Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Dual wrote:Ironhide you're a legend mate easily one of the best posters on this forum. Top taste in music as well.

that is a good point!

Ironhide wrote:I actually came in here to post something similar (but not as serious) to what Laga posted on the previous page.

As most of you know, I have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and am now almost incapable of moving anything other than my right hand. I'm just about to turn 39 and keep getting the feeling that my life has no real meaning (single, unemployable and still living with parents) and that other than my siblings and parents, if I were to die tomorrow nobody would remember I ever lived.

I'm normally fairly accepting that this is my life but lately I keep having these thoughts about how my life would have panned out if I weren't disable and some nights while trying to sleep I feel an overwhelming sadness and hopelessness, usually I'm fine the following day and back to normal but the last couple of days its lasted most of the day and I just feel terrible.

I don't tend to share things like this but just felt I needed to vent somewhere.

I believe this guy has a similar condition to that of yours?

https://www.youtube.com/c/SquirmyandGrubs

He makes vlogs (with the help of his girlfriend) but has also just written a book.

Maybe taking a look at his stuff would help motivate you or give you some ideas/inspiration?

Hope it helps anyway

Thanks guys.

I think a friend of mine with mania might be getting in trouble with the law, as they are currently planning a "heist" of a major consumer electronics outlet with some literal anarchists during a manic episode. Just showed up out of the blue today talking about all kinds of stuff.

Their girlfriend reported him to the police for fraud (he spent £50 on her card instead of £5...) and all of his personal devices were confiscated in a raid, which is worrying as that means he's isolated from his support network or any network online... I have encouraged him to have his girlfriend call the police and tell them no action is necessary.

I mean, I could somehow offer myself up as a character reference for a court date that has been set (I'm not sure about what this is for), but I have no idea what is going on here really. He is possibly selling things to a pawn shop as well and seems to be coming into equipment to replace what was taken by the police i.e. stealing a loaf of bread to feed a family that is deprived of that. Is it safe to say that someone who is not acting in their personal capacity and is impressionable won't wind up in jail given their health record? They get the enhanced rate of PIP which is evidence of a mental disability and as he's not taking his medication he is clearly on a massive bender, he pretty much said so himself.

Obviously a bit worrying, just thought I would share. Seems to have been triggered by getting a girlfriend and adjusting to that new normal, but as she suffers from PTSD, I'm not sure if that's going super well. I have no idea how mania interacts with new sex drives etc and what that might mean for all of these wild ideas happening. Apparently he spent 3 days in solitary confinement which wouldn't have done him any good and I seriously doubt the authorities have a clue what his mind is like.

Green Gecko wrote:I think a friend of mine with mania might be getting in trouble with the law, as they are currently planning a "heist" of a major consumer electronics outlet with some literal anarchists during a manic episode. Just showed up out of the blue today talking about all kinds of stuff.

Their girlfriend reported him to the police for fraud (he spent £50 on her card instead of £5...) and all of his personal devices were confiscated in a raid, which is worrying as that means he's isolated from his support network or any network online... I have encouraged him to have his girlfriend call the police and tell them no action is necessary.

I mean, I could somehow offer myself up as a character reference for a court date that has been set (I'm not sure about what this is for), but I have no idea what is going on here really. He is possibly selling things to a pawn shop as well and seems to be coming into equipment to replace what was taken by the police i.e. stealing a loaf of bread to feed a family that is deprived of that. Is it safe to say that someone who is not acting in their personal capacity and is impressionable won't wind up in jail given their health record? They get the enhanced rate of PIP which is evidence of a mental disability and as he's not taking his medication he is clearly on a massive bender, he pretty much said so himself.

Obviously a bit worrying, just thought I would share. Seems to have been triggered by getting a girlfriend and adjusting to that new normal, but as she suffers from PTSD, I'm not sure if that's going super well. I have no idea how mania interacts with new sex drives etc and what that might mean for all of these wild ideas happening. Apparently he spent 3 days in solitary confinement which wouldn't have done him any good and I seriously doubt the authorities have a clue what his mind is like.

I'd say it sounds like both police and local authority have a duty of care and as the police often aren't the brightest of society, they might not think about what their confiscation has done in terms of his ability to contact his support network. Probably worth speaking to the local council to see if he's known to them and ask for their advice on how to proceed.

Also, maybe a girlfriend with PDST that reports their partner with mania to the police for petty theft isn't the best option...but I get that's a difficult discussion with infinite grey areas.

Yeah, I'm not sure it's a great match, they met via a dating app and it's great he's getting a bit of a love life but I think it might also interact badly with his bipolar (mania, same thing) by triggering off wild excitements and adrenaline etc which could last days, weeks or even months together with not wanting to lose that even if it's a bad fit. Which is understandable as he's been isolated for so long.

That alone together with a ridiculous escalation by his new girlfriend means in his mind it's totally logical to commit petty crimes to get things back to normal for him, with mania you lose all sense of perspective like this. And I have no idea if his girlfriend is encouraging things like that, because he mentioned something about her setting up shell companies to disguise parental contributions as match funding for an arts council grant.

I might try to see if I can call to inquire about a police report but I don't have a case number, to explain that it is not necessary and not in keeping with his character. I can follow up with him to see if it's been deescalated to get his property back and he can either return the things he's come into or keep them I guess... He's also using multiple names, said some stuff about changing his name to something in another language, but can't even remember using that name in an email to me (so he's not being discreet about it cashing things in at pawn shops etc) and can't remember the passwords for the computer he just literally weeks ago set up accounts on because he doesn't write anything down.

I think I have his address but his mobile number has changed because his phone was confiscated, meaning he needs a new sim on one of those miniature Nokias he just bought. So somebody could visit to sort things out.

Had my first CBT session this afternoon and honestly I'm not sure why I was so nervous about it now that it's over.

The Doctor was very good, listened and talked me through a few breathing and visualisation exercises, even talking about what was causing my problems didn't feel as dreadful/horrific as I had been expecting it to be, but maybe that's also partly down to the medication now finally feeling as if it's starting to work.
I've got some 'homework' to do for my session next week, but I think I'm going to read through the documents for that tomorrow. Right now I just kind of want to revel in the feeling of relaxation from the exercises, I haven't been able to really feel this relaxed in weeks.

Lagamorph wrote:Had my first CBT session this afternoon and honestly I'm not sure why I was so nervous about it now that it's over.

The Doctor was very good, listened and talked me through a few breathing and visualisation exercises, even talking about what was causing my problems didn't feel as dreadful/horrific as I had been expecting it to be, but maybe that's also partly down to the medication now finally feeling as if it's starting to work.
I've got some 'homework' to do for my session next week, but I think I'm going to read through the documents for that tomorrow. Right now I just kind of want to revel in the feeling of relaxation from the exercises, I haven't been able to really feel this relaxed in weeks.

This is really great to hear, mate.

If they've literally handed you documents and since you're an engineer that's kind of old school, you might want to ask if they offer Silvercloud which is designed in the UK and works on a tablet and has a couple of neat tools like mood diary and quasi interactive diagrams (just text boxes etc) but the structure is fairly well thought out.

Green Gecko wrote:If they've literally handed you documents and since you're an engineer that's kind of old school, you might want to ask if they offer Silvercloud which is designed in the UK and works on a tablet and has a couple of neat tools like mood diary and quasi interactive diagrams (just text boxes etc) but the structure is fairly well thought out.

I'll take a look at that, basically I've been emailed a bunch of PDF documents, some of them are mood/thought diaries and one is an "activity menu" and activity diary.

Some of the documents are things like breathing exercises and muscle relaxation exercises.

I'll take a look at those apps as they might be an easier way of doing things.

I think you can sign up for Silvercloud yourself as well, and invite your guidance counsellor into the process to view your progress, I just had the NHS set me up with it and send me log-in links etc. I had two clinical reviews but, but they were so limited (20 minutes, I do an hour of counselling every 2 weeks now) they could only really amount to, "so I see you did this. What was that like?".

It's much the same thing. "activity menu" sounds like the calendar I did, planning out activities that were either enjoyable or challenging/rewarding, or both.

Spent the whole weekend feeling sick-to-my-stomach anxiety. Felt like I had a real need for alcohol just to get through last night but luckily there wasn't an opportunity so I'm still 2 years without a drop.

Two years that's class. Good on ya.

Thanks

Does anyone else get stuck in infinite thought loops when trying to make decisions?

So, I passed my foundation year at university (with a higher than expected result and have done better with that bastard Coronavirus essay than I thought I would) and I'm progressing on to the first year of my East Asian Studies degree. This is what I've wanted to do for ages and I'm finally here! Only I'm stuck in one of these infinite thought loops when it comes to module choices. I have the option to study Japanese for non-specialist, I've always wanted to learn Japanese and I have the opportunity to be taught by a native speaker in a university setting. Only I've never done well when it comes to learning languages, even though it won't be as intense as those on the Japanese Studies degrees there will still be tests (that count towards final results) every three weeks or so and I worry that I'm not going to cope with the stress. And obviously if I fail the module I can't progress on to the second year. But long term I'd like to entertain the possibility of trying to move to Japan some day, it's one of the reasons I'm doing the degree, but if taking the language and failing means I fail the degree then what's the point of me doing the degree at all? But I have an amazing opportunity to learn as part of my course and who knows, I might do well? But what if I don't and it causes my mental health problems to flair up etc etc etc

I'm aware this is like a real first world problem but I'm getting really anxious about it, not helped by the fact that obviously I have a deadline to choose by, I feel sick and I'm not sleeping properly and I don't know how to break out of the infinite loop.

Can you speak to one of the course-runners about it? Either a lecturer in charge of East Asian Studies or the lecturer giving the Japanese course?

If you say something like "I want to have a go at learning the language, but I have some mental health issues relating to stress, so I need to know more about the level of difficulty and whether there are options if I find I can't progress with it", then I'm sure they will respond in a positive way. They will be happy to help you make a decision that works for you.

I would lean towards saying that you're clearly interested so just give it a go, but either way you'll probably feel better if you get as much info & guidance as you can before making the commitment.

Good advice Karl!

If it helps OUtrunner I'm also terrible at languages, but picked up Japanese fairly easily. Speaking and Listening is actually pretty easy comparitively. Reading and writing is the hard part.

No future tense! No verb conjugations* ! Put words into a sentence in any order and it still makes sense! All the vocab is basically caveman-language (snot = "nose-water") etc.

*(for I/you/he etc. There's conjugations for questions and past tense but they're easy)

Counter words though

Thanks guys, I've been in touch with the university and they got back to me within the hour, I really can't fault my experiences with the university, they've always been really supportive and quick to reply. I was a bit nervous transferring departments this year but they seem just as on the ball as the Department for Lifelong Learning.

Anyway, I've got a plan (A) where I try Japanese for a few weeks and if I don't take to it/find it too stressful I can switch modules.

aayl1: I know some (like a tiny handful) of phrases, I've learnt enough so I can be polite whenever I've been over to Japan and thought of learning more (spoken) Japanese is quite exciting, it's the reading and writing that I'm worried about the most, having to learn all the hiragana and katakana as well as the kanji seems pretty daunting. At least with my current plan I'm giving it a go. If it doesn't work out I'd probably look at some other way of learning that doesn't affect my university grades. I'm determined one way or another to learn some more Japanese this year.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice and encouragement, it really does help

Minty14 wrote:Counter words though

Haha yes. I just remembered the "tsu" one and used it for everything.

Outrunner wrote:Thanks guys, I've been in touch with the university and they got back to me within the hour, I really can't fault my experiences with the university, they've always been really supportive and quick to reply. I was a bit nervous transferring departments this year but they seem just as on the ball as the Department for Lifelong Learning.

Anyway, I've got a plan (A) where I try Japanese for a few weeks and if I don't take to it/find it too stressful I can switch modules.

aayl1: I know some (like a tiny handful) of phrases, I've learnt enough so I can be polite whenever I've been over to Japan and thought of learning more (spoken) Japanese is quite exciting, it's the reading and writing that I'm worried about the most, having to learn all the hiragana and katakana as well as the kanji seems pretty daunting. At least with my current plan I'm giving it a go. If it doesn't work out I'd probably look at some other way of learning that doesn't affect my university grades. I'm determined one way or another to learn some more Japanese this year.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice and encouragement, it really does help

You'll get hiragana and katakana down in no time at all. As those are purely phonetic they'll sink in as you see them over and over.

It's Kanji that's the bugger (plus there's two completely different ways to pronounce each Kanji depending on whether they're next to another Kanji or not!) as you don't see them that often but I got by remembering the most common ones. There's loads of great resources and as Kanji is so particular and relies a bit on rote learning this is where the "not being a language person" can actually be an advantage.

All the best - you'll be fine! I really didn't put the effort in learning Japanese as much as my classmates and while I regret that slightly and could have gotten better grades my Japanese was passable enough to live there comfortably for a couple of years.