GRcade

Jesus strawberry floating Christ.

My sincere condolences.

That is horrific, I'm so very sorry for your loss

Chickenwings147 wrote:so, it's been a long time since i logged onto the forum and posted, but i always read every day

today, in the early hours of the morning I came downstairs to find my wife dead.

after a few days of coughing/sneezing (I've had a cold and assumed she'd picked it up from me) she seemed worse thursday night and i said to get an emergency doctors appointment the next day.
at 4am I woke and seeing she wasn't in bed, i went to find her, and she'd gone downstairs and was on the kitchen floor. im in shock. im scared and feel absolutely devastated.

we've been together 24+ years and god knows what im going to do without her. no idea why im here getting this out here after such a long time not posting but i'm all over the place at the moment

I am so sorry to hear this. Please reach out for support wherever you can get it.

Sorry to hear that mate.

It's coming up to a year now since I lost my Mum and I keep stupidly looking at old photos as if it's going to make things easier. So many things in my life have changed since back then and I honestly don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I hated school, but everything outside of school in my childhood was amazing. My family back then were all alive (mostly) and there wasn't any major rifts in it (everything got bad on my Dad's side once my Nan died a few years ago).

I'm pretty happy with who I am now and what I have, but it just hurts so strawberry floating much still. I thought things would get easier and I guess they have been getting slightly easier, maybe it's just because it's close to the anniversary of it all. I just miss her so much and I don't think that's ever going to change. Seeing pictures from like 2004 when her life wasn't completely gooseberry fool as well (she was ill back then, but it all got much worse in 2007) makes it even harder. I know she wasn't happy and outside of her relationship with me especially the last few years of her life she pretty much hated everyone and everything. She lost contact with her own family not for any bad reasons or anything but she was always scared to phone her brothers as she knew all she'd do was cry at them down the phone and obviously my Dad left her in 2007/2008 as well which she never truely forgave him for, although they did somehow stay friends.

She was suffering so much and I know that at least she isn't suffering just for being alive now due to all her illnesses and deep down I understand it's selfish to have wanted her to suffer longer just so she'd be around for me. One thing I can say at least is I don't feel like I have any regrets about our relationship, we were always super close and she was the most important person in my entire universe. I think my only regret is maybe I relied on her too much as now she's gone I've been struggling to offload things as I've lost the person I used to tell everything to. Sorry for typing all this here but I really need to get it off my chest and even though I love my Dad he's terrible when it comes to dealing with me when I'm emotional - not in a bad way, it's just he doesn't know how to do it.

hard to say gooseberry fool like this when people post in here having lost other people but the other week I was ready to kill myself and set out to do it

I changed my mind in the end obviously and today put a deposit down on a place back in cheshire where I like it

hope I dont come down again but its going to be really hard as Im seriously in debt from when ex cleared my accounts out but I hope its gonna work out

Commiserations, Chickenwings. Can't really imagine what you're going through. I hope you have some close family members or friends who can help you out around this time. There are ways of getting more help if you need it - there are bereavement helplines and other resources that can genuinely make a big difference. I hope you can find a way through all this.

EDIT: Same to you False. I hope you can get all the help you can. I wish you luck.

I really get upset reading these things and I don’t know where to start with chicken wings devastating news. All I can say is I’m so so sorry for all your problems and situations but more importantly, please don’t feel the need to explain why you are posting here, it’s why this thread exists.

False wrote:hard to say gooseberry fool like this when people post in here having lost other people but the other week I was ready to kill myself and set out to do it

I changed my mind in the end obviously and today put a deposit down on a place back in cheshire where I like it

hope I dont come down again but its going to be really hard as Im seriously in debt from when ex cleared my accounts out but I hope its gonna work out

Falsey, never, ever let those bastard voices in your head win, never!

As far as I am aware you're a young chap with a lots of chances ahead of you that you aren't even aware of yet. In years to come I'm expecting to see you as a famous driver, writer or something, whatever. Make sure you get to live those futures out and prove me right!

Very brave of you to start again in Cheshire, I hope it's a nice place.

Take care of yourself.

Sending deepst condolences, chickenwings. I can't imagine the shock and mix of emotions. I hope you get some support with the practical arrangements in the days to come.

I don’t know your circumstances but I spent the bulk of last year homeless, hopeless and psychologically broken. I still have a lot of healing to do and the festive period broke what was left of me I’m now going hour by hour with my puppy

H3AN3Y wrote:I don’t know your circumstances but I spent the bulk of last year homeless, hopeless and psychologically broken. I still have a lot of healing to do and the festive period broke what was left of me I’m now going hour by hour with my puppy

Good luck mate.

H3AN3Y wrote:I don’t know your circumstances but I spent the bulk of last year homeless, hopeless and psychologically broken. I still have a lot of healing to do and the festive period broke what was left of me I’m now going hour by hour with my puppy

Stay safe bro xx

Wishing all the best to everyone who's pushing through gooseberry fool right now.

I had a rough year June 2018 - June 2019 but its strawberry floating nothing compared to everyone else in this thread. Thank you for showing me some perspective and for reminding me to savour the good times.

Thoughts with you all x

As some people may have noticed I am currently distracting myself shopping for strawberry floating paper while filling out my government and finance gooseberry fool, like tax return, credit transfers and in-work benefit applications which all need to be done at the same time.

My mind is a void of decision making with various implications that won't come around until months later. At least, I started cutting up some papercraft (the only thing useful I could think of printing to charge the printheads) while on hold to the DWP for 40 minutes, only to find out they lied to me and I had another 30 days to sort that out this entire time I've been worrying about it.

For those of you that get told what to do at work, honestly, you're better off, mentally speaking.

"How can I spend 2020 making myself more successful?" Only like one million different things

I went out with some ‘friends’ tonight as my fave club In Manchester was being closed down

And then I saw the texts the texts they were sending about me

I’m supposed to sleep at their place tonight

In a cab with them and just wanna cry and hang myself

My strawberry floating friends are even treating me like strawberry floating turd

I’m done

strawberry floating dogshit sorry everyone

False wrote:I went out with some ‘friends’ tonight as my fave club In Manchester was being closed down

And then I saw the texts the texts they were sending about me

I’m supposed to sleep at their place tonight

In a cab with them and just wanna cry and hang myself

My strawberry floating friends are even treating me like strawberry floating turd

I’m done

strawberry floating dogshit sorry everyone

Falsey if you're back on don't do anything stupid man. You can always make new friends and this gooseberry fool will pass- you've been through serious episodes before so you know things can get better. You've posted in the past when happier which means it can happen again.

Anyone got his number/ social media deets and can reach out?

Falsey, try to compartmentalize what's currently going on in your life and push the negative stuff back. It's tough, I know, I've been there (it's what prompted my move from my hometown many years ago). You'll often find who you can count on in these situations and I would strongly suggest binning off those so called friends immediately and reaching out to someone you know who you can trust. Like Rocsteady said, don't do something stupid, rise above it. Focus on your move to Cheshire and try to look ahead. Easier said than done, true, but it's not impossible no matter how gooseberry fool you're feeling right now.

Rocsteady wrote:

False wrote:I went out with some ‘friends’ tonight as my fave club In Manchester was being closed down

And then I saw the texts the texts they were sending about me

I’m supposed to sleep at their place tonight

In a cab with them and just wanna cry and hang myself

My strawberry floating friends are even treating me like strawberry floating turd

I’m done

strawberry floating dogshit sorry everyone

Falsey if you're back on don't do anything stupid man. You can always make new friends and this gooseberry fool will pass- you've been through serious episodes before so you know things can get better. You've posted in the past when happier which means it can happen again.

Anyone got his number/ social media deets and can reach out?

I lost his number but have messaged someone to check in on him.

Any word yet? Only just seen this now, I hope Falsey is doing okay.

Edit - And Chickenwings, take care of yourself. If you need to vent, the forum is here and happy to listen to you.