Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Sorry to hear your struggling dude. I'll just put a poem I wrote when I was 14 dealing with depression and feeling similar then adapted into a song I've never actually forgotten and still play

I know what I'm looking for
I'm trying what's been done before
I'm searching for a perfect moment, person, place
A time where I'm alive

I think I have found that person, but then you have moments with that person, you are always situated in whatever now is, we do pretty much exist to live another day and see what comes of it. There's a lot I'm not even close to at peace with. And so I persist.

If life is that search, surely it is worth living? Most of us exist looking for something in our lives. I know it's always hard to look at what we have, those material possessions, those transient relationships... But perhaps the living part is that these things can change. We often need to initiate that change, or take advantage of it when it occurs. But never is there truly a scenario in which we cannot change anything, to keep looking for peace in our lives.

Yes, I've thought about the futility of a single existence amongst coming close to ten billion. And all the other creatures on this earth. But only an individual can live individually. Only an individual can seek and determine their own unique worth, their own sense of compassion for the things they enjoy. Other people generally simply reflect this.

Second night in a row barely slept at all. Studio closed for 30 days as of Tuesday. Spent £150 on art materials, epoxy resin, gooseberry fool load of clay, an easel. I'vee gone back through my first year of fine art at college (some 15 years ago). Some pretty violent mark making on insignificant objects, like candles being lit by my or someone else's hand. Going to get painting again with all those brushes that sit around untainted, and knifes/blades.

You should try random painting Falsey, it might help you explore some of these things. Take some implement, literally anything, a spoon, a cocktail stick, a knife. Put some paint on it. Destroy the canvas if you want. Tear the paper up. Write words on it. See what happens. This is for you, and only you.

Here's a similar activity I did when I was pretty much going psychotic in halls at art uni. I have never typed this up or shared the text before. So here I will, because it seems relevant. I took a beer carton, ripped it up with my bare hands, taped it to the bottom inside of my door I was sick of staring at because I was agoraphobic and not going to classes, collaged masking tape to it, slashed at it with willow charcoal, grabbed a bulllet point marker and wrote:

STOP ANSWERING YOUR OWN QUESTIONS
[symbol for musical natural]
[symbol for musical flat]
CAN
FIND A SPACE AND KILL IT
[BE] PART OF THE SPACE

I was talking about empty space, it wants to be filled. Find a space and initialise something; anything. This is one way to live.

I'm NEVER up at 8 in the morning but I'm looking at it now, this is my unique response to you.

False wrote:Do you ever consider the insignificance of it all

Oh all the time dude. I've tried to turn this into a comforting thought though - that nothing I do matters, stop holding myself to a standard that barely anyone is going to meet and try to make the most of it. Very sorry to hear you're having a tough time of "making the most of it"

I think GG had some great advice for you from someone that's been there. I've never felt as bad as you do now so I'm going to spoiler my next bit as it's just random musings from my dabble feeling low. Please don't read it if you just want to be heard right now - know that I hear you and am genuinely wishing you the best. x

Good luck on your journey Falsey - hit me up whenever you want.

Qikz wrote:I'm so burnt out from work - the smallest little thing is making me very angry and it's making it so hard to work. Thankfully I've finally got a week off next week, but I get the horrible feeling within a day of being back I'll feel like this again. :/

Organise your holidays so they're booked in well ahead of time.

I found that id work and work and work until I was burnt out and then book them. If I have them organised at the beginning of the year it helps me count down to getting away for a bit.

My Depression and Anxiety has been officially reclassified as Non-Clinical and I have been discharged from therapy :toot:

I'm still on Sertraline for the foreseeable future, but from what I understand it's normal to be on it for around 6 months even after you feel back to normal.

Lagamorph wrote:My Depression and Anxiety has been officially reclassified as Non-Clinical and I have been discharged from therapy ...

Congratulations, Laga! I hope that you continue to feel better each day as you complete the supporting medicines over the next few months :-)

.

- - - - - - - - - -

I never really click "suggested links" on the internet but Google just popped one up about "de-stressing from the news". This one struck a bell with me as I personally am trying to reduce my attention to the news; not ignoring it but limiting it. It feels like news media companies can often be focused on promoting bad news as that's what people click on! Anyway, the link provided some ideas that may help folk manage their personal approach to de-stressing so here it is.

I don’t really know where else to post this and if it was just a long month/day but..

The owner of the company I manage text me the other day just saying he didn’t know if he’d said anything before but .. then proceeded to praise me for my work over the past few months and how it’s been putting him back into motivation mode for it which he’d lost.

I read it, tried to explain it to my partner and burst into tears. :slol:

I don’t know why, then I tried to show it to someone else and did the same. I’m not really emotive as person and not sure if I’m just not used to getting positive feedback :fp:

Sounds like someone got a pep talk for appreciating the things they do have in life; the people that support them, etc. I think we all ocassionally have these epiphanies, even if we're depressed a lot of the time. It's certainly nice to be on the receiving end of that.

Good for you mate

Not quite related but I had to push back regarding a friend who pretty much constantly hassles me for help fixing computer etc unaware of my own struggles and got the tone changed, now I have psychological space to respond in my own time and arrange time to help others. It's very easy to put yourself forward and volunteer to help someone who isn't really capable of upholding that help or learning from it, so come to you again and again to solve their problems. Can become a real negative sum after a while as they simply forget what you're doing for them.

These last few days I've finally started to feel actually normal again, certainly the closest to it I've felt in months.

Just want to say a big thank you to everyone here. All the advice and comments were massively appreciated and really did help me to get to this point.

Lagamorph wrote:These last few days I've finally started to feel actually normal again, certainly the closest to it I've felt in months.

Just want to say a big thank you to everyone here. All the advice and comments were massively appreciated and really did help me to get to this point.

Nice one, glad to hear it.

Lagamorph wrote:These last few days I've finally started to feel actually normal again, certainly the closest to it I've felt in months...

This is great, Laga. When you're in the midst of a downturn it can be hard to see a way forward but it's lovely when you do feel in yourself that a situation has really improved :-).

I reached out to Falsey last night.
His last post in here was pretty scary and he hadn't been online since.

He replied this morning, he's ok!
Just taking some time away from 'cade.

We love you J-Bomb if you see his :wub:

LewisD wrote:I reached out to Falsey last night.
His last post in here was pretty scary and he hadn't been online since.

He replied this morning, he's ok! ...

Nice stuff, Lewis. I hadn't seen False's post but I just read it and I'm glad he's doing, at least, alright. False popped into one of my Souls streams maybe a week ago and I was surprised and pleased; I don't know the guy that well and it was kind of him to pop by. So thanks, False!

Corazon de Leon

Good on you Lew. He pops in on streams from time to time, and I know a couple of other members are in regular contact with him. False is a good dude and hopefully he'll get through his current issues but it's a tough road. We're all here to listen and help where we can.

Been getting more regular anxiety attacks myself over the past few weeks, and had quite a bad one this morning. Really missing social interaction at this point*, I've barely even been able to see the dog for the last wee while because he's hurt his paw and I can't go into my brother's flat, but he can't come outside for any length of time in the crappy weather we've had. Streaming and watching others' stuff actually helps in a weird way, but it's no substitution really. I can't imagine how tough living alone must be.

*I get anxious when I can't be social, but then I get anxious when I have to be social. Brain just doesn't work properly. :lol:

Been struggling to sleep lately, keep waking up with my mind racing and replaying things and possible scenarios over and over, it's left me drained and exhausted, i know for a fact that everything at the moment is getting on top of me, and i've not been coping very well.

Vermilion wrote:Been struggling to sleep lately, keep waking up with my mind racing and replaying things and possible scenarios over and over, it's left me drained and exhausted, i know for a fact that everything at the moment is getting on top of me, and i've not been coping very well.

You can't be sure if those scenarios youre thinking of will happen or not, and it's probably best not to dwell on them, but it might be a good call to give your doctor a ring to see if they can get you to talk to a counsellor or something along those sort of lines to get all of this off your chest and see if that helps you.

My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

Vermilion wrote:My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

We're always here if you need us. I hope things pick up for you soon.

Vermilion wrote:My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

I know it’s easy to shut yourself off but it rarely helps.

GRcade is always here. Hope you are better soon.

Vermilion wrote:My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

Hoping things pick up for you soon!

Vermilion wrote:My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

Really hope you're able to get something sorted soon and work through it.

Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Who is online

Affiliates