GRcade

False wrote:yeah i think emptiness sums it up

ive considered the fact that maybe ive moved toward asexuality but that cant be right, because i do have the desire sometimes, i dunno

Are you maybe aromantic?

Unsure where else to put this... last week my wife's waters broke at 19 weeks. Essentially we were told that the baby who by this point was almost fully formed was unlikely to survive without the amniotic fluid (the "water") that surrounds it. We could either terminate the pregnancy by inducing labour or try to continue which came with the added risks of serious infection to my wife and, if the baby were to survive, there would almost certainly be lasting consequences i.e. disabilities or physical defects.

We elected to induce labour. Our daughter was born, stillborn, weighing 240 grams.

The whole pregnancy has been so upsetting. My three year-old keeps asking about the baby she was so excited about being a sister to.

I've tried to write this post several times over the last few days but each time I haven't had the will to finish it. I've been signed off work for the foreseeable further, thankfully my employer is very understanding. We haven't even really had a chance to grieve or process the situation because my wife has been in and out of hospital; she's been left with some residual pain from an infection which has left her bedridden and me trying to run the house.

It's my best friend's wedding today - I am going to attend the ceremony because I know I'd regret missing it - but all I want to do is crawl into bed and stay there.

Jesus Drummy, sorry to hear that

That is absolutely terrible Drumstick. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Drummy that's strawberry floating horrible. I'm so sorry. Thoughts with you and your family.

I'm really sorry to read that Ben.

Oh, Drumstick - this is desperately sad and I'm so sorry to hear that your family experienced this.

Lost for words,Drummy. I'm so sorry.

Drummy mate, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine the pain and grief you and your wife are going through right now. Thoughts to your and your family.

That is awful to hear Drummy. All the best for you and the family in this gooseberry fool time

Hard to imagine anything more traumatic for you and your partner, Drummy. Glad you have some time and space to grieve. You're a good mate for going to your friends' wedding. I hope it is a good day for everyone.

Drummy that's awful. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Awful, awful news Drum. I'm so sorry. As Clarky says, it's good you have the time you need to gather yourselves and grieve. Shout me if I can help in any way.

So sorry to hear that Drummy, not an experience that anyone should have to suffer. I know there are plenty of groups and sources of advice for helping with these things and my advice would be to lean into that as much as you feel comfortable with.

That is just awful Drumstick, our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

very sorry bro

It seems so small and stupid but all this stuff today around petrol shortages is really bringing my anxiety back up especially as I have a round trip to Manchester Airport (so at least a good 200 miles) next week to pick up my girlfriend and now I'm paranoid/worried about not being able to get the fuel to do it.

Lagamorph wrote:It seems so small and stupid but all this stuff today around petrol shortages is really bringing my anxiety back up especially as I have a round trip to Manchester Airport (so at least a good 200 miles) next week to pick up my girlfriend and now I'm paranoid/worried about not being able to get the fuel to do it.

Have you had to pick her up yet? If so what happened?

I watched this video earlier and it really helped me come to terms with my mentally ill ex



TLDW: Humans prefer familiar/predictable outcomes to good outcomes, ergo my ex was so used to being treated like gooseberry fool by other people she was constantly suspicious of me because I would treat her nicely and was just happy to be around her without wanting anything from her.

Prime example of this: things reached breaking point for me and I self harmed (only time I've ever cut myself), afterwards she was adamant that I did it for attention rather than because I was distraught. Also anytime she got depressed I'd point out all the things I do for her to show that I care and she would often respond like I only did that stuff to make her feel like she owed me something

I realise in retrospect the only way she probably would have felt comfortable around me was if I acted like her asshole parents/ex did, because that is what she expected of people close to her.

Isn't she just your ex as opposed to your mentally ill ex though?

Most people suffer from mental illness at some point, they are still whoever they are. Just saying brother.

Green Gecko wrote:Isn't she just your ex as opposed to your mentally ill ex though?

Most people suffer from mental illness at some point, they are still whoever they are. Just saying brother.

I get what you mean but I suppose he's just using it as a shorthand eh.

Still got my weekly therapy sessions but might be winding down soon as we've worked through almost everything over the last couple of years. Have completely changed my life.