:For anyone who is tight on money, you can probably reach out to a therapist in another country too as most will be doing it remote.

E.g. my Polish therapist is roughly 25 quid a time, meaning my mental health has improved considerably for 100 a month. Her English is perfect.

Just something to consider for anyone who has money as the main stumbling block.


Hang on this is the mental health equivalent of setting your Steam Store to Argentina to get games cheap.


(jk, this is a genuinely good suggestion)


:lol:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Fri Aug 21, 2020 8:35 pm

Lagamorph wrote:So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.

Good to hear man. Hope you stay on the up.

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:55 pm

Little bit of a rough afternoon/early evening today.
I think that, because of the trigger of my anxiety, it's leading to some other things like being overly worried/scared about my medication. Basically any kind of physical sensation, like just any sensation around my chest, my mind is leaping to "Oh god is that one of the serious side effects of the medication that you're supposed to go to A&E or call an ambulance for?", even if it's just a slightly dull ache from where I've been leaning, or just the regular anxiety sensations I've been feeling for a few weeks, or just normal sensations I've always felt. Fortunately though that should subside as I continue to take the medication, as my mind will start to realise that "No, you're clearly not having some kind of horrific allergic reaction because you would've had it by now" and just the anxiety in general should hopefully subside which will keep me from jumping to horrific conclusions.

It doesn't help that my appetite is completely all over the place so sometimes I can eat a decent meal and other times I can barely get down any food at all without gagging.

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Zellery wrote:Good post Lagamorph.
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Meep » Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:33 am

The sertaline will make you feel worse before you feel better. Expect a while of bad appetite, insomnia and nausea. However, once you body adjusts to it there is a positive effect as it stops you falling into spiralling lows.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Sun Aug 23, 2020 1:41 am

Lagamorph wrote:So I went to A&E just to be safe and they said that the red dot on my wrist isn't a rash, and looks to just be a mole.
I feel kind of dumb for going and wasting their time, but at the same time I'm glad I did as I'd have just been worrying about it non-stop if I hadn't which would only have made the anxiety worse and not given the medication a chance to work properly.

The most surprising thing was that they took my blood pressure and it came back as completely normal. With the anxiety I expected it to be through the roof.

Then again I'd say that overall today is about the best I've felt in over a week.
I don't know if the Sertraline is starting to work quite soon, if it's just a placebo effect, if it's from the St John's Wort I was taking for the past week or some combination.

My 'trigger thoughts' are still there, but today they just don't seem quite so persistent and overwhelmingly terrifying.


It doesn't tend to impact your blood pressure. It'll increase your pulse during high periods.

I've read through your posts and everything you've described sounds like you have OCD. I'm not a medical professional but I was diagnosed with OCD 16 years ago and have done a lot of reading on it since then.

For what peace of mind it can give, it gets better with time.

Remember that there are charities like Mind that can offer more instant help if you're in a crisis.

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:23 am

Thanks for the continuing advice guys, I really do appreciate it.

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Zellery wrote:Good post Lagamorph.
Turboman wrote:Lagomorph..... Is ..... Right
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Cyburn2 » Mon Aug 24, 2020 9:00 pm

aayl1 wrote:Been feeling pretty low and apathetic these past few days. Just feel so bitter at the world and society, and feel like I have nothing to look forward to. Just not really enjoying being alive right now. Also resent having to work throughout all this and have been doing the absolute bare minimum.


I have felt that over the lockdown mostly. Also I dont socialise as much as I used to and find to hard to connect with those on my social media feed.

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