Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:58 pm
by Green Gecko
It's certainly not helpful in phrasing. I often get that from people who have suffered mental health problems but are currently doing ok which makes it more frustrating. I agree people need to be careful how they post in this topic and be more mindful of what people could be experiencing. It's a very fine line but should be pretty obvious imo.
Qikz, do you take your holidays? I never took my holiday in my permanent job which was a problem. You're entitled to that in addition to your sick leave or any compassionate leave.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:06 pm
by Tafdolphin
I don't think it was meant in any helpful sense. I DMed him explaining how unhelpful it was and received no response. It was a smartarse comment made without thought and like I say, I'm pretty lucky I didn't see it that evening as I was full of alcohol and extremely low.
Anyway. This is not what this thread is for.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:41 pm
by Kezzer
with risk of looking like a smart arse (generally not trying to be here Taf) but if you haven't read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a strawberry float by Mark Manson, you should give it a go.
Excerpt from the book:
There’s an insidious quirk to your brain that, if you let it, can drive you absolutely batty. Tell me if this sounds familiar to you:
You get anxious about confronting somebody in your life. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Oh no! Doubly anxious! Now you’re anxious about your anxiety, which is causing more anxiety. Quick, where’s the whiskey?
Or let’s say you have an anger problem. You get pissed off at the stupidest, most inane stuff, and you have no idea why. And the fact that you get pissed off so easily starts to piss you off even more. And then, in your petty rage, you realize that being angry all the time makes you a shallow and mean person, and you hate this; you hate it so much that you get angry at yourself. Now look at you: you’re angry at yourself getting angry about being angry. strawberry float you, wall. Here, have a fist.
Or you’re so worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying. Or you feel so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you’re feeling. Or you get sad and alone so often that it makes you feel even more sad and alone just thinking about it.
Welcome to the Feedback Loop from Hell. Chances are you’ve engaged in it more than a few times. Maybe you’re engaging in it right now: “God, I do the Feedback Loop all the time—I’m such a loser for doing it. I should stop. Oh my God, I feel like such a loser for calling myself a loser. I should stop calling myself a loser. Ah, strawberry float! I’m doing it again! See? I’m a loser! Argh!”
Calm down, amigo. Believe it or not, this is part of the beauty of being human. Very few animals on earth have the ability to think cogent thoughts to begin with, but we humans have the luxury of being able to have thoughts about our thoughts. So I can think about watching Miley Cyrus videos on YouTube, and then immediately think about what a sicko I am for wanting to watch Miley Cyrus videos on YouTube. Ah, the miracle of consciousness!
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:47 pm
by Green Gecko
My girlfriend got a copy of another book that seems kind of derivative, it's a spin on the book by Marie Curie. I did give it more than a brief flick through last night. It is helpful to know that all of these experiences are human enough for someone to actually go and write a book about it.
I might check out the part about having a "strawberry float Budget", which is a strict mental list of things to which one can give strawberry floats. Anything else, don't give a strawberry float about that.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 6:43 pm
by still
Going to have to set the record straight on this one before I piss off into the ether again!
I am now 55. I have suffered from chronic anxiety, (gooseberry fool childhood), then severe clinical depression, (internal voice that told me I was useless/worthless) and major facial dysmorphia such that, as far as I was concerned, I basically looked like ‘The Elephant Man’. This all started when I was in my adolescence/teens and I wouldn’t say I got anywhere near any kind of normality until nearly 50 years old. As a result, the vast majority of my life was lived in utter misery; any man braver than myself, (I’m pretty cowardly to be honest), would have ended his life a hundred times over but, fortunately?, I’m not that keen on pain/suffering. I am still prone to occasional relapses and will always take a daily maintenance dose of Citalopram. My saving grace has been my wife/partner of 22 years who has stood by me when I’m pretty sure no one else would have. My life today is about 90% really good. I’m afraid sometimes the medicine has to be harsh. Otherwise, those of us with mental health issues tend to wallow in self-pity and that makes things much worse not better. Learn to distinguish between genuine depressive episodes and feeling that the world is all a bit gooseberry fool and then getting very down about it. The two are very, very different and you need to sort one from the other if you are to make ‘progress’. Anyway, I’m on my last night of a wonderful holiday in Tenerife. The people here are some of the friendliest/kindest I have ever met, really genuine. Tonight will be a night of going to a wonderful restaurant and eating too much gourmet food whilst drinking too much, really rather excellent, island wine. I shall be making the most! I think you’ll find that I’ve been there, got the T-shirt thank you, far more than many on here. Happy to help anyone with what I have learned. My advice is not going to pussy-foot around things though. And now, back to Grcade obscurity. Maybe another post in another five or six months, who knows.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:04 pm
by Outrunner
Is it ok to post positive news in here? (I've probably phrased that badly). I making some positive changes but don't want to come across as gloating in a thread where people are struggling and supporting each other. I guess I don't want to upset people or seem unsupportive. Or am I overthinking things?
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:05 pm
by Drumstick
Yes it's fine. People want to read progress here, good or bad.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:03 pm
by Tafdolphin
still wrote:Going to have to set the record straight on this one before I piss off into the ether again!
I am now 55. I have suffered from chronic anxiety, (gooseberry fool childhood), then severe clinical depression, (internal voice that told me I was useless/worthless) and major facial dysmorphia such that, as far as I was concerned, I basically looked like ‘The Elephant Man’. This all started when I was in my adolescence/teens and I wouldn’t say I got anywhere near any kind of normality until nearly 50 years old. As a result, the vast majority of my life was lived in utter misery; any man braver than myself, (I’m pretty cowardly to be honest), would have ended his life a hundred times over but, fortunately?, I’m not that keen on pain/suffering. I am still prone to occasional relapses and will always take a daily maintenance dose of Citalopram. My saving grace has been my wife/partner of 22 years who has stood by me when I’m pretty sure no one else would have. My life today is about 90% really good. I’m afraid sometimes the medicine has to be harsh. Otherwise, those of us with mental health issues tend to wallow in self-pity and that makes things much worse not better. Learn to distinguish between genuine depressive episodes and feeling that the world is all a bit gooseberry fool and then getting very down about it. The two are very, very different and you need to sort one from the other if you are to make ‘progress’. Anyway, I’m on my last night of a wonderful holiday in Tenerife. The people here are some of the friendliest/kindest I have ever met, really genuine. Tonight will be a night of going to a wonderful restaurant and eating too much gourmet food whilst drinking too much, really rather excellent, island wine. I shall be making the most! I think you’ll find that I’ve been there, got the T-shirt thank you, far more than many on here. Happy to help anyone with what I have learned. My advice is not going to pussy-foot around things though. And now, back to Grcade obscurity. Maybe another post in another five or six months, who knows.
I'm happy that you got through your gooseberry fool, I really am. I'll say again though that your response was vague and unhelpful and, especially with you having been through similar situations, you should have known this.
This isn't top trumps. Everyone's got their own story and everyone's dealing with their own demons. You've been through some stuff and like I say I'm really glad you got through it. But everyone deals with these things differently. I'm currently in a place where I have no one to talk to when I feel low. My friends are all back in the UK and there's only so much gooseberry fool I'm willing to let my wife shoulder the burden on. When I post in here I'm not looking for tough medicine I'm looking for recognition and visibility and perhaps a kind word. You didn't know that and I appreciate you were probably giving a response you thought might be useful. But it was also brusque and dismissive and absolutely not what I needed.
That's it.
Outrunner wrote:Is it ok to post positive news in here? (I've probably phrased that badly). I making some positive changes but don't want to come across as gloating in a thread where people are struggling and supporting each other. I guess I don't want to upset people or seem unsupportive. Or am I overthinking things?
And yes, this is good. Post it!
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:10 pm
by That
Outrunner wrote:Is it ok to post positive news in here? (I've probably phrased that badly). I making some positive changes but don't want to come across as gloating in a thread where people are struggling and supporting each other. I guess I don't want to upset people or seem unsupportive. Or am I overthinking things?
I definitely want to hear your positive story Outrunner. This thread is all about mutual support and being able to see when people are on-the-up is an important part of that!
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:48 pm
by Green Gecko
Yeah I saw that Still, once you're done fixing the BBcode please take a break from this thread.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:49 pm
by still
Tafdolphin wrote:
still wrote:Going to have to set the record straight on this one before I piss off into the ether again!
I am now 55. I have suffered from chronic anxiety, (gooseberry fool childhood), then severe clinical depression, (internal voice that told me I was useless/worthless) and major facial dysmorphia such that, as far as I was concerned, I basically looked like ‘The Elephant Man’. This all started when I was in my adolescence/teens and I wouldn’t say I got anywhere near any kind of normality until nearly 50 years old. As a result, the vast majority of my life was lived in utter misery; any man braver than myself, (I’m pretty cowardly to be honest), would have ended his life a hundred times over but, fortunately?, I’m not that keen on pain/suffering. I am still prone to occasional relapses and will always take a daily maintenance dose of Citalopram. My saving grace has been my wife/partner of 22 years who has stood by me when I’m pretty sure no one else would have. My life today is about 90% really good. I’m afraid sometimes the medicine has to be harsh. Otherwise, those of us with mental health issues tend to wallow in self-pity and that makes things much worse not better. Learn to distinguish between genuine depressive episodes and feeling that the world is all a bit gooseberry fool and then getting very down about it. The two are very, very different and you need to sort one from the other if you are to make ‘progress’. Anyway, I’m on my last night of a wonderful holiday in Tenerife. The people here are some of the friendliest/kindest I have ever met, really genuine. Tonight will be a night of going to a wonderful restaurant and eating too much gourmet food whilst drinking too much, really rather excellent, island wine. I shall be making the most! I think you’ll find that I’ve been there, got the T-shirt thank you, far more than many on here. Happy to help anyone with what I have learned. My advice is not going to pussy-foot around things though. And now, back to Grcade obscurity. Maybe another post in another five or six months, who knows.
I'm happy that you got through your gooseberry fool, I really am. I'll say again though that your response was vague and unhelpful and, especially with you having been through similar situations, you should have known this.
This isn't top trumps. Everyone's got their own story and everyone's dealing with their own demons. You've been through some stuff and like I say I'm really glad you got through it. But everyone deals with these things differently. I'm currently in a place where I have no one to talk to when I feel low. My friends are all back in the UK and there's only so much gooseberry fool I'm willing to let my wife shoulder the burden on. When I post in here I'm not looking for tough medicine I'm looking for recognition and visibility and perhaps a kind word. You didn't know that and I appreciate you were probably giving a response you thought might be useful. But it was also brusque and dismissive and absolutely not what I needed.
That's it.
Outrunner wrote:Is it ok to post positive news in here? (I've probably phrased that badly). I making some positive changes but don't want to come across as gloating in a thread where people are struggling and supporting each other. I guess I don't want to upset people or seem unsupportive. Or am I overthinking things?
And yes, this is good. Post it!
Here’s the rub,- I don’t give a gooseberry fool what you think.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:50 pm
by Green Gecko
OK good to know, you are now banned from this thread seeing as all's well with you anyway it seems.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:50 pm
by still
Green Gecko wrote:OK good to know, you are now banned from this thread seeing as all's well with you.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:52 pm
by Green Gecko
This isn't "I won at depression, check it y'all not being enlightened yet".
I had the same experience and I had to lose a good friend who I helped when they were ill. Sadly I agree with the other 3 or so posters, it's not constructive forcing through a "lol I don't care and neither should you" type rapport in this particular space.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:55 pm
by still
Green Gecko wrote:This isn't "I won at depression, check it y'all not being enlightened yet".
I had the same experience and I had to lose a good friend who I helped when they were ill. Sadly I agree with the other 3 or so posters, it's not constructive forcing through a "lol I don't care and neither should you" type rapport in this particular space.
Carry on talking shite.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:57 pm
by Knoyleo
strawberry float off Still. You've done this in here before, as well, so you should already know it's not welcome.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:00 pm
by Rocsteady
Are you drunk? No need to act the big man in here. Your first post was a gooseberry fool, thoughtless response to taf and your last few have been even worse. This thread helped me massively recently when I was on the brink and for that I'm grateful to everyone who reached out. Posts such as yours would not have helped. Don't be a banana split.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:01 pm
by Green Gecko
You're literally on an island beach on holiday drinking with your family and all is well, unless you are exaggerating.
Don't be a banana split or you will be permanently banned. Thanks for reading.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:49 am
by Tafdolphin
still wrote:Happy to help anyone with what I have learned
still wrote:Carry on talking shite.
Charming man.
Anyway. Thanks Gecko. Given the way he responded to your story of losing a friend I'd argue he's done enough to warrant a permanent forum ban but I'm just happy he's banned from this thread.
Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 7:20 am
by Victor Mildew
Not that it's needed, but just to chime in on how unhelpful that kind of talk is and how dangerous it could be.
A while back on here I was feeling really down, and needed to share in this thread about how gooseberry fool I felt my relationship with my friends was, to be met with a particular poster saying something along the lines of, "well if you're as much of a banana split in real life as on here then it's no wonder nobody wants to spend time with you". That was the end of me feeling I could come in and properly get something off my mind, I felt I'd be ridiculed and bullied for doing so. Now a couple of months ago I felt absolutely strawberry floating awful, proper rock bottom. I'd had a dreadful experience one weekend and I couldn't stop thinking about it, having harmful thoughts, but because of that post, I didn't say anything detailed about it, so I bottled it up.
Imagine that if someone was feeling like harming themselves. Think before you mock people in here, some are really close to bad things happening.
