GRcade

The texting a nice person all day and thinking your in love thing. Some people are just nice people. If you feel as isolated as you do when you're depressed then it's quite easy to get the wrong end of the stick when that happens in my opinion. It's happened with me and women before. You may have just met a new best friend, and you have a lot to talk about, but that doesn't mean your in love! I mean, it's possible, eventually I confessed it and I felt better but really saying it just made me realise how lonely I felt and how much I appreciated having someone I could talk to that easily.

We vowed never to fall out of touch but, alas, we did. THEN I met the woman I love. And I think the difference is maybe we don't talk all that much. We don't really need to talk that much at all, and mostly communicate with cat voices and just get on lol.

Green Gecko wrote:The texting a nice person all day and thinking your in love thing. Some people are just nice people. If you feel as isolated as you do when you're depressed then it's quite easy to get the wrong end of the stick when that happens in my opinion. It's happened with me and women before. You may have just met a new best friend, and you have a lot to talk about, but that doesn't mean your in love! I mean, it's possible, eventually I confessed it and I felt better but really saying it just made me realise how lonely I felt and how much I appreciated having someone I could talk to that easily.

We vowed never to fall out of touch but, alas, we did. THEN I met the woman I love. And I think the difference is maybe we don't talk all that much. We don't really need to talk that much at all, and mostly communicate with cat voices and just get on lol.

.

Is there no-one IRL you can meet up with, or a new club or something that you could join and try out and if you hate it or feel incredibly awkward just don't return?

I think focussing solely on online interactions can actually be detrimental as it convinces you you have enough friends and support but it's really not the same as having face to face time with people.

.

jawafour wrote:Unfortunately, Roc, I do have a few pals but I've gradually been pushing them away over the past few years. I'm generally a positive kinda guy but I'm now not sure if that is a bit of a front. I can boost up the image for periods of time when I do see or speak to people, but, as an extremely introverted and quiet person, I find that mentally exhausting.

I need to take some action to turn things around and, for me, to do that I'll need to have a "list" of things to tackle. Perhaps I'll focus on that... it should give me a kickstart.

Have you seen a counsellor perhaps to chat about your thoughts. I wouldn't say I was depressed but I was very down last year for a month or two but it had been building up .I only had one session but it really helped to focus on a few things and get some fresh ideas plus also to just talk face to face with somebody who wasn't a friend or my partner. Could do you a lot of good and doesn't cost much.

jawafour wrote:Unfortunately, Roc, I do have a few pals but I've gradually been pushing them away over the past few years. I'm generally a positive kinda guy but I'm now not sure if that is a bit of a front. I can boost up the image for periods of time when I do see or speak to people, but, as an extremely introverted and quiet person, I find that mentally exhausting.

I need to take some action to turn things around and, for me, to do that I'll need to have a "list" of things to tackle. Perhaps I'll focus on that... it should give me a kickstart.

Yeah man you should, and maybe that'll kick you out of this mood plus ensure you make positive changes this year.

I'm an introvert as well but it's never held me back in the slightest, if you can put forward some effort and display positivity that's all people give a strawberry float about. Arrange a meet with your mates this week, now's the time of year to do that gooseberry fool.

Even with stuff like the neighbours it is something you can control - I get that some people don't like confrontation but you could even use it as an excuse to spend less time in your flat, go to the library, go to meet ups, volunteer using the skills you have from previous jobs, whatever the strawberry float.

I'm in a very similar place myself, Jawa. And what everyone is saying is true; you do have to be somewhat socially engaged, even on a minor level. I plain don't handle being out for long spells, I lose my enthusiasm and once that happens it's unlikely I'll get it back. But small things are good, just be sure to take them at a pace you can handle.

I want to get active again and am making headway in small ways, but on the day-to-day level it's pretty miserable. But you do have to make those small pushes, even something as minor as arranging a games night or something equally quiet.

Guys, thanks for sharing your thoughts.


(Deleted)

I've posted these titles before on here but imo they are essential reads for introverts:-

Quiet by Susan Cain
The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N Aron

Maybe less so after those too:-

Solitude by Anthony Storr

I'm not trying to be a smart-arse Jawa but from your posts in the games section I thought you might be on a downward curve. We've had all the 'excitement' of Christmas and the New Year. Maybe your body is just trying to tell you, 'look, it's January and it's time for some quiet time'. I sometimes wonder whether that is what depression is, a way of the body taking back control and saying look, we are going to have a rest now. Wish it was more enjoyable though!
I think it could be good for you to get back to work but have you thought about a job that suits your personality or working hours that would help. I know we don't always have the, (financial), luxury of choice in such things but might be worth thinking about.
Good luck!

It's nothing to be ashamed of not wanting to go out and socialise. For years I've made an effort but at the expense of feeling anxious and awkward.

Last year I decided to accept who I am, an antisocial, people loathing, loner. I go to work, come home and do what I want to do, whether that's watching the tv, playing a game or whatever. Acceptance of who you really are goes a long way to internal happiness. I'm not lonely, I like being on my own. I enjoy being with my kids and I have a date buddy who I see every couple of weeks but other than that, I just spend time with me and I'm very content with it.

Rapidly-Greying wrote:It's nothing to be ashamed of not wanting to go out and socialise. For years I've made an effort but at the expense of feeling anxious and awkward.

Last year I decided to accept who I am, an antisocial, people loathing, loner. I go to work, come home and do what I want to do, whether that's watching the tv, playing a game or whatever. Acceptance of who you really are goes a long way to internal happiness. I'm not lonely, I like being on my own. I enjoy being with my kids and I have a date buddy who I see every couple of weeks but other than that, I just spend time with me and I'm very content with it.

That's good to hear and I agree. Being happy with yourself is the main thing. Nobody is the same and everyone has their own quirks. For me I like to socialise but only to an extent,I actually have a bigger problem socialising with family. The majority just seem to irritate me so Christmas with too much family usually gets me on a downer ,I yearn for a Christmas with just me ,the wife and my new boy. Annoyingly my wife loves being around family more than I do so I get dragged into lots of family things.

.

That's nice man. I often speak of how supportive this forum can be.

That's cool. There definitely always is something about this time of year. Mainly at work actually. December at work is so mellow it's brilliant - I only take the bank holidays as leave now it's so quiet, tomorrow though is traditionally one of our busiest days. Doesn't help one of the managers kept going "are you ready for black tuesday" last friday. Really helping everyone's nerves there ya strawberry floatin joker.

After a year of trying, I've finally managed to get an appointment with a community health psychiatrist to talk about potentially having ADD.

It's very hard to get people to listen to your fears when you have a degree under your belt - "Oh you can't have it, you went to uni!" Yep, and I underachieved immensely because I had so much trouble concentrating on the course material, and am now a year behind on my PhD because of the same problems.

This band helped me a lot with my depression last year:



Seeing them live was definitely the happiest and most functional I felt all year.

I really hope I can get started on teacher training this year.

Year.

.

Why wouldn't you be able to get started on your teacher training?

Rocsleddy wrote:Why wouldn't you be able to get started on your teacher training?

Depression?