Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Thanks for the replies everyone. Quick update because today has been exhausting. I spoke at length with the local mental health support people on their free number. They suggested a couple of free counselling services and a safehaven (which I didn't realise we had) in the area where I can go for face to face support if I'm in crisis again. I'll get in touch with the therapist and hope they offer talking therapies rather than cognitive therapy that they usually push and I don't particularly find useful.

I know there are no quick fixes and it'll take some time, which is where my frustration keeps boiling over because I kind of need a quick fix of some sort to hit my university deadlines. I can't take another year off (I just wouldn't end up going back and just flush the last few years down the toilet) and I've pushed my deadlines back as far as I can but it just feels like kicking the can down the road. We'll see what the counselling services say.

Victor Mildew wrote:Just got back from the hospital. Apparently she has cancer thats spread to her liver, but they don't know where from yet until more scans come in. They're doing a biopsy either today or tomorrow. The specialist said they won't know how long she has for a few weeks until the results come back, but the term used was "this will shorten your life, we just don't know how much by yet".

No idea what the strawberry float I'm going to do.

Praying and sending well wishes to you both. Stay strong brother <3

Outrunner wrote:So....I self-harmed for the first time in years. Just feel like I'm a gooseberry fool person and I'm starting to feel like I hate myself. I've zero interest in anything and I've not got anyone to talk to. I'm putting on a front but my friends seem to be pulling away from me despite me faking being ok (not the first time I've found myself in this situation, not sure why I expected this time would be any different). My mum has enough on her plate with my aunt being in a home and talking about suicide so can't really talk to family. I'm not going to kill myself or anything just not enjoying life at the moment and nothing I'm trying (and I am trying) is making a difference. I just have so many unconnected issues to work through and I don't know where to start.

Hey listen man I know you dont know me but feel free to pm me and exchange my phone number if you need. Im happy to conversate with you and if you anywhere near London/Berkshire area we can hang out no problem. Life is weird when you unsure of something or feeling extremely down just come on here or pm anyone in here if you need.

aayl1 wrote:

Victor Mildew wrote:My nan has been ringing people up telling them my Mrs has had a double mastectomy

Is this a "bless her" moment? Or has she annoyingly tipped people off you didn't want knowing yet?

I believe Ad's nan has dementia. So hopefully people take her with a pinch of salt in this instance!

Zilnad wrote:

aayl1 wrote:

Victor Mildew wrote:My nan has been ringing people up telling them my Mrs has had a double mastectomy

Is this a "bless her" moment? Or has she annoyingly tipped people off you didn't want knowing yet?

I believe Ad's nan has dementia. So hopefully people take her with a pinch of salt in this instance!

Yes she has dementia, so they person in contact wanted to know if there was anything to it or she's just making it up. I can't remember if I've posted it in here, but she called me at work to see if I was OK, and then said her other son in law (???) Is an Indian doctor, who specialises in invisibility. He is very good because he came to see her the other day and there was a big fire outside her window, so he got in a big white car and drove off to put the fire out. She also said my mum is married to a 'red Indian with yellow hair', and the woman at her care home has said she's now racing some imaginary guy in the corridor with her walking frame when they go down for meal times.

Dblock wrote:
Praying and sending well wishes to you both. Stay strong brother <3

Thanks

Outrunner wrote:Thanks for the replies everyone. Quick update because today has been exhausting. I spoke at length with the local mental health support people on their free number. They suggested a couple of free counselling services and a safehaven (which I didn't realise we had) in the area where I can go for face to face support if I'm in crisis again. I'll get in touch with the therapist and hope they offer talking therapies rather than cognitive therapy that they usually push and I don't particularly find useful.

I know there are no quick fixes and it'll take some time, which is where my frustration keeps boiling over because I kind of need a quick fix of some sort to hit my university deadlines. I can't take another year off (I just wouldn't end up going back and just flush the last few years down the toilet) and I've pushed my deadlines back as far as I can but it just feels like kicking the can down the road. We'll see what the counselling services say.

I hope this works out OK for you

My wife had to go back in for an emergency admission on Tuesday as her legs and feet are so swollen that she can barely walk. They were supposed to just do blood tests, which then took all day, and then the dept. Was closing at 8, there's no beds anywhere, so they wheeled her in to another department and sat her in a strawberry floating chair by the reception. She was in this chair for 22 hours straight. The only reason she now has a bed is the woman looking after her case came to find her and went for the people on reception saying "what the strawberry float is she doing sat in a chair? Gey her a bed NOW."

I'm convinced they only discharged her to free the bed up. She had no chat on the way out, they just handed me a random bag of pills and said the lift is that way.

They've had the upper body scan back and found nothing there either, so have requested a fast track on the biopsy.

I went in to the office yesterday for company and nearly went for someone too as they were just being a twat. Like show some strawberry floating consideration.

Sorry for using this as a diary, don't worry about replying, it just helps to type stuff out.

The state of the NHS leaving your wife on the chair

I hope your looking after yourself and please continue to do whatever helps you get through this.

Victor Mildew wrote:...there's no beds anywhere, so they wheeled her in to another department and sat her in a strawberry floating chair by the reception. She was in this chair for 22 hours straight...

This is just shocking. There are a lot of people doing fantastic work in the NHS but when you hear about instances like this it does make you wonder.

I can relate to the stress of the situation causing strong reactions when dealing with other unrelated stuff, too. It's tough not to blow up when you're coping with something major. Try and keep yourself well, Ad.

Just catching up on this. Really sorry to hear about your wife, Ad. As others have said if you need anything, just give us a shout.

It's a disgrace that your wife was sat in a chair for that long, Things need to get sorted as that's truly strawberry floating gooseberry fool.

Victor Mildew wrote:so they wheeled her in to another department and sat her in a strawberry floating chair by the reception. She was in this chair for 22 hours straight.

That's completely unacceptable, no one should be treated that way, especially when they're unwell.

Victor Mildew wrote:Sorry for using this as a diary, don't worry about replying, it just helps to type stuff out.

It's fine, don't worry about it, just do whatever helps.

Type out whatever you want if it helps. Just remember we are all here for you.

whatever you want if it helps. Just remember we are all here for you.












(all the best Ad, that experience of your wife in the waiting room is traumatic to just read, can't imagine what it's been like)

Thanks all

Yeah the NHS at the moment are awful.

My mum has an injection for her bones that can only be administered by a special pen.
it has to be refrigerated so they take it away as no fridge on the ward.

When she's been in the hospital they've now lost it TWICE, even though she labels it and puts on it do not bin. It has to be administered daily. And then when she calls to get it replaced, it takes 6 WEEKS. So no injection that's keeping her bones healthy for 6 weeks, due to the staff literally losing it or binning it. It's negligence at this stage.
I know they're busy and understaffed and underpaid and underappreciated, but at the same time, incompetence also seems to have seeped in, and that's not good.

Curls wrote:Yeah the NHS at the moment are awful.

My mum has an injection for her bones that can only be administered by a special pen.
it has to be refrigerated so they take it away as no fridge on the ward.

When she's been in the hospital they've now lost it TWICE, even though she labels it and puts on it do not bin. It has to be administered daily. And then when she calls to get it replaced, it takes 6 WEEKS. So no injection that's keeping her bones healthy for 6 weeks, due to the staff literally losing it or binning it. It's negligence at this stage.
I know they're busy and understaffed and underpaid and underappreciated, but at the same time, incompetence also seems to have seeped in, and that's not good.

Overworked and understaffed leads to incompetence, that's the cause which is sad but the only people to blame are the government.

Thanks to Brexit we also lost a lot of nursing staff who went back to Europe as well which made it even worse.

Not sure what is more shocking, AD7's news, or Dblock suddenly appearing and offering support.

Victor - The fact so many different forumites have posted their support/love should tell you everything you need to know about this place and our opinion/thoughts of you.

Feel free to vent/scream into the void of Grcade. I know I would struggle to know who to talk to if going through what you are, being a patriach can be a lonely place. But want to think this is a great place to start.

All I ask is you keep us updated.

Best of luck/wishes to you and your family.

Victor Mildew wrote:My wife had to go back in for an emergency admission on Tuesday as her legs and feet are so swollen that she can barely walk. They were supposed to just do blood tests, which then took all day, and then the dept. Was closing at 8, there's no beds anywhere, so they wheeled her in to another department and sat her in a strawberry floating chair by the reception. She was in this chair for 22 hours straight. The only reason she now has a bed is the woman looking after her case came to find her and went for the people on reception saying "what the strawberry float is she doing sat in a chair? Gey her a bed NOW."

I'm convinced they only discharged her to free the bed up. She had no chat on the way out, they just handed me a random bag of pills and said the lift is that way.

They've had the upper body scan back and found nothing there either, so have requested a fast track on the biopsy.

I went in to the office yesterday for company and nearly went for someone too as they were just being a twat. Like show some strawberry floating consideration.

Sorry for using this as a diary, don't worry about replying, it just helps to type stuff out.

It's awful when someone you love ends up in hospital sat in a chair when there not well, they left my Dad sat in a chair a few years back for a similar amount of time and it turned out he had blood clots. So if was far from ideal.

Any time you need to say anything say it here, we are all here for you

She's just sent me a message to say they're moving her from the nice bit she's in to a strawberry floating corridor now. strawberry floating hell

So sorry to hear about her treatment Ad. The health service is in an absolute state right now and it's genuinely distressing to think just how many people are getting strawberry floated about like this.

Really hope that you manage to get some decent progress and answers soon