Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Vermilion
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Vermilion » Sun Dec 20, 2020 7:58 pm

awaayl1 in a manger wrote:Not mental health related but reminded me of a girl I knew who got IBS for life coz she strawberry floated some guy with a massive dick

Big dick -> Nasty UTI -> Nasty antibiotics -> all healthy gut flora devastated beyond repair -> thus far incurable IBS


And he was a one night stand.

Merry Christmas!


I shouldn't have laughed at this, every ounce of my own moral fibre told me not to, but i did, and now i can't stop.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Skarjo » Mon Dec 21, 2020 10:12 am

awaayl1 in a manger wrote:
Throne of Lies wrote:I’ve been prescribed 50mg of Desvenlafaxine a day, and I’m not sure what that means beyond having hit the nausea with all the other post-hernia drugs I was given that it faded after about 3 hours.

The thing that really strawberry floats me off is that apparently no one who was responsible for putting me on heavy stomach medication thought to tell me that a side effect of effectively not having any gastric acid since February is clinical depression because you can’t process vitamin B12 into serotonin.

And now I’m taking pills that make me want to vom out a lovely brunch coz all I want is the motivation to make having a shower not feel like the only thing I can hack in a day.

...

:toot:


Sounds fun!

Not mental health related but reminded me of a girl I knew who got IBS for life coz she strawberry floated some guy with a massive dick

Big dick -> Nasty UTI -> Nasty antibiotics -> all healthy gut flora devastated beyond repair -> thus far incurable IBS


And he was a one night stand.

Merry Christmas!


:lol:

Holy gooseberry fool that's amazing.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Mon Dec 21, 2020 10:18 am

So between Covid and Brexit related news the last few days have hit my mental health a little hard, it doesn't help that a few days in the past week I've forgotten to take my Sertraline on a morning. I've remedied that by setting a reminder on my phone for every morning, but with so much doom and gloom in the news it gets hard to try and see any bright sides coming along. Especially when suddenly there's talk of potential food and medicine shortages coming up and reports of gigantic queues beginning to reappear at supermarkets and shelves being stripped clean again.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:09 am

Lagamorph. Have you thought about doing a media blackout? Everything you seem to be getting worked up over is out of your control. I hope that doesn't sound blunt, as I do care, and try my best to emphasise. But at the same time, one thing I've really been trying to focus on is what i can do for ME. Things out of your control, are exactly that, you can't change them to make things better, to make yourself feel better, then why the hell should they be allowed to make you sad.

Boris strawberry floats christmas? I can't control that, there is NOTHING I can do. What can i do right now for me? a nice walk in the winter sunshine perhaps? That's in my control and I can do that to make myself feel better.

Turn the news, the aps, the social media off. Hhell this forums negative threads, dont go in them. Focus on the small things that you enjoy that you can use to improve your mental well-being.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:19 am

That is what I'm trying to do really, now that I'm off work that should be a bit easier (it can be hard to avoid the news when you work for a company with a news website and 24/7 news channel).
Part of me worries that it's burying my head in the sand and just hoping that it all works out but that could then end up leaving me unprepared for things.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa2 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:23 am

Curls wrote:...Turn the news, the aps, the social media off. Hhell this forums negative threads, dont go in them...

Hugely in agreement with Curls. Social media and, well, news in general can be positive in some cases but also a big driver of anxiety and conflict. Having a smart phone and looking at it ten times an hour can just drive up your time spent on these unwanted effects. There are benefits, of course - keeping in touch with your online pals can be an excellent thing! - but it's probably better to try and avoid stepping too often into platforms / apps / threads that you kinda already know will just bring you down.

Self-management in these areas is becoming crucial as they increasingly become a part of our lives; especially in these lockdown periods.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Tue Dec 22, 2020 10:54 am

Well this is a nice way to try and recover my mental health.
Apologies for this post but I just need to vent somewhere.

Take a break from the news, relax a bit and start to get just a bit chilled out, and then instead get treated to sitting upstairs and listen while my parents, my brother and his cheating bitch wife have a massive argument over my niece.
Cheating bitch is once again trying to play the "Well he's not innocent" card and just trying to throw blame on anyone but herself and how "It's being brought up out of context". You sent strawberry floating naked pictures and texts about how you couldn't wait to strawberry float him to a guy on Facebook! What strawberry floating context do you think makes that better? Apparently bro "Isn't innocent" but won't/can't bring up any examples of what she means. This woman also swore on her daughters life that she hadn't done anything, 30 minutes before confessing to everything.

Oh and now they're accusing dad of "saying he was done with his grand daughter" when he said he was done with arguments and how mum was regularly getting mouthfuls from both bro and his wife. This is despite the fact that cheating bitch caused bro buying new house to completely fall through but still sell their current house, so my parents cancelled the sale of their rental house that they had confirmed no-chain offers on to let bro, his wife and his niece move in for next to no rent.

The whole thing was kicked off because, 3 days before Christmas during the Christmas holidays, for the first time ever, niece had a little bit of Ice Cream at 10 in the morning, after having had a large breakfast at 7am. This somehow translated into "We're coming to get her, this isn't acceptable, because of you she's asking us for Ice Cream every morning", so somehow the knowledge of having had Ice Cream in the morning has rippled backwards through time.


I'm staying out of it and not even going downstairs, because I've held my tongue before but right now if I go down there I know I will absolutely just go off at the cheating bitch and will absolutely just make everything worse. I just know that when they do leave though my mum is going to break down in tears over this.


But, y'know, Merry Christmas.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Vermilion » Tue Dec 22, 2020 2:00 pm

SantaMorph wrote:Apologies for this post but I just need to vent somewhere.


Don't worry about it, it venting helps you feel a bit better, then that is the most important thing.

I'm trying to cut the amount of news i see/read too, i already know everything's basically a mess at the moment so there seems little point in worsening my own mental health by focusing on it all day (especially after my issues during the November shutdown).

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:08 pm

SantaMorph wrote:Well this is a nice way to try and recover my mental health.
Apologies for this post but I just need to vent somewhere.

Take a break from the news, relax a bit and start to get just a bit chilled out, and then instead get treated to sitting upstairs and listen while my parents, my brother and his cheating bitch wife have a massive argument over my niece.
Cheating bitch is once again trying to play the "Well he's not innocent" card and just trying to throw blame on anyone but herself and how "It's being brought up out of context". You sent strawberry floating naked pictures and texts about how you couldn't wait to strawberry float him to a guy on Facebook! What strawberry floating context do you think makes that better? Apparently bro "Isn't innocent" but won't/can't bring up any examples of what she means. This woman also swore on her daughters life that she hadn't done anything, 30 minutes before confessing to everything.

Oh and now they're accusing dad of "saying he was done with his grand daughter" when he said he was done with arguments and how mum was regularly getting mouthfuls from both bro and his wife. This is despite the fact that cheating bitch caused bro buying new house to completely fall through but still sell their current house, so my parents cancelled the sale of their rental house that they had confirmed no-chain offers on to let bro, his wife and his niece move in for next to no rent.

The whole thing was kicked off because, 3 days before Christmas during the Christmas holidays, for the first time ever, niece had a little bit of Ice Cream at 10 in the morning, after having had a large breakfast at 7am. This somehow translated into "We're coming to get her, this isn't acceptable, because of you she's asking us for Ice Cream every morning", so somehow the knowledge of having had Ice Cream in the morning has rippled backwards through time.


I'm staying out of it and not even going downstairs, because I've held my tongue before but right now if I go down there I know I will absolutely just go off at the cheating bitch and will absolutely just make everything worse. I just know that when they do leave though my mum is going to break down in tears over this.


But, y'know, Merry Christmas.

Sounds like hell on earth. I have major issues with my family, my mother has PTSD as do I over various things and abuse and (principally) neglect in the past from different angles. You don't owe spending Xmas with your family if it's no good for you, just pop in for a cup of tea and then piss off or phone them or something.

Was going to spend Xmas with my girlfriend's family instead because last year was so awful, I literally ended up being picked up by the police on a massive breakdown/bender strut/walk/rant along the road outside in the dark. Upshot is now I have adult social care in place because the police informed the council that I "may be in need of some assistance", strawberry floating LOL because I applied for adult social care in 2015 and they illegally denied it as they didn't complete the assessment process in line with their own protocol (I have autism so if that's the case there has to be an independent advocate/adjudicator present essentially, to help translate my autism into normal words and phrases or whatever). I've also been constantly trying to access relevant and regular support services since I was diagnosed in 2009 with very limited success (ONE entire course of psychotherapy in 2013).

This year we're spending it as a couple because her parents are in tier 4 and I'm just popping to my Mum's for 2 hours. I'm mostly doing that because my aunt needs a break to see her son who's moved into a flat next door, because she cares for my mum and my grandmother, as my mum recently got cancer (and is already lifelong disabled) and my grandmother has strawberry floating dementia, so how can my mum take care of her mum fully, it's bonkers.

From time to time I've taken my meds early to go over there so that my brain doesn't kick off as easily, but my mum can be the most cynical and pessimistic person on earth due to her PTSD and past abuse issues with my dad. Interestingly, it's only since she's started taking top tier painkillers due to her chemo/radiotherapy that she has been easier to deal with because she's not constantly aggroing other people as an expression of the pain she is suffering.

For me today had a real time just writing a card (in which I apologise despite it basically being his fault) to my brother I won't see this year (probably), as it was my younger brother who set off my meltdown last year, pretending to stab me as a joke for whatever weird reason he does that (previously pretending to punch me etc, and has hit me before) so I basically ran away from the house into the countryside. As he's paranoid about Covid he also hasn't been seeing my mum.

Kind of just hoping to sit at home with my girlfriend, play games and drink baileys and my mum can give me some food and I'll sit with them and watch a film or something like that.

My dad randomly sent me some money to "make it easier this Christmas which will be difficult to all" or something like that (I.e. Throw money at the problem), but he strawberry floated off to France years ago which turned out to be a permanent thing so, basically, strawberry float him, whatever. He's a coward and much the reason my family is an utter shambles.

So... You're not the only one with families that just seem to kick off over the stupidest little things due to lots or arguing / violent pasts who all feel they've got to string it together one day a year and excessively compensate. Just say hello and merry Christmas then piss off, I say. You don't need to be lonely but you don't need to worry about everyone else's problems either, they might be family but that doesn't mean you have to be subjected to volcanic levels of effervescent bullshit.

About the news, I listen to the tiniest bulletins via radio or smart speaker about once every 2 or 3 days. Constantly having it on is awful for your health (and forget about made up metal/physical health divide, I don't know why they don't just call it strawberry floating Health). You can and will inevitably catch up on other things in the next 48hrs. For example, I didn't know about the new coronavirus strain until a few days after the government spoke about it but did that make any difference to me? No not really, I was busy working within my "sphere of influence" I.e. Important things like my work or sorting out my Xmas shopping, those may feel like smaller parts of the whole but paying attention to your needs rather than constantly being reminded about the entire world's problems is one way to lessen the exposure to anxious subjects, it really is a balancing act.

This is expressed in other strange ways, for example my father is banging on on Twitter almost every day about Brexit or coronavirus or US politics but doesn't generally contact his children. So again it's taking focus away from what matters and just ragging on about gooseberry fool nobody can do anything about, these sort of pet worries and subjects can really detract from what matters in life and serve as distractions / waste of energy.

I suppose that's a digital hygiene thing as much as a general attitude I've tried to foster over many years. I literally read one website every day, Eurogamer, and 99% of that gooseberry fool doesn't matter and isn't going to be a source of anxiety for me. Whereas Facebook or newspapers or whatever, I can lose hours arguing with some twat or reading about bad/negative news, there just isn't time for it and I don't have the capacity for it either. It's hard not to be led down that path but ultimately those are all products vying for you attention, it's kind of like saying "no" to class A drugs, and bad news can be very addictive too because it feeds the brain and can be a source of procrastination and worry, it's very seldom actually helpful...

In terms of mindfulness, I try to ask myself every sort of 20 minutes, "OK cool what am I doing right now, what is the purpose of this excercise, how is this going to bring me closer to my goals or make me happy and healthy" or even just "is this actually fun?" Or better "am I acting, or am I being acted upon"? But at the same time it's also important to make time to relax, so after 6pm or whatever time you like, all smart devices off, watch ONE film, or listen to ONE album, or complete ONE activity from start to finish, have a bath, whatever. Just focus on one thing (even if it's focusing on no things ie medication or taking a nap) for just 10 minutes, or 30 minutes or 1hr per day. Take away all the usual distractions and just take time for yourself.

And you can even do that around other people, or family too, put in some headphones and go some place quiet or whatever, it's really important.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lagamorph » Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:16 pm

Green Gecko wrote:
SantaMorph wrote:Well this is a nice way to try and recover my mental health.
Apologies for this post but I just need to vent somewhere.

Take a break from the news, relax a bit and start to get just a bit chilled out, and then instead get treated to sitting upstairs and listen while my parents, my brother and his cheating bitch wife have a massive argument over my niece.
Cheating bitch is once again trying to play the "Well he's not innocent" card and just trying to throw blame on anyone but herself and how "It's being brought up out of context". You sent strawberry floating naked pictures and texts about how you couldn't wait to strawberry float him to a guy on Facebook! What strawberry floating context do you think makes that better? Apparently bro "Isn't innocent" but won't/can't bring up any examples of what she means. This woman also swore on her daughters life that she hadn't done anything, 30 minutes before confessing to everything.

Oh and now they're accusing dad of "saying he was done with his grand daughter" when he said he was done with arguments and how mum was regularly getting mouthfuls from both bro and his wife. This is despite the fact that cheating bitch caused bro buying new house to completely fall through but still sell their current house, so my parents cancelled the sale of their rental house that they had confirmed no-chain offers on to let bro, his wife and his niece move in for next to no rent.

The whole thing was kicked off because, 3 days before Christmas during the Christmas holidays, for the first time ever, niece had a little bit of Ice Cream at 10 in the morning, after having had a large breakfast at 7am. This somehow translated into "We're coming to get her, this isn't acceptable, because of you she's asking us for Ice Cream every morning", so somehow the knowledge of having had Ice Cream in the morning has rippled backwards through time.


I'm staying out of it and not even going downstairs, because I've held my tongue before but right now if I go down there I know I will absolutely just go off at the cheating bitch and will absolutely just make everything worse. I just know that when they do leave though my mum is going to break down in tears over this.


But, y'know, Merry Christmas.

Sounds like hell on earth. I have major issues with my family, my mother has PTSD as do I over various things and abuse in the past from different angles. You don't owe spendin Xmas with your family if it's no good for you, just pop in for a cup of tea and then piss off or phone them or something.

Was going to spend Xmas with my girlfriend's family instead because last year was so awful, I literally ended up being picked up by the police on a massive breakdown/bender strut/walk/rant along the road outside in the dark. Upshot is now I have adult social care in place because the police informed the council that I "may be in need of some assistance", strawberry floating LOL because I applied for adult social care in 2015 and they illegally denied it as they didn't complete the assessment process in line with their own protocol (I have autism so if that's the case there has to be an independent advocate/adjudicator present essentially, to help translate my autism into normal words and phrases or whatever).

This year we're spending it as a couple because her parents are in tier 4 and I'm just popping to my Mum's for 2 hours. I'm mostly doing that because my aunt needs a break to see her son who's moved into a flat next door, because she cares for my mum and my grandmother, as my mum recently got cancer (and is already lifelong disabled) and my grandmother has strawberry floating dementia.

From time to time I've taken my meds early to go over there so that my brain doesn't kick off as easily, but my mum can be the most cynical and pessimistic person on earth due to her PTSD and past abuse issues with my dad. Interestingly, it's only since she's started taking top tier painkillers due to her chemo/radiotherapy that she has been easier to deal with because she's not constantly aggroing other people as an expression of the pain she is suffering.

For me today had a real time just writing a card (in which I apologise despite it basically being his fault) to my brother I won't see this year (probably), as it was my younger brother who set off my meltdown last year, pretending to stab me as a joke for whatever weird reason he does that (previously pretending to punch me etc, and has hit me before) so I basically ran away from the house into the countryside. As he's paranoid about Covid he also hasn't been seeing my mum.

Kind of just hoping to sit at home with my girlfriend, play games and drink baileys and my mum can give me some food and I'll sit with them and watch a film or something like that.

My dad randomly sent me some money to "make it easier this Christmas which will be difficult to all" or something like that (I.e. Throw money at the problem), but he strawberry floated off to France years ago which turned out to be a permanent thing so, basically, strawberry float him, whatever. He's a coward and much the reason my family is an utter shambles.

So... You're not the only one with families that just seem to kick off over the stupidest little things due to lots or arguing / violent pasts who all feel they've got to string it together one day a year and excessively compensate. Just say hello and merry Christmas then piss off, I say. You don't need to be lonely but you don't need to worry about everyone else's problems either, they might be family but that doesn't mean you have to be subjected to volcanic levels of effervescent bullshit.

I knew you'd had some issues in the past GG but I had no idea it had been that bad, I really hope things go much better for you this year and you can just have a nice pleasant Christmas with your girlfriend without any dramas.

At the moment I'm staying with my parents, I have been for a little while for the sake of my mental health as loneliness/isolation was a huge contributor to the anxiety & depression I was suffering from (Well, still am but in a much smaller/more manageable way) so I'll be here over Christmas, but do plan to start a gradual transition back to my own house after the New Year, probably starting with 1 or 2 nights a week for a while to see how things go.

After the new year I also plan to try and invite my brother over to my house by himself for a pizza & games night, then see if I can have a serious talk with him away from his wife and our parents, since he does sometimes open up to me about things he doesn't open up to anybody else about. One of my main worries is that there are beginning to be signs of a potentially abusive (mentally speaking) relationship going on. He can sometimes get quite timid around his wife when she's spouting nonsense at the rest of our family and just seems to let her pretty much call every shot and is incredibly reluctant to disagree with her even when she's completely wrong. When she's around he acts the adoring loving husband, but when he comes to see our mum alone he's pretty much listing off problems with her and has been on the verge of tears several times even before her cheating came out.
Unfortunately he's quite a 'lads lad' type who isn't likely to take the husband in a husband/wife relationship to be the abused rather than the abuser very seriously.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:46 pm

I can definitely understand that predicament, yeah men are unlikely to admit perhaps they are being abused or neglected in a relationship, it's not always the guy who's a bit of a banana split or unempathetic/unsympathetic/discompassionate or whatever, and then there's manipulation, masterminding, physical and verbal abuse to run another person down for weird personal gains etc. There's probably plenty of women out there who, to coin a phrase, wear their men like trousers, or something.

I have a friend who is awful to talk to about anxiety because he at the same time suffers from it but when he is well acts all egomaniacal and unsympathetic towards exactly the kind of issues he also suffers from (when he's unwell), which is super annoying. But before second lockdown he moved out of his flat to stay with his sister and her husband because he was worried about isolation.

So as for isolation as a thing, I definitely suffer greatest when alone and I start to lose my grip on reality eventually and self neglect really badly (not eating, sleeping random times, completely useless basically) so without my partner I'd be royally strawberry floated honestly. I have been there before and it is not fun (for example, living alone in a six bedroom house share at uni shortly after my uncle died of lukemia, I'd recently lost two grandparents and I was staying there alone over the summer to complete some late coursework - I got chucked out of uni twice with my struggles but that's another story). I can understand the need to be and stay with others over the Christmas season or during this current situation, couldn't say I would find that easy though!! Pretty much the main reason I left home to go to university wasn't only because I was capable of doing that and so should have pursued a higher education but I couldn't bear living at home any more with my mum and brother, I needed a fresh start. Pretty much free fallen into that scenario though and wasn't any easier living on my own terms either (because I just lacked the most basic coping mechanisms).

I'd have to say finding my partner changed my life completely but getting some (any) kind of support with my mental health was also key as it was after I had some regular support put in place at "work" (university at the time) I tarted to open up and gain confidence, stop missing lectures etc. I've had many many stumbles over the years but on the grand scale I'm better than ever. It's incredibly hard to come out of a messed up family situation and admit you need help, and then actually getting that help is far more difficult than it should be as well (my first DSA grant was rejected on the basis I was only 98.9% likely to be autistic according to a routine test, even though my educational psychology report uncovered multiple specific learning difficulties or "SpLD's", mostly memory issues and slow reading/writing). It all starts with going to the doctor or seeing a psychologist but the lifelong struggle is identifying and addressing those needs, this is both a personal journey and kind of a "second job". It's rough but it is worth it in the end compared to the alternatives i.e. Sadly many people take their lives in my specific situation, under the worst circumstances or really suffering from trauma etc, or end up in some kind of institution.

I've battled endlessly with the very concept of family since I was I was a wee boy so the pressure is definitely there to rebuild something I'll never truly have in the "normal" sense of the word I.e. Mum, dad, kids, aunts uncles all together and helping each other out etc etc. But the truth therein probably is such a family doesn't exist and everyone has wonderful and bizarre social make ups in their lives and their are tens of millions of such "social webs" and they are all very different. I think a vast source of sadness amongst people is looking for that picture perfect ideal which doesn't exist.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawa2 » Tue Dec 22, 2020 6:50 pm

Green Gecko wrote:...I've battled endlessly with the very concept of family since I was I was a wee boy so the pressure is definitely there to rebuild something I'll never truly have in the "normal" sense of the word I.e. Mum, dad, kids, aunts uncles all together and helping each other out etc etc. But the truth therein probably is such a family doesn't exist and everyone has wonderful and bizarre social make ups in their lives and their are tens of millions of such "social webs" and they are all very different...

I feel that you're spot-on with this thought, Gecko; every family/relationship/set of friends is different and they all have issues and challenges at some point. As you go on to say...

Green Gecko wrote:...I think a vast source of sadness amongst people is looking for that picture perfect ideal which doesn't exist.


This is - IMHO - the crux of it. Nobody and no relationship is perfect; everyone has their highs, lows and issues even if they're not always apparent to others. There are good times and bad times and we just do out best to try and minimise, correct or accept the negative periods. It can be tough.

More specifically to the experiences you've shared, Laga and Gecko, I'm afraid that I don't really have any specific advice but I hope you get through these times as smoothly as is possible.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Dec 23, 2020 6:58 pm

On the plus side I did manage to deliver the card to my brother after I spent 30 minutes with my dyspraxia/disorientation and sensory overload going nuts trying to find a street in a town I've lived in for 27 years!!! I went with my carer and starting rambling on about a sign outside his workshop (two workshops are both based out of the same building, this guy makes props and my brother makes incredible handmade guitars), anyway there is this prop maker chap who happens to live nextdoor to said workshop and I was talking about him.

Suddenly he came out his front door and said, "Oh, [guy's name], I know him!" I'm like, "Oh hi Mark [guy's name], I was just talking about you" :slol: What the hell, the coincidences that can happen out and about in the big wide world are crazy. He let me know my brother was in his workshop at that very point, so I rang the bell and said hello, gave him the card etc. He said he'll call me (he won't). That's the first time I've seen my brother in 363 days since my breakdown last Xmas. What a day.

No idea why I'm telling this story but I guess it's significant to me for some reason.

Half the point in my care plan is helping me engage with the community and make social visits, do the shopping, basically normal stuff, finally having some assistance from my council is pretty great, I still can't believe I went without this for 5 years though as they royally strawberry floated my original application. I have to get past that, and I am past that, but it remains said and done and a travesty. It's really painful when you apply to get help you know you are eligible for and it gets thrown in your face. I was literally told to go to a self-help group for autistic people 20 miles away, by my own volition. And how do you expect me to do that when I can barely leave the house most days?

I've also found out HMRC owe me thousands of pounds in unpaid tax credits because they weren't aware I have a disability! Despite the Department for Work and Pensions (remembering this is all the same strawberry floating government here) knows I have a PIP claim for 4 years, since about the same time I started claiming what I'm entitled to (including PIP and tax credits) because I was sick of being strawberry floating broke constantly and defaulting on my essential bills. On their forms they're all well and good asking you to tick boxes telling them things that will REDUCE your tax credits award but they miss out anything that will INCREASE it! You have to actually separately write to them or call them about it! What if you are dumb, deaf or blind, or have a social/communication disorder? Wtf man, how is that in keeping with the equality act? Why can't you do any of that in the online form they insist you use these days because it's fast and easy? Like hell it is, it misses out critical parts of the information required to complete an accurate claim. I was so upset the other day realising this because that meant that for 4 years I was missing out on literally thousands of pounds that could have made it easier to pay my rent to a private landlord.

The mentally ill / disabled / strange people really do get strawberry floated over constantly by this government and I'm only today at a point where I'm claiming everything I'm entitled to, I have a care package from the council and I have private counselling set up, but I've needed all of this sort of thing since I left home age 19. It shouldn't take 10 years to see improvements like this but it can take that long, and at the same time I have to be grateful there is any help at all, or I'd be gassed as a baby or some strawberry floated up gooseberry fool in some other part of the world (and autistic people amongst all sorts of undesirable weirdos were literally sent to the Nazi death camps did you know).

Not completely related but I watched the Imitation Game today where they have cast Alan Turing as both gay/queer and autistic, which was interesting. I guess 70 years ago you'd be put on forced hormonal therapy for being queer or gay but the bullying and the difficulty reading social cues really stood out to me. He took his own life aged 41, something I completely forgot. That was very powerful and this is unfortunately not an isolated incident with anyone who is markedly different in some way or another whether they're gay or not neurotypical it does make your life more difficult. When a bus passing by sounds like an jumbo jet, when the sun peaking through the clouds is like a strawberry floating flash grenade, sure as hell your life is more difficult. But it is possible to get at least some help and manage and try to be normal, but you really need to fight back and not all of us can, some of us do give up. I almost did, many times. It can be very emotional for me watching films like that, A Beautiful Mind is similar but it deals with schizophrenia and psychosis melded with scientific/mathematical genius or autistic savant syndrome, and how isolating such equally gifted and debilitating minds can really be. Obviously these are fictional stories but they have a grain of truth to them.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Fri Dec 25, 2020 9:03 am

awaayl1 in a manger wrote:
Prototype wrote:
Vermi Claus wrote:Have you been able to speak to a professional about how you're feeling? I found that an emergency counselling session helped when i was struggling recently (i sourced an independent non-NHS one locally as it meant i didn't have to wait).


Not yet but I've instigated the counselling package that my employer offers.

Paying for someone for a bit more of an immediate help might be something I have to consider.


I saw (and am still seeing) a private counseller for anxiety after I started having panic attacks about work and essentially stopped working for 6 months over it. I found mine on BACP (Google this - not sure of the exact site) - you can search by area and specialism.

Mine was £60 for an hour in London, which I had the luxury of being able to afford but I didn't think it was that bad once a week. I've dropped down to once every two weeks now as I work on stuff with her that's a bit less urgent.

Anxiety really sucks, especially as you start spiralling about how stupid it is to be anxious etc etc. Hope things start getting better for you soon.


Thank you Aaron.

I'm 2 weeks into a setraline dose and my word my anxiety has been through the roof. My work has a free counselling service through an employee assistance program so I have registered for that. They said I'll wait 2 weeks maximum to start.

I really don't understand anxiety at times. It's pretty much getting wound up about things that wouldn't piss of the average person. And as you say, your mind spirals and you get anxious about being anxious. I found mindfulness techniques work quite well, especially when you "take yourself out of your own thoughts" and assess what it is you're actually being anxious about.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Fri Dec 25, 2020 11:03 pm

I'm beginning to realise that the loneliness I feel at Christmas is probably a part of something bigger. I'm not really sure what to do with that or how/where I want to progress from that.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Prototype » Sat Dec 26, 2020 7:20 am

Outrunner wrote:I'm beginning to realise that the loneliness I feel at Christmas is probably a part of something bigger. I'm not really sure what to do with that or how/where I want to progress from that.


Merry Christmas Outrunner.

Are you on your own or are you feeling loneliness on top of being with someone physically?

It probably doesn't help but God knows how many people have spent this year's Christmas day on their own.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Trelliz » Sat Dec 26, 2020 8:14 am

This isn't meant as some sort of humble brag, but I found this Christmas to be the least stressful and perhaps most enjoyable I can remember. Obviously not seeing family is not great, but I have been thinking about all the things that make me stressed and miserable about Christmas. For me it's one of two scenarios:

A) making sure you've packed everything and then living out of a suitcase for about a week (having inevitably forgotten something), with the feeling of dislocation/transience, everyone being under each other's feet all the time and not really having any time to myself, having to be "on" all the time in terms of talking to people and being sociable, not knowing where anything is, a lack of sleep due to improvised and uncomfortable bed arrangements (or staying at a nearby travelodge then having to do the scheduling gymnastics of who has to stay sober to drive) and the ever-fun days of IBS/digestive problems from a week of stress and over-rich foods, often coinciding with the return drive home and daisy-chaining services on the way making it take even longer.

or:

B) Panicking over whether you've got enough stuff in, having to make these improvised sleeping arrangements for people knowing full well how awful it is and them doing the "no, it was fine" pantomime, leading to the majority of the house being off-limits for hours in the morning while waiting for the inevitable extraordinarily late risers, so have to spend what feels like an eternity just idling reading whatever on my phone to pass the time instead of doing, well anything. Also the increased density of people leading to having to sit around with my innards doing somersaults due to the above stress/food combo waiting for everyone else to go through the never enough bathrooms before I can disappear for as long as necessary (and some peace and quiet) to avoid feeling guilty about that too. This, coupled with the aforementioned constantly being under everyone's feet for days, with a constant barrage of twinkly lights and other flashing things around leaves me feeling boxed in in my own home, guilty/stressed, visually over-stimulated and physically awful, so I either get increasingly aggitated and snappy, as does everyone else or just shut down and mentally withdraw completely as a fight or flight response, which doesn't help when one has to be the providing host. Last year when everyone left the feeling of, for a lack of better term, the house 'expanding' again was a huge relief.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by aayl1 » Sat Dec 26, 2020 8:30 am

Trelliz wrote:This isn't meant as some sort of humble brag, but I found this Christmas to be the least stressful and perhaps most enjoyable I can remember. Obviously not seeing family is not great, but I have been thinking about all the things that make me stressed and miserable about Christmas.


Taking stock and reflecting on your feelings in certain situations is an important activity in mental health. Thinking about how you felt this Christmas and why it is you felt that way is a good (or bad!) thing and will only help you understand yourself more and will help you live in a harmonious way with said self.

Some people will feel positive about this Christmas. Others negative. Everyone should think about why that is.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Dec 27, 2020 1:44 pm

To be totally honest that is probably the most comprehensive and succinct explanation of why Christmas can be totally strawberry floating awful for lots of people, yeah. To take those examples to an extreme, my mum decided to spend Christmas in someone else's house completely last year, for a whole week, which was, well, a terrible idea.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Mon Dec 28, 2020 11:01 am

Prototype wrote:
Outrunner wrote:I'm beginning to realise that the loneliness I feel at Christmas is probably a part of something bigger. I'm not really sure what to do with that or how/where I want to progress from that.


Merry Christmas Outrunner.

Are you on your own or are you feeling loneliness on top of being with someone physically?

It probably doesn't help but God knows how many people have spent this year's Christmas day on their own.


I was with my folks Christmas day (support bubble and all that) and as Christmas's go it was fine. I don't really enjoy Christmas at the best of times and most years I feel extra lonely even when I'm with people. My parents have each other, my brother has his wife and kids and I just feel, tacked on I guess (which is my issue and nothing to do with my family who are great, supportive, and always there for me).

I got home from there's and just walking back into an empty house I got hit with how alone I am. It's a weird one. I mean I have my family and I'm close to them (obviously not seeing the kids during Covid is awful but we do what we have to do). I have friends and I'm well liked at work (well aside from management :lol: ). But aside from my best friend I'm not close enough with anyone to hangout regularly (assuming Covid wasn't a thing. From here on out, if I'm talking about spending time with friends or getting a social life, assume it's in pre-Covid times) and I don't really see my best friend as much as I'd like. I haven't had a group of close friends for years since my last group screwed me over. And I miss that (having a group of friends, not being screwed over).

I try and do things socially but it's hard and sometimes trying to organise things with work friends feels like herding cats. I'm not having a go at them, they have lives and relationships and kids and I don't for one second think they owe me anything. It was just...easier when I had a core group of really close friends rather than casual friends.

I've tried to join clubs and groups but I always end up on the outside looking in no matter how hard I try. I was hoping going back to university would help. And it looked promising on the Foundation Year. Then Covid hit, the friends I made all went on to their own degree paths. And because they all split off onto the same two degrees they are in touch regularly. I'm the only one who went on to East Asian Studies so didn't have an inbuilt friendship group. I'm in a whatsapp group with the other East Asian Studies students but since they are all in their late teens, early twenties I feel a bit out of it. Again, nothing to do with them personally. They're friendly and I don't feel pushed out by them. But god I feel old compared to them. I don't know, probably hasn't helped that I've only met them in person once.

I feel lonely on the relationship front too. I haven't dated since my marriage collapsed 6 years ago. At first that was fine. I needed time to find myself (cliche!) and figure things out, but sometimes I feel pretty isolated being on my own. I've never been great at dating anyway (only one serious relationship and a weird thing where the woman I thought I was hanging out with as friends thought we were in a relationship) but it seems harder now. Since I realised I'm and came out as asexual a few years ago it means finding someone is that much harder (there's not much in the way of asexual dating sites). I mean, I could date someone who's not asexual but I really don't want to have to navigate the whole "I love you but I'm not sexually attracted to you (or anyone) and don't want sex. No that's not a contradiction" thing again.

I tend to view my mental health problems as a barrier too. It's hard finding people who "get" anxiety and depression and I don't want to start making friends only to push them away because my depression flares up.

And don't get me wrong sometimes being alone has been great. I've had some amazing holidays in Japan, Hong Kong and Taiwan where I've been able to do exactly what I want, change plans on the fly and yes, even grow in confidence and as a person as I found myself (cliche 2). But sometimes I look at my photos and think it would be nice if I had someone to share those memories with. Some "you remember that time we got lost and then it started pouring down with rain. And that lovely old Japanese couple invited us into their coffee shop despite that fact it was closed. They were great! And they drove us back to the train station and tried to talk about football with us? We didn't have the heart to tell them we don'y watch the sport?" type memories. The memories I have a great, and I have interesting stories about my trips. But they're all done in isolation and, I don't know, sometimes that makes me feel a bit sad.

Well. That was a longer post than I was expecting. I don't know, maybe it's the Christmas period making me hyper-sensitive to things.


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