Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

There really is a massive difference between being depressed and depression. Everyones gets depressed from time to time and luckily I've never had depression.

My wife has a personality disorder which causes severe depression. Which is bloody hard to live with for both of us.

At the moment she is going through a rough patch with it and it is heartbreaking seeing her so low but I feel drained myself having to keep going and to be strong for her.

suzzopher wrote:My wife has a personality disorder which causes severe depression. Which is bloody hard to live with for both of us.

At the moment she is going through a rough patch with it and it is heartbreaking seeing her so low but I feel drained myself having to keep going and to be strong for her.

That is awful to hear suzz. You seem like a very nice couple, from what I've seen.

Last Summer I had really bad mood swings, I wouldn't eat and never went out with or spoke to friends (and at the time girlfriend). Bit of gooseberry fool time, wouldn't say depression although I was going to see my Doctor if it kept on, it started around June and was stopping by October. Still have no idea why they happened, nothing was particularly wrong in my life, I just got myself down randomly. Often happened at school which was the worst. Hasn't happened in a while, last proper mood swing was around May for a couple of days.

But yeah, not depression, probably down to hormones and whatever. But feeling is feeling low.

jamcc wrote:

suzzopher wrote:My wife has a personality disorder which causes severe depression. Which is bloody hard to live with for both of us.

At the moment she is going through a rough patch with it and it is heartbreaking seeing her so low but I feel drained myself having to keep going and to be strong for her.

That is awful to hear suzz. You seem like a very nice couple, from what I've seen.

She has months of being fantastic and full of life and then bam she'll hit a low and be there for a few weeks sometimes months.

She sees a therapist twice a week and is soon taking on yoga classes to try and relax her. But she has been 'ill' since she was a child so when she has these lows she is very childlike in her outlook on life.

She is also very self destructive(self harming etc) which is bloody hard to understand and impossible to stop her doing it.

jamcc wrote:There really is a massive difference between being depressed and depression. Everyones gets depressed from time to time...

This sums it up pretty well I feel.

I've suffered with depression for years now and I've been on anti-depressants for about 5-6 years.

I'm much better than I was at my worst where I'd go days without eating, cut off contact with friends (many of my friendships are still suffering for what happened years ago) and no go into work (my doctor signed me off a couple of times). At one point I was contemplating suicide. Fortunately for me I had a good friend help me through that period, I know if she hadn't I'd either be dead or sectioned.

These days I'm more or less fine but I still have low periods. When I'm going through those everything is very black and white and there's never in middleground when people talk to me.

jamcc wrote:

suzzopher wrote:My wife has a personality disorder which causes severe depression. Which is bloody hard to live with for both of us.

At the moment she is going through a rough patch with it and it is heartbreaking seeing her so low but I feel drained myself having to keep going and to be strong for her.

That is awful to hear suzz. You seem like a very nice couple, from what I've seen.

Indeed. It's always the nice people who seem to get hit with this stuff.

I reckon it's because they care too much. If you're a cold uncaring tosser you'd probably never bother about anything enough to get that way.

something fishy wrote:

jamcc wrote:

suzzopher wrote:My wife has a personality disorder which causes severe depression. Which is bloody hard to live with for both of us.

At the moment she is going through a rough patch with it and it is heartbreaking seeing her so low but I feel drained myself having to keep going and to be strong for her.

That is awful to hear suzz. You seem like a very nice couple, from what I've seen.

Indeed. It's always the nice people who seem to get hit with this stuff.

I reckon it's because they care too much. If you're a cold uncaring tosser you'd probably never bother about anything enough to get that way.

Yeah true, that's a good point. It's really awful to hear and I had no idea so many people (relatively) on here suffered from it or knew people that do/ have. It's the worst when people like suzz's wife suffer depression for no apparent reason, at least if there's an obvious reason you can understand it a little.

jamcc wrote:
Yeah true, that's a good point. It's really awful to hear and I had no idea so many people (relatively) on here suffered from it or knew people that do/ have. It's the worst when people like suzz's wife suffer depression for no apparent reason, at least if there's an obvious reason you can understand it a little.

True and sadly many cases appear to have no obvious cause. It can be surprising though what you can find when you dig through it with a counsellor.

I've thought long and hard about posting in this topic - as a PAST sufferer for many, many years I'm only too aware that there is still a lot of stigma attached. I also know that 'our kid' also reads / posts on here which makes it all a bit too personal...

I have three things I want to say:-

1. The first is aimed at those who have never suffered. Someone said above that there is a difference between being depressed and suffering from depression, (as in clinical depression). There is - a massive difference. To all those who think you can snap or think your way out of it well try snapping out of being drunk the next time you've had a skinful - you can't - you can't suddenly be stone cold sober after drinking 10 pints of guinness !! Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and in that it is no different to any other physical illness in that it has a physical cause. Try and have some real empathy to sufferers - its an awful, awful, awful illness. And the really sad fact is that a lot of people never even get diagnosed - they know there is something terribly wrong but they don't know what - they wouldn't think to go to their doctor for help.

2. For those current sufferers or those with friends or relatives who suffer - it can be beaten !! I reckon I suffered from about adolescence to around 38 when a pretty lousy 8 year old relationship finally fell apart big style and I ended up at the quacks. For those, what 24 years.... I did some pretty crazy, crazy things, - everyone knew I was a fruitcake but no one knew I was a complete depressive. I had a constant voice in my head telling me I was absolutely worthless, absolutely ugly, and fairly constant suicidal thoughts / imagery - thank god I'm an absolute coward !! But once diagnosed I started to understand what it felt like to be depressed and indeed when I was depressed. I was on and off drugs for a few years - I became convinced it was seasonal depression (SAD) so only took medication in winter. In the end after yet another recurring bout a doctor said she suspected my true problem was chronic anxiety which had a habit of tipping into depression - probably as some sort of bodily relief and she prescribed an anti-depressant I now take everyday which principally addresses the anxiety aspect. Like everyone else I now have my moments but I do now know that I am sane ! (No more negative voice in my head, no more suicidal thoughts - just what I take it it must feel like to be pretty much anyone else dealing with life's problems the best I can.)

3. Do NOT be afraid of medication. There is a load of bullshit fear associated with drugs - see our wonderful media - and its all a bit hit and miss finding the right drug for you - if indeed any will help at all. But for goodness sake don't not give them a proper go. The drug I take daily I regard as some sort of miracle cure - I now lead an extraordinarily normal, (and dull !) life and no I do not miss the highs and lows. I'm just glad to be 'normal'(ish). The only small price I've had to pay for this by way of side effect is reduced sexual desire which is a pretty normal side effect - believe me - its a small price to pay.

Lessons:- I missed out on pretty much all my adolescence and early adulthood in terms of development - my time at university was just an agony of shite - some kind of pergatory, (but I got a reasonable degree !!). Although I've always worked and indeed now I am fortunate to have a well paid job considering I'm a pretty lazy bastard - I missed out on an awful lot. Sometimes I'm mindful to feel bitter but you can't let that happen and to be honest it isn't very often. I never had the children I would have liked but I now have an absolutely wonderful partner, (for what, the last 10 years, so she knew me when I wasn't right..) and have everything to be grateful for. Life gets better and better as my self confidence grows. I think I could have gone further in my career - but that's not exactly the most important thing in the world. Because deep inside I knew something was wrong it also led me on desperate searches to find an answer - music, spirituality etc and these have enriched my life although they couldn't ever solve the chemical imbalance in my head. I have developed a life philosophy which means I actually now worry about very little indeed and I try not to get stressed. There are upsides I guess ! (Oh and I still drink far too much - the classic 'escape' from anxiety and depression !)

Most importantly what I wanted to try and explain to anyone with this illness, or who cares / knows anyone with it is that it can be beaten. I wish everyone the best of luck ! Seek and try help through your doctor and don't take no for an answer and don't let anybody tell you its all 'in your mind'. Do not be afraid of physical cures ie medication for a physical illness. Some people will only every have this briefly if at all. Others will never be truly free. But medicine is advancing and we are perhaps lucky to live at a time when this is so. (Although herbal remedies may well have been useful in the past.)

Good luck - your black dog will bugger off for good some day ! And with a bit of luck he or she will never come back !!

Read the fantastic polemic called 'Against Happiness'.

I've suffered for years but never looked for professional help. I just feel I'd be laughed at. I've known people who 'claim' to have depression and they are just lazy bastards.

It was always there, but for the last few years of Uni the gooseberry fool hit the fan. I'd been stabbed in the back by some friends, others left and I was just left alone. I had problems at home so I just stayed at Uni depressed. I'd just find myself crying for no reason. I felt empty worthless and I felt the only thing keeping me alive was my fear of death. It''s hard to describe other than saying it was Rock Bottom.

I did some research and found out I can get St Johns Wort without prescription and it's one of the few herbal remedies that are proven to work. I started taking that which took the edge off it. I also met my ex online around then and talked for ages with her. I knew her and met up with her a few times. It was a year before we started seeing each other. She was seeing someone which didn't help but just knowing someone like her helped no end.

I moved into my own place, got a job and then ended up seeing her in the space of a few months. To say I was over my depression would be an understatement.

That lasted until a few months back when we split up I'm back on the SJW because I just felt like utter gooseberry fool. I'm going to stop drinking because I get really when when I get to a certain point of drunkeness

JiggerJay wrote:

Stig wrote:

bigcheez2k3 wrote:

Stig wrote:

Stu wrote:

Stig wrote:We have by far the best quality of life and standard of living of any of our previous generations and we also live in one of the best countries to live in in the World. The majority of the World's population lives in **** (literally) and here we are sitting in our warm homes, with cars outside etc etc.

Yet a good chunk of the population is unhappy.

I don't get it.

It's because you're not in everyones life Stig.

I imagine the world would be much better if we all had a bit of stig in our lives.

That's not really what I'm saying though is it. I'm just saying the UK is a great place to live compared to most of the other places in the world.

I believe what Stig is trying to say is that we could be living in France, that would make you depressed.

Not really; in France people are happier. It has better weather, and a much better language.

I think what the Stig means that everyone is missing, is that here in the UK we have it so easy, we have a free national health care service, not many other countries can offer free nhs to their own people, look at america, one of the richest countries in the world, but it still don't know how to look after its people, You get sick, you're strawberry floated.

We dont have war (in this country) we dont have half the gang problem that most other countries have, oh noes 22 people odd have been killed by knifes this year, I bet more than that have died this morning in palastine.

I have no real sympathy for most of the people on depression, because gooseberry fool could be so much worse.

Oh noes our inflation is at 10% almost, oh noes looks at the hyperinflation over at zimbabwe, I would strawberry floating hate to be living there.

Do you actually know strawberry float all or care at all?

Becuase we have better life than some other countries, that means people can't be depressed. Your full of utter gooseberry fool.

And learn some facts please:

NHS: Free Health Service yet it is a terrible service
The USA IS NOT one of the richest countries in the world infact they are one of the most in debt countries running into several trillion dollars.
You don't seem to care about people dying becuase as long as more people die in palastine in a day than die in the uk for the year you dont seem to strawberry floating care.

Yes other countries have it bad but that doesnt mean if you have a series of events family deaths etc happening that you cant hit a almighty low point and feel so bad and be depressed, according to you just look to palastine and you'll be fine is strawberry floating gooseberry fool.

gooseberry fool can be worse but when you get to a point where you don't want to live any more you will want your friends and family by you to help you strawberry floating trust me its not fun and people like you make me sick

Fatal Exception wrote:I've suffered for years but never looked for professional help. I just feel I'd be laughed at. I've known people who 'claim' to have depression and they are just lazy ********.

It was always there, but for the last few years of Uni the **** hit the fan. I'd been stabbed in the back by some friends, others left and I was just left alone. I had problems at home so I just stayed at Uni depressed. I'd just find myself crying for no reason. I felt empty worthless and I felt the only thing keeping me alive was my fear of death. It''s hard to describe other than saying it was Rock Bottom.

I did some research and found out I can get St Johns Wort without prescription and it's one of the few herbal remedies that are proven to work. I started taking that which took the edge off it. I also met my ex online around then and talked for ages with her. I knew her and met up with her a few times. It was a year before we started seeing each other. She was seeing someone which didn't help but just knowing someone like her helped no end.

I moved into my own place, got a job and then ended up seeing her in the space of a few months. To say I was over my depression would be an understatement.

That lasted until a few months back when we split up I'm back on the SJW because I just felt like utter ****. I'm going to stop drinking because I get really when when I get to a certain point of drunkeness

Wow sorry to hear about all that, sounds like a rough time. Surely though getting back with an ex and then breaking up again is a recipe for depression? Avoid the ex!

I've never had depression despite quite a few MAJOR upsets in the last 3 years or so. Surely by this we can conclude that some people are more susceptible to depression than others. Saying that I am lucky in the sense that I have a very strong and supportive family to fall back on.

Neph wrote:

JiggerJay wrote:

Stig wrote:

bigcheez2k3 wrote:

Stig wrote:

Stu wrote:

Stig wrote:We have by far the best quality of life and standard of living of any of our previous generations and we also live in one of the best countries to live in in the World. The majority of the World's population lives in **** (literally) and here we are sitting in our warm homes, with cars outside etc etc.

Yet a good chunk of the population is unhappy.

I don't get it.

It's because you're not in everyones life Stig.

I imagine the world would be much better if we all had a bit of stig in our lives.

That's not really what I'm saying though is it. I'm just saying the UK is a great place to live compared to most of the other places in the world.

I believe what Stig is trying to say is that we could be living in France, that would make you depressed.

Not really; in France people are happier. It has better weather, and a much better language.

I think what the Stig means that everyone is missing, is that here in the UK we have it so easy, we have a free national health care service, not many other countries can offer free nhs to their own people, look at america, one of the richest countries in the world, but it still don't know how to look after its people, You get sick, you're ******.

We dont have war (in this country) we dont have half the gang problem that most other countries have, oh noes 22 people odd have been killed by knifes this year, I bet more than that have died this morning in palastine.

I have no real sympathy for most of the people on depression, because **** could be so much worse.

Oh noes our inflation is at 10% almost, oh noes looks at the hyperinflation over at zimbabwe, I would ******* hate to be living there.

Really can't believe I just read that, especially the no sympathy bit, do you realise that depression can actually be caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain? said chemical being called Serotonin, I would explain what it does but you seem to have zero knowledge on the subject so I wont bother wasting my time.

Well another rough night with the wife and her illness. Sometimes I just want to walk away and forget it all but I know how much she needs me to be strong for her even though I am falling apart myself right now.

I don't know why I have typed this but felt I needed to say something about how I feel somewhere.

Chin up Suzz, sounds like you're doing a grand job. You just keep going mate

Mini E wrote:Chin up Suzz, sounds like you're doing a grand job. You just keep going mate

Cheers I am trying. But her recent breakdown has really taken all the wind out of my sails. I am so emotionally exhausted right now

Yeah I'll bet -- is there not any way you can sorta get 4 or 5 days away just to re-charge? I don't know what your situation work-wise is or anything but there's not like.. a work trip or training trip or anything at all you can go on just to get a bit of momentum going again when you come back?