Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:30 pm

jawa wrote:I'd agree with the idea of taking a break from news and social media channels in order to manage your mindset. In today's society we have a pretty much constant stream of information being flung at us and, generally, it's "bad stuff" that gets most shared. This can lead to one occasionally having a skewed perspective; there are indeed always bad things happening, but there are some good things, too.

Personally I have even continued using my ancient 2G mobile phone rather than getting a smartphone because I just don't want any more information being pushed at me; nor do I want to be tempted to continually check stuff.

Anyhow, I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time, Gecko, and I hope you soon get through it.

Thanks jawa. I use a 2G/3G handset as well.

I'd say it's not so much that all the extraneous information is just bad stuff, it's useless stuff. THe vast majority of the information pushed at us is just utterly useless in our everyday lives, expanding our "circle of concern" out so far that we can't focus on anything that really matters and can make a difference to improving our lives or the lives of others.

Sorry to hear you're struggling taf.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Victor Mildew » Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:52 pm

It doesn't help that the news outlets are using covid as perfect news 'conversation starter', meaning something say about a dog walker, now is a dog walker in these uncertain covid times. It's just a constant reminder when most of the time completely unessasary. Just all round bad for keeping a neutral mental state.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:03 pm

Feel conflicted been told I need 6 weeks off work with a heavy degree of bed rest to get back to ok health , feel a bit guilty how reliant that's going to make me on others and worried what my coworkers will think of me

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tsunade » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:51 pm

kerr9000 wrote:Feel conflicted been told I need 6 weeks off work with a heavy degree of bed rest to get back to ok health , feel a bit guilty how reliant that's going to make me on others and worried what my coworkers will think of me


What other people think doesn't matter. What matters is that you get better and back on your feet! Like I've said before, health before work. If your coworkers dont like that, that's their problem. There's no reason to feel guilty either, you've been in hospital and I'm sure the people in your life will be happy to help you. I never felt well leaving hospital but I always felt better being in my own bed when I've got home, it does you wonders!

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:03 pm

kerr9000 wrote:Feel conflicted been told I need 6 weeks off work with a heavy degree of bed rest to get back to ok health , feel a bit guilty how reliant that's going to make me on others and worried what my coworkers will think of me

Mate, you've just had your gallbladder removed.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Wed Oct 07, 2020 6:25 pm

I know your both right , I need to make sure I take it easy and don't worry

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Oct 08, 2020 6:54 pm

Don't worry mate. As a self employed person I struggle as it is saying "no" to things and taking days off when I am ill, but if I had just come out of hospital, yeah I'd flick that "strawberry float off" switch pretty damn quick. In fact, it's not that long ago that I did having an accident falling down the stairs.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:40 pm

I got out really late last night and although I have aches and stuff I just feel fantastic because I feel free, a strange freedom involving laying around a lot and using a crutch to get to the loo but everything just seems amazing being able to watch what I want to nap anytime without nurses trying to wake me to take my blood pressure or something

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Oct 08, 2020 9:06 pm

I can relate as hospital was a strawberry floating horrible experience for me, set off my hypersensitivity like nothing else, asked to be in a dark room, got wheeled out 20 minutes later, stationed under fluorescent lights which cause my brain pain and left there, eventually got into a ward hours and hours later then went home the next day but it felt like forever.

Spent about a month on the sofa on codeine but preferable to hospital :dread:

Didn't mention the catheter as I was so anxious and in shock I couldn't piss, even alone in an empty room into a pot :fp:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa » Thu Oct 08, 2020 9:13 pm

kerr9000 wrote:I got out really late last night...

That's great news, kerr - hope your recovery is going well at home, dude :-) .

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:48 pm

I just found out my mum is getting chemo for cancer by essentially her telling me to go away and not see her, I don't even know what to think..... I've lost two family members to cancer before but, it's my mum. If anyone's familiar with my family history you'd know what that means for me (my dad's been absent and mostly whinges about "getting old") but my mum has been disabled my entire life. I hope I get to see her soon and say hello, I have only got to say I love her and see her soon, she just said "ok" thru the door of her room.. :(

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by aayl1 » Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:03 am

Green Gecko wrote:I just found out my mum is getting chemo for cancer by essentially her telling me to go away and not see her, I don't even know what to think..... I've lost two family members to cancer before but, it's my mum. If anyone's familiar with my family history you'd know what that means for me (my dad's been absent and mostly whinges about "getting old") but my mum has been disabled my entire life. I hope I get to see her soon and say hello, I have only got to say I love her and see her soon, she just said "ok" thru the door of her room.. :(


This breaks my heart, I'm so sorry to hear this GG - my thoughts are with you.

Unsolicited advice below, I'll spoiler it as it can be annoying having people chuck their two cents in during times like these - please please feel free to ignore, and I really hope things work out.

You said you don't know what to think - you don't need to think anything. Just feel. Focus on your feelings, accept what you're feeling and - as horrible as it is - try to accept this terrible situation as much as you can. It sounds like obvious and useless advice but I have found that we can make ourselves suffer twice over - once from the awful situation and again by fighting against and denying its existence. May as well just take the one round of shitness.

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir as you are well versed in mental health. But it's easy to forget this stuff when you're in the thick of it wishing things were different.

All the best for you and your mum. Hang in there.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:44 am

Green Gecko wrote:I just found out my mum is getting chemo for cancer by essentially her telling me to go away and not see her, I don't even know what to think..... I've lost two family members to cancer before but, it's my mum. If anyone's familiar with my family history you'd know what that means for me (my dad's been absent and mostly whinges about "getting old") but my mum has been disabled my entire life. I hope I get to see her soon and say hello, I have only got to say I love her and see her soon, she just said "ok" thru the door of her room.. :(


I'm so sorry. I hope that she gets through this and that you'll both come out of this much stronger than you were before.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa » Mon Oct 12, 2020 10:15 am

Green Gecko wrote:I just found out my mum is getting chemo for cancer by essentially her telling me to go away and not see her, I don't even know what to think...

Oh, Gecko, man, that must be dreadful; such a tough situation for your mum and yourself. I hope that you are able to talk with her soon.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Oct 12, 2020 2:17 pm

Thanks guys. I've still not spoken to her since Saturday but I have two print jobs to finish up and then that's it for me for 30 days. I might have mentioned taking a break sabbatical to focus on things that matter to me and my personal projects (that includes GRcade btw!), so I'm taking 30 days from about Friday at the latest just to process all this and see if there's any way she would at least allow me to help. It's hardest because she didn't want to tell anyone really, she told my aunt to tell me but then my aunt didn't want to completely tell me, I don't even know what cancer it is or how advanced it is, when it was caught, anything that might happen. Just completely up in the air which is horrid. And because of that I can't speak to anyone in my family except my aunt. Even my cousin who's moved in next door doesn't know it's cancer apparently. I don't know if my brothers know or not. How do I even have that conversation with them if I want to talk about it? And my dad? strawberry floating hell what is my next conversation with my dad going to be like... He whinges about his privelege existence, big house in France has issues in roof or whatever so can't afford counselling for very long etc. It's always about him. It's always been about him. Well maybe if his ex wife is dying he can shut up about that and support me so I can support her and so-on, like families should.

I can email my counsellor to book an extra appointment, that's probably all I can do for now and shutter up the studio so I have the time I need to deal with this experience. I don't care if that means having less money or less orders around Xmas due to reduced brand awareness or whatever.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa » Mon Oct 12, 2020 6:42 pm

Green Gecko wrote:...I have two print jobs to finish up and then that's it for me for 30 days. I might have mentioned taking a break sabbatical to focus on things that matter to me and my personal projects (that includes GRcade btw!), so I'm taking 30 days from about Friday at the latest...

Hey, Gecko, yeah, it's sometimes good to take a timeout; and that time is, of course, totally up to the person and the issues they're dealing with.

Just a wee suggestion if I may be bold, though... when you dealing with such tough and emotional situations, it can help to have an outlet sometimes; somewhere or someone whom you can chat with or bounce thoughts off. If you do have such an outlet in place, that's ace; if not, maybe GR (or something similar) could help - no matter how infrequently you choose to use it.

Anyway, I hope you get more discussion and comfort over your break, dude.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Mon Oct 19, 2020 1:17 pm

After a year and a half wait I've got an appointment to see if I'm autistic on the 4th of next month , I'm quiet happy it's fell while I'm off anyways. Sounds funny but I'm looking forward to it.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Mon Oct 19, 2020 1:22 pm

I wonder how many adults live with undiagnosed autism? Its probably a staggering figure.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Oct 19, 2020 3:17 pm

One in five adult males likely have autistic traits, or are diagnosable, is a widely acknowledged figure via the national autistic society. It's less common in women for some reason, likely due to chromosome and inheritance stuff as it does have a genetic basis. If you have father or grandfathers with autistic traits you probably have them too. Both of my grandparents were quite odd (and extremely talented), for example they struggled in "normal" jobs/society and were unique in their ways, their abilities, and ended up self employed for long periods, or purposefully isolated. They were also highly dependent on their wives to carry out things outside of their particular interests, relating to other people, managing emotions, I.e. Were hopeless on their own.

So the connection doesn't surprise me at all; that said, they both had lifelong marriages and functional lives. I have high functioning autism generally characterised as Asperger's; it's much less likely to be diagnosed outside of the near "savant" types (which itself is actually a different form of autism often known as "savant syndrome" where there are very marked impacts on daily functioning but exceptional talents in others I.e. Human calculator, photographic memory etc etc). It's a spectrum condition and so there will be a huge part of the population, most likely millions, who struggle with many of the same areas of life.

It's important to remember that autism is not to be characterised as a disease, sometimes it's called a "disorder" but really it is a condition or neurological difference, and it's a part of a larger movement in neurodiversity that includes things like dyslexia, dyscalcula, dyspraxia, ADD/ADHD, OCD, bipolar, borderline personality, depression and many other types of mind that are extremely common in the general population but are suppressed in school and mainstream society as "wrong" in some way. This is simply not true.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Mon Oct 19, 2020 3:43 pm

Green Gecko wrote:One in five adult males likely have autistic traits, or are diagnosable, is a widely acknowledged figure via the national autistic society. It's less common in women for some reason, likely due to chromosome and inheritance stuff as it does have a genetic basis. If you have father or grandfathers with autistic traits you probably have them too. Both of my grandparents were quite odd (and extremely talented), for example they struggled in "normal" jobs/society and were unique in their ways, their abilities, and ended up self employed for long periods, or purposefully isolated. They were also highly dependent on their wives to carry out things outside of their particular interests, relating to other people, managing emotions, I.e. Were hopeless on their own.

So the connection doesn't surprise me at all; that said, they both had lifelong marriages and functional lives. I have high functioning autism generally characterised as Asperger's; it's much less likely to be diagnosed outside of the near "savant" types (which itself is actually a different form of autism often known as "savant syndrome" where there are very marked impacts on daily functioning but exceptional talents in others I.e. Human calculator, photographic memory etc etc). It's a spectrum condition and so there will be a huge part of the population, most likely millions, who struggle with many of the same areas of life.

It's important to remember that autism is not to be characterised as a disease, sometimes it's called a "disorder" but really it is a condition or neurological difference, and it's a part of a larger movement in neurodiversity that includes things like dyslexia, dyscalcula, dyspraxia, ADD/ADHD, OCD, bipolar, borderline personality, depression and many other types of mind that are extremely common in the general population but are suppressed in school and mainstream society as "wrong" in some way. This is simply not true.


My Dad's normal as anything, great at talking to people so we're my grandparents and brothers but I tend to be the odd sheep of the family , I'm the families first epileptic so maybe the first autistic as well, my dad's been bloody fab with all my issues during life though which really helps, strangely my daughter's far more normal than me as well it's weird how stuff seems to pass on or not pass on .

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