Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Fri Jun 18, 2021 9:07 pm

I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.

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Zerudaaaaa!
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zerudaaaaa! » Fri Jun 18, 2021 10:58 pm

kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


I recognise that feeling, have had something similar happen in the past. Wish I had some words to help you. You've already helped yourself by expressing and posting it here. Maybe it was a mix up or the customer is just an arse. Keep on doing a good job either way.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Fri Jun 18, 2021 11:10 pm

kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


Unless I've interpretted this wrong, you were only on 50 minutes that day, is there any chance it's someone else she's referring to? It would explain you not recognising their face.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sat Jun 19, 2021 4:32 am

Squinty wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


Unless I've interpretted this wrong, you were only on 50 minutes that day, is there any chance it's someone else she's referring to? It would explain you not recognising their face.


I was on 4 hours but only 50 minutes was front of house the rest of the time I was in the warehouse putting away a delivery. The fifty minutes I was front of house , I was shelf stacking with the odd run to the till to serve someone, with the other lad also going to the till to serve but she reckoned we were both on the till at the same time stood talking and ignoring her , I'm asking my boss today if she's actually flicked through the footage for that 50 minutes. We were the only guys on that day the rest of the staff were female so it's not mistaken identity

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sat Jun 19, 2021 4:36 am

Zerudaaaaa! wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


I recognise that feeling, have had something similar happen in the past. Wish I had some words to help you. You've already helped yourself by expressing and posting it here. Maybe it was a mix up or the customer is just an arse. Keep on doing a good job either way.


Thank you very much for your kind words they really help.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Sat Jun 19, 2021 6:43 am

kerr9000 wrote:
Squinty wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


Unless I've interpretted this wrong, you were only on 50 minutes that day, is there any chance it's someone else she's referring to? It would explain you not recognising their face.


I was on 4 hours but only 50 minutes was front of house the rest of the time I was in the warehouse putting away a delivery. The fifty minutes I was front of house , I was shelf stacking with the odd run to the till to serve someone, with the other lad also going to the till to serve but she reckoned we were both on the till at the same time stood talking and ignoring her , I'm asking my boss today if she's actually flicked through the footage for that 50 minutes. We were the only guys on that day the rest of the staff were female so it's not mistaken identity


Ah, right.

Easy for me to say, but try not to worry about it. You are going to get people who act like this and there's strawberry float all you can do about it. The only thing that really matters is your bosses thoughts on it.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rapidly-Greying » Sat Jun 19, 2021 10:52 am

Fade wrote:I'm not really, just have had enough therapy to be aware of that kind of thing.

I know what would improve my life but it's just hard to do it.

Everything just feels so draining and I don't really understand most people. It's hard to motivate yourself to socialise when you feel like the odd one out in every single social scenario.

I've read a fair bit of what you've written on this thread and I can empathise with you mate, I'm in a similar boat. There is very little that interests about life, I'm just about to turn 45 and my life is just a mess. If I was American instead of British I would definitely have bought a gun and blew my brains out by now.

I appreciate the care though :)

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Sat Jun 19, 2021 11:37 am

Squinty wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:
Squinty wrote:
kerr9000 wrote:I am angry and upset about a work thing it's not that big but it kind of is to me. I only work part time but I try to work hard, I'm polite to customers , well a customer went on Facebook and wrote something saying the two guys on one morning ignored her and the one who served her gave bad service never said hello or goodbye or anything, my boss has appologised to her online and that's angered me more..... The thing is I was only front of house for 50 minutes that day, I've seen the person's face and don't recognize them at all, I'm darn sure I didn't see them let alone serve them, yet I feel there account of a fictitious exchange has been taken as the truth, I also know the other lads super polite so it's just bull gooseberry fool and it has me so mad, it's really playing on my mind.


Unless I've interpretted this wrong, you were only on 50 minutes that day, is there any chance it's someone else she's referring to? It would explain you not recognising their face.


I was on 4 hours but only 50 minutes was front of house the rest of the time I was in the warehouse putting away a delivery. The fifty minutes I was front of house , I was shelf stacking with the odd run to the till to serve someone, with the other lad also going to the till to serve but she reckoned we were both on the till at the same time stood talking and ignoring her , I'm asking my boss today if she's actually flicked through the footage for that 50 minutes. We were the only guys on that day the rest of the staff were female so it's not mistaken identity


Ah, right.

Easy for me to say, but try not to worry about it. You are going to get people who act like this and there's strawberry float all you can do about it. The only thing that really matters is your bosses thoughts on it.



I feel much better about it now, I went into work early this morning pissed off and talked to the boss who was on , she found the footage on CCTV , I wasn't even on the till at the time and my coworker served her and you can see him talking to her so it's there proof she lied. When the big boss came in I demanded an appology and got one, I've also told her I want her to talk to the area manager and let him know the score before he sees it and try to get this complaint deleted. I don't like having to argue my point and back it up but I do feel a lot better for standing my ground

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by imbusydoctorwho » Fri Jun 25, 2021 3:43 pm

I've been having plenty of ups and downs over the years with my depression. But most recently it's been pretty rough, difficulty to breathe when out wearing a mask, when at home, I've even had times when I'm asleep and I wake up gasping for breath. I've been skipping meals and worrying about little things, and obviously the things going on with the Costa woman doesn't help. I have also had some family issues as well.

Yet my Work Coach at the Job Centre doesn't class this as an issue, every time I have a meeting on the phone I have massive panic attacks and anixety over it. I've told them about it and the woman told me, that young lads don't get depression. I've complained but nothing is going to happen, and now I'm being pushed into a place I don't want to go even though they're saying themselves I doing more than enough for my claim a month.

I have worked in a few places, but my previous 2 jobs my depression has got me so down that I use to spent a lot of the time in the toilet crying and going without food for about 10 hours. Or when I have a difficult customer I would suffer panic attacks with pains in my chest and difficulty breathing.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rapidly-Greying » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:08 pm

We have cameras in our kitchen watching our every move. Working for hours absolutely starving and you're scared to even munch on 1 spare chip. Yet the manager comes in and asks for food every day. 'make me a fillet steak/lasagne/steak pie and chips' etc, and the fat c@nt doesn't pay a penny for it.

It makes me sick and extremely f£cking annoyed. Its just another couple of layers added to my anxiety/depression portfolio.

I'll also add that we can eat things that we cook, but it's expensive on the menu and our measly 15% staff discount doesn't make it at all enticing.

The quicker I get another job the better.

Last edited by Rapidly-Greying on Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Prototype
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:14 pm

Rapidly-Greying wrote:We have cameras in our kitchen watching our every move. Working for hours absolutely starving and you're scared to even munch on 1 spare chip. Yet the manager comes in and asks for food every day. 'make me a fillet steak/lasagne/steak pie and chips' etc, and the fat c@nt doesn't pay a penny for it.

It makes me sick and extremely f£cking annoyed. Its just another couple of layers added to my anxiety/depression portfolio.


DM us the name of the kitchen and we can leave a google review for him? :dread: :datass:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rapidly-Greying » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:18 pm

Prototype wrote:
Rapidly-Greying wrote:We have cameras in our kitchen watching our every move. Working for hours absolutely starving and you're scared to even munch on 1 spare chip. Yet the manager comes in and asks for food every day. 'make me a fillet steak/lasagne/steak pie and chips' etc, and the fat c@nt doesn't pay a penny for it.

It makes me sick and extremely f£cking annoyed. Its just another couple of layers added to my anxiety/depression portfolio.


DM us the name of the kitchen and we can leave a google review for him? :dread: :datass:


I wouldn't take the risk as the owner is a nut job who is 3 weeks away from a trial for attempted murder(and he put 2 police men in the hospital). I'm not joking.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:19 pm

Rapidly-Greying wrote:
Prototype wrote:
Rapidly-Greying wrote:We have cameras in our kitchen watching our every move. Working for hours absolutely starving and you're scared to even munch on 1 spare chip. Yet the manager comes in and asks for food every day. 'make me a fillet steak/lasagne/steak pie and chips' etc, and the fat c@nt doesn't pay a penny for it.

It makes me sick and extremely f£cking annoyed. Its just another couple of layers added to my anxiety/depression portfolio.


DM us the name of the kitchen and we can leave a google review for him? :dread: :datass:


I wouldn't take the risk as the owner is a nut job who is 3 weeks away from a trial for attempted murder(and he put 2 police men in the hospital). I'm not joking.


In that case, you should DM Drumstick.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:59 pm

After a pretty rough year studying from home I've had my final essay marks back. Overall my marks are hovering around a high 2:1/low first. I'm genuinely really, really happy with how well I've done. I know that this is only my first year and so my marks don't count towards my degree but I feel like I've rally achieved a lot and it's been such a confidence boost. I get my official results next month.

I'm really looking forward to next year now and I've decided to start learning Japanese over the summer. Plus my grades mean I can apply to study abroad for a year. I need to sort it with student finance as it turns my degree into a 5 year program but can't see there being an issue, I know people who did the Foundation year with me who are going to China and Japan so I'm hopeful I can get something sorted.

Hope this doesn't sound like I'm gloating, just wanted to share a good news story that has improved my mental health this year

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Tue Jun 29, 2021 8:17 pm

Nice one, Outrunner. Good news in this particular thread is wonderful to read.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Tue Jun 29, 2021 8:20 pm

So since I started having issues I'd been living back with my parents for the sake of my mental health (Though returning to my own house sometimes during the day to work), but tonight I'm spending the first night in 11 months back in my own house as a bit of a 'trial run'. So far so good, and if all continues to go well I intend to start easing back even if just one day a week for the time being.
But hey, hopefully it's progress and it keeps on moving rather than stalling.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Jun 29, 2021 11:17 pm

Outrunner wrote:After a pretty rough year studying from home I've had my final essay marks back. Overall my marks are hovering around a high 2:1/low first. I'm genuinely really, really happy with how well I've done. I know that this is only my first year and so my marks don't count towards my degree but I feel like I've rally achieved a lot and it's been such a confidence boost. I get my official results next month.

I'm really looking forward to next year now and I've decided to start learning Japanese over the summer. Plus my grades mean I can apply to study abroad for a year. I need to sort it with student finance as it turns my degree into a 5 year program but can't see there being an issue, I know people who did the Foundation year with me who are going to China and Japan so I'm hopeful I can get something sorted.

Hope this doesn't sound like I'm gloating, just wanted to share a good news story that has improved my mental health this year

It took me until my 3rd year(actually 4th with retakes) and meeting my current partner with my very shaky mental health to finally reach that level of attainment (I started getting 2 or 3 assignments squarely in the 1st bracket towards the end) so that's really good outrunner.

You say those marks don't count but if you stay on that track with what must be pretty good dedication and focus on your studies, you are well poised to move into next year. I wish I was able to or had done that because then I would probably would have left with a 1st class. I did some very odd and pretty innovative work that was hard to pin down.. At one point I was told 2:1 is the best grade because it indicates you had tough subject matter which I largely chose to unearth through study and tackle myself. I wasn't just, painting or whatever. A high 2:1 (I was about 3% off a first) is by no means a bad degree, it's very very good, but that does bode well for you.

Believe me I met plenty of students that just laughed off the first year but then things really hit them in the face when things got more serious in year 2 and 3 when they remembered they (presumably) went to university for a reason. You could literally see some people drop off the radar and the quality of their work just plummet like they couldn't be bothered anymore. Things started getting a bit tougher with less lenient tutorial and they were like, "oh gooseberry fool, this is an advanced level qualification, not a frat house". It's not quite like flunking your GCSEs or A levels (just take an access course or foundation degree), repeating degrees is expensive, exhausting and time consuming. I really feel like some I knew grew up at that stage in their life. Sure there were parties, but they grew direction and they had a serious commitment to what they were doing and why they were there. Maybe this reflection of mine will help you keep sight of that aspiration if things get tough again. Anyway, well done mate.

Oh and one more thing, they say your 1st year marks don't count towards your degree (yet if you fail, you won't progress, so they sort of do...), and they don't affect your classification, but they do show up on your transcript. Sometimes if everyone has a good degree, an MA programme or similar will ask to see your transcript which does include a full list of all tour units and grades on there (if only to outline what the hell you actually did for 3 or more years as a lot of bachelors have very generic titles). Mine is pretty... Interesting. It goes like, 43, 40, 40, 62, 52, 60s, 70s, 60s, 80s, it's wild :lol:. A lot of my marks were capped because they were submitted past the deadline as non-submission automatic retakes. It's always got to look good if you didn't piss up the whole first year because that's what most people do. So you will actually have that in your record in black and white. Hope that's a good thing!

In extreme cases, if a students ends up with something like 69.8% calculated grade for their whole programme, I don't think they'll look back at the whole programme but they might look at the overal impression of effort and how many of your units were actually 1st class (say for example there was a dip that could be explained as an anomaly or non-academic circumstance affected that). Especially if say your grades are mostly or close to 1st class in the final year, as that's more indicative of that's students growth and attainment shortly before the degree is awarded I.e. What level they are at now rather than literally a year ago. Universities have a right to bump up a class in very specific circumstances but the rules they use are all different. I think I know at least one student at my university who was awarded a 1st class despite being on the borderline.

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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Wed Jun 30, 2021 9:27 am

Thanks GG. I think there's a lot of things at play that are falling right for me. First and foremost I'm doing a degree that I'm really passionate about (East Asian Studies) rather than a degree for the sake of taking a degree (like some people I've known in the past). The department (and t be fair, the university as a whole) have been really good with my mental health and I have a lot of safety nets and support in place (a learning support plan, regular meetings with the departmental welfare officer and my personal tutor, an academic mentor who helps me plan my weeks and gives advice on how to deal with feedback, which I still take way to personally, extra time and breaks for exams).

My age is another factor, I think because I'm a mature student I don't have the temptation of parties or whatever (not that thats even an option right now) and I'm doing this degree for me, for my own personal interest as much as anything so I don't begrudge being there. I can tell there are students who begrudge huge aspects of their degree; Japanese studies students who only want to learn the language and don't see the point in their other work, Korean studies students who are gutted that their degrees cover things other than Kpop. I mean my biggest problem going into the second year is there are too many modules I want to do (with no option to do them in my final year), there's just so much interesting stuff and not enough time for me to do it all!

I think the one thing I would like to improve is how to judge my own work. It's not a huge deal but there have been a few times I've thought a piece of work was great and got lower than expected, while assignments I didn't rate highly seem to do really well.

Anyway, I'm really excited for next year now, I've go some great modules to look forward to and, hoping for the best with covid, our field trip to Japan in March!

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dual » Wed Jun 30, 2021 4:11 pm

Good for you Outrunner.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Wed Jun 30, 2021 4:26 pm

Good to hear Outrunner that's amazing news.

I'm currently doing not too bad but where work has been stressful my anxiety has made general life a bit of a pain in the ass again. I'm getting very anxious about the most stupid of things. I keep saying things or doing things or things happen and my brain immediately jumps to holy gooseberry fool you've strawberry floated everything and that person is going to hate you forever/hates you forever already because you're a fuckup. I'm really trying hard to fight that instinct my brain has and think of all the good things that have been happening recently and how one of the people I'm anxious about probably doesn't hate me and actually goes out of their way to come spend time with me and talk with me. It'd be really good if life was easier than this and I didn't care so much about everything I have and don't have control over. Overthinking things sucks so hard.

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