Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Jazzem
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jazzem » Thu Jul 25, 2019 8:25 pm

Outrunner wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:Has anyone called Samaritans before? I feel like I’m reaching breaking point, the last few days I keep crying and am actively having to stop me chucking myself off the balcony. Thankfully my new flat's only two floors up so I probably won’t do it as I’d just shatter my legs.


Yes, several times, mostly when I've been suicidal but also when I've "just" been really low and felt I didn't want to burden anyone. All but one of the people I spoke to was great (and the one that wasn't great wasn't awful). They'll stay on the line as long as you need and even offered me a callback the following day (a different person but still it was nice that someone touched base with me). I'd definitely do it, it was a life line for me while I was waiting for other things to be put in places.

I will say the first call was a little...awkward I guess. I didn't know what to expect or what to say but the woman on the phone was great. It might also be worth checking your local Samaritans (if you have one). The one in my town had a drop in centre (I'm not sure if they still do).

I can honestly say they are one of reasons I am still alive today.


They have a texting service too: 07725 909090

Though they don't advertise it due to lack of resources:

It is currently possible to contact us via text, but we only run this service in a limited and targeted way.

Right now, we’re still developing this service and because of this we’re unable to advertise the number nationally.

We're still here to listen, any time, day or night.

If you'd prefer to write down your thoughts you can email or write us a letter. For a fast response, it's best you call us. You can also talk to a Samaritan in person at your local branch.


Can take up to a couple of hours to get a response but I usually get one sooner than that. It's been a great help as someone who struggles to do a phone call at such times. Quite nice to know I'll have a message of support in the morning too if I send something right before sleep

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:16 pm

I called the Samaritans after having an anxiety attack because I was treated like gooseberry fool by an EDF manager who didn't believe I was too ill to sort out a contract with them (I got shafted with Deemed Tariff rates in the meantime and charged something like £400 for 7 weeks of energy in a 2 bed, and I'm really poor), and manage stuff like that and basically called me a liar. They were a bit like, "This is more for people who are dying y'know" which was a bit gooseberry fool, but it was still helpful. I guess it's random who you get on the other end of the line.

As for this topic being public, yeah, it may be awkward, but I know for a fact people Google this thread because there are very likely people out there with similar interests and problems of their own who just read it because then they know they're not the only one feeling that way. And it's mostly dudes here, and there's a huge problem will male depression and no-one talking about it.

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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:54 pm

Problems with a manager at work have resulted in me self-harming for the first time in years. When I haven't been able to sleep I've also been idly wondering what would be the best way to die. These were supposed to be a relaxed last two months at work before sidelining into just doing Saturday shifts and starting university at the end of September. What's supposed to be an exciting (if nervous) time for me has turned into an anxiety ridden nightmare.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:35 am



Thought some people might find this helpful or comforting.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:38 am

Outrunner wrote:Problems with a manager at work have resulted in me self-harming for the first time in years. When I haven't been able to sleep I've also been idly wondering what would be the best way to die. These were supposed to be a relaxed last two months at work before sidelining into just doing Saturday shifts and starting university at the end of September. What's supposed to be an exciting (if nervous) time for me has turned into an anxiety ridden nightmare.

Dude your mental health is more important than a job, you either need to report him to HR or start looking for another job.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:24 am

Fade wrote:
Outrunner wrote:Problems with a manager at work have resulted in me self-harming for the first time in years. When I haven't been able to sleep I've also been idly wondering what would be the best way to die. These were supposed to be a relaxed last two months at work before sidelining into just doing Saturday shifts and starting university at the end of September. What's supposed to be an exciting (if nervous) time for me has turned into an anxiety ridden nightmare.

Dude your mental health is more important than a job, you either need to report him to HR or start looking for another job.


Yeah, I've been off for a week and decided to take the plunge. I'm going to university at the end of September, between my maintenance loan and the bursaries the university will be giving me I'll be about £1500 a year down on what I currently earn. I'm going to try and get a different part time job. I can't be arsed fighting over what amounts to one 4 hour shift a week. I think the biggest wrench will be leaving all my friends at work (which is the reasons I stayed there for so long, they have been my support network for years).

Even though I am leaving I am still filing a complaint against her over bullying and will be taking full advantage of my exit interview.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:05 pm

I kind of got an exit interview speaking to assistant head of HR years after I was unfairly dismissed from an employment via "edging out" on zero hours contract (someone else took over my job). It did feel better following it up even long after because you still suffer trauma. My manager was an asshole who once actually asked me after months of shitty treatment and myself explaining some of my issues, "Are you depressed?" to which I answered nonchalantly "Yes." Not sure he knew what to do. Well stop cornering me and giving me bollocking because of gooseberry fool I have no resources to solve. And bring back the original 5 or so members of staff instead of just me. That was after another bollocking so hopefully he finally realised what he was doing to me.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:22 pm

That sounds rough. I've been rather lucky that both bosses that knew about my issues were relatively understanding. One of them had a crazy temper but still treated me fairly when I told her.

I was just wondering if anybody else has had any experiences that have very obviously changed the way their brain processes things.

The first time I visited my Canadian girlfriend for 3 weeks I was so happy, I had imposter syndrome, on the ride back home from the airport in the car I just remember thinking "That is the happiest I'm ever going to be" and from that moment on I started developing very severe depression which was eventually the cause of us breaking up. And I've genuinely never been the same person, before I went I used to have some form of ego, used Twitter, made an effort to try and be funny, afteret I just lost all motivation for just about everything.

The other time was when I had terrible social anxiety straight after college, I was terrified of lots of normal stuff. Anyways my friend goes off to university and despite often being back in our hometown never made any time for me. Despite being socially anxious I still enjoyed going out with people I knew well. Anyway, it got to a point where he didn't see me for like 6 months and something in my brain just broke, after that I stopped actively seeking social occasions or looking forward to them. Even now I'm very vacant when at them.

Has anyone else had something similar happen?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:44 pm

Fade wrote:I was just wondering if anybody else has had any experiences that have very obviously changed the way their brain processes things.

Has anyone else had something similar happen?

Yes, both temporarily and permanently.

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Curls
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:12 pm

Hey.

So I've recently started mindfulness, like literally this week. Hoping a bit of meditation can help me turn off my forever thinking brain. Lets see how that goes.

Anyway, another reason I came in here is to ask what I feel may be a somewhat childish question. But it's been bothering me a lot recently, and hopefully someone with a fresh perspective will be able to shed light on it.

Please bare in mind my viewpoint is biased to my side and I'll tell you what the issue is.

I live and work and live overseas in a British community. My colleagues become my close friends etc it becomes your whole life and overwhelms you. Anyway, one of my close friends (lets call her friend A) has recently become extremely distant with me, a mutual friend of ours came out to work here (she's be friend B) and rather than us becoming a close knit group, them two (both girls) have paired up and basically rarely invited me to things. As I don't have much of a network here to fall back on, I confronted them on it and rather than things getting better they've gotten worse.

I have been very childish at times and felt isolated when I should have maybe just been doing my own thing, but it hurts to not be invited to something that you know two months ago you would have been and makes you doubt yourself, makes you question everything and makes you wonder if people even like you at all.

Here's the main catch, texting has become a major issue with this friend (A) now. I seem to be offering to do things for her, offering to meet up with her and always be the one nagging her to do things. She (A) often doesn't respond, her responses are short If she does respond, and she is distant, if I confront her on it she acts like nothing is wrong, when obviously there is. I am reaching breaking point now and I think I'm going to cut contact, stop texting and find reasonable, sensible people to spend time with.

Today's issue was simple. I had asked them both to do something today. It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm on night shifts for it, so today was the only day i was able to do something with them. I asked if they'd meet up for food this afternoon before my night shifts. The girl who's better (B) at texting always was a bit of a maybe which is fair (although i'd have made the effort for her), the other didn't bother replying and when I text last night with plans I still had no reply. I said I'd text at 13 or 14 today and low and behold,Neither want to come when I text.

I sent a message saying, 'I understand I'd caused a few issues in recent weeks, but a reply to my plans would be useful so then i could plan other things and wouldn't be waiting on you'. ( I actually could have done something else today).

She (A) replies (well done) 'If I don't respond or make plans with you when I text, please assume I'm not free so that I don't have to update you with my plans'

This to me is the final straw. Sure make your own plans, have your own life. But to not even want to text a once-close friend a courteous reply, or to update them on whats going on with your plans and life, that is not friendship is it. I have tried again and again to reach out to her, but she gives me nothing back. Why am I wasting my time?

The other friend is a little bit more down to earth and has more potential to win back, the issue is they are as thick as thieves, and when i started consoling in her last week with my issues with initial friend (A), she went and told her all about it because she felt bad for 'bitching behind her back.'

I was not bitching, I was trying to understand and get to know Friend A's problems, seeing if there was any issues of mine I could smooth out tofix things a bit, by chatting to Friend B as someone who knew the both of us. They really turned it on me and said I was trying to break them up and get between them. In no ways were my intentions malicious or trying to do that.

This is crazy as well, I feel like I am in a playground, I'm in my late 20's and my friendship network is all I have in the place where I am right now, so please understand this is why it's affecting me so much. Without these friends I am very limited in who I see and socialise with, I'm in a foreign country and end up eating alone and spending my days off alone. My life is horrifically lonely at the moment and two people who I should be able to talk to and help fix it actually make it worse.

Any opinions? My current thought is to be a bit selfish and give friend A her own medicine back, never text her, don't respond to her invites and say 'Assume I'm not coming if i don't respond' if she raises a fuss. Friend B, meh, we weren't as close to begin with but she's got more of a sensible head on her, she also doesn't hold grudges, but she is manipulated by A.We'll probably become more distant but may remain friends in the long run.

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Drumstick
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:36 pm

In the absolute nicest possible way, you are being manipulated. Dump the pair of them, or in your words, "give them a taste of their own medicine". You say this would be selfish, but it's anything but.

You should not want to be friends with people like this, and your life will actually be worse with them in it than not. Make new friends or be comfortable with your own company.

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Curls
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:29 pm

Drumstick wrote:In the absolute nicest possible way, you are being manipulated. Dump the pair of them, or in your words, "give them a taste of their own medicine". You say this would be selfish, but it's anything but.

You should not want to be friends with people like this, and your life will actually be worse with them in it than not. Make new friends or be comfortable with your own company.


Thanks mate, I realise you replied to an earlier post with the same advice. I think I'm going to have to. I won't be bitter or harsh on them, as I will still have to live and work alongside them in a small community, but I need to look after number 1 now.

I'm really trying to work hard on being comfortable with my own company. I do so much stuff by myself, but I struggle with loneliness. I often get a bit crazy and can't think straight if I've been alone too long, so don't end up productively doing stuff but end up trying to find out ways to stop being lonely. I know myself I can change this, but its an ongoing effort to change my mental state to it all.

I'm exercising a little more and trying to meditate, I try to think about what I did when younger, and I actually used to play video games. I'd loathe myself for doing that these days, but maybe with a little more self-awareness and appreciation, getting stuck into a game like Resident Evil 2 may take my mind off things when I'm alone.

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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Thu Aug 22, 2019 12:09 pm

Curls wrote:
Drumstick wrote:In the absolute nicest possible way, you are being manipulated. Dump the pair of them, or in your words, "give them a taste of their own medicine". You say this would be selfish, but it's anything but.

You should not want to be friends with people like this, and your life will actually be worse with them in it than not. Make new friends or be comfortable with your own company.


Thanks mate, I realise you replied to an earlier post with the same advice. I think I'm going to have to. I won't be bitter or harsh on them, as I will still have to live and work alongside them in a small community, but I need to look after number 1 now.

I'm really trying to work hard on being comfortable with my own company. I do so much stuff by myself, but I struggle with loneliness. I often get a bit crazy and can't think straight if I've been alone too long, so don't end up productively doing stuff but end up trying to find out ways to stop being lonely. I know myself I can change this, but its an ongoing effort to change my mental state to it all.

I'm exercising a little more and trying to meditate, I try to think about what I did when younger, and I actually used to play video games. I'd loathe myself for doing that these days, but maybe with a little more self-awareness and appreciation, getting stuck into a game like Resident Evil 2 may take my mind off things when I'm alone.


I've been in similar situations before and it's horrible and toxic. Everyone has an off day every now and then but this sounds like it's an ongoing issue and that really isn't fair on you. Friendship is a two way street and you don't deserve to be the one constantly chasing for replies. You deserve better than that and deserve better friends.

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Mini E
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Mini E » Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:42 am

Drummy and Outrunner are spot here IMO. Won’t write a long post saying the same thing, but I echo their thoughts.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:57 am

Had one of the worst weeks for as long as I can remember in a beautiful Croatian village by the sea.

Got broken up with essentially as soon as I arrived, meaning I then hung around for almost a full week knowing I wouldn't see the person I love again once it was over. First time anyone's ever broken up with me.

It was the right thing to happen in that I'm very monogamous once I'm in a relationship and she basically cannot do that, plus on a rational level I think she's actually been quite selfish and uncaring throughout me knowing her, meaning that hopefully down the line I'll see this as a positive. Hurts unbelievably though.

Flew to Warsaw late last night as the last minute flights were relatively cheap, had anticipated staying in the Balkan region with her but evidently not. Pissed she didn't mention her intentions the 6 weeks we were apart, instead waiting until I arrived.

Now know no one in a new city, feeling crushingly alone. Feel like I can't go home though, that would cripple me even worse. Just trying to survive each day right now.

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Curls
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sun Aug 25, 2019 8:06 am

This sucks mate. I'm sorry it happened at the start of your trip, and what should have been a good time has turned into a terrible one. Why don't you try to get on a tourist day tour or two take your mind off things? It's not ideal when you feel like gooseberry fool, but hopefully doing something will make you feel a little more human. Maybe not a concentration camp though.....

May I ask why home is so bad? Is there no support network there?

I must admit I always feel a bit depressed when I go back to my mums in Wales, I feel like a bit of a lost soul there and realise all my friends and family have moved on with their lives, and the good times of my childhood and teenage years are long behind. But still, it's good to be around people you love when you feel like gooseberry fool.

That's what I've been needing in my life these past few weeks and why i've felt so rejected by my so-called friends.

My update? They didn't come to my birthday meal on Friday even though they really really should have done. They didn't message on Saturday even though they were both free again. I saw them in the distance down at the beach, but I purposely avoided eye contact and was to the side enough to make it look like I hadn't seen them. (A few weeks back I'd have been invited with them, not randomly bumped into them) I'm not going to be the one to make a move, it hurts but I'm glad I've cut them out. If they do ever decide to invite me to something in next few weeks I absolutely have to be strong and say no, or just ignore any messages all together. It'll be hard though.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Aug 25, 2019 8:14 am

You're doing the right thing, they absolutely don't deserve your attention. Try stay strong if they do reach out to you.

I've already told the lass I can't talk to her for a while as it depresses me too much. Might message her at some point in the future if I'm up to it but I've promised myself to last at least till the end of September with no contact then can reevaluate how I feel.

I have people I love back home but honestly it just depresses me. For one thing I have to live with my parents again when I'm back, which, strawberry float that.

I feel bored and constricted in Edinburgh. I've seen everything the city has to offer and things are always just the same with all my friends which can be comforting but it makes me feel restless and like I'm wasting my life when I'm home. I dont feel fulfilled enough in work to be happy living a normal life - at least this way I see the world as I work so can point to that internally as justification that I'm leading an interesting life.

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Curls
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Sun Aug 25, 2019 8:42 am

I completely understand that feeling about travel. I've been on the road for the past 2 years really. Places like the Falklands and Cyprus are amazing to be in, and you live life much more by the day, and feel like you don't have to have all your life plans sorted. A day off is a day off work, and you have more freedom and feel guilt free for doing whatever the strawberry float you want on a day off.

The other side to it though, is I often feel like I'm putting life 'on hold' until i figure it out. until I meet that girl, or find that location I'm truly happy in. I feel a bit like a lost nomad.
Without sounding like a dick though, the income is quite good for working out here, so at least that's some justification for being away from home and living to work.

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Rocsteady
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Aug 25, 2019 10:22 am

That's my problem just now, I thought I'd finally found that in a city I like and with that lass but instead I'm having to start all over again. Think that's part of the reason I'm so torn up about it. I'm tired of moving all the time.

I'm the same with the money though, been spending loads lately to counteract sadness but generally it is fairly comfortable.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Aug 25, 2019 11:59 am

you have us still, ian

and for that I am sorry

be well brother

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