Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:56 pm

Yeah my sleep is strawberry floated however it's been circling in and out of normal for 15+ years, I try to take tranquillisers at the moment at 10pm to almost fall asleep (I was nodding off while playing R-type which didn't result in a great performance :lol:) then go to bed, however for some reason I was settling into my workshop and ended up on the laptop until 5am or so this time, I suppose I was settling in again whereas previously I was avoiding the workshop for a good amount of time because I was not coping with, well, everything. I think environment and situating yourself differently has a large impact on mood in different circumstances.

I try to take regular walks as well which does help.

I think I did CBT one on one about 6 sessions over some months, in the end my psychologist recommended I resign from my job and go freelancing again and well I suppose that eventually lead to setting up my own business seriously and I am doing it now so it was probably a good thing, who knows. I sold my first art project for £150 when I was 14 and did various stuff so it was not a new thing for me, traditional employment just doesn't work for some people. I was actually doing 2 different jobs 100 miles apart with ridiculous commutes, whatever it was my approach to work was just wrong and my health was more important than working that way. You do what you can and take the opportunities made available to me, which I certainly earnt from the connections and impressions I made, nothing has been handed to me on a plate.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Poser » Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:09 am

The only group sessions I was offered were during the working week. While I can understand the reasons for that, it hardly caters for high-functioning depressives who also hold down jobs. There was no way I could commit to those.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:11 am

Your employment should be able to give you time away to access treatment. What's stopping you from saying you need to attend treatment for a medical condition?

(Sorry if that sounds blunt, I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is and it isn't your fault, but I'm posing the hypothetical question because when depressed we don't always rationally analyse the importance or viability of things that concern our own wellbeing, especially).

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Pacman
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Pacman » Fri Oct 12, 2018 1:33 am

Sandy wrote:It's a shame that they don't offer something that might be better for you where you live. They offer the option down here, you can go group or one on one.

I get that CBT works for some people but I'm not entirely convinced that what they see as improvement due to CBT isn't just improvement due to time passing.

I used to be really against CBT but I am warming to it. The effect of time passing is controlled for in the research and there have been a bunch of meta-analyses giving the consensus that supposedly CBT is "about as effective as medication", whatever that means. The issue for me (as a clinician) is with the really high relapse rates after people stop having sessions. BUT, when people come in for a second round of CBT sessions they are then significantly less likely to relapse. It's also the most "cost-effective" way of treating anxiety and depression in the population... which I know isn't a very sexy sell but hey.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:26 am

Well I have no idea whether I'm on course for CBT again (I don't even know if what I did a couple of years ago now was CBT) but will be getting some counselling at least (after the really really long waiting list is up) which is good.

I have finally started to execute some fabrication work after bloody weeks of being pretty much immobile and it looks good which helps, should be able to do the final piece by Monday and get that out to my customer who is fortunately a friend so don't need to worry too much about appearances. (On the other hand I have a sign to install in the middle of town which means nosy bastards peering at me installing it but it won't take too long..)

I'm totally done being reticent regarding any aspect of my health with my family though namely my father so not putting up with terms like "therapy you want" and more in line with "treatment I need because I am ill" and getting that message across, especially when obviously it's possible certain behaviours from some people in your life over a long period can impact on your mental wellbeing as well as all sorts of other circumstances like work, finances, social life genetics physical health etc etc. Depression sure does test your relationships (on top of everything else in your world, not many people fully understand that it doesn't just stop at happy/sad it strawberry floats everything) especially considering one of the most important (and hardest things) is that relationships and outside interaction are what get you out of this mess just as it is going to the hospital if you broke your leg, it probably won't heal so well on it's own.. why people think it should is very strange.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Poser » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:10 am

Poser wrote:...a clinical hypnotherapist.... I'm off to see her in two weeks' time. I'm certainly intrigued. Have no idea what to expect but will let you all know how it goes.


That was yesterday.

strawberry floating hell, what a difference. :shock:

Results far in excess of what I was expecting. Long story short, I've always had issues, but I had a very stressful 2012/13, which basically broke my brain and caused me to develop anxiety.

She said I am (was?) visibly very tense and quite agitated when I talk.

She spent 90 minutes rewiring my brain via three different methods. I remained skeptical even while she was doing it, but came out the session feeling very strange and not quite like myself. I've already encountered a couple of instances of things that I would typically have dwelt on, such as a challenging phone call with a client. I dealt with them all much better than I normally would have done.

It's all a bit weird and I don't quite believe it still, but here we are. I genuinely feel much better. I have got the word 'placebo' in my head, but even if it is, I don't really care. (I guess, given that I've taken no actual medication, it technically is a placebo of sorts anyway).

She's recorded the hypnosis session so I can recreate it at home if I need to (it's only her talking). I'm going back again next week but she says that might be the only other session I need.

Again: :shock:

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Mini E
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Mini E » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:16 am

Great to hear Poser!

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:19 am

thats ace

was that on the nhs?

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Poser
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Poser » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:39 am

False wrote:thats ace

was that on the nhs?


Sadly not. It's pretty expensive, but my company paid for it. Very good of them.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:41 am

I have private medical too

would you mind pm'ing me the details please

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jawafour
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawafour » Wed Oct 17, 2018 12:38 pm

Poser wrote:...Results far in excess of what I was expecting. again next week but she says that might be the only other session I need...

That's terrific news, Poser - it's great that you've already experienced an improvement in your situation! I hope that the learnings can continue to deliver.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:56 pm

Well one probably CBT psychologist suggested dramatic things like I should probably leave my job at the time and less dramatic things like I should make sure I play guitar once a day.. But they were right.

Anyway I haven't been recommended any services yet but my dad might actually help me cover the cost of some private treatments, where do I even start looking for good therapists in my area??

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Minoru
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Minoru » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:10 am

I went to speak to someone at Mind today. I knew I probably wouldn't handle it very well, but it feels a bit like reality has punched me in the face, because oh boy was I the epitome of Not Calm.

She asked about my sexuality right at the start for the form and I've never actually told anyone irl other than my mum. I guess I knew it would bother me if it came up but I didn't realise how much and that just really upset me? Like, I am clearly not okay with this and I want to be but if I can hardly even say it to a stranger who couldn't give a strawberry float, I'm obviously not.

The whole thing was very stressful and made me feel so pathetic and I feel guilty for talking about my family and maybe giving the impression that things are worse than they are. I wasn't really honest about my depression either.

She put me on the list to do their anxiety course in the new year and gave me contact details for their lgbt branch and a peer support group but I don't know, it seems an awfully long time away and all very difficult and I don't know what I'm going to do.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:41 am

All respect to you for going Minoru , it can be hard when you know they will ask things you'd rather they didn't.

I can really relate to the feeling bad about talking about your family bit. My mum was always super super vocal and loving before she died but my dad's a bit quiet and kind of stern , when I had therapy I ended up talking about how he has never told me he loves me or that he is proud of me, as soon as I'd left I felt like a back stabbing git.

The thing to remember though is therapy is for you and about how you and how you feel and you need to focus on getting stuff out for your benefit.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 2:31 pm

I think this is probably my first time posting in here to say I feel like crap.... I have PTSD and at times life is kind of more about holding that down to try and function as much as possible, last night I had a raging argument with my older brother it really wasn't good it was him that started it and he said some really bad things which really upset me, basically went on about if our mother was still alive she would disown me and hate me etc there's nothing I can think of worse than him saying all this crap because all it makes me want to do is see my mum and hug my mum and ask her what she thinks of me and obviously I cant. Add on to this my fiancee heard some of it and some of what he went on to say upset her so much shes basically said she makes my life worse and wants to pull herself out of the picture for awhile. I am hoping with all of my heart that give it a few weeks and she doesn't feel hurt and realizes that he is just a prick.

All of my life my brother has had pops at me and made out that he is better than me and I haven't achieved enough, he always makes out he knows better and he does better , even to the degree that in spite him never having had a child he tries to tell me parenting decisions of mine are wrong... I just need to shut him out of my life because I firmly believe if someone makes your life worse you have to get them out of your life

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sat Nov 10, 2018 6:33 pm

Siblings can be like that. Sometimes it's better just to accept their attitude is not going to change and they don't need to be involved so don't let them in anymore.

It's a very unfair and manipulative thing to speak for someone who isn't there never mind passed away. If someone is upset with you it remains with them and is often more about them than you anyway.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 7:29 pm

Green Gecko wrote:Siblings can be like that. Sometimes it's better just to accept their attitude is not going to change and they don't need to be involved so don't let them in anymore.

It's a very unfair and manipulative thing to speak for someone who isn't there never mind passed away. If someone is upset with you it remains with them and is often more about them than you anyway.


Thanks Gecko, your words are much appreciated.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by mcjihge2 » Sun Nov 11, 2018 10:15 pm

kerr9000 wrote:I think this is probably my first time posting in here to say I feel like crap.... I have PTSD and at times life is kind of more about holding that down to try and function as much as possible, last night I had a raging argument with my older brother it really wasn't good it was him that started it and he said some really bad things which really upset me, basically went on about if our mother was still alive she would disown me and hate me etc there's nothing I can think of worse than him saying all this crap because all it makes me want to do is see my mum and hug my mum and ask her what she thinks of me and obviously I cant. Add on to this my fiancee heard some of it and some of what he went on to say upset her so much shes basically said she makes my life worse and wants to pull herself out of the picture for awhile. I am hoping with all of my heart that give it a few weeks and she doesn't feel hurt and realizes that he is just a prick.

All of my life my brother has had pops at me and made out that he is better than me and I haven't achieved enough, he always makes out he knows better and he does better , even to the degree that in spite him never having had a child he tries to tell me parenting decisions of mine are wrong... I just need to shut him out of my life because I firmly believe if someone makes your life worse you have to get them out of your life


Is he acting out of jealousy of what you have and your achievements? His remarks about your mother are perhaps transference of his own inadequacies. Until he accepts, realises and improves his own situation he will continue to act like a dick toward you. Keep the things that you like close to you.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sun Nov 11, 2018 10:56 pm

mcjihge2 wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:I think this is probably my first time posting in here to say I feel like crap.... I have PTSD and at times life is kind of more about holding that down to try and function as much as possible, last night I had a raging argument with my older brother it really wasn't good it was him that started it and he said some really bad things which really upset me, basically went on about if our mother was still alive she would disown me and hate me etc there's nothing I can think of worse than him saying all this crap because all it makes me want to do is see my mum and hug my mum and ask her what she thinks of me and obviously I cant. Add on to this my fiancee heard some of it and some of what he went on to say upset her so much shes basically said she makes my life worse and wants to pull herself out of the picture for awhile. I am hoping with all of my heart that give it a few weeks and she doesn't feel hurt and realizes that he is just a prick.

All of my life my brother has had pops at me and made out that he is better than me and I haven't achieved enough, he always makes out he knows better and he does better , even to the degree that in spite him never having had a child he tries to tell me parenting decisions of mine are wrong... I just need to shut him out of my life because I firmly believe if someone makes your life worse you have to get them out of your life


Is he acting out of jealousy of what you have and your achievements? His remarks about your mother are perhaps transference of his own inadequacies. Until he accepts, realises and improves his own situation he will continue to act like a dick toward you. Keep the things that you like close to you.


In honesty I don't know what he acts out over , he is a genius but very full of himself with it, he is successful and pretty rich because of it, he doesnt have any children though and I think he is perhaps jealous of that, back when she was alive he was jealous of me and our mum having a very strong bond. He would make comments that I had been a coward and never grown up because I never moved more than 3 miles away from our parents, that my degree was a sham because id done it while living at home and moan about how I visited mum every day on the way home from work and stuff.. Whenever someone is mad with him or doesn't like him he seems to think its because he is gay and doesn't see how much the family supported him and how little we cared about that. The guy has bags and bags of qualifications in mental health and yet seems to have next to no empathy and id argue actually uses what he knows in a manipulative way.

Things have actually gotten worse today, he has been trying to contact my daughter while I was at work (shes 16) and as she wouldn't answer the phone to him or text back because shes mad at how he has treated me, he has basically gone on to contact our Dad to say if she doesn't talk to him now then shes being wrote out of his will and stuff, she tried to be diplomatic and say she needs time to think but it was a talk to me now or this is it kind of thing, shes pretty much told my dad to tell him to shove it. I feel sorry for my dad ending up in the middle of this, I only have one kid but I cant imagine having multiples and them fighting... I am one of three and basically the other two have had fights verbal and occasionally physical my whole life (there 10 and 12 years older than me) and my middle brother has sort of diapered and moved away and now there's only me the youngest and the oldest dads left with and he gets this from us. Add to this things have gotten worse between me and my fiancee because she hasnt taken all of this well, I seriously felt yesterday like given some time me and her would be OK but the bit I have talked with her today it feels very very much like the end and I really don't want it to be, but its looking pretty darn hopeless.

I had to go to work today and it was bloody horrible because i had to fake being happy and cracking jokes like I would usually do because I just couldn't cope with letting anyone see that I was feeling down and vulnerable.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Mon Nov 12, 2018 8:47 am

Your brother sounds like a complete asshat. I would try not to let anything he says get to you. That's not on, using your mum to strengthen his view.


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