Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sat Feb 29, 2020 1:53 pm

Kezzer wrote:What hobbies do you have fade? is it worth looking out with your workplace for support.

Maybe, I did used to socialise via Pokémon Go when I lived in a bigger city, but even then people weren't very receptive when I tried to talk to them outside of playing the game. One guy I did chat with quite a bit got hung up on the fact my avatar was female :roll:

The point is I shouldn't have to feel like that. Everyone else at my workplace has friendships through work. People make a lot of assumptions about me because of my gender and it's becoming really bothersome.

I mean I work with kids and have not once been asked to babysit yet literally every woman there has been, even ones less qualified than me. I think we know why.

And like I appreciate it when parents get me gifts (a lot) but it's just another example of how sexist people are, all the women get flowers, candles and stuff from lush. I would love that gooseberry fool.

I'm really just getting so incredibly strawberry floating tired of it all. It feels like I'm being forced into this little box.

Image

SW-0093-4365-9039
User avatar
Kezzer
Member
Joined in 2012

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Sat Feb 29, 2020 2:01 pm

It seems like you really take pride in your work but feel frustrated at how others treat you.

when you say you feel "forced into a box" in what way?

Image
Image
Image

Check out the Digital Combat Simulator thread for some hardcore aerial combat! | Mumble | PCGT V | The Photography Thread
User avatar
Curls
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sat Feb 29, 2020 2:48 pm

What do you do fade?

Gender segregation is a strange one, and I feel it is often being flipped the other way now.

Sure, men are still the gender with the most advantage, the figures are there, and all the rest. But I suffer from this feeling as well a lot if it helps.

I get along with woman better, I like them more, I understand them more. But yet, they do this horrible thing every so often 'Girls night.' Where basically a group of my female friends will segregate me because I'm male. I don't want to go out drinking and being a nuisance with the lads, i hate that gooseberry fool. I would like to be invited around for pizza and wine, but no, I have balls s I can't do that.

In my workplace it's not so bad, but the women are definitely treated differently than the men. I'm in a strange situation where I live where I work, in a very MALE dominated environment, but my actual colleagues are mainly female. The men around camp see my female colleagues as eye candy they want to try to sleep with (and often do) and aren't interested in me at all because Im male.

HOWEVER, this is a bitter viewing of the whole thing. What if I tried to get to know these 'shallow' men and treated them all as individuals and actually came across as a bit more interesting? Would I be angry because they're shovenistic pricks, and treat my female colleagues like objects? Or would I realise we are all human and all individual and not all of them are not so bad?

One thing I do know is that my female colleagues have a reputation wide amongst the military for being easy girls to get with, and are pissed off about it. But I am really not surprised. However, again each girl is an individual too, and they're not all the same :)

Thing I reccommend for you fade, is yes you are probably in a segregated minority. But you have to stop feeling like the victim, accept your role, and try to change things. I am learning that about myself here too. People like me and want to spend time with me, just because I'm not an alpha male or an attractive female, does not mean I don't deserve the right to have friends and fit in.

User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sat Feb 29, 2020 11:59 pm

Kezzer wrote:It seems like you really take pride in your work but feel frustrated at how others treat you.

when you say you feel "forced into a box" in what way?

I mean I feel like people expect me to act a certain way and make judgements about me because I'm a straight male. It's also not socially acceptable for me to treat my female co-workers in the same way other female co-workers would.

It's a lot of what you said Curls. Segregation because of my gender, people assuming I don't like 'girly' stuff.

Yes women have huge disadvantages in the workplace and from predatory men but in a social setting I think they have far more advantages than men do, and nobody ever seems to acknowledge that. Like as a woman you can literally wear whatever the strawberry float you want, do whatever you want and nobody will really judge you.

I am trying to change things but it's hard, they think me being vegetarian is weird :lol: so I think social change will be a challenge.

Image

SW-0093-4365-9039
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Mar 01, 2020 12:58 am

just play with it dude, make your space

these mummy strawberry floaters still might not invite you out to wine night or whatever but that’s no reason for you to not put some flowers on your desk or talk about your lush haul or wear a strawberry floating dress at the weekend if you want to

life is short, it’s a gooseberry fool a lot of the time, but don’t deny yourself to yourself man

here I am, blind leading blind, but mate if I have one piece of actual sage wisdom in my shot for brains head, it’s be your authentic self

and strawberry float those mummy strawberry floaters if they don’t wanna hang with you, I’ll hang with your lame ass and you can hand with mine

peace

Image
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Mar 01, 2020 1:00 am

also women get judged for what they wear

see: prudes, sluts, power dressers, povvos etc etc

don’t go too far down that red pill rabbit hole, societal norms suck ass for all of us in different flavours

Image
User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Mar 01, 2020 1:24 am

Right but I mean stuff like wearing male style clothing is not going to turn heads as a woman.

And if a man does a "woman's" job it's seen as weak and 'beta' where as if a woman does a man's job it's empowering.

Not to mention the whole body positivity thing, women increasingly get told they're beautiful no matter what and if anyone says anything negative it's 'body shaming'. Where as if you haven't got a 'manly' body you may as well go hang yourself :lol: the amount of women I've seen say they like dad bods is insane, I've even seen a couple saying they don't like skinny guys. It's really great as a skinny guy who can't put on weight.

Being a man just feels like "act this way, wear this or you're a strawberry floating weirdo" and I'm really reaching the end of my tether.

Image

SW-0093-4365-9039
User avatar
Pedz
Twitch Team
Joined in 2009

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Pedz » Sun Mar 01, 2020 2:36 am

Isn't a dad bod just a thin person with a beer gut?

Image
User avatar
Curls
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sun Mar 01, 2020 5:46 am

It's a slightly overweight but not obese person, a bit of boob a bit of belly.

User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Mar 01, 2020 8:31 am

Fade wrote:Right but I mean stuff like wearing male style clothing is not going to turn heads as a woman.

And if a man does a "woman's" job it's seen as weak and 'beta' where as if a woman does a man's job it's empowering.

Not to mention the whole body positivity thing, women increasingly get told they're beautiful no matter what and if anyone says anything negative it's 'body shaming'. Where as if you haven't got a 'manly' body you may as well go hang yourself :lol: the amount of women I've seen say they like dad bods is insane, I've even seen a couple saying they don't like skinny guys. It's really great as a skinny guy who can't put on weight.

Being a man just feels like "act this way, wear this or you're a strawberry floating weirdo" and I'm really reaching the end of my tether.

I think you're living in a bubble of negativity.

So what if a couple of women don't like skinny men, plenty women don't like over-muscled men. Many male models are extremely slim. I know some beautiful female models whose boyfriends are skinny.

You can either try to accept your place in the world and get more comfortable with where you fit. Or change, bulk up, become more outwardly feminine, or masculine, it's up to you. But you're wasting your life bemoaning the world as it is. There's nothing worse in a personality trait than complaining about a situation without adapting. The world's not going to change for you.

Image
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Mar 01, 2020 9:05 am

Dude literally one of my greatest dating weapons has been my slim, built-like-a-rake physique

It doesn’t work for everyone but then again, neither are women’s bodies universal - I don’t wanna date a pro-ana or ssbbw after all

I think what you are doing is negative reinforcement, and I know this is rich coming from me, or perhaps it isn’t being as I am having some very visible issues with it right now, but if you only look for the negatives you get the negatives and they breed more... negatives

Now this about to be some lame gooseberry fool to hear, but none of your work colleagues are obliged to hang around or be friends with you. It sucks that they won’t give you the opening to prove you could be a good friend but that’s just the meat of it - and I have to say, if this is how it’s been for years, it ain’t gonna change. That’s fine, that’s not where you gotta find your value my dude

I looked on the internet and found a small indie gaming cafe near me, I went a few times and bought a painting kit and asked a few people for input, then I learned to play with a few people, blah blah, now I attend a regular dungeons and dragons game and we have a beer and some scran and a laugh - I know what I went for in my social targets is pretty lame, but the point remains, put yourself out there, put the ego at a bit of personal risk and chase that social life, but remember, no other person owes you anything just because you are there




and this isn’t me being mean but you really gotta change your viewpoint on the matriarchy vs patriarchy issues bro or you are gonna end up redpill and that’s a real bad look and you don’t want those friends my man

Image
User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Mar 01, 2020 10:14 am

Thanks for the responses.

Just to be clear I am trying to be proactive but I'm also very pissed off about how people at work make me feel because of my gender.

Also I live in a town filled with old people and chavs :lol: it doesn't really have any proper hobby groups.

I've been looking at going to Yoga classes but I can see that being the same problem as work.

Image

SW-0093-4365-9039
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Mar 01, 2020 10:20 am

it’s as much a problem as you make it

I hang out with people 20-30 years older than me on occasion, all genders, all social classes

the secret is, is that there are actual human beings inside those shells, and a lot of them are worth giving a chance

Image
User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Mar 01, 2020 1:34 pm

I agree. I give everyone a chance, I'm the one not being given a chance :lol:

Image

SW-0093-4365-9039
User avatar
Curls
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sun Mar 01, 2020 1:47 pm

I am very bad for this myself, but making yourself feel the victim won't get you anywhere. I'm not saying 'do something about it and change everything about yourself.'

But what I am saying is ' Accept that life isn't always fair and don't let the things that are unfair destroy you.'

If people don't give you a chance, strawberry float them people. If you want them to like you, try again, and if they still don't. Let it go!

Try some other people, and if them other people don't give you a chance, move on again. Focus on yourself, do what you want to do, but be kind and try to look after others as you go along that path.

Easier said than done definitely, but I'm trying hard myself to not feel victimised when I haven't exactly had it easy from my friendships of late.

But if I told some people about these issues they'd laugh at how insignificant they are, or how silly it is to them. I'm not saying that my issues are small, they've been huge to me, but from a different angle, a different mindset they're nothing much.

Be kinder to yourself, appreciate who you are. If you're a skinny guy who likes flowers and cucumbers eyed spa-sessions. Embrace it and enjoy it. don't question why other people don't understand that? You know you like that, you enjoy that if you can. Appreciate yourself and buy yourself some flowers, and put them on your desk, go to the spa, wear a skirt, do something nimble that only a skinny guy could do.

User avatar
Kezzer
Member
Joined in 2012

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Sun Mar 01, 2020 4:29 pm

Falsey and curls speak the truth.

There is only one person responsible for your own happiness and that is you.

Go out and do what you want to do.

Image
Image
Image

Check out the Digital Combat Simulator thread for some hardcore aerial combat! | Mumble | PCGT V | The Photography Thread
User avatar
Squinty
Member
Joined in 2009
Location: Norn Oirland

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Sun Mar 01, 2020 4:56 pm

Fade wrote:Right but I mean stuff like wearing male style clothing is not going to turn heads as a woman.

And if a man does a "woman's" job it's seen as weak and 'beta' where as if a woman does a man's job it's empowering.

Not to mention the whole body positivity thing, women increasingly get told they're beautiful no matter what and if anyone says anything negative it's 'body shaming'. Where as if you haven't got a 'manly' body you may as well go hang yourself :lol: the amount of women I've seen say they like dad bods is insane, I've even seen a couple saying they don't like skinny guys. It's really great as a skinny guy who can't put on weight.

Being a man just feels like "act this way, wear this or you're a strawberry floating weirdo" and I'm really reaching the end of my tether.


Oh believe me, eventually, you will :lol:

User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Mon Mar 02, 2020 4:36 pm

just been discharged!

they still gotta come see me every day at home but things are looking up my dudes

Image
User avatar
Zilnad
Member
Joined in 2019

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Zilnad » Mon Mar 02, 2020 4:54 pm

False wrote:just been discharged!

they still gotta come see me every day at home but things are looking up my dudes


Excellent! Now get that RuPaul S11E1 watched. It's an amazing start, gonna be a good season :msgreen:

User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Mon Mar 02, 2020 5:06 pm

aww strawberry float I totally forgot

Im on it

Image

Return to “Stuff”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Joer, Trelliz and 56 guests