Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Sun Aug 25, 2019 2:35 pm

Thanks mate.

Image
User avatar
Fade
Member
Joined in 2011
Location: San Junipero

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:43 pm

Drumstick wrote:In the absolute nicest possible way, you are being manipulated. Dump the pair of them, or in your words, "give them a taste of their own medicine". You say this would be selfish, but it's anything but.

You should not want to be friends with people like this, and your life will actually be worse with them in it than not. Make new friends or be comfortable with your own company.

Agreed. I used to be like this, always chasing people to spend time with me and getting upset when they were flakey or messed me around.

The final straw was 2 months ago when someone lied to me to cancel plans we had 2 days later.

Yes it might suck in the short term, but it will force you out of your comfort zone and will help you find people who actually care about you. Never ever be the moth in a friendship/relationship. Sure I'm miserable right now but I'd be even more miserable if someone was treating me like crap, so people like that can get in the sea.

Honestly though, strawberry float grown ups who can't just be honest and say something like "I feel like we've grown apart, sorry" and instead take the coward's way out and slowly ghost you. It's so incredibly immature and does a lot of damage to people's mental health.

Image
User avatar
Curls
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Mon Aug 26, 2019 11:59 am

So the meditation thing, I briefly mentioned it the other day.

Maybe it's a complete placebo but I've been doing it once a day for about 10 days now, and I think it may actually be helping. Does anyone else do it? Any pro-tips?
Anyone else do it more than once a day perhaps?

i'm currently just following some programme on the Calm app. I'll keep at it for a few months and see if it helps keep my brain settled.

My problem has always been I overthink and worry about everything and everyone, and the thoughts and reactions of what they think of me. The experience of the past month or so hasn't been nice, but I think the girls treating me like gooseberry fool may have helped me to realise that I do need to reassess some certain aspects of my own life, health, expectations and happiness and try to love myself a little more. Maybe time and new perspectives and things like meditation will help.

I by no means haven't been an innocent party, and I have apologised countless times for my failings. But I am only human, and I can't beat myself up about it. At the end of the day, they've pushed a decent friend away. I need to let go.

User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Aug 28, 2019 8:13 pm

It really starts to work after you have practised it for a long period like 3-6 months, as your brain literally changes. You start to recognise what it is to feel relaxed and your muscles soften, you get more at peace with your surroundings and general sense of being; things feel a little more fluid. I really recommend keeping it up, as I frequently come back to just sitting and feeling my legs get that funny "melty" or "tingly" feeling. It's pretty rad, but it takes perseverance and try not to forget this skill you're developing and it will still be there when you need it. Psychoanalytically it helps lessen that overthinking by accepting that thoughts are OK and they're just "stuff", they don't determine who your are, were, or are going to be, what you're going to do etc. Thoughts just happen and that's cool.

With the "body scan" technique I felt it helped sometimes to scan up and down however needed and focus on specific areas that were tense in my body rather than strictly up and down for this or that number of minutes or number of breaths. Because at some points I was feeling anxious about not being able to "let go" of my ankles or knees for example (I have restless leg syndrome which has lessened a lot since I tried mindfulness and changed some work patterns). So there's a little bit of personalisation to discover but all I can say is that, it does work with repeat practice.

I still have terrible moments where there are just too many factors outside of my control but it's helped with generalised anxiety throughout the day, at home and sometimes in public or on transport etc when I'm overwhelmed. I recognise more often when I need to relax. It's not specific enough to help with, well, specific psychosocial issues or deep seated bad habits but it helps with feeling a bit wound up all the time.

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
Curls
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Wed Aug 28, 2019 8:24 pm

Even if something helps a little bit, I'm sure it's worth doing. And for 15-30 mins a day I have no reason not to continue. I'll keep it up, cheers for your thoughts Gecko.

User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Wed Aug 28, 2019 8:34 pm

I think I read that if you start during a crisis period meditation can actually make your symptoms worse. I think I might try get into it once I've levelled out a bit.

Starting to feel ever so slightly better, though it feels like a long road to climb. That lass was an absolute strawberry floating disaster for my mental health. Hopefully in the long term i can take something from this.

Image
User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Aug 28, 2019 9:52 pm

I would probably only do 5-10 minute breathing exercises if I was constantly having anxiety attacks, I wouldn't do anything longer than that or generally sit around, I'd try to keep my mind busy doing more proactive tasks than, well, almost nothing. Even if it were just playing games or something more full bodied like model-making.

I tend to try and get myself to do the more heavy duty stuff like carpentry/woodwork with manual tools (planes and chisels and the like) when I'm depressed as in turn that is more of a whole body sort of thing and less in my head than anxiety is. As of course that's a type of exercise with big visible goals (even if sometimes projects take days) or signs of progress that directly result from the work put in (something thinking doesn't do) which is well known to help with depression, although I know well that not everyone (including me) can muster the wherewithal to do activities like that. Other times I'll try to go for a short (even 2-5 minute walk) around the block or do a basic errand.

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:47 am

Basically just using this as my personal diary at this point but I feel like strawberry floating gooseberry fool today. Keep thinking about quitting my job despite the fact it's probably helping me hold it all together, just want to lie in bed all day. Barely doing any work anyway, my attention span is strawberry floated. Got so many potential options for what to do and they all just seem as awful as one another, ugh.

Image
User avatar
Corazon de Leon
Doctor ♥
Joined in 2008
AKA: Deadpool / sntaa

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Corazon de Leon » Fri Aug 30, 2019 11:30 am

Sorry to hear it Ian mate, keep posting here and use the place as an outlet.

Image
User avatar
Rocsteady
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:47 pm

Thanks, appreciate the support on here, it definitely does help. Been a not ideal few months.

Got Limmy to get me through the rest of friday at least :wub:


Image
User avatar
Tafdolphin
Member
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:33 pm

Does anyone else get into despair cycles? Like, one thing sets you off, which leads to more depressive thoughts, which leads to more etc etc?

Found myself getting trapped in these a lot recently. The most innocuous things (in tonight's case the possibility that a contact is in town, going out with friends etc, and hasn't bothered to tell me) can lead to me going from neutral or even good moods to wallowing in these deep, bottomless sadnesses in less than a minute.

Night Call: a game what I worked on. Out now!
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
User avatar
still
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by still » Sat Sep 07, 2019 11:46 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:Does anyone else get into despair cycles? Like, one thing sets you off, which leads to more depressive thoughts, which leads to more etc etc?

Found myself getting trapped in these a lot recently. The most innocuous things (in tonight's case the possibility that a contact is in town, going out with friends etc, and hasn't bothered to tell me) can lead to me going from neutral or even good moods to wallowing in these deep, bottomless sadnesses in less than a minute.


Have you ever thought of not giving a strawberry float? Just a suggestion.

User avatar
Karl_
Nyaaaaaaa~!
Nyaaaaaaa~!
Joined in 2008
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl_ » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:04 am

Tafdolphin wrote:Does anyone else get into despair cycles? Like, one thing sets you off, which leads to more depressive thoughts, which leads to more etc etc?

Found myself getting trapped in these a lot recently. The most innocuous things (in tonight's case the possibility that a contact is in town, going out with friends etc, and hasn't bothered to tell me) can lead to me going from neutral or even good moods to wallowing in these deep, bottomless sadnesses in less than a minute.


Yes, absolutely. I used to get the plunge of despair a lot too.

I meant absolutely no harm but I was - for about 18 months when depression really had me in its grip - by far the most emotionally fragile person I knew. I didn't really realise until I was coming out of it how easy to upset I was and how tough I could be on my friends.

I'm by no means "cured", not even close, but nowadays I have "stumbles" rather than totally falling into the pit. What helped me was a combination of things: a mirtazapine tablet once daily, which got me to a place where I could benefit from talking things out and learning to communicate & listen better, which got me to a place where I could contextualise my unhealthy thoughts & behaviours and actively work on myself. A change of scenery & job and the perspective that gave me helped a lot too to be honest, though I know that's not an option for everyone.

User avatar
Tafdolphin
Member
Member
Joined in 2008

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:08 am

Karl_ wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:Does anyone else get into despair cycles? Like, one thing sets you off, which leads to more depressive thoughts, which leads to more etc etc?

Found myself getting trapped in these a lot recently. The most innocuous things (in tonight's case the possibility that a contact is in town, going out with friends etc, and hasn't bothered to tell me) can lead to me going from neutral or even good moods to wallowing in these deep, bottomless sadnesses in less than a minute.


Yes, absolutely. I used to get the plunge of despair a lot too.

I meant absolutely no harm but I was - for about 18 months when depression really had me in its grip - by far the most emotionally fragile person I knew. I didn't really realise until I was coming out of it how easy to upset I was and how tough I could be on my friends.

I'm by no means "cured", not even close, but nowadays I have "stumbles" rather than totally falling into the pit. What helped me was a combination of things: a mirtazapine tablet once daily, which got me to a place where I could benefit from talking things out and learning to communicate & listen better, which got me to a place where I could contextualise my unhealthy thoughts & behaviours and actively work on myself. A change of scenery & job and the perspective that gave me helped a lot too to be honest, though I know that's not an option for everyone.


It's the job and scenery that's at the base of it all I expect, last night compound by alcohol which I thought would help but, amazingly, actually made things a lot worse. Who would've thought?

still wrote:Have you ever thought of not giving a strawberry float? Just a suggestion.


DMed because what the strawberry float, but this sort of gooseberry fool is extremely unhelpful and I'm lucky I only saw it this morning and not last night.

Night Call: a game what I worked on. Out now!
t: @Tafdolphin | Twitch: Tafdolphin
User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:45 am

I think still means the strategy casually known as not giving a strawberry float, it's the titular subject of several books e.g. "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a strawberry float".

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image
User avatar
kerr9000
Member
Joined in 2013

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:56 am

A work friend got me a book like that for my birthday it was great, I really enjoyed it and I think it helped. The basic principle is to many people care to much about what this person and that person think and that you basically have a strawberry float bag with only so many strawberry floats in it and you need to decide what's worth giving a strawberry float about as that will help you deal better with life.

http://kerr9000.blogspot.co.uk/ For my Blog... https://www.youtube.com/user/kerr9000 for my YouTube channel. kerr9000_blog on Instagram. kerr9000 on Xbox, PS4 etc
User avatar
Qikz
#420BlazeIt ♥
Joined in 2011

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:38 am

The last two days I've had extremely bad anxiety dreams - Monday I could understand it because work was absolutely gooseberry fool and easily one of the worst days I've ever had there, but yesterday was good and maybe one of the best days I've ever had there.

I've got no idea what im actually anxious about currently, but all of my bad anxiety dreams involve work.

Image
The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
User avatar
Corazon de Leon
Doctor ♥
Joined in 2008
AKA: Deadpool / sntaa

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Corazon de Leon » Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:59 am

Green Gecko wrote:I think still means the strategy casually known as not giving a strawberry float, it's the titular subject of several books e.g. "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a strawberry float".


No I actually agree with Taf on this one - the comment is very blasé and dismissive of what he’s experiencing, which is absolutely not what this thread is for. If still was suggesting he look at a subsection of self help books he should’ve been clearer. If he was suggesting that Taf tries “not giving a strawberry float” as a serious motion then he doesn’t understand how mental health issues work and shouldn’t have bothered posting at all.

Image
User avatar
Corazon de Leon
Doctor ♥
Joined in 2008
AKA: Deadpool / sntaa

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Corazon de Leon » Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:01 am

Qikz wrote:The last two days I've had extremely bad anxiety dreams - Monday I could understand it because work was absolutely gooseberry fool and easily one of the worst days I've ever had there, but yesterday was good and maybe one of the best days I've ever had there.

I've got no idea what im actually anxious about currently, but all of my bad anxiety dreams involve work.


You seem to be getting it tight at work just now SD, you mentioned how busy it was and how hard you were working in the wolf mafia thread. Anxiety isn’t only caused by bad days, it can be a sign that your work life balance is skewed heavily towards the former. Have you considered taking a week off to relax, maybe go away somewhere and have a break?

Image
User avatar
Green Gecko
Treasurer
Joined in 2008
Location: Sussex
Contact:

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:58 pm

It's certainly not helpful in phrasing. I often get that from people who have suffered mental health problems but are currently doing ok which makes it more frustrating. I agree people need to be careful how they post in this topic and be more mindful of what people could be experiencing. It's a very fine line but should be pretty obvious imo.

Qikz, do you take your holidays? I never took my holiday in my permanent job which was a problem. You're entitled to that in addition to your sick leave or any compassionate leave.

♥ gaems | t: @GRcade | FB: GRcadeUK | YT: GRcadeVideo | Twitch: GRcadeUK
Image

Return to “Stuff”