Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Fri May 31, 2019 10:46 am

If you download the Couchsurfing app Fade you can use the hangout feature to find folk. Had a quick look and there’s roughly 500 people in your area so should be some decent banana splits about.

How’s everyone getting on?

Been mad struggling lately, to the point where a few days ago I was having brief sucidial ideation of hanging myself. Luckily, and bizarrely, the girl I’ve been dating chatting gooseberry fool about being 'casual' last night (we’ve been dating for a couple of months now and it’s been far from casual) seemed to click my brain back into gear and feeling normal again today. Been blasting karma police as the realisation I was overly infatuated was breaking me a bit.

Image
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Fri May 31, 2019 11:04 am

I have been up and down - mostly ok but a lot of stress. Perhaps unwisely did a lot of MDMA at the weekend and couldnt come up at all so did more than I should which has left me a bit more down afterwards. Ill survive.

Can empathise with the suicdial ideation stuff though, just seems to pop up out of nowhere. I have some other thoughts which I dont feel like sharing on here but they would definitely completely ruin my life. Need to find someone to talk about it with really. Thoughts always seem to shrink outside of your head.

Image
User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Jun 02, 2019 12:45 am

I've had some really bad couple of days and had to take about 4-5 days off doing all most no work, but the summer helps. I've downloaded a couple games to keep me busy and have been taking day trips out which is good. New PC is fun to muck around on.

Probably worst anxiety was a giant banana split harassing me online again at a workplace I returned to thinking I got over that gooseberry fool (and he was gone), but just reported it and got on with my day after that subsided. Heading there next week to make use of the space so hopefully I'l alright.

I've been listening to lots of old music recordings and wondering what the strawberry float I'm doing leaving music out of the picture, my brother's doing quite well promoting his gooseberry fool and I was listening to this girl singing for us years back, now she's on the same talent label as Nick Cave and Roots Manuva, so thinking about that and whether I want to make game of thrones T-shirt for another 2 years or just jack it all in and pursue music. But I know deep down that's just another type of business and a bloody tough one at that - nobody will pay, it takes forever to build a gig schedule (and keep a band from killing each other). Got in touch with some old musician peeps but no reply yet.

With the whole death thing I think about weird gooseberry fool like, what if I died would anyone find all these 1000s of recordings on my laptop some of which were pretty decent and give a gooseberry fool posthumously... I need to go to an open mic ffs, I wrote and performed my stuff when I was 12 and then depression started to strawberry float me massively and school/college/uni/carreer blahblah. It's one of only things that gets my heart feeling elated and wanting to do stuff, I just have nobody to share that with these days.

Been trying to fill out some applications for arts residencies/stipends and I've got a social worker to help me look at ACE funding form (basically bonafide paid-by-the-government-to-do-art funding) so I've got other avenues for work/expression than just putting people's stuff on T-shirts which should be my "day job" but not my entire life.

I do have my partner and it seems she has clawed my back again, so that's good (and it isn't always, stress doesn't help your love life).

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
Image
User avatar
Clarkman
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Clarkman » Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:10 pm

Two weeks post op on my broken elbow. Went to hospital today for a check up on the wound and for xrays. While they said it was healing okay, I still have a 30% chance of needing a full elbow replacement.

They also wouldn't prescribe more codeine, so I'm in a lot of pain doing more intense physio.

It's now been three full weeks since I've worked in my next novel and I can't focus through this pain and I'm strawberry floating depressed as hell. My support network has been very poor tbh in terms of caring - only one friend has come to see me in three weeks.

Just very low.

User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:18 pm

Clarkman wrote:Two weeks post op on my broken elbow. Went to hospital today for a check up on the wound and for xrays. While they said it was healing okay, I still have a 30% chance of needing a full elbow replacement.

They also wouldn't prescribe more codeine, so I'm in a lot of pain doing more intense physio.

It's now been three full weeks since I've worked in my next novel and I can't focus through this pain and I'm strawberry floating depressed as hell. My support network has been very poor tbh in terms of caring - only one friend has come to see me in three weeks.

Just very low.

Sorry to hear about this, recovering from a break in a major area of mobility strawberry floating sucks and I was on a sofa/bed with orphadontic wedge I got from Gumtree for months.

When I fractured my spine I went down to Co-codamol which is basically paracetamol + codeine, you can get it from a pharmacist for example it's regularly dispensed for period pains and so quite normal. Have you tried that? Also you should taper off codeine (such as codeine phosphate) because of the side effects and withdrawal which will probably make you feel depressed. Speak to your GP about tapering off strong pain medication like codeine.

You can also take anti-inflammatory naproxen together with ibuprofen which isn't the same sort of pain medication (they don't react badly together), they might allow that. Sometimes it's not the pain in the break that is as bad as the irritation and heat build up caused by tender inflammation in the muscles around the break. Then you can move down to ibuprofen and paracetamol as you heal. afaik Naproxen has almost no side effects, it's the codeine that can make you constipate and for that you take senna (natural irritant / laxative)

I would also try some mindfulness exercises. Sometimes there are some pretty miraculous effects from "talking" to your pain and focusing on it until it almost disappears, this happens through a process of normalisation and by doing that somewhat letting it go; your nervous system can if your brain is focusing on it signal healing or focus on parts of your body that feel well to lessen the focus on the pain. There are pain-management specific mindfullness exercises you can probably find on YouTube or give Headspace a go, I can send you a pain-specific exercise but it's only 3 minutes, you'd probably want to practice the normal 10 minute meditation sessions first until you learn the whole practice of listening to your body and trying to let the mind rest, as really for specific issues like pain it's just the same thing but with different words.

Of course it's important to have distractions. When I was healing (and I didn't even get given any physio so I was pretty much left on my own with a broken back!!) I read a programming book until I got bored of it and I built a remote controlled forklift because... why not. Try not to worry about things you can't do now because you absolutely WILL be able to do them when you are better and it's OK to do that because your body MUST heal (and it WILL! It's an amazing thing). But you can distract yourself from missing out on stuff you've not been doing by other tasks like finishing a book on audiobook maybe, I also did some other reading on technical subjects because I felt at least I was learning something. Try to make use of the downtime so when you come out of it won't feel so bad having done "none of XYZ". Everyone has stuff they never get around to doing and kick themselves for not doing because "there's no time", but there is time when you can't do all that other stuff you're used to :)

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
Image
User avatar
Clarkman
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Clarkman » Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:34 pm

Green Gecko wrote:
Clarkman wrote:Two weeks post op on my broken elbow. Went to hospital today for a check up on the wound and for xrays. While they said it was healing okay, I still have a 30% chance of needing a full elbow replacement.

They also wouldn't prescribe more codeine, so I'm in a lot of pain doing more intense physio.

It's now been three full weeks since I've worked in my next novel and I can't focus through this pain and I'm strawberry floating depressed as hell. My support network has been very poor tbh in terms of caring - only one friend has come to see me in three weeks.

Just very low.

Sorry to hear about this, recovering from a break in a major area of mobility strawberry floating sucks and I was on a sofa/bed with orphadontic wedge I got from Gumtree for months.

When I fractured my spine I went down to Co-codamol which is basically paracetamol + codeine, you can get it from a pharmacist for example it's regularly dispensed for period pains and so quite normal. Have you tried that? Also you should taper off codeine (such as codeine phosphate) because of the side effects and withdrawal which will probably make you feel depressed. Speak to your GP about tapering off strong pain medication like codeine.

You can also take anti-inflammatory naproxen together with ibuprofen which isn't the same sort of pain medication (they don't react badly together), they might allow that. Sometimes it's not the pain in the break that is as bad as the irritation and heat build up caused by tender inflammation in the muscles around the break. Then you can move down to ibuprofen and paracetamol as you heal. afaik Naproxen has almost no side effects, it's the codeine that can make you constipate and for that you take senna (natural irritant / laxative)

I would also try some mindfulness exercises. Sometimes there are some pretty miraculous effects from "talking" to your pain and focusing on it until it almost disappears, this happens through a process of normalisation and by doing that somewhat letting it go; your nervous system can if your brain is focusing on it signal healing or focus on parts of your body that feel well to lessen the focus on the pain. There are pain-management specific mindfullness exercises you can probably find on YouTube or give Headspace a go, I can send you a pain-specific exercise but it's only 3 minutes, you'd probably want to practice the normal 10 minute meditation sessions first until you learn the whole practice of listening to your body and trying to let the mind rest, as really for specific issues like pain it's just the same thing but with different words.

Of course it's important to have distractions. When I was healing (and I didn't even get given any physio so I was pretty much left on my own with a broken back!!) I read a programming book until I got bored of it and I built a remote controlled forklift because... why not. Try not to worry about things you can't do now because you absolutely WILL be able to do them when you are better and it's OK to do that because your body MUST heal (and it WILL! It's an amazing thing). But you can distract yourself from missing out on stuff you've not been doing by other tasks like finishing a book on audiobook maybe, I also did some other reading on technical subjects because I felt at least I was learning something. Try to make use of the downtime so when you come out of it won't feel so bad having done "none of XYZ".


Thanks for all of the above, GG. Your pain med advice is consistent with theirs. I understand the hesitancy to continue prescribing anyone dihydrocodeine, but I'm already only sleeping in three hour blocks. Just don't feel the ibuprofen/para combo will kick it.

The issue with the pain is that I'm supposed to be reaching 5/10 on pain threshold 5 times a day through physio. So hard to have mindfulness through self imposed pain, when your body is screaming to just revert back to safe postures.

I've blamed by focus on the pain, but it is probably more so general shitty old depression limiting me, with a decent excuse for once.

Willing to try the mindfulness exercises for sure though, so please do PM them through.

User avatar
Tafdolphin
Member
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:48 am

I'm in a place of massive highs and lows at the moment. One moment I'll be great, happy that it's summer and skipping around, the next I'll be unable to get out of bed, crushed by fear of the future and feeling completely oppressed by simple chores.

Big low yesterday as we started the day with an argument, then later went for a walk and ran into a few friends of my wife. I'm in a weird place with the French language: I can speak OK in controlled conditions but when I'm confronted by native speakers on short notice my brain shuts down and, worse than not being able to speak, I blurt out garbled, incorrect versions of the French I do know. As we're talking to these people, my wife jokingly referenced a private conversation we had had previously about how some stereotypes of the French were true by telling her friends, who I'd never met, that I thought French people stunk of BO. This isn't what I think, and the conversation she was referencing had a lot more nuance than that, so I was absolutely mortified that this was what she was telling them, the first time I'd ever met them. I snarled "what are you doing?" in English beneath a clenched smile but she somehow thought I was joking and kept going on and on about it. I actually think I had a mild panic attack, started sweating profusely and couldn't stop digging my nails into my arms whilst wanting the ground to just strawberry floating swallow me.

Of course as soon as we said goodbye to them I snapped, got proper angry at her in the middle of a crowded street. The whole incident brought up so many negative feelings, how ashamed I am of not being good at the language, how isolated I feel as a result of it, how desperately strawberry floating sad I am that I am denied even basic interactions with other people as I am usually an incredibly social person. Soon as we got home I went to bed and started listening to headspace modules over and over but nothing really helped. I pretty much stayed there for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and we haven't really spoken since. I don't want to apologise as I think she was being massively inappropriate but I also realise there are cultural differences perhaps I'm not getting. The problem also lies with me and in my reactions to these sorts of situations which I genuinely strawberry floating hate.

Gemini73 wrote:You really are just an obnoxious little toad.

Night Call: a game what I worked on. Out now!
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
User avatar
Johnny Ryall
Member
Joined in 2008
AKA: Macraig
Location: Box Elder, MO

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Mon Jun 24, 2019 7:01 pm

That's a tough complex situation man, but they probably weren't nearly as offended as you think.

I've got a Cisco ICND2 exam on the 3rd of July and it's stressing me the strawberry float out as I keep failing practice exams!

Like I thought I did super well on one and it was 75% argh. I need this stupid thing out of my life. Really taking the wind out of my sails now. If I fail part of me thinks I'll tell my boss I'm done with it because at this point I'm not bothered about the pay rise that comes with it.

User avatar
Qikz
#420BlazeIt ♥
Joined in 2011

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Mon Jun 24, 2019 7:22 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:I'm in a place of massive highs and lows at the moment. One moment I'll be great, happy that it's summer and skipping around, the next I'll be unable to get out of bed, crushed by fear of the future and feeling completely oppressed by simple chores.

Big low yesterday as we started the day with an argument, then later went for a walk and ran into a few friends of my wife. I'm in a weird place with the French language: I can speak OK in controlled conditions but when I'm confronted by native speakers on short notice my brain shuts down and, worse than not being able to speak, I blurt out garbled, incorrect versions of the French I do know. As we're talking to these people, my wife jokingly referenced a private conversation we had had previously about how some stereotypes of the French were true by telling her friends, who I'd never met, that I thought French people stunk of BO. This isn't what I think, and the conversation she was referencing had a lot more nuance than that, so I was absolutely mortified that this was what she was telling them, the first time I'd ever met them. I snarled "what are you doing?" in English beneath a clenched smile but she somehow thought I was joking and kept going on and on about it. I actually think I had a mild panic attack, started sweating profusely and couldn't stop digging my nails into my arms whilst wanting the ground to just strawberry floating swallow me.

Of course as soon as we said goodbye to them I snapped, got proper angry at her in the middle of a crowded street. The whole incident brought up so many negative feelings, how ashamed I am of not being good at the language, how isolated I feel as a result of it, how desperately strawberry floating sad I am that I am denied even basic interactions with other people as I am usually an incredibly social person. Soon as we got home I went to bed and started listening to headspace modules over and over but nothing really helped. I pretty much stayed there for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and we haven't really spoken since. I don't want to apologise as I think she was being massively inappropriate but I also realise there are cultural differences perhaps I'm not getting. The problem also lies with me and in my reactions to these sorts of situations which I genuinely strawberry floating hate.


I think the best thing you can do is talk to her and say why you got angry and see if what you thought happened really did. Sitting there anxious about it isn't going to help at all and hopefully if you can open up to her you can explain how you feel and she can help. I bottle things up way too often with my anxiety and it builds up until it's so bad I break down and cry to someone. It's almost always better to get things off your chest even if it doesn't feel great to start with.

Image
The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
User avatar
Tafdolphin
Member
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:57 pm

We're actually having a joint meeting with our counselor tomorrow which is good as I don't really know how to get past this. It's brought up a lot of really dark feelings that I think I need help running through.

Gemini73 wrote:You really are just an obnoxious little toad.

Night Call: a game what I worked on. Out now!
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
User avatar
Kezzer
Member
Joined in 2012

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:50 am

Johnny Ryall wrote:That's a tough complex situation man, but they probably weren't nearly as offended as you think.

I've got a Cisco ICND2 exam on the 3rd of July and it's stressing me the strawberry float out as I keep failing practice exams!

Like I thought I did super well on one and it was 75% argh. I need this stupid thing out of my life. Really taking the wind out of my sails now. If I fail part of me thinks I'll tell my boss I'm done with it because at this point I'm not bothered about the pay rise that comes with it.



You got this man! once you get your CCNA then you can relax for the next 3 years...

better do it before they change the format in Feb 2020

are there particular bits you are struggling with?

I am going to go jump right into my CCNP when they do the change in Feb as my CCNA has lapsed. :fp:

Image
Image
Image
https://i.imgur.com/p4kW4c7.png

Check out the Digital Combat Simulator thread for some hardcore aerial combat! | Mumble | PCGT V | The Photography Thread |
User avatar
Karl_
Nyaaaaaaa~!
Nyaaaaaaa~!
Joined in 2008
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl_ » Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:28 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:We're actually having a joint meeting with our counselor tomorrow which is good as I don't really know how to get past this. It's brought up a lot of really dark feelings that I think I need help running through.

Hey dude, sounds like you're going through a tough patch, sorry to hear it. Hope the counselling session today goes well for you.

User avatar
Johnny Ryall
Member
Joined in 2008
AKA: Macraig
Location: Box Elder, MO

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:26 pm

Kezzer wrote:
Johnny Ryall wrote:That's a tough complex situation man, but they probably weren't nearly as offended as you think.

I've got a Cisco ICND2 exam on the 3rd of July and it's stressing me the strawberry float out as I keep failing practice exams!

Like I thought I did super well on one and it was 75% argh. I need this stupid thing out of my life. Really taking the wind out of my sails now. If I fail part of me thinks I'll tell my boss I'm done with it because at this point I'm not bothered about the pay rise that comes with it.



You got this man! once you get your CCNA then you can relax for the next 3 years...

better do it before they change the format in Feb 2020

are there particular bits you are struggling with?

I am going to go jump right into my CCNP when they do the change in Feb as my CCNA has lapsed. :fp:


It was spanning tree - figuring out blocked ports, but I think I get that now.

SDN too. And just generally low level shitty things they like to put on exams like how long timers last for certain things. Practical labs I could do in my sleep at this point.

Basically I'm too old for exams and yes I'm pure raging about the changes. At least for you CCNA is no longer a prerequisite for CCNP.

User avatar
BID0
Member
Joined in 2008
Location: Essex

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BID0 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:25 pm

Have many people here tried CBD oil? I tried a forum search but nothing much posted about it since 2015.

I am looking at getting some for my anxiety/depression. I suffered bad this weekend and feel hungover/jet lagged from all of the adrenaline I guess my body pumped in to my system over the last few days and it's also causing me to not be able to eat either. I'm hoping the CBD oil might control things better and mean I don't feel so shitty.

I just wondered if anyone here had tried it, where they buy it from and what brands/makes are good/bad?

User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:47 pm

I tried it

tried a small dose and did nothing really, so tried the highest dose you can buy and again, nothing really

I hear it does miracles for some people but I dunno if its placebo or whatever, but its cheap enough to give it a go

Image
User avatar
BID0
Member
Joined in 2008
Location: Essex

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BID0 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:56 pm

Thanks False. I heard it's hit and miss too but I wondered if that was more down to where you got it from. I'll pop down Holland & Barrett this week and grab some. I don't care so much if it's a Placebo effect as long as it does something! I feel like I've done 12 rounds in a boxing ring today.

User avatar
Tafdolphin
Member
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:57 pm

Karl_ wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:We're actually having a joint meeting with our counselor tomorrow which is good as I don't really know how to get past this. It's brought up a lot of really dark feelings that I think I need help running through.

Hey dude, sounds like you're going through a tough patch, sorry to hear it. Hope the counselling session today goes well for you.


Ta. A couple of projects have recently finished up recently leaving me plenty of time to really dwell on this gooseberry fool so yeah. We'll see.

Gemini73 wrote:You really are just an obnoxious little toad.

Night Call: a game what I worked on. Out now!
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
User avatar
False
COOL DUDE
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Tue Jun 25, 2019 4:54 pm

BID0 wrote:Thanks False. I heard it's hit and miss too but I wondered if that was more down to where you got it from. I'll pop down Holland & Barrett this week and grab some. I don't care so much if it's a Placebo effect as long as it does something! I feel like I've done 12 rounds in a boxing ring today.


Ive tried a few brands and never felt much tbh

Ive heard that when it works you should be barely aware of it, it just does its thing

Obviously goes without saying you don’t get even slightly high at all but you might set off drug testing stuff I guess if that’s important

Image
User avatar
BID0
Member
Joined in 2008
Location: Essex

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by BID0 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 5:20 pm

False wrote:
BID0 wrote:Thanks False. I heard it's hit and miss too but I wondered if that was more down to where you got it from. I'll pop down Holland & Barrett this week and grab some. I don't care so much if it's a Placebo effect as long as it does something! I feel like I've done 12 rounds in a boxing ring today.


Ive tried a few brands and never felt much tbh

Ive heard that when it works you should be barely aware of it, it just does its thing

Obviously goes without saying you don’t get even slightly high at all but you might set off drug testing stuff I guess if that’s important

Yeh I never thought of that as I work with the police. I should be okay though, haven’t been drug tested yet! :slol:

User avatar
H3AN3Y
Member
Joined in 2018

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by H3AN3Y » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:35 pm

Still new here so I’ll be brief... I have been medicated for multiple mental health conditions and I am battling daily if not hourly not to just kill myself. I’m seeking all the appropriate help but can’t seem to get a single person to listen never mind understand how I feel and how I think. I’ve gotten myself in trouble with police and was filed as a missing person and evaded them for hours before making myself known on a public street. I’m not terrified about the consequences I’m terrified at the unpredictable nature that I am showing and the complete lack of care for my well being. I also frequently have vivid nightmares that don’t bother me until I wake up and don’t know where I am, to clarify I’ve been homeless for months now which is the lowest I’ve found myself since diagnosis.


Return to “Stuff”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 56 guests