Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
User avatar
Vermilion
Gnome Thief
Joined in 2018
Location: Everywhere
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Vermilion » Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:56 pm

Now that the shops have reopened, i decided today to try and salvage what was left of my mental health as i've been on a gradual downward spiral now for a good few weeks.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, i took a coach into London for a bit of retail therapy. The days leading up to it though saw my anxiety shoot through the roof as it's been the first time i've left town since December 20th.

Anyways, it went ok, i got some of the stuff i wanted (uniqloteewithacatonit.jpg), and it was nice to get out and about again. It's clear though that i was pretty damn rusty as i kept making silly little errors all day (and i think my poor mental health is what caused it as i wasn't always thinking clearly, which in London is not the best), I certainly wasn't at the top of my game today, and i suspect it will be some time until i am able to build up the kind of confidence i had when out places before all this happened.

User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Apr 15, 2021 7:05 pm

I dropped gooseberry fool everywhere in Paperchase and shouted at my partner to "just ask" to clarify what "50% off the reduced ticket price" meant because that was bloody confusing - some of the items had reduced stickers and some didn't (I don't like misleading labelling and getting ripped off in general). I forgot how to Good Consumerist Human. I hate asking questions in shops. Of course this is kind of surreal for the clerks in a store because I'm asking someone to ask something else of another, on my behalf, because I refuse to speak to people I don't know :slol:

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
Zilnad
Member
Joined in 2019

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zilnad » Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:35 am

Had a really rough weekend and still don't feel well this morning. Must've spent at least four hours yesterday just lying on the floor/sofa/bath doing nothing because I had no desire to do anything. I had plenty of opportunities to do anything I wanted but I just felt indifferent to everything. I still feel a bit like that now but not quite as intensely. I don't want to lie on the floor, thinking thoughts and desperate for water today.

This morning the problem is more a feeling of weight in my stomach and general tiredness/nausea with a little bit of despair.

Every day that goes by at the moment, the likelihood of finding myself jobless increases and, although I'm really ramping up my job search now, it feels inevitable that I'm going to end up out of work. I just don't see a way out of it unless I luck out.

Hopefully I'll feel better as the next few days go on but I haven't felt this bad for a long time.

User avatar
Kezzer
Member
Joined in 2012

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:32 pm

Just know that you are allowed to feel like that, and that well all have times in our life where we are the same - dont think any worse of yourself.

Your work seems really gooseberry fool at the moment, and job searching is hard the majority of the time without the added weight of a pandemic ontop - you will find the right thing for you, I am sure of it.

Remember to take some time for yourslef, aayl1 would rrecomend a bit of meditation so maybe try that. Or something as simple as getting out in the fresh air and being in the present moment.

Image
Image
Image

Check out the Digital Combat Simulator thread for some hardcore aerial combat! | Mumble | PCGT V | The Photography Thread
User avatar
Zilnad
Member
Joined in 2019

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zilnad » Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:57 pm

Thank you Kezzer

User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Apr 26, 2021 3:23 pm

It's ok not to be ok

I do the lying on the floor thing sometimes. It helps with my overstimulation of autism. I just like to get a different perspective. Depressed people tend to spend a lot of time looking down (lol).

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
BonalityMatrix
Member
Joined in 2021

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BonalityMatrix » Mon Apr 26, 2021 6:03 pm

I tried to kill myself with a bread knife after a solid week of insomnia - I was having the mother of bad trips and it was all just too much. I was sectioned and everything. Now I'm visibly scarred on my arms and neck.

User avatar
Clarkman
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Clarkman » Mon Apr 26, 2021 6:52 pm

BonalityMatrix wrote:I tried to kill myself with a bread knife after a solid week of insomnia - I was having the mother of bad trips and it was all just too much. I was sectioned and everything. Now I'm visibly scarred on my arms and neck.


Very glad you're alive. Hopefully you feel in safe hands and you're getting some good sleep. The scarring will fade. I promise that most people don't look carefully enough to notice, and if they do, strawberry float em.

User avatar
Prototype
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Mon Apr 26, 2021 6:57 pm

BonalityMatrix wrote:I tried to kill myself with a bread knife after a solid week of insomnia - I was having the mother of bad trips and it was all just too much. I was sectioned and everything. Now I'm visibly scarred on my arms and neck.


Sorry to hear you got to a point where that seemed like the only option.

Are you getting any form of continuing support just now?

User avatar
BonalityMatrix
Member
Joined in 2021

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BonalityMatrix » Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:21 pm

I was but I'm feeling fine now, apart from facing up to what I've done myself.

User avatar
Drumstick
Member ♥
Joined in 2008
AKA: Vampbuster

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:24 pm

I'm glad you're feeling better now. This thread is always here and free from judgement.

One man should not have this much power in this game. Luckily I'm not an ordinary man.
Image Image
"economically unviable"
-Oblomov Boblomov
User avatar
Prototype
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:37 pm

BonalityMatrix wrote:I was but I'm feeling fine now, apart from facing up to what I've done myself.


Glad to hear it.

Not trying to sugar coat things because it’s the easiest thing to do but you don’t have to face up to anything. There’s literally nothing you can do about what has happened in the past.

No matter how gooseberry fool things are at any given time, you never know what’s in front of you and most people are just one decision away from a completely different life.

User avatar
BonalityMatrix
Member
Joined in 2021

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BonalityMatrix » Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:57 pm

Thanks everyone.

User avatar
Vermilion
Gnome Thief
Joined in 2018
Location: Everywhere
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Vermilion » Mon Apr 26, 2021 8:12 pm

Green Gecko wrote:It's ok not to be ok


Agreed, this is a very important thing to remember when you're finding things difficult.

User avatar
Qikz
#420BlazeIt ♥
Joined in 2011

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Tue Apr 27, 2021 10:17 am

I'm glad you're feeling better Bonality. Hopefully everything works out for you and I'm really happy you're still around.



--



In terms of my current mental state I'm still not really sure where I'm at right now. I think I've got over fully now the whole failed relationship thing I went through before, but I think all that's happened is I've now realised how lonely I actually am. I made friends with this other guy and we messed around together last week. I know from the offset that essentially there's no relationship there and we are just going to mess around a bit. I feel really happy about that, but why it's hit me with loneliness is the fact that I've come to realise the second anyone gives me any kind of affection or positive attention I immediately get super jealous if they start showing that attention towards someone else and it sucks. I don't want to feel like that, because I know there's no relationship there, but I think I'm so starved of any form of positive attention from anyone that im almost addicted to it when it finally does happen.

I've kind of got to the point where I've realised it is very likely I'm bi and I'm perfectly ok with that. I just need to work out how to get closer to people without immediately getting super attached and jealous, because that really isn't healthy as its setting off my anxiety to insane degrees.

Image
The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Apr 27, 2021 4:20 pm

It's OK to have trust kinda suspicions if you've never been able to trust affection to be exclusive if you've not had before.

The really hard bit is trust is essential in a relationship while wavering quite a bit. The nature of trust and what trust is to you changes as it does for other people. Behaviours move in and out of trust only situations or exclusive situations. What it means to express personal affection or those "special moments" is hard to pin down. You can grow or rescind your trust in given circumstances unique to you. So can other people.

Basically, there's no real way to be totally protected from hurt if you do decide to trust someone, unless they turn out to be trustworthy. This is hard.

Everyone has a kind of flirtatious level of play with other people, I don't mean sexually, I mean just having a laugh with other people. I'd try not to think about it too much until you know them better. Are there things they do or say that they don't do around anyone else? That probably means they trust you... Unless those are shitty things, of course. Then they're using you.

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
imbusydoctorwho
Member
Joined in 2018

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by imbusydoctorwho » Tue Apr 27, 2021 9:38 pm

My parents found out I've been taking loads of painkillers, due to various issues going on I've just give up with life. I've been on a up and down spiral since 2017 with various problems ranging from loosing relatives, neighbour problems, parents arguing and other serious issues. I did started to feel a bit better in 2019 but then the whole virus stuff happened and I started to feel incredibly low yet again.

Image
User avatar
Tsunade
Member
Joined in 2018

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tsunade » Tue Apr 27, 2021 11:47 pm

Theres always a reason to live. Always. And it never has to be some big reason. It can be something small, like who would be around to feed the cat? Who would enjoy that bird singing out of that window if you weren't there to listen to it?

Things may be hard and issues may be hard to overcome, but whatever it is, you can overcome it. And things pass too. We're all here if you need us.

Image
Image
User avatar
Zilnad
Member
Joined in 2019

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zilnad » Wed Apr 28, 2021 8:54 am

Remember that you won't always feels this way. A time will come when you feel better again, no feeling lasts forever. Things may be bad now, things may even get harder but they will also get better. It's hard not knowing when that time will be but it will.

User avatar
Prototype
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Fri May 07, 2021 6:13 pm

imbusydoctorwho wrote:My parents found out I've been taking loads of painkillers, due to various issues going on I've just give up with life. I've been on a up and down spiral since 2017 with various problems ranging from loosing relatives, neighbour problems, parents arguing and other serious issues. I did started to feel a bit better in 2019 but then the whole virus stuff happened and I started to feel incredibly low yet again.


You have no idea how different your life may be in 1 year. I’ve said it before, but most people are one decision away from a completely different life.


Return to “Stuff”