Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
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Tafdolphin
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:11 am

Sandy wrote:Why would you work for free?

Try and stay away from checking your phone when you're sleeping. Put the radio on or something instead. Something that doesn't use your eyes.


Yeah, it was a schoolboy error on my part. Spent the rest of the morning listening to meditation tapes.

As for work, it's because I find it very hard to say no to people. The email made me so strawberry floating angry because I havegave (lol) an inch and rather than saying thank you they now want a mile.

strawberry float that. I'm going to tell them to get strawberry floated (in business speak obviously).

Last edited by Tafdolphin on Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Sandy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:13 am

Yeah, they're strawberry floaters if they expect you to work for free. It's not acceptable.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:16 pm

Please fire them, explain you are self employed and not available on beckon call, there are no terms allowing that such as a retainer agreement or callout fee, and if they do need you available as and when you can look at renegotiating the terms of your agreement. Just say something like that and little else and move on with your life. There is literally no point at all working with someone that does not value your time or expertise, it will only get worse.

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
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That
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by That » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:27 pm

Green Gecko wrote:beckon call

gentle correction: "beck and call" :) :wub:

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:29 pm

Thank you, I've been saying that for years :dread:

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
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jawafour
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawafour » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:35 pm

Green Gecko wrote:...There is literally no point at all working with someone that does not value your time or expertise, it will only get worse.

Bang-on, Gecko. Experienced that when I regularly (as in every day for years) worked unpaid overtime for a bank. They, of course, viewed this as "expected" and did not give a gooseberry-fool.

Hope the day is getting a little better for you, Taf.

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Tafdolphin
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:49 pm

Luckily I'm out of that joint soon anyway, and I told them today that because of my imminent departure I have no extra time. They didn't question it, but didn't look happy either.

C'est la strawberry floating vie.

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Night Call: Out now!
Rip Them Off: Out now!
Chinatown Detective Agency: 2021!
EXOGATE Initiative: Early Access Summer 2021
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Sun May 05, 2019 7:48 pm

I think I might be a boring friend. I'm currently half way around and world so I hit up a friend to hang out with.
But his reaction to me was like "I'm surprised you decided to come here?" "What did you family say to you travelling all the way here?"
My answer was that this is only a small part of my holiday as I've been travelling to other cities too.

In my head I feel a bit sad tbh that a friend wasn't more excited to see me and instead asked me those kind of questions. Maybe I'm boring and I don't blame my friend.

Think I'm gonna ask him if that is the case so next time I won't bother calling by.

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Dual
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dual » Sun May 05, 2019 9:14 pm

Doesn't sound like much of a friend.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Sun May 05, 2019 9:18 pm

Dual wrote:Doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Seems like it! As he also mentioned to me how some of his other mates have or are visiting too and how they have plans to hang out and go places.
Just when you realise your friend isn't as good as a mate as you thought...o well

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Sun May 05, 2019 10:46 pm

No he doesn't sound like much of a friend. Sounds a bit of a twat to be honest. If you're travelling then make some new friends.

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Dowbocop
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dowbocop » Mon May 06, 2019 12:30 am

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:I think I might be a boring friend. I'm currently half way around and world so I hit up a friend to hang out with.
But his reaction to me was like "I'm surprised you decided to come here?" "What did you family say to you travelling all the way here?"
My answer was that this is only a small part of my holiday as I've been travelling to other cities too.

In my head I feel a bit sad tbh that a friend wasn't more excited to see me and instead asked me those kind of questions. Maybe I'm boring and I don't blame my friend.

Think I'm gonna ask him if that is the case so next time I won't bother calling by.

Devil's advocate: if you have been pretty straight-laced before (not the best phrase as travelling isn't exactly unusual, but I hope you know what I mean) and you suddenly decided to go travelling they aren't unusual questions to ask. I'd you find out that your friend maybe doesn't align with your worldview anymore then you'll just grow apart, you don't need to confront him.

If you're doing what you want to do with your life and getting the experiences you want to get then strawberry float anyone who thinks you're boring.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Tue May 07, 2019 7:17 pm

I work in an all female workplace and it's so incredibly hard to make friends.

I'm going through a break up at the moment and it's hitting me a lot harder because I literally have no one outside of my family who I can see.

I really don't know what to do.

EDIT: Maybe I should try this https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ ... ly_police/

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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Sun May 12, 2019 8:48 am

I had my interview, maths and English tests for university yesterday. Initially I thought it went well but because because of my anxiety, low self-esteem and my ability to turn everything into a catastrophe I'm picking apart the whole thing. My current thought patterns:

"What were you thinking? Why would they want you after that performance"
"If you're this stressed with one day how do you think you'll cope with a full degree"
"Even if you do get in think of the cost, you'll have no more holidays, no money in your pension pot for 4 years"
"You do realise this will only cause you more problems down the line? No money, no friends, no job"
"You're not smart enough to do this, why not take the easy route and stay where you are?"

It's all self indulgent self-loathing and I hate that my mind does this

Please do not post this in the "No Context" thread
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Floex
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Floex » Sun May 12, 2019 5:25 pm

Fade wrote:I work in an all female workplace and it's so incredibly hard to make friends.


How come? Because they’re female? Just talk to them like you would anyone else. You’re in a unique position in that you standout alittle bit more. Take it a day at a time, challenge yourself to having one conversation a day with someone new there. Don’t put pressure on yourself, you might discover people have the some of the same interests :)

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Mon May 13, 2019 7:33 am

Floex wrote:
Fade wrote:I work in an all female workplace and it's so incredibly hard to make friends.


How come? Because they’re female? Just talk to them like you would anyone else. You’re in a unique position in that you standout alittle bit more. Take it a day at a time, challenge yourself to having one conversation a day with someone new there. Don’t put pressure on yourself, you might discover people have the some of the same interests :)

Dude I talk to them quite a bit. They're just all 20 year olds who like to go out and get drunk, gossip and get their nails done.

Also I've been working there 2 years.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon May 13, 2019 11:36 am

It seems like you're coming up with reasons for why they can't be your friend or possibly like you. Is there anywhere else you can try to make friends? Can you make that somewhere else or look for it?

Try not to judge people you don't know.

Outrunner wrote:I had my interview, maths and English tests for university yesterday. Initially I thought it went well but because because of my anxiety, low self-esteem and my ability to turn everything into a catastrophe I'm picking apart the whole thing. My current thought patterns:

"What were you thinking? Why would they want you after that performance"
"If you're this stressed with one day how do you think you'll cope with a full degree"
"Even if you do get in think of the cost, you'll have no more holidays, no money in your pension pot for 4 years"
"You do realise this will only cause you more problems down the line? No money, no friends, no job"
"You're not smart enough to do this, why not take the easy route and stay where you are?"

It's all self indulgent self-loathing and I hate that my mind does this

Don't worry, the standard for that sort of thing are pretty low. It really is just to cut out the very bottom who won't be able to do work because they lack the basic skills to write or do arithmetic, which is a waste of time and they need to go to evening classes or something. I really doubt you are that behind the curve based only on your ability to introspect. That makes you naturally improve yourself anyway and study harder than average.

People tend to think university is this ridiculously intense thing. Maybe it is in the final year when gooseberry fool matters the most, but that sounds more like a doctorate.

If you show up and write your papers/coursework, you can take a day or two off here or there without much hassle. There will be plenty of days where there aren't any lectures or seminars at all.

You already have employment experience, whereas most graduates do not. That puts you ahead of the vast majority of graduates, so you will benefit from both aspects of increased employability. What a degree does is help you to target more specialised roles that may be of interest to you, but it doesn't give you general work experience. You won't necessarily have that problem.

You would struggle NOT to at least have the opportunity to relatively easily make friends at university.

You do get times at university when the campus is half shut, mostly during Christmas and summer. There are reading weeks where you are expected to read but really this is just another word for half term (in between semesters).

As for pension, I have about £50 in mine. Having a pension at all before starting university puts you in a stronger position financially than the vast majority of students.

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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Sandy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Mon May 13, 2019 1:15 pm

Fade wrote:Dude I talk to them quite a bit. They're just all 20 year olds who like to go out and get drunk, gossip and get their nails done.

Also I've been working there 2 years.


Have you given any of them a chance, Benjamin?

Or jumped to a conclusion about that they're like based on a, probably very shallow, exterior that they allow out into the open?

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Mon May 13, 2019 1:22 pm

My girlfriend likes to do her nails sometimes, and drink with her friends. There's always a bit of gossip around as she works at a college but mostly about kids doing dumb stuff and interdepartmental politics. It offloads stress and nails are a confidence and time for me thing mostly.

But that is only in the past couple of months since she got a new job and can go out more with more income.

I would never make an impression based on that when we met years ago. You never know people from how they are just about the office, everyone's pretending to be normal and a good employee or whatever. They have to fit in.

As you probably know, if you don't fit in you wind up getting fired or miserable or both. An office is the last place in the world I'd expect to get to know anyone.

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Tue May 14, 2019 9:42 pm

Green Gecko wrote:It seems like you're coming up with reasons for why they can't be your friend or possibly like you. Is there anywhere else you can try to make friends? Can you make that somewhere else or look for it?

Try not to judge people you don't know.

Outrunner wrote:I had my interview, maths and English tests for university yesterday. Initially I thought it went well but because because of my anxiety, low self-esteem and my ability to turn everything into a catastrophe I'm picking apart the whole thing. My current thought patterns:

"What were you thinking? Why would they want you after that performance"
"If you're this stressed with one day how do you think you'll cope with a full degree"
"Even if you do get in think of the cost, you'll have no more holidays, no money in your pension pot for 4 years"
"You do realise this will only cause you more problems down the line? No money, no friends, no job"
"You're not smart enough to do this, why not take the easy route and stay where you are?"

It's all self indulgent self-loathing and I hate that my mind does this

Don't worry, the standard for that sort of thing are pretty low. It really is just to cut out the very bottom who won't be able to do work because they lack the basic skills to write or do arithmetic, which is a waste of time and they need to go to evening classes or something. I really doubt you are that behind the curve based only on your ability to introspect. That makes you naturally improve yourself anyway and study harder than average.

People tend to think university is this ridiculously intense thing. Maybe it is in the final year when gooseberry fool matters the most, but that sounds more like a doctorate.

If you show up and write your papers/coursework, you can take a day or two off here or there without much hassle. There will be plenty of days where there aren't any lectures or seminars at all.

You already have employment experience, whereas most graduates do not. That puts you ahead of the vast majority of graduates, so you will benefit from both aspects of increased employability. What a degree does is help you to target more specialised roles that may be of interest to you, but it doesn't give you general work experience. You won't necessarily have that problem.

You would struggle NOT to at least have the opportunity to relatively easily make friends at university.

You do get times at university when the campus is half shut, mostly during Christmas and summer. There are reading weeks where you are expected to read but really this is just another word for half term (in between semesters).

As for pension, I have about £50 in mine. Having a pension at all before starting university puts you in a stronger position financially than the vast majority of students.


Thank for helping put all this into perspective, I think I know all this stuff but hearing it from a third party actually drives it home for me.

I meant to drop by yesterday but I was busy celebrating as I have been offered a place! So I was worrying for nothing. But thanks for listening/reading, having this thread to come to can be a lifesaver :)

Please do not post this in the "No Context" thread

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