Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Vermilion wrote:My mental health has pretty much completely collapsed over the weekend, i'm trying to sort out a counsellor but it's a work in progress.

Because of everything, you probably won't see me posting much here for a bit.

Your a great person, one of the best on here and if you need anyone to talk to my inbox is always open.. its not counselling but there's always an ear open

Only just checked the forum again, and i really appreciate the support folks, it means more than you may probably realise.

Last night was really rough, my anxiety levels are in such a level of overdrive (when things get bad normally, i take diazepam as an emergency measure but i'm currently on meds which prevent me from being able to do that which is one of the reasons it has gotten to this point), that it has reduced me to a complete mess. I have a counselling session booked for thursday though, so i at least have that to aim for.

Once again though, thank you all for your kind words.

Vermilion wrote:Only just checked the forum again, and i really appreciate the support folks, it means more than you may probably realise.

Last night was really rough, my anxiety levels are in such a level of overdrive (when things get bad normally, i take diazepam as an emergency measure but i'm currently on meds which prevent me from being able to do that which is one of the reasons it has gotten to this point), that it has reduced me to a complete mess. I have a counselling session booked for thursday though, so i at least have that to aim for.

Once again though, thank you all for your kind words.

Very happy to hear you have a session booked and it does help to have something to focus on. I will be keeping my fingers crossed it helps you loads.

Vermilion wrote:Only just checked the forum again, and i really appreciate the support folks, it means more than you may probably realise.

Last night was really rough, my anxiety levels are in such a level of overdrive (when things get bad normally, i take diazepam as an emergency measure but i'm currently on meds which prevent me from being able to do that which is one of the reasons it has gotten to this point), that it has reduced me to a complete mess. I have a counselling session booked for thursday though, so i at least have that to aim for.

Once again though, thank you all for your kind words.

It's good that you have something booked in, hopefully it will help you hold on for the next couple of days until you can speak to the counsellor. Just to echo what others have said, don't lock yourself away - this thread, and forum, are here for you if you need to let off a bit of steam mate.

Okay, so a few more days have passed now, i saw the counsellor on thursday and i think it helped quite a bit.

Still very on edge though, and it seems to be worse at night, so i aim to try and have a quiet weekend and just try to focus my mind on a few positive things such as watching F1 and playing Watch Dogs Legion.

Once again though, thank you for the kind words and support.

This year's dragging ain't it.

Feel very homesick and unhappy on occasion lately. Normally I always try to make it home for xmas/NY but won't be possible this year which is a major downer. Feel somewhat cut off from the world with no gym or in person socialising, it doesn't leave much for me to look forward to. Got regular therapist sessions each Wednesday at least which helps.

Rocsteady wrote:This year's dragging ain't it.

Feel very homesick and unhappy on occasion lately. Normally I always try to make it home for xmas/NY but won't be possible this year which is a major downer. Feel somewhat cut off from the world with no gym or in person socialising, it doesn't leave much for me to look forward to. Got regular therapist sessions each Wednesday at least which helps.

That sucks man, hope you feel better soon.

Are you keeping regular contact with family/friends home via video calls? It's not the same obviously but it's something to help feel you connected.

Yeah hope you can find as much support and connection with loved ones as possible, even if it's just virtual. Goodness knows this year has been a challenge even for people who are relatively local to family so there's no shame in finding it hard when you are so far away.

Vermilion wrote:Okay, so a few more days have passed now, i saw the counsellor on thursday and i think it helped quite a bit.

Still very on edge though, and it seems to be worse at night, so i aim to try and have a quiet weekend and just try to focus my mind on a few positive things such as watching F1 and playing Watch Dogs Legion.

Once again though, thank you for the kind words and support.

Hi mate, just checking in that your weekend went ok and you were able to have the nice quiet time you wanted to engage in some hobbies.

Also, well done on reaching out to get help from a professional.

Rocsteady wrote:This year's dragging ain't it.

Feel very homesick and unhappy on occasion lately. Normally I always try to make it home for xmas/NY but won't be possible this year which is a major downer. Feel somewhat cut off from the world with no gym or in person socialising, it doesn't leave much for me to look forward to. Got regular therapist sessions each Wednesday at least which helps.

Hard to know what to say to you, it's just gooseberry fool isn't it, but I hope you know you've always got us for support whenever you need it.

Thanks guys. It does help being a part of this community.

I'm still using zoom occasionally although less frequently that during the full national lockdown, as my friends in Scotland still see each other in person sometimes which they prefer to spending the night on a laptop (understandably). I've found CoD a good middle ground lately, can chat but the online silences aren't so awkward as you're shooting folk in between.

We've got a couple of secret santa calls planned near christmas and will hopefully grab a couple of them at NY. Just gooseberry fool I can't see folk in person or travel but I always knew this winter would be a rough one - trying to look ahead to the other side of it already.

Lagamorph wrote:

Vermilion wrote:Okay, so a few more days have passed now, i saw the counsellor on thursday and i think it helped quite a bit.

Still very on edge though, and it seems to be worse at night, so i aim to try and have a quiet weekend and just try to focus my mind on a few positive things such as watching F1 and playing Watch Dogs Legion.

Once again though, thank you for the kind words and support.

Hi mate, just checking in that your weekend went ok and you were able to have the nice quiet time you wanted to engage in some hobbies.

Also, well done on reaching out to get help from a professional.

Hey there, yeah, i'm thankfully feeling a lot better now generally, and am now focusing on some more positive upcoming things like the lockdown being lifted (which should allow me to get out and about properly again, and will hopefully allow me to meet up with friends at least once before christmas), and sorting out stuff for Christmas (wrapping gifts/sending cards/sorting out the tree etc).

It's been a long hard road this month, but there is now definitely light at the end of the tunnel, and i really appreciate the friendship you folks have shown me during this time.

Rocsteady wrote:This year's dragging ain't it.

Feel very homesick and unhappy on occasion lately. Normally I always try to make it home for xmas/NY but won't be possible this year which is a major downer. Feel somewhat cut off from the world with no gym or in person socialising, it doesn't leave much for me to look forward to. Got regular therapist sessions each Wednesday at least which helps.

Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time at the moment too, hopefully the therapy will help, and we're also here to talk to should you need us at any time.

Sending my support to Vermi, Rocsteady and anybody else struggling at the moment.

This time of year is supposed to be happy but it can also be the hardest of times depending on individual circumstances.

It will be a tough Christmas for everyone, this year. This thread, and my PM box, are always open if anyone is struggling and needs to chat.

My anxiety has now returned with a vengeance after being told this morning that my brother is showing signs of Covid. Coughing a lot and says his lungs feel terrible, so I'm now incredibly worried about him, my mum and my niece.

I know it's awful to say this but I feel shitty this morning after reading the vaccine news. It is excellent news, my wife is in the highest risk category for God sake, but it's the impending return to "normal" that has immediately put me on a downer. It'll be good to see friends and family again but everything else about "normal" was gooseberry fool and I don't understand why I have to sacrifice everything that's made me happy because some banana split who pays my wages wants to be a nasty, stubborn piece of gooseberry fool.

Zilnad wrote:I know it's awful to say this but I feel shitty this morning after reading the vaccine news. It is excellent news, my wife is in the highest risk category for God sake, but it's the impending return to "normal" that has immediately put me on a downer. It'll be good to see friends and family again but everything else about "normal" was gooseberry fool and I don't understand why I have to sacrifice everything that's made me happy because some banana split who pays my wages wants to be a nasty, stubborn piece of gooseberry fool.

You know what? There's a part of me that feels the same way - I've been loving working from home recently (despite some initial apprehension and a couple of bad weeks).

Hopefully my employer will let me do a bit more of a staggered return or just 2 days in 3 days home.

Lagamorph wrote:My anxiety has now returned with a vengeance after being told this morning that my brother is showing signs of Covid. Coughing a lot and says his lungs feel terrible, so I'm now incredibly worried about him, my mum and my niece.

So sorry to hear this, i hope he recovers soon.

Zilnad wrote:I know it's awful to say this but I feel shitty this morning after reading the vaccine news. It is excellent news, my wife is in the highest risk category for God sake, but it's the impending return to "normal" that has immediately put me on a downer. It'll be good to see friends and family again but everything else about "normal" was gooseberry fool and I don't understand why I have to sacrifice everything that's made me happy because some banana split who pays my wages wants to be a nasty, stubborn piece of gooseberry fool.

In 10 years I really hope you can find the path to contract out instead or form your own firm or partnership so you don't have to deal with that, but then you have to deal with lots of customers which can potentially be bad or worse; at least you can choose not to serve them however.

It's totally understandable if you're forced by whatever force/circumstance/need in society to earn a living this or that way and you suffer because of some parts of that you wouldn't want to return to that. The idea everyone is work shy or unreasonable because they don't get on well in heavily corporatised environments is total bollocks and there really are a lot of alternatives but unfortunately they often don't come with the same securities.

However having been treated like gooseberry fool by zero hours contracts, full time contracts, unpaid internships and temp work and unsupported job interviews etc etc all alike I eventually learnt that this is also a lie, the truth is everything is in a state of flux and no job is "secured" these days, so it sure made me think differently about it and dramatically evaluate what was important to me in life. But I'm "fortunate' enough to be elegible for other securities like I have just finally after years and years of being snubbed sorted out some care arrangements for myself with the neighbourhood support team / adult social care and I get the right disability benefits so I can pay to live as best as I can on equal terms with everyone who does not struggle with communication or anxiety in the typical workplace or anything like that.

Good post from GG there, but also just to say even if you are not able to contract or setup your own: not all places to work are gooseberry fool. Some are even quite nice!

I'd really encourage you to try and look for somewhere better as it sounds like you would be hard pressed to find somewhere as bad as where you are at right now.