Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

JT986M2 wrote:This is quite a specific question that I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.

I'm currently under a fair bit of pressure at work at the minute - new(ish) role, high workload. The world will keep on moving if I don't get my tasks complete though, if you know what I mean. Anyways, over the past few weeks I have found that when I become too overwhelmed with work I essentially give up on what I should be doing and procrastinate instead. In those situation (one that I'm in right now) I know I have a lot of work to do, but it's almost as if procrastinating - or doing something else entirely - is my brain's coping mechanism.

This is different to procrastinating on projects back in University since there isn't really one big looming deadline. It's almost as if my brain is going:

Then once I've done something else for a while, I'll get back to it.

The above is not something I've come across before, but I have noticed my attention span in general is suffering recently. So I'm wondering if it could be a symptom of depression or anxiety? I don't have prolonged depressive episodes, but I can move in and out of those episodes quite quickly. Since they don't persist I've never really reached out to the Doc for help. This particular 'symptom' (if it is one) could cause bother in the long-term though so I just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced anything similar?

As someone with anxiety issues who also had a very similar situation at work I don't think it's got anything to do with anxiety it's more likely burn out. When you're under a lot of pressure constantly but you know it's not something super important your brain will want to do anything else to relax just a little. I think personally you should procrastinate if you feel like you need to. Step away for 5 minutes and do something fun for a bit or the burn out is going to get worse and you'll feel like total gooseberry fool. I've been there and you don't want that.

As long as you can still get everything done by the time it needs to be done a little bit of procrastination/lack of attention towards work isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'd argue it's more healthy. I'm not an expert but I don't believe our brains are built to cope with extreme work pressure like that. It will struggle to concentrate in those situations I think that's normal.

JT986M2 wrote:I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. I'm currently under a fair bit of pressure at work at the minute - new(ish) role, high workload. The world will keep on moving if I don't get my tasks complete though, if you know what I mean. Anyways, over the past few weeks I have found that when I become too overwhelmed with work I essentially give up on what I should be doing and procrastinate instead. [...] I have noticed my attention span in general is suffering recently.

I experience this in a way that's quite severe. If I have to do something at work and it isn't immediate (like "fix this PC now" or "train so-and-so how to do such-and-such today"), I will give myself plenty of time, then end up ignoring it until the deadline looms. I will consciously think "if I don't make a start, it'll be much worse later", but I'll usually be unable to bring myself to actually do it. Sometimes I will even sit at my PC doing nothing except thinking "I just need to make a start" for hours, but I just physically can't do it. Then, as the deadline approaches and I'm way behind, I'll usually panic and do the bare minimum overnight to have something to present at the meeting or whatever.

I do enough to avoid getting sacked or anything, but I have got (rightly) criticised for underperforming a few times. A few years ago this problem was less bad and I was a much higher performer. Since Covid it's got much worse.

JT986M2 wrote:So I'm wondering if it could be a symptom of depression or anxiety? I don't have prolonged depressive episodes, but I can move in and out of those episodes quite quickly. Since they don't persist I've never really reached out to the Doc for help.

I have lots of mental health issues so I can't really help you pin down what it might be "attached to". For what it's worth, I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and insomnia - currently not medicated because I haven't wanted to go to the doctor during Covid - and I've long suspected I have some more fundamental issue underneath, like ADHD or maybe some form of mild autism. I'll probably never know for sure on that last bit as getting checked for that stuff as an adult is a nightmare.

If you can push past it and it's not disrupting you too much then it might not meet the criteria, but in its most severe form, this symptom comes under the umbrella of executive dysfunction. Maybe that gives you something to investigate at least.

Sorry I couldn't help more and fingers crossed you figure it out and feel better soon.

Qikz wrote:As long as you can still get everything done by the time it needs to be done a little bit of procrastination/lack of attention towards work isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'd argue it's more healthy. I'm not an expert but I don't believe our brains are built to cope with extreme work pressure like that. It will struggle to concentrate in those situations I think that's normal.

This is worth thinking about too of course. The level of disruption is what will be important for any chat you have with a doctor. Mild procrastination might be a perfectly normal reaction to e.g. being a bit bored with your job. These things are all on sliding scales. But if it's become much more noticeable recently and you're struggling with it a bit, or worried about it, then that might be a sign that it's more than the usual urge to procrastinate that everyone gets.

Cheers guys. I appreciate the feedback. It has been a difficult few months with periods of (relative) short-term depression, and I have wondered about anxiety being another issue that is developing. Given that, I just wanted to try and rule this out as being associated, and potentially a sign of things getting worse. However, as you both mentioned, it could just be that I'm just uninterested in the work. Which is probably pretty accurate at this stage. I'll keep an eye on it regardless.

I suppose I should reach out to the doctor about depression to be honest. It's just the fact that these periods generally don't last more than a few days, but in those periods I definitely tick the boxes. The fact that it isn't long-term makes me worry I'd be wasting their time.

JT986M2 wrote:Cheers guys. I appreciate the feedback. It has been a difficult few months with periods of (relative) short-term depression, and I have wondered about anxiety being another issue that is developing. Given that, I just wanted to try and rule this out as being associated, and potentially a sign of things getting worse. However, as you both mentioned, it could just be that I'm just uninterested in the work. Which is probably pretty accurate at this stage. I'll keep an eye on it regardless.

I suppose I should reach out to the doctor about depression to be honest. It's just the fact that these periods generally don't last more than a few days, but in those periods I definitely tick the boxes. The fact that it isn't long-term makes me worry I'd be wasting their time.

Try out the Pomodoro technique. It works for me when it comes to being productive or learning new things. Work for 25 mins, then take a 5 min break.

I need some advice about helping a friend who's depressed. I only really became their friend about 2 and a half months ago, but we're super close now and spend hours a day together on discord calls and in VR together and since last night they've been super down. He told me he's somewhat scared of what's going to happen because last year he tried to commit suicide and thankfully he failed, but he's leaning on me quite a bit now. He's asleep at the moment so hopefully he'll feel a bit better when he wakes up, but is there anything I should and shouldn't do? I'm just trying to keep reminding him that just because today is horrible there's always tomorrow and that I'm here for him, even if we just sit in a discord call and dont' say anything to each other I'm still here and care about him a lot. I just kinda don't know what to do, I want to help, but given how down he is I'm not sure if I can do anything.

EDIT: He was sleeping in a discord call with me but he's gone offline while I was on a work call. Hopefully he's ok, I sent him a message saying I'm not going anywhere and when he wants to call me again just let me know.

Qikz, you're doing great. You're being a good friend to them and supporting them is the best thing you can do for them. Just having someone they can talk to and just hang about with is probably helping them a lot more than you think.

Tsunade wrote:Qikz, you're doing great. You're being a good friend to them and supporting them is the best thing you can do for them. Just having someone they can talk to and just hang about with is probably helping them a lot more than you think.

Thanks, just an update for this in case anyone reads after he's woken up now, his PC blue screened so that's why the call cut out. He seems a bit less down right now so that's good. :toot:

You can be there for a friend going through something like this, but please remember that you are an independent person as is he. You are not in control of what he does with himself or his life, that's his responsibility. You've already been a great friend given what you've described.

Is there anything more you want from the friendship out of interest? Obviously you don't have to answer.

JT986M2 wrote:Cheers guys. I appreciate the feedback. It has been a difficult few months with periods of (relative) short-term depression, and I have wondered about anxiety being another issue that is developing. Given that, I just wanted to try and rule this out as being associated, and potentially a sign of things getting worse. However, as you both mentioned, it could just be that I'm just uninterested in the work. Which is probably pretty accurate at this stage. I'll keep an eye on it regardless.

I suppose I should reach out to the doctor about depression to be honest. It's just the fact that these periods generally don't last more than a few days, but in those periods I definitely tick the boxes. The fact that it isn't long-term makes me worry I'd be wasting their time.

Difficulty focusing or motivating is potentially a symptom of depression or anxiety, yes, but there are likely a few other factors that would form part of the diagnostic criteria.

Clarkman wrote:
JT986M2 wrote:Cheers guys. I appreciate the feedback. It has been a difficult few months with periods of (relative) short-term depression, and I have wondered about anxiety being another issue that is developing. Given that, I just wanted to try and rule this out as being associated, and potentially a sign of things getting worse. However, as you both mentioned, it could just be that I'm just uninterested in the work. Which is probably pretty accurate at this stage. I'll keep an eye on it regardless.

I suppose I should reach out to the doctor about depression to be honest. It's just the fact that these periods generally don't last more than a few days, but in those periods I definitely tick the boxes. The fact that it isn't long-term makes me worry I'd be wasting their time.

Try out the Pomodoro technique. It works for me when it comes to being productive or learning new things. Work for 25 mins, then take a 5 min break.

Yes and you don't need to stick to 25 minutes ether as it's different for everyone.

I think the underlying principle is that it's literally impossible for most humans to perform focused work for longer than 40 minutes at a time due to normal/evolutionary attention spans, and play being about as important as work. With that though you can get deep into production management and productivity porn and end up achieving a lot less than just thinking less and doing it, although I appreciate that is not easy!

Because I drift in and out of hyper and hypo-focused states (i.e. working really intensely on something an then daydreaming when I'm my most creative) I might work continuously for hours and then have a break that represents that, so it's more elastic. If I am really struggling to focus on something (i.e. I'm probably sick with anxiety and would be better signing off, but sometimes I don't have a choice) I'll work for as little as 10, 15, 20 minutes and then take a break for 1 to 2 minutes. And then literally do that all day. If I achieve even just one important thing in that state of mind then that's a win for me, as most people would probably give up or slack off the entire time.

I make this work by doing a 6 hour work day 30 hours a week, but I often end up working 40 somewhat unproductively when I am unwell. Sometimes I'll work for 12 hours staright and only be productive for half of that - but those are my actual hours worked. And sure some of those times are just hitting deadlines, where it is better and more productive for me to do literally this [i]one[i] thing repeatedly for the equivalent of 2 work days, in the space of one normal day.

Understanding that is why I got into some degree of manufacture in which that sort of thing is basically normal and it's part of the rush of getting things done. Of course I can't and won't do that for every single kind of task because my life would implode and my business along with it, but understanding what work pattern and what particular kind of "focusing" works for a range of tasks I feel is really important in managing anxiety, performance, and performance anxiety.

Sometimes a distraction can be a very positive thing. At the moment I am doing loads of sales and life admin and haven't done anything particularly visceral, which will eventually become a problem and lead me to be depressed. Then loads of money came in and I can finish up what I have due and then work on my own stuff.

My job is fairly unique in that there is a legitimate aspect of practising craft that feeds back into my marketing strategy and capabilities for offering clients other things they might not have seen before. I think most jobs could work a lot better by having an intrinsic program like this of creative or learning tasks that are very much considered "work". It's a more holistic approach to "occupation" that doesn't focus 100% on delivering things for someone above you, which nobody (in my opinion), is ever going to be fully invested in doing.

Prototype wrote:You can be there for a friend going through something like this, but please remember that you are an independent person as is he. You are not in control of what he does with himself or his life, that's his responsibility. You've already been a great friend given what you've described.

Is there anything more you want from the friendship out of interest? Obviously you don't have to answer.

Well our relationship is kinda weird, we're kinda more than friends but I can't really explain it or go into any details. The issue is he's become my kinda emotional support the last few months as well which has made us a lot closer. I just wanted to try and help him out the best I can, I'd do the same for any of my friends but luckily my friends have never been as down as he was then. He seems to be doing a little better now, im on a discord call with him just hanging out.

Qikz wrote:
Prototype wrote:You can be there for a friend going through something like this, but please remember that you are an independent person as is he. You are not in control of what he does with himself or his life, that's his responsibility. You've already been a great friend given what you've described.

Is there anything more you want from the friendship out of interest? Obviously you don't have to answer.

Well our relationship is kinda weird, we're kinda more than friends but I can't really explain it or go into any details. The issue is he's become my kinda emotional support the last few months as well which has made us a lot closer. I just wanted to try and help him out the best I can, I'd do the same for any of my friends but luckily my friends have never been as down as he was then. He seems to be doing a little better now, im on a discord call with him just hanging out.

He's on your VR isn't he?

Prototype wrote:
Qikz wrote:
Prototype wrote:You can be there for a friend going through something like this, but please remember that you are an independent person as is he. You are not in control of what he does with himself or his life, that's his responsibility. You've already been a great friend given what you've described.

Is there anything more you want from the friendship out of interest? Obviously you don't have to answer.

Well our relationship is kinda weird, we're kinda more than friends but I can't really explain it or go into any details. The issue is he's become my kinda emotional support the last few months as well which has made us a lot closer. I just wanted to try and help him out the best I can, I'd do the same for any of my friends but luckily my friends have never been as down as he was then. He seems to be doing a little better now, im on a discord call with him just hanging out.

He's on your VR isn't he?

Yeah I thought I said that initially, he's someone I've become pretty emotionally attached too. Like we're spending most days together recently just hanging out on discord calls. He had a day off the other day and went out on a 10km bikeride while streaming where he was going to me to show me around the area where he lives it was really fun. :wub:

Good news is he's called me this morning again and he seems to be doing better again today which is good.

I read this story* about a girl, Embla, at a school in North Macedonia who is being bullied. Embla, who is aged eleven, has Down Syndrome and it's reported that some parents are trying to get her banned from the classroom.

Some parents had also complained that Embla was in the same school as their children and even boycotted classes that the schoolgirl attended

It's so dispiriting to see that there are still plenty of cases where people with less common conditions are pushed away by others; often through ignorance. If you try and "hide people away" who have additional needs, this creates an environment where others aren't used to such conditions and so they react in inappropriate, unhelpful and - sometimes - horrible ways.

I'm not a parent but my three older nephews attend standard schools where other children with extra needs also attend... and this is great as everyone gets used to differing situations and things don't seem out-of-the-ordinary. Hopefully this approach gradually becomes standard everywhere.

* It's Daily Mail Online - soz it popped up on Twitter.

Full article text, link juice nuked from orbit.

An 11-year-old girl who was being bullied has been walked to school by the President of North Macedonia after he heard she was being picked on by her classmates and their parents.

President Stevo Pendarovski held hands with Embla Ademi as they walked to her school in the western city of Gostivar.

He also spoke to Embla's parents about the challenges she and her family face on a daily basis.

Pendarovski was pictured walking hand-in-hand with Embla on Monday after he heard that she was being bullied by classmates.

Some parents had also complained that Embla was in the same school as their children and even boycotted classes that the schoolgirl attended.
President Stevo Pendarovski held hands with Embla Ademi as they walked to her school Edinstvo in the western city of Gostivar

President Stevo Pendarovski held hands with Embla Ademi as they walked to her school Edinstvo in the western city of Gostivar
Pendarovski was pictured walking hand-in-hand with Embla on Monday after he heard that she was being bullied by classmates

Pendarovski was pictured walking hand-in-hand with Embla on Monday after he heard that she was being bullied by classmates
Pendarovski also spoke to Embla's parents about the challenges she and her family face on a daily basis

Pendarovski also spoke to Embla's parents about the challenges she and her family face on a daily basis

The parents had alleged Embla was 'aggressive' and as a result, the schoolgirl had been separated from the other students and worked in a cold school hall with a small heater by her side.

This is despite caregivers at a local centre for children with special needs concluding that Embla had not shown any aggressive tendencies, according to a report in the Rheinische Post.

At the insistence of Embla's parents, the school agreed to integrate Embla back into her class.

But outraged parents protested against the integration plans and boycotted the classes, meaning that since February 1, the 11-year-old girl has been sitting alone in a classroom.

Upon hearing of Embla's treatment, President Pendarovski made a point by visiting her family and walking her to school.

'The President said that the behaviour of those who endanger children's rights is unacceptable, especially when it comes to children with atypical development,' Pendarovski's office said in a statement.
Upon hearing of Embla's treatment, President Pendarovski made a point by visiting her family and walking her to school

Upon hearing of Embla's treatment, President Pendarovski made a point by visiting her family and walking her to school
Some parents had also complained that Embla was in the same school as their children and even boycotted classes that the schoolgirl attended. Pictured: Embla walks to school with her parents and the President of North Macedonia

Some parents had also complained that Embla was in the same school as their children and even boycotted classes that the schoolgirl attended. Pictured: Embla walks to school with her parents and the President of North Macedonia

'They should not only enjoy the rights they deserve, but also feel equal and welcome in the school desks and schoolyard.

'It is our obligation, as a state, but also as individuals, and the key element in this common mission is empathy.

'It will help children like Embla, but it will also help us learn from them how to sincerely rejoice, share and be in solidarity, the president added.'

'We are all equal in this society,' Pendarovski said. 'I came here to give my support and to raise awareness that inclusion is a basic principle.'

The Minister of Education and Science Jeton Shaqiri previously announced that Embla would be reintegrated into her classes.

He said that Embla did not feel happy about returning to school on the first day of the semester in February because he said 'in our society there are still stereotypes and prejudices about people with disabilities.'

'Embla will attend regular classes,' her father Ilir Ademi told NovaTV last week.

'Although there is still no positive reaction from the parents of the other children who petitioned for my daughter to be out of school, I still received a promise from the local government that Embla would attend regular classes in the future and that this unfortunate event would not happen again.'
President Stevo Pendarovski visited in Gostivar the family of Embla Ademi on Monday

President Stevo Pendarovski visited in Gostivar the family of Embla Ademi on Monday

Mr Ademi said that the problems began in November when a group of parents whose parents were studying in the same class as Embla, complained to the principle to remove Embla from the class.

'My daughter was assigned to study in shifts, and to attend classes for two weeks in three different classes,' he said.

'It was supposed to be a temporary solution, due to the petition of the parents, who complained to the principal that my daughter interfered in the teaching process.'

'Embla is constantly with the educational assistant from the beginning to the end of the classes and he would alert if that really was the case,' Mr Ademi added.

'The petition of parents against a child with Down Syndrome is the latest defeat of our society when it comes to the attitude towards the most vulnerable among us,' said the Helsinki Committee for Human Rights.

I really wasn't sure where to put this, if it seems off topic or doesn't seem appropriate for the thread I apologise and I'll start a new thread elsewhere.

So, as I've mentioned elsewhere in the forums, I'm going to Hong Kong in September to study for a year (hopefully, covid allowing). I'd like to try my hand at travel vlogging with a view to doing more in future years. I don't want to make a career of it and I know Youtube is flooded with travel vloggers, it's more a hobby, something I'd like to dabble in.

The problem is I'm borderline phobic about being on camera (both in photographs and in video). I genuinely hate how I look and how I sound, I hate my voice because it sounds weird. And not just in a "everyone hates their recorded voice", I've had people comment on how weird my voice sounds.

I'd really like to get past that and, if not learn to like myself, at least have a level of acceptance. I'm not sure where to start with getting help with this, what sort of therapy to take (not cognitive, I really don't get on with that). I'm not sure what I'm asking here really, maybe just getting some thoughts written down to help me figure something out. I mean, I guess I could just do walking tours of places with no commentary, that seems relatively popular on Youtube

Outrunner wrote:I really wasn't sure where to put this, if it seems off topic or doesn't seem appropriate for the thread I apologise and I'll start a new thread elsewhere.

So, as I've mentioned elsewhere in the forums, I'm going to Hong Kong in September to study for a year (hopefully, covid allowing). I'd like to try my hand at travel vlogging with a view to doing more in future years. I don't want to make a career of it and I know Youtube is flooded with travel vloggers, it's more a hobby, something I'd like to dabble in.

The problem is I'm borderline phobic about being on camera (both in photographs and in video). I genuinely hate how I look and how I sound, I hate my voice because it sounds weird. And not just in a "everyone hates their recorded voice", I've had people comment on how weird my voice sounds.

I'd really like to get past that and, if not learn to like myself, at least have a level of acceptance. I'm not sure where to start with getting help with this, what sort of therapy to take (not cognitive, I really don't get on with that). I'm not sure what I'm asking here really, maybe just getting some thoughts written down to help me figure something out. I mean, I guess I could just do walking tours of places with no commentary, that seems relatively popular on Youtube

Hello mate. This sounds like exposure therapy is the best means to address your hesitancy. On YouTube in particular, something like an odd voice is a great USP if you lean into it and own it. You'll push away the people find it odd, and keep the people who find it compelling. You don't need to satisfy everyone - especially if your preference is to discover a niche.

Here's an example of one of my favourite indie gaming channels who has a really weird but fun voice that I've grown to like.

Clarkman wrote:Hello mate. This sounds like exposure therapy is the best means to address your hesitancy. On YouTube in particular, something like an odd voice is a great USP if you lean into it and own it. You'll push away the people find it odd, and keep the people who find it compelling. You don't need to satisfy everyone - especially if your preference is to discover a niche.

Thanks mate, I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet on this aren't I? I'm not expecting this project to take off (though it would be nice if it does) but with living overseas being such a big thing for me I'd like to do a bit more than just photos.

Outrunner wrote:I really wasn't sure where to put this, if it seems off topic or doesn't seem appropriate for the thread I apologise and I'll start a new thread elsewhere.

So, as I've mentioned elsewhere in the forums, I'm going to Hong Kong in September to study for a year (hopefully, covid allowing). I'd like to try my hand at travel vlogging with a view to doing more in future years. I don't want to make a career of it and I know Youtube is flooded with travel vloggers, it's more a hobby, something I'd like to dabble in.

The problem is I'm borderline phobic about being on camera (both in photographs and in video). I genuinely hate how I look and how I sound, I hate my voice because it sounds weird. And not just in a "everyone hates their recorded voice", I've had people comment on how weird my voice sounds.

I'd really like to get past that and, if not learn to like myself, at least have a level of acceptance. I'm not sure where to start with getting help with this, what sort of therapy to take (not cognitive, I really don't get on with that). I'm not sure what I'm asking here really, maybe just getting some thoughts written down to help me figure something out. I mean, I guess I could just do walking tours of places with no commentary, that seems relatively popular on Youtube

There's definitely an audience for videos that focus on the location or the destination, and not so much on the presenter or host. For example, I watch videos about Japan that just feature the odd bit of on-screen text, little or no on-screen presence from the creator, and people (in the comments, and going by the viewing numbers) seem to love that there's an alternative to channels where it's mainly about the presenter and the location is almost a side-show. Could be a way to explore the idea and not have the concern about your voice or being on camera.

Last edited by Vermilion on Thu Feb 24, 2022 7:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Outrunner wrote:So, as I've mentioned elsewhere in the forums, I'm going to Hong Kong in September to study for a year (hopefully, covid allowing). I'd like to try my hand at travel vlogging with a view to doing more in future years. I don't want to make a career of it and I know Youtube is flooded with travel vloggers, it's more a hobby, something I'd like to dabble in.

The problem is I'm borderline phobic about being on camera (both in photographs and in video). I genuinely hate how I look and how I sound, I hate my voice because it sounds weird. And not just in a "everyone hates their recorded voice", I've had people comment on how weird my voice sounds.

You don't have to provide commentary or appear on camera when making travel vlogs if you'd rather not do so.

I've been doing them for years without either, and i find a lot of folks prefer just to see what places look like rather than someone constantly talking to the camera.

Here's an example...

Good luck with your project anyhow, just make sure you use whichever method you feel most comfortable with.

You could use a pitch shifter or a voice changer if you are desperate, but you're voice is perfectly fine. It makes you you.

Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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