Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Victor Mildew wrote:This just absolutely unbearable. I can't believe it's happening. I'm spending as much time as I can with her, trying to just enjoy whatever we can. I wrote her a letter telling her what she means to me that I read to her, which was hard to do but I needed her to hear it.

She's become open to visitors now which is good, and has had some relatives make a huge round trip to see her. They drove 7 hours to get here, spent a few hours with her until she got too tired and then drove straight back. Wouldn't have got home until at least 2am at best. Amazing.

It just breaks my heart every time i see her, she's so scared and wants be home but it can't happen.

What a wonderful and very brave thing to do - reading aloud a letter you have written for your wife to your wife. Seriously, that is a very thoughtful and hard to do thing. Don’t think for one moment I would have the guts to do the same. Very best for the remaining time you have together.

Just overwhelmingly sad and heartbreaking to read the last lot of pages. Hope it's helping you to post on here, Ad. Can't imagine what you're going through but your deep love and tremendous courage shine through. Say all that you need to say and do all you need to do and take comfort from her going to her rest knowing how much she means to you.

Much love, mate. Big strawberry floating hug too.

so dreadful Ad, love you to bits even though ive never met you. sounds like youre doing the best you can with how awful the situation is. stay in touch.

I just hope his work is supporting him through this. Like special leave or something.

Seen too many people go through stuff like this and work just doesn't have their back.

My boss' have my back, don't worry about that

So my Dad has had a heart attack of some kind. He started feeling chest pain on Thursday or Friday and thought nothing of it, went out Saturday for dinner with my step mum and had trouble walking back to the car and yesterday he finally went to the hospital. They did a few ECGs which came back fine and then took a bloodtest which is showing the proteins in the blood that appear before, during and after a heart attack.

He seems absolutely fine in himself, but he was kept overnight for observation and today he's got to have an ultrasound and angiogram which I guess will check his heart and the status of all his blood vessels to I assume see what's happened/is happening and what they can do to stop it. I wasn't worried yesterday as they spoke to a cardiologist who said depending on the results they may need to send him to a London hospital for him to see him, but that wasn't necessary.

I just don't really know how to process this - im going to the hospital in a few hours to see him and my Step Mum is there already, but Dad doesn't seem to be worried at all or at least he's not showing it and the first thing he asked me this morning was if I was ok. I moved my flights to Japan last week to this Wednesday and I can't move them again. I'm not sure if I should cancel the whole thing or still go - I think I'll ask my Dad and wait to see what the results are to make my decision but god I hope he's going to be ok. He's been so stressed for so long that hopefully this is just something super minor and it'll be a bit of a wakeup call for him to slowdown on the stress and relax a bit more. He overworks himself like crazy.

Qikz wrote:So my Dad has had a heart attack of some kind. He started feeling chest pain on Thursday or Friday and thought nothing of it, went out Saturday for dinner with my step mum and had trouble walking back to the car and yesterday he finally went to the hospital. They did a few ECGs which came back fine and then took a bloodtest which is showing the proteins in the blood that appear before, during and after a heart attack.

He seems absolutely fine in himself, but he was kept overnight for observation and today he's got to have an ultrasound and angiogram which I guess will check his heart and the status of all his blood vessels to I assume see what's happened/is happening and what they can do to stop it. I wasn't worried yesterday as they spoke to a cardiologist who said depending on the results they may need to send him to a London hospital for him to see him, but that wasn't necessary.

I just don't really know how to process this - im going to the hospital in a few hours to see him and my Step Mum is there already, but Dad doesn't seem to be worried at all or at least he's not showing it and the first thing he asked me this morning was if I was ok. I moved my flights to Japan last week to this Wednesday and I can't move them again. I'm not sure if I should cancel the whole thing or still go - I think I'll ask my Dad and wait to see what the results are to make my decision but god I hope he's going to be ok. He's been so stressed for so long that hopefully this is just something super minor and it'll be a bit of a wakeup call for him to slowdown on the stress and relax a bit more. He overworks himself like crazy.

Sorry to hear this, and hopefully it sounds like it’s been caught just in time. Sadly heart disease is common - and treatment is incredibly well developed, but it doesn’t take away from your point on lifestyle adjustments. As the last few pages have shown us, take the time to talk to your loved ones and tell them what they mean to you. I hope you feel comfortable enough to go to Japan, with your Dads blessing, and don’t be afraid to ask the medical team questions about what is happening.

Qikz wrote:So my Dad has had a heart attack of some kind...

I'm sorry to hear that your dad is poorly, Qikz; it sounds like he is getting all the right checks and treatments underway. As you say, it may be a good approach to first see your dad and identify any issues before making a decision on your holiday. I hope that the results indicate no lasting issues and that maybe a slightly different approach to work will help. All the best, dude.

Looks like they might not do the ultrasound and angiogram today. Step Mum's asking since they have private insurance if that makes a difference and they're checking. I can only assume that given they're not rushing it he shouldn't be in any danger?

Qikz wrote:Looks like they might not do the ultrasound and angiogram today. Step Mum's asking since they have private insurance if that makes a difference and they're checking. I can only assume that given they're not rushing it he shouldn't be in any danger?

Who knows , it all moves at the pace they decide at the start unfortunately. As it's the Bank Holiday, my Mrs' hospital is on emergency staff only so there's no doctors around Hope they're enjoying their holiday homes in the cotswolds.

I'm sure your dad will be OK, if it was life threatening I'm sure they would have let you know.

Our GP told my dad not to worry about his heart condition and that he "wouldn't drop dead"; around a fortnight later he suffered a VF arrest (almost always fatal) at work, the only reason he survived was that he was walking past two cardiac nurses with a nearby defibrillator (he worked in the hospital haemotology labs).i

Back from the hospital. Dad seems to be doing ok - looks like the pain he had has gone and he's only on paracetemol and not morphine or anything. Looks like they're going to do the ultrasound and angiogram or whatever it is tomorrow and might put a stent in somewhere as they think it could be maybe one of my dad's arteries have started to close up/have clogged up with something which may have caused the heart attack but until they've done the scans they can't be sure.

He told me that he didn't want me not going on Wednesday so I'm going to go and I've just told him to make sure that he keeps me up to date and if they do do everything tomorrow he could be back home by Wednesday and he'll just have to take it easy for a while / moving forward while taking whatever advice from the doctors.

Qikz wrote:Back from the hospital. Dad seems to be doing ok - looks like the pain he had has gone and he's only on paracetemol and not morphine or anything. Looks like they're going to do the ultrasound and angiogram or whatever it is tomorrow and might put a stent in somewhere as they think it could be maybe one of my dad's arteries have started to close up/have clogged up with something which may have caused the heart attack but until they've done the scans they can't be sure.

He told me that he didn't want me not going on Wednesday so I'm going to go and I've just told him to make sure that he keeps me up to date and if they do do everything tomorrow he could be back home by Wednesday and he'll just have to take it easy for a while / moving forward while taking whatever advice from the doctors.

My Dad had blood clots and some form of heart attack a few years ago and he is ok now, sure getting older but still around and as funny and smart as ever. Hopefully you get nothing but good news, and your dad will follow the doctors orders and take it easy.

Ad, I am so sorry to hear about this. Absolutely devastating. I hope you're getting all the support you need.

kerr9000 wrote:

Qikz wrote:Back from the hospital. Dad seems to be doing ok - looks like the pain he had has gone and he's only on paracetemol and not morphine or anything. Looks like they're going to do the ultrasound and angiogram or whatever it is tomorrow and might put a stent in somewhere as they think it could be maybe one of my dad's arteries have started to close up/have clogged up with something which may have caused the heart attack but until they've done the scans they can't be sure.

He told me that he didn't want me not going on Wednesday so I'm going to go and I've just told him to make sure that he keeps me up to date and if they do do everything tomorrow he could be back home by Wednesday and he'll just have to take it easy for a while / moving forward while taking whatever advice from the doctors.

My Dad had blood clots and some form of heart attack a few years ago and he is ok now, sure getting older but still around and as funny and smart as ever. Hopefully you get nothing but good news, and your dad will follow the doctors orders and take it easy.

Looks like Dad needs a stent which should be happening today, but ultrasound came back and it seems generally positive as in no major damage I believe and he's just waiting for his angiogram. Good to hear that your Dad is doing ok!

My wife has really gone downhill. Talking to palliative care today and it's looking like she has a week, maybe 2 left. It's out wedding anniversary in 2 weeks, I really want her to make it to that. We have to decide tomorrow if she's at home with care or a hospice. She's said she wants to die at home, but also doesn't want me looking at the corner of the room thinking of her dead for the rest of my life. I don't care about that, if she wants to be at home, then she's going to be at home.

I'm strawberry floating broken now, I just can't believe this is happening. For strawberry float sake I love her so much

Oh Ad man, there's just no words.

I hope that you guys can get as much time together as possible over the coming days, we'll be here for you if you need anything mate.

Victor Mildew wrote:My wife has really gone downhill. Talking to palliative care today and it's looking like she has a week, maybe 2 left. It's out wedding anniversary in 2 weeks, I really want her to make it to that. We have to decide tomorrow if she's at home with care or a hospice. She's said she wants to die at home, but also doesn't want me looking at the corner of the room thinking of her dead for the rest of my life. I don't care about that, if she wants to be at home, then she's going to be at home.

I'm strawberry floating broken now, I just can't believe this is happening. For strawberry float sake I love her so much

I have genuinely thought about you and sent you both love during my meditation practice every day since you posted. You are going through possibly one of the worst experiences a human can suffer and I am so so sorry. One day at a time, make loads of videos of her and you both together etc.

Love you so much dude.

I'm just so, so sorry. I'm not an emotional kind of guy, but reading your words brings a tear to my eye.

Victor Mildew wrote:For strawberry float sake I love her so much

For whatever it might be worth coming from us on the forum, I think it's indisputable how true this is statement is, and if I can know and feel that just from your words, you can be absolutely certain she does too.

I'm so heartbroken and so sorry for you both.